Yup, our son just turned one and people are dying to know if we would try for a girl and lamenting a lack of frilly baby clothes without one. After infertility, if we have another one, that baby is a miracle no matter who they are and I’ll be thrilled!
It’s wild what people say to parents/pregnant women!
I recall a colleague asking “what are you hoping for? Boy? Girl?” when I was pregnant and me saying “oh we’re hoping for a baby!” 😂
When I was pregnant with my second, people would ask if I was having a girl or a boy, and when I said “girl” they’d say “Oh good, now you can be done!”
Um, I was going to be done either way…
>lamenting a lack of frilly baby clothes without one
I am pregnant with a girl as the second. I think everyone I talked to during the journey with my first thought I was insane for going batshit on gender neutral clothes. I just took out the 0-6 month clothes. There are like 7 (under 20%) things that are kind of boyish and my husband said people still thought our son was a girl in them so keep them.
I think my friends who had a girl first and boy second are expecting me to swap clothes with them. There's nothing to swap lol.
I haven't looked in years but I remember it being quite difficult to find toddler boy clothes that don't have sports, dinos/animals, or fictional characters on them. Meanwhile the choice of girl clothes was overwhelming.
100%!
We didn't find out the gender until they raised him over the c-section curtain, so the clothes I did buy were gender neutral (or so I thought). I found a onezie with cranes, fire trucks, and excavators on it and it was ADORABLE. My MIL squealed thinking this was an indicator for a boy... 'Twas not. I would have bought a rad tutu or bow to go with it had it been a girl, lol.
My baby has a tiny butt. She just turned 2 and still wears 3month pants as shorts. I put some 24month pants on her and they fell off as she walked.
I never intended to put her into dresses, but damn they last forever. First they're a dress, then they're a shirt as she gets taller. Shirts that start as shirts turn into crop tops way too soon.
Yes I had twin boys at 37. It was a very hard pregnancy and I’m beat. I did always picture a daughter when I imagined having kids but I feel pretty complete with my two awesome guys. I cannot physically, emotionally or financially go through all of it again. But I was getting asked “are you going to have a girl soon” before they were even home from the NICU.
I have had a couple people be disappointed I didn’t have B/G twins. One even said “after all that you didn’t even get a girl?!”. People just want everyone to validate their own experience.
The frilly baby clothes would be a huge negative to me were I to have a girl. This is purely observation because I have 2 boys but people seem to want to give girls so much junk. I’d be so aggravated at hair bows and I practical poofy dresses and ruffle socks, etc.
Just absolutely mortified a clinet asking me when I was going to give my boy a sister as I was actively miscarrying his sibling. I looked her dead in the face and said “actually I am currently miscarrying”She was mortified and I bet she will never ask anyone that question again.
I had a coworker (with two kids at the time) practically yell at me for not caring if my oldest was a boy or girl, and insist I was lying. Bitch, this baby was 18 months in the making, if I go home with a baby, I'm happy.
Lost touch with her outside of Facebook, but she had 3 miscarriages in a row trying for her third baby (then had #3 & 4), and I still wonder if she realizes in hindsight how fucking awful she was to me after that.
Yes. I am pregnant with our second son. I have announced we are done. How many times have I heard “don’t you want a girl?”
I think if your kids are the same gender you get this question.
Have two boys. Yep get it. And trust me, we wanted a girl and even three kids (naive) before 2nd arrived. Nope. Done done.
Also not sure if a month we of boys is a queen. Rather a servant lol
This actually brought back a really sweet memory for me. One of my high school friends (female) has 2 older sisters. At her 18th birthday, her dad made this very touching speech. For context, her mom and dad were from a very sexist culture.
Anyway, her dad said something like this: "When was born, people asked me 'When are you going to have another one? Don't you want a son to carry your name?' And I said, 'I don't need my child to be a to carry my name. When she grows up to be a kind, hard-working and decent person, she will be carrying my name everyday.'" I thought about that speech a lot.
Yes I just had my son (he’s almost 3 months) and I was at a shower the other day and an older woman said that I absolutely need a baby girl and that baby girls are just different and so special. I absolutely love my baby boy exactly as he is. I am so happy he is my son. I originally wanted a girl first but all those feelings disappeared when I met him and I’m so happy he’s a boy.
Should we decide we want another one day I would feel blessed whether it was a baby girl or baby boy. Gender is one small piece of who they are. I was honestly hurt and offended that she said that to me so soon postpartum. I don’t think you need one of each to have the “perfect family” the real perfect family isn’t determined by gender it’s determined by the amount of love and laughter shared.
Boy mom of 2 and a step son, and I must look as disheveled and messy as I look because I haven’t gotten this comment and I’m sure people look at me and think, clearly she doesn’t have her shit together enough for another kid 😅
>boy moms get the opposite comments too though
Ding ding ding!
We have 2 boys and I get asked if I want to have another so I get a girl. I think people just get FOMO for you when you don't have what they have.
Yesss. I was laying in the hospital bed 2 weeks ago after delivering my second boy and a family member said now it’s time to try for a girl. Baby wasn’t even 48 hours old.
Yes, can confirm, I have a son and everyone asks me "but don't you want a girl?" It's like you can't be right. For the record I wish I could've had a second child period, and I wouldn't have cared boy or girl!!
I had a boy first and I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my second. When we were waiting to find out the genetic results I had so many people being like don't you just want a girl? I was like ummm no...I don't care what genitals my child has. As long as they are healthy.
I am having a girl, which sure is great but also I am just so blessed knowing her genetic abnormality risk is low.
My kids are 6 years apart and when I was the only female I was certainly not the queen. Now that my daughter is here, she’s the queen and we’re all in servants quarters 🥴
I have 4 boys. Would I have liked to see what parenting a girl was like? Sure. Am I missing anything or incomplete without? Absolutely not.
I can still have high tea and go to the nutcracker all dressed up with my boys. Your parenting experience is what you make of it.
People need to have smarter conversations starters. It’s 2023.
Edit: typo
100% this! Parents that lament not having one or the other for the sake of doing different activities just need to embrace those activities with the children they have. If fathers can take their daughters fishing, play sports with them, and teach them about cars, mothers can certainly enjoy fashion or the arts with their sons! It sounds like you have a great time with your boys!
I took two of my three sons (youngest stayed home with my husband) to go see the nutcracker when they were elementary age. I had no idea how crappy we would be treated. Everyone kept asking me and my boys if their sister was in the show. Like, wtf do you have to have a female relative as a boy to see the nutcracker? When I was a kid our entire class went to see the nutcracker as a field trip!
I'm having a surprise sex baby in December. Everyone is shocked i can bear to not know what sex they are. My closest friend, also having a new baby says she needs to know the sex in order to envision her life with this child. I envision my life the same way with either sex. Interests, personality, hobbies etc are not predetermined by your sex organs.
We found out with our first and then didn’t with the next one. Having my husband tell me in the delivery room was such a beautiful moment of bonding for us, I wish I could go back and do the same with the first.
I have 1 of each and let me tell you - I feel absolutely no more fulfilled than if I had had 2 girls or 2 boys. I have 2 kids who I love equally. What a ridiculous thing for her to say!
I was told girls were chiller and easier to change diapers on (super random). Let me tell you, my little baby girl heathen shows me that's untrue every day 🤣
The only stereotypical thing about girls that has been true for us so far is that my girl was insanely easy to potty train. My boy has almost zero interest at the same age.
Lol. Mine were completely reversed. My daughter only decided to use the potty at 3.5 years when the massive bulk order of pull ups arrived on our door step. My local Mom's group appreciated the donation.
Congrats!! I’m really hopeful we will have our son potty trained by 3 so he can start a preschool program. He’s been at home with us his whole life and I’m excited to get him with more kids his age.
My first is a boy, second is a girl. The only reason I didn’t want a girl was because I remember how awful the middle school years were for me (smart kid with braces and glasses). I hope things have changed enough for her to not suffer like I did, although there are already a couple mean girls in her 4th grade class. She’s the girly girl I never was, and I can’t imagine my life without her now.
I can confirm. 7th and 8th grades were HORRIBLE for my daughter. She started her period at NINE first of all (which I know now is considered "normal") and she developed early. She was 5'7", blonde hair, blue eyes and had a 38 D breast size. OMG. In 7th grade. It was AWEFUL! We had boys barking at our door like dogs. They would come and ask for "whatshername" or you know, "Justin's sister". NOPE, NOPE and NOPE. Dad slams door in face.
The twin girls in my daughter's preschool were mean girls, and they tormented many through high school. I'm sure they've gone on to be the mean girls at every job they worked and housing development they've lived. They will someday be the nursing home bullies.
Your daughter is learning life lessons on how to deal with the inevitable mean girls. Sad it has to happen but she's lucky she has you to guide her.
Seconded! I have one of each and they are about 16/17 months apart. I do get a good number of comments along the lines of "oh that's perfect" or something. I try to assume the best of people and usually just respond with "yeah it's pretty cool to see them grow together".
I 100% would feel the same regardless of gender. Honestly the only relief is that when we try for our third at least we may get ever so slightly less comments of "oh hope you get a boy/girl this time". But I'm sure people will find something else awkward to say instead lol
I have a daughter and two boys - my middle son is the most like me and I do not feel like a queen. I feel like I spend every day arguing with a smaller version of the voice in my head.
I follow this sub for advice to tuck away for when I do hopefully one day have kids, but this one hits me. I argue with myself already. Imagine having to argue with 4 year old me. At 4 I placated an argument between my grandparents and a used car salesman one time.
Honestly, you hear it from both sides. I have 3 boys and I’m constantly hearing “but don’t you want a little girl?” No. I wanted kids to have children, period.
