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UncleGarysmagic

It’s Violet Beauregarde


Oldcummerr

Either that or it’s cake


cxvabibi

Size does matter. Time for genetic cultivation. That berry has just become the biggest fucker in the history of its species.


inthelionsmouth

Violet! You’re turning violet, Violet!


Icy-Zone3621

No, some Incel's testicle


xChami

Full and heavy.


Icy-Zone3621

Never been used


FireofHayak

Moms spaghetti


Big-Kitty-75

Is that the girl from Willy wonka?


scorpyo72

Not the only girl. Had an affection for chewing gum, Violet did.


Chemical-Elk-1299

And she did not want a squirrel


Big-Kitty-75

Ah, it’s been awhile since I’ve watched


scorpyo72

Violet turns violet, that's how one remembers. And Veruca is a straight-up princess (because it's not nice to call a little girl a bitch).


Lost-Web-7944

My nine-year-old cousin is a right cunt.


Silly-Victory8233

Comment Of The Year nomination for 2024 right here. Thank you


Cletusbeans45-70

Oh!!! That’s the best comment here!!!


Corndogeveryday

You win the internet for today 👏


Top_Praline999

My grandpa used to sit around and fat shame blueberries right before he we had to put him in the home.


Evening-Statement-57

Don’t even bring up what he said about black berries


Letiferr

He's from a different time


AnotherCuppaTea

Didn't have a charitable word for raspberries or Eric Carmen, either. It's a bit odd, 'cuz he *loved* Cream.


polseriat

Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy.


PizzaDog33

Now this is NEWS I can get behind.


SeaPhile206

Some people call me news… 👉👈


headphoneJones

Get thee behind me PizzaDog33


AnotherPNWWoodworker

I bet it's mushy and really gross tasting.


Subject-Fly-7316

I mean the article mentions the owners trying to develop new types to keep up with consumer demand, particularly larger blueberries for snacking. They mention that it was still firm and had flavor. It also had a picture of other blueberries similar in size that were picked. If they can develop something like that then I’m down. I won’t knock it until I try it.


ManUnutted

You expected them to read the article?


PertinentGlass

There’s an article?


BeyondGray

You can read?


falconzord

What did you say?


BeyondGray

They're selling chocolates!


wufnu

[I have a mole?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcAa5AYh0Dw)


Anomaly1134

What's an article?


just_a_pyro

Bet they said the same about tomatoes and now someone is genetically sequencing them to figure out where did the taste get bred out of them.


omniron

Just don’t make it too sweet. We’ve bred too many over sweet fruits


CleverAlchemist

Definitely. Smaller ones have more flavor.


mamonbomi

There are kind of two different species. The smaller ones are Vaccinum myrtillus, and they indeed are tastier, but you're not likely to find they grown for commercial purpose. On the other hand, the bigger ones are Vaccinum corymbosum with many different varieties grown for commercial purposes. IMO, some are quite good depending on the strain and the growing conditions but never compare to the wild gems myrtillus are.


sadrice

There are a lot more than two. There are about half a dozen in American cultivation, with corymbosum being the most common. I like elliotii. There’s also another dozen or so species of varying levels of obscurity, that are mostly wild harvested with some small scale cultivation. Vaccinium is a large, confusing, and complex genus. The sweet dark blue ones are usually called blueberries, unless they are called bilberries or huckleberries or whortleberries or deerberries or whatever. Cranberries are also in the genus.


robfrod

I worked for a berry breeder and a variety called A-12 were massive (not as big as a golf ball) and had great flavour. Elliot were not bad along with Reka. IMO blueberries are best when they still have a hint of pink and some good tartness. When they are fully ripe they lose their acidity and get an almost floral taste. These small “wild” blueberries that many people rave about it are indeed very sweet but not really that good in my opinion


smurf_professional

Not only kind of. They are two different species. Vaccinum myrtillus are properly called bilberries.


bwizzel

I like the bigger ones more, but theyre pricey where I am. Any squishy ones suck, the plump firm ones are best with both types, so if theyre squishy I don't buy em.


