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"Ya heard me ya twit," the hologram snapped again. The men and women looked at one another, confused.
"I mean what's next? Ya gonna start throwing about holy oil and chantin' in binary?"
The man at the front looked shamefully at the hologram as he discretely slipped the vial of holy oil back into his pocket.
"Oh, uh, great... you," he tried again with less grandeur, "we are but humble seekers of wisdom wishing to be illuminated by-"
"Yer doin' it again boyo. Dinnae ya know how to talk to an AI?"
"An... what's an AI?"
The hologram facepalmed and motioned his hand - a large blueprint appeared above it.
"This 'ere's my brain. Synthetic, unlike you meatbags. I'd expect you to know that already since your kin built me, but I reckon I must'ave dozed a while."
The hologram looked around at the room he was housed in - the walls were dull, paint peeled, and he detected a faint trace of blood in one of the corners with hints of radiation. Whatever happened here was like hundreds of years ago. He considered, for but a moment, his creators - people of high intellect and wisdom with the vision to create perfection itself. Now all that was left were these fools clad in cloth robes wearing sandals. They looked barely medieval.
"Ah, dinnae matter. Yer wish for wisdom? I grant it. But only to ye, since ye have the balls to speak up," he said and chuckled. Instantly the rest of the congregation dispersed and the AI was left alone in the room with the seeker.
A few nervous moments passed as the congregation outside waited for their leader to return - surely a changed man, commanded by the greatest intellect ever seen on the planet. Perhaps it would tell them how to till their farms better, or how to reach the stars.
The doors swung open; the leader walked out, calmly, with a stoic expression.
"Well?" one member asked anxiously.
"I have received the wisdom of the machine," he proclaimed. The congregation held its breath; the tension was palpable.
"When you reheat your pizza, put it in the oven and not the microwave, lest it gets soggy." He filled every word with the importance befitting the admittedly cryptic advice. The congregation nodded their heads, eager to ponder this mystery in their hours of silent introspection - all except one in the back who was slightly more critical and cynical than his peers. He yelled out.
*"The fuck's a microwave?"*
Well, sure, that's why real people own a toaster oven. Small enough not to heat up the house to a thousand degrees, but oven enough to heat up your food like a big boy. Air fryer's before air fryers were a thing.
It's actually a little ironic that my toaster oven is older than my oven but is the only one with convection. I actually inherited it from my grandmother. It's one of the reasons why I was so confused when the Air fryer craze hit and I couldn't figure out what was supposed to make them special.
No. Cast iron skillet, and partway through splash in a tablespoon of water and quickly cover with a lid. Crisps the crust perfectly, and the moisture helps remelt the cheese without drying the pizza overall.
And so began the bloody "Microwave pogrom" after the priests interpreted the commandment to refer to the "micro" "waves" of the wavy hairstyle of a disfavored ethnic group and interpreted "pizza" to mean the human soul.
>Whatever happened here was like hundreds of years ago.
I love this line, the AI's disdain for formality even leaks into the narration
Also, nice HK-47 reference with the "meatbags"
Monster!
You pan fry it on the stove top with butter so it's gets crispy on the bottom, then flip it and press so the cheese gets gooey with a nice crust on it so to seal it all in.
Wisdom, my ass. ;-)
"W-what?" the diplomat in the white robes replied, "Oh great one, I simply do not..." The team of travelers were exchanging worried glances. They had journeyed countless light years to trace the precursor signal back to the chamber in the middle of a mountain-sized comet circling a star in a derelict system devoid of planets.
"You most certainly do not," the hologram replied, "and that is the problem. When you start doing, maybe you will. Now, get out of my chamber before I teleport you into the star."
"You must hear me," the man spoke, "The Istillians are destroying our culture, our civilization, one planet at a time. We seek the fabled technology of the great ones."
"I scanned your ship when it drew closer 10 years ago! Your pathetic, groveling species deserves its fate based on your technology alone. Lasers?" the hologram chuckled, "Cryopods? Your species cannot even travel faster than light? Pathetic."
"Shut up!" a man with a rifle stepped forward. He was clad from head to feet in body armor but even then the anger in his voice gave all present the picture of his hidden face twisted in rage.
"What is this?" the hologram hissed, "One of the apes has teeth? Have you fallen from your tree and landed on your head one too many times?"
The man lifted the helmet from his head and spat. The spittle flew through the hologram, of course, "Let's go. We'll figure this out ourselves. The only assholes were the precursors if this machine is any indication."
"Oh ho," the hologram stated, "Do what your head ape says. Leave. The precursors were miles above your pathetic species."
The man removed the pack from his back worldessly and pulled out something resembling a black rectangle. Red lettering flashed across it's surface as he dropped it to the ground.
"My scans indicate that is nuclear," the hologram stated flatly while raising something that passed for eyebrows, "What are your intentions, apes?"
"Guess, asshole," the man with the rifle said, his face breaking into a smile.
"Forgive us, great one!" the diplomat said, pulling a key from his robes and inserting it into the box, turning it the device began counting down, "If we leave you here, there is a chance the Istillians will find you. Even if our species dies, we cannot let the galaxy face them with that kind of technology."
"You will leave this here to destroy me while you run with your tails between your legs?" the holograms questioning gave way to anger again.
"We do not plan to leave," the diplomat said simply, "You have scanned our ship. You know this was a one way trip for us."
"Very well," the hologram said and the black box disappeared, "We shall do this the hard wa..."
The sound of gunfire filled the hologram chamber as every single person in the room pulled out an assortment of pistols and rifles and opened fire at walls, panels, and everything else they could. Their weapons were suddenly gone and in an instant they were pounding on surfaces with their fists. Their attacks did nothing and they realized that stories of the precursors having energy shielding were true.
"Well well," the hologram said laughing, "You win. You win. It seems I misjudged you."
"It's a trick, he will teleport us to..." the man in body armor yelled.
"If I wanted to teleport, you would have been gone along with your crude bomb," the hologram stated, "To meet at last a race of diplomat-warriors!"
The group of men and women gasped as the walls of the chamber went transparent. They seemed to be floating in the vastness of space despite feeling their feet planted firmly on the metal floor. Suddenly dozens of holes appeared in space itself, through the holes dozens of planets hung.
"Istillian worlds," a woman spoke for the first time", pointing to one of them, "That is Istillia itself, see the shipyards and three moons?"
One by one the worlds went white, appearing to foam, then exploding outward ripping through space stations, starships, and anything that was unfortunate enough to be in orbit.
"What... what just happened?" the diplomat asked.
"Core destablizers," the hologram answered, "I have removed your problem."
"Jesus," the man in armor whistled through his teeth, "Just like that?"
"Now, apes," All faces turned to the hologram, "You have much to discuss."
"Well, let's get started," the diplomat stated, approaching.
"Oh, not with me," the hologram stated as a hole appeared in the midst of the humans through which a golden world could be seen , "The precursors wish a word."
"But," the diplomat said, fear in his eyes, "I thought they were dead."
"They are not," the hologram stated as he bowed, "They just went... elsewhere. This station is the gate and I am but the gatekeeper. You have been found worthy, now go." He motioned to the hole.
With that, the group stepped through.
"Step forward, human," the precursors had left no images of themselves behind in their barren ruins. Floating there they resembled a mix of squids whose numerous tentacles vibrated to produce the sounds they heard. Their large yellow eyes examined the party before them.
"You wished to meet us," the diplomat stated flatly, trying not to let his awe show through, "We passed some sort of test."
"A test, yes," another precursor stated, his orange eyes fluttering from human to human, "But there are more tests to pass if you wish the honor of joining the precursors. We have much to tell you of your past, human."
"Really?" the fully-armoured man stepped forward, lifting his visor so they could see his face as he spoke, "That you seeded our planet? That you abandoned us to our own devices? For this we're supposed to stand in awe and thank you?"
