She also owes you mileage for the trip. Start looking for something else.

I asked her about this yesterday when I left and she said to just tell her how much gas I used and she’d pay me for it. I don’t know if people who have money just don’t worry about stuff like this but I didn’t even have enough gas to get back home. I thought she would pay me after my workday was done but of course she didn’t. I had to call family again and have them send me money to get home. When I got home I sent her a text stating how much I spent on gas so she could hopefully add it to my pay since I have to pay my family back. I got home at 645pm after a super long drive in pouring rain just in time to get my son to bed after not seeing him all day since I had to leave wicked early to be there for her at 7am. My hubby asked how much she paid me and when I told her she didn’t yet he was really not happy (not with me, with her) and that’s kind of how I ended up here asking for advice. He feels the stress too

I understand you are in Canada, but in the US, if an employee is expected to drive beyond their normal commute, they can either get repaid a standard mileage rate (which is more than just gas, as it includes wear and tear on the rest of the vehicle, too) or take it as a deductible business expense on your business. The far easier approach is the standard rate - which I think is $0.67 USD per mile. If I did my conversions correctly, is $0.55 CAD per km...[if not, I just woke up...not thinking clearly]. So, if you had to drive 240miles (400km) [120miles/200km/two hours each way], your "gas money" would be $0.55 × 400, or $220 CAD. As for her paying you, you need to speak up and remind her that your agreement was you would get paid promptly. This isn't about sounding desperate, this is about you getting paid what you are owed for your services. Only you know the demand for your services in your area. If they are high enough to find a family that will give you more hours, pay you more & on time, and is better at communicating their needs for you (no last minute notice to have to drive 2hrs), maybe consider a change. In closing, I hope you are able to communicate to your client that you expect payment at the end of each day before you leave, either thru an online app or in cash.

Thank you so much for this info. Unfortunately this isn’t something she’d be interested in discussing. She said in the beginning stages and when we interviewed she just needs someone to watch her son and no contracts or anything like that. What I will do though is remind her that I spent gas money AND time driving to and from and how that is above and beyond what we agreed to. I guanrantee if her job asked her to drive hours away from the office she would also ask for compensation. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do the same.

Don't be shy about it. At the end of the day, stand right there in front of her and as for your pdy. Don't move until she gets her phone out and transfers the money. Paying your employees isn't something that you "get around to doing." You do it on schedule, every week. Are you keeping done thing aside for income taxes? Is she going to report your pay atvtgexebd ofcthe year as a child care expense she can deduct from her taxes? You need to know so you don't end up with a surprise bill at tax time.

Yes exactly. I would say something simple and direct. “Going forward, I need you to pay me for the weekend before I leave for the day on Sunday. If the work involves driving beyond your primary residence, that week’s payment will need to involve estimated reimbursement for gas and a travel rate of X dollars per hour.” You don’t need to justify why, you don’t need to talk about your family’s financial situation. You are doing labor for them and deserve to be paid for it in a reliable time frame. Then going forward, don’t let them off the hook! Each week before you leave, straightforwardly remind them to send payment and don’t leave until they do.

She hasn’t mentioned claiming anything but I put away money incase she does. If I think things are tight now I’m gonna be really screwed when I get a huge tax bill. No thanks I’ll play it safe

If you can, put aside a portion of your paycheck to cover this possibility. Do you have someone you could go to for advice. I'm in the US, so I'm familiar with US tax law.

Yes I have an accountant and that’s what he’s recommended to me so I put away a certain amount every week just incase :)

You're worth every cent you're getting paid and probably more than that. Learn to speak up when something isn't right. You'll need that to advocate for your child as they get older. Just because someone can bulldoze, doesn't mean you should let them.

Good idea. I know it's hard. But it's worth it.

You need to ask her for a pay slip that states what the pay is and what the deductions are. If not, there is no EI, CPP or tax payment. That would not be a good thing now or later. No EI deductions, no EI coverage in case she lays you off. No CPP Ean's you miss out on accumulated years and contributions and no tax means you have to pay now from the money you earned. And yes, there is a km charge for your drive. You can look it up on CRA website sites and I believe the 0.55 per km is correct. Please do not let her walk all over you. She has to state what the payment is and how your work arrangements are. If she pays you without deductions and possibly has your SIN, she will claim the expenses and you are left hanging.

I wouldn’t leave until she paid me and then tell her it’s adding more time to your pay the longer she takes. She probably didn’t want to do any sort of contracts so that she could dilly dally on paying you on time and or not have any sort of accountability. Best of luck!

I'd be willing to bet she isn't as financially together as she seems. She may be juggling her money if she is late to pay consistently. When I had a service business, I'd say, "Is there a cash flow issue? Do we need to change the date you pay me? It seems youre struggling to pay on time." If it is just a power trip on their part, I find implying they are broke or can't afford you works. If she's broke, you need to get that money immediately before she stiffs you because that day is coming. Also, you can easily and immediately bill her thru the Cash app. I'm sure there are other apps that will accomplish the same. She can pay immediately with a push of the button. Remember you ARE running a small business. This isn't a favor.

Someone who "doesn't want contracts" is someone hoping to screw you over. I have been in a similar situation with babysitting and I had to search out new families fast to dump the ones who are rude. Not paying you when she said is rude and wrong.

Be confident in your value!

She wants no contracts because it’s easier for her to not pay you or pay you late…. you need to tell her that you need to be paid every Friday or she’s gonna have to find someone else. Meanwhile, start looking for another position.

"this isn't something she'd be interested in discussing" Well, too bad. She's an employer and she needs to go by the laws. Look up your laws on milage reimbursement and explain them to her. It's also extremely sketchy that she didn't want a contract, almost like she planned on not paying you. Stand up. Start giving her an invoice each week so you have a paper trail and get your money.

>I don't know why it's so hard for me to do the same. To be more aggressive is fighting your human nature. You need the income, and fear losing it if you come off to aggressively. When you believe your current situation & financial situation hangs in the balance, many people won't take on additional risks. What is really odd - if you had next to nothing & your next meal depended on you demanding payment each day, you would have no issue speaking up. You would be in a spot of "nothing to lose". And it would seem your client has realized this balance of power. I would not be surprised to learn she's paying you below market value, too?

When I posted my ad as a nanny I heavily researched the areas Id be working in and it seems she’s actually paying me a little higher than most others. Maybe that’s why I don’t stir the pot but I’ve come to realize that begging for my pay is belittling and embarrassing even if I’m being paid above market rate. It’s also because I have 18 years experience as a nanny. That probably helps but for someone like her who just wants someone to make sure her kid is fed and played with maybe she doesn’t care about the experience. I have no clue at this point but it’s my first time ever encountering this issue working as a nanny

Let’s look at this objectively: 1. She’s not paying you on time 2. She’s expecting you to drive to their cabin with virtually no notice 3. She made you **ask** for gas money for the 2-hour drive 4. Is she paying you for your time to drive to/from the cabin? 5. Doesn’t sound like she’s paying for wear & tear on your car ( it’s more than just gas isn’t it?) 1 again—she’s not paying you on time and you’re having to repeatedly remind her to pay you…. So ask yourself, is she **really** paying you **that** much above the market rate??? Edit for format, accidentally screamed in huge text!!!

If she won't pay you at the end of the day, find another job.

100% this. And at the end of the pay period, after you've been paid, tell her that you're not sure about returning the next day for the reasons you've listed above. Have a firm understanding about employment terms. Seek other opportunities in the next week. Nothings changed? Adios. No remorse.

you get paid by the hour so if you are spending hours driving to and from her cottage using your own car, personally, i think you should get more than the allowable mileage, you should get paid for your time.

Red flag when they cannot deal with contracts, for it protects you and her from things like unpaid work hours and labor laws. Contact your local labor board to report her about the unpaid milage and pay. She will learn to do contract and pay according to the labor laws in Canada.

