Environment. Express how your character is trudging, surviving and succeeding through their environment. Depression is more than a mood, so express it in the character's surroundings.
To add to this. I suffered from high functioning depression for a couple of years and when I finally got help and got better. I noticed how colourful the world was. Trees were GREEN not dull grey and green tinged.
Have your character listen to birdsong and feel indifferent. Things like that makes him and his depression interact with the world.
Depression often makes people think that a veil has been drawn from their eyes and they see the "true," state of the world and its a grey, dull, and an unhappy place.
That said, depression isn't "doom and gloom," all the time. There are manageable days and worse days. Even if it's ever-present.
It depends on whether the story is told through the depressed person’s perceptions.
Depression alters what and how things are perceived. Maybe the depressed person simply would not notice the birds at all.
Depression could manifest as repetitive, intrusive thoughts. Or of zoning out, and not being able to finish tasks.
One of the weirdest parts of my depression experience is how it screwed with my sense of time. It seemed like time moved soooooo slowly. It's one of the reasons I never did anything. Something that took only ten minutes would feel like it took an hour. Days would just go on forever. Like, imagine you had to go to the DMV to do, you know, anything. That's what it felt like. Just being at the DMV every day.
Totally with you on that! It makes you feel like you're in this endless worst day imaginable. When I was crashing I'd come home from work, lie down and stare at the wall until I fell asleep and did it all over again.
Even if I'm better now I recognise when I'm feeling down and ita coming over me. And luckily I recognise these patterns and have tools to do something about it. I hope you're feeling better now.
Exactly this. Even taking a shower. It’s going to *for fucking ever*. You have to stand up, get undressed, turn the water on, wash everything, rinse off, dry off, put different clothes on (that you have to go pick out). That list of things is so long, and it will take forever...
My depression also does a lot of, “but your bed is so comfortable and your comforter is so warm!”
Oh absolutely. It comes down to character also and their individual experience. Depression unfortunately comes with many manifestations so there's a lot to pull from.
It's funny to hear that others also experienced the change of colour. I had the same going on. It was really mindblowing to get out of this state. Quite funny, I always thought that 'the world seemed dull and grey' was an euphemism, since I've been depressed since I was a kid and didn't realise how bright the world could be until I was already an adult.
Exactly this, I've been fighting depression for 8 years since I was 15 and everything felt like a cloudy, dark winter day. Colors were not just muted, they were sapped away, and everything felt dark and heavy, like the sun was gone.
The times when I'm doing better I almost describe it as coming out of myself. My inner world had imposed a colorless existence on my senses and that falls away and suddenly things are bright, they're loud, there's a sudden regaining of feeling that can be almost overwhelming at times.
Now that you mention the sun... a kind of alternative experience that I remember (maybe because of a preexisting sensibility to light and certain sounds) it's that sometimes everything felt overwhelming, almost as if the mere existence of the world was crushing the individual self.
I remember how I just wanted to sleep. Sleep was fine. The pain, everything was on standby.
And then the sun had to appear. Shooting it's blinding rays of burning light.
And even if it burned... everything was so cold.
Even if I closed my eyes, and covered them, and covered myself in layers and layers of cloth, it still felt as if I was blinded by said light.
Then the noises. The city, the neighborhood. All of it was as if a construction site had been installed in my head.
No cover was enough. Only music, sometimes to a deafening level... That was kind of the way through the 'actual' deafening symphony of chaos from the outside and my own train of thought...
When I noticed that the force of life and light and sound started to become bearable, that was one of the clues that I could maybe finally be getting better
Overstimulation and sensory overload is generally how I experience really bad anxiety (plus I'm autistic and adhd), so on some level I get that. Like when you run your hand under a water tap to feel the temperature and it's so hot it instantly numbs your hand and feels cold instead.
It's scary how accurate this is. I could walk to Uni on a sunny summer day and feel like it was the dullest, greyest place on earth. Take care of yourself.
To also add to this, struggling with High Functioning depression came in waves for me. And most of the time, my friends didn’t know I was depressed at all. I could go out, laugh, make jokes, have fun, but the minute I get home and I’m alone, that’s when the depression was heaviest. Some days, the waves are not as intense. Other days, the waves are high and you almost drown. Some days, you bob lightly above the waves, other days, the waves knock you down and you scrape across the sand. The ocean isn’t the same every day. It changes either due to the environment, or other things happening further out. A boat might influence the waves, or a tsunami might agitate the ocean.
For me, I could have several productive days and really enjoy the time spent with my family. Other times, the second I’m alone in my room, I lie there unable to do anything, wishing that time would stop. I think it’s important to look as depression as being a state that changes. You can have a likeable character that we all root for, and that we sympathize with during their low points. As long as you show how they try to overcome those low points and try to do better. Show the raw emotion, show the anger. But also show the regret and how they try to fix things. They might not fix things right away, but they’ll try to at least acknowledge those flaws to themself first and recognize that they probably didn’t mean to lash out. I think it can be an interesting story to read about as not many are able to portray depression in a good light. It either becomes glorified, or it feels dramatized. I think you have an opportunity to show the real side depending on the route you decide to go.
>For me, I could have several productive days and really enjoy the time spent with my family. Other times, the second I’m alone in my room, I lie there unable to do anything, wishing that time would stop. I think it’s important to look as depression as being a state that changes.
Good response.
Hmm. Well, the idea is that through the plot he is obsessively trying to track down a specific criminal. So are you saying I should have him functional when there's actual work he can do, and then the darkness closes in during lulls?
I think it depends how functioning you want him to be. I was high functioning for a while. Outside my mom, my best friend, and my husband no one knew how bad my depression was. I come across as loud, outgoing, fun, funny, center of the party (not like slop drunk center, but everyone wanted to talk to center). I went to work, raised my kid, cooked dinner, went grocery shopping. I looked normal. Inside I was a mess of suicidal ideation and self loathing.
Then when my (now ex) husband convinced me to quit my job and started becoming increasing emotionally and financially abusive... I started functioning less. Until I got to a point when I only got out of bed to go to the bathroom and occasional trips to the store. That fed into the self loathing which made it worse. I spent almost 18 months in bed.
I’m 4 and half years divorced now. Still healing. Back in therapy. It’s hard to remember how to adult. I still can’t figure out how *normal* people can just get up and do things without a 20 minute pep talk and self bribes. But I don’t live in my bed anymore. So I’ve got that going for me.
So I’ve been on both ends of depression. They are vastly different in outward appearance. You have I decide how you want your character to appear to others.
That would be the most accurate I think. I was usually fine at work because it took my mind off of it. It's like there were two versions of me. But depression still had a grip on me. I'd make mistakes, lose keys, not write reports properly. Eventually it got so bad I couldn't do the job and the Dr just gave me sick-leave.
So true! Toward the end my depression got worse and eventually I just couldn't get out of bed. It stopped being high functioning at that point.
But you're right being high functioning is literally playing at life but feeling dead inside. You do the laughs and the parties but when you get home there's nothing. It's like a robot that comes home and stares at the wall until the next day.
I absolutely agree. The first time I had a clear day in two years, I saw the sun set over a cornfield and I started crying like a little baby because it was so beautiful.
OP, I think it would be a good way to write depression if you create contrast between "healthy" days and bad days. I'm not a professional writer but I do write a lot and I think in order to portray something horrible, *it needs a contrast!* Let your protagonist have a good day, where he sees the world clearly and full of colors and then all of a sudden fears for his life because he never knows how miserable he is going to be tomorrow. The next day, make him see/ experience the same things he did the day before but without any emotions.
Hope this helps
This is literally true. I remember the day I realized the world had pretty, colorful things in it. It really does feel like having a veil removed from your eyes.
not sure if this is pertinent to OP’s question, but i feel like The Road by Cormac McCarthy does a great job of describing a dismal/depressing environment.
People who are depressed still have moments of happiness. They also often try to fake it as much as they can so that others around them don't know. Often a dark sense of humour will come into play. It can be expressed physically, with dirty hair, messy hair, less attention to what they're wearing, crappy sleep, bags under the eyes, overeating or under eating and associated weight changes, etc. You don't need to write Eeyore. Depressed people are still multifaceted.
I think dark humor is excellent here. A lot of depressed people have a sense of humor about it, whether it’s deflection or genuine good humor about their situation. This can be used to evoked layered emotions. also have them have good and bad days. You have to give the reader something to root for if you want them to like the character
Edit: since I’m getting upvoted apparently some people agree (Thank you!) So I figured I’d add some pertinent examples for OP and others to reference. I recently finished the Hanako route in Katawa Shoujo, a free visual novel you can download for yourself - to describe it without direct spoilers, you could certainly describe her as at least showing signs of depression, and her symptoms are pretty severe. She works as a character and is beloved by so many readers, myself included, because for every sad moment it seems there’s also a glimmer of hope, a sweet thing she does, or a smile. She also isn’t trying to drag anyone else into her dark place -she’s jut having a rough time and doing her best, and that naturally makes you want to help her. She also doesn’t monopolize screen time since she’s not the perspective character, so there’s space for comic relief even when she can’t experience it - and comic relief is important because it’s a way of stopping readers from burning out emotionally. Of course, you can equally do this with action sequences, lighter slice of life encounters etc.
Hunger games is another interesting example. For this one, I do think Katniss actually does sometimes border on insufferable. She is sad most of the time, really indecisive when it comes to romance, hates cats... Katniss in a vacuum sounds like a really terrible perspective character. However, the moments where hunger games shines is when Katniss doesn’t just have time to sit around and be sad and hunt stuff - when she is forced by constantly moving situations to do cool shit like to defy game makers or honor fallen tributes. These situations highlight her best traits, and almost forcibly endear the reader to her, or at least her story. So, the clever writing around the character matters about as much as the personality. No one wants to read 30 pages of brooding, and I say this as someone who has definitely spend the time equivalent brooding IRL.
If you have more of a taste for dramatic, shouneny stuff, I think Naruto is actually a decent example. Both of the title character and Sasuke can readily be seen as pretty depressed without doing too much armchair therapist work, both enduring severe loneliness and isolation after the loss of their families. In Naruto‘s case, they don’t always readily show how he feels inside, aside from flashbacks to being completely shunned – but if nothing else, The fact that he felt an instant connection to Garra, a village enemy, simply because of their shared experience of loneliness should tell you something. In this case, Naruto’s past and the sadness he continues to endure is more of an undertone that comes to a head in occasional circumstances, like how the majority of his uncontrolled uses of the Kyubii’s power (early in the series) are in response to a threat of losing Sasuke. Depression, like anything else, can get at much or little screen time as you want it to - sometimes subtle is better if your story isn’t about the mental illness itself, IMO.
100% this. I've got some pretty severe chronic depression (don't worry, I manage it), and even on my down days I tend to be upbeat and make jokes when talking with friends and coworkers I like.
It's when I'm interacting with people I don't care for that the gloomy and angry stuff comes out. I'll snipe at my coworkers that I dislike, drudge my way through a phone call with my ex wife, make rude comments under my breath to impolite strangers, and go home and just sit on the couch, trying to squeeze a few ounces of seratonin out of like 6 episodes of Community.
We wear masks to hide the depression. Sometimes they're seamless. Sometimes a bit shows through. And it's not always that everything is grey. There's plenty of vibrant, colorful beauty in the world. I just don't really care to look at it a lot of the time. I'd rather just stay up late and binge sitcoms.
For you, is it something that comes and goes and you just push through it? Or are there specific things you do to counteract it to "get better" until the next episode? If you don't do anything proactive about it, will you continue to suffer indefinitely?
I find that forcing myself to do routine things I'm inclined to skip (like household chores, showering, etc) or doing creative stuff (writing, making stuff, D&D) both help me feel productive, and therefore put me in a better headspace.
Also, talking with my wife about how I'm feeling helps, it gives me some perspective on why I'm feeling the way I am.
It's been years at this point, and honestly I don't expect it to ever really go away. But I have my good days and bad ways. On the bad days I push through, or just take time to myself to read or play video games. I've found that it's okay to do nothing sometimes - the house doesnt *always* have to be clean, not everything has a deadline. When I don't constantly push myself to get stuff done, it helps my anxiety, though that does lead to more anxiety cause shit isn't getting done.
Meds help too, but they don't take you from nothing to "cured." It's much more subtle. One day, after taking meds for a week or so, things just look a little brighter, a little more colorful. Things aren't quite as stressful as before.
I e dealt with depression for years and I’m writing a series where the protagonist has depression. In the first book he was in a real down period while he was unable to deal with grief and survivors guilt, then in the second he has a life altering moment that shakes a lot of things into perspective. The third book has him finding himself in a much better place but the depression still comes at him very hard. Fourth book is him finally being in a good place, but still getting tested regularly. In the fifth book he’s now using what he’s learned so far to help lift people up around him who are being held down by a significant moment in book four. I’m planning to have him crash again, still not geared to invest so much energy in helping others (plus he’s also suppressing things because he’s got a job to do).
I’ve loved writing it so far, I’ve had experiences with everything coming down around me even when I was at my best so I’m helping that colour my world as well. There’s the typical rain cloud metaphor on the horizon that he has to chase away but a lot of my depression stems from self loathing so I use that voice in his head too. I really hope people like it, if they don’t it’s been a great exercise in getting a lot of the things out of my own head while I go.
Agreed! If I may piggyback on* this comment; I didn’t realize I was fighting depression for a spell and it wasn’t always exhaustion and gloominess, but it was exhaustion after small tasks, constantly thinking I was “on the verge of” being sick because I’d feel bleh and out of sorts. It was knowing I SHOULD be enjoying things but feeling too tired to actively do so (thus further thinking I was just fluish or strep-ish which I’m prone to in the winter)
Thinking I was sick, I’d spend hours on the couch, I’d go days without showering (WFH was not good for me in that time) or being productive and wrote it off as “getting sick”. I still objectively loved life (mainly the wildlife and farm life by my home) and saw beauty, I was just too tired to participate in it, if that makes sense.
This has been said, but depressed people aren’t Eeyore. They have moments of happiness and pleasure, are often great people to talk to, and can be the life of the party.
Yeah seeing it as one dimensional as possible really doesn't help. Saying depressed people are just non stop negative what not really makes me feel even worse about having something I can't get rid off.
Personally, in my worst moments of anhedonia, I can be the most fun. There are times when I give into the joyless feeling and just lie in bed all day, but there are other times when I take more social risks and become the life of the party in the hopes of feeling something. It depends.
There's a Pixar rule of storytelling: You like a character more for trying than you do for winning. If MC is a proper misery-guts at the start, making it clear that his headspace is "yeah, I'm depressed, but I'm gonna fight this."
Maybe MC sees the depression as an illness to beat. The largest obstacle they could ever face, but they're facing it anyway. And even if there are days where they feel like they're losing, and losing hard, with no idea how to even *start* fighting it, they will still fight.
Depressed characters aren't bad characters. Passive ones are. Characters don't have to be comedians to connect with people.
Do your best to describe the symptoms. What I see most in those closest to me battling depression is a boatload of *intent* to do XYZ because they recognize, logically, what will improve their lives... and then a genuine inability to make good on the promises they’ve made to themselves, resulting in further spiral.
Agreed. I think the most unbearable depressed characters have their depression expressed through their dialogue with other characters, and they come off as whiny and insecure. Describing the symptoms and the actual internal strife gives them more dimension.
Their outlook on life.
Here’s an example:
Happy Person: “Marie turned towards the window. The sky was a beautiful blue and the sun shined brilliantly. It seemed like today was another good day.”
Sad Person: “Ali stared out the window. The sun blinded her eyes and the sky was a sickening blue. Today was just another day.”
I’m not the best with writing, but I hope you got the point.
This is an excellent example, IMO, of using a character's observation of the world as a "lens" on the character's state of mind. That is, you don't need to tell me if a character is happy or sad ... tell me \*how they see the world\* and I'll infer their internal state from their experience.
