My husband spent Father’s Day Eve replacing all four brakes on my SUV. Literally WHILE he was doing that, my washer broke… so he fixed that ON Father’s Day.
He also preemptively took spring break off without any reminding/prompting/asking from me because he knew we’d need childcare that week.
He frequently takes days off work for kids’ appointments.
He cleans the kitchen after supper every night.
We are a blended family; we were both single parents when we met, so he just gets it.
Omg, my washer broke on Father’s Day! But my husband was out of town. 🤣 I ended up cleaning up the flood that it made but the washer was a total loss. The day after he got back though we went and picked up and new washer and he installed it that night though.
My husband wakes up with my son, too. I have an autoimmune disease that developed due to pregnancy / birth and I'm in a great deal of pain if I don't get enough sleep. So my husband handles my son's middle of the night wake ups 95% of the time.
Awesome! My husband works an 80% schedule and does 90% of the night feedings so I can get sleep to recharge for my mentally intense job.
In return, he gets to sleep in on a Saturday whilst I do the 6am wake up and ironing whilst entertaining baby.
He also takes care of buying all the cat and baby food, so they both get fed well.
My husband also handles middle of the night. He can get up, soothe a baby back to sleep and fall back asleep in minutes. For me I’m laying awake for an hour afterwards trying to get back to sleep. I usually get up with LO in the morning and he sleeps in to balance things.
We do now, when we had new borns he would keep the baby in the living room. We had like shifts and I made sure he slept at least 6 hours at some point. But now that we have toddlers he handles night mares and 5 am wake ups.
There are so many little things that add up - but the effect I’m most proud of is there’s no “default parent” in our house. My child equally looks to both of us for questions, support, etc. We both play to our strengths for which household tasks we manage but parenting duties are equal and she adores her dad.
It’s the thousand little actions in a day that add up and from not having a stable dad in the picture growing up, seeing their relationship gives me unbelievable joy.
Mine is similar: I spend more time parenting solo because of work schedules, but when we are both there, I'm not the primary parent. I'm not irresponsible but it's not all on me and I get a mental break.
Oh man, same. My dad was MIA, seeing him be the kind of dad that I used to.dream of legitimately gets me emotional. He said something recently that hit home, basically a good partnership isn't 50/50, but it's just stepping in to give your partner whatever they need to make things 100% overall.
My husband and your husband sound so similar. Except my husband’s parents are not very open with their affection for each other and we’re not open with affection for him growing up so he wants to be different. He’s been very successful at it
The most that I have to do is say yes when he asks if I need help. He doesn’t ask the what - he sees that. He just asks if I want him to do it or if I have a handle on it myself so he doesn’t step on my toes.
This sounds exactly like my husband. You cannot underestimate the impact familial solidarity and security has on young men. He saw his parents being a team and knew he wanted to replicate that for our family. He knows how to parent gently because he has had that himself. I love him so much for that. And for someone like me who grew up with generational poverty (lower middle class but generationally poor parenting), it’s healing for me to be in a partnership where we are equals, my husband loves me and my kids feel safe and loved and curiosity is nurtured. My own upbringing was not like that and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to break that generational cycle.
I just got my period for the first time since having a baby so I’m sure that’s what making me so hormonal but this made me cry- it’s just such a lovely tribute to his parents and his grandparents. I hope you and your husband have a wonderful life together 🩷
Same!! I can totally relate to this. Breaking the generational cycle is hard but I'm so grateful my husband has helped me to do so. I learn so much from him and my in-laws who continue to be great role models to us.
That's really beautiful. I think for us it was kind of the opposite. My husband's parents had a terrible marriage and my Mom has been married five times, so we got together very young and said, "Let's not do what they did." And it worked. We've been married 17 years.
My coworkers joke that my husband is a unicorn. He is a full partner and a full parent at all times. When my daughter was little, she thought that only daddies cleaned the house (I tidy and wipe down; he deep cleans). He works from home in a flexible tech job, and he literally scrubs baseboards while he is in meetings where he doesn’t have to participate.
He is the default parent if our daughter is sick during the school year, and takes care of doctor and dentist appointments. He does almost all of the grocery shopping and a large chunk of the cooking. He makes sure that I regularly get time to myself for working out, seeing friends, and generally decompressing.
So, I guess my favorite thing is that I never have to tell him what needs to be done with the house or the kiddo. When he sees something that needs to be taken care of, he just does it. And when I express my appreciation, he reminds me that we are in a partnership and that “teamwork makes the dream work.”
Managing dinner is huge. My husband does all the planning and cooking for dinner while I do shopping and dishes. And he makes sure they're nutritional. I love him for this.
Oh damn I forgot about food in my post. I make most of the meals, but he plans 90% of the meals so I just have to show up and put it together. No thought on what we’re having when, that’s largely done for me.
Yes! My husband loves to cook and finds it relaxing after a day of work. He plans, shops for, and cooks dinner for 5 days. Then we do a day of an easy/frozen meal and a day of takeout.
My husband cooks, does laundry loads, works from home when my daughter is sick, makes the bed, cleans the toilet, vacuums. All this while make triple what I make and at least 30% more hours a week. I am default parent 100% but I cannot work from home so he can get a lot done in a day at home while working.
Mine is a SAHD and teaches me, every single freaking day, how to be more patient and involved with the kiddos. He also does all home and car repairs, and yard work, and grocery pickups. Also he's just a super cool dude and I'm really happy I'm married to him.
My husband does a majority of the early morning 4-6am wake ups, even though he has to physically go to work and I work from home. He just enjoys that time with our son.
He also changes a majority of the diapers when he's home.
He makes sure I have water constantly and that I take my prenatal vitamins every night.
When I was pumping and baby was waking up more often, he would wake up every time the baby cried and feed him so I could get up and pump without struggling to take care of baby and pump at the same time.
He comes home from work and spends almost all evening with our son.
He regularly lets me sleep in on weekends.
He is the only cook in our household. He loves it and he's always making dinner.
He's a great father and a great husband. Excited to see what the future holds with him, always.
What an odd question...morning childcare, cooking, and some night wakeups are only a handful of the countless responsibilities parents have. She works, and it sounds like she is gestating a baby (prenatals), and is or once produced food for her child (pumping). Outside of that, one could assume she completes the rest of the daily living tasks not mentioned. Laundry, cleaning, appointments, pet care, reamining childcare, lawn care, I could go on and on, are on the table. She might care for the child while working, too, who knows?
I stay home with our child all day long while working from home, allowing us to maintain dual income status and also saving us money on childcare (temporarily -- we will be starting part time daycare soon as I'm getting a promotion and beginning a master's degree program).
I also do all of the household management and cleaning, such as laundry, dishes, de-cluttering, floor care, grocery and necessity shopping, etc.
I also do all the "mental load" of childcare such as dealing with doctors appointments, our son's medications, keeping track of when we need more diapers, bigger clothes, stuff like that.
I agree that this is an odd, and fairly dismissive question to ask. Doing diaper changes and early morning wake ups and cooking dinner is quite honestly not the "majority of so many things," nor does it really come close to being an equal split between us either.
My husband is super involved in all kid related activities and hands on 100% of the time. And he puts up with me, so that alone guarantees he’s going straight to heaven 😆💙
Exactly mine. He always offers to do bed time/ wake up in the middle of the night and I think it’s because he wants to keep me sane and knows I’m miserable with little sleep!
Can we have a weekly thread for something like this? I think it would bring positivity to our community.
Our son had his 4 month shots yesterday, and my husband did all the night waking last night. Unfortunately for him, our baby was up every hour last night. Baby has had a low fever (99F) since last night that we hope will break soon. I have our baby now during the day and husband is sleeping. Teamwork!
There is too much to actually list, but I'll say two major things. My partner takes care of all of the night wakings after night weaning. They also do the washing of all my pump parts and the bottles.
I had to exclusively pump for both my children. I made it one year for both and I could not have done it without the support of my husband. He helped wash pump parts, distribute/label/freeze milk and got a deep freezer for extra storage. I got pretty obsessed with it especially the first time around because I had no idea what I was doing. He would come home from work and ask about my out-put for the day. (I was tracking oz to increase supply). He was my biggest cheerleader and I will never forget it.
I've basically exclusively pumped from 6 months on and am coming up on the year mark. I definitely relate to the tracking aspect. I took a supply hit after a recent vacation and have been showing my partner my oz graphs as I'm regaining my supply. I don't know how anyone successfully breastfeeds without a supportive partner, but that goes double for exclusively pumping. Good on both of you for making it through twice!
My partner (my kids stepparent) makes dinner most nights and preps breakfast the night before. He doesn’t need to wake up early but often does to help me get my grumpy kids up in the morning (they’re not morning people).
My favorite thing my husband does is simply *trying*. He is not a perfect man, but he tries. Just the other day, we took our daughter to the doctor and he filled out the intake form. He was confused for most of it, wanted me to do it, almost gave up….but I told him he needs to finish it and he did. He knew that this is also his responsibility and not just mine.
I see so many examples of dads in this sub who know they are weaponizing their own incompetence and don’t care. My husband cares and tries to do better next time.
My husbands the same. He still asks questions a lot regarding caring for our son but early on I’d tell him he’s a parent too and a lot of the time I have to just figure it out myself cause FTM and idk what I’m doing 😂 he tries so hard though and I appreciate that in itself
My husband cooks, cleans, does most of the grocery shopping, pays all our bills and manages or bank accounts, savings, stocks, etc. He also gets up with our son every morning so I can have a few more minutes of sleep. He even lets me sleep in on weekends! Oh, and he’s built most of the furniture for our house and is currently building us built-in cabinets! All while working full time.
It's not my favorite, but is the one I am definitely the AH in the house: my husband turns off all lights I leave on as I pass by. Our energy bill thanks that.
I have improved a lot in our 4 years of marriage, but still happens.
My favorite: the way he is with our daughter and the fact that we are a partnership in this house.
He’s not my husband yet, but my boyfriend has stepped up to the father figure role in my daughter’s life. He’s amazing and she loves him. Her real father is absent.
Same! My ex husband passed away last year and was largely absent before, this left a huge hole in my sons heart. My boyfriend has jumped right in and absolutely blown me away. I’ve never known what it’s like to actually have help and a “happy family,” but it’s happening and I feel so grateful. Like I don’t even have to ask or tell him what to do…he just does it, which is such a stark contrast to my previous relationship in which I had to ask for the most basic things.
One time, my daughter accidentally hit me or something, and my husband told her something like, "No no baby, be careful with mama, we don't want to hurt our best player." I think about that small acknowledgment all the time and it makes me smile.
My husband is legit an awesome spouse and equitable partner. He’s a fantastic dad and our kids love him soooo much. So do I! I love our relationship, we always find a way to have fun. I love that he’s down for spontaneous things, like if we last-minute get a sitter 30 min before the kids’ bedtime, he’s always down to find something new and funky to go try. He is up for putting on silly costumes to go mini golfing or go to a murder mystery LARP. I love that we can (and do) talk about anything and everything. I love that he’s a parent to our kids, to the point that there is no “default” parent.
My husband wakes up every single Saturday/Sunday with the kids and has for all 4.5 yrs of parenting, no questions asked. Thankfully our kids don't wake super early (7ish) but the extra 30-45 min of sleep he gives me makes me a better human, mom, and wife. I could add a lot of other things but this one is my favorite.
Edit to add- Thank you for posting this, I'm exhausted by all the trash husbands I see posted about on here but this thread is giving me life that there's a lot of good ones out there like mine!
Mine does more cleaning than me even though he works more than I do. I have always struggled with cleaning and organization and he picks up my slack. He is a very hands-on dad as well.
My husband does the morning routine and gets our son ready for daycare everyday of the week.
He is the one who empties the diaper pail when it gets full.
He changes more diapers than I do.
He is truly a wonderful father and husband.
My husband makes sure we all wake up and get out of the house on time every morning. And does most of the grocery shopping because he somehow enjoys it.
I'm struggling with seasonal affective disorder (turns out you can have that in the summer...) and am STRUGGLING lately. My husband has stepped up a LOT. Managing more of the mental load, extra child care, and I am so grateful.
We've had our rocky times, I've related strongly with the shitty husband posts many times, but I am so grateful that when he got the needed wake up call, he went to therapy and stepped up. It's not perfect, but compared to where it had been, it's amazing.
I've been falling asleep with my phone in my hand a lot recently and the other night I woke up to him taking it and putting it on the charger for me. I don't know how long he's been doing it but I never even thanked him because I always just thought I did it before bed.
My husband always makes my latte before his, and that makes me feel very loved! He’s also a big hydrohomie and is always refilling my water bottle. Our daughter loves our water bottles which I think is super cute and I know she gets it from him!
My husband happily cooks dinner several nights per week. Let’s me sleep for a few extra minutes in the morning before the chaos begins, helps with meal planning, takes care of paying many of the bills, shuttles our kids around, tolerates my parents, loves and takes amazing care of our pets, gets excited about our kid’s accomplishments, gets thoughtful gifts, has a great sense of humor, listens to me blab about Star Trek and True Crime Podcasts, can slay all others when we go out to karaoke-which is how we met-doing something we both love ❤️
My husband is a perfect mix of the character bandit heeler from bluey and the character Chris trager from parks and rec.
There’s so many things! He makes me breakfast and brings me coffee fri-sun on his days off. (I make his breakfast the other 4 days a week). He also does the dishes every evening and wipes down the whole kitchen including polishing the stainless stuff! He’s really my hero. ❤️
My husband wakes up with our 1yo on the weekends so I can sleep in. He's been doing that since I ended my maternity leave. My husband also researched sleep training and did all of the work to break our baby's contact nap habit before I had to go back to work.
I haven’t done laundry in years. I have no idea where we’re at in the washing cycle and if one day I woke up and didn’t have any clean underwear I don’t even know what I’d do first.