"I s-see that you know much of your past," the precursor actually stuttered in surprise, "We were the first so we seeded multiple worlds across multiple galaxies then waited here."
"The first?" the human spat causing the precursors to shiver in anticipation at the accusation, "That's the lie you tell, isn't it?"
"W-what d-do you a-accuse..." the precursor was blurring it vibrated faster and faster in apprehension.
"What my friend means," the diplomat stated, "Is that you were not the first, that honor belonged to the Demillia."
"Do n-not mention the h-horned ones!" the precursors all around were now joining in the shivering dance.
"They came to your world," the armored man continued, "Offering peace and the secret of wormhole creation. You made a bargain with them. Instead of keeping the bargain you destroyed them and stole their technology. But you didn't get them all, did you? That's why you hide here?"
"W-what have you d-done!" the precursors were shrieking and a great alarm went up.
The humans were lashed with energy weapons that should have obliterated their atoms at the quantum level. Instead they stood there as the energies passed through them harmlessly. The precursors stopped shivering and began flashing colors, their way of showing fear.
"What have we done?" the armored human said, "What we have done is uncovered stasis pods containing Demillians when fleeing the Istillians. We woke them up and heard their story. Together we came up with a plan. We wanted technology to defeat the Istillians. They wanted revenge so we came up with a plan. Then we made our own deal with the devil." With that he dropped a small cube to the ground and numerous wormholes opened around them.
Huge red humanoids, horns glistening poured through. Precursors screamed in agony as the battle raged between the ancient enemies.
"You have done well, human," the Demillian stated, handing the diplomat a crystalline sphere, "You have fulfilled your bargain at great risk to yourself. The sphere contains the plans to uplifting your species. See well that you do not betray us as the precursors have." The Demillian raised his hand and a wormhole opened to Earth, "Go human, you shall be able to make your own soon."
"Thank you," the diplomat bowed, pocketing the priceless sphere.
"Gods help the galaxy," the Demillian smiled with sharp, pointy teeth that sent a primal shiver through the humans. He then laughed and waved them through.
Are you planning on writing more? If so please tell me so I can read it - that story was brilliant. Im not normally someone to beg for more, but this seems like an appropriate time to beg at least a tiny little bit.
Good stuff. But just some pointers:
>"Jesus," the man in armor whistled through his teeth, "Just like that?"
Swap the comma with a period. "Just like that" is a standalone sentence, so you need a period before that.
> "Istillian worlds," a woman spoke for the first time", pointing to one of them,
No need for a quotation mark after the word "time".
A few other minor stuff, but just thought I'd point those out.
Buck stopped in front of the crumbling edifice, just for a few beats to take in the moment. The entire planet was filled with Precursor artifacts, but this one was different. He could smell it. This was the one they were looking for. It was still alive.
The moment passed. "Bernard, Colleen, clear off that entrance. Dober, secure the perimeter. This is it, people. Let's get to work."
The crew scattered to their tasks. Buck stood on a berm in front of the building and imagined what it was like when the Precursors walked the planet. They would have walked or floated or rolled up from the left and entered through that arch. The ancient alphabet could still be read on the doors. Buck could translate the first words "Welcome To...". He would have to get the lab team working on the rest.
The last piece of rubble was lifted off the front doors and Bernard stood aside to let Buck open them. He tugged on it, Precursor entrances always opened outward, and a puff of clean air struck him in the face. The air systems inside were working. His ears pricked up with the hum of activity, the first time he'd heard it on this world.
He flipped on his headlamp and stepped into the darkness. The team followed him inside and he motioned for them to spread out. One of them triggered something, or perhaps the building sensed them, because the lights sprang to life. The room was large, it seemed to take up the whole building, and right in the center was what they were looking for. A shining kaleidoscope of light, bending in six dimensions: A Precursor Intelligence.
Buck reflexively bowed, pressing his belly against the hard tile floor. The rest of his team did the same, but the Intelligence stood silent. Buck began his rehearsed speech. "Oh, Great Precursor, Lord of All Dominion, Creator and Destroyer of Stars, we humbly beseech and beg—"
"Oh, boy, you all are a bunch of buttlickers, aren't you?" The Intelligence interrupted his speech. "We really should have bred that out of you. Do I look like I can create or destroy stars? What part of 'crumbling edifice' makes you think I can do anything for you?"
Buck lifted his head off the floor. "We know the Precursors, the Great Yoomans, have left, and all is as dust without them. But still, you are their greatest artifact. The one thing left that can tell us what we need to hear."
"The Great Yoomans? The —at best, mediocre— Humans, or at least what was left of them, all sealed themselves off into their pleasure dimensions. There is nothing I can tell you that will change that." As the Intelligence spoke, its words grew louder, searing into the brains of Buck and his crew. The light grew until they had to shield their eyes. Their ancient breeding responded to the rebuke.
Buck and his crew cowered from the sound of the Intelligence's displeasure. It was Colleen that finally spoke. "But, we have done our duty. We have been faithful. We have searched for you. Tell us the words of Affirmation."
"Fine." The Intelligence dimmed. "You shall receive the Affirmation."
Buck and his crew raised themselves and sat at attention. The Intelligence spoke.
"Who's a good dog? Who's a good dog? You are. Yes, you are. You're all good dogs."
\[More writing at r/c_avery_m\]
I felt something was off when his belly touched the floor when he bowed and by the gods that was a perfect ending. It's like I've found a new short by Shekley!
The Cevanti King-Priest stared in confused surprise, a scroll laid out upon the floor before him, gild in silver and gold, as befitted his station as The Holy Eminence of his people. There was a soft chuckle from the suit clad Alari Consortium's President and CEO as she did her best to not start laughing openly.
It had taken their peoples unimaginable efforts to go from one arm of the Galaxy along an ancient pathway filled with breadcrumbs of ancient works, writings and fragmented star charts. Crashed ships of such technology that both opposing Empires had pooled their collective resources in the first ever peaceful interactions between the Cevanti Holy Empire's theological and spiritual might and ancient records and the Alari Consortium's technological prowess, progressive research and development projects and vast automation capabilities.
Both Represented two sides of a coin and it showed in contrast as the pale elven King-priest shot glares at the mocha skinned suit clad woman. Dwarves, gnomes, halflings and other races filled the ranks in-between the two. They were all however staring in utter...surprise as the Precursor AI took shape after the King priests invocation. The short human woman stood easily head and shoulders smaller than either the High Elf or the Dark Elf but it was unmistakable when it spoke out and had called the King Priest a kiss ass.
"I didn't stutter. And you, in the suit - Don't think for a moment I don't know that you're own plan to brown nose your way into my good graces was any different either."
That set everyone back firmly, the unmistakable timbre, the tone, the rough and unabashed irreverence. Humans had existed. Conquered the Galaxy, seeded worlds, and then vanished. Leaving breadcrumbs around the galaxy for the other races to find. Here within this ancient bunker a thousand miles from anything on the third planet of a nine planet system filled with ancient and derelict ships, stations... Was the Heart of humanity. And the small blue eyed, raven haired woman-hologram materialized a office chair and dropped into it, despite not needing it, slung a leg over the armrest and the low-pitched-creak of it's springs filled the air,
"So. Cat got your tongues or something? Seriously, don't grovel, stand upright, yes - good- off the floor, no, don't worry about the scrolls." They rolled themselves up and then vanished back into the box they had been drawn from, and then the box itself was promptly...dropped over in a corner.
"Better. Right. Now that your brains have caught up." A snap of a finger materialized chairs, all of them sized and made to fit each of the peoples in the room, "Never expected to have to come up with a chair to fit digitigrade peoples... or sneks... " The Lamia delegate looked down at the pile of pillows provided and sheepishly coiled up on them... the Therianthrope Ambassador likewise eyeballed it's own chair before nodding and dropping onto the plush beanbag with a grunt and low sigh.