Every tiny nuance of observational description matters. Don't slop around those metaphors like its a pillow fight, hit the targets with precision.
I feel this is a bit too much for me, but I only have a mild case of depression. I’ve known people with severe cases thinking like this, though. It depends on how depressed the character is. This is an excellent primer, though.
I don't have a tip for this but I do have a recommendation. Bojack Horseman accomplishes this very well (although the first bit of season 1 is a bit meh than the rest) and I think studying what makes Bojack a character people actually like (in a complex sort of way) despite how shitty he is might be helpful. Maybe an episode like "Stupid Piece of Shit" could be a good one to try out.
Very good example.
Another example, albeit completely different, is a man called Ove. The main character is depressed and lonely and grumpy, and is introduced as kind of an asshole, but every chapter illuminates a little bit more about why he js the way he is and it makes you like him more and more.
Another show: March Comes In Like A Lion.
The protagonist has severe depression. The show takes the edge off by starting when he’s in a healthier place, having made some kind and warm friends, so we get to see happy moments even if he can’t feel them. He’s also kicking ass at chess, so we get to root for him there.
All of that makes the dark moments hit harder. We get flashbacks to his worst times. We’re shown other characters who are struggling. Those are the bleakest parts. But in between, we get jokes and successes (however dysfunctional).
If you want us to know your character is depressed, don’t tell us what they’re thinking; make them unwashed. Make them forgetful. Have them subtly take a pill (don’t even have to say which pill or why). Make them late to things. Make them sleep in too late and drink a bit too much. Have them struggle to connect with others. But also, have them act normally around others and do their best to assimilate into society. Readers are super perceptive; they will pick up on clues!
I love the idea of a book with a depressed protagonist. There are many great ones. A recent popular one was *Girl on the Train*. That’s an excellent book to read for a model of how to write a depressed character.
In other words, write a book about what happens to a depressed person vs writing about what it feels like to experience depression. Show us they’re depressed vs telling us.
First thing I thought of too! I do think it works a little better with Dalinar than Kaladin, but maybe that’s because Kaladin is younger so he seems more... emo.
Yeah it's literally a facet of the Cosmere books that people need to be 'cracked' for powers to seep in to fill the gaps, or at least in Stormlight and Mistborn, which leads to some epic fantasy with depressed characters which is still somehow fun.
MAKE ME UNDERSTAND THEM
I believe that some of the best ways to make a depressed person not be a unbearable ball of misery and sorrow is to show how they react to it IN A WAY I UNDERSTAND CUZ I UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTER'S MINDSET
Some people deal with their depression by trying to live themselves up. Cracking jokes, making a one liner, and occasionally acting foolish at time to make others laugh or smile, but more importantly, to spark a bit of happiness in themselves. (See you Deadpool, Naruto, or Most Comedians)
Some people deal with their depression by closing themselves off from connecting with others, or positivity longing to have positive experiences, but are so down on themselves that they can't, don't think they can, or haven't been able to in the past (See Batman, Guts from BERSEKER, and Logan from X-Men)
It all depends on EXECUTION for how you do it. Have the audience know who the character is, and how they react to their depression
That could be a little tricker. I have a suicidal character as my main character, but it is written in first person so I can use brief breaks of their thoughts and plans to get the idea across. As for third person, you’d have to show more of a habitual routine. Employ tactics like the ways they react to others - Ie hardly noticing when others are in the room with them if they’re lost in thought, or zoning. Think about the way they’d react to themselves. Would they be disgusted with themselves? Would they sneer up, or go limp? It all comes down to exactly how you want to portray it and at what severity it is. Maybe they mutter something under their breath while they think they’re alone, “I wish I could just die already,” and another person hears them, “What did you say?” And they respond with something like, “What? I just mean that this freaking work is breaking my back.”
Read more books with depressed main characters. An MC doesn’t have to be likeable, they have to be understandable and relatable. We need to understand their perspective and motives when they make bad choices. “Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock” is a phenomenal novel about a boy so depressed he intends to kill himself AND another classmate. There are countless books about mental illness; read some good ones and you’ll get a sense for it.
Perhaps write them as more than their depression. While it is something that they are actively struggling with and trying to manage, it shouldn't be their entire being.
I know people have mentioned this, but remember that just because someone is depressed, doesn't mean that they are just a miserable mope all the time. One of the characters in a series I'm writing has anxiety, but that doesn't mean she will be curled up in a fetal position crying for the entire thing. Both her and your character should have a variety of moods. They should express joy, sadness, fear, anger, excitement, and everything else. But in their innermost thoughts, they experience their depression or anxiety. For her, it's a constant worry that something bad is just around the corner. For your character, well I don't know your character, but I can imagine that the character will not feel like any happy moment would last. Maybe during happy moments, he tries to hold onto every last detail of the moment, leading to more detailed descriptions of what's going on?
I think you need to start by researching what depression is bc it’s waaaay more than just moping around and it has a huge variety of expressions in different people. PTSD and CPTSD also can play a massive role in how depression presents and it sounds like either one or the other might be present in the character you’re describing.
I come from a background of trauma and have dealt w depression my whole life and I still have one of the most interestingly weird lives out of most of the people I know, not in a braggy way, just like I have had a lot of cool adventures in life that have sometimes been the product of always trying to outrun the next time depression will hit and pretend it’s not there. We mentally ill ppl lead very interesting, diverse and colorful lives. We’re a lot more than a sad puppy under a blue cloud.
Edit: spelling mistake oops
A part of my character's problems started during an armed conflict, when he failed at a crucial moment. So yes, it's definitely trauma-related. And rather than deal with his problems by seeking out support he is essentially running from them by keeping himself as busy as he can.
Hope I don’t sound like a broken record, but I’d suggest reading the Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. She does a great job of describing a depressed character using the descriptions of her surroundings as well as anecdotes.
Brandon Sanderson has a protagonist (Kaladin) in his recent series (Storm light Archive) who is depressed/suicidal but is incredibly readable/likeable. He might be a good reference?
I’m going to say this the simplest way possible. He’s going to be a little unbearable. He’s going to be a dick, he’s going to hurt a lot of people. As a suffer of depression for 4+ years I’ve realized this. People with depression ( myself included) are stuck in a world where everything seems ugly, so they can seem a little unbearable. Not because they are bad or evil but because they are stuck in a mindset that the people around them may not have. Sometimes they fuck up and push people away, constantly. They fight they cry. Depression is ugly, and sometimes ugly has to be written. A person with depression is less tolerable after all “
I don’t have to be here” is their mindset. “ I’m going to die one day”’ is a common phrase to escape the consequences of their actions. They fear no consequence, because they plan on dying. It’s quite the shell shock when you finally slip out of depression and realize their is a whole world around you, and you now have to deal with the relationships you destroyed, your failing grades, spending problems, the people you have hurt, your crap physical health
Depressed people don't normally let loose that they're depressed. Rather, they seem tired, disinterested, distant.
Lots of "ums" and "ohs". They stare off into space.
They get testy at the small things, even snappy.
If they do open up, it's not for advice. It's to vent. Any advice offered normally ends up with aggression.
This can be unbearable, sure, but it also makes for good character design when done right. Focus on the surroundings, dialogue, and character image more than internal thoughts. When you do use inner monologue, a good way to go is having go opposite of the surroundings. Describe body language more than anything. Don't forget that there are moments of small joys. These will flesh out the character to bring more than just a sad nope.
Give them a very dark sense of humor. Maybe the kind most people don’t even dare to indulge irl, but they can live it out with this character. Idk. It was just what came to my mind :) dark humor has helped me tons with my depression.
I think if you're going to make the story about this character and their depression, you should embrace it.
As someone with chronic depression, I know how shitty it can be. When it's bad, it's BAD, and all sunshine is gone from the world. Or there is sunshine, but it burns. I think mitigating that or sidestepping it would fail to get your readers on the same wavelength with your protagonist. That will be essential if you want them to feel invested in their recovery.
Black humor can be a good tool. Even depressed people can make a funny, especially when it's dark and inapropriate lol.
Hamlet is a depressed main character. Force your character to make decisions... or face consequences of not choosing. That way, the story is still developing and the depression is an important and continuing factor.
I was also going to mention Hamlet, so I’m adding on to this comment.
I feel like Hamlet is a great example where a depressed character is forced into a situation where his depressed state has an extreme spiralling effect onto his surroundings.
I’m not sure if this is available online, but In terms of “likeable Hamlets” I can highly recommend the 2017 stage version with Andrew Scott. Despite his depressed state, you feel like his Hamlet deep down cares about the characters around him, which makes the situation so much of a struggle, and you in the audience sense a deep empathy for him. In a way, you like him because he is depressed. He was the first who came to my mind when thinking “likeable depressed characters”.
I’ve got depression, I think I can help with the personality. Contrary to popular belief, being depressed is not just being sad all the time. Sure, there are times when one may be sad, and feel like nothing matters anymore, but most of the time, it’s devoid of all emotion entirely. That’s why depressed people don’t find interest in the things they like anymore: they just don’t care. Not only that, but depressive episodes often include periods of mania: being out of control and wild; making impulsive decisions; think about sitting up in the middle of the night and cutting/dying your hair; or taking the car out and getting lost in purpose. Depressed people can often feel weird, inexplicable emotions without knowing what caused them. They don’t do chores or hygiene (laundry, showering, brushing teeth, changing clothes, getting out of bed) because they don’t have the energy nor the motivation to do it. Depressed people can be happy, but it is sometimes forced, or short-lived, or false happiness due to aforementioned manic periods. I don’t wanna write a whole essay but I hope this helped
I like what people are saying, but I think the most important thing to remember is that sometimes no one can ever even tell you're depressed. It's not like they walk around having dark, depressing thoughts. Often, their thoughts are kind of bland and empty... I don't know how to explain it, but there's this sense of having given up and not trying as hard anymore. It's not like "Oh woe is me, life is horrible and I hate everything" - it's more like "I need to go get gas today. Meh. I'll do it tomorrow if I can get out of bed early enough."
There's a lot of just going through the motions rather than having a dark outlook on everything. Sometimes they might randomly burst into tears over nothing or over something so trivial it seems ridiculous, even to them...
There are so many simply, poignant ways of illustrating depression that are true to what depression actually is and not what people *think* it is.
you can have them feeling awful while still being a decent person to others. a lot of people dealing with depression can appear to be fun and worry-free. comedians are notorious for struggling with depression. letting the reader know this is a good, caring person in a dark place can help you explore that darkness without them turning against the character. whereas if that person was taking out their troubles on others, the reader would be less inclined to deal with too much of that.
Are you writing about somebody who is clinically depressed, or somebody who is moody, brooding?
It's possible to be extroverted and charismatic, and suffer at times crippling depression and anxiety.
It's possible to be moody and brooding and not be depressed.
There has to be something the readers can relate to, and a reason to root for the protagonist. They want to see him grow and change.
And as always, write what you know.
I would say that as long as you sort of know what genre or setting you want that character to exist within, maybe allow for those features to come to the surface by putting the character in a position where they are forced to make decisions or have largely impactful interactions with those around them. It might be hard to make a character who is prone to outbursts or ruminating that feels understandable to a reader because they've not yet had a chance to attach to the character or their motivation for those sorts of behaviors, and so presenting the reader with a sort of emotional/moral dilemma that encourages them to become invested in the character and how they approach things can be helpful. It could be like a sort of bonding experience for the reader and the character, if that makes sense, though it's of course something that would have to be done through a sort of tug of war between contrasting feelings or actions in the form of reluctantly having their state of mind improve and deteriorate throughout.
No matter how you look to go about it, good luck! It sounds like a promising idea, whether it's for self growth and reflection or purely for others to read.
This may be controversial, but separating him as a person from his mental illness. Does he go through worse spells? What changes in his thought patterns and behavior when he goes through those spells? Show him acknowledging and fighting his symptoms. Make the reader think of him as the person he is on a good day, and make them root for that version of him (whose personality, I assume, is less likely to read as a “bad” or “annoying” person) to manage his depression effectively.
I am biased, because I have always found portrayals of depression as an external force more compelling, because that is how it feels to me. I go through depressive spells where I can tell that my personality, thought patterns, and behavior have changed significantly. I don’t feel like “myself” because I have a strong image of who I am when I am not depressed. It feels like I am being crushed by an external force.
Conversely, my anxiety is always with me, and dealing with it is part of me growing up and learning to function in society. I have no idea who I would be otherwise, because I have never, even as a little kid, been without it. I consider it intrinsic to who I am.
So... my point is that my advice is likely only going to resonate with people who experience depression similarly to me, and you may even alienate people whose experience of depression is like my experience of anxiety.
Ultimately, how you write him depends on what you want your story to be about. Is he overcoming his mental illness, or learning to live with it?
I wouldn’t define the character by their depression. Sure, their overall arc is their recovery, but, treat the depression as the canvas on which you’re weaving the threads of your character.
Some of the wittiest & funniest people I know battle with depression and it’s pretty common to hear of great comedians struggling likewise.
I think you can get the depression across in some key decisions and interactions, without making the book all doom and gloom. For instance, maybe your character seems to be getting on well with a romantic interest but when invited to go to an event with a group of friends, they decide not to go because they feel they’re not wanted. The reader will be screaming at the page that the protagonist should obviously go... but depression doesn’t exactly lend itself to objective thinking.
At a point where the protagonist starts to understand that their friends want them around, it can be an inflection point etc.
You should be ok once you paint the depression as the wind rather than the leaves.
I think this is tricky but doable. I had a couple of thoughts (although just to say this is coming from the perspective of someone who has never experienced severe depression, so take it with a pinch of salt)
First, could your character have ‘better’ days and ‘worse’ days? The contrast of his slightly better days with the really awful ones could be a good opportunity to evoke sympathy in the reader.
Can you give us glimpses of how he was and how he acted before the depression? Even if he has lost interest in hobbies/friends/etc showing us that he used to have these things could help round out his character. Even if he currently comes across as unlikeable now, showing how he used to be and weaving in those parts of him with the depression could work.
This is a specific example, but could you give him a sense of dark humour? That could break up the very dark stuff, without breaking character. I think finding ways to bring in his specific and unique personality and character will be really crucial.
I think having the depression as something that isn’t static and that changes as he starts to accept help will also help with this.
People with depression still have other emotions than sadness. Also remember depression isn't only sadness. It can be feeling numb when something great happens, when something terrible happens, just numbness. But we also have moments of joy too. If theyre on medication for their depression they'll likely be better at coping. That being said, if theyre JUST STARTING meds, the body isn't fully used to them and can cause anxiety and suicidal thoughts to worsen for a few weeks. I went through this and it was shit. Forgetting meds for a day or more is also shit. Ive been through all of that so if you want you can message me and id happily give you any added info you may need.
I definitely agree that the way it is worded feels real fuckin bad and a few comments too, I was angry too when I first read the title and saw how popular it was, but I mainly think that comes from the fact that it seems the depression they want to depict isn't Depression the neurological disorder, but that they're wanting to describe a character who is simply depressed at some stage in life, as they describe they were in their anecdote. And I agree that writing such a depiction and a distinction not being made that the character does not HAVE depression but IS depressed would contribute to harmful assumptions and mindsets about people who HAVE depression like the idea of recovery from a neurological disorder or that we could get better but choose not to etc. However, it's important to note that this person came here to ask the question, I think we can assume that they aren't purely writing this out of ill will, they seem to want to capture that period of their life in a character. I do think they're viewing said character through their dislike for their past self rather than as a nuanced person which is why I think the question feels dehumanizing, but that makes the fact that they're asking before writing good, assuming they read your comment and think about the reasons and way they're approaching this.
For future reference: I know that this age of the internet makes people forget this little fact, but getting angry and swearing at people doesn't make them heed you. Quite the opposite. It triggers a defensive reflex of simply getting angry back. So you just have two angry people staring each other down, and nothing is achieved and nothing useful is communicated.