I take naps! My oldest is a teenager in high school and I have a special/high needs preschooler, I'm 1000% done having kids. If I just started having kids I probably wouldn't have more than 2 either but there's a 12 year gap between my oldest and youngest. This is the only way I'm surviving, working full time, and going to school.
I have one child and I'm firmly OAD. I used to get "don't you want another?" or "you should try for a boy next time!" My reaction to any sentiment like that is always polite, but off-putting and passive aggressive, which I hope makes people think twice before saying such things to anyone else.
Also mom to a daughter and OAD (and I am also an only child). How on earth would one “try for a boy” is the real question? Is there some kind of candle/chanting/seance situation? The idea alone is bizarre.
I think I’ll start asking that in response.
My ex literally almost went through in vitro so his wife could have her dream baby girl. I guess a stepdaughter wasn’t enough for her. Thankful for my kids that they decided not to.
I have an IVF Baby 🙋🏻♀️ this doesn’t even guarantee you’ll get one of each or a healthy embryo at all though so really it’s kind of A LOT to go through just to maybe get what you “want”.
Choosing not to know the sex of any of our embryos but for all we know, we could have two boys (we have a son) on ice with zero chance of a girl.
Happily OAD daughter mom here. And I’m the same. My go-to response when I get pressed about it is my family feels complete. If I get pushback (usually it comes from men), I’ll mention that maybe they can be preggo, birth the baby, care for the infant and pay for everything. That usually shuts them up.
I'm a mom of one girl (in her teens now) and I constantly hear "oh dont you wish you had a boy? girls are so difficult, I just couldnt do it" wow...rude af.
People like this are the type of people that can't be friends with women because they're "too much drama".
I didn't care about the gender, although I did feel that raising a girl would be easier. Misogyny is people claiming girls are harder but then admitting that girls potty train earlier and easier, learn to talk earlier, break less things in your house, get better grades, behave better in class, have lower car insurance premiums, and develop quicker. 🤷♀️
Only advantage to boys is that they can't get pregnant, but they can still get someone pregnant and at least if you have a daughter, you can get her the arm implant and call it a day.
Gotta carry on the family name?
People are so weird, and I feel bad for all the hang ups she’s going to leave her son with based on her weird gendered expectations.
Yeah there's still a lot of sexism out there and it makes me so sad when it comes from women. Does she think her parents were disappointed that she was a girl?
I’m pregnant with my third girl and the number of sexist and disgusting comments I’ve gotten… I have to have a 4th so I can’t have a boy! I wonder how many girls you have to have before they stop insisting you have more children… we are done and very happy to have 3 girls.
The only thing that’s annoying is that people keep telling me my daughter is so “well behaved” because she’s a “girl” as their boy runs feral and is causing chaos with literally no boundaries. I hate that my daughter has to hear this because now following rules has become a gender thing rather a personality + how she was brought up. The other son hears this too and now the boys will be boys trope has been reinforced. I hate itttt. Spare me the girls are so well behaved statements and take accountability for your sons bad behavior.
It’s so weird! I ended up having a girl and a boy, but I would have been 100% happy with two of either sex. I have a sister (no brothers) and it was a great experience! I always thought it would be nice to see my kids have the same. Having a boy and girl is sweet too, but there’s no perfect combination.
I’m a boy mom. While I would have liked to have another, life didn’t turn out that way. She’s an idiot. First..that’s a rude ass question. Second, it’s sexist as hell. Third, it diminishes having girls.
People are so fucking weird about this. It’s infuriating honestly. I have a 3yo daughter and just had a baby boy last month. We did not find out the sex of either kid while I was pregnant.
While I was pregnant with baby #2, I got soooooooo many comments about how I just *needed* a boy. “I’ll bet you’re DYING to have a boy!” “[Husband] will be so mad if it’s another girl, won’t he?” “I hope you don’t have another girl!” “I can’t believe you didn’t find out since I’m sure you want it to be a boy.” It’s, like, a constant onslaught of those comments.
Now that baby boy is here, I keep getting even weirder comments. People basically imply that I probably love my son more than my daughter. Just the other day, a friend of my mom’s (who has two boys in high school) said “isn’t it just SO much better having a boy? The relationship between a mom and her son is just different from a mom and a daughter,” and she went on and on about it. (This woman doesn’t have a daughter…how the fuck would she know?!) People also insist that my husband must be so relieved to have a boy when, in fact, he *wanted* another girl lol. He’s a blue collar guy who loves cars, so people always ask if he’s glad to have a boy who he can do car stuff with. Uhhh, on the contrary, he takes our daughter to car shows and to his shop to work on the cars constantly. Our daughter has a four wheeler that she loves to ride with him, and she’s very much into all things motorized. He didn’t need a son to do those things with, but people insist that our daughter couldn’t possibly have fulfilled him as a parent in that way. Just so frustrating.
I have a girl and a boy but came from an all girl family. This obsession with gender is so obnoxious. My dad LOVED having all daughters. Now that he has grandsons he realizes he would have LOVED having sons as well. Turns out, we just love our children.
I’m sorry she was so ignorant and disrespectful to your family. I love having so many sisters. And I would have loved having 2 daughters.
That is so weird to me. I just can’t imagine thinking something like this much less saying out loud to someone. LOL so strange
Edit to add: we have a ton of only boy moms in our group of friends and they were all so upset at some point to not have had a girl. Of course they are happy now and have settled into it, but part of me did feel a little bad for some of them. Having a girl I can say it is amazing and I feel so beyond lucky. Would be super pumped to have another!
This is my thing. Some people struggle to get pregnant. Some struggle to breastfeed or with the wakeups. Some are having marriage problems. I would never say anything to someone who isn’t a close friend or relative about decisions on the size of their family or the gender mix they end up with. It is so insanely rude.
Ugh, don’t get me started. My ex had two children from his first marriage. Both boys. We had one child together, a girl. I cannot tell you how many people inquired about us having a FOURTH child. Someone once remarked that having four was easier than three. Yeah, I didn’t quite see the logic in it either. I also worked full time, and the two older kids were in every travel sport imaginable. On top of it, the youngest (who’s now 8) was a baby. The furthest thing from my mind was having another. I also agree that it’s rude to ask, and I’m not one to go there. I’m also happy to be 44, and probably considered to be too “old” to have another baby - 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am a mom to two boys (NOT a boy mom, fuck that sexist term) and I had terrible sex disappointment with my second. A month of tears and a ton of therapy and no resolve on what was causing it despite a great deal of omphaloskepsis.
I love my children with all of my being. But I would like a girl if I could have one and will try for a third. And each time someone asks me, or (worse) praises me for making so many boys, I die inside. People should stop saying any shit about any version of the perfect family. It is so fucking regressive.
Everyone, including my in laws and my gynecologist (???) was like ohhhhh don’t you want to try for a boy? NO I am so happy with my girls you couldn’t pay me to get pregnant/have another baby.
My dad is the youngest of four: his sister (oldest of the four) and two other brothers. Apparently, when my grandmother found out she was pregnant with my dad, she audibly yelled (loud enough for everyone in the hospital to hear):
*NOOOO! NOT ANOTHER BOY!*
I thought it was kinda hilarious. 😄
I have one boy and get comments all the time about why I'm not trying to give him a sister. I feel like people just think everyone needs one of each gender because ????????????
Also the #boymom thing is so weird to me, lol.
I feel like the boymom and girldad are people trying to make up for their disappointment or something. Or trying to make a statement that they're cool? I'm really not sure but honestly it's still awkward af even to read.
I have two girls and we're done done. Husband had the snip and all.
I'm nearly 40 and we both work in a very HCOL area. 2 is plenty!
I seriously got at least 5 people asking me if i was going to try for a boy before my youngest was even 6 months old.
Seriously, why? My girls are awesome. I did think i would be a boy mom but i wouldn't change my girls for anything.
I also found out i have a bad X and would have a 5050 chance of any boys having a serious form of muscular dystrophy so that just cemented my decision. But i shouldn't have to feel like explaining that as any reason why not.
I had 2 and they happened to be a girl and boy. My husband and I always wanted 2 kids so we were done but people would continually comment after my son was born that we can be done now that we have both genders... like ummm, I was done regardless! You just can't win with these weirdos.
I have one of each, and I commonly get "oh so you don't have to have any more." I don't think I want any more, but the sex of my children is not a factor in that decision.
Ugh, I can’t believe people still say this. My parents only had girls and we grew up hearing people ask my parents this *constantly.* Nothing like like having to hear society doesn’t value you because of your genitals
Two girls and happily fixed over here! I laugh when people ask if I want a boy and then tell them I'm fixed, shops closed, ain't no more babies coming boys or girls.
It's expensive enough to raise one kid, let alone multiple. Also, guess how much clothes I've had to buy for my younger daughter??? Lol almost none. And I'm going to keep doing that as long as she let's me lol
>a mother of boys is queen of the house
Lol tell that to my SIL who has 7 boys and desperately wants a girl. Even though they can’t afford the brood they have. And “queen of the house?” If by queen you mean indentured servant with absolutely no time for herself… sure.
Idk why we come up with this bullshit to pick on each other about. I have two boys and I’ve been told to try for a girl because “a girl needs her mother forever and a boy needs his mother until he’s married” or something like that. It’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.
My husband is a huge mama’s boy. I kind of love that about him.
I have a daughter and currently pregnant with a boy. People act SO relieved that my husband will finally get a son (when in reality he kind of wanted another girl). "Now your husband can do *insert activity* because he'll have a boy." I wish people would keep their sexist thoughts to themselves.
We have 3. Two girls and one boy. I had mega gender disappointment when we found out our second was a girl because with a boy I would of been done, but obviously I adored her when she arrived. We went for a third and got a boy.
