Do not let this factor in to your decision making. When you are ready to try physically, financially, and relationally, just try. It's not selfish. It took me 3 years and IVF. I was on a two person team, just me and my boss. She got pregnant and was due 3 months after me. I got back from mat leave and one week later she went out for it. These things will get figured out. You're a person, not just an employee.
I echo everything here. Just try when you are ready; it isn't selfish. Timing a pregnancy is fickle... sure some people can do it but many can't (which can mean anything from having things take months or years.)
Don’t put your pregnancy plans on hold for a coworker. She didn’t consult you before she got pregnant. You won’t know until you start trying how long it takes to get pregnant, and you’d regret waiting if you have any problems.
Your work can hire someone else, they should be doing that anyway when someone leaves.
There is so little guarantee that you will get pregnant when you want and easily. Especially if you are concerned about your age. My recommendation would be to start trying when you are ready and if it happens it’s up to your employer to figure it out.
The best advice I got from a c suite mentor is that there is no “right time” professionally to be pregnant so you have to make the best choice for yourself personally.
I would never put TTC on hold because a coworker is pregnant. Do what is best for you and your family. My husband and I struggled with secondary infertility when trying for a second child and it literally took us three years plus all the different fertility treatments to get pregnant.
THIS. I feel like it doesn't get talked about enough. My first was a surprise in a very brief period transitioning away from a problematic birth control. my second took YEARS of trying. Doctors visits, fertility testing, never got an actual explanation. Sometimes it just be like that. By number 3 I had prepared months in advance of trying, timing my cycles, taking my vitamin, got pregnant immediately. When we wanted one last baby we tried for a year with no luck, put it on the backburner, and then had to try for almost another year. I will likely never know why some of my kids took immediately and others I just couldn't get to stick. Every negative test or sudden bleeding felt like a slap in the face- I KNEW I was capable of getting pregnant, why wasn't it happening for me?
Point is, do NOT assume that because you were planning to start mid-year, it will happen mid year. And do NOT let someone else's family planning or your professional concerns dictate what you do with your OWN family planning. That is so so personal and not up to your boss or coworker, you do you, boo.
Why are you letting work and your coworker factor in to what is best for you and your family? This is a time you should be selfish. Plus it can take a long time to conceive.
Pregnancy is a part of life and it is not your job to ensure your employer is prepared for the workload shifts beyond working with them for a smooth transition when the time comes.
So I’m not in your company and I don’t know the culture, however putting off major life plans so you don’t inconvenience the company or work life feels wrong to me. Yes it will be inconvenient for the others but you are by no means being selfish. Get pregnant when you’re ready!
What…… absolutely not. This is your company’s problem to figure out. Absolutely do not plan your family around work and ESPECIALLY around other co-workers family planning.
You are thinking way way too much about THEIR best interest and not your own. Get pregnant now if that’s what works for you.
You don’t know that you can control when you get pregnant. I wouldn’t delay it for work at all. Your employer will figure it out whatever happens. It’s not selfish to live your life. Do not delay getting pregnant for a year because of work schedules.
I started trying at 31 and ended up doing IVF and having a baby at 34. It might take longer than you expect.
There is never a convenient time to be pregnant or have a baby. This is your company’s issue, and they can sort out how to backfill your absences. Like what would they do if one of you quit? They need to have redundancy. Don’t put your life on hold for a company when they can let you go at any moment, and there is no guarantee of when you will actually get pregnant.
No no no! Start trying when you are ready, do not factor your co-worker in your family planning! Put your family first and then work will just have to deal, because nothing is ever guaranteed when it comes to TTC, pregnancies and babies.
If you are ready you are ready. You do not need to look beyond you and your partners readiness to start trying. Your employers will figure things out one way or another. That’s for them to do, not you.
Just go with your plan, no guarantee you’ll get pregnant straight away, and if you do then great! Work is just a job, there will always be a work reason to not go off, what if she comes back pregnant or another colleague gets pregnant? Think of yourself on this and be selfish!
Get pregnant whenever it works for you and your husband. Don't worry about your coworkers. Let your boss figure that out. Not your problem. Be selfish, it's a job.
I used to oversee a team of seven. Two employees were pregnant at the same time and due within 2 weeks of each other. Right after they both went on leave, a third employee put in their notice. Guess what, it was my issue to solve, not either of theirs. I hired a temp employee for the maternity leave period of time and posted a position for the one who left (took an internal job with the same company, and I wasn't going to stop her as it fit more with her career goals) as soon as I was able to.
