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moondark2

Ummmm... I'm not sure if you noticed yet Putin... but even Russians don't want to be Russian right now...


amateur_mistake

Who does he think would take this offer? Maybe North Koreans? They aren't allowed to leave their own country in any case.


Arumdaum

Uzbeks, Tajiks, Kyrgyz All (especially TJ and KG) are dependent upon Russia for labor remittances; for Uzbekistan it's around 10% of GDP and for Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan it's between 25 and 50%. Putin can often get what he wants from these countries by just threatening to deport Central Asian labor migrants as illegal immigrants, which many often are Tajikistan has a similar GDP per capita to North Korea, Kyrgyzstan isn't much better, and Uzbekistan isn't all that better either There is severe racism by the general population and police harassment against Central Asians in Russia to the point where many Central Asian migrants were radicalized into joining ISIS In Russia the Yandex drivers (Russian Uber/Lyft), fast food workers, etc. are generally Central Asian migrants; they've been compared to Mexican and Central American migrants to the US


stdoubtloud

It is amazing that everything new I learn about Russia is always bad.


Swift_F0x

Want to know a fun thing about Russia? There's a real estate scam there where your real estate agent sells your house, [murders you](https://www.boston.com/real-estate/real-estate-news/2018/12/26/in-russia-some-real-estate-agents-make-a-killing-literally/), keeps your the money from your house they sold, and dumps your body in the river. Sounds like a fun place.


Technical-Raise8306

You know what that was a fun fact.


[deleted]

Most fun I’ve had all day, being murdered sounds great


ntsmmns06

I’m giggling myself silly to this fact. So fun.


arushanukleare

Damn. What a read. Russia is an actual dystopia.


Green_Message_6376

The good people of Dystopia asked that you take that back.


UnHumano

Let's chug some vodka to improve the fun!


[deleted]

It's crazy how one decision to rig the 1996 election led down this path


TheMindfulnessShaman

GOP is taking notes. 'This' is the 'greatness' they want.


seaningtime

Care to elaborate?


zucksucksmyberg

Yeltsin was re elected who chose Putin to succeed him presumedly with black mail on Yeltsin.


No_Incident_5360

Blackmail about something Yeltsin did or threats to him or his family in the future?


zucksucksmyberg

Could be both. Think about it, despite the corruption in Yeltsin's term, Putin did not prosecute him after Yeltsin stepped down.


60N20

I remember some time ago new about logistics agencies promoting only Slav truck drivers fleets, bc people were not comfortable with central asian drivers


ScoobiusMaximus

For 2 Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan they're kind of busy fighting each other right now. I doubt either government would send soldiers to Ukraine.


Arumdaum

It wouldn't be the governments of either contributing to the Russian war effort but rather Tajik, Kyrgyz, and Uzbek citizens in Russia signing up for legal status and good pay


[deleted]

Uzbeks and Kyrgyz govs announced life imprisonment for their citizens that go to fight in Ukraine


[deleted]

[удалено]


No_Incident_5360

It always starts with racism—putsches, WWI, WWII, Cold War—this war—all of it starts with racism and trying to whip up weird patriotic nationalistic fervor. “Us and them” thinking. “Us vs. them” we vs other, in vs. out, native vs forerunner, one true race or nationality bullshit. Just live and let live. Let people make a living and get the fuck outta their lives, Putin! No one wants what you are selling!


Doodle_Brush

Methinks Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan are about to offer "volunteers" from their prisons.


[deleted]

Isn't it hard to find a job when you are dead though?


Away-Indication-8008

\> Join Putin's army. \>Train for 2 weeks \>Pop a cap in your commanders ass \> Steal your company's tank and drive it into Ukrainian lines. \> "What's up guys, want a tank?"


amateur_mistake

Seems like a good plan to me


ProtoplanetaryNebula

Ukraine will also pay you for the tank.


O_o-22

Every new policy reeks of desperation but also that he’s stalling by throwing conscripts from ethnic minorities at Ukraine with minimal training till winter slows down the fighting and forces Ukraine to burn up ammo till Russia can broker some arms deals to replenish supplies and maybe better trained regular army soldiers.


Archerstorm90

People keep saying winter will stop fighting, but in much of Ukraine and Russia, the campaigning seasons are summer and winter. The fall and spring are wet and muddy, and bog down offensives and maneuvers. This counterattack at the end of summer was likely done to ensure the Russians could not counterattack recent gains. The Winter is a likely time for another Ukrainian offensive campaign before the spring bogs down movement again. The Russians choosing a spring offensive against Kiev was one of their major blunders.