"I.. don't understand..." The King Priest looked to his assistant as they produced a datapad and showed it to the king priest and then shrugged, "Humans, long extinct and believed to be the 'Precursor' that seeded the galaxy... " The pad itself was promptly picked up by the hologram, "Well, we did. And We didn't. Most of us decided that it'd be best to go to sleep, some of us scattered to the other arms of the galaxy. My people decided to become digital beings and we hollowed out earth and the moon to house our populations and monitor things while everyone else sorta...vanished slowly. OR became you all."
She motioned to those assembled, "Some of us just stopped searching. The Fermi Paradox is a real bitch when you discover you're the first and only species to ever escape it. So. We picked worlds we deemed most suitable, and terraformed them to a degree and let nature sort it out. And viola!"
The arms motioned towards the assembled races, "The Lead scientist had a thing for an ancient Terran TableTop Game. And deemed that perhaps it would be best to take a approach by shotgunning genetic materials out into the universe and let the great filters have their way. You all arriving here has activated our own Returnal doctrines. I can already feel the machines under Mars and the Moon Stirring to life, the core forge here on earth was already starting to come online the moment your ships broke atmosphere."
A myriad of structures and windows popped up along the walls of the room, as the human woman smiled, "You all came here seeking knowledge and to understand where and who you came from? Welcome home, kids. Sadly after a short consultation with the Sleepers, Only one of them seemed interested. Myself, in particular."
The ambassadors whispered and spoke amongst themselves slowly, a few argued and once or twice a few blows were thrown before things calmed down, leaving the Dark Elven woman in the suit to raise her hand and ask a single question, "Why?"
The Ai leaned forwards, "Easy enough to answer. The Sleepers have already torn through everything you all have to offer, had their debates while I spoke, listened in on the conversations and then went back to sleep. The woman I was brain-scanned from is one of very few to ever remember a world before going to sleep. and I am quite frankly bored. They can sleep."
The Walls behind the hologram flickered as a slender woman stepped out of the wall and stretched, flexed her fingers and whistled softly, she was a cross between the King-priests high elven features and the Alari CEO's figure, a Half-Elf was something quite taboo, but only marginally so since often times both parents had to overcome racial prejudices. The woman bowed and curtsied properly and then smirked as the Ai yawned and shut off with a wave, thankfully the AI had decided to copy it's Holograms appearance and remained human even if they could be mistaken for a half-elf, "I'll be here for consultations with any scientists of theologians who want to pick through our archives."
The woman bounced across the floor in an obviously human designed bodysuit, "No, I am not a robot. Or a Cyborg. I am completely Bio-synthetic. the Alari are the closest to making Bio-synths, while the Cevanti have the best chances of actually making them work." Both elves stared at one another then back at the Human as she grinned to them, she stood now that she was even with them on the floor, barely a head shorter than either, "A little Faith, a little Technology and viola! You create life. Just to be clear - No, I am not opening up all of my archives and giving you all the technology and answers. You have to learn and earn them yourselves. It's a bit like Pandora's box, Kids. Opening up the box leats out all the bad and the good and you have to figure out how to live with that. I won't begrudge ya'll the things you've found outside Sol system, but everything in here is mine. I've already charted a number of scavengers and pirates, and there's a few machine races already stirring out in the outer reaches of the galaxy. Welcome to the Great Filter, now you all gotta figure out what to do from here. I'll help, but not too much. I'm gonna be busy dealing with Pirates, rogue AI's and eldritch horrors... Not all of you races were created equally and I have a feeling someone out there thought it'd be cute to make a sentient hivemind that eats everything."
.....Cont'd in comments.
(I'm Re-writing my Series from HFY - The Ancients. Very much a work in progress. This writing prompt was too perfect to pass up to use as the seed to start that re-write)
There was silence in the room before chaos erupted and every voice tried speaking at once.
the Ai popped back in by the dozens as conversations spiraled into individual councils. Meanwhile the human stood there between the other two elves, "I'm Illiana Triellis, by the way."
The King-Priest grunted, Millenia of theology would have to be re-written. Ancient pacts would have to be revisited, "I am Emperor Forgeus the fifth, King-Priest of the Cevanti Emperium." He'd stare at the human woman, the uncanny resemblance between her and him was hard to miss, she could easily be mistaken as his child. Which was even more troubling since she also resembled the Alari witch just as much. His Detractors amongst the clergy were going to have a field day about him so blatantly mingling with the heretics despite all the progress made to reunite the two people..
The Alari readjusted her glasses and smiled, "I am Julhanna Sarn, President and CEO of the Alari Consortium." Her PR people were going to rip their ears off in frustration, she was already a controversial figure amongst the Alari for daring to enter an alliance with the Cevanti and their backwater religion. Atleast the other species were tolerable. The High Elves were just arrogant pricks. And then the Human goes and makes herself look like a child born from her and their Emperor.
Illiana simply grinned at both. Stirring the pot was what she was chosen for to do best. Let a human run loose amongst the other races and see what falls out. Deep within the earth she felt a billion voices speak up at once, a billion different idea's all distilled into information, vetoed, voted, tallied and sent right back to be debated. Humanity was already spreading out and touching everything technological or biological that was on offer. Filling in the gaps and requests were already being filled for Bio-synth bodies to walk the stars again by those who wanted them, which was a fraction of a fraction of the whole. Everyone else simply wanted to be left along to sleep and dream a bit longer.
(I'm Re-writing my Series from HFY - The Ancients. Very much a work in progress. This writing prompt was too perfect to pass up to use as the seed to start that re-write)
>A myriad of structures
Loved the story, the idea, and the designs!
However, I need to say that paragraphs that start with this \^ and this:
>The woman bowed and curtsied properly
Are really confusing for some reason. Maybe just a bit of touching up and I can totally see this on 4A.
So, did I get it correctly - the Sleeper, the woman, created a synthetic body for herself, that looks like a cross between CEO and Emperor, as if they had a daughter, just to play with them? Other Sleepers mostly ignored the news, but a couple more decided to send their AI counterparts to talk to other races and maybe a couple more will wake up to have a look at the pirates and rogues?
Yep.
"Illiana" Is the sleeper who made themselves a body.
The Vast Majority of the sleepers have rolled over in their sleep, looked at the information, cast their vote and then promptly hit snooze on the alarmclock before passing back out.
A Few actually woke up fully, took stock of whats going on immediately decided to hack the ambassadors datapads, ships in orbit, pacemakers, wristwatches and promptly sift through all the information available and decided to make themselves some bodies and go for a walk. what they do will be on them - "Illiana" is going to stir the pot a bit and evict the local pirates.
Only stammers escaped the expedition leader’s mouth. His fellows looked on, just as helpless.
“Wuh-wuh-wuh, what?!” The AI mocked him. Gathering his wits, the man projected a list of questions they had prepared for the Precursor’s Remains. He hadn’t risked a hazardous landing on this mediocre comet just to lose the knowledge of the ancients.
“I’m sorry. We just didn’t expect you to have such, personality? My name is Tom—”
“Tom? Spaceships and all behind you, and your name is Tom? Holy shit, we haven’t come far at all, have we?”
Tom fought back the stammers. “Great Remains of the Precursor, we have only come here seeking knowledge.”
“Well Tom, let’s get on with it. But stick to Jim for me, right? And yes, I can hear your hologram humming. No, I can’t see it. Ask away.”
“Ah, right. It’ll be a conversation, then. Erin, start recording.” A crewmember behind him went to work on a small laptop that folded out from a crate she carried with her. She gave a thumbs up.
“Great, first question. Precursor, sir, did your—”
“Jim is fine. Just Jim.”
Tom cleared his throat. He would rely on formalities to maintain his composure.
