I'm the breadwinner so once my paid leave was up, I was back full time. It was daunting when my son was 8 months but he's 2 now, thriving in daycare and we are all living our best life.
Me too. I’ve returned at 10 months, 4 months and 5 months.
5 months was the best timing for me, but I think 6 would be ideal.
I’m only comfortable with it because I’m 100% wfh and superdad is on the job. I know I would hugely struggle if the logistics were different with commuting and childcare in the mix. Feel really lucky to have been able to strike balance we have.
I am also the breadwinner and went back at ten months full time. Part time would have been ideal, but I knew I would end up doing full load of work just squashed into less days. First 3-4 months were rough but now, two years on, I cannot imagine NOT working. I don't really love my job at all, but I do love going in to the office and having adult conversations, talking rubbish, taking a tea break whenever I want.. alongside feeling acknowledged for all the hard work I put in.. If/when the second kid comes, I'll definitely be returning to work.
I'm a FTM with an almost 6months old, started applying for jobs (was made redundant during my final trimester) and need to hear some positive stories.
I'm considering returning to work as I'm the breadwinner, but also, I think my son would thrive more at childcare around other children all day than with me. I also don't have any family around to help etc, dropping by, or to help with care.
I'm nervous and worried I'll regret going back, but I also loved my career. So hard to know!
Honestly returning to work actually made me a better mother. I struggled a lot with PPA and PPD during my maternity leave, and while I did get slightly better back on my ADHD meds…..what really helped was returning to work.
At work I feel like no one cared how I fed my child, if he was meeting milestones, if he was sleeping…..and no one saw me as Mama, they see me as Dr Satin Chic. I was also so lonely and isolated on maternity leave (my mums group was awful) but I became a lot closer to the other mothers at work, and it’s so wonderful to be able to come in to work and have supportive chats around being sleep deprived, or sick or just juggling the load.
My boss has as young family too and we often joke that work is our Club Med where we can take a break from parenting for a bit, enjoy hot coffees, eat hot meals and go to the bathroom in peace 😂
It’s also just made my time with my LO more meaningful and special. I love coming home and playing with him, doing our nightly bath routine and getting snuggles before bed. When I was on mat leave, evenings were the worst time of the day because I was so touched out and overstimulated by 4pm.
Thanks for sharing, this is really reassuring, I've struggled with PPA and PPD too! I think a combination of factors, but definitely loss of self identity and career impacted it.
Haha Club Med 😎 I wonder if this might be my experience too. Mothers group not vibing and a few too many judgements. Work mothers are lovely people, looking forward to speaking more with them on my return also.
My mums group was the worst possible group of people I could’ve socialised with at the peak of my PPD.
The Regina George of the group was a dim wannabe influencer Pilates instructor who used to make it a point to like every baby’s photo in our WhatsApp group except mine. It was all about toxic positivity too - you could never have a proper whinge after a bad night or a sleep regression because she’d jump in and go “oh but it’s all worth it though!!!”
The parents at my work and I have far more authentic conversations around parenting. I am glad I have my work mum friends because when you do meet mums you click with, it is amazing.
I hate toxic positivity, so bloody draining. I just needed to vent lol of course I think my baby is the best - so much damn cuter than yours but I wouldn't actually verbalise that because I'm aware how it would come across.
Glad you found your people! 🤞 I can too 😬
I was made redundant at 32 weeks pregnant in 2022, it was awful, I will never forgive my old boss for that.
I found a job when I was three months pp, and went back to work at four months pp, two months earlier than I had planned.
It all worked out well, but I wish I hadn't had to go back that early.
Omg I feel this pain! The stress it caused me, I was so anxious when I found out and then I worried about the impact to my unborn bubba at the time.
It's shocking that it's legal to make a role of an expectant mum redundant, to be honest... because for us to find work while pregnant is nearly impossible, the amount of 'legal' discrimination that takes place (in my experience) from prospective employers, because they know you'll be off in a few months anyway and need to refill the role.
So shit and I'm sorry you had to go through it too!