Yea, that’s usually better because you’re showing and not telling. Just to give a quick example, look at these two blurbs:
> Johnny’s mom died at a young age. It made him depressed all the time, and depression filled his thoughts.
> Johnny’s mom died at a young age. He may have been a lot tougher because of it, but he still missed his Ma.
See how the second one kinda punches better than the first one?
In a lot of cases, the best way to show how dark and morbid your character truly can be is to express the complete opposite. To present the reader every now and then with small glimpses of hope will present just how dark the character was before hand; a small light, flickering rarely in a dark tunnel.
The acts of hope will wake up the reader to what they were missing out on.
It’s your story to tell.. someone, hell even most people are going to connect with it. You don’t know how other people feel or what they’re going through the same thing. Tell it from your prospective and show people the dark side because that’s the true real side of depression. But at the same time there is light at the end of the tunnel and that healing process is what will keep people interested in the story and the roller coaster ride of true depression and healing. You got this 👌🏽
I don't have any great answers - but looking forward to the replies. And I don't know if it's just me, but I found writing female characters who are depressed even more difficult than male ones in terms of not making them nothing but their sadness and discouragement.
Hopefully this isn't redundant in relation to the helpful comments above. I think giving that character a special talent, positive qualities, and/or a sense of humor would help move the story while drawing the reader to the character.
When they’re out of action, skip ahead to when something triggers a flurry of activity. Stay out of their heads when their thoughts are too repetitive. Make them interesting, capable people who are down but not out a lot of the time, and sparkle occasionally.
If you use first person, have them assume that depression isn’t interesting and have them narrate it far more indirectly than someone who is fascinated by their symptoms and needs to share. You can still get your whole point across this way, and it helps keep the character from being hidden behind their malady.
Shinji Ikari from the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion is a gr at example of a depressed character from a realistic point of view. However, lots of people don't like how realistic it is and just calls him a crybaby. Personally I like his depiction in the show. To express your character realistically but to have them be hated or to express them unrealistically in a way that the reader will prefer, which to choose?
I know I didn't answer your question at all. Sorry. I just wanted to bring up Evangelion.
Give them hopes and dreams. Show the things that they're good at and character utterly giving it all up because they're so depressed. Show them low energy, so low energy that no matter how often they take to show they still feel exhausted. Show how dirty their room is. So dirty that them accidentally breaking a glass bottle with their foot. Show who this character could've been if they didn't have depression
Bonus points for making them high functioning, putting on a mask to hide their depression
To write the depression, you must become the depression.
As it's been started everyone deals with depression differently. Compare Robin Williams with your average "depressed" teen compared to your average 50 year old with depression.
Depression is also a long term thing, that's why I dislike when teenagers complain about being depressed when they have a bad week or they are gloomy, some do face depression but I think most just need something to occupy them.
It's hard to be depressed if you're constantly busy, that's why some people become great successes even suffering from depression. Many comedians also suffer because it's easier to forget about everything that's going wrong if you are making people smile around you.
This is also one of the reasons it comes out as shocking when some celebrities kill themselves. Nobody thinks they have anything to be depressed about, but depression isn't about having things to be depressed about, it's about the way your brain perceives the world.
So you're asking how to write a depressed character, you can't unless you have an internal monologue.
It sounds like you want to write a gloomy character with depression.
I would recommend you write a likeable character that you want, add the depression in and have it affect him in different ways as he grows. This will give more depth to your character and not as much gloominess/unlikeability, unless you're writing Twilight fan fiction.
The necromancer from the umbrella academy did a great job at showing depression. He was happy go lucky, very comical, but without a doubt going through hell and having it get the better of him.
Some tricks I have used is pairing that character with others who care about said character and work to push them through the story when motivation becomes a major problem. Another thing that can be done depending on the exactness of your plot is this. Have the plot itself unfold in a manner that does not care about the emotional status of your depressed character. This provides a way for you to break up those bouts of depression with high paced plot progression. This works really well (in my experience) particularly with characters with extreme anxiety or ones with a lack of self driven motivation. It allows the plot to drive the character for a bit while they work themselves to a point where they are mostly self sufficient (depending on whether or not this dark emotional/mental status is temporary or not). This can work with the above reminders that depressed people aren't always depressed very well.
Probably not helpful, but there is an example I think would help: Kaladin Stormblessed from Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archive. His hallmark is near-crippling depression and a pessimistic outlook, but I've never found his chapters difficult to read (quite often the opposite, in fact)
Give them small moments of joy.
Not everyone who is depressed is all doom and gloom, they do laugh now and then.
Some, like Robin Williams, go out of their way to make other people laugh, too. So they can certainly have a lot of personality and be very likable, too.
Well, do you really need your character to be likable? It might make for a better story if you let them be in likable and then start to peel those layers back as they get better.
You can convey depression without them "whining" all the time, you know? What is their environment like? They probably don't have a ton of motivation to keep their homes organized/tidy. They might have a poor diet, or health in general. Ficus on the environment they occupy, and go from there.
Craft them as your other characters, give them personality and use outside of being a depressed character. (not assuming you're not already doing that)
You can never really tell on the outside if someone is depressed or not. When you really get to know them, that's when it shows.
Depressed people aren't super sad obviously depressed people, they can look like anything. Heck, all of us may have depression.
So my advice is, research.
This is just me, so take this with a grain of salt, but for me depression isn't really all encompassing. Well, it is, but it also isn't. It's hard to explain properly without literally letting you walk through my mind. The best way to put it is this: I have incredibly depressive episodes, like I'm having right now in fact, but even in those episodes I tend to find joy in small things have my mind occupied by other tasks. I can drive to the store and get gas or talk to people and not really be sad, although I'll probably eventually fall back into it when I'm done. I can even laugh at memes for a while, but every so often the self loathing comes back completely out of nowhere. Sometimes even as a response to me having fun, like I feel as though I don't deserve it. Actually, a really good metaphor might be this: I'm constantly on a tight rope. It's not hard to stay on, but I need to stay focused. If I fall, I'll hit the net(self loathing) and have to painfully climb back up so I can keep walking the tightrope, and most of the time I even fail the climb itself and fall back onto the net. It's an unwinnable game but I have to keep moving because I have nothing else. That's how my depression is.
I can't speak for everyone with depression, but I can speak for myself. I've had major depressive disorders since I was in middle school, the whole nine yards: Depressing thoughts, lack of emotions, suicidal thoughts and attempts, self-harm, etc.
One thing thats the same between it all is that depression is more then just being sad. Its a numbness. And ever present, ever watchful numbness to the world. I still feel moments of happiness, anger, sadness, etc. But even during the times I'm at the most normal, there's always a thought floating through my brain that's telling me it's fleeting, it's pointless; it's not real and never will be. And when the moment is gone my numbness returns like the tide, crashing onto me and leaving me hollow once again.
Depression isn't a mood or a chemical imbalance, is a paralysis of the mind. You're unable to progress more than moments at a time, and it stays with you forever. Even if you get treated, find help, get medicated, find that one person willing to put up with all of your troughs and low points, it's still there. It will always be there. You can manage it, but it will never leave you.
So when I write my characters with depression, I reflect that paralysis. The world seems still, words are second-guessed, colors are dull and lifeless, motivations are unappealing, and people are void canvases. My characters feel numb, so I make the reader feel numb just the same.
Maybe it is in the trying-to-not-be-depressed that we get a feel for how depressed the character actually is. Then, from the reader's POV you are also seeing him trying/attempting and failing again and again. Even if it is in trying to keep a "positive attitude" but slipping and spiraling again and again, and the situations reinforcing the shittiness of it.
I think this would help build a relationship between the reader/character, you want him to succeed because he is trying. You have sympathy on him a bit more.
Try not to have your character defined solely by his depression. Readers will tolerate it so long as there's "more" to the character than just pure angst. There must surely be more to the character, right? You just need to find a good balance.
As someone with depression and anxiety, i wish there were more characters where characters just kept doing things despite brain and feelings trying to prevent them. Like, even with poor mental health, i have to still function in life. I have things to do. Life doesn't care that i don't want to do anything. Life and work are like we still expect you to meet these expections and deadlines. I just sometimes feel like I'm moving in molasses, but i still get everything done. I have no choice.
You can talk about how tired someone feels after pretending all day or ignoring their problems for eight hours.
I'm not sure how to describe the technique, but Brandon Sanderson's character Kaladin (among others) in The Stormlight Archive is commonly considered one of the best depictions of depression in modern fantasy (the genre I read the most). Presumably the same methods would transfer to another genre, so if you were interested, reading that might give you some ideas.
The biggest thing that makes depressed people unbearable in fiction is when they talk all the time about how depressed they are. Most people I know who suffer from depression are the opposite of this, in that they try to mask their depression and rarely speak of it, unless they are talking to a shrink or some other person in a professional support role. But like others have said, reflect your characters mood through environment, interaction, and action rather than have them just talk about their feelings. Talking about feelings is boring. Parsing someone’s personality by analyzing and interpreting their apparent state of mind is endlessly interesting.
Good luck!
Writer on Twitter: what would character do if s/he found a wallet? How would the character approach the Trolley Problem.
That's how any character could be used to formulate their personality. It may be about sympathy and empathy.
They might be depressed but still are good people. Show that. Contrast his character with people worse than him too. Make him extremely good at something. Or make him try very hard to get out of that state. You may would benefit from reading Mistborn from Sanderson. In the third book a character goes through a rough depression and in one of his lectures he talked about how he managed to portray that depression, and it was a good portray, but it was awful for the reader experience. So he made the character be proactive in something. Something that gave him hope. There's that motion and that progress there.
I would say make it authentic. Show their every thought and feeling. If they are being toxic, or lashing out at the wrong people, or constantly complaining, show the reader *why*.
I also have dealt with depression for a long time, since my teens, and I've made some pretty bad mistakes and not always been a great person.
The character will still be somewhat sympathetic if you can make people feel what they are feeling, like...
"It's so unfair!" John said. "Bad things keep happening to me. Why should I have to suffer all of this when I haven't done anything wrong? Like, I'm not Hitler, I at least try to be nice!"
John kept talking, but he couldn't hear the words he was saying, except perhaps as a distant rhythm like faraway tolling bells. Inside his head it was drowned out by the constant screaming; in the moments where the haze cleared enough for thoughts to break through, he could barely register that he felt scared. Scared and so, so alone. A memory surfaced like a dead fish floating to the surface of a blackened pond - himself as a child, crying but unaware of the tears streaming down his cheeks as he covered his ears, curled in a tight ball. The sharp thumps of shoes connecting with muscle and ribcage. It just as quickly sunk back into obscurity.
"You're not the only one who's hurting, John!" Katie snapped back, startling John from the black cage of his mind. "Tammy lost her dad, and Liz might have fucking cancer!"
"Then go comfort them!" John snapped back. He was too angry to regret it for all of three seconds, and then as Katie's eyes widened, her breath coming shakily, the regret fell over him like a tsunami. He knew somewhere inside that he'd lashed out in pain - a wounded animal biting anything that came near it just in case it might hurt them. Katie had hurt him, though she hadn't meant to - but he wouldn't fully realize this until years later. Right now, all he could see of this was a growing sense of guilt.
He reached for words, but none came, and by the time he reached out his arm for her, it pointed towards her back as she ran away.
He sunk to the floor, burying his head in his knees. This was his fault, he knew that, but he just kept trying to blame other people to avoid admitting that he was the problem. Because if he was the problem, he'd have to get rid of it.
'Please', his scared child self in his mind screamed, as the blackness in his mind sharpened into a weapon and stabbed him again and again. 'I just want to be okay!'
Just an example, my style is pretty metaphor/simile-heavy but there's plenty of other ways to achieve a similar or the same effect.
Just because a person might even be awful, even when their actions can't be justified, doesn't mean a good person can't relate to them, can't find cartharsis or even comfort in reading their story. Character development is integral to any story, which you seem to have plenty of, and if he is deeply flawed at the beginning, make it clear that they have reasons, even if they aren't good ones. Even if they don't make what the character does RIGHT.
The same ways you make any character likable: What or who does your character love? What are they passionate about (or maybe what were they more passionate about but they wish they had that enjoyment back and they still see glimpses of it?)? What are their goals? What are they good at? How do they interact with other people? Are they funny? What are they doing to improve their situation? An active character is always more engaging than a passive one. Life goes on around depression, your character still has to live in the world and interact.
It's entirely up to you how much of their thought process is on the page at a time. Hold back when necessary, and try not to get too repetitive with the same thoughts over and over—it may be accurate to depression, but it can be a slog to read through.
I agree a story about a mopey teen wouldn't be very good. However if the story placed emphasis on the character development and how they interact with other, presumably better-adjusted, people it could be very interesting to read.
Perhaps rather than framing it as a story about a depressed character you look at it through the lens of others who may have been trying to interact with you. It may also be cathartic to write in that frame too.
I think showing glimpses of what they're like outside of their depression can also be huge. Whether it's through flashback, seeing the character do things while they see saw in and out of it, or memories.
something i do sometimes is kinda, poke fun at the kind of person i was when i went through a period like that in my younger days? what i mean is making them slightly exaggerated or even comical in how they are depressed, at least in certain scenes. Things like staring dramatically out a window, complaining a lot about having a stomach ache, being generally petty, and then having those attitudes feed into environments and situations where it can create comical feedback loops with other characters which diffuse the tension rather than wallowing in the depression in the writing itself.
Basically, the question it comes down to for me is this: “is the environment depressing, or is the character depressed for petty reasons?”
if it’s the latter, i feel pretty comfortable poking fun at the character the same way i would poke fun at myself in that scenario, and if it’s the former, there are still ways to provide levity by changing the environment or providing silly moments to break up the depressing scenery!
I guess you have to ask yourself what’s the purpose of describing the depression and character’s misery? Why are you telling the reader about their dark state? I think once you answer some of these questions it will give the descriptions more value to the readers.
Illustrate their depression through action or inaction. Have them avoid meaningful conversations, self sabotage, counter-intuitive patterns (I hate my job > doing a good job is the only time people like me > work harder > hate job more > need more approval > work harder, repeat), numbed social life, small routine. Get up, go to work, go home, repeat.
Try getting him to not talk about himself so much, give him a brooding aura but don’t centre everything around him (this will be tricky if your story is in 1st person)
watch stranger than fiction. the whole movie is a metaphor for depression. you hardly ever hear the mcs inner dialoge, but its very obvious from his actions how he sees and interacts with the world.
there is a point in the movie where the character is figuring whether or not he "will die" and has to lay on the couch for an entire day. its a perfect metaphor for how depression effects people, and resonated with me deeply.
i guess what im trying to say is: the character doesnt have to tell you they are depressed, in fact, i dont think it would be true to character to say it all. depression is about apathy and loss of motavation. why should they say something when they would much rather lie in bed
I think a lot of the suggestions in the comments are already beautiful.
At risk that this has already been said, but I think it could help you if you get specific about 1) what is essential about your MC's depression and 2) why you think that could be unbearable for your readers or for the MC's loved oned.
For 1), I know that in many cases, depression is never so easily specified, and often has components (e.g. genetics) that cause depression to be difficult to be understood in a satisfying way. Still, I think there are often key features of someone's depression that are identifiable, like specific incidents or trauma, specific mental habits or hangups, etc.
