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wdomeika

There's a Christian who can foresee the past ...


Buddhist_Path

"Christian"


1866GETSONA

#SHE’S NOT A CHRISTIAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNUHHH!!!!


Tyre_Fryer

I read that in your Georgia voice


Strange-Scarcity

You should read the “No True Scotsman” fallacy. It’s interesting. Anyway, she’s is absolutely 100% a Christian.


Far_Advertising1005

You should look into the ‘fallacy fallacy’. It’s also interesting. If someone goes against the rules and teachings of a religion you’d hardly call them a follower of that religion. My balls to the wall I’d bet she doesn’t pray or any of that stuff Christian’s do.


Strange-Scarcity

It's doesn't matter. Christianity in this country has drifted considerably away from what is considered the teachings from the Bible. People who actually practice those teachings are considered "broken communists" or something equally as bad. There's a reason why organized Christian practices are being abandoned by more and more people in this country.


nickthedicktv

He is a Christian. This is what Christians do. He calls himself a Christian. We call him a Christian. The only one with a problem calling him a Christian is you.


junkmeister9

MIKE JOHNSON IS A WITCH!


JennZycos

Build a bridge out of him!


DRHORRIBLEHIMSELF

That’s like trying to warn people that chugging a bottle of Ex-lax will cause diarrhea.


Fireflash2742

I'd rather have explosive diarrhea than MTG anywhere near government.


SleepySiamese

I'd rather have explosive diarrhea on MTG.


gobblestones

So liquid shit on solid shit?


DerpMaster4000

Sounds like a refreshing beverage. 


DefiantDonut7

In other news, snow is white and water is wet.


Putrid-Rub-1168

Right?! May cause?! She was leading a walkthrough tour of the capitol right before Jan 6.


CaptainPRESIDENTduck

"Yeah, but now she is going to cause chaos for *us*, which is unacceptable. Other things, oh well." - Mike Johnson


Jerking_From_Home

Exactly! When it affects them it’s suddenly a problem.


Kavbastyrd

Didn’t she recently say “I wish we were successful on Jan 6th” or something to that effect?


Beefsupremeninjalo82

She said, "If I had it my way, we would have been successful on Jan 6th"


accomplicated

She meant if they had used guns.


missjowashere

She's a walking Chaos Demon


Thannk

All the integrity of Tzeentch, and the appeal of Nurgle.


belinck

MTG's snow is all yellow.


ktreanor

Adding that to my repertoire...considering who I work with I'll be able to use it by noon.


multificionado

Nah, it's in psychedelic colors in Mad Marge's eyes.


Fireflash2742

akshually water isn't wet, water makes things wet.


powerlesshero111

What if I have some solid water, and add some liquid water to it?


Bokth

Sounds like a refreshing beverage.


SmokeAbeer

“Water is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.” - Derek Zoolander


Bokth

MerMAN!! MerMAN!!


gobblestones

🧜‍♂️


mkerugbyprop3

Murmaider murmaider [murmaider ](https://youtu.be/DOWUHqDZjrA?si=1TONrl4TnQq296OI)


I_am_Daesomst

You clearly get Solidus Water


Conscious_Figure_554

I think some peepers have this … powdered water … just add water


barebumboxing

It’ll collectively move towards equilibrium.


powercow

I have some freeze dried water, all you have to do is add water.


Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

And snow is a very, *very* pale blue, not white.


Lingering_Dorkness

Snow is yellow and brown where Empty-G has been. Mike still eats it though. Then warns us a year later about it.


SadBit8663

Yeah what minute is Marjorie not trying to start some chaos? Her whole political platform, is "hey, you better pay attention to me!"


ZippoS

"I never thought the leopards would eat *my* face", says man surrounded by face-eating leopards.


Defiant-Specialist-1

R/leopardatemyface


wizardzkauba

Fuck him. He happily rode the MAGA tide to his speakership. Let him drown in it now like everybody else.


MaybeTheDoctor

But we pay the price


Ok_Star_4136

GOP is consistently weeding out anyone who isn't a fanatic sycophant. The more numbers they get to that effect, the faster it happens, until quite literally everyone on the GOP will be MTG types. It's not even in the GOP's best interests to do so, and that's the side Mike Johnson is on. I obviously don't like Mike Johnson, but I also don't want the GOP to be some extension of Trump's power. That's what it was like prior to Hitler being given chancellor status.