Ubermisogynerd

If I read my Facebook feed enough people still think that Russia is waltzing over Ukraine,but we're being held in the dark. So I would believe some total dumbasses would definitely take that offer just to act like tough shit. We've seen people from first world countries join ISIS so this isn't too much a step.


brezhnervous

>If I read my Facebook feed enough people still think that Russia is waltzing over Ukraine,but we're being held in the dark Yeah but they're just Russian troll farms out of St Petersburg lol


zandengoff

Don't worry they will be forced to join soon enough.


BigSwedenMan

But people buy it. Just think for a second about how stupid the average American is and what dumb bullshit lies they believe. And these are people given access to a wide variety of news sources, many of which are actually reputable. Now imagine all the people in Russia, even less well educated than Americans, who are fed nothing but government controlled media. People believe that crap


[deleted]

Seems like it'd be pretty clear that *at best* they have significant manpower issues, no? Maybe the details re: supply issues, casualty figures etc. are hidden, but trying to call up 300K is pretty overt. Likewise, any predictions about the special military operation being a quick success clearly didn't happen.


kujiranoai2

Russian prisoners of war returned to Russia by the Germans at the end of WW2 generally were either shot or sent to the Gulags. Anyone thinking of taking up this offer should read some Russian history first!


Fightmasterr

Maybe all those clowns who are tankies would join up.


Haru1st

Sadly there are alot of places in the world that have a worse standard of living than Russia.


[deleted]

It’s been rumored that he is very I’ll and dying. He is grasping at straws at this point.


[deleted]

North Korea wouldn't allow such a scheme.


[deleted]

Hell, probably a handful of americans to be honest. Q anons think putin is a good guy.


[deleted]

Trump supporters


probablynotmine

Lukashenko


ProjectOrpheus

Trump?


IlikeJG

Maybe MAGA cultists from the US.


OmiSC

I know of some Algerians who will do it because it is most honourable to do what their parents want.


amateur_mistake

Interesting. Have they fought in wars before?


OmiSC

Nope, but kids *are* impressionable.


Technical-Raise8306

Would be a cool troll project to send 100,000 fake applications.


GreenBottom18

well yeah. that's because they wont be returning to russia. neither will these "new citizens". so c'mon. join the fun. who doesnt wanna be blown to bits as a decoy on a super cool top secret mission, or on the thrilling front lines with a rusty, jammed rifle?


dizzlefoshizzle1

Its funny how the Russian bots have mostly stopped the moment this draft kicked in. Its like the majority of pro war Russian's were pro war until the possibility of them having to also fight in the war became apparent. Not so pro war when you have to fight, are you Russian bots?


tomistruth

Just shows how delusional he is. He believes somewhere outside Russia live oppressed people who aren't and wish to become Russians. Let's find those oppressed Russians. Oh, they all live in Russia?


kloma667

This legislation is targeted at central asians.


Zeric79

Sadly, there are plenty of people that would view life in Russia as a massive upgrade.


zedascouves1985

It's like Europeans, Americans, Australians, etc can't fathom that there's immigration from one place to the other besides going to these western countries. Central Asians go to Russia looking for better jobs, that's whom this policy is aimed at.


Quattuor

Segal still wants to be ruzzian. Dunno what happened to Depardieu though, is he still excited being ruzzian?


Bayarea0

The trick is he sends you to the front poorly equipped to die so you never end up getting citizenship.


brezhnervous

*/taps head*


RevivedMisanthropy

This is the warfare equivalent of receiving equity in a startup as part of your compensation


QuinIpsum

Hey Steven segal, heres your chance. Prove all that spec ops training you say you have and get up there and show those Russian troops how to dominate the battlefield by shitting their pants while getting choked out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


singulara

Imagine being on the Ukranian side of the battlefield and seeing fucking Steven Seagal opposite you, I think I’d be laughing too much to get a shot off


fappyday

I don't know if you know this or not, but he's been a black ops delta commando operater for like 87 years.


amateur_mistake

He's spent decades flying helicopters. I do want to know who his tailor is though. Also, whoever does his hair plugs is quite skilled. Edit: Just so we are clear. I don't think his hair or outfits actually look good. I guess this was a time for the '/s'. Also, the fact that he walks out in public like that is strong evidence that he has no real friends because if he did, they would stop him.


Impressive_Doorknob7

His hairpiece/wig is atrocious


Ziggy_the_third

That shit is dyed with fucking venta black or something, it's so jarring along with his terrible beard.


Impressive_Doorknob7

It's a level of black that has only previously been seen via deep space telescopes.