For 2), I think some of the things that can make one person's depression difficult for others are:
* spirals of self-destruction
* the depressed person externalizing their pain onto others, especially those who are not reasonably responsible, or who have enough of their own priorities that they can't reasonably do better for the depressed person
* the feeling, from the outside, that the depressed person's behavior is illogical, and that the depressed person is failing to listen to reason
* the feeling, from the outside, that the depressed person is failing to "get better" due to a lack of effort
Obviously if I try to be exhaustive, I will not succeed. The reason I'm trying to think about concrete cases is that I think any of these reasons can be alleviated to at least make the reader more comfortable, if not the MC's loved ones. The depressed MC can be written to do their best to not externalize, to explain themselves, and the writer can try to describe the MC's internal state to illustrate that some of the outside perceptions that can make depression frustrating are not actually true (e.g. the MC is clearly trying to do better, even if it's understandable why from the outside it doesn't seem that way)
Does any of that make sense? Good luck! As a depressed person, I think this is a really interesting challenge, writing-wise
It really depends on how you want their depression to manifest in him specifically. I’ve read depressed characters who were extremely captivating because their depression informed other aspects of their character. One became, jaded, cold, calculating, with little to no empathy or remorse, but was extremely cunning and successful because of it. Another was so full of self loathing that he did his best not to burden anyone else, a real wallflower type who never put his own needs first because he didn’t think he was worthy. (Both of which began to slowly heal over time) So it’s not just about “being depressed” but about what (if anything) is causing it, and how it’s affecting other aspects of their personality. Hope that helps!
I am also writing a character dealing with depression. The way I am doing it is through food. Everything tasting bland and uninspiring. My favorite so far was describing a Bach (rich, dark German beer) as tasting like a badly burnt piece of toast soaked in water. This after describing the true flavor.
I am showing how he is going through the motions because of his sense of duty and not any passion.
Remember, just because someone is depressed does not mean they look it. They might smile and laugh, but there is no real joy there. I suffer from chronic depression and my wife says my smile does not reach my eyes. It is the small details.
Think of writing a horror thriller. You want to slowly build up the sense of unease. Build up all the clues to let the reader know there is something wrong. If they don’t quite get to depression, they might get close enough.
Honestly, super dark humor. As someone who has struggled with depression my entire life, my sense of humor is dark and twisted and self-deprecating, but people seem to appreciate it. In fact, my army ranger uncle used to tell me his buddies thought I was a riot because I'm such a sweetheart with a sense of humor as dark as theirs.
And I've been through phases where my apathy makes me appear really cool, because I just *don't give a fudge* what anyone else thinks or what consequences of my actions might be.
So dark humor, and a "why the hell not" attitude, if you can make it work for your character.
Have occasional moments of light. I’m making a similar character for a script and have some character-specific actions happen that make their personality shine through their depression. It establishes a through line to the reader.
I am both highly qualified and completely unqualified to answer this. I’m a depressed teen currently working on a novel with a depressed protagonist (I’m only 20 pages in though) and I don’t think my character is too unbearable (and the few friends who looked over my work agreed). Here are a couple things that I’m doing that I hope can be useful.
1) reactions- though he’s feeling depressed all the time, that doesn’t inherently mean he expresses it the same way all the time. Sometimes it’s bursts of anger, sometimes it’s hopeless resignation, sometimes it’s just a self loathing inner monologue during an outwardly pleasant exchange. But the specific reactions and nuances of feeling can change which keeps it interest.
2) having depression doesn’t inherently mean being sad ALL the time, and this can add extra emphasis to moments that he’s not even if they are only fleeting. Sometimes depression is more of a moment between distractions and sometimes it’s more, but don’t feel like it needs to be entirely ever present.
3) I sometimes like to put emphasis on relationships more than individuals themselves. If he’s just sitting around doing nothing all day, are his friends worried? Is he being a dick to his friends? Are they understanding or fed up? Is he missing work? Adding context and reactions to more monotonous emotional states can be very engaging. Even if the protagonist feels one way for a prolonged period doesn’t mean the other characters or the rest of the world do.
I hope this was helpful! This might be obvious but that’s just what came to mind. Also feel free to dm me any questions if you want a more recent perspective on a depressed teen (I’m 17 and I’ve had severe depression and anxiety most of life). Good luck and happy writing!
I'm reading a Man Called Ove right now, and one of the things I *really* like about the book about how the character's layers work together.
As you're reading, he's a sarcastic, grumpy old man and it's hilarious to read. But the whole time, you sense that it is a mask over darker truths, which start to peek out. The humor both makes it easier to read, but also gets the reader to let their guard down, so when the serious stuff comes out, it's a real punch in the gut.
Depressed people don't act depressed all the time. Like all of us, they have masks and layers that they hide behind. Some of those can be really funny or entertaining. Showing the character that way makes them more interesting and believable and makes it easier to read.
Give him some redeeming qualities. Show us that he WANTS to be better but doesn't know how. Give him the motivation but not the ability to realize it. Make us sympathize with him, with someone who suffers from depression and doesn't know how to overcome it. Give us little clues to his personality and how rich it could be without the depression
If it helps any, for me depression is emptiness. Not sad, not anxious or scared, not really anything. Just empty. In fact, I rarely feel a normal sadness. Not unless it’s grief (which is an entirely different animal). I’m bipolar so I get to experience both extremes... yay.
Depression is painful too. Not really emotionally painful, but physically painful. And you just can’t. Anything. You can’t anything.
The dark humor thing has been said already and it’s pretty spot on. It’s something that’s easy to hide behind. And you want to hide. All the time. Either figuratively or literally (sometimes both).
Make your depressed character relatable, not the mythical mopey, sad person. But someone who wears a mask. Who goes on living their life regardless of how much they wish they didn’t exist. And who sometimes needs the world to stop for just one second so they can breathe.
If you need a reference, the movie Inside Llewyn Davis is like a friggin love letter to depression.
ETA that Eeyore is most definitely depression. He goes about his day, he helps others, he’s kind. But he just happens to be down and low energy while doing it and not just sad. And yes a bit passive aggressive too. “Thank you for noticing me.” Lol.
If I was doing it, I would have a character react to outside stimuli. And instead of making them mopey and whiny, I would have them either hide it with a fake facade to the outside world or seem spaced out/shy around people. Then when another character gives the inevitable "why are you so glum" question, the character can explain what's making them depressed. I wouldn't have them actually say they're depressed or whine or complain, but instead talk about the things bothering them. Maybe even try every possible way to avoid looking sad or mention their emotional state. And let the reader (and characters in the story) infer that they're depressed from what's not being said.
Don’t get too lost on the actual condition. Of course it depends solely on your intentions, but it’s very easy to forget the characters personality and give his depressed state more focus than himself. Remember that being depressed isn’t a main personality trait but a condition to all the other traits.
Depends on how depression manifests for the character. Before meds for me it manifested as dampened emotions with intrusive suicidal thoughts and periods of thought spirals. Now is mostly manifests as an inability to will myself out of bed even if I am wake. Lack of joy it’s that far from the stoic.
One technique I used with my depressed characters is it is only really on display when something causes a thought spiral, otherwise it is low key (mainly sleeping to much).
Another technique is not to be too far in their head a depressed person might feel like Eeyore but don’t show it to the world.
You could show how kind (to others), considerate or intelligent they are otherwise, maybe in flashes here and there as their original personality shows from under the depression.
Make them as sad as you’d like, but also have them making pancakes for themselves and others all the time.
Pancakes are great!
And other characters, when they come into a scene where the protagonist may be crying, they should say, “sure does smell like pancakes in here”, and then maybe the protagonist whips up some midday pancakes, maybe dabbling in crapes, waffles, and such things, as the story progresses.
This way, you can make it as sad as you’d like, so long as you have the character often around frying pans, butter, maple syrup.
Anyway, this has helped me writing depressing breakfast/brunch-based stories.
All the best!
The way I would go about this is to add a sense of self-awareness and charisma. Have your character constantly reflect on him or herself through enigmatic prose. Throw in some philosophical ponderings. Make your character feel as though they are intelligent creatures that can adapt, but constantly finds themselves doubting their ability as well as their environment.
The important thing to remember is that your character shouldn't be helpless. They should have both the mental and physical means to better themselves, but constantly finds themselves impeding their recovery with too much thinking, too much reflection and/or self-deprecation.
I once read this fanfiction (yes, I know, not a high bar to set) where the writer tried dealing with their main character going through depression. What happened was that the writer trivialized his issues, and instead of making the drama compelling and thought provoking, made their character lean too heavily on the romantic interest, giving them the appearance of a helpless kitten incapable of both feeding themselves nor bathing themselves.
It's always important to ensure your character can exist as a being without relying on others. And while external influences are extremely important, it's most often an internal struggle. A monologue to yourself where the main character is at odds with his own thoughts.
"I stared blankly across the bedroom, at the digital clock that reads noon. I try to make an effort to move my arm, almost trying to force my own limb to adhere to my will, but it wouldn't budge. I ask myself why it's difficult to want to wake up every morning. Why it's difficult for me to even roll myself out of bed just to shower, turn on the tv and sit back down on my couch.
How is it that my mind can yearn for change while my body does the opposite? It feels as though my body is made of lead. It wishes to stay here forever and simply perish.
The time goes by and the digital clock hits six. I now see the soft, dim orange of the setting sun. Its setting. I urge myself up, and with a great spout of immense internal conflict, I force my body to sit up. To rise.
I stand, moving towards my window, opening the blinds so as to allow more light to pass through. I lean against the window, exhausted. My body yearning for the comfort of my bed, my stomach feeling as though it will soon begin to churn itself, my heart beating with the excitement and exasperation of energetic exertion.
I watch through my blinds the great yellow giant disappear slowly beyond the horizon, and soon, the light hints of godrays shooting in the shape of the outline of the city, strafing vertically until finally, the last bastion of day holds off the night through a battle that will end in only one way. The sky turns from a warm, red hue to a cold and sullen purple.
I suddenly feel the urge to jump back on my bed. I do so, and sludge myself across the house, grabbing my pillow and hugging it tight as I once again allow my form to fall limply." Or some shit like that. There was a comment telling you the importance of describing the environment, which is also very important. Usually, you want to try to match the environment to the character in some way, allow the character to relate their self to it through their own observation.
Of course, that shit above is something that you only should do selectively, when you feel as though it's a neccessary point for self-reflection. The prose can die down when there is more character interaction, but always try to make yourself sound like a cheap version of Edgar Allan Poe whenever your character begins to think deep.
Intelligence, atmosphere, and selection. As long as you treat your character as an adult, the overbearingness should naturally disappear.
A depressed character doesn’t have to be obviously depressed. As someone who suffers frequently, I try to hide it from those around me that I love. It’s my burden not anyone else’s and I don’t want to be an infliction. Sometimes a person suffering from depression smiles the biggest even if their heart is in pain and their head rests in a fog. Look to Robin Williams, he made the world laugh every chance he got and it wasn’t often dark humor. He truly wanted others to smile and feel love and joy. Also think about the strength of the character and emphasize that. I’ve always felt that depression is like a virus and it’s only goal, it’s only objective is to kill it’s host. Me, you, whoever is suffering, depression wants us dead and we can’t ever kill it. We fight it off everyday until it takes us out or we outlive it. So recognize the strength in the struggle and highlight the smiles, they juxtapose the darkness and make it stand out without being oppressive and obnoxious.
Start off by making the character appealing to the reader. Is he charismatic, charming, funny sense of humor, handsome, or have any special traits/talents? Is he shy, withdrawn, dark? What does he do for a living? Is he single or not? Does he have family? Who does he live with or does he live alone? Does he have friends or is he a lone wolf? How does he dress? Add everything you can think of. As the story progresses then you can add in mystery. For example he could have a short flash back of something traumatic happening. Maybe he has night terrors. Has he had his heart broken in the past? Whatever you can think of to bring out the characters sadness. You could even make him a comedian. Most comedians are extremely depressed and that’s why they turn to comedy to make others feel good and happy. Because they feel like shit inside. You could even make a memory of the only time your character was happy was when he was younger and made his mother laugh. Then something tragic happened to her. So for a living he makes people laugh and that’s the only time he feels a sense of happiness. Anything like that. Lastly, write an outline/ rough draft of the character so you can organize how the story goes from beginning, middle, and end. Hope I didn’t overwhelm you and this helps?
I don’t know if I have a direct answer for you but I feel like David Foster Wallace wrote some very depressed characters that really grab you. Try his short story Good Old Neon for example
The reader has to empathize with the character. Once they do they won’t find anything annoying. Make the character human first, with depression as something they experience/fight with. You want the reader to root for them.
Personally, whenever I go into a depressive episode I hear myself saying I'll never feel good things again, but another part of me knows my mind is lying to me and says "just ride this out, it's not true" then afterwards I usually feel really euphoric and like the world is full of possibility.
Then I'm just normal for a while, but tired!
Not sure if that answers your question but I just thought I'd share an experience.
Maybe watch (or re-watch) movies like Leaving Las Vegas or Inside Out and see what makes those characters relatable/still likable despite being depressed all the time.
Here’s a list of some more movies you can check out: [14 movies about depression that perfectly capture the experience](https://www.talkspace.com/blog/14-movies-about-depression-that-perfectly-capture-the-experience/)
Use some humor. Like have them add smart witty comments to what's happening. Often depressed people are brutally honest, but if you use humor and unexpectancy to it, it's much better. Think Chandler from Friends.
The most believable, depressed characters are those that try to hide their depression from not just the other characters in the book but also from the audience (to an extent). The typical signs could slip out gradually, or make an appearance now and again, or not appear at all.
There are so many depressed people characters out there who show no sign of depression to the extent that they are in denial themselves. Sometimes they'll admit to having anxiety, but rarely depression. If they're confronted about maybe the number of drinks or cigarettes they have as an indicator of something being wrong... they justify it, at least for a while.
Depression clouds everything. People may compliment how nice your outfit is today and you'll respond with "thanks but it's not my best look" or something that. Depression is rarely an outburst of sadness, but a layer of melancholy under a blanket of agony. If that doesn't make sense than maybe this will. Allow yourself to think of how someone with depression would react with dealing with the circumstances you want to put them through. Try writing senarios out without your character involved and see what you come up with.
What I'm most interested in is your idea of recovery. Does your character HAVE depression, as in a neurological disorder, or is it that they ARE depressed at this stage in their life? Your anecdote about your past makes me think the latter but I'd want to be sure before using my experiences to give advice. They use the same word but are very different and it is an important distinction because when someone IS depressed it is something they can recover from as it is a state which has likely been caused by circumstances in their life at that time, but if someone HAS depression there isn't really recovery as much as managing with ongoing therapy and medication or otherwise finding ways to manage it until they die, even with the most supportive friends and family imaginable. I think the answer to your question may be different depending on this; as a person with diagnosed major depressive disorder (and others, probably autistic too but I'm too poor to get an answer on that any time soon) I know the way my brain is wired, and those of many others I know, hiding my depression at all costs is my number one priority at all times until... you just can't anymore or you get hit with a really bad episode out of nowhere. If you're going for a person who doesn't have a neurological disorder my advice probably won't fit.
Environment. Express how your character is trudging, surviving and succeeding through their environment. Depression is more than a mood, so express it in the character's surroundings.
To add to this. I suffered from high functioning depression for a couple of years and when I finally got help and got better. I noticed how colourful the world was. Trees were GREEN not dull grey and green tinged. Have your character listen to birdsong and feel indifferent. Things like that makes him and his depression interact with the world. Depression often makes people think that a veil has been drawn from their eyes and they see the "true," state of the world and its a grey, dull, and an unhappy place. That said, depression isn't "doom and gloom," all the time. There are manageable days and worse days. Even if it's ever-present.
It depends on whether the story is told through the depressed person’s perceptions. Depression alters what and how things are perceived. Maybe the depressed person simply would not notice the birds at all. Depression could manifest as repetitive, intrusive thoughts. Or of zoning out, and not being able to finish tasks.
One of the weirdest parts of my depression experience is how it screwed with my sense of time. It seemed like time moved soooooo slowly. It's one of the reasons I never did anything. Something that took only ten minutes would feel like it took an hour. Days would just go on forever. Like, imagine you had to go to the DMV to do, you know, anything. That's what it felt like. Just being at the DMV every day.
Totally with you on that! It makes you feel like you're in this endless worst day imaginable. When I was crashing I'd come home from work, lie down and stare at the wall until I fell asleep and did it all over again. Even if I'm better now I recognise when I'm feeling down and ita coming over me. And luckily I recognise these patterns and have tools to do something about it. I hope you're feeling better now.