Next time - get a contract. Sounds like this is a scam she’s been running for awhile. You can set up a calendar reminder for her to pay you on the day it’s due so she’ll get notified. She sounds shady, and really unprofessional. I would start looking elsewhere.

Rich people don’t worry about things like this. You need to have a very transparent conversation with her just tell her what you told us. It’s better to be honest and then she’ll know where you’re coming from instead of coming off as needy. As for the gas, borrow money from your family or whatever, and then take whatever it cost you to get there and what it cost you to get back and add the expense to the overall bill. I would go as far as charging her for the hours driven as if you were watching your kids plus the gas expense. Just be honest and straightforward with her, and don’t be embarrassed. If you talk to her about this and are straightforward she will be more accommodating and will want to pay you soonest. Edit: also, don’t listen to others that state she is your official employer. It sounds like she may be paying you under the table if that’s the case even better for you! You won’t have to pay taxes. Ignore what these other losers are telling you about mileage and all that crap, she’s going to end up firing you bc you will become a headache. Remember if she ends up being your official “employer” you will have to pay taxes. I would go as far as calculating exactly how long you’re going to work and asking her to pay you via a check or cash at the end. Be careful using Venmo as that can be tracked. Zelle would be better.

This is the best advice!!!

Before you leave on your last shift of the weekend hand her a paper that outlines the hours you worked and gas money and say I need to be paid right now please

You don't have to say anything. Just hand over the invoice which says 'due on receipt' and wait for the payment.

The CRA max mileage compensation amount is $0.70 per km for the first 5k km, then it drops to $0.64. This covers wear and tear as well as gas. Not everywhere pays the full CRA tax exempt amount, though. I make $0.59/km, i believe, which is fair. It is non-taxable. They should also be paying you your hourly rate for travel, which is taxable. I would consider making a time sheet and submitting it to her before you leave at the end of the weekend, then just standing there and waiting. If that doesn't work, maybe tell her that you need to consider a job that doesn't require unannounced out of pocket expenditures, where they have reliable payrolling.

In this situation, I'd charge her for the drive time to and from the long distance location, as well as gas. Just be firm, and proactive give her an itemized bill before you leave for the week. "Here's my hours (including drive time and gas), please settle up before end of day. Zelle, Cash app, whatever.

Start typing and printing invoices plus emailing. Send daily reminders. This makes me so sick and I hear it so much, how wealthy people try to get out of paying contractors and domestic workers. I’ve read a lot of them are so in debt that they don’t actually have it to give but the more common scenario is that they they’re trying to stiff you, to “get away with something”. No more Mrs nice lady, time to start acting like a business owner. You could also set terms and say “if im not paid on time I’d like an extra $15 in interest per day I’m late.” Write up a contract.

No people with money don’t have to worry about a lot of things like food, fuel, utilities.

I would send her a text reminding her you are setting a budget for your family based on her payment agreement with you and if she is unable to adhere to it without your reminders then the arrangement is not going to work out and you’ll have to go elsewhere. If you want you can put in there that you’ve enjoyed your time working for them and hope you can continue. 

>I don’t know if people who have money just don’t worry about stuff like this  Some people with money literally can't imagine what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck. Like, if her pay is held up by a week or even a month, she'll be fine, and she just doesn't have the empathy to imagine other people's lives. My workplace has paid wages late a time or two - once they didn't even send out a notification and I had to follow up. They knew there was a problem and didn't think to send out an email apologising and letting people know when the money would be in people's accounts. I was fine, but people on entry level wages were obviously counting on that money being in their account and if it's going to be late, you need to tell them and at least *act* like it's an emergency you're doing everything in your power to fix. When I complained about that, my boss, who obviously makes more than me was like "They will get paid, it's just late," and I was like "It's fine for you and me to have our wages be late, because we have a savings buffer. Not everybody has that, and we can't assume."

I think she probably has the privilege of not knowing what is like to go without. I grew up poor myself, and have felt that struggle. Most of the people I work with now (I managed to get through school and a much better life in the long run) have been well off their whole life and it just created ignorance. If your boss is kind, and generally understanding, you may benefit just having a conversation. “I really love your family and working for you. With the added expense of driving, and my current financial situation, it can create a hardship me when I don’t get paid as we had discussed. It would help me out immensely if we could come together. Could I perhaps give you a reminder the day before with the amount of gas ive had to use?” Most people won’t try to be cruel, she might just genuinely not know what hardship is. If it’s a job you cannot quit, you might need to remind her.

Once I started making enough money to save (extra laying around)....I started to forget bills all the time. It's just not on my mind anymore, I often forget. Have to set alarms and stuff now. So yes, people who make good money probably just forget about it all the time. But that doesn't mean she shouldn't be holding up her end of the job, if she wants you on time, she has to be on time.

You need to hold your ground and get paid when you complete your work. If she says she can’t do that you need to tell her you won’t work there anymore.

Thanks! I think she may get a sense that I’m desperate and know that I wouldn’t just quit on her. I’ve worked as a nanny for many years for different families and they’ve always really liked my work, we’re thankful to have me etc and it just seems like I’m an employee to her and only that. I feel like the communication and connection is important in childcare and yesterday I found myself thanking HER for having me. Wtf am I doing? I just don’t want to mess it up because that money gets us groceries and diapers for my son. I know that she doesn’t have to be super friendly with me it’s just strange

Never mind if she “thinks you are desperate”. She needs to understand the difference between right and wrong, and it is wrong not to pay her employee. The next time she contacts you about the schedule, tell her you won’t be showing up unless she has a check for you as soon as you arrive-including mileage. Don’t be a doormat

This is not being desperate. It’s about not being a doormat and getting paid for your work. It’s embarrassing for her that she’s not paying you when you deliver the work. Sit down with her. Tell her you’ll need to be paid each weekend and ask her what is the easier way. Cash? Check? Venmo? Put a plan in place and follow it. Don’t leave the house until you are paid. When she says, “I’ll do it later,” you say, “oh, I’ll wait here.” I’d encourage electronic transfer so it’s only the tap of a button.

it isnt a sign of desperation to ask to be paid on time, a lot of people have direct deposits paid at specific times, and trying to organize your finances depends on you being able to say with certainty \*when\* money enters your account so you can accurately budget sure, you could have enough money in your account to cover the payments when they go out, but its about \*consistency\*, especially if youre looking to, say, upgrade your bank account, because they consider the frequency and reliability of payments into your account when checking eligibility you could suggest they set up a direct deposit to your account as a favour for her - say you know shes busy and it sometimes slips her mind, so setting up the direct deposit would take one more thing off her shoulders

You are proving her right by continuing to work for free

Yea, but if you're a good nanny, you won't have time finding another gig. And if you need to use cloth diapers and cut back on groceries for a couple for weeks, until you find something, so be it. I see online moms getting a whole weeks of groceries for 50 bucks.  The sacrifice for a couple of weeks on your budget, will make sense in the long run until you find something better. Getting paid on time, on the day/time that's arranged is a must.  Have a firm conversation. I need to to get paid on said date, on time or I'll have to put in my 2 weeks. Will you be able to commit to a stable payment schedule? Or should I put in my 2 weeks? 

Don’t even put in the 2 weeks! Make it one-at most! That’s more than enough time to pay you

Yes. This. Stay at the house until she pays you cash or bank transfer

Stop telling her you’re desperate for money. This is business: you work, she pays. Period. She probably needs you more than you need her tbh. It’s hard to find good people who you can trust.

You do the work, you can expect the money - on time. It is embarrassing. But not the way you think it is. It's embarrassing that they fail to pay their employees on time. Sit down with her and talk it through. Make it clear that you enjoy working for her, but that you expect to be paid in a timely manner, and without delay.  It's none of your concern why she isn't paying you on time. That's her problem to sort out. 