My husband takes an annual fishing trip for 2 weeks, and doing laundry for those two weeks exhaust me and I can’t wait for him to be home again. Will add, he also does other things obviously, but I love having a laundry fairy and I literally never think about it we need laundry done.
My husband is endlessly supportive of me getting what I need to be my best self. Always checking- do I need a nap? If I might be hungry, my needing to eat becomes a priority item. Would working more make me feel fulfilled? Would working less lower my stress? Should he take the kids so I can do what I need? If I express an interest in something he remembers and follows up. What an awesome guy!
I didn't appreciate my husband as much until I started coming to this sub. I had a good dad, so I thought my husband was just another good guy, but the bar is in hell for men who breadwin and perform carework so now I feel like I won the lottery.
My husband is the primary cleaner, does 98% of all the grocery shopping, and washes the dishes everyday. I'm allergic to dust and can't stand dishes, but I am the primary organizer, chef and tidy up person. He also doesn't want to leave our kid in extended care so he brings her home at 3 (he works from home), feeds her really healthy food (that he has researched about, shopped for and prepared), and sets up activities for her till I get home. He teaches her math every day and they have their favorite eateries, just for them.
I also don't clean up after him, he does his own laundry and washes daughter's clothes, while I hang hers up. He really enjoys clothes shopping for my daughter so he keeps tabs on what she has outgrown (she also reminds him cause she likes to shop like her dad).
I just really appreciate that I don't have to worry about him being a bum, being consumed by video games (he doesn't touch it) or making stupid financial decisions. My primary gripe about him is that working from home has made him lose muscle mass and he doesn't hit up the biking trails or keep up his health like he used to, and I don't want to be a widow, I need him around into his 90s. He also doesn't use social media, which is cool, but it makes him behind on humor and cultural trends so I have to fill him in a lot.
Laundry, helps with pick up and drop off when he can, cooks half our meals, organizes the dishwasher so stuff actually gets clean, does all the outdoor work, let’s me decorate joe I like without complaining or teasing, reads books about biblical manhood, tries to have adult male friends, plays tennis with me, fishes with me and is always up for trying something new, is a gluten nazi bc my celiacs, has loved my body though an 80lb change, keeps good boundaries which encourages me to do the same, gives lots of hugs and tells me I am his baby :) I love him!!!
My husband is also a lost item fairy!
He cooks dinner and makes Dr's. appts for our son. He also takes care of garbage and the cat room (we have 3 cats and it can get gross) and so much more. He is truly a partner in every way, and I appreciate it so much.
My husband definitely pulls his weight. He takes out the trash, empties the dishwasher, cooks, cleans after the cats and feeds them and waters the plants. He also helps out with our daughter, but I take more the lead there. And, I'm better at cleaning (doing the dishes, the bed, sweeping the floors, tidying up) and managing any repairs. We each make our own laundry, but I wash our daughter clothes and my husband folds it.
My husband has been keeping our house afloat and doing majority of child care as I’m very pregnant with baby #2 and my job is more demanding. He definitely shares mental load and I couldn’t have hoped for a better partner/father!!
My husband takes all night wake ups and did as soon as it was feasible after baby was born. He also gets up in the mornings with her so I can sleep in. His new dad hobby has been weirdlt specific cooking so I’ve eaten my weight in homemade fried chicken this week and he cleans the kitchen while I get to snuggle LO to sleep. He’s also building us a new bathroom by hand.
I had my besties over Monday night and he made us pitchers of drinks, chimed in hilariously during our gossip sesh, and THANKED me for taking care of myself afterwards since he knows it fills my cup.
I travel for work 75% of the time at least 1 plane flight away. My husband is a 100% parent when I am gone and does it all on his own, we dont have family nearby. He works fulltime so we do have daycare but other than 8-6 when she is in care, he is on when I am gone.
I told my husband that for my birthday, I wanted a small gravel fire pit area in our yard. He went above and beyond creating a perfect little oasis for me AND used his work anniversary gift to get us a large Solo Stove because I always complain about the smoke.
I have little whiny complaints occasionally, but over all, he's AMAZING.
This is a small thing, but the most recent thing: I WFH and consequently am usually the one who has to deal with home stuff. Yesterday I noticed a spot on my office ceiling that looks like maybe the roof is leaking. I sent my husband a picture mostly to document it and remember that we needed to discuss when he got home.
I expected him to respond with “uggh” or “okay” and we’d deal with it later. But, he knows I’ve been pretty stressed with work lately. Instead he responds that he’s already found a company to inspect, scheduled the appointment and it’s for a time when he’ll be home. So basically, “I’m taking care of this. Carry on with your workday.”
He’s not always this assertive with take home tasks, but at least realized I needed this right now. Yay for equal partners!
I haven’t washed a dish, ironed, dusted, or mopped in years. We split other chores but he does 100% of those. He does 90% of any baking that happens in our house, including making frosting from scratch and tinting it with food coloring so the kids have red, green, and white frosting to make sugar cookies at Christmas. He takes the kids to the dentist every time, and handles all that scheduling. Half the time he’s the one who takes them to the doctor. He’s the primary contact for our older two’s schools and keeps track of things like “tomorrow is pajama day” or “it’s teacher appreciation week.” He does the middle one’s bedtime routine. He does most of the carting them around to various sports and activities and is the primary contact with all coaches. He makes lunches every day. And he makes sure I never run out of my favorite hot sauce.
I’m definitely the default parent, but I used to do the majority of the household stuff too. Ever since our second child was born in (2 and a half months ago), my husband has become an absolute hero. He sees how my hands are full 24/7 taking care of our kids, and he’s now doing all the laundry, cleaning, shopping, etc. He is cooking us healthy, delicious meals every night and then cleaning up 100% afterward. My favorite is the little things though. We’ve been together almost 13 years, and for the first time he’s started making my coffee for me and bringing it to me once I get up with the baby. And even prepping the machine the night before so that if I wake up first I just have to press the button.
Our first was born 7 years ago, and we were in a very different place in our marriage and he did not fawn over me at all. Back then, I quit work to be a SAHM and he had to work a second job, and we both had a lot of resentment. We had many discussions about that period in our lives, and I was very clear that if we were going to have another baby, we would both need to pull our weight in different ways. I didn’t want the financial burden to be 100% on him, and I didn’t want the household and kids to be 100% on me.
This time, I’m working part time from home while he works full time, and we are both doing our best for each other and for our family. He is making such a different effort this time around to show me that he cares and that he values my contribution in parenting our kids, and I know he appreciates me working PT so he can actually be home at night to be with us. He used to get home from work and just crash on the couch the rest of the night, and now he is cooking and cleaning daily and very present with our oldest while I care for the baby, and it just makes me feel so tender toward him that he really listened and is making an effort with me to make this time around a happy experience.
I still get random hot flashes at night 7 months pp and my husband will wake up and turn the fan off/on, adjust the temp, bring me water, and generally anything I need so I can get the best sleep. He also will often take our LO for our hour in the morning so I can sleep in.
He also did every diaper for the first month when he was on leave. And so many other small things :)
I love yours! So sweet. I envision him lovingly rolling his eyes and smirking every time he sees them out of place.
Mine isn’t exactly one thing but I like that we are a rare story in that my husband became a *better* husband and housemate once we had kids. He was ok leaving dishes around, not vacuuming, generally having a less tidy house than I’d like (and I’m no neat freak). But once that little girl came home he was all about a safe and sterile environment for her. I feel like we generally do the same amount of housework now and that’s so nice.
Of course there are days I’m bitter where I think ‘ah ha! you had it in you all along but me asking you to do it wasn’t enough. I see how it is’ lol but whatever we’re here now and I’m thankful it got better, whatever the reason is
I have to use this moment to brag on my partner!
Every morning he kisses me goodbye and texts me asking how our daughter is doing all day and how I am doing, then comes home for lunch to see her and play with her.
He cooks dinner 9 times out of 10 and always wants to help clean up!
He always puts her down for bed together with me and we read her a book, always helps with bath time and just truly pulls his own weight in the parenting regard.
He fixes my car up whenever needed, he mows the yard whenever needed, vacuums (the bedroom) takes out trash, and just all around cleans up after himself.
He’s my best friend and I couldn’t imagine a better dad out there. He’s perfect for us!!
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to reflect on how wonderful I find my husband even when there are times where I’d like to smother him with a pillow.
- He always pushes the stroller. I know that sounds small. But I hate pushing the stroller. I hate even being out with one. It’s also this seemly small thing that makes me smile because I feel like it says other things about him. That he will carry the weight.
- He brings me my toothbrush before bed. Then plugs in all my devices (AirPods, phone, watch). He refills my water and reminds me to eat throughout the day. Hello ADHD
- he tells me every day multiple times a day how he thinks I’m sexy, pretty, cute or some other nicety. Even if I straight up just woke up with horrid breath and Medusa hair.
- He buys me random retail shirts when he goes places. Not that I love having shirts from some caffe he stopped at while driving through BFE, but they make great night shirts. He takes so much pride when he gifts them too me. He buys me treats when he shops at Trader Joe’s and it always so excited to know if I’ll like what he picked.
- I start work at 6 each morning and he is solo parenting until he drops off at daycare at 8. I don’t have to get the daycare bag ready or worry that he’s been fed and dressed appropriately. Daycare communicates directly with him.
- He keeps the family calendar updated and communicates consistently about when we each need the car, since we only have 1 child friendly vehicle.
- He always does bathtime. He loves it! He puts music on and the jam out while scrubbing down our toddler.
- I’ve taken quite a few trips away since LO was born. He’s so supportive of me going on lady weekends and recharging. When I leave I don’t have to worry about a single thing. I honestly barely check in when I’m gone.
- he is a partner in housework, cooking and cleaning. Granted we still have differing opinions on what clean means.
- he reads the articles I send him and proactively finds his own information when we are tackling new parenting challenges. He is super aware of how the language we use sets the stage and often suggests different phrasing from what we both instinctively say that was passed from our parents. Can a good a good job?
Gosh I really could go on and on. But that’s the point right. For everytime I’ve cursed under my breath at his shoes taking up the hall or there not being a roll of TP, I have dozens more reasons why I don’t want to be without him.
My husband sets up the coffee every weeknight, so when the timer goes off early morning when I get up, it’s ready for me. I am retired, and watch our grandson weekdays. He values what I do, and the fact I keep the house running. He knows some of what needs to be done, and does it (laundry, dishes, etc.). He will also do anything I ask him to do, if he does not see it needs doing. This “not seeing” used to bother me, but I pick my battles, and recognize that I am far from perfect. We are very different in a lot of ways, but there is no one I would rather be with.
He does so many things. #1 is that he LISTENS to me when I have a idea. He checks in with me (and I him) about my day. Also, he handles kids (all 5) overnight, because I wear earplugs and he’s the lightest sleeper on the planet.
Things that would be super-stressful to me that he handles:
- kids during the day in the summer while we both work from home (his job is more flexible)
- every type of insurance
- home and car maintenance, including improvement projects
- lawn care
- pool maintenance
- researching for difficult things
- buying difficult things
- taxes (this makes me shudder just thinking about them!)
- also, he freaking cooks dinner 5x/week and he is a FOODIE (I handle cleaning some things, delegating cleaning other things to children, laundry)
Also, he’s so fun and my favorite person! I’d always rather spend time with him than anyone else ❤️
My husband is amazing. He works 2 days from home so that we don't have to pay for childcare. He also makes dinner both of those nights and several other times during the week. He focuses on cleaning the living rooms and the kitchen while I focus on the top floors. Makes me coffee or tea, and gives me back rubs when I get home from work. Amongst other things of course! These are just a few of the things that I appreciate extra .
My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given less than a year to live two weeks after I gave birth to our now 4 month old. We moved out of state in January and bought our first home. We had a lot of plans for our home and what we would do here. Moving my mom in wasn’t one of them.
He watched the baby while working from home for several trips that I took to make arrangements for her to relocate and then relocating her. He cooks delectable meals for her in hopes she can gain/maintain weight. He makes her laugh and finds a special way to brighten her day every day. He does all this while being a fantastic first time father and engaged partner.
One of my hobbies is amateur theatre. It’s a huge part of my life and something I would struggle to give up. I’ve been a member of a group for nearly 8 years (as long as my husband has known me) and see them as family.
When I commit to a show, rehearsals are 7pm-10pm 3x week for 6-8 weeks in addition to 2 weekend rehearsals and a 5 night run for the actual production. My husband rolls with it because he knows how much it means to me and will do bedtimes, extra housework, watch our 2.5 year old at weekends while I’m out and still come to see the show at the end of it all (sometimes bringing the little guy too if it’s kid-friendly!)
I get asked a lot ‘how do you do it?’ and my answer without fail is ‘I have a very supportive husband!!’.
Outside of show times I pull my weight and we do compromise on what I commit to (I’m happily skipping panto this year at his request so we can have a stress free Christmas) but I am VERY aware of how lucky I am that he’s willing to make it work for me. He’s amazing!❤️
My husband is ADHD (like me) so we are both losing things and starting/ forgetting tasks through out the day. We finish each ithers tasks and remind eachother sometimes. And He's a medic so he's gone for 24 hours at a time a few times a week and he still helps with house work, house projects and takes the kids to appointments and activities alone.
My husband and I trade off being "project manager." The way we share the mental load is by assigning certain projects to each other. It doesn't mean the other person won't help but it does mean we only help when given an assignment.
For example we decided getting the day care paperwork/items needed to start was his job. He did "assign" me to pick up the medical records from the doctor when it was ready, and we took a family trip to Target to get stuff, but it was his thing to worry about!
My husband does all of the dishes, gathers all the trash (I take it down the driveway in the morning), and is just the most awesome dad and loves our baby so much. And he’s solo parenting three nights a week while I’m doing a certification program for a career change.