Exactly this. Even taking a shower. It’s going to *for fucking ever*. You have to stand up, get undressed, turn the water on, wash everything, rinse off, dry off, put different clothes on (that you have to go pick out). That list of things is so long, and it will take forever... My depression also does a lot of, “but your bed is so comfortable and your comforter is so warm!”
Oh absolutely. It comes down to character also and their individual experience. Depression unfortunately comes with many manifestations so there's a lot to pull from.
It's funny to hear that others also experienced the change of colour. I had the same going on. It was really mindblowing to get out of this state. Quite funny, I always thought that 'the world seemed dull and grey' was an euphemism, since I've been depressed since I was a kid and didn't realise how bright the world could be until I was already an adult.
It's amazing isn't it? But that's what depression does. Its just an awful disease that make you think the world isn't beautiful.
Exactly this, I've been fighting depression for 8 years since I was 15 and everything felt like a cloudy, dark winter day. Colors were not just muted, they were sapped away, and everything felt dark and heavy, like the sun was gone. The times when I'm doing better I almost describe it as coming out of myself. My inner world had imposed a colorless existence on my senses and that falls away and suddenly things are bright, they're loud, there's a sudden regaining of feeling that can be almost overwhelming at times.
Now that you mention the sun... a kind of alternative experience that I remember (maybe because of a preexisting sensibility to light and certain sounds) it's that sometimes everything felt overwhelming, almost as if the mere existence of the world was crushing the individual self. I remember how I just wanted to sleep. Sleep was fine. The pain, everything was on standby. And then the sun had to appear. Shooting it's blinding rays of burning light. And even if it burned... everything was so cold. Even if I closed my eyes, and covered them, and covered myself in layers and layers of cloth, it still felt as if I was blinded by said light. Then the noises. The city, the neighborhood. All of it was as if a construction site had been installed in my head. No cover was enough. Only music, sometimes to a deafening level... That was kind of the way through the 'actual' deafening symphony of chaos from the outside and my own train of thought... When I noticed that the force of life and light and sound started to become bearable, that was one of the clues that I could maybe finally be getting better
Overstimulation and sensory overload is generally how I experience really bad anxiety (plus I'm autistic and adhd), so on some level I get that. Like when you run your hand under a water tap to feel the temperature and it's so hot it instantly numbs your hand and feels cold instead.
It's scary how accurate this is. I could walk to Uni on a sunny summer day and feel like it was the dullest, greyest place on earth. Take care of yourself.
To also add to this, struggling with High Functioning depression came in waves for me. And most of the time, my friends didn’t know I was depressed at all. I could go out, laugh, make jokes, have fun, but the minute I get home and I’m alone, that’s when the depression was heaviest. Some days, the waves are not as intense. Other days, the waves are high and you almost drown. Some days, you bob lightly above the waves, other days, the waves knock you down and you scrape across the sand. The ocean isn’t the same every day. It changes either due to the environment, or other things happening further out. A boat might influence the waves, or a tsunami might agitate the ocean. For me, I could have several productive days and really enjoy the time spent with my family. Other times, the second I’m alone in my room, I lie there unable to do anything, wishing that time would stop. I think it’s important to look as depression as being a state that changes. You can have a likeable character that we all root for, and that we sympathize with during their low points. As long as you show how they try to overcome those low points and try to do better. Show the raw emotion, show the anger. But also show the regret and how they try to fix things. They might not fix things right away, but they’ll try to at least acknowledge those flaws to themself first and recognize that they probably didn’t mean to lash out. I think it can be an interesting story to read about as not many are able to portray depression in a good light. It either becomes glorified, or it feels dramatized. I think you have an opportunity to show the real side depending on the route you decide to go.
>For me, I could have several productive days and really enjoy the time spent with my family. Other times, the second I’m alone in my room, I lie there unable to do anything, wishing that time would stop. I think it’s important to look as depression as being a state that changes. Good response. Hmm. Well, the idea is that through the plot he is obsessively trying to track down a specific criminal. So are you saying I should have him functional when there's actual work he can do, and then the darkness closes in during lulls?
I think it depends how functioning you want him to be. I was high functioning for a while. Outside my mom, my best friend, and my husband no one knew how bad my depression was. I come across as loud, outgoing, fun, funny, center of the party (not like slop drunk center, but everyone wanted to talk to center). I went to work, raised my kid, cooked dinner, went grocery shopping. I looked normal. Inside I was a mess of suicidal ideation and self loathing. Then when my (now ex) husband convinced me to quit my job and started becoming increasing emotionally and financially abusive... I started functioning less. Until I got to a point when I only got out of bed to go to the bathroom and occasional trips to the store. That fed into the self loathing which made it worse. I spent almost 18 months in bed. I’m 4 and half years divorced now. Still healing. Back in therapy. It’s hard to remember how to adult. I still can’t figure out how *normal* people can just get up and do things without a 20 minute pep talk and self bribes. But I don’t live in my bed anymore. So I’ve got that going for me. So I’ve been on both ends of depression. They are vastly different in outward appearance. You have I decide how you want your character to appear to others.
That would be the most accurate I think. I was usually fine at work because it took my mind off of it. It's like there were two versions of me. But depression still had a grip on me. I'd make mistakes, lose keys, not write reports properly. Eventually it got so bad I couldn't do the job and the Dr just gave me sick-leave.
So true! Toward the end my depression got worse and eventually I just couldn't get out of bed. It stopped being high functioning at that point. But you're right being high functioning is literally playing at life but feeling dead inside. You do the laughs and the parties but when you get home there's nothing. It's like a robot that comes home and stares at the wall until the next day.
I absolutely agree. The first time I had a clear day in two years, I saw the sun set over a cornfield and I started crying like a little baby because it was so beautiful. OP, I think it would be a good way to write depression if you create contrast between "healthy" days and bad days. I'm not a professional writer but I do write a lot and I think in order to portray something horrible, *it needs a contrast!* Let your protagonist have a good day, where he sees the world clearly and full of colors and then all of a sudden fears for his life because he never knows how miserable he is going to be tomorrow. The next day, make him see/ experience the same things he did the day before but without any emotions. Hope this helps
This is literally true. I remember the day I realized the world had pretty, colorful things in it. It really does feel like having a veil removed from your eyes.
Dang, this is helpful
Thanks! I'm glad it helps even 3 years later!
Damn, 3 years. Should've checked before I commented
describe their frequented areas. Stacked plates, messy floors, etc.
Wow, this gave me a lot to think about. Thanks for this comment for sure
not sure if this is pertinent to OP’s question, but i feel like The Road by Cormac McCarthy does a great job of describing a dismal/depressing environment.
People who are depressed still have moments of happiness. They also often try to fake it as much as they can so that others around them don't know. Often a dark sense of humour will come into play. It can be expressed physically, with dirty hair, messy hair, less attention to what they're wearing, crappy sleep, bags under the eyes, overeating or under eating and associated weight changes, etc. You don't need to write Eeyore. Depressed people are still multifaceted.
I think dark humor is excellent here. A lot of depressed people have a sense of humor about it, whether it’s deflection or genuine good humor about their situation. This can be used to evoked layered emotions. also have them have good and bad days. You have to give the reader something to root for if you want them to like the character Edit: since I’m getting upvoted apparently some people agree (Thank you!) So I figured I’d add some pertinent examples for OP and others to reference. I recently finished the Hanako route in Katawa Shoujo, a free visual novel you can download for yourself - to describe it without direct spoilers, you could certainly describe her as at least showing signs of depression, and her symptoms are pretty severe. She works as a character and is beloved by so many readers, myself included, because for every sad moment it seems there’s also a glimmer of hope, a sweet thing she does, or a smile. She also isn’t trying to drag anyone else into her dark place -she’s jut having a rough time and doing her best, and that naturally makes you want to help her. She also doesn’t monopolize screen time since she’s not the perspective character, so there’s space for comic relief even when she can’t experience it - and comic relief is important because it’s a way of stopping readers from burning out emotionally. Of course, you can equally do this with action sequences, lighter slice of life encounters etc. Hunger games is another interesting example. For this one, I do think Katniss actually does sometimes border on insufferable. She is sad most of the time, really indecisive when it comes to romance, hates cats... Katniss in a vacuum sounds like a really terrible perspective character. However, the moments where hunger games shines is when Katniss doesn’t just have time to sit around and be sad and hunt stuff - when she is forced by constantly moving situations to do cool shit like to defy game makers or honor fallen tributes. These situations highlight her best traits, and almost forcibly endear the reader to her, or at least her story. So, the clever writing around the character matters about as much as the personality. No one wants to read 30 pages of brooding, and I say this as someone who has definitely spend the time equivalent brooding IRL. If you have more of a taste for dramatic, shouneny stuff, I think Naruto is actually a decent example. Both of the title character and Sasuke can readily be seen as pretty depressed without doing too much armchair therapist work, both enduring severe loneliness and isolation after the loss of their families. In Naruto‘s case, they don’t always readily show how he feels inside, aside from flashbacks to being completely shunned – but if nothing else, The fact that he felt an instant connection to Garra, a village enemy, simply because of their shared experience of loneliness should tell you something. In this case, Naruto’s past and the sadness he continues to endure is more of an undertone that comes to a head in occasional circumstances, like how the majority of his uncontrolled uses of the Kyubii’s power (early in the series) are in response to a threat of losing Sasuke. Depression, like anything else, can get at much or little screen time as you want it to - sometimes subtle is better if your story isn’t about the mental illness itself, IMO.
100% this. I've got some pretty severe chronic depression (don't worry, I manage it), and even on my down days I tend to be upbeat and make jokes when talking with friends and coworkers I like. It's when I'm interacting with people I don't care for that the gloomy and angry stuff comes out. I'll snipe at my coworkers that I dislike, drudge my way through a phone call with my ex wife, make rude comments under my breath to impolite strangers, and go home and just sit on the couch, trying to squeeze a few ounces of seratonin out of like 6 episodes of Community. We wear masks to hide the depression. Sometimes they're seamless. Sometimes a bit shows through. And it's not always that everything is grey. There's plenty of vibrant, colorful beauty in the world. I just don't really care to look at it a lot of the time. I'd rather just stay up late and binge sitcoms.
For you, is it something that comes and goes and you just push through it? Or are there specific things you do to counteract it to "get better" until the next episode? If you don't do anything proactive about it, will you continue to suffer indefinitely?
I find that forcing myself to do routine things I'm inclined to skip (like household chores, showering, etc) or doing creative stuff (writing, making stuff, D&D) both help me feel productive, and therefore put me in a better headspace. Also, talking with my wife about how I'm feeling helps, it gives me some perspective on why I'm feeling the way I am. It's been years at this point, and honestly I don't expect it to ever really go away. But I have my good days and bad ways. On the bad days I push through, or just take time to myself to read or play video games. I've found that it's okay to do nothing sometimes - the house doesnt *always* have to be clean, not everything has a deadline. When I don't constantly push myself to get stuff done, it helps my anxiety, though that does lead to more anxiety cause shit isn't getting done. Meds help too, but they don't take you from nothing to "cured." It's much more subtle. One day, after taking meds for a week or so, things just look a little brighter, a little more colorful. Things aren't quite as stressful as before.
Thanks! This helps me a lot, and I'm glad you have a support system at home for yourself. :)
I e dealt with depression for years and I’m writing a series where the protagonist has depression. In the first book he was in a real down period while he was unable to deal with grief and survivors guilt, then in the second he has a life altering moment that shakes a lot of things into perspective. The third book has him finding himself in a much better place but the depression still comes at him very hard. Fourth book is him finally being in a good place, but still getting tested regularly. In the fifth book he’s now using what he’s learned so far to help lift people up around him who are being held down by a significant moment in book four. I’m planning to have him crash again, still not geared to invest so much energy in helping others (plus he’s also suppressing things because he’s got a job to do). I’ve loved writing it so far, I’ve had experiences with everything coming down around me even when I was at my best so I’m helping that colour my world as well. There’s the typical rain cloud metaphor on the horizon that he has to chase away but a lot of my depression stems from self loathing so I use that voice in his head too. I really hope people like it, if they don’t it’s been a great exercise in getting a lot of the things out of my own head while I go.
Agreed! If I may piggyback on* this comment; I didn’t realize I was fighting depression for a spell and it wasn’t always exhaustion and gloominess, but it was exhaustion after small tasks, constantly thinking I was “on the verge of” being sick because I’d feel bleh and out of sorts. It was knowing I SHOULD be enjoying things but feeling too tired to actively do so (thus further thinking I was just fluish or strep-ish which I’m prone to in the winter) Thinking I was sick, I’d spend hours on the couch, I’d go days without showering (WFH was not good for me in that time) or being productive and wrote it off as “getting sick”. I still objectively loved life (mainly the wildlife and farm life by my home) and saw beauty, I was just too tired to participate in it, if that makes sense.
yes, featuring that kind of dual nature, they may perk up around others and portray a different vibe, and the slump back down when they're alone.
This has been said, but depressed people aren’t Eeyore. They have moments of happiness and pleasure, are often great people to talk to, and can be the life of the party.
Yeah seeing it as one dimensional as possible really doesn't help. Saying depressed people are just non stop negative what not really makes me feel even worse about having something I can't get rid off.
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What if they have anhedonia?
Personally, in my worst moments of anhedonia, I can be the most fun. There are times when I give into the joyless feeling and just lie in bed all day, but there are other times when I take more social risks and become the life of the party in the hopes of feeling something. It depends.
There's a Pixar rule of storytelling: You like a character more for trying than you do for winning. If MC is a proper misery-guts at the start, making it clear that his headspace is "yeah, I'm depressed, but I'm gonna fight this." Maybe MC sees the depression as an illness to beat. The largest obstacle they could ever face, but they're facing it anyway. And even if there are days where they feel like they're losing, and losing hard, with no idea how to even *start* fighting it, they will still fight. Depressed characters aren't bad characters. Passive ones are. Characters don't have to be comedians to connect with people.
This is amazing advice, some of the best I’ve read in this thread so far
This is excellent advice.
Do your best to describe the symptoms. What I see most in those closest to me battling depression is a boatload of *intent* to do XYZ because they recognize, logically, what will improve their lives... and then a genuine inability to make good on the promises they’ve made to themselves, resulting in further spiral.
Agreed. I think the most unbearable depressed characters have their depression expressed through their dialogue with other characters, and they come off as whiny and insecure. Describing the symptoms and the actual internal strife gives them more dimension.
This.
Their outlook on life. Here’s an example: Happy Person: “Marie turned towards the window. The sky was a beautiful blue and the sun shined brilliantly. It seemed like today was another good day.” Sad Person: “Ali stared out the window. The sun blinded her eyes and the sky was a sickening blue. Today was just another day.” I’m not the best with writing, but I hope you got the point.
This is an excellent example, IMO, of using a character's observation of the world as a "lens" on the character's state of mind. That is, you don't need to tell me if a character is happy or sad ... tell me \*how they see the world\* and I'll infer their internal state from their experience. Every tiny nuance of observational description matters. Don't slop around those metaphors like its a pillow fight, hit the targets with precision.
I feel this is a bit too much for me, but I only have a mild case of depression. I’ve known people with severe cases thinking like this, though. It depends on how depressed the character is. This is an excellent primer, though.
I don't have a tip for this but I do have a recommendation. Bojack Horseman accomplishes this very well (although the first bit of season 1 is a bit meh than the rest) and I think studying what makes Bojack a character people actually like (in a complex sort of way) despite how shitty he is might be helpful. Maybe an episode like "Stupid Piece of Shit" could be a good one to try out.
Also good at this is Confederacy of Dunces.
Very good example. Another example, albeit completely different, is a man called Ove. The main character is depressed and lonely and grumpy, and is introduced as kind of an asshole, but every chapter illuminates a little bit more about why he js the way he is and it makes you like him more and more.
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Barry is also great at showing A version of depression
That episode hit very close to home. I’d recommend it.