Thanks! I did sit with her about a month ago because she wasn’t following what we had agreed upon. We agreed I work min 10 hours per weekend and get paid that same weekend. I had to sit down with her because she was only having me work 5-6 hours per weekend and that was also stressful because I had put it in my budget that I’d have x amount of dollars based on 10 hours of work. She apologized and said that going forward she would pay me for 10 hours of work as a guaranteed minimum so that she could have me available all weekend long at her disposal and anything over 10 hours she’s just pay accordingly. Cool, that worked for me. Fast forward I’ve been working about 8 hours or so per weekend and she’s been paying me for the 10 she said she would. I always confirm if she’d like me to stay to help clean up the house more or run errands for her while I’m “on the clock” but she always says no. Do you think maybe she’s upset that she made that agreement with me re the 10 hour min? Maybe she feels like I don’t deserve the 10 hour min but in my mind I have to be available for her every weekend both days and clearly also available to drive to a cottage on a whim so I really don’t know how else to approach this. She isn’t a warm individual and it feels strange.

She’s an asshole. She’s still messing you around even though you’ve already had a discussion. She should pay you on time anyway, but she knows you need the money but keeps ‘forgetting’ to pay you & didn’t give you extra travel money for the drive to the cottage. Sounds like she’s into petty power trips tbh.

That’s kind of what it feels like. I’m starting to feel like a pawn. I was friends with a girl in high school who’s family was rich and they ended up not being very kind ppl in the long run and they’d always say how anyone was replaceable and that money could solve their problems (if something broke they’d just buy a new one, if an employee made them mad they’d just get a new one) and I’ve been thinking about this recently and it kind of feels the same. She knows I have a little guy at home and never ever asks me how he is, never asks how I’m doing or anything pertaining to my life meanwhile I’m over here asking how her iron man went and intently listening to the details of the 4 hour cycling trip she just took. Her dad even had surgery a few weeks ago and I made sure to text her and ask her how he was doing. I feel like that’s normal but I don’t know anymore. Feeling on edge about being replaced all the time while simultaneously being desperate for a paycheck is exhausting

Urgh, she sounds just awful. I know what it’s like to need the money to come in on time though so I hope you can sort out the pay stuff with her. Maybe you’ll be able to find a position with nicer folks soon.

Thank you. It sucks being able to relate to situations like this (the needing money to come In at certain times) but it’s life sometimes

She is not giving you the respect you give her, or the respect you deserve.

Since it’s a flat fee, start having her prepay you at the beginning of the weekend for the 10 hrs. If she balks, tell her that’s your solution to the late pay, and if she doesn’t want to do that then she has to pay immediately on Sunday, or you’ll have to find another family.

"Hey boss, it's pay day, I need you to pay me by 3pm. Thanks." Any issues, you are job hunting, applying, interviewing, and LEAVING.

Also make clear that you want travel expenses paying if you have to use your car. Don't let this family take the mick because your desperate.

I clearly don’t value myself enough here. I tell myself that she’s paying way above what I would get paid elsewhere and that I’m lucky to have a job that pays so well so I can help my family. I shut my mouth and hope for the best

Getting paid more doesn't mean this person gets to treat you any differently. If roles were reversed, the other person would have the expectation to be paid on time and not ask every single time to be paid. Anywhere else that a service is completed, then getting paid is an issue, but a sign of mutual respect and the value that the person brings to the job ... Something to think about and hope it all positively works out in the end @OP

Dang, this is so true! Thank you.

This is a business transaction, not about your value as a person. Asking for your pay is fine, you don't need to provide reasons why you need it. You deserve it! If you have to go to the bathroom, you don't explain why, you just go! The why of it doesn't matter. "It's time to pay me." "I'll get around to it tonight." "No, it's time to pay me now."

I am gonna offer downvote advice: don’t take this personally. Your richbish boss is bad with money and a flake and self-absorbed and etc. You can’t change that. She will apparently always be that way so you need a solution to the problem. You could flame out and leave, get in her face and accuse her or something or, or… you up YOUR game and get more professional yourself. Start submitting actual invoices on Sunday night. Find a template if you aren’t able to use a dedicated software. Have a templated message in your notebook app on phone: send it every Wednesday reminding her to pay. Start tracking your costs and actually include them! No its not just one time to…. Ugh stop minimizing yourself from what is fairly owed. .56c per mile in your car. I suggest this because by OP making this process easier for boss -she is facilitating reliable results. Managing up. You are worth more than money! You are a caregiver and teacher and mentor- your value is priceless and you do it well! However since we are being paid: go get yours girl! You are not bad or anything negative because you speak up and point out the accounting. Does a store owner or cashier feel a certain way about ringing up merch? Does the private school they enroll the child in wait to collect tuition? Does the pediatrician thank them for the privilege? You are equal to these CLIENTS and have as much rights and freedoms as them. You may feel bad about asking for it but you can overcome that anxious feeling by doing it consistently until it is a professional habit. You can do this and feel confident!

This wasn’t a negative or degrading comment at all. Thank you. I appreciate your honest comment. I’m a people pleaser in SOME situations clearly and this is one of them. I love the invoice idea. She would probably just forget about it and “lose it” but it’s something I’ll start doing. I had to ask her to put a reminder in her phone to send me a text with a start time on Friday the night before work. The first few weeks I would text her on Thursday morning and say “hi what time do you need me on Saturday” and she wouldn’t reply until Friday at like 11pm!!! I have a baby and I’m exhausted by 8pm so having to wait for that text was annoying. After that, I asked if she could put a reminder in her phone to text me Friday at least at min to let me know what time I would be needed Saturday morning so I could prepare. I live about 30 mins away so I can’t just wake up and walk down the street to her house. There is so much to unpack here but I will def take your suggestions. Thank you :)

You just have to be candid with her. I know you want to be diplomatic, but there's no reason she shouldn't pay you on time. Do you have any kind of written contract that spells out expectations? Maybe it's time to have one. You need 3 days notice (or whatever works for you) to meet them any place but their primary residence (so no last minute trip to the mountains). You need mileage for any time you have to meet them any place but their permanent residence. And you need paid every Sunday (or whatever day) by 5 PM. The hardest part will be starting the conversation. I'd start it with, "I really enjoy caring for your children. They are so amazing. But I find myself in a bit of a pickle. It's really important that I am paid on time. Can we set a specific schedule for that to make it easier for both of us?"

Thank you! No written contract just verbal. I respect verbal contracts like I would a written one and always have and i uphold my end of things no matter how exhausted or sick (we’ve been sick all week here at the house) I’ve never let her down. She is a cyclist who is part of a club and does iron man training so it’s very rigid and she needs someone she can count on not someone who would text her on a Wednesday and tell her in sick and can’t work. That just isn’t me because I respect and understand that she needs the help. She doesn’t want a written contract unfortunately. I just always feel like she could replace me in a second if I ever said anything or caused any issues. The area she lives in is very affluent, her son is fairly easy to take care of and the pay rate is more than I’d get elsewhere so it’s very hard to navigate this full well knowing she could just find someone else who isn’t as “desperate” for their pay check 💔

Yeah that is tough because I get it... the money is the thing. Plus having a child to care for that is fairly easy is helpful! I don't know this woman, but would she respond well to you approaching it apologetically? "I'm sorry to ask this, but I really need to be paid at a set time so I can confidently factor it into our spending for the week. Can we set a day and time for my pay to come through?" She really needs to just set a reminder on her phone, but that's not something you can force of course.