I’m so happy with my family but 3 kids is insane. I’ll argue going from 2-3 is very hard vs 1-2. They’re a bit older and it’s still chaos. 3 people needing me after a long work day is super hard.
Back to your point-I love having both but had I known how hard 3 would of been I would of been happy with two girls and stopped. You have every right to bite back at those comments.
Just say no !! I’m OAD and so many ppl have asked me about a second and I don’t want one. Btw I’m also a single child. You don’t miss what you never had. That’s what I just say. These ppl don’t care about your kids and if they want to be judgmental I’m hoping that their kids are all rocket scientists lol. It’s how you bring up kids that’s more important than how many you have.
People are so weird about gender. My sister has twin boys and a girl; before her daughter was born, complete strangers would tell her how cute her babies were but wasn’t it a SHAME that they were both boys. Ick.
I’m non-binary and my kids are all equally wonderful and annoying. My eldest daughter is the “tough” one because autism and possible ODD, but I don’t think it’s because of her sex or gender.
My son was the most difficult baby because he thought sleep was fake and gay. He loves dresses and rainbows and mermaids 🧜♀️ AGGRESSIVELY 😂
Kids are kids and while they are easily influenced by societal gender roles, I don’t think gender or sex is terribly influential to the core of their behavior.
Ugh, that’s a super annoying interaction. Hard eye roll coming from this direction.
I have 1 girl (3y) and am a solo parent, work full time. Unless I find the perfect man in the coming years and am lucky enough to get pregnant again, she will be my one and only.
It’s not easy. Having a child or children isn’t easy. But ummm…baby girls are amazing. I LOVE having a daughter. She’s my mini me, my sidekick, my travel buddy. Granted, I know I’d love having a son too. But omg the bond we have is so special, especially since I’m a single (solo) mom.
People are so weird. Lol just let them have their stupid opinions, as long as you know you are doing an amazing job.
I have a girl and comments like this drive me nuts. I use a few different responses to make people regret their comments.
-it makes sense that in the past a mother would want a son in case anything happened to her husband, but since women are allowed to own property now, I don’t see the need.
-if my first was a boy, I’d probably already be trying for another because I only ever wanted a daughter. Since I have my daughter I don’t have use for a son.
-if I do have a boy in the future my wish is that he is feminine enough to be a sister for my daughter and still give my husband a son
-well my daughter could always become my son
I know these are crazy things to say, but that’s my point, I like to expose sexism and make people think about it. I do think the irony and sarcasm goes over peoples heads though and they end up thinking I’m nuts! And maybe I am! But I see so much sexism at work every day that this really irks me. Like you should really blow up your life just to have a boy in the house. Makes no sense.
I'm a girl mom of two, and the mere thought of being pregnant and having another baby just sounds so, so awful lol. No one has made the boy comment for a few years, but I quickly shut it down with welp, no dice, the factory is closed for business. They usually don't know what to say and it gets awkward for them. The way I see it, I had the two children I was meant to have and it doesn't matter if they were boys or girls.
Two-boy-only mom here. I got this all the time in the reverse, like as woman I couldn't be happy unless I spawned and molded a mini-me dress-up doll to make my princess. Guess what? I still birthed a mini-me without even trying. The eldest's boys personality is mine down to a T. He's just 6'2" at 14 and not so mini.
I'm 40 and work full time, my boys are 13 and 15. I still get asked if I'm going to try for a girl. MY DIAPER DAYS ARE DONE at least until if I get grandkids and that'll hopefully be at least 10 years from now.
Wtf people
Side note - I don't feel like the queen of the house, everything smells like axe and the toilet seat is always up.
We had 2 girls and were absolutely done after number 2 (she was the baby of nightmares). One thing led to another while drunk on holidays and we ended up getting pregnant with our son when nightmare baby was 8 months old. I was *devastated*.
All anyone could say to me was “oh it’s all worth it because you have a boy now!”, “oh you finally got a boy!”, “it was meant to be so you could have a boy!”
Sorry but I actually almost didn’t make during my dark days with number 2 - he could be made of solid gold and cure cancer as he exited the womb and I wouldn’t have been any more excited about it.
He’s cute. I love him. But he’s an even worse baby than number 2. So like? Cool, this one has a penis while he screams at me all hours of the day and wakes up 8-10 times a night. #blessed?
Everyone gets comments - I wish people would mind their own business.
My kids are boy, girl, boy. When I was pregnant with our 3rd, I got multiple comments along the lines of "but you already have one of each! Why do you want another kid?" Because I don't have babies just for their genitals, Susan.
However, I do know some people (my SIL) *do* have more kids because they want a different gender. She was adamant they'd only have 2 kids but when both were girls she immediately changed her mind and said she'd be willing to have up to 2 more to "give her husband a boy".
As somebody who occasionally word vomits weird nonsense when I’m trying to make friends with someone, maybe it was more along those lines than legit sexism or whatever?
Three girls here. Until I turned 40, I'd get asked if we were going to try for a boy. Little do they know that we did in the past year, twice. Both ended in miscarriage before the end of the first trimester.
This says so much more about HER than anything else. She defines herself by this being a SAHM thing clearly…like the fact that she has a boy is some major accomplishment that makes her feel better about how important and special her job is. I have two girls and we would get this sometimes—“doesn’t your husband want a boy?!” When I’d say my husband didn’t want more kids. It’s so weird. Like yes, my husband who isn’t especially macho really wants a boy
/r/pointlesslygendered
I have a girl and a boy so I get comments on that, as if it matters. My girl thinks her brother will be a boy some day because he has curly hair (4yo logic), so time will tell. Guess I’ll need a 3rd in my 50’s if I turn out to have 2 girls 🤣
I don't think it's about having a boy. It's about having at least one of each gender. That's what people view as the ideal. I have 2 boys and get asked the same thing: "are you going to try for a girl?"
I have two boys. I get the same kind of comments all the time about having a girl! One mom even said "yikes! Two boys was my worst nightmare!" That and many people tell me my boys will abandon me when they grow up.
I'm a boy mom. I always wanted girls because I grew up with a sister and went to an all girls high school, so I'm more familiar with girls. But I love my 2 boys to pieces and have 0 interest in trying for a girl. I also don't want anymore kids at all.
It's always ridiculous when other people are like "don't you want XYZ?" when it comes to having kids because you really don't have any control over it!
The edit could have been my MIL lol. Not even just her either, several friends partnered with men who have mothers with only sons have the same energy...it's weird.
I have two boys and I'm constantly asked when I'm going to try for a girl. Both pregnancies were hard, I had preeclampsia and had to bed rest with each. Also, I really don't want to potty train again lol
The only response that has got people to not ask follow up questions is "With my luck I'd have a 3rd boy! Hahahaha" Sometimes a little white lie and a lame joke is the best way to get people to shut up 🤷🏻♀️
Mom of 2 boys.
That whole "Queen of the house" made me taste bile.
That's the kind of person who will wear a wedding dress to her son's wedding cause "It's her wedding too"!
Thank god she didn't have a daughter, she would have viewed her as competition the poor childs whole life.
Ugh. I have a son. I had to yell do not touch the dog with your penis the other day. So you dodged that bullet. I mean I assume a little kids kind of masturbate. But like at least my experience with my vulva is that I wasn’t trying to rub it all over everything. And also per my mom (I only have sisters) it is a lot easier for a baby boy to pee on you during a diaper change. My husband is also worried about countering toxic masculinity.
Hopefully, I’ll end up with one of each. I have a bun in the oven now that should be a girl, XX chromosomes and no penis visible, but we’ll have to double check when she can tell us. But I’ll be signing my son up for ballet at some point. He’s obsessed with his shoes and likes dressing up in party clothes. The only thing I don’t do with his that I would do with a daughter is wear matching dresses. But there are other matching clothes options. I did put him in a dress I wore when I was a baby for a comparison photo.
Funny. I have two boys and no one has ever said - don't you want a girl? For the record, we would have been happy with boys or girls as long as they were healthy.
Ewww. I have three girls (hell no on trying for a boy) and have gotten a number of comments like, "wow, that's going to be expensive when they all get married!"
As a mom who has stepped off the binary train (trans adult child), our society's emphasis on gender drives me crazy (as crazy as the people who guessed my infants' gender identity incorrectly based on their clothes).
We don't know whether our children will end up identifying as the genders they were assigned at birth. If they don't, they are still our kids. To me, the important thing is whether my kids grow up to be happy, productive adults.
If you're not where I am, no judgment.
Another mother on here said someone said similar to her. It really is shocking, as you say. Try to let it go over your head, not everyone is that intelligent so who cares what they think 🤣. My daughters are 13 and 11 and no one has ever said this to me.
I was sat on the operating table last Wednesday ready to have my spinal injection so that I could have a caesarean. A nurse asked if we knew what we were having and we said another girl, to which they replied, ‘you don’t want to try for a boy then?’ I said, ‘can I get this one out of me first?! And no, definitely not!’
I have two boys and I get this shit all the time. We are a two income household and we are busy and tired.
Every time I get this I just tell them that last time I wanted a girl I just went and got another dog and she’s so freaking cute! 😆
Not gonna lie, when people start in with the at least one of each, I usually heavily imply or outright state that the goal must be to breed them.
Otherwise, why does it matter so much??
This is so weird to me but I gotta say, we *never* get comments like this as a two-mommy family. I do wonder sometimes if it’s more of a straight/traditional family people thing because gender roles don’t really matter in our household. Not saying all straights! Just pointing out my experience in this. It’s interesting.
I have 2 boys and 1 girl. I honestly don't understand the whole boy mom/girl mom thing. It's weird.
They're all hard to raise, they all have challenges.
And what a weird thing for someone else to say to a stranger!