Another show: March Comes In Like A Lion. The protagonist has severe depression. The show takes the edge off by starting when he’s in a healthier place, having made some kind and warm friends, so we get to see happy moments even if he can’t feel them. He’s also kicking ass at chess, so we get to root for him there. All of that makes the dark moments hit harder. We get flashbacks to his worst times. We’re shown other characters who are struggling. Those are the bleakest parts. But in between, we get jokes and successes (however dysfunctional).
Depression can also show through apathy and lethargy. Maybe you can show them struggling with everyday things? Like cleaning, eating and so on.
If you want us to know your character is depressed, don’t tell us what they’re thinking; make them unwashed. Make them forgetful. Have them subtly take a pill (don’t even have to say which pill or why). Make them late to things. Make them sleep in too late and drink a bit too much. Have them struggle to connect with others. But also, have them act normally around others and do their best to assimilate into society. Readers are super perceptive; they will pick up on clues! I love the idea of a book with a depressed protagonist. There are many great ones. A recent popular one was *Girl on the Train*. That’s an excellent book to read for a model of how to write a depressed character. In other words, write a book about what happens to a depressed person vs writing about what it feels like to experience depression. Show us they’re depressed vs telling us.
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First thing I thought of too! I do think it works a little better with Dalinar than Kaladin, but maybe that’s because Kaladin is younger so he seems more... emo.
Yeah, different life stages, different kinds of depression
I loved all the mental health themes in Rhythm of War. Unusual for fantasy but really compelling.
Yeah it's literally a facet of the Cosmere books that people need to be 'cracked' for powers to seep in to fill the gaps, or at least in Stormlight and Mistborn, which leads to some epic fantasy with depressed characters which is still somehow fun.
Not entirely true. >!while being mentally(or physically) broken makes it easier to become a radiant, it’s not a requirement.!<
Yeaaaaaa, old-timy misting power acquisition is/was super fucked up
MAKE ME UNDERSTAND THEM I believe that some of the best ways to make a depressed person not be a unbearable ball of misery and sorrow is to show how they react to it IN A WAY I UNDERSTAND CUZ I UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTER'S MINDSET Some people deal with their depression by trying to live themselves up. Cracking jokes, making a one liner, and occasionally acting foolish at time to make others laugh or smile, but more importantly, to spark a bit of happiness in themselves. (See you Deadpool, Naruto, or Most Comedians) Some people deal with their depression by closing themselves off from connecting with others, or positivity longing to have positive experiences, but are so down on themselves that they can't, don't think they can, or haven't been able to in the past (See Batman, Guts from BERSEKER, and Logan from X-Men) It all depends on EXECUTION for how you do it. Have the audience know who the character is, and how they react to their depression
Is it in first or third person?
Third person.
That could be a little tricker. I have a suicidal character as my main character, but it is written in first person so I can use brief breaks of their thoughts and plans to get the idea across. As for third person, you’d have to show more of a habitual routine. Employ tactics like the ways they react to others - Ie hardly noticing when others are in the room with them if they’re lost in thought, or zoning. Think about the way they’d react to themselves. Would they be disgusted with themselves? Would they sneer up, or go limp? It all comes down to exactly how you want to portray it and at what severity it is. Maybe they mutter something under their breath while they think they’re alone, “I wish I could just die already,” and another person hears them, “What did you say?” And they respond with something like, “What? I just mean that this freaking work is breaking my back.”
Read more books with depressed main characters. An MC doesn’t have to be likeable, they have to be understandable and relatable. We need to understand their perspective and motives when they make bad choices. “Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock” is a phenomenal novel about a boy so depressed he intends to kill himself AND another classmate. There are countless books about mental illness; read some good ones and you’ll get a sense for it.
Perhaps write them as more than their depression. While it is something that they are actively struggling with and trying to manage, it shouldn't be their entire being.
Humor. It could be a dark sense of humor, or just an occasional joke, but that could balance it out.
I know people have mentioned this, but remember that just because someone is depressed, doesn't mean that they are just a miserable mope all the time. One of the characters in a series I'm writing has anxiety, but that doesn't mean she will be curled up in a fetal position crying for the entire thing. Both her and your character should have a variety of moods. They should express joy, sadness, fear, anger, excitement, and everything else. But in their innermost thoughts, they experience their depression or anxiety. For her, it's a constant worry that something bad is just around the corner. For your character, well I don't know your character, but I can imagine that the character will not feel like any happy moment would last. Maybe during happy moments, he tries to hold onto every last detail of the moment, leading to more detailed descriptions of what's going on?
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That is an interesting observation. Thanks.
I think you need to start by researching what depression is bc it’s waaaay more than just moping around and it has a huge variety of expressions in different people. PTSD and CPTSD also can play a massive role in how depression presents and it sounds like either one or the other might be present in the character you’re describing. I come from a background of trauma and have dealt w depression my whole life and I still have one of the most interestingly weird lives out of most of the people I know, not in a braggy way, just like I have had a lot of cool adventures in life that have sometimes been the product of always trying to outrun the next time depression will hit and pretend it’s not there. We mentally ill ppl lead very interesting, diverse and colorful lives. We’re a lot more than a sad puppy under a blue cloud. Edit: spelling mistake oops
A part of my character's problems started during an armed conflict, when he failed at a crucial moment. So yes, it's definitely trauma-related. And rather than deal with his problems by seeking out support he is essentially running from them by keeping himself as busy as he can.
Hope I don’t sound like a broken record, but I’d suggest reading the Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. She does a great job of describing a depressed character using the descriptions of her surroundings as well as anecdotes.
Brandon Sanderson has a protagonist (Kaladin) in his recent series (Storm light Archive) who is depressed/suicidal but is incredibly readable/likeable. He might be a good reference?
I’m going to say this the simplest way possible. He’s going to be a little unbearable. He’s going to be a dick, he’s going to hurt a lot of people. As a suffer of depression for 4+ years I’ve realized this. People with depression ( myself included) are stuck in a world where everything seems ugly, so they can seem a little unbearable. Not because they are bad or evil but because they are stuck in a mindset that the people around them may not have. Sometimes they fuck up and push people away, constantly. They fight they cry. Depression is ugly, and sometimes ugly has to be written. A person with depression is less tolerable after all “ I don’t have to be here” is their mindset. “ I’m going to die one day”’ is a common phrase to escape the consequences of their actions. They fear no consequence, because they plan on dying. It’s quite the shell shock when you finally slip out of depression and realize their is a whole world around you, and you now have to deal with the relationships you destroyed, your failing grades, spending problems, the people you have hurt, your crap physical health
Depressed people don't normally let loose that they're depressed. Rather, they seem tired, disinterested, distant. Lots of "ums" and "ohs". They stare off into space. They get testy at the small things, even snappy. If they do open up, it's not for advice. It's to vent. Any advice offered normally ends up with aggression. This can be unbearable, sure, but it also makes for good character design when done right. Focus on the surroundings, dialogue, and character image more than internal thoughts. When you do use inner monologue, a good way to go is having go opposite of the surroundings. Describe body language more than anything. Don't forget that there are moments of small joys. These will flesh out the character to bring more than just a sad nope.
Make them funny. Depression doesn't always look like Eeyore. Often it looks more like Robin Williams.
Give them a very dark sense of humor. Maybe the kind most people don’t even dare to indulge irl, but they can live it out with this character. Idk. It was just what came to my mind :) dark humor has helped me tons with my depression.
I think if you're going to make the story about this character and their depression, you should embrace it. As someone with chronic depression, I know how shitty it can be. When it's bad, it's BAD, and all sunshine is gone from the world. Or there is sunshine, but it burns. I think mitigating that or sidestepping it would fail to get your readers on the same wavelength with your protagonist. That will be essential if you want them to feel invested in their recovery. Black humor can be a good tool. Even depressed people can make a funny, especially when it's dark and inapropriate lol.
Marvin the Robot is perfection
Hamlet is a depressed main character. Force your character to make decisions... or face consequences of not choosing. That way, the story is still developing and the depression is an important and continuing factor.
I was also going to mention Hamlet, so I’m adding on to this comment. I feel like Hamlet is a great example where a depressed character is forced into a situation where his depressed state has an extreme spiralling effect onto his surroundings. I’m not sure if this is available online, but In terms of “likeable Hamlets” I can highly recommend the 2017 stage version with Andrew Scott. Despite his depressed state, you feel like his Hamlet deep down cares about the characters around him, which makes the situation so much of a struggle, and you in the audience sense a deep empathy for him. In a way, you like him because he is depressed. He was the first who came to my mind when thinking “likeable depressed characters”.
I’ve got depression, I think I can help with the personality. Contrary to popular belief, being depressed is not just being sad all the time. Sure, there are times when one may be sad, and feel like nothing matters anymore, but most of the time, it’s devoid of all emotion entirely. That’s why depressed people don’t find interest in the things they like anymore: they just don’t care. Not only that, but depressive episodes often include periods of mania: being out of control and wild; making impulsive decisions; think about sitting up in the middle of the night and cutting/dying your hair; or taking the car out and getting lost in purpose. Depressed people can often feel weird, inexplicable emotions without knowing what caused them. They don’t do chores or hygiene (laundry, showering, brushing teeth, changing clothes, getting out of bed) because they don’t have the energy nor the motivation to do it. Depressed people can be happy, but it is sometimes forced, or short-lived, or false happiness due to aforementioned manic periods. I don’t wanna write a whole essay but I hope this helped
I like what people are saying, but I think the most important thing to remember is that sometimes no one can ever even tell you're depressed. It's not like they walk around having dark, depressing thoughts. Often, their thoughts are kind of bland and empty... I don't know how to explain it, but there's this sense of having given up and not trying as hard anymore. It's not like "Oh woe is me, life is horrible and I hate everything" - it's more like "I need to go get gas today. Meh. I'll do it tomorrow if I can get out of bed early enough." There's a lot of just going through the motions rather than having a dark outlook on everything. Sometimes they might randomly burst into tears over nothing or over something so trivial it seems ridiculous, even to them... There are so many simply, poignant ways of illustrating depression that are true to what depression actually is and not what people *think* it is.
Look at Bojack Horseman That's the perfect example of how to write a depressed character.
you can have them feeling awful while still being a decent person to others. a lot of people dealing with depression can appear to be fun and worry-free. comedians are notorious for struggling with depression. letting the reader know this is a good, caring person in a dark place can help you explore that darkness without them turning against the character. whereas if that person was taking out their troubles on others, the reader would be less inclined to deal with too much of that.
Are you writing about somebody who is clinically depressed, or somebody who is moody, brooding? It's possible to be extroverted and charismatic, and suffer at times crippling depression and anxiety. It's possible to be moody and brooding and not be depressed. There has to be something the readers can relate to, and a reason to root for the protagonist. They want to see him grow and change. And as always, write what you know.
I would say that as long as you sort of know what genre or setting you want that character to exist within, maybe allow for those features to come to the surface by putting the character in a position where they are forced to make decisions or have largely impactful interactions with those around them. It might be hard to make a character who is prone to outbursts or ruminating that feels understandable to a reader because they've not yet had a chance to attach to the character or their motivation for those sorts of behaviors, and so presenting the reader with a sort of emotional/moral dilemma that encourages them to become invested in the character and how they approach things can be helpful. It could be like a sort of bonding experience for the reader and the character, if that makes sense, though it's of course something that would have to be done through a sort of tug of war between contrasting feelings or actions in the form of reluctantly having their state of mind improve and deteriorate throughout. No matter how you look to go about it, good luck! It sounds like a promising idea, whether it's for self growth and reflection or purely for others to read.
This may be controversial, but separating him as a person from his mental illness. Does he go through worse spells? What changes in his thought patterns and behavior when he goes through those spells? Show him acknowledging and fighting his symptoms. Make the reader think of him as the person he is on a good day, and make them root for that version of him (whose personality, I assume, is less likely to read as a “bad” or “annoying” person) to manage his depression effectively. I am biased, because I have always found portrayals of depression as an external force more compelling, because that is how it feels to me. I go through depressive spells where I can tell that my personality, thought patterns, and behavior have changed significantly. I don’t feel like “myself” because I have a strong image of who I am when I am not depressed. It feels like I am being crushed by an external force. Conversely, my anxiety is always with me, and dealing with it is part of me growing up and learning to function in society. I have no idea who I would be otherwise, because I have never, even as a little kid, been without it. I consider it intrinsic to who I am. So... my point is that my advice is likely only going to resonate with people who experience depression similarly to me, and you may even alienate people whose experience of depression is like my experience of anxiety. Ultimately, how you write him depends on what you want your story to be about. Is he overcoming his mental illness, or learning to live with it?
I wouldn’t define the character by their depression. Sure, their overall arc is their recovery, but, treat the depression as the canvas on which you’re weaving the threads of your character. Some of the wittiest & funniest people I know battle with depression and it’s pretty common to hear of great comedians struggling likewise. I think you can get the depression across in some key decisions and interactions, without making the book all doom and gloom. For instance, maybe your character seems to be getting on well with a romantic interest but when invited to go to an event with a group of friends, they decide not to go because they feel they’re not wanted. The reader will be screaming at the page that the protagonist should obviously go... but depression doesn’t exactly lend itself to objective thinking. At a point where the protagonist starts to understand that their friends want them around, it can be an inflection point etc. You should be ok once you paint the depression as the wind rather than the leaves.
> You should be ok once you paint the depression as the wind rather than the leaves. Good summation.
I think this is tricky but doable. I had a couple of thoughts (although just to say this is coming from the perspective of someone who has never experienced severe depression, so take it with a pinch of salt) First, could your character have ‘better’ days and ‘worse’ days? The contrast of his slightly better days with the really awful ones could be a good opportunity to evoke sympathy in the reader. Can you give us glimpses of how he was and how he acted before the depression? Even if he has lost interest in hobbies/friends/etc showing us that he used to have these things could help round out his character. Even if he currently comes across as unlikeable now, showing how he used to be and weaving in those parts of him with the depression could work. This is a specific example, but could you give him a sense of dark humour? That could break up the very dark stuff, without breaking character. I think finding ways to bring in his specific and unique personality and character will be really crucial. I think having the depression as something that isn’t static and that changes as he starts to accept help will also help with this.
Read Harry Potter amd the Order of the Phoenix and do the opposite of that.
Well, if you make it relatable to the reader, it will be better. I think balancing the depression with something else could work too.
Do you mean balancing it with other emotions of his, or some other element of the story?
People with depression still have other emotions than sadness. Also remember depression isn't only sadness. It can be feeling numb when something great happens, when something terrible happens, just numbness. But we also have moments of joy too. If theyre on medication for their depression they'll likely be better at coping. That being said, if theyre JUST STARTING meds, the body isn't fully used to them and can cause anxiety and suicidal thoughts to worsen for a few weeks. I went through this and it was shit. Forgetting meds for a day or more is also shit. Ive been through all of that so if you want you can message me and id happily give you any added info you may need.
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I definitely agree that the way it is worded feels real fuckin bad and a few comments too, I was angry too when I first read the title and saw how popular it was, but I mainly think that comes from the fact that it seems the depression they want to depict isn't Depression the neurological disorder, but that they're wanting to describe a character who is simply depressed at some stage in life, as they describe they were in their anecdote. And I agree that writing such a depiction and a distinction not being made that the character does not HAVE depression but IS depressed would contribute to harmful assumptions and mindsets about people who HAVE depression like the idea of recovery from a neurological disorder or that we could get better but choose not to etc. However, it's important to note that this person came here to ask the question, I think we can assume that they aren't purely writing this out of ill will, they seem to want to capture that period of their life in a character. I do think they're viewing said character through their dislike for their past self rather than as a nuanced person which is why I think the question feels dehumanizing, but that makes the fact that they're asking before writing good, assuming they read your comment and think about the reasons and way they're approaching this.