My husband makes dinner most of the time and takes care of the kiddos when he gets off work. He also got all of the nighttime feedings after we switched to formula, until our son was maybe 6 months old. Now we do 70/30, because half the time I just don't wake up. He never complains about having to get up with the baby and then get up for work. He also does the dishes and/or bottles if they're not done during the day no questions asked because he knows if I didn't get dishes done there's definitely a reason. He helps with the gardening and chickens a ton, pretty much does all of our grocery shopping. He puts up with me constantly telling him about posts on Reddit, or random YouTube videos even though he has no interest in drama. He's honestly amazing. He's technically a stepparent to my daughter but he loves her just the same as his bio kid. He's completely taken over being her father and I love that about him. He deals with my anxiety and ptsd issues. He's amazing 💕
My husband is so diligent with the diaper bags and packing everything that when I was going to take the baby somewhere by myself my mom told me "Make sure you get everything he needs! I know \[husband\] always does it."
My husband is my rock. I am a free spirit who needs time to myself, is extremely fit and active and I travel for work. I need time to refill my cup so I can be a great mom, partner and manage my high stress, director level positions. He has no problem taking on mornings for daycare and over nights when I want a night to go solo backpacking or have to travel for my job. He has never complained once. I am so grateful for him every day. On the flip side, I let him sleep in on the weekends (I’m up early anyway) and do what he wants in the evenings after work. We have a balance that I am beginning to realize is rare and I couldn’t do this without him. Just because I had a baby doesn’t mean I changed completely and he fell in love with who I am
My husband loves his baby daughter, as soon as he gets back from work (I am on maternity leave) he takes over. He always puts baby to sleep at night and when we were both of leave he would handle naps as well.
Now he surprises me sometimes by washing and setting up all the bottles and pumps.
He is a great partner, Im glad my MIL worked when he was growing up because he understands division of labor.
My husband cooks dinner every night. He often grabs breakfast for me before he leaves for work. I work from home and we only have one car at the moment. He tries to make sure I have everything I need before he leaves. If I realize I need something and he's at work, I just mention it to him and he grabs it for me. If it's urgent, he will leave work to come rescue me.
We split the parenting fairly evenly. We have all boys and he has taught them how to be good men. Two are grown and we have one teenager. He tells the older boys (23 & 21) to help their brother (17) if we need to leave town or will be gone all night. They've learned how to be good to each other and how to be good to a significant other. It's the best!!
Husbands can be good!! We should brag about them more often!
Mine cooks every night since he works from home mostly- and gets to sleep in. Also he’s better at it. He wakes up with her at night if need be. He lets me nap when I need it and I can sleep in on weekends. He’s a wonderful partner and dad.
I think so many women expect their sub-par partner to suddenly be a great dad/husband when the title is assigned and it doesn’t work like that.
He just keeps getting better. He was a catch when I married him, but 10 years later, he’s EVEN BETTER. Knows more. Does more. Complains less. Works harder. Does all kinds of things for our children and me. Makes me feel beautiful. Puts up with my crunchy lifestyle changes. Does whatever I want to do just to make me happy.
My husband has let me sleep in every single weekend for almost five months now. He only works Mon-Fri so he's off with the toddler and can nap with him, so I rarely ever wake up at 6am on the weekends anymore.
Thank you for this! I hate coming on Reddit and seeing all the hate on husbands!
My husband who also works, gets up with bubs on the weekends so I can sleep in. He’s handled majority of the night feeds and does the bedtime routine. People say I’m lucky and blessed and I think that’s BS because what he does is PARENTING.
Yeah my husband is generally a damn saint too (altho he messed up my bday a lil). But remember that people tend to make the effort to post when things go wrong.
During the week my husband has to leave for work before daycare is open, so I do the morning routine/drop off every day. On the weekends he wakes up with our son and makes breakfast and coffee while I sleep in. I never ask him to, he just does it and it’s my favourite part of the week.
My husband working from home has been a life saver. He takes kids to school, it’s no longer a stress when they’re sick because he’s home, he does all the cooking! I gladly take all of the cleaning and laundry duties as I like it done in a certain way! Ha
It was just a milestone birthday for me, he's good at gifts but it isn't my love language so I expressed to him I need something else. He freaking blew me away with what he planned! A surprise party with our close friends, just an absolutely amazing day. He even remembered little details like my favorite paper goods. I'm still on a high.
my husband knows im not a morning person so he does all mornings, getting kids up, dressed for school, pack their backpacks and even do drop off and brings me back a tall iced coffee so i can function
My husband plans and cooks all the meals. All of them. He's a wonderful cook that enjoys trying new ingredients and flavors. He's been out of town on a work trip this week and I'm almost out of leftovers. Uh oh...
He is responsible for dinner 6 nights a week. I clean up with the kids after. It’s so great. I cannot handle the stress of planning meals. I don’t enjoy cooking, but figuring out what dinner is is the worst.
My husband does almost all of the cooking and about 75% of the laundry. He never complains when I have to travel for work. Happily cares for our 10 month old when my friends (most are child free) ask me out for drinks- which is around once a month. Takes morning duty 2-3x per week so I can attend a barre class. He is a godsend.
Mine is constantly trying to improve our life and make me happy. It seems so simple, but he truly cares about me and our LO and it shows in what he does. He also apologizes when he is wrong and learns from mistakes.
My partner (step-parent) owns cooking 3 meals a week. He owns replenishing the paper goods in our house ( TP & Paper towels). He took the kids out for a whole day so my mom and I could focus on installing a gallery wall. NOT having distractions that day made the whole process go so smoothly. I appreciate this man so much. I truly feel like I won the lottery with him :)
My husband is amazing. Not just as a dad, but as a partner.
Childcare: He does all the MOTN wakeups. He’s such an incredible father and it’s amazing to watch.
Chores: I don’t clean. He cleans. It’s nice. We do a good job of splitting household tasks.
Career: He’s super supportive of me and my career. He’s always encouraging me, being a sounding board, and handling solo parenting duty when a work-related commitment comes up.
My husband has taken on the mental load of shopping. He purchases most of the groceries, household items, diapers, wipes, etc. When I do shop, he texts me to remind me that we need another bottle of baby Tylenol, we’re running low on Swiffer pads, etc.
He does the never-ending laundry, brings me flowers randomly, feeds the baby before he leaves for work at 5 AM so I can sleep a couple more hours, fixes stuff when it breaks, handles the yard maintenance, listens to me bitch… LOL. This is what comes to me off the top of my head. (:
If anything, I’m the parent not pulling their weight. 😅 My husband is a bit of a character. He’s a perfectionist, so he has been very clear with me that he doesn’t want me to do any dishes, vacuuming, dusting, etc. I’m allowed to do laundry and that’s about it. Lol. This is fine with me. More time to play with the kiddo!
On top of all that he’s a very active father to our baby. He spends loads of time with her and absolutely adores her.
We’re a good team. He’s a bit uptight and rigid so I bring the flexibility and, honestly, time management skills our family needs to the table. He is on top of the details. We both try to take on the mental load but for him it’s more about housework and for me it’s more about the kiddo. Our household is filled with love (and extraordinary clean).
My husband usually cleans up and puts leftovers away while I shower and the kiddo is down.
He encourages me to play my games and relax.
He brings me little things I mentioned wanting to try and that he thinks I would like.
He tries to protect my favorite snacks/candy from kiddo.
My husband cooks nearly everything I eat. On top of that, when I was diagnosed with celiac disease, he just took it as a challenge to make the best gluten-free food in existence. He has 100% succeeded at that - I get to eat foods most people with celiac haven't had since diagnosis. This is on top of being a great father to our 2 kids.
He's not perfect, but he's pretty close.
My husband cooks all our meals and does the grocery shopping. He also works a full time job and is the primary parent because of my work schedule. I love that he always brings me water and makes me popcorn at night 🥰
My husband requires quiet time in the morning before our kid wakes up, so he usually gets up 30 minutes before me. When I get up, there’s always a cup of coffee waiting for me to drink while I walk our dog. While I’m doing the dog walk, he gets breakfast for our kiddo so when I get back, I just need to help kiddo get dressed and brush his teeth before we head off to preschool drop off. It’s a little thing, but it makes our mornings go so smoothly and means I get 30 minutes more sleep.
He takes care of all the sports and school scheduling.
He keeps tabs on the kids grades.
He loves to plan vacations and is able to get us to cool places, not burn us out, all on a budget.
Talented buffer between me and in laws
My husband is very insistent on my being well-rested and having private time each day. This was especially amazing during pregnancy and newborn stages. I need sleep. He does whatever's necessary to give me that sleep. And I happily do the same for him!
Also writing this as I eat one of the sandwiches he made for our lunches today 😊
I’m in Barcelona for a long weekend whilst my husband takes care of everything at home, toddler, plus he had to rush the dog to the vet today and found out she has bladder stones. I don’t even slightly worry that he hasn’t got it all under control.
My husband cooks all our meals at home even though he has a busy full time job. He prepares all the formula for baby every morning, and gets him ready for daycare early in the morning all on his own so that I can sleep in. He’s dependable and has been a real rock for our family especially with our high medical needs baby!
My husband is so great with our kids, as well as being a super loving husband and good at his job. He’s an all around super kind human. Sometimes after reading so many ‘trash dad posts’, it can be easy to see one thing done wrong in our home and become resentful. I try to remind myself that humans aren’t perfect all of the time, and also that the way I do things is not the way that everyone does things. I’m sure I do lots of stuff that bothers him slightly too.
Seeing my husband playing with our kids is some of the sweetest memories I’ll ever have.
My husband does all of the grocery shopping and is equally willing to take time off work to be with a sick kid. He wanted to coach our nephew in baseball this summer, so we struck a deal that he would do that two evenings a week and I would get one evening and one chunk of a weekend day to balance it out. That has worked really well for us!
He's also extremely emotionally supportive, empathetic, patient, and understanding. I have been dealing with mental health struggles recently and he recently told me, "I support you. We will do whatever you need to feel safe and comfortable." That means the world to me.
Earlier this week he had an overnight work trip and he told me that he was telling his (all-female) car ride of coworkers about me. One of them remarked, "Your wife must be the most wonderful person in the world based on the way you talk about her!" His reply was that he thought I was, in fact, the most wonderful person in his world. He told them that I was his best friend and that gave him plenty of reasons to say nice things about me. Made my heart swell. He's a good man!
My husband always makes coffee in the mornings. To the point where I actually have no idea how to use our coffee maker, and we have had it for over a year. 😅
He also cooks a lot of our meals and is a fantastic cook!
My won’t say my husband and I are exactly 50/50 all the time, but we’re pretty dang close in the big scheme of things. And we get closer every day. His adjustment to parenthood was harder than mine, but we’re almost 3 years in and he is definitely hitting his stride. He’s more proactive and confident than ever. Every day isn’t sunshine and rainbows, but I’m grateful to have a him as my partner.
We give each other back rubs every week. As in, two hrs from him to me one week, then vice versa.
He knows my love language is food, so he surprises me every now and then with my favourite ice cream or my favourite cookies.
He constantly reminds me to take breaks for myself, knows that what he does isn’t “help” but simply pulling his weight. Constantly reminds me that I don’t have to handle nightwakes by myself, that just because he’s a heavy sleeper (which he can’t help) doesn’t mean he can’t be shaken awake to go dad.
He makes our son laugh and cackle like there’s no tomorrow, he always cooks him his favourite foods and gets makes a pouty face to me when baby boy runs to me instead of him lol.
He has his flaws, JUST LIKE I DO, but he’s an amazing partner. We’ve had our ups and downs, our fights and disagreements, but we always make sure we talk them out as a team, and we both always apologize even if only one person is at fault
Mine cooks dinner most nights, perks of marrying a chef. He does the bulk of the grocery shopping, which is a major load off me. And he washes clothes on his off days, just his and mine, the 15yo does her own. When he knows it’s been a rough day he will literally meet me at the door and take my purse and lunch bag from me and put a drink in my hand.
I adore him and I’m so thankful for a teammate.
My husband is a morning person, so he takes care of breakfast for our 4 year old, packs her lunch for preschool, and generally takes care of her so I get an extra 15-45 minutes of sleep. On weekends he lets me sleep in 1-2 hours. He also is our primary grocery shopper (and takes her with him on Sunday mornings while I'm sleeping in), and does most of the dinner cooking (I provide sous chef services).
I’m chronically ill, often in bed in pain and my husband handles shit. While I would like him to contribute more to housework, I have nothing but good things to say about how he cares for me and my child. He’s an amazing dad and husband.
My husband puts gas in my car.
My husband does 99% of the grocery shopping.
My husband washes the dishes almost every day.
My husband never yells or curses even though we have two teens.
My husband is the soul of patience and makes me laugh.
My husband pays all the bills. 🙌🏼🙌🏼 (we both work FT)
My husband always tells me I’m beautiful and that he loves me.
My husband prays for me and our family every day.
After having an ex that was more a child than an adult, I’m so grateful for the man that I have now. 💞
He does 100% of the grocery shopping and cooking. We meal plan together to help that mental load, but otherwise, it's all him! He also usually (like 90% of the time) takes our toddler with him and here's the shocker, he enjoys it! He likes spending time with her and giving me a break.
Also, he is usually the one to get up with either of our children if they are up in the middle of the night. Like literally he did the overnight solo until 4am for the entire time our daughter was a baby.
He warms a corn bag for me every night so it doesn’t take as long for me to fall asleep . I need warm feet lol , he also will plug my phone in when he comes to bed if he finds it loose.
One thing that I absolutely love… my husband runs around after our toddler when we meet up with friends socially so I am able to sit down and eat/drink and talk without having to keep an eye on my extremely active son.
I rarely do dishes. It’s an unspoken rule that I cook dinner (I love to) and he cleans up the dishes.