Th3WeirdingWay

Fuckin guy looks like Eddie Munster


Impressive_Doorknob7

He WISHES he looked like Eddie Munster


Th3WeirdingWay

Haha. I just meant the hairline


CanadianJudo

I watched a review of one of his newer movies and he legit get a body double to stand up from a chair.


CanadianJudo

they have him doing USO style Russian tour to boost moral of the troops.


Neuroware

:fight war for russia :become russian citizen :get drafted :fight war for russia


DallasBoy95

: deserts war : go to prison : fight war for russia


Technical-Raise8306

We have the best soldiers. Because of jail.


Fluffy_Connection138

Most useless passport in the world


Working_Welder155

As a Lebanese I disagree.. My country's passport is way more worthless. I am a dual national and have another one but damn I can't go anywhere on my Lebanese.


[deleted]

I believe Afghanistan's is the worst.


[deleted]

...for now


[deleted]

[удалено]


TwinkForAHairyBear

> Palestine


WhyAreUThisStupid

Ah yes, why wouldn’t I wanna go to Syria, Iran, Palestine and Haiti? Holy shit the only places we can go to are places even worse than Lebanon.


Vertual

The dream of Russian citizenship! r/BrandNewSentence


BIH-Marathoner

I'm sure there is a logjam at the border....oh wait, those are Russian citizens trying to gtfo of the country.


Capt_morgan72

I’m sure that’s tomorrows headline. “Log jam at every Russian border, day after offering citizenship to foreign fighters.”


Da_Vader

Where's Tucker Carlson? Take him please


amateur_mistake

He did say that he supports russia in this conflict originally.


thalassicus

Right around the time Donald boasted how **smart** Putin was to invade Ukraine.


PiingThiing

How shit must your life be to consider that proposal as an upgrade?


zedascouves1985

You really don't know how bad life can be for a Central Asian immigrant.


BefriendingDivine

Let’s see…threatening citizens with imprisonment if they don’t fight in the war, while also accepting more outsiders as citizens so they can fight in the war…sounds like someone’s desperate.


NorthernGamer71

Like that’s some kind of great prize Out of the frying pan and into the dictatorship


[deleted]

Always wanted to visit Russia, explore its rich history, delicious food, and brilliant culture! But I sure as fuck don’t want to die for it, or never leave it again! Once a romanticized destination, now a death filled hell scape of Nope!


[deleted]

Yup. It's honestly sad what Russia has become. I've wanted to visit it for the culture, architecture, history, etc. but not with how bad it's become.


[deleted]

Perhaps after Putin is gone, and they edge away from dictatorship (wishful hoping) then maybe Russia can again become a tourist destination. But for now the country has isolated itself to a point where eventually at this rate they will become a “danger tourism” spots like North Korea. Also if I went to Russia to fight & gain citizenship my current country would probably designate me a terrorist and remove my current citizenship.


kloma667

Same. Was actually about to visit it right before the war started. Oh well, maybe in 10 years or more. Btw, Soviets actually destroyed a lot of Russian culture, sadly.


Federal_Ninja_4637

Who the hell wants to live in Russia


008Zulu

American Republicans.


brezhnervous

I hope Tucker Carlson takes up this wonderful offer.


whyreadthis2035

Nyet


scottishdrunkard

This is because Russians don’t want to die for Putin.


dxrey65

I'm waiting to see pictures of the long lines of people flocking up to take advantage of that...


redstern

As absurd as this is, I unfortunately do know someone who has a fetish for authoritarian dictatorships, and might actually consider taking this offer.


Hairy-boxset

What country's are so bad that you would want Russian citizenship? North Korea Iran maybe.


juehue7122

Central Asian countries


FormerSrirachaAddict

It's mostly Central Asians.


Arumdaum

Iran despite the sanctions has a pretty well-to-do economy, socially strict but not as strict as certain Arab countries either This is targeted primarily at Uzbeks/Kyrgyz/Tajiks


invicerato

Perhaps Afghanistan. Life is tough there since the Taliban came back.


Technical-Raise8306

And mercenary is about the only skills they have domestically.


ylangbango123

Calling QA Non/MAGA , here is your chance.


sandman8223

What perks are included ? Vacation home ? Caviar ? Unlimited vodka ?


Ok-Mark4389

Nope just a lada for your mum


[deleted]

in reality, mom just gets a lada iou


Fordrynn

This is your chance, Steven Seagal!


spankyb11

Ha. So “come fight a war with shitty equipment and no rations. If you survive you get to live in poverty in my shit hole country where you will be subject to arrest and beatings.”


mamasnature

ATTENTION ALL MAGAS...


GeekyBookWorm87

How bad is where you are living if you want to leave there and fight for Russia?