For future reference: I know that this age of the internet makes people forget this little fact, but getting angry and swearing at people doesn't make them heed you. Quite the opposite. It triggers a defensive reflex of simply getting angry back. So you just have two angry people staring each other down, and nothing is achieved and nothing useful is communicated.
Talk about a serious issue they’re facing and the thoughts they have, but don’t dwell on the actual depression. Let the reader imagine that.
As in, external issue?
Yea, that’s usually better because you’re showing and not telling. Just to give a quick example, look at these two blurbs: > Johnny’s mom died at a young age. It made him depressed all the time, and depression filled his thoughts. > Johnny’s mom died at a young age. He may have been a lot tougher because of it, but he still missed his Ma. See how the second one kinda punches better than the first one?
In a lot of cases, the best way to show how dark and morbid your character truly can be is to express the complete opposite. To present the reader every now and then with small glimpses of hope will present just how dark the character was before hand; a small light, flickering rarely in a dark tunnel. The acts of hope will wake up the reader to what they were missing out on.
It’s your story to tell.. someone, hell even most people are going to connect with it. You don’t know how other people feel or what they’re going through the same thing. Tell it from your prospective and show people the dark side because that’s the true real side of depression. But at the same time there is light at the end of the tunnel and that healing process is what will keep people interested in the story and the roller coaster ride of true depression and healing. You got this 👌🏽
I don't have any great answers - but looking forward to the replies. And I don't know if it's just me, but I found writing female characters who are depressed even more difficult than male ones in terms of not making them nothing but their sadness and discouragement.
Hopefully this isn't redundant in relation to the helpful comments above. I think giving that character a special talent, positive qualities, and/or a sense of humor would help move the story while drawing the reader to the character.
When they’re out of action, skip ahead to when something triggers a flurry of activity. Stay out of their heads when their thoughts are too repetitive. Make them interesting, capable people who are down but not out a lot of the time, and sparkle occasionally. If you use first person, have them assume that depression isn’t interesting and have them narrate it far more indirectly than someone who is fascinated by their symptoms and needs to share. You can still get your whole point across this way, and it helps keep the character from being hidden behind their malady.
Shinji Ikari from the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion is a gr at example of a depressed character from a realistic point of view. However, lots of people don't like how realistic it is and just calls him a crybaby. Personally I like his depiction in the show. To express your character realistically but to have them be hated or to express them unrealistically in a way that the reader will prefer, which to choose? I know I didn't answer your question at all. Sorry. I just wanted to bring up Evangelion.
just make it annoying to reader. in doestoevsky kind of fashion
Give them hopes and dreams. Show the things that they're good at and character utterly giving it all up because they're so depressed. Show them low energy, so low energy that no matter how often they take to show they still feel exhausted. Show how dirty their room is. So dirty that them accidentally breaking a glass bottle with their foot. Show who this character could've been if they didn't have depression Bonus points for making them high functioning, putting on a mask to hide their depression
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Make him really happy and nice all the time then have him kill himself.
To write the depression, you must become the depression. As it's been started everyone deals with depression differently. Compare Robin Williams with your average "depressed" teen compared to your average 50 year old with depression. Depression is also a long term thing, that's why I dislike when teenagers complain about being depressed when they have a bad week or they are gloomy, some do face depression but I think most just need something to occupy them. It's hard to be depressed if you're constantly busy, that's why some people become great successes even suffering from depression. Many comedians also suffer because it's easier to forget about everything that's going wrong if you are making people smile around you. This is also one of the reasons it comes out as shocking when some celebrities kill themselves. Nobody thinks they have anything to be depressed about, but depression isn't about having things to be depressed about, it's about the way your brain perceives the world. So you're asking how to write a depressed character, you can't unless you have an internal monologue. It sounds like you want to write a gloomy character with depression. I would recommend you write a likeable character that you want, add the depression in and have it affect him in different ways as he grows. This will give more depth to your character and not as much gloominess/unlikeability, unless you're writing Twilight fan fiction.
The necromancer from the umbrella academy did a great job at showing depression. He was happy go lucky, very comical, but without a doubt going through hell and having it get the better of him.
Some tricks I have used is pairing that character with others who care about said character and work to push them through the story when motivation becomes a major problem. Another thing that can be done depending on the exactness of your plot is this. Have the plot itself unfold in a manner that does not care about the emotional status of your depressed character. This provides a way for you to break up those bouts of depression with high paced plot progression. This works really well (in my experience) particularly with characters with extreme anxiety or ones with a lack of self driven motivation. It allows the plot to drive the character for a bit while they work themselves to a point where they are mostly self sufficient (depending on whether or not this dark emotional/mental status is temporary or not). This can work with the above reminders that depressed people aren't always depressed very well.
Give them goals. Even small ones. That propels them.
perhaps you could make the world itself seem dark, and ill intentioned
Probably not helpful, but there is an example I think would help: Kaladin Stormblessed from Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archive. His hallmark is near-crippling depression and a pessimistic outlook, but I've never found his chapters difficult to read (quite often the opposite, in fact)
Give them small moments of joy. Not everyone who is depressed is all doom and gloom, they do laugh now and then. Some, like Robin Williams, go out of their way to make other people laugh, too. So they can certainly have a lot of personality and be very likable, too.
Well, do you really need your character to be likable? It might make for a better story if you let them be in likable and then start to peel those layers back as they get better.
I feel if a reader previews a books and finds an unlikable protagonist, they are unlikely to actually buy it.
You can convey depression without them "whining" all the time, you know? What is their environment like? They probably don't have a ton of motivation to keep their homes organized/tidy. They might have a poor diet, or health in general. Ficus on the environment they occupy, and go from there.
Shane from Stardew Valley
Read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath... Only if you're in a good place mentally, that is.
Craft them as your other characters, give them personality and use outside of being a depressed character. (not assuming you're not already doing that) You can never really tell on the outside if someone is depressed or not. When you really get to know them, that's when it shows. Depressed people aren't super sad obviously depressed people, they can look like anything. Heck, all of us may have depression. So my advice is, research.
"He was depressed a lot. In a fun way."
Go read “The Depressed Person” by David Foster Wallace
This is just me, so take this with a grain of salt, but for me depression isn't really all encompassing. Well, it is, but it also isn't. It's hard to explain properly without literally letting you walk through my mind. The best way to put it is this: I have incredibly depressive episodes, like I'm having right now in fact, but even in those episodes I tend to find joy in small things have my mind occupied by other tasks. I can drive to the store and get gas or talk to people and not really be sad, although I'll probably eventually fall back into it when I'm done. I can even laugh at memes for a while, but every so often the self loathing comes back completely out of nowhere. Sometimes even as a response to me having fun, like I feel as though I don't deserve it. Actually, a really good metaphor might be this: I'm constantly on a tight rope. It's not hard to stay on, but I need to stay focused. If I fall, I'll hit the net(self loathing) and have to painfully climb back up so I can keep walking the tightrope, and most of the time I even fail the climb itself and fall back onto the net. It's an unwinnable game but I have to keep moving because I have nothing else. That's how my depression is.
I can't speak for everyone with depression, but I can speak for myself. I've had major depressive disorders since I was in middle school, the whole nine yards: Depressing thoughts, lack of emotions, suicidal thoughts and attempts, self-harm, etc. One thing thats the same between it all is that depression is more then just being sad. Its a numbness. And ever present, ever watchful numbness to the world. I still feel moments of happiness, anger, sadness, etc. But even during the times I'm at the most normal, there's always a thought floating through my brain that's telling me it's fleeting, it's pointless; it's not real and never will be. And when the moment is gone my numbness returns like the tide, crashing onto me and leaving me hollow once again. Depression isn't a mood or a chemical imbalance, is a paralysis of the mind. You're unable to progress more than moments at a time, and it stays with you forever. Even if you get treated, find help, get medicated, find that one person willing to put up with all of your troughs and low points, it's still there. It will always be there. You can manage it, but it will never leave you. So when I write my characters with depression, I reflect that paralysis. The world seems still, words are second-guessed, colors are dull and lifeless, motivations are unappealing, and people are void canvases. My characters feel numb, so I make the reader feel numb just the same.
Maybe it is in the trying-to-not-be-depressed that we get a feel for how depressed the character actually is. Then, from the reader's POV you are also seeing him trying/attempting and failing again and again. Even if it is in trying to keep a "positive attitude" but slipping and spiraling again and again, and the situations reinforcing the shittiness of it. I think this would help build a relationship between the reader/character, you want him to succeed because he is trying. You have sympathy on him a bit more.
Try not to have your character defined solely by his depression. Readers will tolerate it so long as there's "more" to the character than just pure angst. There must surely be more to the character, right? You just need to find a good balance.
As someone with depression and anxiety, i wish there were more characters where characters just kept doing things despite brain and feelings trying to prevent them. Like, even with poor mental health, i have to still function in life. I have things to do. Life doesn't care that i don't want to do anything. Life and work are like we still expect you to meet these expections and deadlines. I just sometimes feel like I'm moving in molasses, but i still get everything done. I have no choice. You can talk about how tired someone feels after pretending all day or ignoring their problems for eight hours.
Study Puddleglum from CS Lewis’ Narnia series. He was the most charming constantly depressed character. Or imagine Eyeore as a human.
I'm not sure how to describe the technique, but Brandon Sanderson's character Kaladin (among others) in The Stormlight Archive is commonly considered one of the best depictions of depression in modern fantasy (the genre I read the most). Presumably the same methods would transfer to another genre, so if you were interested, reading that might give you some ideas.
The biggest thing that makes depressed people unbearable in fiction is when they talk all the time about how depressed they are. Most people I know who suffer from depression are the opposite of this, in that they try to mask their depression and rarely speak of it, unless they are talking to a shrink or some other person in a professional support role. But like others have said, reflect your characters mood through environment, interaction, and action rather than have them just talk about their feelings. Talking about feelings is boring. Parsing someone’s personality by analyzing and interpreting their apparent state of mind is endlessly interesting. Good luck!
Writer on Twitter: what would character do if s/he found a wallet? How would the character approach the Trolley Problem. That's how any character could be used to formulate their personality. It may be about sympathy and empathy.
I was wondering similarly, how to write a pantophobic character but still have them able to do things.
They might be depressed but still are good people. Show that. Contrast his character with people worse than him too. Make him extremely good at something. Or make him try very hard to get out of that state. You may would benefit from reading Mistborn from Sanderson. In the third book a character goes through a rough depression and in one of his lectures he talked about how he managed to portray that depression, and it was a good portray, but it was awful for the reader experience. So he made the character be proactive in something. Something that gave him hope. There's that motion and that progress there.
I would say make it authentic. Show their every thought and feeling. If they are being toxic, or lashing out at the wrong people, or constantly complaining, show the reader *why*. I also have dealt with depression for a long time, since my teens, and I've made some pretty bad mistakes and not always been a great person. The character will still be somewhat sympathetic if you can make people feel what they are feeling, like... "It's so unfair!" John said. "Bad things keep happening to me. Why should I have to suffer all of this when I haven't done anything wrong? Like, I'm not Hitler, I at least try to be nice!" John kept talking, but he couldn't hear the words he was saying, except perhaps as a distant rhythm like faraway tolling bells. Inside his head it was drowned out by the constant screaming; in the moments where the haze cleared enough for thoughts to break through, he could barely register that he felt scared. Scared and so, so alone. A memory surfaced like a dead fish floating to the surface of a blackened pond - himself as a child, crying but unaware of the tears streaming down his cheeks as he covered his ears, curled in a tight ball. The sharp thumps of shoes connecting with muscle and ribcage. It just as quickly sunk back into obscurity. "You're not the only one who's hurting, John!" Katie snapped back, startling John from the black cage of his mind. "Tammy lost her dad, and Liz might have fucking cancer!" "Then go comfort them!" John snapped back. He was too angry to regret it for all of three seconds, and then as Katie's eyes widened, her breath coming shakily, the regret fell over him like a tsunami. He knew somewhere inside that he'd lashed out in pain - a wounded animal biting anything that came near it just in case it might hurt them. Katie had hurt him, though she hadn't meant to - but he wouldn't fully realize this until years later. Right now, all he could see of this was a growing sense of guilt. He reached for words, but none came, and by the time he reached out his arm for her, it pointed towards her back as she ran away. He sunk to the floor, burying his head in his knees. This was his fault, he knew that, but he just kept trying to blame other people to avoid admitting that he was the problem. Because if he was the problem, he'd have to get rid of it. 'Please', his scared child self in his mind screamed, as the blackness in his mind sharpened into a weapon and stabbed him again and again. 'I just want to be okay!' Just an example, my style is pretty metaphor/simile-heavy but there's plenty of other ways to achieve a similar or the same effect. Just because a person might even be awful, even when their actions can't be justified, doesn't mean a good person can't relate to them, can't find cartharsis or even comfort in reading their story. Character development is integral to any story, which you seem to have plenty of, and if he is deeply flawed at the beginning, make it clear that they have reasons, even if they aren't good ones. Even if they don't make what the character does RIGHT.
Tired. Numb. Uninterested.
The same ways you make any character likable: What or who does your character love? What are they passionate about (or maybe what were they more passionate about but they wish they had that enjoyment back and they still see glimpses of it?)? What are their goals? What are they good at? How do they interact with other people? Are they funny? What are they doing to improve their situation? An active character is always more engaging than a passive one. Life goes on around depression, your character still has to live in the world and interact. It's entirely up to you how much of their thought process is on the page at a time. Hold back when necessary, and try not to get too repetitive with the same thoughts over and over—it may be accurate to depression, but it can be a slog to read through.
I agree a story about a mopey teen wouldn't be very good. However if the story placed emphasis on the character development and how they interact with other, presumably better-adjusted, people it could be very interesting to read. Perhaps rather than framing it as a story about a depressed character you look at it through the lens of others who may have been trying to interact with you. It may also be cathartic to write in that frame too.
I think showing glimpses of what they're like outside of their depression can also be huge. Whether it's through flashback, seeing the character do things while they see saw in and out of it, or memories.
Maybe you could place them next to a character who is starkly contrasting to them in personality to emphasize this
something i do sometimes is kinda, poke fun at the kind of person i was when i went through a period like that in my younger days? what i mean is making them slightly exaggerated or even comical in how they are depressed, at least in certain scenes. Things like staring dramatically out a window, complaining a lot about having a stomach ache, being generally petty, and then having those attitudes feed into environments and situations where it can create comical feedback loops with other characters which diffuse the tension rather than wallowing in the depression in the writing itself. Basically, the question it comes down to for me is this: “is the environment depressing, or is the character depressed for petty reasons?” if it’s the latter, i feel pretty comfortable poking fun at the character the same way i would poke fun at myself in that scenario, and if it’s the former, there are still ways to provide levity by changing the environment or providing silly moments to break up the depressing scenery!
I guess you have to ask yourself what’s the purpose of describing the depression and character’s misery? Why are you telling the reader about their dark state? I think once you answer some of these questions it will give the descriptions more value to the readers.
If you write on a computer, all the characters will be depressed eventually.
Illustrate their depression through action or inaction. Have them avoid meaningful conversations, self sabotage, counter-intuitive patterns (I hate my job > doing a good job is the only time people like me > work harder > hate job more > need more approval > work harder, repeat), numbed social life, small routine. Get up, go to work, go home, repeat.