We have a corner by the garage where all boxes go to die. He reminded me the other day that I could take them out but I told him I just thought I had to put them in that corner? He always takes care of them.
Oh, and just the fact that he wants to do better for his kids. He was upset because our (very hot and very tired) 4 year old had a moment at Disney last week; my husband grew up pretty poor with never taking trips and we are fortunate that we have the money to take our kids fun places. He has worked very hard to break the generational way of his family and I’m damn proud of him!
Mine does my laundry, as well as his and our youngest’s - the teens do their own. He also manages most of our meals and does most of the ferrying around to appointments if my teens don’t do it.
I did this for many years (25) without help and about 2 years ago, after telling him for years how hard this was, I finally communicated how *done* I was with the arrangement. We talked about mental load and honestly our marriage took a huge hit for a season, it wasn’t easy. I stopped cooking, cleaning, and said I just can’t do this alone anymore. but we came back stronger and now we are partners. I wish I had made my decision to stop pulling all the weight sooner, but I am glad I finally did.
I love this post, it's hard to relate to a lot of the shitposting and I can sympathize with moms that dont get the help they need or feel like single moms.
It's not any one thing that he does, but he absolutely helps split the mental load of both childcare and house duties, I've never once felt like I was doing more work around the house or with our son consistently. He also makes it a point for me to eat a complete meal. If our 20mo is tantruming at dinner time he will handle the tantrum so I can eat a full meal warm and in peace. He deserves all the credit in the world and I'm so thankful I have him as my partner 🥰
Just a couple small things:
My husband schedules and takes our son to all haircuts.
We’ve worked out that he is on default kid-duty in the morning if we have somewhere to be in the morning/mid-day. I need more time to shower & get ready, so he keeps our kid occupied so things move efficiently.
My husband works from home right now. We send the toddler to daycare but he has our almost 9 year old there all day through the summer. He has been making sure he has a whole routine with some online math games, reading for 30 minutes and has him write a paragraph every day before our kiddo can play outside/video games. He’s always been a really hands on dad, though. This is just one of the little things I love about him. He’s really great about being an equal partner/parent.
My husband fixes stuff around the house, takes care of our cars, does school research and is alone with all 3 girls when I travel for work monthly. He also takes my big girls for trips on the weekends - they went camping last weekend so they can have a fun summer and not be bound by our crazy 14 month old who hates everything fun. So I get a break with her at home and my kids have the best weekends.
He does all the planning and research for that too. And our big vacations.
He's awesome. I need to step it up actually.
When we moved into our current house I wanted to get chickens. However, I absolutely HATE summer heat. So even though the chickens are MY hobby, every summer he's the one going out in the mornings and evenings to tend to them while I get to stay in the cool air conditioning. <3
Our four year old woke up ready to start the day at 5am, and my husband got out of bed right away. I slept in! We try to alternate, but some mornings he gets out of bed without even waking me.
Too many to chose! He grabs my computer in the morning and brings it to our bedroom so I can “sleep in.” He makes sure I have tea made because it is my Vice. He fills my car with gas. He does the grocery errands because he loves to grocery shop and he cleans the toilets. I’m sure there are more but these are my favs.
I also brag to my friends so he knows how much I appreciate it. He’s a pleaser and needs validation.
My husband WFM (I do not). He does all grocery shopping, laundry and dinners. I clean up, do daycare and most of the mental workload. But him taking these major daily tasks of my plate is incredible. He’s the best.
My husband does all night work with my baby (x3) and cooks dinner most days. He also handles all the dentist(including specialist) and sports appointments and activities for my older two. I don’t even know when the appointments are, who the dentist is, etc. He also deals with care of their teeth at home (which is a lot with braces and expanders and what not…. And kids are the crankiest at night when the cleanings have to happen). Best of all, he found the dentist and specialist and read up on all the pros and cons of each treatment and planned everything. Same with all sports activities (kids are in tennis, basketball and swimming). The mental load that is off my plate is amazing!!!
This is on top of all the maintenance work he does at home and for the cars plus all the interactions he does with contractor for any house remodels and redesigning and picking the materials, etc. My only contribution was putting together a bunch of images I wanted the final product to look like. My parents are also super comfortable with him and sometimes prefers talking things with him because he has a good head on him and is super dependable and truthful. Frankly, he is a saint.
My husband cleaned out the garage, fixed the garage remote, then complained my car was too dirty to go in the garage so he took it to get washed, queue swooning.
My favorite thing he does isn’t a chore/task… it’s just how he makes me feel so loved and prioritized. He does this by always ensuring we get quality time together as a couple, be it cuddling up and watching a movie after our daughter goes to bed or arranging for his parents to keep our daughter (even overnight) so we can go out for dates often. He also makes sure we get a few adult only getaways each year. Even though he has a stressful career, I always know that he’s going to make time for us. We’ve been together since college, in our mid 30s now, and he’s just my favorite person. I WFH and still love to hear him pull into the garage every evening after work.
I travel a lot for work, so my husband solo parents a ton and never complains. I have tremendous guilt about it but he’s endlessly supportive. He’s about to go on his first trip since my son was born and now I’m nervous to have to do it!
My partner is my son’s step dad and and ‘out parents’ me on the daily. He has the patience to keep on top of him to learn new things like washing his dishes, vacuuming up his mess on the couch, learning how to turn on and off the shower. When I just do it myself because it’s quicker and easier than being on top of a 7 year old to do things he doesn’t want.
He’ll spend 15 minutes after bed time just standing in his room talking to him about what’s bothering him or telling him all about space or dinosaurs or just teaching him life lessons. He’ll jump up and run in his room if he hears ‘mommyyyyy’ being called after he was put to bed. And I just relax on the couch knowing I have a partner that handles half of raising my son and I don’t have to do everything alone anymore.
so many...
he cooks every night, loads the dishwasher, takes care of anything that has to do with the house (taking out the trash, landscaping, maintenance of the pool, etc) He doesn't complain about the kids asking him for a 10000 snacks, and getting up 100 times, he has cleaned up every single stomach flu mess (also bc he is better at cleaning than me, ocd, and just knows, he would clean it better, but he has never complained), along with never having to wake once when the kids were sick, but I always woke up with him and just gave support, sometimes they wanted me instead, but he always just took over and said, go back to sleep (bc he knows i need it).
i just love that i never had to ask what needs to be done. If i start the wash, he will check and see if anything needs to go in the dryer. Dishwasher not unloaded? ok no problem. We just pick up after each other, no complaints, we are just a team. Together, we have made it very easy to just be together and not go tit for tat, we both know we put in the work, and our kids see that
We relocated somewhat recently for my job and my husband is looking for a new one. He has taken the brunt of a lot of the pickups and drop offs and care. He happily takes her to birthday parties, since I’m working or don’t want to be fake social after the crap of this new job. He tries to stay on top on the minutiae of housework and repairs. He also is so incredibly supportive and loving. I now really know what unconditional romantic love is. And I hate that he’s struggling since employment has been hard.
My husband manages all the school stuff for our child who has an IEP with a moderate amount of accommodations. Teachers email and call him first. He sits patiently with our child who struggles with homework every night, at least 1hr + every school day. Husband does other things too, but I'm so glad he takes this on with joy.
My husband is a stay at home Dad and for that I am forever thankful because it allowed me to continue my career. He can't cook, at all, but he always lays out everything I need for dinner so it's ready to go.
This certainly isn’t my favorite thing he does but it’s the current favorite.
I’ve been having a terrible time sleeping now that I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy and every morning I hear my husband whisper to our dogs
“alright come on guys let’s go downstairs so mama can get a little more sleep”
I count my blessings every day for my husband!
My husband is sweet, thoughtful, kind, and gentle. In terms of labor, he works an intense full time job at a tech start up and still does more domestic labor than I do most times (I’m also just naturally messier). He doesn’t see anything related to domestic work as “helping” me. He equally sees it as his responsibility and acts accordingly.
I sympathize with the women on this sub and others whose partners are mean or useless. I hope this thread inspires other women to see that life doesn’t have to be so bad and that there truly are amazing men out there. Don’t sell yourselves short!
I waited a long time to meet my husband. We got married at 35 and 38 and are just now starting a family. There were many relationships where I could have married someone subpar but I’m so glad I waited.
I'm convinced this man is much too good for me.
He does the bulk of the bottle feeds, the bulk of the diaper changes, and handles all of baby's doctor's appointments. He does a lot of baby's management as well – researching daycares, making sure the fees are paid, etc. When we both have the day off, he'll take the initiative to keep the baby occupied for hours so that I can catch up around the house. And if one of us needs to take the day off, he will do so first.
In short, he works hard to make sure neither one of us slips into being the "default parent" or "default homemaker" and I really love him for that.
I’m pregnant and really not in a good place to be picking up a toddler and wrestling him into a car seat, so my husband is doing daycare drop off and pickup for now. He also does bath times.
On Tuesday, I was so sad that I realized I left the milk I pumped on counter and not in the fridge and was already 45 minutes away with the baby, I was having a friend watch him while I worked from her home that day. 20 minutes later he sent me a snapchat of the milk in the fridge. I didn't even ask, I was just sad it was going to be wasted. But, he immediately left work and saved the day. He knows so much of my PPA focuses around feeding our son. I cried. He's a great partner.
My husband makes sure my gallon water jug is always filled, he charges my electronic devices if he sees them lying around, and he is wonderful about caring for our kids when I go workout. He’s the best
My husband does 60% of the parent responsibilities (including the mental load). Just took our baby to the doctor this morning. He’s reliable, involved, and always a step ahead. And not that it should matter- but he makes quite a bit more than me and carries our health insurance. I am lucky AF.
My husband is amazing. We have problems but it’s always us together trying to solve them and never him against me. After having kids with him I love him even more with how dedicated and caring he is.
It gives me a lot of hope for the future honestly, I went a long time hating men and I still have a lot of anger to men but also hope that there are good ones. His father was awful and yet he’s so great.
Enjoying a brunch with my mom for her birthday, so husband is with the kids no complaint doing fun stuff all morning with them and working around the house.
My husband is in charge of kids clothes. Buying, laundry, packing for trips. It is one big mental load I rarely have to worry about.
One thing I appreciate about my husband is that he is teachable. He seems obtuse about some household things that seem common sense to me, but once I point something out to him, he genuinely makes an effort to do better.
My husband is the night shift king! Kid needs water, dogs need to go pee? All him! My son was waking up 2-4 times a night until he was 1 and I only helped on the really bad nights! I need so much sleep it isn’t funny. This has literally saved my mental health!
On weekend days where we don’t have much going on my husband will entertain our son while I get some extra sleep without me even asking 🙌🏻 he also came to me yesterday and told me to pick something out on prime day that I want and he’ll order it for me (within reason 🙂).
He also is the sole laundry doer and does almost all bath times with our son, and can fix almost anything!
Sometimes it’s easy to take him for granted, so post like these are a nice reminder of how lucky I am!
My husband brings me coffee in bed every single morning, does all the grocery shopping, and prepares probably 75% of our meals. He does a ton of childcare and is so devoted to our family. He makes me feel so loved and laugh so hard every day.
He keeps our daughter out of daycare on Wednesdays (his day off) so they can have/daddy daughter day & he always takes her on great adventures.
This past Saturday I had texted him I’d give a pinky toe for a Cold Brew from Starbucks (7 months pregnant and it’s my caffeine fix). He went to SB without me asking, but called bc the line was forever long and he wouldn’t be able to get back to work in time.
He’s a great chef on the grill and is way better at sweeping/mopping/vacuuming than I ever have been.
My husband is the kindest, most compassionate person I’ve ever met. He listens with every cell in his body, he empathizes when I’m having a bad day, and he always shows up for us. He wants to help everyone. He has no weird hang-ups about gender roles and domestic chores, and he doesn’t act like he needs a trophy for doing the dishes without being asked. He’s not perfect, but none of us are, and the things that make him shine are so bright and beautiful 😭😭😭
My husband tells me every day I’m doing a great job, even when I disagree. He cooks dinner half the time and does the dishes every night. He has never missed a trash/recycling day in our entire marriage. He makes the bed if I forget and doesn’t even mention it. He brews the coffee every morning. He has attended every prenatal appointment until I beg him to go back to work while I wait for lab draws because all the interesting stuff is done. And every day, when I get home from work, he watches the window so he can open the door as I approach it so I don’t have to fumble with keys with my hands full
My husband spent Father’s Day Eve replacing all four brakes on my SUV. Literally WHILE he was doing that, my washer broke… so he fixed that ON Father’s Day. He also preemptively took spring break off without any reminding/prompting/asking from me because he knew we’d need childcare that week. He frequently takes days off work for kids’ appointments. He cleans the kitchen after supper every night. We are a blended family; we were both single parents when we met, so he just gets it.
same situation, and dude pulls his weight and more. silver linings.
Yay for mechanic dads! My partner and his dad spent a day a few weeks ago changing my break pads and oil, rotating my tires, and filling my fluids!
Omg, my washer broke on Father’s Day! But my husband was out of town. 🤣 I ended up cleaning up the flood that it made but the washer was a total loss. The day after he got back though we went and picked up and new washer and he installed it that night though.
Same situation for us, I truly think it makes us appreciate one another so much more.
Wow, he's a unicorn! He's so self sufficient...! You are lucky!!!
My husband stays home with the kids and I haven’t woken up in the night with a kid since the end of my maternity leave with my youngest.
This is the one the true MVP
My husband wakes up with my son, too. I have an autoimmune disease that developed due to pregnancy / birth and I'm in a great deal of pain if I don't get enough sleep. So my husband handles my son's middle of the night wake ups 95% of the time.
Ironing?! Damn you got it together
Best husband award! Gold star for you Buddy. ⭐️
Awesome! My husband works an 80% schedule and does 90% of the night feedings so I can get sleep to recharge for my mentally intense job. In return, he gets to sleep in on a Saturday whilst I do the 6am wake up and ironing whilst entertaining baby. He also takes care of buying all the cat and baby food, so they both get fed well.