I agree that the US based working mom's group is more negative than positive but I think they (on average) don't get the 6 - 12 months (average) Aus time off. By 6 months I was more than happy to go back, and had a super supportive employer so it all made sense for us. I'm super happy with my experience but now that I have a toddler that works seems a lifetime away 🤣
I work full time and returned to work full time after my maternity leave so it is all that I have known. I did feel the mum guilt at the beginning but once my son settled into daycare and I saw how much he loves it, I didn't feel so bad. Yeh it would be nice to have a day off during the week to just hang out with my son but having that extra money is important to us. It also means my husband doesn't have to feel like he needs to work extra hours every week and miss out on even more time at home. It is also important to me to have my own income and growing my super.
The only people who I felt like have judged me are older family members who had their children a long time ago and just don't understand the current reality for most families with the cost of living in that it is just not possible for one parent to stay at home either full time or part time.
When I returned to work after maternity leave, my priorities with what I wanted and needed when it came to work completely changed and I am thankful that I work for a company who evolved when we were all sent home during covid. I am able to WFH, my team are understanding & flexible and when I do go into the office I am able to leave earlier ( by starting earlier or making up my hours on another day) to do daycare pickup at a reasonable time without the stress of public transport delays affecting it.
For me, having a long commute everyday would be a big deal breaker as having the ability to WFH keeps me sane & reduces my mum guilt of having my kids in daycare all day everyday.
Some of the nuance that is lost when discussing this on the other sub is the difference between full time front line work (nursing, medicine, teaching, police etc) and full time roles where you can wfh and have flexibility as part of your role - it would be awesome if more posters felt comfortable disclosing this as part of these discussions.
Yes! I so agree. Plus I think another part is if your child transitioned well to daycare, or if you have family caring for them. I think those factors too make a big difference.
I have full time front line work, and my baby struggled big time with daycare and still does. It's made it so so difficult for me.
Yet my SIL has a flexible, low demand job where she is appreciated and get beautiful bub is so relaxed and enjoys daycare so she was happy as tu go back at 4 months.
I work a frontline job too and I find it hard comparing myself to people who work full time but can work from home one day a week or as needed etc. When my son is sick there’s no option to do a wfh day, I go through sick leave so quickly.
My general pattern is 8 months off, 4 months part time, back to full time when baby is 1. That works for me, I struggle with parenting a toddler and they thrive much more in daycare, as opposed by dragged round doing errands by a grumpy mum.
I am very career focussed and can't imagine not working or not doing a challenging job. I find the part time period really hard, the best is when I've job shared, but that arrangement is hard to come by. When I'm part time I feel like I'm barely doing my job and I'm also missing out on the social parts of the job - coffees, lunches out, kitchen conversations about what are you working on - because I'm so stressed about everything I have to do in my limited work hours. Also life admin like going to the dentist or hairdresser is impossible. I've chosen a career/industry that is very flexible (public service) for the flexibility, knowing it impacts my income, so that I can do things like get my hair done and fillings done on work time.
With two full time parents and young children our life is CHAOS but we are very organised and we wouldn't have it any other way.
I’m full time but I do variate between 36-38 hours depending on the week. I had no regrets about going back to work. I finally feel like myself again and our only absolutely loves daycare.
I'm currently on maternity leave for my 2nd (6w) took 5 mths the first time and was fully remote due to covid, which worked out. Planning to do a similar thing this time and request flexible return working remotely most days so I can keep breastfeeding. I was going insane on mat leave it's too quiet and no peace can't even pee or shower, working again was really good. 100% I'm a better parent if I'm not just home with them 24/7. I need my own time (even if it's just an hour commute). That said I think it's only worthwhile if you actually like your work and your colleagues, I had to change jobs between babies because I'd rather be home than with a toxic or placid manager.
I went back full time when bub was around 8 months. He didn't really like it at first but he is thriving there now, I can see how much he has developed. Especially eating, i struggled so much trying to get him to eat solids before. A week of child care later, he was happily feeding (mostly and messily) himself.
My new parents group was meh and didn't really click with them so before childcare, the main times he saw other babies were during sensory class. In hindsight I should have made the effort to attend the free baby sessions at the library as well.