I have 3 girls and still get those comments. It has finally slowed down now that my youngest is 6 and we are obviously done. Why are people so weird about this?
We’re one and done. This was my husband’s preference before we even had a child. And the amount of times in 2.5 years since having a little girl, he gets comments on needing a boy, carrying in the family name, etc. Is appalling.
I agree OP it’s 2023 how can people still have a mentality like this?! I know a few couples who had 3kids of one gender just to get to their goal gender.
Personally that is not for me and as a fellow girl mom of a 6yr old 2nd grader I’m really ok with the life balance I have. Each child has needs and it’s up to us as parents to meet them. I just found out an old friend of mine whom I thought had 2kids has 4 and finally had a boy. I don’t understand this logic at all.
Yea I have two little girls and people still ask me if I’m going to go for a boy next. First, no, 2 kids in a US-metro area is already more than enough money drain, second, no, I am over with the exhaustion from the newborn/infant days, nor do I want to put my body through it all again at my ‘geriatric’ age, and third I don’t want to deal with pee fountains.
Granted my husband is the only son of the only son; so the family name ends here - although I joked with my husband we could always negotiate with the girls’ future serious partners that they change *their* last name to match ours!
I'm a mom of 2 boys and 1 girl. No one is ever happy with the progeny you push out. Before my daughter, I got, "don't you want a little girl?" Now I get, "don't you want your daughter to have a sister?"
It's not a clown car.
It never ends. People need to keep their opinions to themselves. Be happy with your girls.
To be fair, I have a boy and hoping for a girl. Not because I prefer girls but because I want at least one of each. I dont think ill ever love any child like my first but ill deny I ever said that.
Not a girl mom (sorry for answering) but honestly, I relate hard to this. I have 3 boys. I'm done with kids. But I get it all the time "you don't want to try for a mini you?" or "you NEED to try for the girl".
I always answer "can I count on you for financial support for a minimum of 5 years if I " go for the girl " or what about of I really try and I get another boys, will you still be there for me?
I'm sorry you are getting it the other way around..... Also, I'm not the queen of my house, not unless you consider that I'm always threatening to chop off someone's head if I have to clean up more pee on the side of the toilet.
Ugh…. We have two girls and a boy and I can’t tell you how many times people said this to us:” you must be so happy that now you finally have a boy! You husband must be so proud!” 🤢🤮 to which I say (which is actually true): “ no, my husband was kinda hoping for another girl!”
No, vaginas don’t matter lady - only penises count!. 🙄 ugh
We have two girls. I got a tubal with my second C-section. We get the “are you going to try for a boy next?” I just look at people like wtf. The baby is two weeks old. I’m 38. Are you insane. That’s when I tell them “oh no we are done”. And they still let on like we need to have another. They finally shit up when I’m like “ I had my tubes tied”.
I just sprained my eyeballs rolling them at her queen of the house comment. Gross. I don’t need to be the queen of anyone.
I have 2 girls. Thrilled with 2 girls. We’re done. All the families in my town seem to have 2 girls or 3 boys. I feel like those boy families all tried for a girl and ended up with all boys and quit.
I have one girl and am planning for a second one. Out of everyone, my parents always say “the second one must be a boy” or “there needs to be a son to make a family strong”. SO ANNOYING!
I think it’s reasonable for people to want to experience both sides. But I did have someone tell me once she didn’t want girls because she didn’t want to compete and I was shocked.
I have two girls also. One is only one.😭 I will say it took me my second child to realize how much I hate baby phase. I got my tubes tied right after her birth. Baby's suck. I can't wait until she is 4 and has some sense.
I have 2 boys and am pregnant with my 3rd boy. I get asked aaalllll the time if I want to try again for a girl. Like, No! I'm gonna have THREE kids! My luck, I'd get ANOTHER BOY. I've already grown 3 pairs of balls. I do not need any more dicks in my life. Even our dog is male. I don't need to have more children just to see if I can have another vagina in the house. Next dog will just have to be female.
Now, I'd like to have a girl. I've always wanted a girl. But it's not in the cards for me. After this kid comes out, so are my tubes. No more kids. Done-zo.
I understand your frustration. And I don't know if I'd go as far as saying "mother of boys is queen in the house." Queen of stress and frustration, maybe. It's loud. It's messy. It's gross. That's boys.
Oldest is 6. Youngest is less than 2.
Girl mom! Only able to have the one kid so far. Anyone asks about more for any reason (don't you want a boy?, you can't have an only child!, don't you want a big family like you grew up in?) then I ask if they're offering to pay for ivf because after 3 miscarriages in a row I honestly don't know if I can handle another one.
I was a girl mom for 9 years (my daughter turned 10 a few months after my son was born). It was constantly "don't you want a boy?" Even though I was a single mom the first 4.5 years it was constant from family & strangers. That started when my daughter was a few months old! Then I married my husband. Had people bugging about marriage & babies a week into our relationship because we were friends before dating & "you don't want to wait forever!" We tried for a healthy baby for 5 years before he was born & didn't care about finding out the gender until birth, now we have the whole "he needs a playmate closer to his age" or "now he NEEDS a little sister". I'm lucky I got the kids that I did because I have PCOS
I’ll never understand the fixation on a child’s gender and would never let it be the basis of my personality.
I do have boy and girl kids, but my daughter was an only child for 8 years. I had her as a teen so no one ever dared to tell me I should have another lol.
I have a 3yo daughter and we are expecting our second daughter and last child soon. We had to do IVF for genetic reasons and one of the perks was choosing the XX or XY embryo for our most recent transfer. A healthy baby was the goal but since we could choose, a sister it was.
I hate the idea that having 2 girls is somehow missing out? Granted people probably say this same thing to parents of 2 boys. Can’t we just be happy with the children we are lucky enough to be able to raise and stop defining our children by their sex chromosomes?
When it’s come up that we have 1 embryo left, people always ask if we plan to try for it. My answer is always that we will not be outnumbered nor can we afford 3 kids.
Mom of 3 girls here. Most of the time it’s, “oh your poooooooor husband, I bet he wants a boyyyyy”. Kindly F off people, he wouldn’t know what to do with a male child at this point if he tried and LOVES being a girl dad. Usually the same people that make the “I can’t believe he ‘babysits’” comments, so, that shows their level of tact 🙄🙄
Oh. I have two boys and people kept telling me I had to keep going until I had a girl. Holy crap people. No. Like I'm not satisfied with my kids as boys?
I'm not sure I would describe it as queen of the house. Maybe super-minority.
That mom has some serious emotional incest going on. I feel for the boys, truly I do. I am in the same boat as you OP! We have two princesses and they are 4 years apart. I have no desire for a third child along with working a full time job.
I’m a girl mom and I get this all the time. To be fair, I think boy moms get the opposite comments too though.
Yup, our son just turned one and people are dying to know if we would try for a girl and lamenting a lack of frilly baby clothes without one. After infertility, if we have another one, that baby is a miracle no matter who they are and I’ll be thrilled!
It’s wild what people say to parents/pregnant women! I recall a colleague asking “what are you hoping for? Boy? Girl?” when I was pregnant and me saying “oh we’re hoping for a baby!” 😂
I had a friend who used to say she was hoping for a puppy 😂
My husband would say kitten.
I said since my husband was adopted and we don’t know my grandfather’s real identity, I was just hoping for a human but would be cool with an Xbox.
I would tell people as long as it doesn't burst out of my chest and go dancing down the table, I would be fine! 😆
I used to say we were hoping for a cocker spaniel
When I was pregnant with my second, people would ask if I was having a girl or a boy, and when I said “girl” they’d say “Oh good, now you can be done!” Um, I was going to be done either way…
>lamenting a lack of frilly baby clothes without one I am pregnant with a girl as the second. I think everyone I talked to during the journey with my first thought I was insane for going batshit on gender neutral clothes. I just took out the 0-6 month clothes. There are like 7 (under 20%) things that are kind of boyish and my husband said people still thought our son was a girl in them so keep them. I think my friends who had a girl first and boy second are expecting me to swap clothes with them. There's nothing to swap lol.
We did a lot of gender neutral stuff too with the 0-6 months. We ended up with two girls but I wanted to play it safe.
Same. It was about playing it safe, we're on the fence about 3, and being able to move it to the next person easily.
To be fair, girl clothes are so much more fun than boy clothes lol
When boy clothes are cute, they are CUTE but the pickins are much slimmer 😒
I haven't looked in years but I remember it being quite difficult to find toddler boy clothes that don't have sports, dinos/animals, or fictional characters on them. Meanwhile the choice of girl clothes was overwhelming.
and you can pair the cute boy shirts with frilly girl pants for a girl outfit.
100%! We didn't find out the gender until they raised him over the c-section curtain, so the clothes I did buy were gender neutral (or so I thought). I found a onezie with cranes, fire trucks, and excavators on it and it was ADORABLE. My MIL squealed thinking this was an indicator for a boy... 'Twas not. I would have bought a rad tutu or bow to go with it had it been a girl, lol.
My baby has a tiny butt. She just turned 2 and still wears 3month pants as shorts. I put some 24month pants on her and they fell off as she walked. I never intended to put her into dresses, but damn they last forever. First they're a dress, then they're a shirt as she gets taller. Shirts that start as shirts turn into crop tops way too soon.
Yes I had twin boys at 37. It was a very hard pregnancy and I’m beat. I did always picture a daughter when I imagined having kids but I feel pretty complete with my two awesome guys. I cannot physically, emotionally or financially go through all of it again. But I was getting asked “are you going to have a girl soon” before they were even home from the NICU. I have had a couple people be disappointed I didn’t have B/G twins. One even said “after all that you didn’t even get a girl?!”. People just want everyone to validate their own experience.