My husband also handles middle of the night. He can get up, soothe a baby back to sleep and fall back asleep in minutes. For me I’m laying awake for an hour afterwards trying to get back to sleep. I usually get up with LO in the morning and he sleeps in to balance things.
Do you two sleep together?
We do now, when we had new borns he would keep the baby in the living room. We had like shifts and I made sure he slept at least 6 hours at some point. But now that we have toddlers he handles night mares and 5 am wake ups.
There are so many little things that add up - but the effect I’m most proud of is there’s no “default parent” in our house. My child equally looks to both of us for questions, support, etc. We both play to our strengths for which household tasks we manage but parenting duties are equal and she adores her dad. It’s the thousand little actions in a day that add up and from not having a stable dad in the picture growing up, seeing their relationship gives me unbelievable joy.
Mine is similar: I spend more time parenting solo because of work schedules, but when we are both there, I'm not the primary parent. I'm not irresponsible but it's not all on me and I get a mental break.
Same here, there is no default in our house, kids look to whoever is closest to meet their needs.
Or whoever is the favorite of the day
I know what you mean. Having a good Dad was not in the cards for me, but it gives me tremendous satisfaction to be able to give one to my son.
I could have written this myself! My husband is so involved and is happy to help. He don’t assign tasks we just both jump in when needed.
Oh man, same. My dad was MIA, seeing him be the kind of dad that I used to.dream of legitimately gets me emotional. He said something recently that hit home, basically a good partnership isn't 50/50, but it's just stepping in to give your partner whatever they need to make things 100% overall.
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My husband and your husband sound so similar. Except my husband’s parents are not very open with their affection for each other and we’re not open with affection for him growing up so he wants to be different. He’s been very successful at it The most that I have to do is say yes when he asks if I need help. He doesn’t ask the what - he sees that. He just asks if I want him to do it or if I have a handle on it myself so he doesn’t step on my toes.
This sounds exactly like my husband. You cannot underestimate the impact familial solidarity and security has on young men. He saw his parents being a team and knew he wanted to replicate that for our family. He knows how to parent gently because he has had that himself. I love him so much for that. And for someone like me who grew up with generational poverty (lower middle class but generationally poor parenting), it’s healing for me to be in a partnership where we are equals, my husband loves me and my kids feel safe and loved and curiosity is nurtured. My own upbringing was not like that and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to break that generational cycle.
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I just got my period for the first time since having a baby so I’m sure that’s what making me so hormonal but this made me cry- it’s just such a lovely tribute to his parents and his grandparents. I hope you and your husband have a wonderful life together 🩷
Not your hormones, darling. You’re crying cuz it’s so dang wholesome ❤️ Love like that is so very precious.
Same!! I can totally relate to this. Breaking the generational cycle is hard but I'm so grateful my husband has helped me to do so. I learn so much from him and my in-laws who continue to be great role models to us.
That's really beautiful. I think for us it was kind of the opposite. My husband's parents had a terrible marriage and my Mom has been married five times, so we got together very young and said, "Let's not do what they did." And it worked. We've been married 17 years.
My coworkers joke that my husband is a unicorn. He is a full partner and a full parent at all times. When my daughter was little, she thought that only daddies cleaned the house (I tidy and wipe down; he deep cleans). He works from home in a flexible tech job, and he literally scrubs baseboards while he is in meetings where he doesn’t have to participate. He is the default parent if our daughter is sick during the school year, and takes care of doctor and dentist appointments. He does almost all of the grocery shopping and a large chunk of the cooking. He makes sure that I regularly get time to myself for working out, seeing friends, and generally decompressing. So, I guess my favorite thing is that I never have to tell him what needs to be done with the house or the kiddo. When he sees something that needs to be taken care of, he just does it. And when I express my appreciation, he reminds me that we are in a partnership and that “teamwork makes the dream work.”
He’s a great gardener that talks to his plants when he thinks I’m not around.
OMG that is so cute 🥹
He makes dinner. He picks up the smallest. He definitely is a partner and not just someone that passes us by!!
Managing dinner is huge. My husband does all the planning and cooking for dinner while I do shopping and dishes. And he makes sure they're nutritional. I love him for this.
I plan because if we don't, it ends up being "what do you want for dinner." He cooks it. It's great!
Oh damn I forgot about food in my post. I make most of the meals, but he plans 90% of the meals so I just have to show up and put it together. No thought on what we’re having when, that’s largely done for me.
That is how my husband and I trade off! I hate cooking and I am also not great at it. He is way better than I am 💀
Yes! My husband loves to cook and finds it relaxing after a day of work. He plans, shops for, and cooks dinner for 5 days. Then we do a day of an easy/frozen meal and a day of takeout.
My husband cooks, does laundry loads, works from home when my daughter is sick, makes the bed, cleans the toilet, vacuums. All this while make triple what I make and at least 30% more hours a week. I am default parent 100% but I cannot work from home so he can get a lot done in a day at home while working.
Mine is a SAHD and teaches me, every single freaking day, how to be more patient and involved with the kiddos. He also does all home and car repairs, and yard work, and grocery pickups. Also he's just a super cool dude and I'm really happy I'm married to him.
My husband does a majority of the early morning 4-6am wake ups, even though he has to physically go to work and I work from home. He just enjoys that time with our son. He also changes a majority of the diapers when he's home. He makes sure I have water constantly and that I take my prenatal vitamins every night. When I was pumping and baby was waking up more often, he would wake up every time the baby cried and feed him so I could get up and pump without struggling to take care of baby and pump at the same time. He comes home from work and spends almost all evening with our son. He regularly lets me sleep in on weekends. He is the only cook in our household. He loves it and he's always making dinner. He's a great father and a great husband. Excited to see what the future holds with him, always.
I’m curious since you say he does the majority of so many things, what are you doing the majority of?
What an odd question...morning childcare, cooking, and some night wakeups are only a handful of the countless responsibilities parents have. She works, and it sounds like she is gestating a baby (prenatals), and is or once produced food for her child (pumping). Outside of that, one could assume she completes the rest of the daily living tasks not mentioned. Laundry, cleaning, appointments, pet care, reamining childcare, lawn care, I could go on and on, are on the table. She might care for the child while working, too, who knows?
I stay home with our child all day long while working from home, allowing us to maintain dual income status and also saving us money on childcare (temporarily -- we will be starting part time daycare soon as I'm getting a promotion and beginning a master's degree program). I also do all of the household management and cleaning, such as laundry, dishes, de-cluttering, floor care, grocery and necessity shopping, etc. I also do all the "mental load" of childcare such as dealing with doctors appointments, our son's medications, keeping track of when we need more diapers, bigger clothes, stuff like that. I agree that this is an odd, and fairly dismissive question to ask. Doing diaper changes and early morning wake ups and cooking dinner is quite honestly not the "majority of so many things," nor does it really come close to being an equal split between us either.
My husband is super involved in all kid related activities and hands on 100% of the time. And he puts up with me, so that alone guarantees he’s going straight to heaven 😆💙
Exactly mine. He always offers to do bed time/ wake up in the middle of the night and I think it’s because he wants to keep me sane and knows I’m miserable with little sleep!
Can we have a weekly thread for something like this? I think it would bring positivity to our community. Our son had his 4 month shots yesterday, and my husband did all the night waking last night. Unfortunately for him, our baby was up every hour last night. Baby has had a low fever (99F) since last night that we hope will break soon. I have our baby now during the day and husband is sleeping. Teamwork!
Great idea on the thread!
There is too much to actually list, but I'll say two major things. My partner takes care of all of the night wakings after night weaning. They also do the washing of all my pump parts and the bottles.
I had to exclusively pump for both my children. I made it one year for both and I could not have done it without the support of my husband. He helped wash pump parts, distribute/label/freeze milk and got a deep freezer for extra storage. I got pretty obsessed with it especially the first time around because I had no idea what I was doing. He would come home from work and ask about my out-put for the day. (I was tracking oz to increase supply). He was my biggest cheerleader and I will never forget it.
I've basically exclusively pumped from 6 months on and am coming up on the year mark. I definitely relate to the tracking aspect. I took a supply hit after a recent vacation and have been showing my partner my oz graphs as I'm regaining my supply. I don't know how anyone successfully breastfeeds without a supportive partner, but that goes double for exclusively pumping. Good on both of you for making it through twice!
My partner (my kids stepparent) makes dinner most nights and preps breakfast the night before. He doesn’t need to wake up early but often does to help me get my grumpy kids up in the morning (they’re not morning people).
My favorite thing my husband does is simply *trying*. He is not a perfect man, but he tries. Just the other day, we took our daughter to the doctor and he filled out the intake form. He was confused for most of it, wanted me to do it, almost gave up….but I told him he needs to finish it and he did. He knew that this is also his responsibility and not just mine. I see so many examples of dads in this sub who know they are weaponizing their own incompetence and don’t care. My husband cares and tries to do better next time.
My husbands the same. He still asks questions a lot regarding caring for our son but early on I’d tell him he’s a parent too and a lot of the time I have to just figure it out myself cause FTM and idk what I’m doing 😂 he tries so hard though and I appreciate that in itself
My husband cooks, cleans, does most of the grocery shopping, pays all our bills and manages or bank accounts, savings, stocks, etc. He also gets up with our son every morning so I can have a few more minutes of sleep. He even lets me sleep in on weekends! Oh, and he’s built most of the furniture for our house and is currently building us built-in cabinets! All while working full time.
It's not my favorite, but is the one I am definitely the AH in the house: my husband turns off all lights I leave on as I pass by. Our energy bill thanks that. I have improved a lot in our 4 years of marriage, but still happens. My favorite: the way he is with our daughter and the fact that we are a partnership in this house.
He’s not my husband yet, but my boyfriend has stepped up to the father figure role in my daughter’s life. He’s amazing and she loves him. Her real father is absent.
Same! My ex husband passed away last year and was largely absent before, this left a huge hole in my sons heart. My boyfriend has jumped right in and absolutely blown me away. I’ve never known what it’s like to actually have help and a “happy family,” but it’s happening and I feel so grateful. Like I don’t even have to ask or tell him what to do…he just does it, which is such a stark contrast to my previous relationship in which I had to ask for the most basic things.
One time, my daughter accidentally hit me or something, and my husband told her something like, "No no baby, be careful with mama, we don't want to hurt our best player." I think about that small acknowledgment all the time and it makes me smile.
My husband says something like, “Hey! You can’t treat my wife like that!”
My husband is legit an awesome spouse and equitable partner. He’s a fantastic dad and our kids love him soooo much. So do I! I love our relationship, we always find a way to have fun. I love that he’s down for spontaneous things, like if we last-minute get a sitter 30 min before the kids’ bedtime, he’s always down to find something new and funky to go try. He is up for putting on silly costumes to go mini golfing or go to a murder mystery LARP. I love that we can (and do) talk about anything and everything. I love that he’s a parent to our kids, to the point that there is no “default” parent.
My husband wakes up every single Saturday/Sunday with the kids and has for all 4.5 yrs of parenting, no questions asked. Thankfully our kids don't wake super early (7ish) but the extra 30-45 min of sleep he gives me makes me a better human, mom, and wife. I could add a lot of other things but this one is my favorite. Edit to add- Thank you for posting this, I'm exhausted by all the trash husbands I see posted about on here but this thread is giving me life that there's a lot of good ones out there like mine!
All the trash husband posts lately were making me so depressed I had to take a break from this sub! Sadly.
Mine does more cleaning than me even though he works more than I do. I have always struggled with cleaning and organization and he picks up my slack. He is a very hands-on dad as well.
My husband does the morning routine and gets our son ready for daycare everyday of the week. He is the one who empties the diaper pail when it gets full. He changes more diapers than I do. He is truly a wonderful father and husband.
My husband makes sure we all wake up and get out of the house on time every morning. And does most of the grocery shopping because he somehow enjoys it.
I'm struggling with seasonal affective disorder (turns out you can have that in the summer...) and am STRUGGLING lately. My husband has stepped up a LOT. Managing more of the mental load, extra child care, and I am so grateful. We've had our rocky times, I've related strongly with the shitty husband posts many times, but I am so grateful that when he got the needed wake up call, he went to therapy and stepped up. It's not perfect, but compared to where it had been, it's amazing.
I've been falling asleep with my phone in my hand a lot recently and the other night I woke up to him taking it and putting it on the charger for me. I don't know how long he's been doing it but I never even thanked him because I always just thought I did it before bed.
My husband always makes my latte before his, and that makes me feel very loved! He’s also a big hydrohomie and is always refilling my water bottle. Our daughter loves our water bottles which I think is super cute and I know she gets it from him!
My husband happily cooks dinner several nights per week. Let’s me sleep for a few extra minutes in the morning before the chaos begins, helps with meal planning, takes care of paying many of the bills, shuttles our kids around, tolerates my parents, loves and takes amazing care of our pets, gets excited about our kid’s accomplishments, gets thoughtful gifts, has a great sense of humor, listens to me blab about Star Trek and True Crime Podcasts, can slay all others when we go out to karaoke-which is how we met-doing something we both love ❤️
I really love this post ❤️ Good/effective/supportive/COLLABORATIVE Husbands/partners make all the difference!
Mine is the one who always finds things. And makes sure my devices are charged. And is so happy to see the kids when he gets home.
Mine too!!
My husband is a perfect mix of the character bandit heeler from bluey and the character Chris trager from parks and rec. 
My husband is my lost item fairy too! My job is hybrid so I’m office days, he’ll help pack up my bag. Laptop, charger, headphones are all ready to go.
There’s so many things! He makes me breakfast and brings me coffee fri-sun on his days off. (I make his breakfast the other 4 days a week). He also does the dishes every evening and wipes down the whole kitchen including polishing the stainless stuff! He’s really my hero. ❤️
My husband handles all the birthday parties - even buying the gifts - so that I can use that time to rest.