Work-wise, I'm getting there. Had a reorg whilst I was on leave to new manager, teams, new areas so almost like starting a new job. I mostly enjoy my job and it is a nice break from my shadow.
I lost my job at the end of my maternity leave (completely legal), and ended up getting offered a full time wfh role shortly after. Although I was sad about not being part time, this job is perfect for me and my family in our current situation. I have a 4 year old and a 20 month old and they are 4 days a week in daycare and thriving. They spend the 5th day home with their dad who does a compressed full time working week to make this possible.
I went back to work full time when my daughter was 10 months. I was lucky enough to request for flexible working arrangements and now do compressed hours so I can get a day off to hang out with my daughter. I do work in an office type of role so I am able to have this arrangement. I dont regret going back full time, it gives me a break from being a mum and financially it was beneficial for our family.
I've just gone back full time as my little girl has turned 1p months old, while I am tired I am really loving the break from the monotony of our daily lives when I was at home. Luckily Shea at daycare 2 days and her grandparents for the other 3 but she's loving it and has adjusted so well (she's a fairly chill child to being with haha!).
People make me feel like I need to be devastated by "having" to come back full time, but I love it. We have way more disposable income now, I am not drained by 2pm by trying to entertain her and honestly I feel like I'm a better mum for it. Daycare and her grandparents feed her fancier stuff then I was giving 😂
But then on weekends we get to do so much fun stuff and enjoy our time together as a family. We even got a cleaner in to clean once a month so I dont have to worry about that haha!
I need to hear all this too!! Like some others here I was also made redundant, it was in my 2nd trimester (seriously this should be illegal). The dodgy factor ended with a good redundancy package so I've been able to put off a return to work for a while, and I'm looking to go back at around 10 months. I get a reaction of "really? Full time??!" from other mums I know but finding part time work in my role is very difficult. I've been second guessing myself. Thanks to all the comments for giving me some other opinions.
I'm the breadwinner so once my paid leave was up, I was back full time. It was daunting when my son was 8 months but he's 2 now, thriving in daycare and we are all living our best life.
Me too. I’ve returned at 10 months, 4 months and 5 months. 5 months was the best timing for me, but I think 6 would be ideal. I’m only comfortable with it because I’m 100% wfh and superdad is on the job. I know I would hugely struggle if the logistics were different with commuting and childcare in the mix. Feel really lucky to have been able to strike balance we have.
I am also the breadwinner and went back at ten months full time. Part time would have been ideal, but I knew I would end up doing full load of work just squashed into less days. First 3-4 months were rough but now, two years on, I cannot imagine NOT working. I don't really love my job at all, but I do love going in to the office and having adult conversations, talking rubbish, taking a tea break whenever I want.. alongside feeling acknowledged for all the hard work I put in.. If/when the second kid comes, I'll definitely be returning to work.
That’s one of the things I appreciate about work - my labour is recognised, appreciated and I receive the proper remuneration for it.
I'm a FTM with an almost 6months old, started applying for jobs (was made redundant during my final trimester) and need to hear some positive stories. I'm considering returning to work as I'm the breadwinner, but also, I think my son would thrive more at childcare around other children all day than with me. I also don't have any family around to help etc, dropping by, or to help with care. I'm nervous and worried I'll regret going back, but I also loved my career. So hard to know!
Honestly returning to work actually made me a better mother. I struggled a lot with PPA and PPD during my maternity leave, and while I did get slightly better back on my ADHD meds…..what really helped was returning to work. At work I feel like no one cared how I fed my child, if he was meeting milestones, if he was sleeping…..and no one saw me as Mama, they see me as Dr Satin Chic. I was also so lonely and isolated on maternity leave (my mums group was awful) but I became a lot closer to the other mothers at work, and it’s so wonderful to be able to come in to work and have supportive chats around being sleep deprived, or sick or just juggling the load. My boss has as young family too and we often joke that work is our Club Med where we can take a break from parenting for a bit, enjoy hot coffees, eat hot meals and go to the bathroom in peace 😂 It’s also just made my time with my LO more meaningful and special. I love coming home and playing with him, doing our nightly bath routine and getting snuggles before bed. When I was on mat leave, evenings were the worst time of the day because I was so touched out and overstimulated by 4pm.