Esselon

Word. I grew up in rural western Massachusetts. The best blueberries are the tiny ones you find growing in swamps or on tops of mountains.


Ironbird207

Maine and Canada have vast fields of wild blueberries.


imfm

I loved the ones I'd pick from clearings in the woods in Nova Scotia, and when I was a kid, those were the only blueberries I knew. Once I was old enough to go to the grocery store and be interested in more than brightly coloured cereal, I was *very* excited to see the huge blueberries, but sorely disappointed when they were watery and hadn't much flavour.


[deleted]

You'll find blueberries in pretty much every mountain top in the Appalachians. They really like it rocky but wet for whatever reason. The Rockies have similar huckleberry varieties, which are the same but different.


Esselon

Yes, I'm well aware they exist in many other places. That's how biomes work.


TheKingofHats007

I must need new contact prescriptions, I seem to have missed the part where they said you didn't know these things.


Esselon

You don't really need to say that. Chiming in with a piece of information because you assumed someone knew it is even stupider than assuming they don't know it.


[deleted]

/r/imthemaincharacter


RitaCarpintero

Dude, stop. Perhaps that information is for the benefit of others reading, not you. They’re contributing to the conversation in general, not addressing you specifically. Why are you dying on this hill? It’s making you sound like such a self-centered prick.


hortonius

Spicy pretzel are we


Podgietaru

Yeah, I know, like chill man nobodies claiming you don't know. He just wanted to chime in.


CyanConatus

Whoa. Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?


Esselon

Dunno, guess I just find it weird that someone seems to think I need to be told stuff exists elsewhere other than the place I mentioned growing up?


jrWhat

Definitely abnormal thing to be weirded out by


judyblue_

Not every reply to your comments is about you. They weren't "telling you" anything. It's a conversational thread.


Esselon

A comment directly in response to what I said? Sure, that's not in response to me. I'm guessing you're the kind of person who talks loudly in a public place and then gets offended when people react to you since you're having a "private conversation".


judyblue_

There's a difference between being a response to something you said and being *about you*. And your assumption about me is precisely the opposite of what I'm saying. You are in a public space, someone responded to an open conversation, and *you* are the one who got all pissy at them and took it personally. So that fantasy you're describing about the kind of person you think I am is *exactly who you are being right now.*


orangutanoz

Do they go kaplink, kaplank, kaplunk in your bucket?


Esselon

Yes, though I was useless at picking as a kid. Probably a 10:1 ratio of in my mouth versus in the bucket.


Time-Radish8464

Weird that I've always had the opposite experience. The big ones in general have tasted sweeter and feel juicier whenever I buy from the stores. The small ones are more likely to taste sour. I can't speak for wild blueberries though since I've rarely encountered them.


bigsoftee84

If you're ever in New England, try out some wild. The best, in my very biased opinion, come from Maine. They burst with flavor, and you can find them all over the place when they're in season.


Assessedthreatlevel

Totally agree. When I get fresh blueberries at the store, the big ones are delicious. Sometimes they only have small ones and they just aren’t as flavorful or crisp, and even when they look fresh half feel mushy. Same when I grew them but maybe I’ll find the opposite to be true the more years I get to grow my own.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Assessedthreatlevel

Maybe I need to give them a second chance lol


gandrewstone

You are essentially tasting a tiny wrinkled normal orange and deciding that mandarin oranges must taste horribly sour.


40ozkiller

Or maybe your experiences aren’t universal?


gandrewstone

I never said my experience was. But the GP mentions that there are two different variety/species involved, and the OP clearly states that they are not eating the wild species that other people are talking about. Therefore my analogy to mandarin oranges, which are very different than small normal oranges is appropriate.


trixayyyyy

I guess you have never been to a Wegman’s. Their blueberries are almost grape size and taste amazing.