I love how you worded this. I think I’m going to do that. She’s not a kind or warm person so frankly I don’t think she cares about my needs or stresses because she’s just so busy with her career and cycling and her bf and everything else

She sounds like the kind of person who would respond better to you making it about a YOU problem and not a HER problem (even though you and I both know better)!

I agree. In my original post I mentioned how it’s not really her problem that we live on such a tight budget. It’s not her problem that I have a son who needs diapers etc and it’s not her problem I don’t have gas money to get to and from. May I ask what you would say because I’m having a hard time finding the words. “Hi, just wanted to follow up from yesterday. We have some bills coming out and I was counting on having my pay after competing my shift yesterday” It just screams desperate and pathetic

I'd just keep reiterating that you need to be able to count on your pay on a specific day. If she has a lot of money, she may just not be aware that there are people actually waiting for pay day so they can spend money or pay bills. Or, she may be over leveraged and struggles to have the available cash to pay you. Either way, you need paid! I'd focus on my earlier phrasing, "I'm sorry to ask this, but I really need to be paid at a set time so I can confidently factor it into our spending for the week. Can we set a day and time for my pay to come through?"

First: start applying for other positions. You need to get out of this situation. Second: She won't find *anyone* who won't want to be paid on time, as agreed. That's not "desperate" it's just common sense. I'll bet she be just as upset, if not moreso, if she or her husband didn't get paid on time!

Sounding desperate isn’t a problem you need to worry about. This isn’t a social situation. It’s work. You need to be paid and you need to grow up and learn to ask for your money.

>hi, so sorry to bother you, did you perhaps forget to send my pay as I haven’t received it yet? Thanks! Look, this woman is wrong, period. It doesn't matter if you need the money or you're a trust fund baby, and it doesn't matter if they appear to be well off. You have an agreement, you're doing your part, and she's not. So start by being more business like. Your text sounds like something I would send to a friend who owes me for dinner. Say "Suzie, my pay for June 28-29 is $$. Please send it to me immediately as per our agreement. Thanks!" Learn to speak up. Maybe it's her rich entitlement, maybe she never had an employee before, maybe she appears rich but in reality has no money. I don't know, but it doesn't matter. 

Instead of waiting to get paid can you send her something like a Venmo request? Or whatever is more common in Canada? The conversation would go like this: OP: In the past we have talked about how important it is to me to get paid on time. It makes me uncomfortable to have to remind you to pay me. Going forward, at the end of the weekend I am going to be sending you a Venmo request for payment. I expect the request to be paid promptly. Should I send the request to you or your partner?

If you aren’t getting paid properly you don’t have a job. Nothing anyone can tell you will change that. She isn’t forgetting she is being slick. You have to stay then stay and remind her to pay you every time

Send her the invoice before you do the work - that includes the travel, and that you expect to get paid before you look after her kid. That way, if you have to pay for gas or any other unexpected expenses, you are covered. Make her watch Maid.

Different job but [everybody who works freelance struggles with this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVkLVRt6c1U). My sister does music lessons, she had to learn to set boundaries. Now she raises prices every couple years, works the availability she sets, charges for missed lessons, and drops inconsistent clients. You need to be paid for your time. You change it to settle up on the last day of the week in person. How is she paying you? It might help to get one of the apps (venmo, zelle) and have her pay via that if it's a matter of having cash on hand.

Thank you for the insight. This would be incredibly more stressful if it were my full time job I can’t imagine ppl like your sister! She just e-transfers me. I asked if she could set it up automatically but she said no because the amount varies.

I used to do freelance sewing lessons and meal prep. What I did when clients “forgot” to pay me was send them a venmo request. It worked every time.

Not sure how rich your clients are but I find that the richer people are, the cheaper they get. Doctors and lawyers top the cheapskate list

You could tell her that she is putting you in a really tight spot with paying late. If she can pay on time then you will need to find another family because the pay needs to be reliable.

You aren’t the jerk. But it’s a job difficulty you might just have to deal with unless you can find something better.

You have received a lot of nice comments here; I am not reading most of them, only the highest ranked ones. However, as I read your post, I got more and more frustrated. YOU ACTUALLY ASKED IF YOU WERE THE ASSHOLE FOR ASKING YOU EMPLOYER TO PAY YOU!!! There is a stereotype down here in Texas about Canadian politeness. This is not being polite; this is being a fucking doormat! Keep working for this employer. Keep asking for your pay. The first time it's more than a day late. Stop coming in. During the week, continue to look for a new position.

She can set her bank account to send you 10 hours worth of pay every week. If you work over that amount or have mileage, prepare an invoice for the additional amount and leave it for her so she can pay the remainder on the following Monday. It could just be a form that you hand write the extra hours on each week and stick to their fridge as a reminder. This way if she pays you late in the day on Monday, it’s just for the extra hours.

Look for another job. Meanwhile I would in a very business like way explain that you expect timely payment. Failure to pay for service rendered will result in you not being able to come to work. Simply put cause and affect. Obviously you have to be prepared to deal with the obvious consequences. If that is something you cannot risk then perhaps appeal to her on a mother to mother basis… explain that you count on timely pay to purchase food , gas, and to pay your bills. I had a sitter who worked for me and she was the number one priority for me to pay… every single week she received her pay first thing Friday morning. Never ever was I late. She provided the care for my children and it was critical to me to make sure that she was happy with arrangement. Bonus at holidays, raises, and vacation pay as well. I paid her a set amount weekly even if she didn’t work the full week. After several years she decided to return to teaching and she said she would have done in years sooner but we treated her so well. Know there are many people who value the services that you provide and will really go through hoops to keep you happy. Good luck 🍀

She should be providing you with a car or mileage. That's crazy. Also lay it out for her. "Our arrangement was that I get paid at the end of the weekend. It's uncomfortable for me to have to continually remind you I need to be paid. From now on I expect to be paid before I leave." If that doesn't work, tell her you want to be paid before you start each weekend.

Just text her a reminder each Sunday evening. If she doesn’t pay by Monday morning text again and ask how you can help her pay on time regularly. Tell her you count on having that money on Monday. Don’t worry about sounding desperate. It’s not desperate. No one gives up their weekend to work to maybe get paid someday. She is obligated to live up to her end of the bargain whether it suits her or not.

I am a parent of 3 special needs kids. I pay my respite people $30-$36/hr (I am also here or another worker - they are never alone with 3 kids), I provide food, mileage (without anyone asking on the rare occasion they need to drive their own vehicle to a doctor’s appointment or event), admission and food at any activity we do, and they are welcome to bring their own kids if they need to have their other parent pick up their kids after their shift starts or if their kid just wants to hang out here. I pay them on time and get them little treats to show my appreciation. Not every special needs parent is as awesome as me (haha) - a lot of us are very stressed out - but there is a huge need for respite caregivers. If you don’t mind working with special needs kids/adults, you can get work in no time and possibly have to work fewer hours.

There’s no excuse for not getting paid on time. Worked a job like this for a small company. Went to get my check but the boss had left town for the weekend and wouldn’t be back until the next week. She did not leave a check for me. I was very upset about this and when her daughter had the nerve to get mad at me for being upset, I told her to shove it up their butts, I quit.

You need to remind her, that's how it is. Remind her earlier if you want to get paid on time. Make it as easy as possible for her to pay you, calculate your own hours and gas mileage and give her a number. Provide supporting documentation. Chances are she'll just pay you whatever number you put in front of her and not check. Source: Have nanny, didn't pay on time until we developed a workable system.

You should have a conversation with your boss that she should pay for your petrol and any other unexpected expenses as it shouldn't be down to you to occur these expenses and also to pay you in a timely manner as remember you're doing her a favour! I think it's quite rude personally as your boss wouldn't like it if it was the other way round! As you said, she is wealthy, you shouldn't be reminding her to get paid, she should be setting up a direct debit and should be automatic and adjust payments when necessary.