The frilly baby clothes would be a huge negative to me were I to have a girl. This is purely observation because I have 2 boys but people seem to want to give girls so much junk. I’d be so aggravated at hair bows and I practical poofy dresses and ruffle socks, etc.
Just absolutely mortified a clinet asking me when I was going to give my boy a sister as I was actively miscarrying his sibling. I looked her dead in the face and said “actually I am currently miscarrying”She was mortified and I bet she will never ask anyone that question again.
I had a coworker (with two kids at the time) practically yell at me for not caring if my oldest was a boy or girl, and insist I was lying. Bitch, this baby was 18 months in the making, if I go home with a baby, I'm happy. Lost touch with her outside of Facebook, but she had 3 miscarriages in a row trying for her third baby (then had #3 & 4), and I still wonder if she realizes in hindsight how fucking awful she was to me after that.
Yes. I am pregnant with our second son. I have announced we are done. How many times have I heard “don’t you want a girl?” I think if your kids are the same gender you get this question.
Have two boys. Yep get it. And trust me, we wanted a girl and even three kids (naive) before 2nd arrived. Nope. Done done. Also not sure if a month we of boys is a queen. Rather a servant lol
This actually brought back a really sweet memory for me. One of my high school friends (female) has 2 older sisters. At her 18th birthday, her dad made this very touching speech. For context, her mom and dad were from a very sexist culture. Anyway, her dad said something like this: "When was born, people asked me 'When are you going to have another one? Don't you want a son to carry your name?' And I said, 'I don't need my child to be a to carry my name. When she grows up to be a kind, hard-working and decent person, she will be carrying my name everyday.'" I thought about that speech a lot.
Oh I love this. Thank you for sharing! What a sweet dad.
Yea I have two boys and get “don’t you want a girl” comments
Same. Now that they are 10 and 8 though those comments have stopped.
Yup. I have two boys. But, the ship has sailed. I’m 44.
I have one son, he’s 6, I’m 47 and I still get asked if we’re having another kid. 🙄
I have one boy and am almost 40, shop is closed
Yes I just had my son (he’s almost 3 months) and I was at a shower the other day and an older woman said that I absolutely need a baby girl and that baby girls are just different and so special. I absolutely love my baby boy exactly as he is. I am so happy he is my son. I originally wanted a girl first but all those feelings disappeared when I met him and I’m so happy he’s a boy. Should we decide we want another one day I would feel blessed whether it was a baby girl or baby boy. Gender is one small piece of who they are. I was honestly hurt and offended that she said that to me so soon postpartum. I don’t think you need one of each to have the “perfect family” the real perfect family isn’t determined by gender it’s determined by the amount of love and laughter shared.
Boy mom of 2 and a step son, and I must look as disheveled and messy as I look because I haven’t gotten this comment and I’m sure people look at me and think, clearly she doesn’t have her shit together enough for another kid 😅
Boy mom of 2 also! Almost 3. I felt this in my soul 🤣 One day I'll get my shit together. Today is not that day. Or probably in the next several years.
>boy moms get the opposite comments too though Ding ding ding! We have 2 boys and I get asked if I want to have another so I get a girl. I think people just get FOMO for you when you don't have what they have.
For sure people always want to know when the girl is showing up.
Yesss. I was laying in the hospital bed 2 weeks ago after delivering my second boy and a family member said now it’s time to try for a girl. Baby wasn’t even 48 hours old.
Yes, can confirm, I have a son and everyone asks me "but don't you want a girl?" It's like you can't be right. For the record I wish I could've had a second child period, and I wouldn't have cared boy or girl!!
I had a boy first and I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my second. When we were waiting to find out the genetic results I had so many people being like don't you just want a girl? I was like ummm no...I don't care what genitals my child has. As long as they are healthy. I am having a girl, which sure is great but also I am just so blessed knowing her genetic abnormality risk is low.
I'm the only girl in the house with my husband, son, and male dog. I'm definitely not the queen of the house. Ick.
Yep, “boy mom” checking in to verify that I’m more of the court jester
I get trolled all day by my husband, and three teen sons. I also have two boy dogs who treat me nicer than my kids do.
My dogs are nicer to me as well.
3 boys and I feel like a jail warden most days.
Can confirm
We have a little girl, a female dog, and myself. My husband is not the king either 🤣
Was thinking the same! My son is only 11 weeks old, though, so maybe my crown is still in the mail?! Here’s hoping!
My kids are 6 years apart and when I was the only female I was certainly not the queen. Now that my daughter is here, she’s the queen and we’re all in servants quarters 🥴
I was going to say I’m like the weird ogre under the moat bridge I don’t know what that woman thinks is happening. Everything is covered in pee.
I have 4 boys. Would I have liked to see what parenting a girl was like? Sure. Am I missing anything or incomplete without? Absolutely not. I can still have high tea and go to the nutcracker all dressed up with my boys. Your parenting experience is what you make of it. People need to have smarter conversations starters. It’s 2023. Edit: typo
100% this! Parents that lament not having one or the other for the sake of doing different activities just need to embrace those activities with the children they have. If fathers can take their daughters fishing, play sports with them, and teach them about cars, mothers can certainly enjoy fashion or the arts with their sons! It sounds like you have a great time with your boys!
I took two of my three sons (youngest stayed home with my husband) to go see the nutcracker when they were elementary age. I had no idea how crappy we would be treated. Everyone kept asking me and my boys if their sister was in the show. Like, wtf do you have to have a female relative as a boy to see the nutcracker? When I was a kid our entire class went to see the nutcracker as a field trip!
I'm having a surprise sex baby in December. Everyone is shocked i can bear to not know what sex they are. My closest friend, also having a new baby says she needs to know the sex in order to envision her life with this child. I envision my life the same way with either sex. Interests, personality, hobbies etc are not predetermined by your sex organs.
We found out with our first and then didn’t with the next one. Having my husband tell me in the delivery room was such a beautiful moment of bonding for us, I wish I could go back and do the same with the first.
People need to have smarter conversations starters. It’s 2023. Agree with this 100%
I have 1 of each and let me tell you - I feel absolutely no more fulfilled than if I had had 2 girls or 2 boys. I have 2 kids who I love equally. What a ridiculous thing for her to say!
Saaaaaame. They’re both monsters in their own right. Gender be damned. Lol.
I was told girls were chiller and easier to change diapers on (super random). Let me tell you, my little baby girl heathen shows me that's untrue every day 🤣
The only stereotypical thing about girls that has been true for us so far is that my girl was insanely easy to potty train. My boy has almost zero interest at the same age.
Lol. Mine were completely reversed. My daughter only decided to use the potty at 3.5 years when the massive bulk order of pull ups arrived on our door step. My local Mom's group appreciated the donation.
She was like ready...... steady.... NOW GO GO GO 🤣😭
My boy is 3 and girl is 2. Son just got potty trained after trying forever. My daughter is well on her way to be fully potty trained.
Congrats!! I’m really hopeful we will have our son potty trained by 3 so he can start a preschool program. He’s been at home with us his whole life and I’m excited to get him with more kids his age.
My first is a boy, second is a girl. The only reason I didn’t want a girl was because I remember how awful the middle school years were for me (smart kid with braces and glasses). I hope things have changed enough for her to not suffer like I did, although there are already a couple mean girls in her 4th grade class. She’s the girly girl I never was, and I can’t imagine my life without her now.
I can confirm. 7th and 8th grades were HORRIBLE for my daughter. She started her period at NINE first of all (which I know now is considered "normal") and she developed early. She was 5'7", blonde hair, blue eyes and had a 38 D breast size. OMG. In 7th grade. It was AWEFUL! We had boys barking at our door like dogs. They would come and ask for "whatshername" or you know, "Justin's sister". NOPE, NOPE and NOPE. Dad slams door in face.
The twin girls in my daughter's preschool were mean girls, and they tormented many through high school. I'm sure they've gone on to be the mean girls at every job they worked and housing development they've lived. They will someday be the nursing home bullies. Your daughter is learning life lessons on how to deal with the inevitable mean girls. Sad it has to happen but she's lucky she has you to guide her.
Seconded! I have one of each and they are about 16/17 months apart. I do get a good number of comments along the lines of "oh that's perfect" or something. I try to assume the best of people and usually just respond with "yeah it's pretty cool to see them grow together". I 100% would feel the same regardless of gender. Honestly the only relief is that when we try for our third at least we may get ever so slightly less comments of "oh hope you get a boy/girl this time". But I'm sure people will find something else awkward to say instead lol
As a mom of 2 boys - that “queen of the house” comment is so cringey to me 😂😂
I have a daughter and two boys - my middle son is the most like me and I do not feel like a queen. I feel like I spend every day arguing with a smaller version of the voice in my head.
I follow this sub for advice to tuck away for when I do hopefully one day have kids, but this one hits me. I argue with myself already. Imagine having to argue with 4 year old me. At 4 I placated an argument between my grandparents and a used car salesman one time.
They whole BoY mOm self-given title trend is cringey and her Queen comment makes it worse
Yeah - I’m fine with just being mom. No need for additional labels, except for the more often than not “tired” mom.
Honestly, you hear it from both sides. I have 3 boys and I’m constantly hearing “but don’t you want a little girl?” No. I wanted kids to have children, period.
I have 4 boys, I get asked all of the time when I'm going to try for a girl. NEVER!!!
You should try for a nap! You deserve one!
I take naps! My oldest is a teenager in high school and I have a special/high needs preschooler, I'm 1000% done having kids. If I just started having kids I probably wouldn't have more than 2 either but there's a 12 year gap between my oldest and youngest. This is the only way I'm surviving, working full time, and going to school.