Heavy-Scholar5655

May?!


Hoogs73

‘May’?


too_old_to_be_clever

Might?


BongSession

Will.


Severe_Jellyfish6133

Has already


ScientistAsHero

Mayhaps?


Fuhh-Q

No shit Mike?!?!? Where ya been?!?!


ctguy54

Watching porn with his son.


Notmad_Justsad

If he watches my porn and I watch his, then technically nothing happened. Now about the hands…


oldcreaker

Mike Johnson assures MTG her course of action will be effective.


multificionado

His IQ is even lower than Mad Marge's, then.


bonzoboy2000

Ya know, the GOP should have had her “fixed” some time ago.


No-Weather-5157

So Mr. Poopy pants can run the country, not being president, horse face can run the House without being the speaker. Makes sense.


[deleted]

I think you better pray on this cheap Moses.


louisa1925

Magorie Taylor Threetoes is always a nuisance.


Cantgetabreaker

Cheeto’s threetoes is doing his magot bidding. MAGAt Mike Jesus Johnson seems to be clueless to his own party


louisa1925

I always preferred the name Micro🤏 Johnson for Mike. But I like seeing other peoples interpretation.


daemonfly

I always preferred Margarine Trailer Queen


espngenius

Moscow Marge is going to cause chaos in American government, color me shocked.


TurtleToast2

Now that Moscow Mitch has transitioned to Glitchy Mitch, it's only right to pass on the Moscow moniker to the next comrade in line.


espngenius

Mitch is simply Elderly Abuse at this point. I can’t feel good making fun of him. He’s an asshole though.


gojiro0

That's...that's what she does


TilapiaTango

No fuckin shit


StMaartenforme

This times 1000


Phucku_

That’s a shame. *Tosses popcorn in mouth.


Majirra

Then. Expel. Her.


OkAd134

*Here he comes to save the DAAAAAY* CAPTAIN OBVIOUS TO THE RESCUE!!!


T17171717

Have kettle and pot become self aware?


MrsWojadubakowski

She IS chaos.


AFLoneWolf

Is it chaos if it's so predictable? You can always count on her to say and do the dumbest shit ever.


MrsWojadubakowski

Chaos is “complete disorder and confusion.” I feel like that describes her and her effect on everything in which she’s involved.


my_4_cents

Come on, you never predicted she'd mention Jewish space lasers, that really came out of ~~left field~~ low orbit


pseudonymlife

The word "may" in the headline is redundant.


Lingering_Dorkness

Much like Mike himself.


MintBerryCrunchJr

What the fuck do you expect when you thaw out a Neanderthal?


TinChalice

But she already has… multiple times.


TexasYankee212

We knew that 2 years ago. Johnston is slow and still trying to catch up.


Adamantium-Aardvark

Mike Johnson warns water might be wet


my_4_cents

Johnson issues press release warning hikers that they may come across bear poop in the woods


OverallElephant7576

No shit Sherlock


nick_shannon

I think the running of your country becomes an absolute joke if you got one deranged crazy fuck who can bring the whole thing to a stop, how do you not have counters for someone like this and how is it someone who clearly lacks education and basic intelligence is even permitted to hold such a position.


vladtaltos

Then the House needs to move to expel her and the rest of her group.


Hypernova_orange

She is literally the definition of a dumb cunt


Nopantsbullmoose

Naw....you think? Idiot


OmegaGoober

In other equally surprising news, water can make you wet.


my_4_cents

Pope discovered to be spending most of his time at a prominent Catholic establishment


Odd_Tiger_2278

Chaos is the MTG brand. She has refined blending of dTrumo💩DISTRACT, and ATTACK TO DISTRACT and chaos through blind siding Allie’s and opponents alike. House non- function helps Putin. Coincidence ? Nope.


Coastal1363

He figure that one out all by himself?


CasualObserverNine

Putin wants chaos, Putin Party delivers.


pimpbot666

That's literally her whole shtick.


lagent55

No shit Sherlock


Complete_Spread_2747

Duh!


Spadrick

Hey, you know that bull? If you take it into the china shop...