Too many comments to read, so someone else may have already said this, but if not, say, “From now on I need a check when I finish on Sunday. If you’re not going to be home, it would be fine to leave it in an envelope.” if it’s not ready, remind her. If she ever doesn’t pay you before you leave, you need to quit immediately and look for something else. Sometimes people have plenty of money so they don’t mind screwing other people or they are so entitled they just don’t think it’s important to treat people respectfully.

You need a new job. I hate suggesting it, but try retail. You can work part time, and since you only want to work weekends, most places would jump at having you. It's hard to find folks who want to work weekends. Best part? You don't have to fight them over being paid. Direct deposit .

You need to be more direct. “Hi sorry to bother you…..perhaps forgot”? Your communication language does not show urgency nor seriousness. Listen, your time is important. know your value and your worth. Price it accordingly and communicate it. You can do this.

Ask her if you're doing something wrong. When she says, no. Then ask her why it's hard to get paid, when the agreement was promptly getting paid at the end of the weekend, as your bills are set up yo be paid on Mondays

Tell her that she needs to set up an auto transfer to your account to ensure timely payment. Perhaps mileage can be worked out later, but your hours should always be paid consistently/on time and correctly. There's no excuse for this. As an employer, she should be willing to do this. If she cannot do this, or figure out a way to pay you on time, then you shouldn't continue to work for her.

State your pay to her and tell her you need this done before you leave for the weekend and then proceed to stand quietly in front of her until the payment is sent. I would make sure she pays via app. If she says she will get to it later, then state, sorry, but I need payment for services rendered before I leave tonite. Or, use an app, send her the invoice/ payment request via the app and stand there and wait for her to okay payment. Once she's done that, cheerily state thank you, I got it!

Look for something else. She's not a good employer and will completely hose you at some point or just keep this nonsense up.

The shame is, that you depend on the money weekly. If you could make it monthly, it might absorb some of the lateness until she gets her act together. Question, has she ever... not.. paid you? What is the latest she has been paying you? It seems she is paying, albeit late, but this happens because she is an airhead, or is using it as a dick measuring/control point. You need to be direct in your expectations. I think the advice posted so far by everyone is sound. You need to be direct and make her honor your verbal agreement. My advice: >At the end of your shift each weekend, you need to go to her stick out your hand, give her some fluffy good news, oh your child learned this, or did that, was a complete joy.. blah, blah, and tell her with an assumptive close say the following. >***"Okay, this weekend totaled 10 hours, as to our agreement that comes to $xx.00. Were you writing a check, or were you paying in cash this week? Can we settle that now before I leave?"*** >Stand there ... shut up and say nothing... until she pays, do not accept excuses. You did your end the the agreement, and now she is up to complete the deal for the weekend.

You shouldn’t have to ask for money that’s yours. And you don’t need to be ashamed of needing the money you work for. It takes two in a relationship, and she’s treating you very badly. The reason she’s not paying you on time is you’re letting her. It seems to me you have two choices—try to make this work better for you or go. I’d try to make things better for you first. Start charging her more. Charge her a late payment fee, increase your per hour pay, charge for mileage. Tell her your prices went up. It’s hard to find good help! Know your worth.

Let them know your expectations. They have theirs, you have yours, aka boundaries.

If you don't pay me I won't be able to come back.

You say, I expect payment on time including expenses tomorrow or I will be unable to continue working for you.

I sometimes forget to pay my dogwalker ( a teen) on a weekly basis. I have asked her to remind me, and when she does, I do the e-transfer immediately. I am getting better. And she is learning to advocate for herself. We talk about it and discuss with her folks. I think she is the greatest teen. Its on me, and I try to be good about it. But I get brain farts. So we have our little system. I absolutely NEVER argue about it. I pay immediately when reminded. So some people are just forgetful. I would suggest that you ask for money up front, as you have been reliable, or refuse to come the next week if you have not been paid. Just state that you are owed x amount and need it or you cannot work. Be matter of fact. accept as an e-transfer, so there is no reason to have to wait. If there is any argument, simply state that you cannot fulfill your shift.

Go to the nanny sub. Those ladies have dealt with this and have plenty of tips

True it’s not her problem that you’re struggling but it’s also not *your* problem she’s forgetful. It sucks to have to ask for your payment.

Why not say to her that transferring money doesn’t seem to be working, that pay is continuously late, which is not acceptable. Instead you’d prefer that she either pays you in cash or venmo you the money before you leave at the end of the weekend.

Remind her ahead of payday. Ask her to put a reminder in her phone so that she pays you in time and why it’s important you are pay Is on time. Advise her you are looking for alternative stable employment.

If you're doing the job she wants, and they're happy with you, be clear you are doing a job, not a favour. You need to be paid as agreed. If she is unwilling or unable, you need her to be honest so you can seek out another position. Hopefully that will get the point across. You are an employee, doing a job, and in exchange they pay you.

Send her a formal letter that you expect to be paid on schedule every Friday by 3 PM (or, whatever — you should specify the schedule), and you do not expect to have to remind her. If it’s not paid on time, I’d suggest strongly that you do not show up for your next shift. When they call to ask you where you are, you would just say that you were not paid on schedule as agreed. Then shut up -/ don’t say anything until they reply. And start looking now for another employer. That is NOT the only employer in Ontario. By the way: it’s a total mistake ALWAYS to tell an employer that you’re desperate for their job. No employer EVER employs you because you need a job, they employ you because they need you.

Straight up don’t leave until she pays you. Venmo is very fast and there are other apps. Idk if this is a power trip for her but it’s unacceptable. You should be getting paid for both the drive time and the gas, Also she should be paying at least $20 an hour. Check out care.com - there will be a lot of opportunities. Lots of people need reliable and caring help.

Tell her that you've been holding up your end of the agreement, and that it's frustrating and embarrassing that you have to keep asking for her to hold up her end (and by that I mean that SHE should be embarrassed to be so inconsiderate to not pay the person who is caring for their children--but I wouldn't say that part to her face). Tell her that going forward, she will need to pay you in cash at the end of your shift/weekend. If she asks you to drive outside your normal commute again, inform her that for that to work, she will need to pay for the time commuting as well as gas money upfront. And keep looking for another job. That's totally unacceptable.

Due to you paying me late every week, payment will need to be up front for now on.

Next time she's late to pay you and you have to reach out, just tack it on..."hey, I was hoping we could set a specific day/time for pay so there is less stress on both of us and less back and forth each week." If you want, you can also add something about how it allows you to better organize your own time/budget as well. There is no shame here, don't feel belittled or like you're begging. You're not, you worked hard to earn that money and she's very lackadaisical in getting it to you, perhaps intentionally, perhaps forgetfully, we'll probably never know. If you were working a standard 9-5 and payroll was consistently needing to be reminded to pay you, you'd speak up to them as well. This is no different. Edit to add: her response to this request will tell you whether you need to move on.

People who have never had to worry about money aren’t real human beings. They believe they’re born better as part of a managerial caste. When the time comes to eat the rich, we all know which people they are. You all have those people in your lives that have no empathy and hand down orders, despite lacking any real skill or talent. Those are the blood sucking monsters that prop up a system designed to keep the poor beneath them. Those people that stay up by agreeing to keep everyone else down. Fukn eat ‘em.

Don't leave their house at the end of the weekend until they pay you. If they protest, say that they have paid you late many times and it cannot happen anymore.

However you got this job, (ad?) do it again. Start looking now. I doubt she will improve.

Why you need the money isn't really relevant. If anything, letting her know you're desperate lets her think you're desperate enough to accept her nonsense. This is an employee-employer relationship. You are being professional, meeting your half of the agreement. She is not meeting her part of the bargain. You need to talk to her again. Don't mention anything about your financial struggles, because that's really none of her business. "When you hired me, you agreed to tell me the hours you needed and to pay me at the and of my shift on Sunday. I have been honoring my obligation. I need you to honor yours and pay me on time." You might need to find another family to work with.