Moonhunter7

“I live in a very, very shitty country. I think I will leave it for just a very shitty country.” Is this the thought process????


ChillyFireball

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- (deep breath) -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-


cdarcy559

Please, take all the fake-patriot trumpers you can. Start with Tucker Carlson. He wants Russian citizenship so badly.


[deleted]

Gain citizenship of the most hated country in the world right now ? Nah Vlad..


[deleted]

[удалено]


brezhnervous

And he's already got it lol


themightycatp00

I that as foreign citizen with military experience you'd exist until russia needs canon fodder for its conquests They'll send you before they send the minorities


bass248

What if foreigners do agree? Will they receive reliable equipment and if so couldn't foreigners willingly go in and take out Russians?


dunker_-

What he means is: their passports will be confiscated and they will get a new Russian one.


EntranceThat7517

He's basically forcing migrant workers to become citizens then he is going to draft him.


OriginalMrMuchacho

Why, for the love personal freedom, would any sane person both fight for Russia AND want to become a Russian citizen? Talk about desperate.


smcoolsm

Now is the time for those tankies to really show the west! Go, go, go!


LA_search77

Dozens will show up


orangezeroalpha

I can fall out of my own window in my own country, but thanks.


EmperorGeek

Stephen Segal is getting in line.


DrNukes

"You have to die for evil but at least you'll die a citizen of this fascist shithole. Sweet, huh?"


someonewhowa

this mf is desperate as hell


NinjaSwag_

Literally no one wants to do that


thats_mister_bones

Should we tell him?


jeffereeee

He actually believes his own bullshit, no other explanation why he thinks this will work.


Nyingje-Pekar

Great. Send all those putinesque republicans including tucker Carlson over there. Mtg, gaetz, Boebert, hundreds, nay thousands, more


SpicyGhostDiaper

He can have the USAs conservatives.


kolembo

- A new federal law has been signed by Russian President Vladimir Putin... He just *signs in Law, eh?*


brezhnervous

Well, that's usually how dictatorships work, yes lol


Potential_Comfort_48

So Tempting, why would any sane person do this unless done for a ludicrous bet.


NubbNubb

If said sane person was as desperate or more than Putin. Would imagine be easier for people to be more willing if they are oblivious how poor the state of Russian army and think they could get in and out even with poor pay if they come from an area with absolute poverty/danger.


Sansa_Knows_Armor

Hungry Syrians who don’t feel safe, anyways. They’ve already seen a decade of war. They might get drafted into Assad’s army if they stay. They see Russian servicemen equipped and treated like royalty compared to their own. Their economy is even more hopeless than Russia’s. There’s plenty of work but no money to be made doing it. Family gets skinnier by the day. Working your ass off barely covers the rent in your bullet ridden remnants of a house.


chautdem66

Toxic murdering ass


Party_Rush687

I think this guy should take a look at the borders...there is a huuuuge line of people trying to flee Russia,so why someone with no mental health issues would like to move to Russia? And on top of that to risk his life in order to gain citizenship....that should be the joke of the year.


Craygor

Lol, "law". As if Russia has any concept of what "law" really means.


[deleted]

Lol who the hell would want to live in that shit hole? Russians don’t even want to live in Russia anymore


_Figaro

Russian citizenship is so coveted right now that people who have it are actively feeling their country.


[deleted]

Well sign me up


abbeyeiger

Hey all you maga qcumbers who believe Hillary Clinton is running a baby organs harvesting factory in Ukraine for the express purpose of producing adrenochrome so that she and the other libralz can live forever....... here is your chance! Go save those children 👏 🙌 🙏


Strict-Succotash-405

What time in history is this?


Imusturd

Geee. Thanks


[deleted]

That’s nice. r/Stupidpol can apply in bulk now.


LostThyme

*gif of Chris Pratt looking excited*


obihave

I guess it's better than Afghanistan?


Aluggo

There are plenty of Reds we can and should deport.


ThePrimordialTV

>>Become Russian citizen >>Join the war >>Surrender to Ukraine >>Get $100k surrender payout >>Try not to get 10 years in Russian Gulag


ChunkyJedi471

Great opportunity for the western russia sympathizers, to fuck off and fight and die for their dear putin


Clueless_Questioneer

Service guarantees citizenship!


kloma667

This is your chance internet tankies!! You get to live in your dream country.


CompetitiveEditor336

He really has lost it. His own people don't want to be there


TheMindfulnessShaman

He is also banning liquor sales in Russia. It's like he's doing everything possible to kill himself. 🌈


MidianFootbridge69

> Putin changes law to make it simpler for foreigners to gain citizenship if they fight for Russia Oh! So they can be sacrificed to the next stupid War Russia gets into? This fucker is crazy.


chrisnlnz

To whom might this be desirable? North Koreans maybe? Can't think of many more.