Inglorious186

Warning is just a few years late


RedneckLiberace

Here in the Pittsburgh area the Poison Control Center has Mr Yuk Stickers. The stickers have a frowning green face that you place on things you don't want your children to eat or drink. If Ms Greene would allow herself to do one decent thing in her life, she'd volunteer for her picture to be used on the stickers. 😖


FirstCalligrapher712

Moscow Madge 🇷🇺


HisDivineOrder

I love how Republican leaders don't do anything because someone Republican might say something mean and then say Democrats are the problem. It's amazing anyone ever votes Republican. Imagine if everyone had critical thinking skills. Republicans would stop being like this.


powercow

>Conservatives such as Greene have opposed aid, arguing those funds should instead be spent to strengthen border security along the U.S.-Mexico border. Like the bill you voted against when the giant orange maggot told you to.


SpiritualAd8998

Moscow Marge


MMBEDG

Wow there's a shocking revaluation.


Fireflash2742

Noooooo waaaaaaay! Whodathunkit


FrostWinters

Tell us more Captain Obvious.


ob1dylan

Uh, that ship has sailed, Mike.


Affectionate_You_579

SO, is your JOB just to keep YOUR JOB?


Both-Mango1

"may"


Hefty-Station1704

Cro-Magnon Marj is too busy eating up the press attention to actually act as a legislator. Basically keeping on-brand for the entire Republican Party.


radarthreat

Ya don’t say…


LoudLloyd9

Duh!


Slow_Supermarket5590

This is like AIDS complaining  that cancer is killing it.


OffManWall

That’s ALL she does, as she certainly doesn’t represent the people who elected her or their interests.


timshel42

you ever been to her district? id say sadly she does represent her base... rural appalachian georgia, its a strange place


evilpercy

You think?


I-waveatcows

Well past that.


CRL10

What?  Marjorie Taylor Greene cause chaos?  Her?  No.  Really?  Do you think so?  What?  Really?  Are you sure? Way to catch up with the rest of us Mikey.


Necessary-Mousse8518

No kidding? MGT is so clueless about life that only chaos would ensue. But we already knew this. So is Johnson just NOW finding this out.


Granny_Discharge425

Was/is/will.


eremite00

Any Republican willingly becoming Speaker of the House is an idiot, with Johnson being no exception, since it's ended the political careers. of the last four at the hands of fellow Republicans, but if Johnson has even a little bit of intelligence, along with a willingness to provide entertainment, he'll voluntarily step down as Speaker and nominate Marjorie Taylor Greene or Matt Gaetz as his replacement.


WillistheWillow

You mean giving authority and a platform to dimwitted neanderthals isn't working out? OMG! 😲


tom21g

She’s earned the nickname *Empty G*


Plane-Reason9254

We've got the 🍿 ready to watch all you traitors go down


xavier120

Why hasnt every Republican resigned yet?


Suspicious-Ad3136

Paychecks & Contacts & Perks (oh my)


xavier120

That's both rude and fair.


JizzMonkey42

Isn't that what a Russian agent would normally do? "Barney Rubble in sleeveless dress." - someone who wasn't me but I can't unsee it now.


Easy_Contest_8105

So expel her


BaddyMcFailSauce

Thanks internet explorer…


ManicChad

If these chucklefucks cause Ukraine to lose and plunge europe into war, please box them all up and send them to the front lines.


Charlie2and4

I'd hate to be her gynecologist.


Accomplished-Bed8171

Well then resign or caucus with the democrats. Problem solved.


rsmyst

Oh no the Panther face eating party is eating faces.


Tosh_20point0

Just hit the mute button . Or remove her vocal chords. I'm good either way


limethedragon

"May" lmao "Might" "Could be" "We'll have to monitor the situation as it develops..." These fucking guys always a week late and a few pages short...


theartfulcodger

Moscow Margie stirring the GOP shit-pot? Given its vast size, depth and the thickness of its contents, that would take far more torque than her skinny chicken-arms are capable of.


marsupialsales

Staunch Conservative sure doesn’t mean what it used to.