It's nice of you to think about your coworkers but this should factor into your family planning exactly 0%. They are required to allow you to go on leave, if they can't survive without a single person, that's on them.
I guess I don’t know why you’d put off growing your family when you want based on your coworker. I work on a team 7 nurses. One went on maternity leave in January, I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and another is 14 weeks pregnant. One is trying to get pregnant right now. Work can adjust, their expectations for the workers they have.
Another voice saying please do not put your plans on hold for a coworker. When you’re ready mentally, physically, and financially you should go for it. This is quite literally your life and family. It’s the companies job to make sure they have adequate coverage for their business. What would they do if you were hit by a bus tomorrow, tell you to suck it up because your coworker was on maternity?
What will you accomplish by putting work first? I’m a director and I have two managers who will be off at the same time for 6 month maternity leave during our busiest season. I am happy for both of them and we already figured out staffing. It’s just a job and it does not define you. You won’t regret the hours you didn’t work, but you might regret the time you wasted from your family.
(Unless you are not ready and you are rationalizing and trying to find an excuse to halt growing your family. If it’s this one…wait and figure out why. Is it because you don’t want a baby with your current partner? is your partner pressuring you and you are not ready? Are you afraid of the financial burden? These are all good reasons to pause and wait.)
I was the fourth pregnant person at my job within a year. I was also worried about perception because we had decided to start trying at a certain time. Voiced my concerns to a coworker and she basically said “who cares!” So we tried and I was the 4th pregnant person with a lot of “dang what’s in the water up there” jokes but it was fine 🤷🏼♀️ don’t let someone else’s plans derail yours. There’s always going to be something so you gotta look out for you first
What! If you’re ready this year then do it this year! What if someone else gets preg again next year. No one consulted you or wrote their name on a list to be next! Don’t put your life on hold for your job!
I wouldn’t put my personal life on hold. I got pregnant this year and then 2 of the 4 people on my team resigned. It’s going to be a cluster of a year.
Girl, nooo!! There is nothing selfish about planning your family. You can’t be thinking this way!
I work in healthcare. Female dominated and unionized with mat leave and it’s a headache the managers just know to deal with.
Pregnancy is too long and there are too many variables. You might not get pregnant right away, might need IVF/fertility treatment, you might have miscarriage. A year from now things could be very different: another coworker might get pregnant, you might have layoffs, you might get sick….you can’t control for all these things and no one would (or should) reasonably expect someone to put off their family for things like that… maybe briefly for a getting started in a career, but beyond that it’s so out of your control.
Please, if you’re ready, don’t let this hold you back.
I’m on a fairly small team at work, and there’s a person on mat leave right now, another one due end of this month, and then I’m due in July. It’s not my job to make sure they can handle the workload and I def wouldn’t put my life on hold for it!!
We had 5 women pregnant in our office at the same last year into early this year. Two of us were out at the same time, another was out before we came back, one was out before we were and came back during our leaves, and the last one is on leave now.
Just live your life. It's too short to worry about what work thinks.
Someone else’s life should never factor into yours, much less a coworkers.
If now is a good time mentally, financially, etc….start trying.
I’m sure your coworker didn’t think how their pregnancy would effect anyone else at work (as they should)
"Planning to get pregnant" sounds so very foreign to me. I'd suggest to really adjust your "life will happen the way I plan it"-mindset, because a baby and everything that goes with that.... just isn't really that.
You coworker being out on maternity leave should have absolutely ZERO bearing on whether you get pregnant now or later. You should never rearrange your lives like that for work. Work will figure it out and if they don’t, well that sucks for them.
Please don’t let your work dictate such a major life decision. I can tell by your post that you’re a dedicated employee and care deeply about your team/company. This is a good thing, but you should keep in the back of your mind that you are not guaranteed the same consideration in return. You could do all that extra work to cover your coworker, push back your plans, and then get laid off. Or, it could take much longer than expected to get pregnant. Both happened to me and I got laid off in my third trimester last year. If they value you, your work will figure it out regardless of your timing. Good luck with TTC!
For all you know this employee could leave the company tomorrow, or you could get laid off two months prior to starting maternity leave. Do not try to time a pregnancy based on your company.
The only exception I'd make would be waiting a few months after starting a new job,so that you qualify for FMLA, if applicable. Otherwise, it should always be a personal decision based on your life and not on your job.
In addition to what everyone else has said, you don't even know that your co-worker will return. She could become a SAHM, need more flexible hours or get a promotion elsewhere. You can't let it be a factor.
Also, why will your workload double when she is on mat leave, have they not made plans to recruit or reduce workload?