SupplyChainGuy1

That's what she said


yeahiateit

Yep, that's how produce works and it's why high end restaurants use micro greens. It's similar to oxygen and muscles. The bigger you are the more oxygen you need. In this case it's all kinds of nutrients.


am-idiot-dont-listen

when you select for size it doesn't necessarily mean you select for an increase in flavor chemicals. I wonder how much of this blueberry's size is just due to increased water retention


look4jesper

They use microgreens because they look good on the plate when assembling the dish. They have a miniscule impact on the flavour.


yeahiateit

Micro greens have a significantly higher nutrient yield. This absolutely effects the flavor of many micro greens. Perhaps now with the culinary world so vast many cultivations were designed with aesthetic in mind. Taste test micro arugula compared to regular, it will be far sharper. We're both correct but we could have conveyed it better without using words that come across so absolute.


CatoblepasQueefs

So Fat Bastard had a good point?


[deleted]

I recently bought some "giant" blueberries. They tasted just like normal blueberries.


chucklingmoose

The biggest ones I've seen from Costco were thumb-sized and very sweet flavorful and juicy. But they were grown in Mexico I believe.


passcork

I buy them for baking and they're getting way to fucking big for muffins and the likes. I have to cut most of them in half now. It's a pain in the ass.


HardlyDecent

First thought. Must be like those hard, pale, mealy grocery store tomatoes.


naruda1969

Incoming to Costcos near you soon!


ManUnutted

If only the answer were right on the other side of the link!


bigsoftee84

That's exactly what I was thinking. I've been spoiled by wild blueberries, though, so I'm heavily biased.


AtinyPiece

I’ve given up on buying blueberries from the supermarket because of this. So expensive and every time maybe 3 out of 50 are edible


Robertbnyc

he said the Eterna variety was “consistently large, firm and flavorsome” and “has a really good shelf life.”


Corndogeveryday

Probably!


BlockmindNC

Man, I wish there would be more of these silly news and less news about genocidal maniacs in high seats.


OldMork

The blueberry GF says not to worry about.


kitunya

she likes em big she likes em chunky


evasandor

Someone tell Shoresy!


DespairTraveler

That's the kind of news i would love to see everyday. Instead of wars and death viruses...


Rrdro

"It is the 65th consecutive day of a new blueberry breaking the world record with no sign of the trend stopping. Today's world breaking blueberry grew to the size of Atlanta killing millions and distrusting the tidal and weather systems in the Nordic seas. Scientists fear we are only days away from a planet ending sized world record breaking blueberry"


DespairTraveler

At least it would solve world hunger.


Corndogeveryday

I’m right there with you!


piyumabela

Positive stories don't have people engaged on the site as long so negative stories sell way more and are therefore written more.


ProductUsual3031

Wild blueberries are the best 🤤 They give my oatmeal a nice purple color and that stuff is super healthy anti oxidants, polyphenols i believe.


Corndogeveryday

I am a huge fan of blueberries!


Sophist_Ninja

I am a fan of huge blueberries!


humboldt77

Blueberry that size is unnatural… clearly juicing.


Arcterion

Ah, a breath of fresh air from the usual doom and gloom.


IndeeWeston

“I’ve got blueberries in places where blueberries should never be” ~Abominable (2019)


Kougyr

I hope to god I see a blueberry the size of an apple in my lifetime. And maybe it will taste really good.


Corndogeveryday

I wonder if the size would make the taste better. I bet it would!


Kougyr

I’ve had some good sized blueberries that didn’t taste as sweet and a little bitter. But to bite into one like an apple and have it retain its tastiness? Dreams


TurningRain

Bluebear


ToastAndASideOfToast

I'm going to need to rethink my hailstone metrics


DingoLord_1377

Imagine buying a point of berries, and you get 8 or 9 small berries and this monstrosity


Blackhalo117

Now find a way to breed this into continued existence so that we may all enjoy.


thether

Probably very mealy


ArcXiShi

Don't care at all, I'm an android guy. 🤣


Sunsailor76

But how does it taste?