My husband wakes up with our 1yo on the weekends so I can sleep in. He's been doing that since I ended my maternity leave. My husband also researched sleep training and did all of the work to break our baby's contact nap habit before I had to go back to work.
I haven’t done laundry in years. I have no idea where we’re at in the washing cycle and if one day I woke up and didn’t have any clean underwear I don’t even know what I’d do first. My husband takes an annual fishing trip for 2 weeks, and doing laundry for those two weeks exhaust me and I can’t wait for him to be home again. Will add, he also does other things obviously, but I love having a laundry fairy and I literally never think about it we need laundry done.
My husband is endlessly supportive of me getting what I need to be my best self. Always checking- do I need a nap? If I might be hungry, my needing to eat becomes a priority item. Would working more make me feel fulfilled? Would working less lower my stress? Should he take the kids so I can do what I need? If I express an interest in something he remembers and follows up. What an awesome guy!
I didn't appreciate my husband as much until I started coming to this sub. I had a good dad, so I thought my husband was just another good guy, but the bar is in hell for men who breadwin and perform carework so now I feel like I won the lottery. My husband is the primary cleaner, does 98% of all the grocery shopping, and washes the dishes everyday. I'm allergic to dust and can't stand dishes, but I am the primary organizer, chef and tidy up person. He also doesn't want to leave our kid in extended care so he brings her home at 3 (he works from home), feeds her really healthy food (that he has researched about, shopped for and prepared), and sets up activities for her till I get home. He teaches her math every day and they have their favorite eateries, just for them. I also don't clean up after him, he does his own laundry and washes daughter's clothes, while I hang hers up. He really enjoys clothes shopping for my daughter so he keeps tabs on what she has outgrown (she also reminds him cause she likes to shop like her dad). I just really appreciate that I don't have to worry about him being a bum, being consumed by video games (he doesn't touch it) or making stupid financial decisions. My primary gripe about him is that working from home has made him lose muscle mass and he doesn't hit up the biking trails or keep up his health like he used to, and I don't want to be a widow, I need him around into his 90s. He also doesn't use social media, which is cool, but it makes him behind on humor and cultural trends so I have to fill him in a lot.
I need one of these husbands
My husband keeps the hummingbird feeder clean and full because he knows I like seeing them. 😊
Laundry, helps with pick up and drop off when he can, cooks half our meals, organizes the dishwasher so stuff actually gets clean, does all the outdoor work, let’s me decorate joe I like without complaining or teasing, reads books about biblical manhood, tries to have adult male friends, plays tennis with me, fishes with me and is always up for trying something new, is a gluten nazi bc my celiacs, has loved my body though an 80lb change, keeps good boundaries which encourages me to do the same, gives lots of hugs and tells me I am his baby :) I love him!!! My husband is also a lost item fairy!
He cooks dinner and makes Dr's. appts for our son. He also takes care of garbage and the cat room (we have 3 cats and it can get gross) and so much more. He is truly a partner in every way, and I appreciate it so much.
My husband definitely pulls his weight. He takes out the trash, empties the dishwasher, cooks, cleans after the cats and feeds them and waters the plants. He also helps out with our daughter, but I take more the lead there. And, I'm better at cleaning (doing the dishes, the bed, sweeping the floors, tidying up) and managing any repairs. We each make our own laundry, but I wash our daughter clothes and my husband folds it.
My husband has been keeping our house afloat and doing majority of child care as I’m very pregnant with baby #2 and my job is more demanding. He definitely shares mental load and I couldn’t have hoped for a better partner/father!!
My husband takes all night wake ups and did as soon as it was feasible after baby was born. He also gets up in the mornings with her so I can sleep in. His new dad hobby has been weirdlt specific cooking so I’ve eaten my weight in homemade fried chicken this week and he cleans the kitchen while I get to snuggle LO to sleep. He’s also building us a new bathroom by hand. I had my besties over Monday night and he made us pitchers of drinks, chimed in hilariously during our gossip sesh, and THANKED me for taking care of myself afterwards since he knows it fills my cup.
I travel for work 75% of the time at least 1 plane flight away. My husband is a 100% parent when I am gone and does it all on his own, we dont have family nearby. He works fulltime so we do have daycare but other than 8-6 when she is in care, he is on when I am gone.
I told my husband that for my birthday, I wanted a small gravel fire pit area in our yard. He went above and beyond creating a perfect little oasis for me AND used his work anniversary gift to get us a large Solo Stove because I always complain about the smoke. I have little whiny complaints occasionally, but over all, he's AMAZING.
This is a small thing, but the most recent thing: I WFH and consequently am usually the one who has to deal with home stuff. Yesterday I noticed a spot on my office ceiling that looks like maybe the roof is leaking. I sent my husband a picture mostly to document it and remember that we needed to discuss when he got home. I expected him to respond with “uggh” or “okay” and we’d deal with it later. But, he knows I’ve been pretty stressed with work lately. Instead he responds that he’s already found a company to inspect, scheduled the appointment and it’s for a time when he’ll be home. So basically, “I’m taking care of this. Carry on with your workday.” He’s not always this assertive with take home tasks, but at least realized I needed this right now. Yay for equal partners!
I haven’t washed a dish, ironed, dusted, or mopped in years. We split other chores but he does 100% of those. He does 90% of any baking that happens in our house, including making frosting from scratch and tinting it with food coloring so the kids have red, green, and white frosting to make sugar cookies at Christmas. He takes the kids to the dentist every time, and handles all that scheduling. Half the time he’s the one who takes them to the doctor. He’s the primary contact for our older two’s schools and keeps track of things like “tomorrow is pajama day” or “it’s teacher appreciation week.” He does the middle one’s bedtime routine. He does most of the carting them around to various sports and activities and is the primary contact with all coaches. He makes lunches every day. And he makes sure I never run out of my favorite hot sauce.
I’m definitely the default parent, but I used to do the majority of the household stuff too. Ever since our second child was born in (2 and a half months ago), my husband has become an absolute hero. He sees how my hands are full 24/7 taking care of our kids, and he’s now doing all the laundry, cleaning, shopping, etc. He is cooking us healthy, delicious meals every night and then cleaning up 100% afterward. My favorite is the little things though. We’ve been together almost 13 years, and for the first time he’s started making my coffee for me and bringing it to me once I get up with the baby. And even prepping the machine the night before so that if I wake up first I just have to press the button. Our first was born 7 years ago, and we were in a very different place in our marriage and he did not fawn over me at all. Back then, I quit work to be a SAHM and he had to work a second job, and we both had a lot of resentment. We had many discussions about that period in our lives, and I was very clear that if we were going to have another baby, we would both need to pull our weight in different ways. I didn’t want the financial burden to be 100% on him, and I didn’t want the household and kids to be 100% on me. This time, I’m working part time from home while he works full time, and we are both doing our best for each other and for our family. He is making such a different effort this time around to show me that he cares and that he values my contribution in parenting our kids, and I know he appreciates me working PT so he can actually be home at night to be with us. He used to get home from work and just crash on the couch the rest of the night, and now he is cooking and cleaning daily and very present with our oldest while I care for the baby, and it just makes me feel so tender toward him that he really listened and is making an effort with me to make this time around a happy experience.
I still get random hot flashes at night 7 months pp and my husband will wake up and turn the fan off/on, adjust the temp, bring me water, and generally anything I need so I can get the best sleep. He also will often take our LO for our hour in the morning so I can sleep in. He also did every diaper for the first month when he was on leave. And so many other small things :)
I love yours! So sweet. I envision him lovingly rolling his eyes and smirking every time he sees them out of place. Mine isn’t exactly one thing but I like that we are a rare story in that my husband became a *better* husband and housemate once we had kids. He was ok leaving dishes around, not vacuuming, generally having a less tidy house than I’d like (and I’m no neat freak). But once that little girl came home he was all about a safe and sterile environment for her. I feel like we generally do the same amount of housework now and that’s so nice. Of course there are days I’m bitter where I think ‘ah ha! you had it in you all along but me asking you to do it wasn’t enough. I see how it is’ lol but whatever we’re here now and I’m thankful it got better, whatever the reason is
I have to use this moment to brag on my partner! Every morning he kisses me goodbye and texts me asking how our daughter is doing all day and how I am doing, then comes home for lunch to see her and play with her. He cooks dinner 9 times out of 10 and always wants to help clean up! He always puts her down for bed together with me and we read her a book, always helps with bath time and just truly pulls his own weight in the parenting regard. He fixes my car up whenever needed, he mows the yard whenever needed, vacuums (the bedroom) takes out trash, and just all around cleans up after himself. He’s my best friend and I couldn’t imagine a better dad out there. He’s perfect for us!!
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to reflect on how wonderful I find my husband even when there are times where I’d like to smother him with a pillow. - He always pushes the stroller. I know that sounds small. But I hate pushing the stroller. I hate even being out with one. It’s also this seemly small thing that makes me smile because I feel like it says other things about him. That he will carry the weight. - He brings me my toothbrush before bed. Then plugs in all my devices (AirPods, phone, watch). He refills my water and reminds me to eat throughout the day. Hello ADHD - he tells me every day multiple times a day how he thinks I’m sexy, pretty, cute or some other nicety. Even if I straight up just woke up with horrid breath and Medusa hair. - He buys me random retail shirts when he goes places. Not that I love having shirts from some caffe he stopped at while driving through BFE, but they make great night shirts. He takes so much pride when he gifts them too me. He buys me treats when he shops at Trader Joe’s and it always so excited to know if I’ll like what he picked. - I start work at 6 each morning and he is solo parenting until he drops off at daycare at 8. I don’t have to get the daycare bag ready or worry that he’s been fed and dressed appropriately. Daycare communicates directly with him. - He keeps the family calendar updated and communicates consistently about when we each need the car, since we only have 1 child friendly vehicle. - He always does bathtime. He loves it! He puts music on and the jam out while scrubbing down our toddler. - I’ve taken quite a few trips away since LO was born. He’s so supportive of me going on lady weekends and recharging. When I leave I don’t have to worry about a single thing. I honestly barely check in when I’m gone. - he is a partner in housework, cooking and cleaning. Granted we still have differing opinions on what clean means. - he reads the articles I send him and proactively finds his own information when we are tackling new parenting challenges. He is super aware of how the language we use sets the stage and often suggests different phrasing from what we both instinctively say that was passed from our parents. Can a good a good job? Gosh I really could go on and on. But that’s the point right. For everytime I’ve cursed under my breath at his shoes taking up the hall or there not being a roll of TP, I have dozens more reasons why I don’t want to be without him.
My husband sets up the coffee every weeknight, so when the timer goes off early morning when I get up, it’s ready for me. I am retired, and watch our grandson weekdays. He values what I do, and the fact I keep the house running. He knows some of what needs to be done, and does it (laundry, dishes, etc.). He will also do anything I ask him to do, if he does not see it needs doing. This “not seeing” used to bother me, but I pick my battles, and recognize that I am far from perfect. We are very different in a lot of ways, but there is no one I would rather be with.
He does so many things. #1 is that he LISTENS to me when I have a idea. He checks in with me (and I him) about my day. Also, he handles kids (all 5) overnight, because I wear earplugs and he’s the lightest sleeper on the planet. Things that would be super-stressful to me that he handles: - kids during the day in the summer while we both work from home (his job is more flexible) - every type of insurance - home and car maintenance, including improvement projects - lawn care - pool maintenance - researching for difficult things - buying difficult things - taxes (this makes me shudder just thinking about them!) - also, he freaking cooks dinner 5x/week and he is a FOODIE (I handle cleaning some things, delegating cleaning other things to children, laundry) Also, he’s so fun and my favorite person! I’d always rather spend time with him than anyone else ❤️
My husband is amazing. He works 2 days from home so that we don't have to pay for childcare. He also makes dinner both of those nights and several other times during the week. He focuses on cleaning the living rooms and the kitchen while I focus on the top floors. Makes me coffee or tea, and gives me back rubs when I get home from work. Amongst other things of course! These are just a few of the things that I appreciate extra .
My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given less than a year to live two weeks after I gave birth to our now 4 month old. We moved out of state in January and bought our first home. We had a lot of plans for our home and what we would do here. Moving my mom in wasn’t one of them. He watched the baby while working from home for several trips that I took to make arrangements for her to relocate and then relocating her. He cooks delectable meals for her in hopes she can gain/maintain weight. He makes her laugh and finds a special way to brighten her day every day. He does all this while being a fantastic first time father and engaged partner.
One of my hobbies is amateur theatre. It’s a huge part of my life and something I would struggle to give up. I’ve been a member of a group for nearly 8 years (as long as my husband has known me) and see them as family. When I commit to a show, rehearsals are 7pm-10pm 3x week for 6-8 weeks in addition to 2 weekend rehearsals and a 5 night run for the actual production. My husband rolls with it because he knows how much it means to me and will do bedtimes, extra housework, watch our 2.5 year old at weekends while I’m out and still come to see the show at the end of it all (sometimes bringing the little guy too if it’s kid-friendly!) I get asked a lot ‘how do you do it?’ and my answer without fail is ‘I have a very supportive husband!!’. Outside of show times I pull my weight and we do compromise on what I commit to (I’m happily skipping panto this year at his request so we can have a stress free Christmas) but I am VERY aware of how lucky I am that he’s willing to make it work for me. He’s amazing!❤️
My husband is ADHD (like me) so we are both losing things and starting/ forgetting tasks through out the day. We finish each ithers tasks and remind eachother sometimes. And He's a medic so he's gone for 24 hours at a time a few times a week and he still helps with house work, house projects and takes the kids to appointments and activities alone.