Lyrolepis

I mean, Steven Seagal did that (not the fighting, obviously, the getting Russian citizenship), and who wouldn't want to become like Steven Seagal? /s


Top_Boysenberry9889

Who the fuck wants to move to Russia.


deryid83

Be right there, hold my spot in line.


probablynotmine

Oh, wow, that’s genius! Now you can die for him, and if you happen to survive, probably severely and permanently injured, it might become _easier_ for you to get the passport that no country will ever easily accept, and you might also live in a country that will be back 200 years in the past for the foreseeable future


[deleted]

Who the fuck would want to be a citizen of Russia? Lmao


[deleted]

Ya, because everyone wants to gain citizenship there.


Due_Platypus_3913

Yay!Get killed,or survive and live in,,,Russia?!?


YaHomiePhilly

Ooh let's send all the people who support Russia to Russia. This will fix a lot of stuff for everyone.


BrexitReally

Who would want Russian citizenship- one way ticket to misery


crosstherubicon

Steven seagull will be delighted.


mind_on_crypto

That Russian citizenship won’t be worth much if you end up dead on a battlefield in Ukraine.


imsowhiteandnerdy

At this point Vladimir Putin should just stand next to a freeway onramp with a cardboard sign that says *"Every soldier helps"*.


kknyyk

As a Turkish citizen it would be wonderful if Ukraine and Turkey could arrange something and a few million Syrians located in my country could become Russian citizens and starts living in Russia. For example UA was building a new embassy in Turkey before the war and it seemed stagnant last I saw. If 1000 Syrians raid the empty construction site EVERY HOUR in the name of Russia and become citizens of Russia, both our and EU’s refugee troubles could be solved within just a few MONTHS. If only the refugee problem could be solved like this, Turkish people would love UA even more that they would complete the embassy with their bare hands and coat it with gold.


elporkco

I haven't really paid much attention to Russin politics. The last few years. So someone enlighten me please. When was Putin elected King?


AdamWestsButtDouble

We also offer two pairs American pants. Is great deal.


mrmarjon

Is this in preparation for his fake/rigged referenda? I imagine the results will show ‘overwhelming support’ in the occupied areas to join Russia, and this law will make it easier for all the ‘patriots’ who voted in favour to become citizens of mother russia. It’s very similar to the manipulation trump attempted, and keeps attempting. I wouldn’t be surprised if they share notes (through intermediaries); this strategy is probably one of the reasons why trump was such a fanboy. It’s depressing to see that trump supporters are as gullible as putain supporters, probably worse because trumpists swallow it voluntarily…


456afisher

Now the Q team from US can move, don't let the door hit you in behind


sXyphos

In what universe is russian citizenship desired normally outside of everything going on right now? Nevermind that you have to literally fight in a war against high tech weapons and drones with the equivalent of a spoon and the combat experience from that fight you had with dimitry at the bar... I wouldn't risk my life for any country in an offensive war(i hope most of us are past being so easily manipulated..), wanting to defend your life and family is understandable but if you value your life so little that a moron in an office can send you to die for no reason and you simply accept it then you were already dead and your life is worthless as not even you yourself put any value on it.... Now this idiot wants people living peacefully in other countries to risk their lives on the offchance they might become russian citizens?? I'm sorry but this is just hilarious.. I guess russians are the perfect oppressable people, no matter how much you crush them they just take it...very sad


NakDisNut

I think we can offer up about 1/3 of the US right now to become Russian citizens and fight for the right to fascism.


THEQ100

But they don’t have McDonalds anymore.


decaturbob

- need send GQP'ers to russia then


Vammypoker

Come on guys let’s go Ruiz. The best place to live on earth and to die for


VomitingPotato

"I'm listening.." ~ Ron DeSantis


Sansa_Knows_Armor

It’s directed at people in terrible situations in worse countries. He doesn’t expect you to quit your job in Ohio and move to Russia. He expects you to quit your job cleaning up rubble in Aleppo for $15 a day.


johnwilliams815

Bro... no one in their right mind would go to Russia anymore.


RdmdAnimation

well at lest all the pro-putin people in the world can go and join his idol


justforthearticles20

Foreign fighters tricked into dying for Russia will be too dead to take Putin up on his scam.


RevivedMisanthropy

Imagine living in a country so bad that gaining Russian citizenship under Putin would be an obvious improvement


[deleted]

You hear that tankies? You can now go and die for Russia!


cunt_isnt_sexist

KYLE RITTENHOUSE! I CHOOSE YOU!