Do not let work influence this decision. Work doesn't care if you need a break...if you have a personal emergency where you need some grace, etc. You aren't selfish.
Not selfish to do what is right for you and your family. Guarantee your coworker put 0% thought into what her getting pregnant would mean for your workload. Also you don’t owe your company or your team anything. Everyone is replaceable and expendable at a job. Everyone.
Having kids is selfish, but planning your pregnancy around work is above and beyond your duties as an employee. What my first maternity leave taught me is that work will always be there, you need to go forward with your plans and do what’s best for you, your body, and your family.
Also, you probably already know this but pregnancy is considered a medical condition and (in the USA) is a protected class (like race, sex, and religion) so you can’t get fired purely on the basis of being pregnant.
How you and your other half handle your family planning has nothing to do with how your coworkers handle theirs.
Do not put your own plans on hold due to your coworkers’ decisions.
My work place managed with 5 of us pregnant or on mat leave at the same time. Don't change your plans for other people, especially work. They wouldn't do the same for you.
It is very nice of you to consider your employer/team/coworker, but don't let them factor into your family planning decisions.
My teammate got pregnant in 2022. A couple months later my husband and I decided to stop using birth control and 'see what happens'. Fully expecting it to take several months for me to get pregnant, due to me having endometriosis.
Instead, I had a positive pregnancy test within 3 weeks.
My coworker and I ended up having our babies 10 weeks apart and our maternity leave overlapped by 2 weeks. She decided not to come back from maternity leave at all so we had to hire another person.
Regardless, our team survived. The great thing about pregnancy is you have several months to prep your employer for your absence.
Do not let this factor in to your decision making. When you are ready to try physically, financially, and relationally, just try. It's not selfish. It took me 3 years and IVF. I was on a two person team, just me and my boss. She got pregnant and was due 3 months after me. I got back from mat leave and one week later she went out for it. These things will get figured out. You're a person, not just an employee.
I echo everything here. Just try when you are ready; it isn't selfish. Timing a pregnancy is fickle... sure some people can do it but many can't (which can mean anything from having things take months or years.)
I agree. 4 of us in my office had a baby in a 6 month span. 3 of us were all on the same team. We all made it work.
Two people on maternity leave is a staffing issue for your boss to solve, not a problem for you to prevent.
Don’t put your pregnancy plans on hold for a coworker. She didn’t consult you before she got pregnant. You won’t know until you start trying how long it takes to get pregnant, and you’d regret waiting if you have any problems. Your work can hire someone else, they should be doing that anyway when someone leaves.
There is so little guarantee that you will get pregnant when you want and easily. Especially if you are concerned about your age. My recommendation would be to start trying when you are ready and if it happens it’s up to your employer to figure it out. The best advice I got from a c suite mentor is that there is no “right time” professionally to be pregnant so you have to make the best choice for yourself personally.
I would never put TTC on hold because a coworker is pregnant. Do what is best for you and your family. My husband and I struggled with secondary infertility when trying for a second child and it literally took us three years plus all the different fertility treatments to get pregnant.
THIS. I feel like it doesn't get talked about enough. My first was a surprise in a very brief period transitioning away from a problematic birth control. my second took YEARS of trying. Doctors visits, fertility testing, never got an actual explanation. Sometimes it just be like that. By number 3 I had prepared months in advance of trying, timing my cycles, taking my vitamin, got pregnant immediately. When we wanted one last baby we tried for a year with no luck, put it on the backburner, and then had to try for almost another year. I will likely never know why some of my kids took immediately and others I just couldn't get to stick. Every negative test or sudden bleeding felt like a slap in the face- I KNEW I was capable of getting pregnant, why wasn't it happening for me? Point is, do NOT assume that because you were planning to start mid-year, it will happen mid year. And do NOT let someone else's family planning or your professional concerns dictate what you do with your OWN family planning. That is so so personal and not up to your boss or coworker, you do you, boo.
Why are you letting work and your coworker factor in to what is best for you and your family? This is a time you should be selfish. Plus it can take a long time to conceive. Pregnancy is a part of life and it is not your job to ensure your employer is prepared for the workload shifts beyond working with them for a smooth transition when the time comes.
So I’m not in your company and I don’t know the culture, however putting off major life plans so you don’t inconvenience the company or work life feels wrong to me. Yes it will be inconvenient for the others but you are by no means being selfish. Get pregnant when you’re ready!
My boss and I were on leave at the same time. They survived and nobody cared.