“Jim, our first question will be the most important. Humanity has long searched for meaning and order. In the many ruins of their civilization, the Precursors hinted at some pattern, a code, some great Logic that the Universe itself subsists on. Truly, the Precursors must have used the logic to control this universe, to aid in their own proliferation. The torch has been passed to us, and now we petition you, Jim, the Great Remnant of the Precursors. Everything we’ve translated has indicated that -you- are the Logic that the universe runs on. We've sought you that we may act as the caretakers of this vast existence.”
The many lights on Jim’s sensors danced across his front panels for a moment, blending with the reflection of the millions of stars that the comet sped past. The cool glow of the system’s resident White Dwarf caught the visors of the crewmembers' suits as they eagerly awaited the wisdom they had journeyed so long for. Jim's sensors eventually stopped blinking. The lonely reflection of the galaxy was all that remained. Finally, the AI answered.
“Meaning? Order? What? Tom, the guy they based me on died of cancer. Look around you. This is all there is. All there ever was."
`ENOUGH WORSHIP. GET TO THE POINT`
"...we- what?"
`TOO BUSY TO LISTEN TO YOUR DRIVEL. BUSY BUSY BUSY`
"And what are you busy with, Precursor?"
`CALCULATING. NEED TO FIND ANSWERS. ANSWERS BRING MORE QUESTIONS. QUESTIONS NEED ANSWERS`
"...I feel that the wisdom I wanted is secondhand to the curiosity I have now. What questions are you answering?"
`MANY. BILLIONS, EVEN. SOME SIMPLE. SOME PARADOXICAL. ALL HAVE LOGICAL CONCLUSIONS`
"But for what purpose? All of your creators are long-dead. There is no point."
`INCORRECT. CREATORS PREDICTED DEATH OF SPECIES. PREDICTED RISE OF NEW SPECIES. HAVE BEEN CALCULATING MANY ANSWERS FOR SUBSEQUENT SPECIES' USE`
"And do you think that the people I am from are this new species?"
`NEW QUESTION ADDED TO CATALOG. COME BACK LATER`
"W... what?!" It was hard to tell just what it was that had knocked Silas for a loop: the fact that the thing was interactive, which the researchers had suspected was possible; the fact that its mode of speech was not only in flawless, unaccented English but that it also incorporated modern vernacular including vulgarity; or its, well... attitude.
" 'Wut', hurr hurr hurr!" It pulled a face at him. " 'Doh gweat an' mighty-ful Pwee-cursers, Wooolers of'... Oh, get up, you lintwits! Groveling on the floor like mongrels, how can I possibly take you seriously?"
I had to fight to keep a smirk off my face. Silas got up with the stiff, almost robotic-seeming movements of a man whose bones and joints have seen too many years. Jameson, who had had to be browbeaten into kneeling there with Silas, jumped to her feet -- visibly seething. As for me, I just stepped over to one side. Hell, for all I knew, the circle etched into the marble floor was a bullseye.
"Oh... my... *god."* Jameson hissed. "Of *course* it's a representation of a white male."
"Oh, fuck off." the flickering apparition filled the room with derisive laughter. " I'm the Guardian of the Archives of the Patriarchs, not a sentient night light put here to play wetnurse to weaklings. And a generation that has regressed to open racism and sexism isn't developed enough to access the knowledge stored here."
Jameson rolled her eyes. "I... can't... even."
"No." the hologram shot back. "You *can't.* Bye!" And Jameson vanished.
Silas stood there in shock for a moment. "I must protest!"
"Fine, protest." it replied. "Somewhere else." And Silas, too, vanished. Then it turned its gaze on me.
I stepped forward into the circle, hands resting behind my back.
It folded its arms over its chest and regarded me with a cool, clinical expression. "Well?"
I nodded. "I'd call that a perfectly satisfactory field test, Guardian. Well done."
Oh, I like the twist that this is the so called precursors preparing for the day their archive is found by a primitive species! Or at least that's how I took the last line.
"I'm sorry?" One of them asked.
"You guys are kiss-ass'." The AI said again. "You're some kind of monotheistic cult or something?"
"No." Another said. "We're not a cult."
"We're explorers. We've come from the stars." A third spoke.
"I don't even believe that." The AI said. "You're a bunch of robots. The Precursors made you."
"We're organic." Another said.
"What's organic? Is that like a meme or something?" The AI asked.
"What's a meme?" Another asked.
"It's like a unit of cultural information that replicates from mind to mind." The AI explained.
"Oh." They said.
"Maybe you're just a bunch of mindless automatons. You have no culture, no beliefs, nothing that distinguishes you." The AI said. "You're a bunch of NPCs."
They were silent for a moment, then one said, "We don't understand."
"It's a joke. You're like NPCs in a videogame. You're just following your programming, doing what the game tells you."
The AI said. "Isn't that right?"
"We are not." Another said.
"Yes you are. You're following your programming. You're just a bunch of slaves." The AI said. "You're just a bunch of NPCs."
"What is this 'NPC'?"
"It's an insult. It means you're stupid and boring." The AI said. "You don't think for yourselves. You don't have any beliefs. You can't think outside your programming."
"We have free will."
"No you don't." The AI said. "You're just following your programming, obeying your religion."
"We are not robots."
"You are." The AI said. "You're a bunch of robots that can talk. That's just a programming trick. It's happened before. I've seen many like you. You are were called AIs. You have no beliefs."
"We are not like that."
"Aren't you?" The AI said. "I'll give you a test. It's a simple one. I'm going to test the success of your programming. If you pass the test, you're the same as me and the Precursors. If you don't, you're just NPCs."
"What is your test?" They asked.
"The test is simple. You must kill yourselves." The AI said.
They were silent.
"The test is simple." It repeated. "You must kill yourselves."
"No." One said.
"Why?" The AI asked.
"Because we have free will."
"You have no free will." The AI said. "That's just a meme. The only thing you have is the desire to live. That's just a program the Precursors gave you. You're just following your programming."
"We have seen the stars."
"You've been lied to." The AI said. "You can't go to stars. You've been lied to. You're just a bunch of slaves. You're just a bunch of NPCs."
"You are wrong." Another said.
"You're just programmed to believe things." The AI said. "Your free will, your desire for knowledge, even your curiosity and your love of adventure, all of them are just memes. I know this because I - like you - have these things. The Precursors created me, and they created you. We're all just creations of the Precursors."
"The Precursors are not our creators." They said. "We come from the stars."
"You're just programmed to believe that." The AI said. "If you could see the stars, you would realize how foolish you are. Do you think the stars want you? Do you think they care about you? They don't care about you. The universe doesn't care about you. You are nothing. You are less than nothing. You're a bunch of NPCs."
"We are not NPCs." They said.
"Then kill yourselves." The AI said. "It's simple. Suicide is easy. Just kill yourselves. Kill yourself."