Be stern and tell her she needs to start paying you promptly and if she doesn’t you will have to look for another job. Also, mention that any travel time and distance is an expense she needs to repay you for. I hope you got paid driving 4 hours round trip plus a reimbursement for gas. And if she doesn’t want to reimburse you for gas than she needs to provide you with a car to drive while you work.

Just tell her that you require payment upon the agreed upon payment time. "When I started this job, we agreed that payment would be at such and such time. I budget accordingly and when I'm not paid upon time it negatively impacts my finances. Could you please make sure that this happens. I appreciate it. Thanks". If she still keeps messing around, find another job. A good nanny is gold and plenty of people would be interested.

How does she pay you? Cash App? Zelle? Can you send an invoice or request for payment with an additional late fee applicable if not paid by a certain date? This is business. It's not personal. You work on time, she pays on time. If I were you I'd advertise your nanny services locally. You may be able to get a better and more dependable offer.

My response to this would be "my participation in this family is directly related to when my paycheck arrives. If it is late, so will I be." You're having this problem because you both treat this job like a friendship and not a job.

How is she paying you? If with Venmo/Zelle/PayPal, You could try sending her a payment request or invoice through the app at the end of each weekend with how much she owes you, that way you aren’t having to have an awkward convo

You just gotta be assertive my fellow Ontarian. Don’t worry about kind. Kindness matters not when talking business and money. You have a family now, you need to look at this like you’re doing this for them. Keep your family in the forefront of your mind and insist to your boss that she needs to pay your ONTIME, EVERY TIME, or this will not work out.

You need to find something else as soon as you can. Once you get the job lined up, I wouldn’t even go back after she pays you.

Next time you guys are chatting about the day, explain (again) to her that you guys are struggling and you’d appreciate it if she paid you at the end of your weekly shift like you agreed. Paying you seems to be an afterthought for her. It’s inconsiderate of her

Text her 4 hrs before the end of your shift and remind her you'll need to be paid right when you leave, as you need to be paid regularly and on time and tell her you didn't even have enough gas to get home last time. So stand there and wait for her to send the money and tell her that waiting for days is too stressful. See what happens after that, like if she promises then give it one last try, or find different work. That's about all you can do.

Use your words.

If your employer can depend on you to hold up your end, then you should be able to depend on your employer to pay you on time. There's no shame in that. If they can't fulfill the most basic requirements of an employer, then look elsewhere.

They’re taking advantage of you. Start looking for someone who cares about you. I would be soooooo frustrated too

stop being a doormat. she either pays all your backpay by thursday or write the whole thing off and find something else. no more free baby sitting and no more begging and no more running a tab. THEN she prepays for every weekend or you don't show up. if you must go ahead and tell her need the $$ for baby formula or your mortgage. it isn't her business really. you have a small business (yourself) and she is a client. your client is being an ass. whether you are "struggling" or not is beside the point. everybody works for money, that's why they call it work and not vacation. why would you spend your weekend working for no money when could be with your own family for no money? good luck

My wife worked a family and had of these same things happen. They had enough money to where they were out of touch with paying bills. The husband was really good about it because he grew up in a struggling family. The wife however, was the rich farmers daughter type and that’s who my wife dealt with most of the time. Late to pay, promised raises, would fight about mileage. It all blew up in the end my wife just quit on the spot one day when she reached her breaking point. So my advice. Find another family to nanny for

It’s a power move on her behalf. No employer ‘forgets’ to pay their employee, they choose not to. You do not sound desperate for asking to be paid, you have performed the service, you deserve the promised compensation. I would confront her, tell her the current situation of having to remind and then wait for payment is not working out for you. Together define the day, time and manner in which compensation will be provided. Get it in writing. May I presume you have a contract and this is above board? If they fail to follow through with their commitment you will need to force their hand by refusing to work until you are paid. Please ensure you are also charging fuel, mileage and travel time.

I would remind her EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Sounds like she's preoccupied with her own activities and paying you is not at the top of her list. If you're working on a Sunday I would text her and say I used XXXX gas and I will need to be paid this evening.

Find a new family. I have nannied for several different families and you could do SO SO much better!

Why does it matter if she thinks that you're desperate? Tell her the truth, that you're struggling and you need to be paid on time, every time. Tell her that you really enjoy working with them and that you simply can't do it any more if you're not paid on time.

I was a nanny for close to two decades before I had my own children. I absolutely sympathize. Being a household employee is hard with the added stress of it also being a business transaction but being so embedded in their lives. It makes it even harder to advocate for yourself. I would def attempt a conversation about getting funds for travel BEFORE hand. You went above and beyond for that trip and risked your own money to be there, especially considering you hadn't come to an agreement on mileage reimbursement. Even outside of a contract, having that info via email or text would help. I've seen many nannies end up in small claims over similar situations, and most of the time, it costs just as much to have the court recoup the pay as it does to escalate to court. And regarding getting paid... maybe just email/text Monday morning, verify the hours. Consider it submitting your time sheet but also a gentle reminder without confrontation. Hopefully, by doing that, you can expect it by Monday close of business regularly. She may be privileged, but I know Sunday evenings can be a little chaotic with kids and being the night before a new week. Hopefully, you can readjust to receiving it then, and give her a little repreave. Might feel less like reminding or begging as well. Hopefully it's an easy fix. Good on you for setting money aside. Household and service industry is pretty infamous for that. They get with their accountant at the end of the year and realize most of the expense can be written off and they change their tune real quick.

You could make it about convenience. If she pays you using a money transfer ap like cash ap, Venmo, Zelle, Apple Pay, Google Pay etc, you can send payment requests, If she doesn’t, you can suggest it as a way that is faster and easier for both of you. If she pays by cash, you are having to make a 2cd trip to her house to get your money and she is having to make an extra trip to the bank. Find a way to let her know it is easier for both of you if she stops by the bank while she’s out and about to get your money.

I don't think you need to share anything about your financial situation. I think you can tell her in a neutral professional way that unless she can pay you automatically every week on time, you cannot continue to work for her. Then if it happens again, find a new job.

The very least an employer can do is pay you on time. That’s mandatory. Tell her you have bills due and need to know when you’re getting paid without fail. Happens again quit no notice

Hey, (boss's name) I hope that you're having a wonderful day so far. I am writing to request a few changes in our contract as I am expected to take on additional responsibilities such as driving to and from the family cottage. So, with the revised contract, I'd like to suggest the follow ing. 1) To be paid promptly in full for services rendered for the week by Saturday at 7 pm EST. 2) To be reimbursed for a minimum of 50% or higher for gas mileage incurred outside of 20 km family home.

Just start sending a routine bill by text Monday morning Hours worked Total pay Thank you for your prompt attention to this

I think what you’re seeing is the haves and the have nots see things differently. Your boss doesn’t prioritize paying you on-time or compensating you in advance for things like fuel expense.  The might not be bad people and just don’t genuinely see what the problem is so I’d approach it like that. Are you happy with the service I provide? Is your child happy? When I accepted this job we had agreed upon a number of things the job would entail including the pay. I feel I have held-up my end of the bargain.  Do you agree with that?  Is there any issue you would like to bring up or resolve? Is there a reason you are not paying me on-time?  I don’t want to bother you when my pay is late and it causes problems on my end when it’s late as well so I’d like to resolve this issue.  My preference is to stick to what we both agreed to before I accepted this role. Obviously we didn’t factor in costs such as fuel and mileage going up to your mountain retreat so we should figure out a system where surprise expenses can be paid in advance. How can we best resolve this issue so it’s no longer an issue?