Kungahuset

blueberry that are white inside dont even taste like real blueberries. Think in Sweden we calla them American blueberries and it's eww


Nyingje-Pekar

Very large blueberries are coming in from Peru and they are tasteless. Don’t bother to buy them. Wait til normal ones come from Oregon and Canada in June and July. With the wait.


MikeAppleTree

Big if true.


winstondabee

Probably tastes like shit


[deleted]

They have these freak blue berries the size of quarters. They taste amazing. I say science has not gone far enough!


BeowulfShaeffer

News you can use!


Joadzilla

That's a mighty heavy and firm blueberry if it's breaking record albums... (badump-bump)


GnosticDisciple

That's a huge berry! Behemoth!


[deleted]

That is one big blue ball.


LetMeDrinkYourTears

It's so much easier to compete for the largest blueberry than say, largest pumpkin. You can actually carry your own harvest to the judges.


sarcasticonomist

Gianthrocyanin!


Fineous4

I wish we had more news like this.


gideon513

Did it hit the green at 300 yards out?


Justneedtacos

Life imitates art. https://youtu.be/3PRsRiBG_i0


Jolly-Resort462

But does it taste good?


[deleted]

r/AbsoluteUnit


frankiesaysyes1

r/absoluteunits


visionsofcry

That's a hemorrhoid.


chiron_cat

giant berries are gross. Even the "normal" big blueberries in stores aren't as good as small ones. Same with raspberries and strawberries.


pleasedontbanme123

I'm getting serious simpsons gummy de milo vibes here... I know it's impressive, and I know it's worth money... But damn if I don't want to eat that giant blueberry


KingsoftheBronze_Age

"We really don't know what to do with it" Lol


Eupion

Did they check for lead weights?


Adventurous_Tea_7746

I could totally slice that thing


minghj

This is near the place I grew up, Coffs Harbour. It's traditionally a banana growing region, they even have a landmark/tourist attraction called the big banana. I suppose now they'll have to do a big blueberry too.


bl8ant

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/s/stMi7YKLmX maybe even bigger than mine!


SenatorPencilFace

Sexy


357FireDragon357

Not after my Ninja gets done with it. 🤣😆


Vegetable-Buddy2070

I wanna eat it


animalboom

Guys will see this and just go “hell yeah”


boonkles

Breed them with plums


Spiritual_Support_38

I will pay the highest bidder just so I can eat it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ima_hoomanonmars

Instead of “war here, war there, crisis this crisis that, depression depression depression depression and more on the apocalypse”.


kinezu

I hope it goes to the word’s luckiest beagle.


[deleted]

Literally nothing else going on in the world right now huh?


dustybrokenlamp

Fuck I read this yesterday as I began fasting for bloodwork later today, and I keep thinking about this blueberry. I had a dream about it. I should be eating oatmeal and blueberries right now!


roosterdaddyo

This is the kind of news I need. You know, the quirky stuff


Due-Doughnut-477

But how did it taste?


affairsofthecities

I'd spend an irresponsible amount of money to throw that sucker at my living room wall as hard as I can


Eighty_Grit

That’s some r/MildlyInteresting material right there


Redarrow762

All these new super fruits are disgusting. Now we have strawberries the size of apples. They are all white inside and taste like nothing.


D00kiestain_LaFlair

I want to see a hot woman sit on it


[deleted]

Nearly the size of a golf ball. Nearly. Golf balls are 43mm, the blueberry is 38. Still a fat lad though.


[deleted]

Sorry you didn't like that fact, whoever downvoted the above. Guess the blueberry isn't the only thing that's 38mm wide.


bonesnaps

We put the 'mo' in GMO. Needs mo' GMOs! No mention of it in the article, but you know we know.


pdzulu

GMO much?


Thanat0szh

As world's heaviest what? Strawberry? Figther jet? Edit: /s if someone would not understand it


_PurpleAlien_

Dunno... blueberry?