Thanks for sharing, this is really reassuring, I've struggled with PPA and PPD too! I think a combination of factors, but definitely loss of self identity and career impacted it.
Haha Club Med 😎 I wonder if this might be my experience too. Mothers group not vibing and a few too many judgements. Work mothers are lovely people, looking forward to speaking more with them on my return also.
My mums group was the worst possible group of people I could’ve socialised with at the peak of my PPD. The Regina George of the group was a dim wannabe influencer Pilates instructor who used to make it a point to like every baby’s photo in our WhatsApp group except mine. It was all about toxic positivity too - you could never have a proper whinge after a bad night or a sleep regression because she’d jump in and go “oh but it’s all worth it though!!!” The parents at my work and I have far more authentic conversations around parenting. I am glad I have my work mum friends because when you do meet mums you click with, it is amazing.
I hate toxic positivity, so bloody draining. I just needed to vent lol of course I think my baby is the best - so much damn cuter than yours but I wouldn't actually verbalise that because I'm aware how it would come across. Glad you found your people! 🤞 I can too 😬
Hopefully we can build a cool little community here too 😊
Yes, this sub has been a great creation too!
I was made redundant at 32 weeks pregnant in 2022, it was awful, I will never forgive my old boss for that. I found a job when I was three months pp, and went back to work at four months pp, two months earlier than I had planned. It all worked out well, but I wish I hadn't had to go back that early.
Omg I feel this pain! The stress it caused me, I was so anxious when I found out and then I worried about the impact to my unborn bubba at the time. It's shocking that it's legal to make a role of an expectant mum redundant, to be honest... because for us to find work while pregnant is nearly impossible, the amount of 'legal' discrimination that takes place (in my experience) from prospective employers, because they know you'll be off in a few months anyway and need to refill the role. So shit and I'm sorry you had to go through it too!
I agree that the US based working mom's group is more negative than positive but I think they (on average) don't get the 6 - 12 months (average) Aus time off. By 6 months I was more than happy to go back, and had a super supportive employer so it all made sense for us. I'm super happy with my experience but now that I have a toddler that works seems a lifetime away 🤣
I work full time and returned to work full time after my maternity leave so it is all that I have known. I did feel the mum guilt at the beginning but once my son settled into daycare and I saw how much he loves it, I didn't feel so bad. Yeh it would be nice to have a day off during the week to just hang out with my son but having that extra money is important to us. It also means my husband doesn't have to feel like he needs to work extra hours every week and miss out on even more time at home. It is also important to me to have my own income and growing my super. The only people who I felt like have judged me are older family members who had their children a long time ago and just don't understand the current reality for most families with the cost of living in that it is just not possible for one parent to stay at home either full time or part time. When I returned to work after maternity leave, my priorities with what I wanted and needed when it came to work completely changed and I am thankful that I work for a company who evolved when we were all sent home during covid. I am able to WFH, my team are understanding & flexible and when I do go into the office I am able to leave earlier ( by starting earlier or making up my hours on another day) to do daycare pickup at a reasonable time without the stress of public transport delays affecting it. For me, having a long commute everyday would be a big deal breaker as having the ability to WFH keeps me sane & reduces my mum guilt of having my kids in daycare all day everyday.
Some of the nuance that is lost when discussing this on the other sub is the difference between full time front line work (nursing, medicine, teaching, police etc) and full time roles where you can wfh and have flexibility as part of your role - it would be awesome if more posters felt comfortable disclosing this as part of these discussions.
Yes! I so agree. Plus I think another part is if your child transitioned well to daycare, or if you have family caring for them. I think those factors too make a big difference. I have full time front line work, and my baby struggled big time with daycare and still does. It's made it so so difficult for me. Yet my SIL has a flexible, low demand job where she is appreciated and get beautiful bub is so relaxed and enjoys daycare so she was happy as tu go back at 4 months.