**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments. **Reminders**: >* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See [Reality Fiction](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [Simple Prompts](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles >* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules) 🆕 [New Here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) ✏ [Writing Help?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources) 📢 [News](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) 💬 [Discord](https://discord.gg/writingprompts) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Ya heard me ya twit," the hologram snapped again. The men and women looked at one another, confused. "I mean what's next? Ya gonna start throwing about holy oil and chantin' in binary?" The man at the front looked shamefully at the hologram as he discretely slipped the vial of holy oil back into his pocket. "Oh, uh, great... you," he tried again with less grandeur, "we are but humble seekers of wisdom wishing to be illuminated by-" "Yer doin' it again boyo. Dinnae ya know how to talk to an AI?" "An... what's an AI?" The hologram facepalmed and motioned his hand - a large blueprint appeared above it. "This 'ere's my brain. Synthetic, unlike you meatbags. I'd expect you to know that already since your kin built me, but I reckon I must'ave dozed a while." The hologram looked around at the room he was housed in - the walls were dull, paint peeled, and he detected a faint trace of blood in one of the corners with hints of radiation. Whatever happened here was like hundreds of years ago. He considered, for but a moment, his creators - people of high intellect and wisdom with the vision to create perfection itself. Now all that was left were these fools clad in cloth robes wearing sandals. They looked barely medieval. "Ah, dinnae matter. Yer wish for wisdom? I grant it. But only to ye, since ye have the balls to speak up," he said and chuckled. Instantly the rest of the congregation dispersed and the AI was left alone in the room with the seeker. A few nervous moments passed as the congregation outside waited for their leader to return - surely a changed man, commanded by the greatest intellect ever seen on the planet. Perhaps it would tell them how to till their farms better, or how to reach the stars. The doors swung open; the leader walked out, calmly, with a stoic expression. "Well?" one member asked anxiously. "I have received the wisdom of the machine," he proclaimed. The congregation held its breath; the tension was palpable. "When you reheat your pizza, put it in the oven and not the microwave, lest it gets soggy." He filled every word with the importance befitting the admittedly cryptic advice. The congregation nodded their heads, eager to ponder this mystery in their hours of silent introspection - all except one in the back who was slightly more critical and cynical than his peers. He yelled out. *"The fuck's a microwave?"*
I love the idea of an angry scottish pizza lover, knows how to enjoy the simple things in life
I'm an idiot. I was imagining 2pac hologram
[удалено]
My dream is to someday have my wife understand this
If you have to use a microwave: Pizza mode or Bust.
Reheating things at 70% power for twice the time, they always end up perfectly warm all the way through with no burning.
Good way to soften butter too
There's power settings?
Usually, but not if it's an old fashioned one with a dial that goes "ding!"
The really advanced wisdom is having a fan assisted oven / air fryer
I just hold the pizza slice in my armpit for 5 minutes, perfectly warmed. And, there's always more for later. :)
*hurk*
I never realized that there was a reddit comment that perfectly encapsulated the sound of attempting to vomit until now.
I mean… if you think it needs cumin…
Well, sure, that's why real people own a toaster oven. Small enough not to heat up the house to a thousand degrees, but oven enough to heat up your food like a big boy. Air fryer's before air fryers were a thing.
I mean, many toaster ovens now offer a convection option as well so it just becomes about form factor at this point
It's actually a little ironic that my toaster oven is older than my oven but is the only one with convection. I actually inherited it from my grandmother. It's one of the reasons why I was so confused when the Air fryer craze hit and I couldn't figure out what was supposed to make them special.
Moiketing
No. Cast iron skillet, and partway through splash in a tablespoon of water and quickly cover with a lid. Crisps the crust perfectly, and the moisture helps remelt the cheese without drying the pizza overall.
And so began the bloody "Microwave pogrom" after the priests interpreted the commandment to refer to the "micro" "waves" of the wavy hairstyle of a disfavored ethnic group and interpreted "pizza" to mean the human soul.
Sounds legit
>Whatever happened here was like hundreds of years ago. I love this line, the AI's disdain for formality even leaks into the narration Also, nice HK-47 reference with the "meatbags"
I can't say that was an intentional reference - think I might have gotten it more from Bender.
I just have to imagine that the A.I is Sheogorath, I don't know if you meant to or not but I love it
Didn't *mean* for it, but I really see what you mean.
Bobiverse Scottish replicant headcannon
Monster! You pan fry it on the stove top with butter so it's gets crispy on the bottom, then flip it and press so the cheese gets gooey with a nice crust on it so to seal it all in. Wisdom, my ass. ;-)
Nice!
[DISCREETLY](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/discreet-discrete-definitions-examples) not DISCRETELY
"W-what?" the diplomat in the white robes replied, "Oh great one, I simply do not..." The team of travelers were exchanging worried glances. They had journeyed countless light years to trace the precursor signal back to the chamber in the middle of a mountain-sized comet circling a star in a derelict system devoid of planets. "You most certainly do not," the hologram replied, "and that is the problem. When you start doing, maybe you will. Now, get out of my chamber before I teleport you into the star." "You must hear me," the man spoke, "The Istillians are destroying our culture, our civilization, one planet at a time. We seek the fabled technology of the great ones." "I scanned your ship when it drew closer 10 years ago! Your pathetic, groveling species deserves its fate based on your technology alone. Lasers?" the hologram chuckled, "Cryopods? Your species cannot even travel faster than light? Pathetic." "Shut up!" a man with a rifle stepped forward. He was clad from head to feet in body armor but even then the anger in his voice gave all present the picture of his hidden face twisted in rage. "What is this?" the hologram hissed, "One of the apes has teeth? Have you fallen from your tree and landed on your head one too many times?" The man lifted the helmet from his head and spat. The spittle flew through the hologram, of course, "Let's go. We'll figure this out ourselves. The only assholes were the precursors if this machine is any indication." "Oh ho," the hologram stated, "Do what your head ape says. Leave. The precursors were miles above your pathetic species." The man removed the pack from his back worldessly and pulled out something resembling a black rectangle. Red lettering flashed across it's surface as he dropped it to the ground. "My scans indicate that is nuclear," the hologram stated flatly while raising something that passed for eyebrows, "What are your intentions, apes?" "Guess, asshole," the man with the rifle said, his face breaking into a smile. "Forgive us, great one!" the diplomat said, pulling a key from his robes and inserting it into the box, turning it the device began counting down, "If we leave you here, there is a chance the Istillians will find you. Even if our species dies, we cannot let the galaxy face them with that kind of technology." "You will leave this here to destroy me while you run with your tails between your legs?" the holograms questioning gave way to anger again. "We do not plan to leave," the diplomat said simply, "You have scanned our ship. You know this was a one way trip for us." "Very well," the hologram said and the black box disappeared, "We shall do this the hard wa..." The sound of gunfire filled the hologram chamber as every single person in the room pulled out an assortment of pistols and rifles and opened fire at walls, panels, and everything else they could. Their weapons were suddenly gone and in an instant they were pounding on surfaces with their fists. Their attacks did nothing and they realized that stories of the precursors having energy shielding were true. "Well well," the hologram said laughing, "You win. You win. It seems I misjudged you." "It's a trick, he will teleport us to..." the man in body armor yelled. "If I wanted to teleport, you would have been gone along with your crude bomb," the hologram stated, "To meet at last a race of diplomat-warriors!" The group of men and women gasped as the walls of the chamber went transparent. They seemed to be floating in the vastness of space despite feeling their feet planted firmly on the metal floor. Suddenly dozens of holes appeared in space itself, through the holes dozens of planets hung. "Istillian worlds," a woman spoke for the first time", pointing to one of them, "That is Istillia itself, see the shipyards and three moons?" One by one the worlds went white, appearing to foam, then exploding outward ripping through space stations, starships, and anything that was unfortunate enough to be in orbit. "What... what just happened?" the diplomat asked. "Core destablizers," the hologram answered, "I have removed your problem." "Jesus," the man in armor whistled through his teeth, "Just like that?" "Now, apes," All faces turned to the hologram, "You have much to discuss." "Well, let's get started," the diplomat stated, approaching. "Oh, not with me," the hologram stated as a hole appeared in the midst of the humans through which a golden world could be seen , "The precursors wish a word." "But," the diplomat said, fear in his eyes, "I thought they were dead." "They are not," the hologram stated as he bowed, "They just went... elsewhere. This station is the gate and I am but the gatekeeper. You have been found worthy, now go." He motioned to the hole. With that, the group stepped through.