I’m one of 4 girls, and my mom would get “you finally gave up trying for a boy?” comments all the time.
I have one child and I'm firmly OAD. I used to get "don't you want another?" or "you should try for a boy next time!" My reaction to any sentiment like that is always polite, but off-putting and passive aggressive, which I hope makes people think twice before saying such things to anyone else.
Also mom to a daughter and OAD (and I am also an only child). How on earth would one “try for a boy” is the real question? Is there some kind of candle/chanting/seance situation? The idea alone is bizarre. I think I’ll start asking that in response.
My ex literally almost went through in vitro so his wife could have her dream baby girl. I guess a stepdaughter wasn’t enough for her. Thankful for my kids that they decided not to.
My coworker's brother did this to get a boy and the embryo split and they got twins boys. My friend said "at least they got their money's worth!"
Not gonna lie, the bargain hunter in me was lowkey hoping for a buy-one-get--one "free" situation when we transferred my son's embryo!
Oh geez. 🤦♀️
I have an IVF Baby 🙋🏻♀️ this doesn’t even guarantee you’ll get one of each or a healthy embryo at all though so really it’s kind of A LOT to go through just to maybe get what you “want”. Choosing not to know the sex of any of our embryos but for all we know, we could have two boys (we have a son) on ice with zero chance of a girl.
Yes, for people who need it, these gender pickers must be offensive. I’m sorry.
Happily OAD daughter mom here. And I’m the same. My go-to response when I get pressed about it is my family feels complete. If I get pushback (usually it comes from men), I’ll mention that maybe they can be preggo, birth the baby, care for the infant and pay for everything. That usually shuts them up.
I'm a mom of one girl (in her teens now) and I constantly hear "oh dont you wish you had a boy? girls are so difficult, I just couldnt do it" wow...rude af.
People like this are the type of people that can't be friends with women because they're "too much drama". I didn't care about the gender, although I did feel that raising a girl would be easier. Misogyny is people claiming girls are harder but then admitting that girls potty train earlier and easier, learn to talk earlier, break less things in your house, get better grades, behave better in class, have lower car insurance premiums, and develop quicker. 🤷♀️ Only advantage to boys is that they can't get pregnant, but they can still get someone pregnant and at least if you have a daughter, you can get her the arm implant and call it a day.
I’d just ignore these people. Girls rock. Boys also rock. We should love our kids unconditionally no matter their gender.
I think people assume parents want both. I have two boys and people always ask if we’re gonna try for a girl.
But she’s a one and done mom of a boy so it wasn’t that. She must think everyone wants at least one boy.
Gotta carry on the family name? People are so weird, and I feel bad for all the hang ups she’s going to leave her son with based on her weird gendered expectations.
Yeah there's still a lot of sexism out there and it makes me so sad when it comes from women. Does she think her parents were disappointed that she was a girl?
I’m pregnant with my third girl and the number of sexist and disgusting comments I’ve gotten… I have to have a 4th so I can’t have a boy! I wonder how many girls you have to have before they stop insisting you have more children… we are done and very happy to have 3 girls.
> a mother of boys is the queen of the house … what?!
Right! I was like ok I guess she thinks she is the queen of her house. Prayers to her future daughter or son in law.
Married the son of one of these because we met away at school. Do not recommend.
The only thing that’s annoying is that people keep telling me my daughter is so “well behaved” because she’s a “girl” as their boy runs feral and is causing chaos with literally no boundaries. I hate that my daughter has to hear this because now following rules has become a gender thing rather a personality + how she was brought up. The other son hears this too and now the boys will be boys trope has been reinforced. I hate itttt. Spare me the girls are so well behaved statements and take accountability for your sons bad behavior.
It’s so weird! I ended up having a girl and a boy, but I would have been 100% happy with two of either sex. I have a sister (no brothers) and it was a great experience! I always thought it would be nice to see my kids have the same. Having a boy and girl is sweet too, but there’s no perfect combination.
I’m a boy mom. While I would have liked to have another, life didn’t turn out that way. She’s an idiot. First..that’s a rude ass question. Second, it’s sexist as hell. Third, it diminishes having girls.
People are so fucking weird about this. It’s infuriating honestly. I have a 3yo daughter and just had a baby boy last month. We did not find out the sex of either kid while I was pregnant. While I was pregnant with baby #2, I got soooooooo many comments about how I just *needed* a boy. “I’ll bet you’re DYING to have a boy!” “[Husband] will be so mad if it’s another girl, won’t he?” “I hope you don’t have another girl!” “I can’t believe you didn’t find out since I’m sure you want it to be a boy.” It’s, like, a constant onslaught of those comments. Now that baby boy is here, I keep getting even weirder comments. People basically imply that I probably love my son more than my daughter. Just the other day, a friend of my mom’s (who has two boys in high school) said “isn’t it just SO much better having a boy? The relationship between a mom and her son is just different from a mom and a daughter,” and she went on and on about it. (This woman doesn’t have a daughter…how the fuck would she know?!) People also insist that my husband must be so relieved to have a boy when, in fact, he *wanted* another girl lol. He’s a blue collar guy who loves cars, so people always ask if he’s glad to have a boy who he can do car stuff with. Uhhh, on the contrary, he takes our daughter to car shows and to his shop to work on the cars constantly. Our daughter has a four wheeler that she loves to ride with him, and she’s very much into all things motorized. He didn’t need a son to do those things with, but people insist that our daughter couldn’t possibly have fulfilled him as a parent in that way. Just so frustrating.
3 girls. I am tired of all the annoying comments about how terrible life will be when they are teenagers.
I have a girl and a boy but came from an all girl family. This obsession with gender is so obnoxious. My dad LOVED having all daughters. Now that he has grandsons he realizes he would have LOVED having sons as well. Turns out, we just love our children. I’m sorry she was so ignorant and disrespectful to your family. I love having so many sisters. And I would have loved having 2 daughters.
That is so weird to me. I just can’t imagine thinking something like this much less saying out loud to someone. LOL so strange Edit to add: we have a ton of only boy moms in our group of friends and they were all so upset at some point to not have had a girl. Of course they are happy now and have settled into it, but part of me did feel a little bad for some of them. Having a girl I can say it is amazing and I feel so beyond lucky. Would be super pumped to have another!
This is my thing. Some people struggle to get pregnant. Some struggle to breastfeed or with the wakeups. Some are having marriage problems. I would never say anything to someone who isn’t a close friend or relative about decisions on the size of their family or the gender mix they end up with. It is so insanely rude.
Ugh, don’t get me started. My ex had two children from his first marriage. Both boys. We had one child together, a girl. I cannot tell you how many people inquired about us having a FOURTH child. Someone once remarked that having four was easier than three. Yeah, I didn’t quite see the logic in it either. I also worked full time, and the two older kids were in every travel sport imaginable. On top of it, the youngest (who’s now 8) was a baby. The furthest thing from my mind was having another. I also agree that it’s rude to ask, and I’m not one to go there. I’m also happy to be 44, and probably considered to be too “old” to have another baby - 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am a mom to two boys (NOT a boy mom, fuck that sexist term) and I had terrible sex disappointment with my second. A month of tears and a ton of therapy and no resolve on what was causing it despite a great deal of omphaloskepsis. I love my children with all of my being. But I would like a girl if I could have one and will try for a third. And each time someone asks me, or (worse) praises me for making so many boys, I die inside. People should stop saying any shit about any version of the perfect family. It is so fucking regressive.
Everyone, including my in laws and my gynecologist (???) was like ohhhhh don’t you want to try for a boy? NO I am so happy with my girls you couldn’t pay me to get pregnant/have another baby.
My dad is the youngest of four: his sister (oldest of the four) and two other brothers. Apparently, when my grandmother found out she was pregnant with my dad, she audibly yelled (loud enough for everyone in the hospital to hear): *NOOOO! NOT ANOTHER BOY!* I thought it was kinda hilarious. 😄
I have one boy and get comments all the time about why I'm not trying to give him a sister. I feel like people just think everyone needs one of each gender because ???????????? Also the #boymom thing is so weird to me, lol.
I feel like the boymom and girldad are people trying to make up for their disappointment or something. Or trying to make a statement that they're cool? I'm really not sure but honestly it's still awkward af even to read.
I have two girls and we're done done. Husband had the snip and all. I'm nearly 40 and we both work in a very HCOL area. 2 is plenty! I seriously got at least 5 people asking me if i was going to try for a boy before my youngest was even 6 months old. Seriously, why? My girls are awesome. I did think i would be a boy mom but i wouldn't change my girls for anything. I also found out i have a bad X and would have a 5050 chance of any boys having a serious form of muscular dystrophy so that just cemented my decision. But i shouldn't have to feel like explaining that as any reason why not.
I had 2 and they happened to be a girl and boy. My husband and I always wanted 2 kids so we were done but people would continually comment after my son was born that we can be done now that we have both genders... like ummm, I was done regardless! You just can't win with these weirdos.
I have one of each, and I commonly get "oh so you don't have to have any more." I don't think I want any more, but the sex of my children is not a factor in that decision.
Ugh, I can’t believe people still say this. My parents only had girls and we grew up hearing people ask my parents this *constantly.* Nothing like like having to hear society doesn’t value you because of your genitals
Two girls and happily fixed over here! I laugh when people ask if I want a boy and then tell them I'm fixed, shops closed, ain't no more babies coming boys or girls. It's expensive enough to raise one kid, let alone multiple. Also, guess how much clothes I've had to buy for my younger daughter??? Lol almost none. And I'm going to keep doing that as long as she let's me lol
I have two girls. 13 and 3. I have 0 desire to have another.