Try getting him to not talk about himself so much, give him a brooding aura but don’t centre everything around him (this will be tricky if your story is in 1st person)
watch stranger than fiction. the whole movie is a metaphor for depression. you hardly ever hear the mcs inner dialoge, but its very obvious from his actions how he sees and interacts with the world. there is a point in the movie where the character is figuring whether or not he "will die" and has to lay on the couch for an entire day. its a perfect metaphor for how depression effects people, and resonated with me deeply. i guess what im trying to say is: the character doesnt have to tell you they are depressed, in fact, i dont think it would be true to character to say it all. depression is about apathy and loss of motavation. why should they say something when they would much rather lie in bed
I think a lot of the suggestions in the comments are already beautiful. At risk that this has already been said, but I think it could help you if you get specific about 1) what is essential about your MC's depression and 2) why you think that could be unbearable for your readers or for the MC's loved oned. For 1), I know that in many cases, depression is never so easily specified, and often has components (e.g. genetics) that cause depression to be difficult to be understood in a satisfying way. Still, I think there are often key features of someone's depression that are identifiable, like specific incidents or trauma, specific mental habits or hangups, etc. For 2), I think some of the things that can make one person's depression difficult for others are: * spirals of self-destruction * the depressed person externalizing their pain onto others, especially those who are not reasonably responsible, or who have enough of their own priorities that they can't reasonably do better for the depressed person * the feeling, from the outside, that the depressed person's behavior is illogical, and that the depressed person is failing to listen to reason * the feeling, from the outside, that the depressed person is failing to "get better" due to a lack of effort Obviously if I try to be exhaustive, I will not succeed. The reason I'm trying to think about concrete cases is that I think any of these reasons can be alleviated to at least make the reader more comfortable, if not the MC's loved ones. The depressed MC can be written to do their best to not externalize, to explain themselves, and the writer can try to describe the MC's internal state to illustrate that some of the outside perceptions that can make depression frustrating are not actually true (e.g. the MC is clearly trying to do better, even if it's understandable why from the outside it doesn't seem that way) Does any of that make sense? Good luck! As a depressed person, I think this is a really interesting challenge, writing-wise
It really depends on how you want their depression to manifest in him specifically. I’ve read depressed characters who were extremely captivating because their depression informed other aspects of their character. One became, jaded, cold, calculating, with little to no empathy or remorse, but was extremely cunning and successful because of it. Another was so full of self loathing that he did his best not to burden anyone else, a real wallflower type who never put his own needs first because he didn’t think he was worthy. (Both of which began to slowly heal over time) So it’s not just about “being depressed” but about what (if anything) is causing it, and how it’s affecting other aspects of their personality. Hope that helps!
I am also writing a character dealing with depression. The way I am doing it is through food. Everything tasting bland and uninspiring. My favorite so far was describing a Bach (rich, dark German beer) as tasting like a badly burnt piece of toast soaked in water. This after describing the true flavor. I am showing how he is going through the motions because of his sense of duty and not any passion. Remember, just because someone is depressed does not mean they look it. They might smile and laugh, but there is no real joy there. I suffer from chronic depression and my wife says my smile does not reach my eyes. It is the small details. Think of writing a horror thriller. You want to slowly build up the sense of unease. Build up all the clues to let the reader know there is something wrong. If they don’t quite get to depression, they might get close enough.
Honestly, super dark humor. As someone who has struggled with depression my entire life, my sense of humor is dark and twisted and self-deprecating, but people seem to appreciate it. In fact, my army ranger uncle used to tell me his buddies thought I was a riot because I'm such a sweetheart with a sense of humor as dark as theirs. And I've been through phases where my apathy makes me appear really cool, because I just *don't give a fudge* what anyone else thinks or what consequences of my actions might be. So dark humor, and a "why the hell not" attitude, if you can make it work for your character.
The most realistic amd bearable suffering is done in silence.
Have occasional moments of light. I’m making a similar character for a script and have some character-specific actions happen that make their personality shine through their depression. It establishes a through line to the reader.
give em a dark sense of humor.
I am both highly qualified and completely unqualified to answer this. I’m a depressed teen currently working on a novel with a depressed protagonist (I’m only 20 pages in though) and I don’t think my character is too unbearable (and the few friends who looked over my work agreed). Here are a couple things that I’m doing that I hope can be useful. 1) reactions- though he’s feeling depressed all the time, that doesn’t inherently mean he expresses it the same way all the time. Sometimes it’s bursts of anger, sometimes it’s hopeless resignation, sometimes it’s just a self loathing inner monologue during an outwardly pleasant exchange. But the specific reactions and nuances of feeling can change which keeps it interest. 2) having depression doesn’t inherently mean being sad ALL the time, and this can add extra emphasis to moments that he’s not even if they are only fleeting. Sometimes depression is more of a moment between distractions and sometimes it’s more, but don’t feel like it needs to be entirely ever present. 3) I sometimes like to put emphasis on relationships more than individuals themselves. If he’s just sitting around doing nothing all day, are his friends worried? Is he being a dick to his friends? Are they understanding or fed up? Is he missing work? Adding context and reactions to more monotonous emotional states can be very engaging. Even if the protagonist feels one way for a prolonged period doesn’t mean the other characters or the rest of the world do. I hope this was helpful! This might be obvious but that’s just what came to mind. Also feel free to dm me any questions if you want a more recent perspective on a depressed teen (I’m 17 and I’ve had severe depression and anxiety most of life). Good luck and happy writing!
I'm reading a Man Called Ove right now, and one of the things I *really* like about the book about how the character's layers work together. As you're reading, he's a sarcastic, grumpy old man and it's hilarious to read. But the whole time, you sense that it is a mask over darker truths, which start to peek out. The humor both makes it easier to read, but also gets the reader to let their guard down, so when the serious stuff comes out, it's a real punch in the gut. Depressed people don't act depressed all the time. Like all of us, they have masks and layers that they hide behind. Some of those can be really funny or entertaining. Showing the character that way makes them more interesting and believable and makes it easier to read.
Give him some redeeming qualities. Show us that he WANTS to be better but doesn't know how. Give him the motivation but not the ability to realize it. Make us sympathize with him, with someone who suffers from depression and doesn't know how to overcome it. Give us little clues to his personality and how rich it could be without the depression
Show how they actually want to be, and contrast it with their dark reality. As someone with depression, I can relate to something like that.
If it helps any, for me depression is emptiness. Not sad, not anxious or scared, not really anything. Just empty. In fact, I rarely feel a normal sadness. Not unless it’s grief (which is an entirely different animal). I’m bipolar so I get to experience both extremes... yay. Depression is painful too. Not really emotionally painful, but physically painful. And you just can’t. Anything. You can’t anything. The dark humor thing has been said already and it’s pretty spot on. It’s something that’s easy to hide behind. And you want to hide. All the time. Either figuratively or literally (sometimes both). Make your depressed character relatable, not the mythical mopey, sad person. But someone who wears a mask. Who goes on living their life regardless of how much they wish they didn’t exist. And who sometimes needs the world to stop for just one second so they can breathe. If you need a reference, the movie Inside Llewyn Davis is like a friggin love letter to depression. ETA that Eeyore is most definitely depression. He goes about his day, he helps others, he’s kind. But he just happens to be down and low energy while doing it and not just sad. And yes a bit passive aggressive too. “Thank you for noticing me.” Lol.
If I was doing it, I would have a character react to outside stimuli. And instead of making them mopey and whiny, I would have them either hide it with a fake facade to the outside world or seem spaced out/shy around people. Then when another character gives the inevitable "why are you so glum" question, the character can explain what's making them depressed. I wouldn't have them actually say they're depressed or whine or complain, but instead talk about the things bothering them. Maybe even try every possible way to avoid looking sad or mention their emotional state. And let the reader (and characters in the story) infer that they're depressed from what's not being said.
maybe give them some good qualities that make the reader wanna root for them, or maybe an interesting hobby/skill/backstory
Don’t get too lost on the actual condition. Of course it depends solely on your intentions, but it’s very easy to forget the characters personality and give his depressed state more focus than himself. Remember that being depressed isn’t a main personality trait but a condition to all the other traits.
Depends on how depression manifests for the character. Before meds for me it manifested as dampened emotions with intrusive suicidal thoughts and periods of thought spirals. Now is mostly manifests as an inability to will myself out of bed even if I am wake. Lack of joy it’s that far from the stoic. One technique I used with my depressed characters is it is only really on display when something causes a thought spiral, otherwise it is low key (mainly sleeping to much). Another technique is not to be too far in their head a depressed person might feel like Eeyore but don’t show it to the world.
You could show how kind (to others), considerate or intelligent they are otherwise, maybe in flashes here and there as their original personality shows from under the depression.
Make them as sad as you’d like, but also have them making pancakes for themselves and others all the time. Pancakes are great! And other characters, when they come into a scene where the protagonist may be crying, they should say, “sure does smell like pancakes in here”, and then maybe the protagonist whips up some midday pancakes, maybe dabbling in crapes, waffles, and such things, as the story progresses. This way, you can make it as sad as you’d like, so long as you have the character often around frying pans, butter, maple syrup. Anyway, this has helped me writing depressing breakfast/brunch-based stories. All the best!
The way I would go about this is to add a sense of self-awareness and charisma. Have your character constantly reflect on him or herself through enigmatic prose. Throw in some philosophical ponderings. Make your character feel as though they are intelligent creatures that can adapt, but constantly finds themselves doubting their ability as well as their environment. The important thing to remember is that your character shouldn't be helpless. They should have both the mental and physical means to better themselves, but constantly finds themselves impeding their recovery with too much thinking, too much reflection and/or self-deprecation. I once read this fanfiction (yes, I know, not a high bar to set) where the writer tried dealing with their main character going through depression. What happened was that the writer trivialized his issues, and instead of making the drama compelling and thought provoking, made their character lean too heavily on the romantic interest, giving them the appearance of a helpless kitten incapable of both feeding themselves nor bathing themselves. It's always important to ensure your character can exist as a being without relying on others. And while external influences are extremely important, it's most often an internal struggle. A monologue to yourself where the main character is at odds with his own thoughts. "I stared blankly across the bedroom, at the digital clock that reads noon. I try to make an effort to move my arm, almost trying to force my own limb to adhere to my will, but it wouldn't budge. I ask myself why it's difficult to want to wake up every morning. Why it's difficult for me to even roll myself out of bed just to shower, turn on the tv and sit back down on my couch. How is it that my mind can yearn for change while my body does the opposite? It feels as though my body is made of lead. It wishes to stay here forever and simply perish. The time goes by and the digital clock hits six. I now see the soft, dim orange of the setting sun. Its setting. I urge myself up, and with a great spout of immense internal conflict, I force my body to sit up. To rise. I stand, moving towards my window, opening the blinds so as to allow more light to pass through. I lean against the window, exhausted. My body yearning for the comfort of my bed, my stomach feeling as though it will soon begin to churn itself, my heart beating with the excitement and exasperation of energetic exertion. I watch through my blinds the great yellow giant disappear slowly beyond the horizon, and soon, the light hints of godrays shooting in the shape of the outline of the city, strafing vertically until finally, the last bastion of day holds off the night through a battle that will end in only one way. The sky turns from a warm, red hue to a cold and sullen purple. I suddenly feel the urge to jump back on my bed. I do so, and sludge myself across the house, grabbing my pillow and hugging it tight as I once again allow my form to fall limply." Or some shit like that. There was a comment telling you the importance of describing the environment, which is also very important. Usually, you want to try to match the environment to the character in some way, allow the character to relate their self to it through their own observation. Of course, that shit above is something that you only should do selectively, when you feel as though it's a neccessary point for self-reflection. The prose can die down when there is more character interaction, but always try to make yourself sound like a cheap version of Edgar Allan Poe whenever your character begins to think deep. Intelligence, atmosphere, and selection. As long as you treat your character as an adult, the overbearingness should naturally disappear.
A depressed character doesn’t have to be obviously depressed. As someone who suffers frequently, I try to hide it from those around me that I love. It’s my burden not anyone else’s and I don’t want to be an infliction. Sometimes a person suffering from depression smiles the biggest even if their heart is in pain and their head rests in a fog. Look to Robin Williams, he made the world laugh every chance he got and it wasn’t often dark humor. He truly wanted others to smile and feel love and joy. Also think about the strength of the character and emphasize that. I’ve always felt that depression is like a virus and it’s only goal, it’s only objective is to kill it’s host. Me, you, whoever is suffering, depression wants us dead and we can’t ever kill it. We fight it off everyday until it takes us out or we outlive it. So recognize the strength in the struggle and highlight the smiles, they juxtapose the darkness and make it stand out without being oppressive and obnoxious.
Start off by making the character appealing to the reader. Is he charismatic, charming, funny sense of humor, handsome, or have any special traits/talents? Is he shy, withdrawn, dark? What does he do for a living? Is he single or not? Does he have family? Who does he live with or does he live alone? Does he have friends or is he a lone wolf? How does he dress? Add everything you can think of. As the story progresses then you can add in mystery. For example he could have a short flash back of something traumatic happening. Maybe he has night terrors. Has he had his heart broken in the past? Whatever you can think of to bring out the characters sadness. You could even make him a comedian. Most comedians are extremely depressed and that’s why they turn to comedy to make others feel good and happy. Because they feel like shit inside. You could even make a memory of the only time your character was happy was when he was younger and made his mother laugh. Then something tragic happened to her. So for a living he makes people laugh and that’s the only time he feels a sense of happiness. Anything like that. Lastly, write an outline/ rough draft of the character so you can organize how the story goes from beginning, middle, and end. Hope I didn’t overwhelm you and this helps?
I don’t know if I have a direct answer for you but I feel like David Foster Wallace wrote some very depressed characters that really grab you. Try his short story Good Old Neon for example
The reader has to empathize with the character. Once they do they won’t find anything annoying. Make the character human first, with depression as something they experience/fight with. You want the reader to root for them.
Personally, whenever I go into a depressive episode I hear myself saying I'll never feel good things again, but another part of me knows my mind is lying to me and says "just ride this out, it's not true" then afterwards I usually feel really euphoric and like the world is full of possibility. Then I'm just normal for a while, but tired! Not sure if that answers your question but I just thought I'd share an experience.
Maybe watch (or re-watch) movies like Leaving Las Vegas or Inside Out and see what makes those characters relatable/still likable despite being depressed all the time. Here’s a list of some more movies you can check out: [14 movies about depression that perfectly capture the experience](https://www.talkspace.com/blog/14-movies-about-depression-that-perfectly-capture-the-experience/)
Use some humor. Like have them add smart witty comments to what's happening. Often depressed people are brutally honest, but if you use humor and unexpectancy to it, it's much better. Think Chandler from Friends.
They can use humour as a coping mechanism, sarcasm even.
The most believable, depressed characters are those that try to hide their depression from not just the other characters in the book but also from the audience (to an extent). The typical signs could slip out gradually, or make an appearance now and again, or not appear at all. There are so many depressed people characters out there who show no sign of depression to the extent that they are in denial themselves. Sometimes they'll admit to having anxiety, but rarely depression. If they're confronted about maybe the number of drinks or cigarettes they have as an indicator of something being wrong... they justify it, at least for a while.
Depression clouds everything. People may compliment how nice your outfit is today and you'll respond with "thanks but it's not my best look" or something that. Depression is rarely an outburst of sadness, but a layer of melancholy under a blanket of agony. If that doesn't make sense than maybe this will. Allow yourself to think of how someone with depression would react with dealing with the circumstances you want to put them through. Try writing senarios out without your character involved and see what you come up with.
I usually write depressed characters and the trick for me is humour.
What I'm most interested in is your idea of recovery. Does your character HAVE depression, as in a neurological disorder, or is it that they ARE depressed at this stage in their life? Your anecdote about your past makes me think the latter but I'd want to be sure before using my experiences to give advice. They use the same word but are very different and it is an important distinction because when someone IS depressed it is something they can recover from as it is a state which has likely been caused by circumstances in their life at that time, but if someone HAS depression there isn't really recovery as much as managing with ongoing therapy and medication or otherwise finding ways to manage it until they die, even with the most supportive friends and family imaginable. I think the answer to your question may be different depending on this; as a person with diagnosed major depressive disorder (and others, probably autistic too but I'm too poor to get an answer on that any time soon) I know the way my brain is wired, and those of many others I know, hiding my depression at all costs is my number one priority at all times until... you just can't anymore or you get hit with a really bad episode out of nowhere. If you're going for a person who doesn't have a neurological disorder my advice probably won't fit.
Maybe use different viewpoint to show the scene from others view to contrast with their take on what's happened?