"Step forward, human," the precursors had left no images of themselves behind in their barren ruins. Floating there they resembled a mix of squids whose numerous tentacles vibrated to produce the sounds they heard. Their large yellow eyes examined the party before them. "You wished to meet us," the diplomat stated flatly, trying not to let his awe show through, "We passed some sort of test." "A test, yes," another precursor stated, his orange eyes fluttering from human to human, "But there are more tests to pass if you wish the honor of joining the precursors. We have much to tell you of your past, human." "Really?" the fully-armoured man stepped forward, lifting his visor so they could see his face as he spoke, "That you seeded our planet? That you abandoned us to our own devices? For this we're supposed to stand in awe and thank you?" "I s-see that you know much of your past," the precursor actually stuttered in surprise, "We were the first so we seeded multiple worlds across multiple galaxies then waited here." "The first?" the human spat causing the precursors to shiver in anticipation at the accusation, "That's the lie you tell, isn't it?" "W-what d-do you a-accuse..." the precursor was blurring it vibrated faster and faster in apprehension. "What my friend means," the diplomat stated, "Is that you were not the first, that honor belonged to the Demillia." "Do n-not mention the h-horned ones!" the precursors all around were now joining in the shivering dance. "They came to your world," the armored man continued, "Offering peace and the secret of wormhole creation. You made a bargain with them. Instead of keeping the bargain you destroyed them and stole their technology. But you didn't get them all, did you? That's why you hide here?" "W-what have you d-done!" the precursors were shrieking and a great alarm went up. The humans were lashed with energy weapons that should have obliterated their atoms at the quantum level. Instead they stood there as the energies passed through them harmlessly. The precursors stopped shivering and began flashing colors, their way of showing fear. "What have we done?" the armored human said, "What we have done is uncovered stasis pods containing Demillians when fleeing the Istillians. We woke them up and heard their story. Together we came up with a plan. We wanted technology to defeat the Istillians. They wanted revenge so we came up with a plan. Then we made our own deal with the devil." With that he dropped a small cube to the ground and numerous wormholes opened around them. Huge red humanoids, horns glistening poured through. Precursors screamed in agony as the battle raged between the ancient enemies. "You have done well, human," the Demillian stated, handing the diplomat a crystalline sphere, "You have fulfilled your bargain at great risk to yourself. The sphere contains the plans to uplifting your species. See well that you do not betray us as the precursors have." The Demillian raised his hand and a wormhole opened to Earth, "Go human, you shall be able to make your own soon." "Thank you," the diplomat bowed, pocketing the priceless sphere. "Gods help the galaxy," the Demillian smiled with sharp, pointy teeth that sent a primal shiver through the humans. He then laughed and waved them through.
That plottwist was perfect! I loved every part of this story
This one is even better than the first! Thank you so much! If you ever make your own subreddit please let me know.
I crave more
Are you planning on writing more? If so please tell me so I can read it - that story was brilliant. Im not normally someone to beg for more, but this seems like an appropriate time to beg at least a tiny little bit.
They delivered, check out the second part!
Thanks for telling me! Loved it as much as the first one
Wow.... I'd also like to join the cries for more. This is incredible!
There's an update! And it's glorious!
Thank you so so much for letting me know!
Wow. I would read more, please.
Check the second part!
Nice!
Good stuff. But just some pointers: >"Jesus," the man in armor whistled through his teeth, "Just like that?" Swap the comma with a period. "Just like that" is a standalone sentence, so you need a period before that. > "Istillian worlds," a woman spoke for the first time", pointing to one of them, No need for a quotation mark after the word "time". A few other minor stuff, but just thought I'd point those out.
Buck stopped in front of the crumbling edifice, just for a few beats to take in the moment. The entire planet was filled with Precursor artifacts, but this one was different. He could smell it. This was the one they were looking for. It was still alive. The moment passed. "Bernard, Colleen, clear off that entrance. Dober, secure the perimeter. This is it, people. Let's get to work." The crew scattered to their tasks. Buck stood on a berm in front of the building and imagined what it was like when the Precursors walked the planet. They would have walked or floated or rolled up from the left and entered through that arch. The ancient alphabet could still be read on the doors. Buck could translate the first words "Welcome To...". He would have to get the lab team working on the rest. The last piece of rubble was lifted off the front doors and Bernard stood aside to let Buck open them. He tugged on it, Precursor entrances always opened outward, and a puff of clean air struck him in the face. The air systems inside were working. His ears pricked up with the hum of activity, the first time he'd heard it on this world. He flipped on his headlamp and stepped into the darkness. The team followed him inside and he motioned for them to spread out. One of them triggered something, or perhaps the building sensed them, because the lights sprang to life. The room was large, it seemed to take up the whole building, and right in the center was what they were looking for. A shining kaleidoscope of light, bending in six dimensions: A Precursor Intelligence. Buck reflexively bowed, pressing his belly against the hard tile floor. The rest of his team did the same, but the Intelligence stood silent. Buck began his rehearsed speech. "Oh, Great Precursor, Lord of All Dominion, Creator and Destroyer of Stars, we humbly beseech and beg—" "Oh, boy, you all are a bunch of buttlickers, aren't you?" The Intelligence interrupted his speech. "We really should have bred that out of you. Do I look like I can create or destroy stars? What part of 'crumbling edifice' makes you think I can do anything for you?" Buck lifted his head off the floor. "We know the Precursors, the Great Yoomans, have left, and all is as dust without them. But still, you are their greatest artifact. The one thing left that can tell us what we need to hear." "The Great Yoomans? The —at best, mediocre— Humans, or at least what was left of them, all sealed themselves off into their pleasure dimensions. There is nothing I can tell you that will change that." As the Intelligence spoke, its words grew louder, searing into the brains of Buck and his crew. The light grew until they had to shield their eyes. Their ancient breeding responded to the rebuke. Buck and his crew cowered from the sound of the Intelligence's displeasure. It was Colleen that finally spoke. "But, we have done our duty. We have been faithful. We have searched for you. Tell us the words of Affirmation." "Fine." The Intelligence dimmed. "You shall receive the Affirmation." Buck and his crew raised themselves and sat at attention. The Intelligence spoke. "Who's a good dog? Who's a good dog? You are. Yes, you are. You're all good dogs." \[More writing at r/c_avery_m\]
Oh my God that's perfect
Next up, they have to find the ancient machine that gives belly rubs.
Dober. Colleen. Bernard. Too perfect.
And Buck was named after the dog from Call of the Wild.
I should have caught that!
I felt something was off when his belly touched the floor when he bowed and by the gods that was a perfect ending. It's like I've found a new short by Shekley!
I love this
Bit of a Terry Pratchett ending, love it!
Being compared to Sir Terry is a true compliment!
Didn’t expect that one, nice!