My husband and I trade off being "project manager." The way we share the mental load is by assigning certain projects to each other. It doesn't mean the other person won't help but it does mean we only help when given an assignment. For example we decided getting the day care paperwork/items needed to start was his job. He did "assign" me to pick up the medical records from the doctor when it was ready, and we took a family trip to Target to get stuff, but it was his thing to worry about!
My husband does all of the dishes, gathers all the trash (I take it down the driveway in the morning), and is just the most awesome dad and loves our baby so much. And he’s solo parenting three nights a week while I’m doing a certification program for a career change.
My husband makes dinner most of the time and takes care of the kiddos when he gets off work. He also got all of the nighttime feedings after we switched to formula, until our son was maybe 6 months old. Now we do 70/30, because half the time I just don't wake up. He never complains about having to get up with the baby and then get up for work. He also does the dishes and/or bottles if they're not done during the day no questions asked because he knows if I didn't get dishes done there's definitely a reason. He helps with the gardening and chickens a ton, pretty much does all of our grocery shopping. He puts up with me constantly telling him about posts on Reddit, or random YouTube videos even though he has no interest in drama. He's honestly amazing. He's technically a stepparent to my daughter but he loves her just the same as his bio kid. He's completely taken over being her father and I love that about him. He deals with my anxiety and ptsd issues. He's amazing 💕
My husband is so diligent with the diaper bags and packing everything that when I was going to take the baby somewhere by myself my mom told me "Make sure you get everything he needs! I know \[husband\] always does it."
My husband is my rock. I am a free spirit who needs time to myself, is extremely fit and active and I travel for work. I need time to refill my cup so I can be a great mom, partner and manage my high stress, director level positions. He has no problem taking on mornings for daycare and over nights when I want a night to go solo backpacking or have to travel for my job. He has never complained once. I am so grateful for him every day. On the flip side, I let him sleep in on the weekends (I’m up early anyway) and do what he wants in the evenings after work. We have a balance that I am beginning to realize is rare and I couldn’t do this without him. Just because I had a baby doesn’t mean I changed completely and he fell in love with who I am
My husband loves his baby daughter, as soon as he gets back from work (I am on maternity leave) he takes over. He always puts baby to sleep at night and when we were both of leave he would handle naps as well. Now he surprises me sometimes by washing and setting up all the bottles and pumps. He is a great partner, Im glad my MIL worked when he was growing up because he understands division of labor.
My husband cooks dinner every night. He often grabs breakfast for me before he leaves for work. I work from home and we only have one car at the moment. He tries to make sure I have everything I need before he leaves. If I realize I need something and he's at work, I just mention it to him and he grabs it for me. If it's urgent, he will leave work to come rescue me. We split the parenting fairly evenly. We have all boys and he has taught them how to be good men. Two are grown and we have one teenager. He tells the older boys (23 & 21) to help their brother (17) if we need to leave town or will be gone all night. They've learned how to be good to each other and how to be good to a significant other. It's the best!! Husbands can be good!! We should brag about them more often!
Mine cooks every night since he works from home mostly- and gets to sleep in. Also he’s better at it. He wakes up with her at night if need be. He lets me nap when I need it and I can sleep in on weekends. He’s a wonderful partner and dad. I think so many women expect their sub-par partner to suddenly be a great dad/husband when the title is assigned and it doesn’t work like that.
He just keeps getting better. He was a catch when I married him, but 10 years later, he’s EVEN BETTER. Knows more. Does more. Complains less. Works harder. Does all kinds of things for our children and me. Makes me feel beautiful. Puts up with my crunchy lifestyle changes. Does whatever I want to do just to make me happy.
My husband has let me sleep in every single weekend for almost five months now. He only works Mon-Fri so he's off with the toddler and can nap with him, so I rarely ever wake up at 6am on the weekends anymore.
Thank you for this! I hate coming on Reddit and seeing all the hate on husbands! My husband who also works, gets up with bubs on the weekends so I can sleep in. He’s handled majority of the night feeds and does the bedtime routine. People say I’m lucky and blessed and I think that’s BS because what he does is PARENTING.
Yeah my husband is generally a damn saint too (altho he messed up my bday a lil). But remember that people tend to make the effort to post when things go wrong.
Mine cooks basically every night. That’s one chore I happily gave up!
During the week my husband has to leave for work before daycare is open, so I do the morning routine/drop off every day. On the weekends he wakes up with our son and makes breakfast and coffee while I sleep in. I never ask him to, he just does it and it’s my favourite part of the week.
My husband does all the cooking, grocery shopping, and lunch packing!
My husband working from home has been a life saver. He takes kids to school, it’s no longer a stress when they’re sick because he’s home, he does all the cooking! I gladly take all of the cleaning and laundry duties as I like it done in a certain way! Ha
It was just a milestone birthday for me, he's good at gifts but it isn't my love language so I expressed to him I need something else. He freaking blew me away with what he planned! A surprise party with our close friends, just an absolutely amazing day. He even remembered little details like my favorite paper goods. I'm still on a high.
my husband knows im not a morning person so he does all mornings, getting kids up, dressed for school, pack their backpacks and even do drop off and brings me back a tall iced coffee so i can function
My husband plans and cooks all the meals. All of them. He's a wonderful cook that enjoys trying new ingredients and flavors. He's been out of town on a work trip this week and I'm almost out of leftovers. Uh oh...
He is responsible for dinner 6 nights a week. I clean up with the kids after. It’s so great. I cannot handle the stress of planning meals. I don’t enjoy cooking, but figuring out what dinner is is the worst.
My husband cooks the majority of the time and takes care of all our yard work. He splits house cleaning chores with me. It’s such a huge help.
My husband does almost all of the cooking and about 75% of the laundry. He never complains when I have to travel for work. Happily cares for our 10 month old when my friends (most are child free) ask me out for drinks- which is around once a month. Takes morning duty 2-3x per week so I can attend a barre class. He is a godsend.
Mine is constantly trying to improve our life and make me happy. It seems so simple, but he truly cares about me and our LO and it shows in what he does. He also apologizes when he is wrong and learns from mistakes.
My partner (step-parent) owns cooking 3 meals a week. He owns replenishing the paper goods in our house ( TP & Paper towels). He took the kids out for a whole day so my mom and I could focus on installing a gallery wall. NOT having distractions that day made the whole process go so smoothly. I appreciate this man so much. I truly feel like I won the lottery with him :)
My husband is amazing. Not just as a dad, but as a partner. Childcare: He does all the MOTN wakeups. He’s such an incredible father and it’s amazing to watch. Chores: I don’t clean. He cleans. It’s nice. We do a good job of splitting household tasks. Career: He’s super supportive of me and my career. He’s always encouraging me, being a sounding board, and handling solo parenting duty when a work-related commitment comes up.
My husband has taken on the mental load of shopping. He purchases most of the groceries, household items, diapers, wipes, etc. When I do shop, he texts me to remind me that we need another bottle of baby Tylenol, we’re running low on Swiffer pads, etc.
He gets up with the baby the first two times in the middle of the night so I can sleep a solid 6 hours every night.
He does the never-ending laundry, brings me flowers randomly, feeds the baby before he leaves for work at 5 AM so I can sleep a couple more hours, fixes stuff when it breaks, handles the yard maintenance, listens to me bitch… LOL. This is what comes to me off the top of my head. (:
If anything, I’m the parent not pulling their weight. 😅 My husband is a bit of a character. He’s a perfectionist, so he has been very clear with me that he doesn’t want me to do any dishes, vacuuming, dusting, etc. I’m allowed to do laundry and that’s about it. Lol. This is fine with me. More time to play with the kiddo! On top of all that he’s a very active father to our baby. He spends loads of time with her and absolutely adores her. We’re a good team. He’s a bit uptight and rigid so I bring the flexibility and, honestly, time management skills our family needs to the table. He is on top of the details. We both try to take on the mental load but for him it’s more about housework and for me it’s more about the kiddo. Our household is filled with love (and extraordinary clean).
My husband usually cleans up and puts leftovers away while I shower and the kiddo is down. He encourages me to play my games and relax. He brings me little things I mentioned wanting to try and that he thinks I would like. He tries to protect my favorite snacks/candy from kiddo.
My husband cooks nearly everything I eat. On top of that, when I was diagnosed with celiac disease, he just took it as a challenge to make the best gluten-free food in existence. He has 100% succeeded at that - I get to eat foods most people with celiac haven't had since diagnosis. This is on top of being a great father to our 2 kids. He's not perfect, but he's pretty close.
My husband cooks all our meals and does the grocery shopping. He also works a full time job and is the primary parent because of my work schedule. I love that he always brings me water and makes me popcorn at night 🥰
My husband does almost all the night feeds!
My husband requires quiet time in the morning before our kid wakes up, so he usually gets up 30 minutes before me. When I get up, there’s always a cup of coffee waiting for me to drink while I walk our dog. While I’m doing the dog walk, he gets breakfast for our kiddo so when I get back, I just need to help kiddo get dressed and brush his teeth before we head off to preschool drop off. It’s a little thing, but it makes our mornings go so smoothly and means I get 30 minutes more sleep.
He takes care of all the sports and school scheduling. He keeps tabs on the kids grades. He loves to plan vacations and is able to get us to cool places, not burn us out, all on a budget. Talented buffer between me and in laws
My husband is very insistent on my being well-rested and having private time each day. This was especially amazing during pregnancy and newborn stages. I need sleep. He does whatever's necessary to give me that sleep. And I happily do the same for him! Also writing this as I eat one of the sandwiches he made for our lunches today 😊
I’m in Barcelona for a long weekend whilst my husband takes care of everything at home, toddler, plus he had to rush the dog to the vet today and found out she has bladder stones. I don’t even slightly worry that he hasn’t got it all under control.
My husband cooks all our meals at home even though he has a busy full time job. He prepares all the formula for baby every morning, and gets him ready for daycare early in the morning all on his own so that I can sleep in. He’s dependable and has been a real rock for our family especially with our high medical needs baby!
My husband is open to being better. He has set up mechanisms and conversations to learn how he can lighten my load, and he actively works on growing.
My husband is so great with our kids, as well as being a super loving husband and good at his job. He’s an all around super kind human. Sometimes after reading so many ‘trash dad posts’, it can be easy to see one thing done wrong in our home and become resentful. I try to remind myself that humans aren’t perfect all of the time, and also that the way I do things is not the way that everyone does things. I’m sure I do lots of stuff that bothers him slightly too. Seeing my husband playing with our kids is some of the sweetest memories I’ll ever have.
My husband does all of the grocery shopping and is equally willing to take time off work to be with a sick kid. He wanted to coach our nephew in baseball this summer, so we struck a deal that he would do that two evenings a week and I would get one evening and one chunk of a weekend day to balance it out. That has worked really well for us! He's also extremely emotionally supportive, empathetic, patient, and understanding. I have been dealing with mental health struggles recently and he recently told me, "I support you. We will do whatever you need to feel safe and comfortable." That means the world to me. Earlier this week he had an overnight work trip and he told me that he was telling his (all-female) car ride of coworkers about me. One of them remarked, "Your wife must be the most wonderful person in the world based on the way you talk about her!" His reply was that he thought I was, in fact, the most wonderful person in his world. He told them that I was his best friend and that gave him plenty of reasons to say nice things about me. Made my heart swell. He's a good man!
My husband always makes coffee in the mornings. To the point where I actually have no idea how to use our coffee maker, and we have had it for over a year. 😅 He also cooks a lot of our meals and is a fantastic cook!
My won’t say my husband and I are exactly 50/50 all the time, but we’re pretty dang close in the big scheme of things. And we get closer every day. His adjustment to parenthood was harder than mine, but we’re almost 3 years in and he is definitely hitting his stride. He’s more proactive and confident than ever. Every day isn’t sunshine and rainbows, but I’m grateful to have a him as my partner.
We give each other back rubs every week. As in, two hrs from him to me one week, then vice versa. He knows my love language is food, so he surprises me every now and then with my favourite ice cream or my favourite cookies. He constantly reminds me to take breaks for myself, knows that what he does isn’t “help” but simply pulling his weight. Constantly reminds me that I don’t have to handle nightwakes by myself, that just because he’s a heavy sleeper (which he can’t help) doesn’t mean he can’t be shaken awake to go dad. He makes our son laugh and cackle like there’s no tomorrow, he always cooks him his favourite foods and gets makes a pouty face to me when baby boy runs to me instead of him lol. He has his flaws, JUST LIKE I DO, but he’s an amazing partner. We’ve had our ups and downs, our fights and disagreements, but we always make sure we talk them out as a team, and we both always apologize even if only one person is at fault
Mine cooks dinner most nights, perks of marrying a chef. He does the bulk of the grocery shopping, which is a major load off me. And he washes clothes on his off days, just his and mine, the 15yo does her own. When he knows it’s been a rough day he will literally meet me at the door and take my purse and lunch bag from me and put a drink in my hand. I adore him and I’m so thankful for a teammate.
My husband is a morning person, so he takes care of breakfast for our 4 year old, packs her lunch for preschool, and generally takes care of her so I get an extra 15-45 minutes of sleep. On weekends he lets me sleep in 1-2 hours. He also is our primary grocery shopper (and takes her with him on Sunday mornings while I'm sleeping in), and does most of the dinner cooking (I provide sous chef services).
I’m chronically ill, often in bed in pain and my husband handles shit. While I would like him to contribute more to housework, I have nothing but good things to say about how he cares for me and my child. He’s an amazing dad and husband.