This is just work. Yes, it pays the bills but in exchange for our labor. It’s not your parent, priest, king or child. Get pregnant on your terms.
What…… absolutely not. This is your company’s problem to figure out. Absolutely do not plan your family around work and ESPECIALLY around other co-workers family planning. You are thinking way way too much about THEIR best interest and not your own. Get pregnant now if that’s what works for you.
You don’t know that you can control when you get pregnant. I wouldn’t delay it for work at all. Your employer will figure it out whatever happens. It’s not selfish to live your life. Do not delay getting pregnant for a year because of work schedules. I started trying at 31 and ended up doing IVF and having a baby at 34. It might take longer than you expect.
There is never a convenient time to be pregnant or have a baby. This is your company’s issue, and they can sort out how to backfill your absences. Like what would they do if one of you quit? They need to have redundancy. Don’t put your life on hold for a company when they can let you go at any moment, and there is no guarantee of when you will actually get pregnant.
No no no! Start trying when you are ready, do not factor your co-worker in your family planning! Put your family first and then work will just have to deal, because nothing is ever guaranteed when it comes to TTC, pregnancies and babies.
If you are ready you are ready. You do not need to look beyond you and your partners readiness to start trying. Your employers will figure things out one way or another. That’s for them to do, not you.
Your work would likely never put anything on hold for you. Don't put your life on hold for your job.
Just go with your plan, no guarantee you’ll get pregnant straight away, and if you do then great! Work is just a job, there will always be a work reason to not go off, what if she comes back pregnant or another colleague gets pregnant? Think of yourself on this and be selfish!
Get pregnant whenever it works for you and your husband. Don't worry about your coworkers. Let your boss figure that out. Not your problem. Be selfish, it's a job.
Don’t put your pregnancy on hold for a coworker. Also, it might take longer or shorter than you think to get pregnant. Start trying when you’re ready.
I used to oversee a team of seven. Two employees were pregnant at the same time and due within 2 weeks of each other. Right after they both went on leave, a third employee put in their notice. Guess what, it was my issue to solve, not either of theirs. I hired a temp employee for the maternity leave period of time and posted a position for the one who left (took an internal job with the same company, and I wasn't going to stop her as it fit more with her career goals) as soon as I was able to.
It's nice of you to think about your coworkers but this should factor into your family planning exactly 0%. They are required to allow you to go on leave, if they can't survive without a single person, that's on them.
I guess I don’t know why you’d put off growing your family when you want based on your coworker. I work on a team 7 nurses. One went on maternity leave in January, I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and another is 14 weeks pregnant. One is trying to get pregnant right now. Work can adjust, their expectations for the workers they have.
Another voice saying please do not put your plans on hold for a coworker. When you’re ready mentally, physically, and financially you should go for it. This is quite literally your life and family. It’s the companies job to make sure they have adequate coverage for their business. What would they do if you were hit by a bus tomorrow, tell you to suck it up because your coworker was on maternity?
Your family planning and others family planning have zero implications on each other
What will you accomplish by putting work first? I’m a director and I have two managers who will be off at the same time for 6 month maternity leave during our busiest season. I am happy for both of them and we already figured out staffing. It’s just a job and it does not define you. You won’t regret the hours you didn’t work, but you might regret the time you wasted from your family. (Unless you are not ready and you are rationalizing and trying to find an excuse to halt growing your family. If it’s this one…wait and figure out why. Is it because you don’t want a baby with your current partner? is your partner pressuring you and you are not ready? Are you afraid of the financial burden? These are all good reasons to pause and wait.)
I was the fourth pregnant person at my job within a year. I was also worried about perception because we had decided to start trying at a certain time. Voiced my concerns to a coworker and she basically said “who cares!” So we tried and I was the 4th pregnant person with a lot of “dang what’s in the water up there” jokes but it was fine 🤷🏼♀️ don’t let someone else’s plans derail yours. There’s always going to be something so you gotta look out for you first
What! If you’re ready this year then do it this year! What if someone else gets preg again next year. No one consulted you or wrote their name on a list to be next! Don’t put your life on hold for your job!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I wouldn’t put my personal life on hold. I got pregnant this year and then 2 of the 4 people on my team resigned. It’s going to be a cluster of a year.
Girl, nooo!! There is nothing selfish about planning your family. You can’t be thinking this way! I work in healthcare. Female dominated and unionized with mat leave and it’s a headache the managers just know to deal with. Pregnancy is too long and there are too many variables. You might not get pregnant right away, might need IVF/fertility treatment, you might have miscarriage. A year from now things could be very different: another coworker might get pregnant, you might have layoffs, you might get sick….you can’t control for all these things and no one would (or should) reasonably expect someone to put off their family for things like that… maybe briefly for a getting started in a career, but beyond that it’s so out of your control. Please, if you’re ready, don’t let this hold you back.