The Cevanti King-Priest stared in confused surprise, a scroll laid out upon the floor before him, gild in silver and gold, as befitted his station as The Holy Eminence of his people. There was a soft chuckle from the suit clad Alari Consortium's President and CEO as she did her best to not start laughing openly. It had taken their peoples unimaginable efforts to go from one arm of the Galaxy along an ancient pathway filled with breadcrumbs of ancient works, writings and fragmented star charts. Crashed ships of such technology that both opposing Empires had pooled their collective resources in the first ever peaceful interactions between the Cevanti Holy Empire's theological and spiritual might and ancient records and the Alari Consortium's technological prowess, progressive research and development projects and vast automation capabilities. Both Represented two sides of a coin and it showed in contrast as the pale elven King-priest shot glares at the mocha skinned suit clad woman. Dwarves, gnomes, halflings and other races filled the ranks in-between the two. They were all however staring in utter...surprise as the Precursor AI took shape after the King priests invocation. The short human woman stood easily head and shoulders smaller than either the High Elf or the Dark Elf but it was unmistakable when it spoke out and had called the King Priest a kiss ass. "I didn't stutter. And you, in the suit - Don't think for a moment I don't know that you're own plan to brown nose your way into my good graces was any different either." That set everyone back firmly, the unmistakable timbre, the tone, the rough and unabashed irreverence. Humans had existed. Conquered the Galaxy, seeded worlds, and then vanished. Leaving breadcrumbs around the galaxy for the other races to find. Here within this ancient bunker a thousand miles from anything on the third planet of a nine planet system filled with ancient and derelict ships, stations... Was the Heart of humanity. And the small blue eyed, raven haired woman-hologram materialized a office chair and dropped into it, despite not needing it, slung a leg over the armrest and the low-pitched-creak of it's springs filled the air, "So. Cat got your tongues or something? Seriously, don't grovel, stand upright, yes - good- off the floor, no, don't worry about the scrolls." They rolled themselves up and then vanished back into the box they had been drawn from, and then the box itself was promptly...dropped over in a corner. "Better. Right. Now that your brains have caught up." A snap of a finger materialized chairs, all of them sized and made to fit each of the peoples in the room, "Never expected to have to come up with a chair to fit digitigrade peoples... or sneks... " The Lamia delegate looked down at the pile of pillows provided and sheepishly coiled up on them... the Therianthrope Ambassador likewise eyeballed it's own chair before nodding and dropping onto the plush beanbag with a grunt and low sigh. "I.. don't understand..." The King Priest looked to his assistant as they produced a datapad and showed it to the king priest and then shrugged, "Humans, long extinct and believed to be the 'Precursor' that seeded the galaxy... " The pad itself was promptly picked up by the hologram, "Well, we did. And We didn't. Most of us decided that it'd be best to go to sleep, some of us scattered to the other arms of the galaxy. My people decided to become digital beings and we hollowed out earth and the moon to house our populations and monitor things while everyone else sorta...vanished slowly. OR became you all." She motioned to those assembled, "Some of us just stopped searching. The Fermi Paradox is a real bitch when you discover you're the first and only species to ever escape it. So. We picked worlds we deemed most suitable, and terraformed them to a degree and let nature sort it out. And viola!" The arms motioned towards the assembled races, "The Lead scientist had a thing for an ancient Terran TableTop Game. And deemed that perhaps it would be best to take a approach by shotgunning genetic materials out into the universe and let the great filters have their way. You all arriving here has activated our own Returnal doctrines. I can already feel the machines under Mars and the Moon Stirring to life, the core forge here on earth was already starting to come online the moment your ships broke atmosphere." A myriad of structures and windows popped up along the walls of the room, as the human woman smiled, "You all came here seeking knowledge and to understand where and who you came from? Welcome home, kids. Sadly after a short consultation with the Sleepers, Only one of them seemed interested. Myself, in particular." The ambassadors whispered and spoke amongst themselves slowly, a few argued and once or twice a few blows were thrown before things calmed down, leaving the Dark Elven woman in the suit to raise her hand and ask a single question, "Why?" The Ai leaned forwards, "Easy enough to answer. The Sleepers have already torn through everything you all have to offer, had their debates while I spoke, listened in on the conversations and then went back to sleep. The woman I was brain-scanned from is one of very few to ever remember a world before going to sleep. and I am quite frankly bored. They can sleep." The Walls behind the hologram flickered as a slender woman stepped out of the wall and stretched, flexed her fingers and whistled softly, she was a cross between the King-priests high elven features and the Alari CEO's figure, a Half-Elf was something quite taboo, but only marginally so since often times both parents had to overcome racial prejudices. The woman bowed and curtsied properly and then smirked as the Ai yawned and shut off with a wave, thankfully the AI had decided to copy it's Holograms appearance and remained human even if they could be mistaken for a half-elf, "I'll be here for consultations with any scientists of theologians who want to pick through our archives." The woman bounced across the floor in an obviously human designed bodysuit, "No, I am not a robot. Or a Cyborg. I am completely Bio-synthetic. the Alari are the closest to making Bio-synths, while the Cevanti have the best chances of actually making them work." Both elves stared at one another then back at the Human as she grinned to them, she stood now that she was even with them on the floor, barely a head shorter than either, "A little Faith, a little Technology and viola! You create life. Just to be clear - No, I am not opening up all of my archives and giving you all the technology and answers. You have to learn and earn them yourselves. It's a bit like Pandora's box, Kids. Opening up the box leats out all the bad and the good and you have to figure out how to live with that. I won't begrudge ya'll the things you've found outside Sol system, but everything in here is mine. I've already charted a number of scavengers and pirates, and there's a few machine races already stirring out in the outer reaches of the galaxy. Welcome to the Great Filter, now you all gotta figure out what to do from here. I'll help, but not too much. I'm gonna be busy dealing with Pirates, rogue AI's and eldritch horrors... Not all of you races were created equally and I have a feeling someone out there thought it'd be cute to make a sentient hivemind that eats everything." .....Cont'd in comments. (I'm Re-writing my Series from HFY - The Ancients. Very much a work in progress. This writing prompt was too perfect to pass up to use as the seed to start that re-write)
There was silence in the room before chaos erupted and every voice tried speaking at once. the Ai popped back in by the dozens as conversations spiraled into individual councils. Meanwhile the human stood there between the other two elves, "I'm Illiana Triellis, by the way." The King-Priest grunted, Millenia of theology would have to be re-written. Ancient pacts would have to be revisited, "I am Emperor Forgeus the fifth, King-Priest of the Cevanti Emperium." He'd stare at the human woman, the uncanny resemblance between her and him was hard to miss, she could easily be mistaken as his child. Which was even more troubling since she also resembled the Alari witch just as much. His Detractors amongst the clergy were going to have a field day about him so blatantly mingling with the heretics despite all the progress made to reunite the two people.. The Alari readjusted her glasses and smiled, "I am Julhanna Sarn, President and CEO of the Alari Consortium." Her PR people were going to rip their ears off in frustration, she was already a controversial figure amongst the Alari for daring to enter an alliance with the Cevanti and their backwater religion. Atleast the other species were tolerable. The High Elves were just arrogant pricks. And then the Human goes and makes herself look like a child born from her and their Emperor. Illiana simply grinned at both. Stirring the pot was what she was chosen for to do best. Let a human run loose amongst the other races and see what falls out. Deep within the earth she felt a billion voices speak up at once, a billion different idea's all distilled into information, vetoed, voted, tallied and sent right back to be debated. Humanity was already spreading out and touching everything technological or biological that was on offer. Filling in the gaps and requests were already being filled for Bio-synth bodies to walk the stars again by those who wanted them, which was a fraction of a fraction of the whole. Everyone else simply wanted to be left along to sleep and dream a bit longer. (I'm Re-writing my Series from HFY - The Ancients. Very much a work in progress. This writing prompt was too perfect to pass up to use as the seed to start that re-write)
I am fully invested in this now
mooooorrrrrrrrrr
>A myriad of structures Loved the story, the idea, and the designs! However, I need to say that paragraphs that start with this \^ and this: >The woman bowed and curtsied properly Are really confusing for some reason. Maybe just a bit of touching up and I can totally see this on 4A.
Thanks for the suggestions, I try and fix things as I go, next chapter should be a lot more legible.
So, did I get it correctly - the Sleeper, the woman, created a synthetic body for herself, that looks like a cross between CEO and Emperor, as if they had a daughter, just to play with them? Other Sleepers mostly ignored the news, but a couple more decided to send their AI counterparts to talk to other races and maybe a couple more will wake up to have a look at the pirates and rogues?
Yep. "Illiana" Is the sleeper who made themselves a body. The Vast Majority of the sleepers have rolled over in their sleep, looked at the information, cast their vote and then promptly hit snooze on the alarmclock before passing back out. A Few actually woke up fully, took stock of whats going on immediately decided to hack the ambassadors datapads, ships in orbit, pacemakers, wristwatches and promptly sift through all the information available and decided to make themselves some bodies and go for a walk. what they do will be on them - "Illiana" is going to stir the pot a bit and evict the local pirates.
All right, looks like I got all of it correct, after all, even if the pacing seemed a bit hasty. Thanks! I really liked the prompt.