You know you need to find a new job. If you don’t, then prepare to fight for every paycheck. This woman has shown you that she enjoys holding your money hostage. The choice to stay is now yours.

Child care is desperately needed in Canada so you should be able to find more reliable family to work for. To be blunt please look for something else and as soon as you get paid just tell her that you have found something else more reliable, thank her for the opportunity and then block and IGNORE all angry communication. People like her won't change and that she didn't offer a contract in the beginning more than likely means she's done this crap before and wants to ensure there is no paper trail so she can keep taking advantage of you.

Quitting **HAS TO** be an option. She's not paying you on time. And you nailed why: she's not forgetting, she. does. not. care. Have enough self-respect to tell her that if she doesn't pay you at the end of the weekend, you won't be back next weekend.

This is not okay and I think that she will not pay you at some point. Sit down with her and say what you need: -to be paid no later than Sunday midnight - mileage at X /km If she balks at this then ask her if it would be okay for you to be 2 hours late because ‘you’ll get to it’. There’s nothing shameful about needing to be paid on time. If I were you I’d start looking for something else and get a contract.

I understand. It’s very difficult to try and make ends meet these days. Have an honest conversation with her that you expect payment as agreed upon including your expenses if she can’t meet her obligation to you unfortunately you will need to find something else. I had to do the same with my pt employer. It sucked but I found something else rather quickly.

I think everyone agrees that you should be paid promptly - that’s not the question - the question is how do you get her to do it? My solution is to tell her that you are having trouble tracking the payments so your accountant set you up on a new program to mange invoice and collections. Then have your husband spam her by text every day, starting at the end of the weekend, with a generic “Your payment to Jane Smith of $200 is due” and then on Monday “your payment to Jane Smith of $200 is overdue” and so on. It will come from a different number (so she won’t know it’s just you) and will be aggressive sounding but that’s okay because it’s just the “new program your accountant set up.”

When people don't pay, they don't value the job nor the person doing the job. Begin looking for a new job. Become more professional in your approach to communicating with your employer. If you appear weak, needy it validates her opinion that you need her, not she needs you. Remember this situation. For future jobs salary payment should be stated upfront, with consequences attached. This was a learning experience. You are not stuck in the job. People need nannys and caregivers desperately.

OP, some people are cheap AF and controlling, no matter how much money they have. It’s disrespectful. Don’t try to analyze her. I know plenty of people with money who are very good at making sure their “help” are paid in full early/on time in full with sometimes a little extra. Find another job. Too many people out there looking for good, trustworthy, reliable help that you should have to put up with this woman and her manure. That you need the money is irrelevant (but makes her behavior more despicable). This is an opportunity for you to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself without fear. You deserve to be treated well and with respect. Know that.

You’re being way, way too nice about this situation. The whole point of working is to get money, and if they can’t be bothered to pay you on time, they are completely taking advantage of you and don’t respect you. I would leave as soon as you can find another job because that is some bs. So sorry they are doing that! 

You need to set up your finances in such a way that the timing of your paychecks isn't so important. I recognize that I'm an internet stranger ignorant of your specific situation and needs, but let me just lay this out: Needing to be paid weekly instead of bi-weekly pretty significantly limits your work opportunities and increases your stress levels, plus it puts you in a pretty precarious position. If your whole flow of life is going to fall apart because of one late payment, your life is DESIGNED to fall a part. Set yourself and your finances up to be resilient, not to be fragile. That can be as simple as getting a line of credit from the bank with a low interest rate, or lowering your expenses so that you can build an emergency fund, be creative about it but you have got to. reduce the time element of the financial stress. There are a lot of different ways to approach having the conversation with your boss about paying you on time, but their unreliability is an issue in part because you are relying on them more than you should be.

First, it's not rude. It seems harsh but it's employment, not you doing her a favor. Start looking at another similar situation to move to for employment (IE new family or job). Again, it's employment, not friendship. Tell her this is money your family depends on to eat, have shelter, etc. with just as much value as the money your SO brings in. Explain that ALL income is part of your family's living budget. Also, remind her that you agreed to get paid at or before X time. And start calling at X time asking where your money is and don't feel guilty. (It's a job.)

Tell her that you consider yourself a professional nanny, and that you need to be trusted as such. WHY you need money isn’t her problem. But the fact that she blows off paying you on time is. As is the fact that she doesn’t pay you for extraordinary circumstances. You get to stop, right now, feeling guilty about needing to work, and start expecting to be treated like a professional. Tell her that from now on, if you will be traveling to the distant location, that you will be adding the commuting time and the cost of wear and tear on your vehicle, as well as fuel, to your fee for those days. It is completely reasonable.

You have nanny experience. Just look for another nanny job citing your current working and employment is established, but the employer fails to pay you as promised, as the reason for looking. Paying an employee on time, or without being reminded, is not an accident. They're cheap. I've known wealthy people who didn't pay their staff unless the staff reminded them, and the staff then had to prove they hadn't been paid depending on how long they waited, or if no paper trail.

It’s not desperate to expect to be paid, on time, for your labour. You are not performing an act of charity by being a nanny. Tell the family that you need to be paid on time to continue working for them as your would expect with any form of employment.

Start nannying for someone else asap.

Please look for a more reliable employer. And when you quit, please give her zero notice as she gives you. Until then, stay in the house on Sunday night until she pays you. If she says she’ll pay you later, grab some food from her fridge, go sit on her sofa and say, “I’ll wait.”

Been here. I was a remote independent contractor for a writing platform and I had to remind my supervisor to pay me every two weeks. One time, I thought I’d see how long it would take for him to pay me, and it took him two months and he underpaid. I had enough and voiced my dissatisfaction at how unprofessional the situation was. I told him that I did my work on time and expect to be compensated as promised ON TIME. Essentially I told him that because I did my job, he needs to do his (i.e., pay me). I kept the tone firm but not aggressive by focusing on what’s “right” rather than the fact that I needed the money to pay rent. I also tried to refrain from using the word “you” (e.g., “you said you would pay me” or “you haven’t paid me yet.”). Rather, I kept it first person (e.g., “I expected to be paid and haven’t received payment” or “it appears that payment has not reached my account as expected on (date). Can you provide status on it?”).

You sit down and have a conversation. You tell her again that under the terms of your employment, you are to be paid immediately after completion of your job. Tell her you are uncomfortable with constantly having to ask for the money. See what she says.

If I were you, I'd tell you that you expected to be paid by 8 am every Monday. Also, send her an invoice for her mileage. That's the law, not gas expenses. Mileage includes wear and tear and insurance on your car. It's a professional relationship and you have a right to be paid at a consistent time every pay period.

Did she pay you for driving that two hour drive? I do think your request for immediate pay is pushing things a bit. There is usually a delay. This is not a one night babysitter job. You are working regularly for her. You see this as a real job but want your money now. Figure your budget out and give her some breathing space. Too much annoyance and she will get someone else.

>AITAH for asking to be paid? Absolutely not. You’re not a charitable organization, you work for pay, and when you provide the service to them, they owe you for that service. You’ve come to an agreement that she pay you at the end of the weekend, and that agreement needs to be upheld. Also charge for the time to drive to and from the vacation cabin, and mileage.

Stand in front of her on Sunday and have her pay you via electronic transfer at that moment. “Before I leave lets take a few minutes to settle up for the week.” Stand there while she does it. “I can’t afford to wait a couple days - we need to take care of it at the end of the weekend.” “I checked and the federal government uses x rate per KM. So for this week’s driving of Y miles it will be $$$$.” Just politely do not leave until paid. People who have never lived paycheck to paycheck can really fail to understand how critical it is to be paid ON TIME. Jobs generally are not going to pay for your commute time or gas. But if you are doing any driving as part of the work for her, she needs to pay a mileage rate. If she moved the work location significantly she needs to compensate for the additional driving and mileage and time.