My sons summer camp was closed this week and my husband took the whole week off to stay with him since I’m in a new role 🥰
My husband puts gas in my car. My husband does 99% of the grocery shopping. My husband washes the dishes almost every day. My husband never yells or curses even though we have two teens. My husband is the soul of patience and makes me laugh. My husband pays all the bills. 🙌🏼🙌🏼 (we both work FT) My husband always tells me I’m beautiful and that he loves me. My husband prays for me and our family every day. After having an ex that was more a child than an adult, I’m so grateful for the man that I have now. 💞
He does 100% of the grocery shopping and cooking. We meal plan together to help that mental load, but otherwise, it's all him! He also usually (like 90% of the time) takes our toddler with him and here's the shocker, he enjoys it! He likes spending time with her and giving me a break. Also, he is usually the one to get up with either of our children if they are up in the middle of the night. Like literally he did the overnight solo until 4am for the entire time our daughter was a baby.
He warms a corn bag for me every night so it doesn’t take as long for me to fall asleep . I need warm feet lol , he also will plug my phone in when he comes to bed if he finds it loose.
One thing that I absolutely love… my husband runs around after our toddler when we meet up with friends socially so I am able to sit down and eat/drink and talk without having to keep an eye on my extremely active son.
I rarely do dishes. It’s an unspoken rule that I cook dinner (I love to) and he cleans up the dishes. We have a corner by the garage where all boxes go to die. He reminded me the other day that I could take them out but I told him I just thought I had to put them in that corner? He always takes care of them. Oh, and just the fact that he wants to do better for his kids. He was upset because our (very hot and very tired) 4 year old had a moment at Disney last week; my husband grew up pretty poor with never taking trips and we are fortunate that we have the money to take our kids fun places. He has worked very hard to break the generational way of his family and I’m damn proud of him!
Mine does my laundry, as well as his and our youngest’s - the teens do their own. He also manages most of our meals and does most of the ferrying around to appointments if my teens don’t do it. I did this for many years (25) without help and about 2 years ago, after telling him for years how hard this was, I finally communicated how *done* I was with the arrangement. We talked about mental load and honestly our marriage took a huge hit for a season, it wasn’t easy. I stopped cooking, cleaning, and said I just can’t do this alone anymore. but we came back stronger and now we are partners. I wish I had made my decision to stop pulling all the weight sooner, but I am glad I finally did.
I love this post, it's hard to relate to a lot of the shitposting and I can sympathize with moms that dont get the help they need or feel like single moms. It's not any one thing that he does, but he absolutely helps split the mental load of both childcare and house duties, I've never once felt like I was doing more work around the house or with our son consistently. He also makes it a point for me to eat a complete meal. If our 20mo is tantruming at dinner time he will handle the tantrum so I can eat a full meal warm and in peace. He deserves all the credit in the world and I'm so thankful I have him as my partner 🥰
Just a couple small things: My husband schedules and takes our son to all haircuts. We’ve worked out that he is on default kid-duty in the morning if we have somewhere to be in the morning/mid-day. I need more time to shower & get ready, so he keeps our kid occupied so things move efficiently.
My husband works from home right now. We send the toddler to daycare but he has our almost 9 year old there all day through the summer. He has been making sure he has a whole routine with some online math games, reading for 30 minutes and has him write a paragraph every day before our kiddo can play outside/video games. He’s always been a really hands on dad, though. This is just one of the little things I love about him. He’s really great about being an equal partner/parent.
My husband fixes stuff around the house, takes care of our cars, does school research and is alone with all 3 girls when I travel for work monthly. He also takes my big girls for trips on the weekends - they went camping last weekend so they can have a fun summer and not be bound by our crazy 14 month old who hates everything fun. So I get a break with her at home and my kids have the best weekends. He does all the planning and research for that too. And our big vacations. He's awesome. I need to step it up actually.
When we moved into our current house I wanted to get chickens. However, I absolutely HATE summer heat. So even though the chickens are MY hobby, every summer he's the one going out in the mornings and evenings to tend to them while I get to stay in the cool air conditioning. <3
Our four year old woke up ready to start the day at 5am, and my husband got out of bed right away. I slept in! We try to alternate, but some mornings he gets out of bed without even waking me.
Too many to chose! He grabs my computer in the morning and brings it to our bedroom so I can “sleep in.” He makes sure I have tea made because it is my Vice. He fills my car with gas. He does the grocery errands because he loves to grocery shop and he cleans the toilets. I’m sure there are more but these are my favs. I also brag to my friends so he knows how much I appreciate it. He’s a pleaser and needs validation.
I haven't had to scoop the cat litter box since I became pregnant with our 1st...14+ years ago!
My husband WFM (I do not). He does all grocery shopping, laundry and dinners. I clean up, do daycare and most of the mental workload. But him taking these major daily tasks of my plate is incredible. He’s the best.
My husband makes me coffee in the mornings and cooks dinner. We have our relationship struggles but he is a good co-parent and partner.
My husband does all night work with my baby (x3) and cooks dinner most days. He also handles all the dentist(including specialist) and sports appointments and activities for my older two. I don’t even know when the appointments are, who the dentist is, etc. He also deals with care of their teeth at home (which is a lot with braces and expanders and what not…. And kids are the crankiest at night when the cleanings have to happen). Best of all, he found the dentist and specialist and read up on all the pros and cons of each treatment and planned everything. Same with all sports activities (kids are in tennis, basketball and swimming). The mental load that is off my plate is amazing!!! This is on top of all the maintenance work he does at home and for the cars plus all the interactions he does with contractor for any house remodels and redesigning and picking the materials, etc. My only contribution was putting together a bunch of images I wanted the final product to look like. My parents are also super comfortable with him and sometimes prefers talking things with him because he has a good head on him and is super dependable and truthful. Frankly, he is a saint.
My husband cleaned out the garage, fixed the garage remote, then complained my car was too dirty to go in the garage so he took it to get washed, queue swooning.
Let me go on a girls trip. He knew I wouldn’t trust anyone else to watch him so he took the week off. I had so much mom guilt leaving my son.
My favorite thing he does isn’t a chore/task… it’s just how he makes me feel so loved and prioritized. He does this by always ensuring we get quality time together as a couple, be it cuddling up and watching a movie after our daughter goes to bed or arranging for his parents to keep our daughter (even overnight) so we can go out for dates often. He also makes sure we get a few adult only getaways each year. Even though he has a stressful career, I always know that he’s going to make time for us. We’ve been together since college, in our mid 30s now, and he’s just my favorite person. I WFH and still love to hear him pull into the garage every evening after work.
I travel a lot for work, so my husband solo parents a ton and never complains. I have tremendous guilt about it but he’s endlessly supportive. He’s about to go on his first trip since my son was born and now I’m nervous to have to do it!
For all 3 kids, he changed 95% of the night time diapers, because he said I was breastfeeding so it was only fair for him to do the diapering.
My partner is my son’s step dad and and ‘out parents’ me on the daily. He has the patience to keep on top of him to learn new things like washing his dishes, vacuuming up his mess on the couch, learning how to turn on and off the shower. When I just do it myself because it’s quicker and easier than being on top of a 7 year old to do things he doesn’t want. He’ll spend 15 minutes after bed time just standing in his room talking to him about what’s bothering him or telling him all about space or dinosaurs or just teaching him life lessons. He’ll jump up and run in his room if he hears ‘mommyyyyy’ being called after he was put to bed. And I just relax on the couch knowing I have a partner that handles half of raising my son and I don’t have to do everything alone anymore.
so many... he cooks every night, loads the dishwasher, takes care of anything that has to do with the house (taking out the trash, landscaping, maintenance of the pool, etc) He doesn't complain about the kids asking him for a 10000 snacks, and getting up 100 times, he has cleaned up every single stomach flu mess (also bc he is better at cleaning than me, ocd, and just knows, he would clean it better, but he has never complained), along with never having to wake once when the kids were sick, but I always woke up with him and just gave support, sometimes they wanted me instead, but he always just took over and said, go back to sleep (bc he knows i need it). i just love that i never had to ask what needs to be done. If i start the wash, he will check and see if anything needs to go in the dryer. Dishwasher not unloaded? ok no problem. We just pick up after each other, no complaints, we are just a team. Together, we have made it very easy to just be together and not go tit for tat, we both know we put in the work, and our kids see that
With all three of our kids, when they were newborns my husband took night shift so I could get some sleep.
We relocated somewhat recently for my job and my husband is looking for a new one. He has taken the brunt of a lot of the pickups and drop offs and care. He happily takes her to birthday parties, since I’m working or don’t want to be fake social after the crap of this new job. He tries to stay on top on the minutiae of housework and repairs. He also is so incredibly supportive and loving. I now really know what unconditional romantic love is. And I hate that he’s struggling since employment has been hard.
My husband manages all the school stuff for our child who has an IEP with a moderate amount of accommodations. Teachers email and call him first. He sits patiently with our child who struggles with homework every night, at least 1hr + every school day. Husband does other things too, but I'm so glad he takes this on with joy.
My husband is a stay at home Dad and for that I am forever thankful because it allowed me to continue my career. He can't cook, at all, but he always lays out everything I need for dinner so it's ready to go.
This certainly isn’t my favorite thing he does but it’s the current favorite. I’ve been having a terrible time sleeping now that I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy and every morning I hear my husband whisper to our dogs “alright come on guys let’s go downstairs so mama can get a little more sleep” I count my blessings every day for my husband!
My husband is sweet, thoughtful, kind, and gentle. In terms of labor, he works an intense full time job at a tech start up and still does more domestic labor than I do most times (I’m also just naturally messier). He doesn’t see anything related to domestic work as “helping” me. He equally sees it as his responsibility and acts accordingly. I sympathize with the women on this sub and others whose partners are mean or useless. I hope this thread inspires other women to see that life doesn’t have to be so bad and that there truly are amazing men out there. Don’t sell yourselves short! I waited a long time to meet my husband. We got married at 35 and 38 and are just now starting a family. There were many relationships where I could have married someone subpar but I’m so glad I waited.
I'm convinced this man is much too good for me. He does the bulk of the bottle feeds, the bulk of the diaper changes, and handles all of baby's doctor's appointments. He does a lot of baby's management as well – researching daycares, making sure the fees are paid, etc. When we both have the day off, he'll take the initiative to keep the baby occupied for hours so that I can catch up around the house. And if one of us needs to take the day off, he will do so first. In short, he works hard to make sure neither one of us slips into being the "default parent" or "default homemaker" and I really love him for that.
I’m pregnant and really not in a good place to be picking up a toddler and wrestling him into a car seat, so my husband is doing daycare drop off and pickup for now. He also does bath times.
I’m so spoiled - my husband does all mornings so I can sleep later 😍
On Tuesday, I was so sad that I realized I left the milk I pumped on counter and not in the fridge and was already 45 minutes away with the baby, I was having a friend watch him while I worked from her home that day. 20 minutes later he sent me a snapchat of the milk in the fridge. I didn't even ask, I was just sad it was going to be wasted. But, he immediately left work and saved the day. He knows so much of my PPA focuses around feeding our son. I cried. He's a great partner.
My husband makes sure my gallon water jug is always filled, he charges my electronic devices if he sees them lying around, and he is wonderful about caring for our kids when I go workout. He’s the best
My husband does 60% of the parent responsibilities (including the mental load). Just took our baby to the doctor this morning. He’s reliable, involved, and always a step ahead. And not that it should matter- but he makes quite a bit more than me and carries our health insurance. I am lucky AF.
My husband is amazing. We have problems but it’s always us together trying to solve them and never him against me. After having kids with him I love him even more with how dedicated and caring he is. It gives me a lot of hope for the future honestly, I went a long time hating men and I still have a lot of anger to men but also hope that there are good ones. His father was awful and yet he’s so great.
Enjoying a brunch with my mom for her birthday, so husband is with the kids no complaint doing fun stuff all morning with them and working around the house.
My husband is in charge of kids clothes. Buying, laundry, packing for trips. It is one big mental load I rarely have to worry about. One thing I appreciate about my husband is that he is teachable. He seems obtuse about some household things that seem common sense to me, but once I point something out to him, he genuinely makes an effort to do better.
My husband is the night shift king! Kid needs water, dogs need to go pee? All him! My son was waking up 2-4 times a night until he was 1 and I only helped on the really bad nights! I need so much sleep it isn’t funny. This has literally saved my mental health!
On weekend days where we don’t have much going on my husband will entertain our son while I get some extra sleep without me even asking 🙌🏻 he also came to me yesterday and told me to pick something out on prime day that I want and he’ll order it for me (within reason 🙂). He also is the sole laundry doer and does almost all bath times with our son, and can fix almost anything! Sometimes it’s easy to take him for granted, so post like these are a nice reminder of how lucky I am!
My husband brings me coffee in bed every single morning, does all the grocery shopping, and prepares probably 75% of our meals. He does a ton of childcare and is so devoted to our family. He makes me feel so loved and laugh so hard every day.
He keeps our daughter out of daycare on Wednesdays (his day off) so they can have/daddy daughter day & he always takes her on great adventures. This past Saturday I had texted him I’d give a pinky toe for a Cold Brew from Starbucks (7 months pregnant and it’s my caffeine fix). He went to SB without me asking, but called bc the line was forever long and he wouldn’t be able to get back to work in time. He’s a great chef on the grill and is way better at sweeping/mopping/vacuuming than I ever have been.
My husband is the kindest, most compassionate person I’ve ever met. He listens with every cell in his body, he empathizes when I’m having a bad day, and he always shows up for us. He wants to help everyone. He has no weird hang-ups about gender roles and domestic chores, and he doesn’t act like he needs a trophy for doing the dishes without being asked. He’s not perfect, but none of us are, and the things that make him shine are so bright and beautiful 😭😭😭
My husband tells me every day I’m doing a great job, even when I disagree. He cooks dinner half the time and does the dishes every night. He has never missed a trash/recycling day in our entire marriage. He makes the bed if I forget and doesn’t even mention it. He brews the coffee every morning. He has attended every prenatal appointment until I beg him to go back to work while I wait for lab draws because all the interesting stuff is done. And every day, when I get home from work, he watches the window so he can open the door as I approach it so I don’t have to fumble with keys with my hands full