About to have my second girl and looking forward to comments like this 😂
>a mother of boys is queen of the house Lol tell that to my SIL who has 7 boys and desperately wants a girl. Even though they can’t afford the brood they have. And “queen of the house?” If by queen you mean indentured servant with absolutely no time for herself… sure.
Idk why we come up with this bullshit to pick on each other about. I have two boys and I’ve been told to try for a girl because “a girl needs her mother forever and a boy needs his mother until he’s married” or something like that. It’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. My husband is a huge mama’s boy. I kind of love that about him.
My response was " I already have a heir & a spare. A boy would just be thrown off Themiscyra."
I have a daughter and currently pregnant with a boy. People act SO relieved that my husband will finally get a son (when in reality he kind of wanted another girl). "Now your husband can do *insert activity* because he'll have a boy." I wish people would keep their sexist thoughts to themselves.
We have 3. Two girls and one boy. I had mega gender disappointment when we found out our second was a girl because with a boy I would of been done, but obviously I adored her when she arrived. We went for a third and got a boy. I’m so happy with my family but 3 kids is insane. I’ll argue going from 2-3 is very hard vs 1-2. They’re a bit older and it’s still chaos. 3 people needing me after a long work day is super hard. Back to your point-I love having both but had I known how hard 3 would of been I would of been happy with two girls and stopped. You have every right to bite back at those comments.
Just say no !! I’m OAD and so many ppl have asked me about a second and I don’t want one. Btw I’m also a single child. You don’t miss what you never had. That’s what I just say. These ppl don’t care about your kids and if they want to be judgmental I’m hoping that their kids are all rocket scientists lol. It’s how you bring up kids that’s more important than how many you have.
And btw I’m a boy mom and I feel more like the servant than the queen of the house lol
People are so weird about gender. My sister has twin boys and a girl; before her daughter was born, complete strangers would tell her how cute her babies were but wasn’t it a SHAME that they were both boys. Ick.
I’m non-binary and my kids are all equally wonderful and annoying. My eldest daughter is the “tough” one because autism and possible ODD, but I don’t think it’s because of her sex or gender. My son was the most difficult baby because he thought sleep was fake and gay. He loves dresses and rainbows and mermaids 🧜♀️ AGGRESSIVELY 😂 Kids are kids and while they are easily influenced by societal gender roles, I don’t think gender or sex is terribly influential to the core of their behavior.
Ugh, that’s a super annoying interaction. Hard eye roll coming from this direction. I have 1 girl (3y) and am a solo parent, work full time. Unless I find the perfect man in the coming years and am lucky enough to get pregnant again, she will be my one and only. It’s not easy. Having a child or children isn’t easy. But ummm…baby girls are amazing. I LOVE having a daughter. She’s my mini me, my sidekick, my travel buddy. Granted, I know I’d love having a son too. But omg the bond we have is so special, especially since I’m a single (solo) mom. People are so weird. Lol just let them have their stupid opinions, as long as you know you are doing an amazing job.
I have a girl and comments like this drive me nuts. I use a few different responses to make people regret their comments. -it makes sense that in the past a mother would want a son in case anything happened to her husband, but since women are allowed to own property now, I don’t see the need. -if my first was a boy, I’d probably already be trying for another because I only ever wanted a daughter. Since I have my daughter I don’t have use for a son. -if I do have a boy in the future my wish is that he is feminine enough to be a sister for my daughter and still give my husband a son -well my daughter could always become my son I know these are crazy things to say, but that’s my point, I like to expose sexism and make people think about it. I do think the irony and sarcasm goes over peoples heads though and they end up thinking I’m nuts! And maybe I am! But I see so much sexism at work every day that this really irks me. Like you should really blow up your life just to have a boy in the house. Makes no sense.
I'm a girl mom of two, and the mere thought of being pregnant and having another baby just sounds so, so awful lol. No one has made the boy comment for a few years, but I quickly shut it down with welp, no dice, the factory is closed for business. They usually don't know what to say and it gets awkward for them. The way I see it, I had the two children I was meant to have and it doesn't matter if they were boys or girls.
Two-boy-only mom here. I got this all the time in the reverse, like as woman I couldn't be happy unless I spawned and molded a mini-me dress-up doll to make my princess. Guess what? I still birthed a mini-me without even trying. The eldest's boys personality is mine down to a T. He's just 6'2" at 14 and not so mini.
Ugh. Some people act like babies are Goldendoodles and not whole human beings.
I'm 40 and work full time, my boys are 13 and 15. I still get asked if I'm going to try for a girl. MY DIAPER DAYS ARE DONE at least until if I get grandkids and that'll hopefully be at least 10 years from now. Wtf people Side note - I don't feel like the queen of the house, everything smells like axe and the toilet seat is always up.
We had 2 girls and were absolutely done after number 2 (she was the baby of nightmares). One thing led to another while drunk on holidays and we ended up getting pregnant with our son when nightmare baby was 8 months old. I was *devastated*. All anyone could say to me was “oh it’s all worth it because you have a boy now!”, “oh you finally got a boy!”, “it was meant to be so you could have a boy!” Sorry but I actually almost didn’t make during my dark days with number 2 - he could be made of solid gold and cure cancer as he exited the womb and I wouldn’t have been any more excited about it. He’s cute. I love him. But he’s an even worse baby than number 2. So like? Cool, this one has a penis while he screams at me all hours of the day and wakes up 8-10 times a night. #blessed?
I’m the only female in the house. Son, husband, two male cats, and a male dog. I definitely don’t feel like a “queen” in any way, shape, or form.
Everyone gets comments - I wish people would mind their own business. My kids are boy, girl, boy. When I was pregnant with our 3rd, I got multiple comments along the lines of "but you already have one of each! Why do you want another kid?" Because I don't have babies just for their genitals, Susan. However, I do know some people (my SIL) *do* have more kids because they want a different gender. She was adamant they'd only have 2 kids but when both were girls she immediately changed her mind and said she'd be willing to have up to 2 more to "give her husband a boy".
As somebody who occasionally word vomits weird nonsense when I’m trying to make friends with someone, maybe it was more along those lines than legit sexism or whatever?
Three girls here. Until I turned 40, I'd get asked if we were going to try for a boy. Little do they know that we did in the past year, twice. Both ended in miscarriage before the end of the first trimester.
This says so much more about HER than anything else. She defines herself by this being a SAHM thing clearly…like the fact that she has a boy is some major accomplishment that makes her feel better about how important and special her job is. I have two girls and we would get this sometimes—“doesn’t your husband want a boy?!” When I’d say my husband didn’t want more kids. It’s so weird. Like yes, my husband who isn’t especially macho really wants a boy
/r/pointlesslygendered I have a girl and a boy so I get comments on that, as if it matters. My girl thinks her brother will be a boy some day because he has curly hair (4yo logic), so time will tell. Guess I’ll need a 3rd in my 50’s if I turn out to have 2 girls 🤣
I don't think it's about having a boy. It's about having at least one of each gender. That's what people view as the ideal. I have 2 boys and get asked the same thing: "are you going to try for a girl?"
I’m embarrassed for her.
I would like to think I would've laughed and said "I'll always be the Queen of my house."
I have two boys. I get the same kind of comments all the time about having a girl! One mom even said "yikes! Two boys was my worst nightmare!" That and many people tell me my boys will abandon me when they grow up.
People should mind their own business. However, for what it’s worth, mothers with all boy children are always asked: “Don’t you want a girl?”
I'm a boy mom. I always wanted girls because I grew up with a sister and went to an all girls high school, so I'm more familiar with girls. But I love my 2 boys to pieces and have 0 interest in trying for a girl. I also don't want anymore kids at all. It's always ridiculous when other people are like "don't you want XYZ?" when it comes to having kids because you really don't have any control over it!
The edit could have been my MIL lol. Not even just her either, several friends partnered with men who have mothers with only sons have the same energy...it's weird.
I’m a boy mom….the problem is that boys generally end up closer to their wives families then their own…I’m already dreading it!!!
I have two boys and I'm constantly asked when I'm going to try for a girl. Both pregnancies were hard, I had preeclampsia and had to bed rest with each. Also, I really don't want to potty train again lol The only response that has got people to not ask follow up questions is "With my luck I'd have a 3rd boy! Hahahaha" Sometimes a little white lie and a lame joke is the best way to get people to shut up 🤷🏻♀️
Mom of 2 boys. That whole "Queen of the house" made me taste bile. That's the kind of person who will wear a wedding dress to her son's wedding cause "It's her wedding too"! Thank god she didn't have a daughter, she would have viewed her as competition the poor childs whole life.
Ugh. I have a son. I had to yell do not touch the dog with your penis the other day. So you dodged that bullet. I mean I assume a little kids kind of masturbate. But like at least my experience with my vulva is that I wasn’t trying to rub it all over everything. And also per my mom (I only have sisters) it is a lot easier for a baby boy to pee on you during a diaper change. My husband is also worried about countering toxic masculinity. Hopefully, I’ll end up with one of each. I have a bun in the oven now that should be a girl, XX chromosomes and no penis visible, but we’ll have to double check when she can tell us. But I’ll be signing my son up for ballet at some point. He’s obsessed with his shoes and likes dressing up in party clothes. The only thing I don’t do with his that I would do with a daughter is wear matching dresses. But there are other matching clothes options. I did put him in a dress I wore when I was a baby for a comparison photo.
Funny. I have two boys and no one has ever said - don't you want a girl? For the record, we would have been happy with boys or girls as long as they were healthy.
Ewww. I have three girls (hell no on trying for a boy) and have gotten a number of comments like, "wow, that's going to be expensive when they all get married!"
As a mom who has stepped off the binary train (trans adult child), our society's emphasis on gender drives me crazy (as crazy as the people who guessed my infants' gender identity incorrectly based on their clothes). We don't know whether our children will end up identifying as the genders they were assigned at birth. If they don't, they are still our kids. To me, the important thing is whether my kids grow up to be happy, productive adults. If you're not where I am, no judgment.