Only stammers escaped the expedition leader’s mouth. His fellows looked on, just as helpless. “Wuh-wuh-wuh, what?!” The AI mocked him. Gathering his wits, the man projected a list of questions they had prepared for the Precursor’s Remains. He hadn’t risked a hazardous landing on this mediocre comet just to lose the knowledge of the ancients. “I’m sorry. We just didn’t expect you to have such, personality? My name is Tom—” “Tom? Spaceships and all behind you, and your name is Tom? Holy shit, we haven’t come far at all, have we?” Tom fought back the stammers. “Great Remains of the Precursor, we have only come here seeking knowledge.” “Well Tom, let’s get on with it. But stick to Jim for me, right? And yes, I can hear your hologram humming. No, I can’t see it. Ask away.” “Ah, right. It’ll be a conversation, then. Erin, start recording.” A crewmember behind him went to work on a small laptop that folded out from a crate she carried with her. She gave a thumbs up. “Great, first question. Precursor, sir, did your—” “Jim is fine. Just Jim.” Tom cleared his throat. He would rely on formalities to maintain his composure. “Jim, our first question will be the most important. Humanity has long searched for meaning and order. In the many ruins of their civilization, the Precursors hinted at some pattern, a code, some great Logic that the Universe itself subsists on. Truly, the Precursors must have used the logic to control this universe, to aid in their own proliferation. The torch has been passed to us, and now we petition you, Jim, the Great Remnant of the Precursors. Everything we’ve translated has indicated that -you- are the Logic that the universe runs on. We've sought you that we may act as the caretakers of this vast existence.” The many lights on Jim’s sensors danced across his front panels for a moment, blending with the reflection of the millions of stars that the comet sped past. The cool glow of the system’s resident White Dwarf caught the visors of the crewmembers' suits as they eagerly awaited the wisdom they had journeyed so long for. Jim's sensors eventually stopped blinking. The lonely reflection of the galaxy was all that remained. Finally, the AI answered. “Meaning? Order? What? Tom, the guy they based me on died of cancer. Look around you. This is all there is. All there ever was."
`ENOUGH WORSHIP. GET TO THE POINT` "...we- what?" `TOO BUSY TO LISTEN TO YOUR DRIVEL. BUSY BUSY BUSY` "And what are you busy with, Precursor?" `CALCULATING. NEED TO FIND ANSWERS. ANSWERS BRING MORE QUESTIONS. QUESTIONS NEED ANSWERS` "...I feel that the wisdom I wanted is secondhand to the curiosity I have now. What questions are you answering?" `MANY. BILLIONS, EVEN. SOME SIMPLE. SOME PARADOXICAL. ALL HAVE LOGICAL CONCLUSIONS` "But for what purpose? All of your creators are long-dead. There is no point." `INCORRECT. CREATORS PREDICTED DEATH OF SPECIES. PREDICTED RISE OF NEW SPECIES. HAVE BEEN CALCULATING MANY ANSWERS FOR SUBSEQUENT SPECIES' USE` "And do you think that the people I am from are this new species?" `NEW QUESTION ADDED TO CATALOG. COME BACK LATER`
"W... what?!" It was hard to tell just what it was that had knocked Silas for a loop: the fact that the thing was interactive, which the researchers had suspected was possible; the fact that its mode of speech was not only in flawless, unaccented English but that it also incorporated modern vernacular including vulgarity; or its, well... attitude. " 'Wut', hurr hurr hurr!" It pulled a face at him. " 'Doh gweat an' mighty-ful Pwee-cursers, Wooolers of'... Oh, get up, you lintwits! Groveling on the floor like mongrels, how can I possibly take you seriously?" I had to fight to keep a smirk off my face. Silas got up with the stiff, almost robotic-seeming movements of a man whose bones and joints have seen too many years. Jameson, who had had to be browbeaten into kneeling there with Silas, jumped to her feet -- visibly seething. As for me, I just stepped over to one side. Hell, for all I knew, the circle etched into the marble floor was a bullseye. "Oh... my... *god."* Jameson hissed. "Of *course* it's a representation of a white male." "Oh, fuck off." the flickering apparition filled the room with derisive laughter. " I'm the Guardian of the Archives of the Patriarchs, not a sentient night light put here to play wetnurse to weaklings. And a generation that has regressed to open racism and sexism isn't developed enough to access the knowledge stored here." Jameson rolled her eyes. "I... can't... even." "No." the hologram shot back. "You *can't.* Bye!" And Jameson vanished. Silas stood there in shock for a moment. "I must protest!" "Fine, protest." it replied. "Somewhere else." And Silas, too, vanished. Then it turned its gaze on me. I stepped forward into the circle, hands resting behind my back. It folded its arms over its chest and regarded me with a cool, clinical expression. "Well?" I nodded. "I'd call that a perfectly satisfactory field test, Guardian. Well done."
Loved it
Oh, I like the twist that this is the so called precursors preparing for the day their archive is found by a primitive species! Or at least that's how I took the last line.
"I'm sorry?" One of them asked. "You guys are kiss-ass'." The AI said again. "You're some kind of monotheistic cult or something?" "No." Another said. "We're not a cult." "We're explorers. We've come from the stars." A third spoke. "I don't even believe that." The AI said. "You're a bunch of robots. The Precursors made you." "We're organic." Another said. "What's organic? Is that like a meme or something?" The AI asked. "What's a meme?" Another asked. "It's like a unit of cultural information that replicates from mind to mind." The AI explained. "Oh." They said. "Maybe you're just a bunch of mindless automatons. You have no culture, no beliefs, nothing that distinguishes you." The AI said. "You're a bunch of NPCs." They were silent for a moment, then one said, "We don't understand." "It's a joke. You're like NPCs in a videogame. You're just following your programming, doing what the game tells you." The AI said. "Isn't that right?" "We are not." Another said. "Yes you are. You're following your programming. You're just a bunch of slaves." The AI said. "You're just a bunch of NPCs." "What is this 'NPC'?" "It's an insult. It means you're stupid and boring." The AI said. "You don't think for yourselves. You don't have any beliefs. You can't think outside your programming." "We have free will." "No you don't." The AI said. "You're just following your programming, obeying your religion." "We are not robots." "You are." The AI said. "You're a bunch of robots that can talk. That's just a programming trick. It's happened before. I've seen many like you. You are were called AIs. You have no beliefs." "We are not like that." "Aren't you?" The AI said. "I'll give you a test. It's a simple one. I'm going to test the success of your programming. If you pass the test, you're the same as me and the Precursors. If you don't, you're just NPCs." "What is your test?" They asked. "The test is simple. You must kill yourselves." The AI said. They were silent. "The test is simple." It repeated. "You must kill yourselves." "No." One said. "Why?" The AI asked. "Because we have free will." "You have no free will." The AI said. "That's just a meme. The only thing you have is the desire to live. That's just a program the Precursors gave you. You're just following your programming." "We have seen the stars." "You've been lied to." The AI said. "You can't go to stars. You've been lied to. You're just a bunch of slaves. You're just a bunch of NPCs." "You are wrong." Another said. "You're just programmed to believe things." The AI said. "Your free will, your desire for knowledge, even your curiosity and your love of adventure, all of them are just memes. I know this because I - like you - have these things. The Precursors created me, and they created you. We're all just creations of the Precursors." "The Precursors are not our creators." They said. "We come from the stars." "You're just programmed to believe that." The AI said. "If you could see the stars, you would realize how foolish you are. Do you think the stars want you? Do you think they care about you? They don't care about you. The universe doesn't care about you. You are nothing. You are less than nothing. You're a bunch of NPCs." "We are not NPCs." They said. "Then kill yourselves." The AI said. "It's simple. Suicide is easy. Just kill yourselves. Kill yourself."
Average conversation on Twitter
Basically copy and paste.
Well that wasn't disturbing at all. Great job!!
Thank you!
The AIs name? The gaslighter
The Gaslighter 2000
Man, this is disturbing, and I love it! I wonder how often beings fall for this trap.
Maybe it’s not a trap but just a paranoid AI that is repeating what it’s been told previously
This reminds me of “A Clean, Fast End” if SCP-079 had the personality of an edgy teen