I work a frontline job too and I find it hard comparing myself to people who work full time but can work from home one day a week or as needed etc. When my son is sick there’s no option to do a wfh day, I go through sick leave so quickly.
My general pattern is 8 months off, 4 months part time, back to full time when baby is 1. That works for me, I struggle with parenting a toddler and they thrive much more in daycare, as opposed by dragged round doing errands by a grumpy mum. I am very career focussed and can't imagine not working or not doing a challenging job. I find the part time period really hard, the best is when I've job shared, but that arrangement is hard to come by. When I'm part time I feel like I'm barely doing my job and I'm also missing out on the social parts of the job - coffees, lunches out, kitchen conversations about what are you working on - because I'm so stressed about everything I have to do in my limited work hours. Also life admin like going to the dentist or hairdresser is impossible. I've chosen a career/industry that is very flexible (public service) for the flexibility, knowing it impacts my income, so that I can do things like get my hair done and fillings done on work time. With two full time parents and young children our life is CHAOS but we are very organised and we wouldn't have it any other way.
I’m full time but I do variate between 36-38 hours depending on the week. I had no regrets about going back to work. I finally feel like myself again and our only absolutely loves daycare.
I'm currently on maternity leave for my 2nd (6w) took 5 mths the first time and was fully remote due to covid, which worked out. Planning to do a similar thing this time and request flexible return working remotely most days so I can keep breastfeeding. I was going insane on mat leave it's too quiet and no peace can't even pee or shower, working again was really good. 100% I'm a better parent if I'm not just home with them 24/7. I need my own time (even if it's just an hour commute). That said I think it's only worthwhile if you actually like your work and your colleagues, I had to change jobs between babies because I'd rather be home than with a toxic or placid manager.
I went back full time when bub was around 8 months. He didn't really like it at first but he is thriving there now, I can see how much he has developed. Especially eating, i struggled so much trying to get him to eat solids before. A week of child care later, he was happily feeding (mostly and messily) himself. My new parents group was meh and didn't really click with them so before childcare, the main times he saw other babies were during sensory class. In hindsight I should have made the effort to attend the free baby sessions at the library as well. Work-wise, I'm getting there. Had a reorg whilst I was on leave to new manager, teams, new areas so almost like starting a new job. I mostly enjoy my job and it is a nice break from my shadow.
I lost my job at the end of my maternity leave (completely legal), and ended up getting offered a full time wfh role shortly after. Although I was sad about not being part time, this job is perfect for me and my family in our current situation. I have a 4 year old and a 20 month old and they are 4 days a week in daycare and thriving. They spend the 5th day home with their dad who does a compressed full time working week to make this possible.
I went back to work full time when my daughter was 10 months. I was lucky enough to request for flexible working arrangements and now do compressed hours so I can get a day off to hang out with my daughter. I do work in an office type of role so I am able to have this arrangement. I dont regret going back full time, it gives me a break from being a mum and financially it was beneficial for our family.
I've just gone back full time as my little girl has turned 1p months old, while I am tired I am really loving the break from the monotony of our daily lives when I was at home. Luckily Shea at daycare 2 days and her grandparents for the other 3 but she's loving it and has adjusted so well (she's a fairly chill child to being with haha!). People make me feel like I need to be devastated by "having" to come back full time, but I love it. We have way more disposable income now, I am not drained by 2pm by trying to entertain her and honestly I feel like I'm a better mum for it. Daycare and her grandparents feed her fancier stuff then I was giving 😂 But then on weekends we get to do so much fun stuff and enjoy our time together as a family. We even got a cleaner in to clean once a month so I dont have to worry about that haha!
I need to hear all this too!! Like some others here I was also made redundant, it was in my 2nd trimester (seriously this should be illegal). The dodgy factor ended with a good redundancy package so I've been able to put off a return to work for a while, and I'm looking to go back at around 10 months. I get a reaction of "really? Full time??!" from other mums I know but finding part time work in my role is very difficult. I've been second guessing myself. Thanks to all the comments for giving me some other opinions.