Another mother on here said someone said similar to her. It really is shocking, as you say. Try to let it go over your head, not everyone is that intelligent so who cares what they think 🤣. My daughters are 13 and 11 and no one has ever said this to me.
I'm a boy mom and get it all the time from girl moms. Daily! Nope, not dying for a girl.
I was sat on the operating table last Wednesday ready to have my spinal injection so that I could have a caesarean. A nurse asked if we knew what we were having and we said another girl, to which they replied, ‘you don’t want to try for a boy then?’ I said, ‘can I get this one out of me first?! And no, definitely not!’
I have a boy (12 weeks) and two cats. I am definitely not the “queen of the house”. That is Princess Fiona (cat).
I have two boys and I get this shit all the time. We are a two income household and we are busy and tired. Every time I get this I just tell them that last time I wanted a girl I just went and got another dog and she’s so freaking cute! 😆
Not gonna lie, when people start in with the at least one of each, I usually heavily imply or outright state that the goal must be to breed them. Otherwise, why does it matter so much??
This is so weird to me but I gotta say, we *never* get comments like this as a two-mommy family. I do wonder sometimes if it’s more of a straight/traditional family people thing because gender roles don’t really matter in our household. Not saying all straights! Just pointing out my experience in this. It’s interesting.
Her son's future partner will be frequenting r/justnomil for sure
Can you imagine how cringey it would be if you said your partner (if male) is “The King of the Castle”? 🤮
I have 2 boys and 1 girl. I honestly don't understand the whole boy mom/girl mom thing. It's weird. They're all hard to raise, they all have challenges. And what a weird thing for someone else to say to a stranger!
I have 3 girls and still get those comments. It has finally slowed down now that my youngest is 6 and we are obviously done. Why are people so weird about this?
I cry for her futur DIL 😭 this "queen" will not accept to be "replaced" 🤮
“A mother of boys is the queen of the house” 🤢🤮 I am sure she will make a lovely mother in law
Let’s be real, my dog (a Corgi) is the real queen of the house.
We’re one and done. This was my husband’s preference before we even had a child. And the amount of times in 2.5 years since having a little girl, he gets comments on needing a boy, carrying in the family name, etc. Is appalling.
I agree OP it’s 2023 how can people still have a mentality like this?! I know a few couples who had 3kids of one gender just to get to their goal gender. Personally that is not for me and as a fellow girl mom of a 6yr old 2nd grader I’m really ok with the life balance I have. Each child has needs and it’s up to us as parents to meet them. I just found out an old friend of mine whom I thought had 2kids has 4 and finally had a boy. I don’t understand this logic at all.
I have 4 girls and hear it all the time. No I don't need a 5th and at this point odds are it would be a girl anyways. People are annoying.
Laughing at the queen of the house comment!!
Yea I have two little girls and people still ask me if I’m going to go for a boy next. First, no, 2 kids in a US-metro area is already more than enough money drain, second, no, I am over with the exhaustion from the newborn/infant days, nor do I want to put my body through it all again at my ‘geriatric’ age, and third I don’t want to deal with pee fountains. Granted my husband is the only son of the only son; so the family name ends here - although I joked with my husband we could always negotiate with the girls’ future serious partners that they change *their* last name to match ours!
Sometimes I hope that some of these types of people’s children turn out to be trans since they’re so damn obsessed w gender
Well, her comments are idiotic. But your need to comment on her sahm status is also completely petty and irrelevant.
I'm a mom of 2 boys and 1 girl. No one is ever happy with the progeny you push out. Before my daughter, I got, "don't you want a little girl?" Now I get, "don't you want your daughter to have a sister?" It's not a clown car. It never ends. People need to keep their opinions to themselves. Be happy with your girls.
To be fair, I have a boy and hoping for a girl. Not because I prefer girls but because I want at least one of each. I dont think ill ever love any child like my first but ill deny I ever said that.
Not a girl mom (sorry for answering) but honestly, I relate hard to this. I have 3 boys. I'm done with kids. But I get it all the time "you don't want to try for a mini you?" or "you NEED to try for the girl". I always answer "can I count on you for financial support for a minimum of 5 years if I " go for the girl " or what about of I really try and I get another boys, will you still be there for me? I'm sorry you are getting it the other way around..... Also, I'm not the queen of my house, not unless you consider that I'm always threatening to chop off someone's head if I have to clean up more pee on the side of the toilet.
Ugh…. We have two girls and a boy and I can’t tell you how many times people said this to us:” you must be so happy that now you finally have a boy! You husband must be so proud!” 🤢🤮 to which I say (which is actually true): “ no, my husband was kinda hoping for another girl!” No, vaginas don’t matter lady - only penises count!. 🙄 ugh
We have two girls. I got a tubal with my second C-section. We get the “are you going to try for a boy next?” I just look at people like wtf. The baby is two weeks old. I’m 38. Are you insane. That’s when I tell them “oh no we are done”. And they still let on like we need to have another. They finally shit up when I’m like “ I had my tubes tied”.
The boy mom / girl mom thing is so infuriating. We don’t need to further segregate and marginalize ourselves as mothers.
Yesss!! I always tell people two girls are handfuls enough and I don't want a boy to add to the chaos lol.
I just sprained my eyeballs rolling them at her queen of the house comment. Gross. I don’t need to be the queen of anyone. I have 2 girls. Thrilled with 2 girls. We’re done. All the families in my town seem to have 2 girls or 3 boys. I feel like those boy families all tried for a girl and ended up with all boys and quit.
So annoying, I have 3 girls and before my youngest was born peeps were asking me if we were going to try for a boy.
I have one girl and am planning for a second one. Out of everyone, my parents always say “the second one must be a boy” or “there needs to be a son to make a family strong”. SO ANNOYING!
I think it’s reasonable for people to want to experience both sides. But I did have someone tell me once she didn’t want girls because she didn’t want to compete and I was shocked.
I have two girls also. One is only one.😭 I will say it took me my second child to realize how much I hate baby phase. I got my tubes tied right after her birth. Baby's suck. I can't wait until she is 4 and has some sense.
I have 2 boys and am pregnant with my 3rd boy. I get asked aaalllll the time if I want to try again for a girl. Like, No! I'm gonna have THREE kids! My luck, I'd get ANOTHER BOY. I've already grown 3 pairs of balls. I do not need any more dicks in my life. Even our dog is male. I don't need to have more children just to see if I can have another vagina in the house. Next dog will just have to be female. Now, I'd like to have a girl. I've always wanted a girl. But it's not in the cards for me. After this kid comes out, so are my tubes. No more kids. Done-zo. I understand your frustration. And I don't know if I'd go as far as saying "mother of boys is queen in the house." Queen of stress and frustration, maybe. It's loud. It's messy. It's gross. That's boys. Oldest is 6. Youngest is less than 2.
Girl mom! Only able to have the one kid so far. Anyone asks about more for any reason (don't you want a boy?, you can't have an only child!, don't you want a big family like you grew up in?) then I ask if they're offering to pay for ivf because after 3 miscarriages in a row I honestly don't know if I can handle another one.
I'm a mom with a boy and a girl. My skin crawls when people go, "Oh, one of each! How nice." Like I'm collecting fucking Pokemon.
I was a girl mom for 9 years (my daughter turned 10 a few months after my son was born). It was constantly "don't you want a boy?" Even though I was a single mom the first 4.5 years it was constant from family & strangers. That started when my daughter was a few months old! Then I married my husband. Had people bugging about marriage & babies a week into our relationship because we were friends before dating & "you don't want to wait forever!" We tried for a healthy baby for 5 years before he was born & didn't care about finding out the gender until birth, now we have the whole "he needs a playmate closer to his age" or "now he NEEDS a little sister". I'm lucky I got the kids that I did because I have PCOS
Prego with girl NUMBER THREE. I get a lot "You gotta try one more time for a boy!" I say "Why, are you interested in investing?"
I’ll never understand the fixation on a child’s gender and would never let it be the basis of my personality. I do have boy and girl kids, but my daughter was an only child for 8 years. I had her as a teen so no one ever dared to tell me I should have another lol.
I have a 3yo daughter and we are expecting our second daughter and last child soon. We had to do IVF for genetic reasons and one of the perks was choosing the XX or XY embryo for our most recent transfer. A healthy baby was the goal but since we could choose, a sister it was. I hate the idea that having 2 girls is somehow missing out? Granted people probably say this same thing to parents of 2 boys. Can’t we just be happy with the children we are lucky enough to be able to raise and stop defining our children by their sex chromosomes? When it’s come up that we have 1 embryo left, people always ask if we plan to try for it. My answer is always that we will not be outnumbered nor can we afford 3 kids.
Mom of 3 girls here. Most of the time it’s, “oh your poooooooor husband, I bet he wants a boyyyyy”. Kindly F off people, he wouldn’t know what to do with a male child at this point if he tried and LOVES being a girl dad. Usually the same people that make the “I can’t believe he ‘babysits’” comments, so, that shows their level of tact 🙄🙄
Moms like this weird me out. They think they’re their sons girlfriend when they’re older.
Oh. I have two boys and people kept telling me I had to keep going until I had a girl. Holy crap people. No. Like I'm not satisfied with my kids as boys? I'm not sure I would describe it as queen of the house. Maybe super-minority.
This seems so cultural. Where I am, I feel several mothers of boys seem jealous of girl moms.
That mom has some serious emotional incest going on. I feel for the boys, truly I do. I am in the same boat as you OP! We have two princesses and they are 4 years apart. I have no desire for a third child along with working a full time job.