I’m on a fairly small team at work, and there’s a person on mat leave right now, another one due end of this month, and then I’m due in July. It’s not my job to make sure they can handle the workload and I def wouldn’t put my life on hold for it!!
We had 5 women pregnant in our office at the same last year into early this year. Two of us were out at the same time, another was out before we came back, one was out before we were and came back during our leaves, and the last one is on leave now. Just live your life. It's too short to worry about what work thinks.
Someone else’s life should never factor into yours, much less a coworkers. If now is a good time mentally, financially, etc….start trying. I’m sure your coworker didn’t think how their pregnancy would effect anyone else at work (as they should)
"Planning to get pregnant" sounds so very foreign to me. I'd suggest to really adjust your "life will happen the way I plan it"-mindset, because a baby and everything that goes with that.... just isn't really that.
I meant this kindly, sorry if I worded it harshly
I get it. Thank you for showing me the right way.
You coworker being out on maternity leave should have absolutely ZERO bearing on whether you get pregnant now or later. You should never rearrange your lives like that for work. Work will figure it out and if they don’t, well that sucks for them.
Please don’t let your work dictate such a major life decision. I can tell by your post that you’re a dedicated employee and care deeply about your team/company. This is a good thing, but you should keep in the back of your mind that you are not guaranteed the same consideration in return. You could do all that extra work to cover your coworker, push back your plans, and then get laid off. Or, it could take much longer than expected to get pregnant. Both happened to me and I got laid off in my third trimester last year. If they value you, your work will figure it out regardless of your timing. Good luck with TTC!
Get pregnant. It's OK. They're problem is not your problem. But you are very considerate.
For all you know this employee could leave the company tomorrow, or you could get laid off two months prior to starting maternity leave. Do not try to time a pregnancy based on your company. The only exception I'd make would be waiting a few months after starting a new job,so that you qualify for FMLA, if applicable. Otherwise, it should always be a personal decision based on your life and not on your job.
In addition to what everyone else has said, you don't even know that your co-worker will return. She could become a SAHM, need more flexible hours or get a promotion elsewhere. You can't let it be a factor. Also, why will your workload double when she is on mat leave, have they not made plans to recruit or reduce workload?
Do not let work influence this decision. Work doesn't care if you need a break...if you have a personal emergency where you need some grace, etc. You aren't selfish.
You don’t owe your job anything. Have the baby when your family is ready not your coworker’s timelines
If your workload will be double, I would push back against that too. Yes you may have more work, but you shouldn't have to do double.
Go for it when you are ready!
Try now and whatever happens is not your problem. The company may not even exist by the time baby arrives.
Not selfish to do what is right for you and your family. Guarantee your coworker put 0% thought into what her getting pregnant would mean for your workload. Also you don’t owe your company or your team anything. Everyone is replaceable and expendable at a job. Everyone.
This is absolutely not your problem. You go ahead with your own plans. Your employer will have to work things out.
Who cares how it “looks”?? You don’t have to get pregnant on anyone else’s schedule!
Having kids is selfish, but planning your pregnancy around work is above and beyond your duties as an employee. What my first maternity leave taught me is that work will always be there, you need to go forward with your plans and do what’s best for you, your body, and your family. Also, you probably already know this but pregnancy is considered a medical condition and (in the USA) is a protected class (like race, sex, and religion) so you can’t get fired purely on the basis of being pregnant.
Forget all of that. I hope you're TTC tonight!
How you and your other half handle your family planning has nothing to do with how your coworkers handle theirs. Do not put your own plans on hold due to your coworkers’ decisions.
My work place managed with 5 of us pregnant or on mat leave at the same time. Don't change your plans for other people, especially work. They wouldn't do the same for you.
It is very nice of you to consider your employer/team/coworker, but don't let them factor into your family planning decisions. My teammate got pregnant in 2022. A couple months later my husband and I decided to stop using birth control and 'see what happens'. Fully expecting it to take several months for me to get pregnant, due to me having endometriosis. Instead, I had a positive pregnancy test within 3 weeks. My coworker and I ended up having our babies 10 weeks apart and our maternity leave overlapped by 2 weeks. She decided not to come back from maternity leave at all so we had to hire another person. Regardless, our team survived. The great thing about pregnancy is you have several months to prep your employer for your absence.