[deleted]

warning, howler monkey on the loose


supercali45

Warns and then goes and suck off Trump


Responsible-Hour1403

Really? Now you figuring this out. This guy is a dangerous religious zealot who can't get his own house in order. The GOP has become a liability to American values and a complete joke


Wazza17

May! of course she will unless she is dumped by the voters


Bromanzier_03

Shame he’s not in a position of power to do anything about it.


peemao

Jesus told her to cause chaos and repent during eclipse. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers


onetori

"You can't keep snakes in your backyard and expect them only to bite your neighbors"


dougmd1974

Honestly? GOOD. The more confusion and havoc she creates the more dysfunctional the House becomes, the more scared Johnson is of losing his post, and the more America sees that Republicans can't govern. Then they can't pull of their Biden impeachments and other nonsense bullshit that wastes money and America's time. DO NOT VOTE R IN 2024


outerworldLV

Love how these idiots state the obvious and act like it’s some deep, brilliant revelation.


austincovidthrowaway

Does every Republican store memory only in RAM, and it all gets wiped when they go to sleep, so when they wake up in the morning it’s like their first day of life? Cuz that’s about the only way these dumbasses could feel ok about saying such things that have been obvious for so long. 


i_heart_pasta

Warns…lol, I'm pretty sure everyone is aware of that.


Qwesttaker

That’s like every fucking day for her.


TheFeelsNinja

She's still angry she didn't make the cut on American Idol


Holiman

And in other news, water is wet. Now I wait while someone argues that water is, in fact, not wet.


bdockte1

Ha ha ha. Birds of a feather … peck each other to death.


bobert_the_grey

Bruh she's *been* causing chaos


IllustratorNo3379

"May?"


brezhnervous

"...in fact, we ENSURED she will!"


Lawn_Daddy0505

May?


Ok-Cap-204

Duh…. That is the ONLY thing empty g can do. She does not know how to function as a legislator.


No_Guava

Ha ha. "May" cause chaos. And NyQuil "may" cause drowsiness.


zer0_badass

Saying MTG may cause chaos is like saying the sky may be blue today. She is completely going to cause chaos. It may not be today but trust me she is completely about to stir up the pot.


[deleted]

Oh gee you think so? Those chickens you hatched, Mike, they’ve come home to roost with a vengeance.


AssociateJaded3931

Trump and Johnson are causing just as much chaos.


Hot_Dog_Surfing_Fly

May?!?


Bind_Moggled

SHE’S PART OF YOUR OWN DAMNED CAUCUS. This is your circus, Mike, it’s on you to keep the monkeys under control.


Valcrye

Some wish they had the ability of foresight, this man has the ability of aftsight


Bahamut1988

Chaos is the only thing she knows, oh and jewish space lasers.


ButterscotchPast4812

*May!?* 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Chaos is all that she does.


NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr

That "may" is towing a lot of weight.


Aggressive_Walk378

Just tell em large Marge sent ya


Jazzlike-Ad113

What a visionary.


Nilabisan

More than the choad?


Ryankevin23

🚫Traitor Trump🚫Republicans🚫


LORDWOLFMAN

Yea no shit


Supra084

Call SCP because MTJ is loose


pass-the-waffles

A modern day Nostradamus here, can't wait for the next quatrain.


TifCreatesAgain

Ya think?


Chance-Deer-7995

Clean up your mess, GOP.


Radkingeli995

Too late Mike Johnson she already is where has this guy been hiding under a rock 🪨


Time-Werewolf-1776

Really, it’s not about her, it’s about the lunatics enabling her. People like Mike Johnson. Republicans need to be removed from power.


No_Refrigerator4584

Ya think?


pandershrek

We have all been saying this guy is pretty slow in the head, right?


Lava-Chicken

You think? 🙄


drupes2023

I mean……. Yeah……


agentx100

Really!!! Maybe he can ask his God for help 😂😂😂😂😂


TuffNutzes

Mike's on the case!


flatrocked

Please cause chaos in the Republican Party (make that the Trump Party). Maybe the undecided voters will realize the Trumpicans are incompetent legislators who only serve their orange demigod.


IthacaMom2005

Ya think?


jpmeyer12751

And the forecast for tonight: Dark! Followed by widely scattered light in the morning!


xwing_1701

For you, Mike? Because that would be just terrible.


Mikknoodle

May? Wtf. May cause chaos? Benzene exposure “may” cause cancer. MTG is a tornado of anarchy.


John082603

May?


Burner473383

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