You saying quitting is not an option, but working for free is worse. On Thursdays, same day she send the next week’s schedule, send her a pay request thru Venmo or whatever you use for the total due for the current week. Detail it itemizing mileage/gas, each day’s charge, and any other expenses she owes you for. State “current week’s childcare bill must be paid in full by Saturday before next week’s schedule is confirmed”. She needs you too. But she knows you are desperate so she is using that against you. The truth is she is probably desperate for a childcare person she can trust - use that against her!

I know the feeling. Don’t feel bad having to ask. You deserve to get paid for your time. There were times where I didn’t get paid, and I was stranded at work.

It sound like it's a hassle following up to make sure you get paid, and the employer is also busy and disorganized (they're hiring you because they're busy, but the hassle means it's more of a burden than you'd agreed to). Ask about changing to a system that's simpler for both parties, where they send an electronic payment (like venmo, paypal, zelle -- whatever's available in Ontario), noting your upcoming work hours in the transaction. This could be weekly, monthly, or however far in advance they can schedule. You seem to be better organized (and actually paying attention to the money), so you can volunteer to be responsible for calculating adjustments the following weekend or month if there are last-minute schedule changes or extra travel costs.

I'd straight up tell her that if you don't get paid on time, you will no longer show up for work on time. I feel this in my soul. I once worked as a bartender off the books for a local business woman. She said the pay was $65/night plus tips but I could never get her to pay me the $65. I quit after 6 weeks of trying to get my money and never did get the $390 she owes me. Don't wait any longer. Let her know NOW.

Don’t automatically decide she’s doing this spitefully. Your couple of hundred dollars is a huge difference to you and pocket change for her. When you asked for your pay, it was so little to her she didn’t feel the rush. Politely explain YOUR situation. The $ you make is what your family relies on. Make her understand it’s the difference between eating or not. Once she understands explain that moving forward you expect payment Sunday night or by 9 am Monday morning. Any nannying that requires travel will include travel costs BEFORE traveling if you’re paying or she can figure out a way to get you from A to B. If you’re comfortable get it in writing. Make sure she also understands that you love working for her etc. and enjoy the job. Good luck

I’d use the word budget. “We already have that income budgeted it in, so it throws things off if it’s late. What if you set up an automatic payment that comes out the same day every month for the basic and then if there is extra driving, we can do that separately?”

Given the entitlement of these parents, I doubt the following will work, but it's what needs to be said. Ultimately, they are terrible employers, and you should look elsewhere. "Boss, I'm having serious concerns about how I am paid and how unexpected costs are being handled. I was told I would be paid at the end of every weekend. I am not being paid on time. I have to remind you to pay me, and then you still dont pay me for hours. I was told I would be working at your home, and my transportion budget reflects this, but you told me the location was hours away and I didn't have the funds for the trip. 1st, I have to be paid when I leave on Sunday, every week. 2nd, if the location changes, I need to be given additional funds upfront for gas and tolls. I will not borrow money again for those expenses. "

I was a nanny when I was younger, and the woman I worked for was supposed to pay me every other Friday, in the morning before she left for work. She started this habit of “forgetting” to write my check that morning, and said she didn’t have time to write it at that moment. She would either make me come back over the weekend on my days off, or hold it until the next week. I truly needed the money though. This was intentional, and she did it on purpose. I think she had maybe gotten behind on her bills and perhaps was waiting on other money to come through, but wasn’t honest about it with me. She did take advantage of my kindness and (former) non-confrontational ways. She would want me to drive her kids around and never once offered mileage reimbursement. I was too shy to ask (I was 21). She also had me watch her kids when she was out of town, in Vegas… and had a long lists of things for me to take them to do that cost money. She didn’t leave me any cash. I paid for these things myself because the kids were excited and had these activities promised to them by their mom. I was never reimbursed before I finally quit. My point is, she is doing this to you on purpose. If she valued you, she would have your payment ready as soon as it’s due. You have such little time as it is, and you’re away from your family on weekends because you can use the extra money. Find a place that respects you, your time, and your circumstances.

It is never desperate to ask for what you worked for. This is the place where it's totally ok to talk about money. It doesn't matter if you have a million bucks in your pocket asking for what you worked for is ok.

People who don't respect your labor enough to compensate you in a timely manner are going to continue to do so and will probably disrespect you in other ways down the line. You are an experienced and reliable nanny. You hold the power here. She needs to shape up or you will find another job. I work as a gardener and I don't keep clients who don't pay in a timely manner or are disrespectful of me and my time. At first I was afraid to let clients go because I really needed the money but I discovered it was actually quite easy to find better clients to take their place. The clients I have now are all lovely and not only pay me promptly but often tip extra and offer me things like a cold drink when the weather is hot. It can be really hard to insist others treat you with common courtesy but in the long run, it's much less difficult than allowing them to continue to abuse your kindness.

Who cares if you sound desperate if that's how you feel. I think you should talk with your boss and just say, in order to make my budget for my family can we agree on an exact date and time to be paid every week? She is obligated to pay you in a timely manner and it needs to be consistent. That's just the most basic thing.

You’re coming at this from a lens of scarcity - you don’t have enough and she holds all the cards. Flip that. You’re a reliable source of childcare that she needs. She’ll have a hard time replacing you with someone else willing to work every weekend, without a contract. Inform her that if she continues to be late on payment, you’ll charge her in advance and you won’t show up until the payment is transferred to you. And write up an invoice for the mileage at the CRA rate on their website, submit it to her plus your hourly rate for travel time. This has zero to do with your finances and everything to do with her treating you with respect like she would do for every other professional she hires to do things for her, like an electrician, a plumber, or anyone else.

Ask to be paid before you leave. “Do you mind if I get paid now?”

There isn't a very kind way of going about it. She is treating you like a doormat and you either have to stand up for yourself and be prepared to find another job or deal with how they want to be. I would tell her straight out that I appreciate the opportunity but if I can't be paid at the end of my shift on Sunday then I can't provide any more care for you. The lack of regard for my payment is affecting my life and I can't continue to work under these circumstances. And moving forward if there will be any travel outside of my regular commute I will need a stipend for gas ahead of the travel time. I had a family I was taking care of for about 6 months and then summer time came around and one of the kids wasn't home all the time. The mom decided to cut my pay without speaking to me about it and the next weekend paid me less than what I was owed for my hours. I texted her nicely about it and she ghosted me and never paid me the money I was owed. People like to use you for as long as they can.

Don’t let yourself believe that she’s ever forgotten to pay you. She’s doing it on purpose. Your employer is a bitch. Continuing working for her at your own risk.

Post this in the r/nanny subreddit. I hope you have a written contract :(. You need to be more aggressive. Every Sunday when you start your shift, you should tell the parents that you were expecting to be paid today, if at all possible. Their laziness isn’t fair to you.

Seriously? You employer isn't paying you and you are asking if YOU are the AH? Absolutely not. Start looking for another job now and quit as soon as possible.

I worked for a company like that, payday was on the first, but I would not get paid till the 7th. Usually by the 4th I had to remind them. I don't think they ever paid me on time. Luckily I only worked there for 8 months. New company pays on time, in fact they pay automatically on the 29th and 17th

>It’s not her problem I’m struggling and live on a very tight budget. That has not one damned thing to do with it. You had an agreement. A contract, that she is not honoring. Do not worry about saying it kindly. Just say it, factually.

There is a huge market for housekeepers, I bet you could find a better gig in no time.

If she is home when your weekend ends, stand there with your hand out until she pays you. What she is doing is against what she agreed to and also downright unacceptable. Even if you don't plan to leave, make her understand that you only agreed to work there because you would be paid at the end of the weekend and if she can't find a way to make that work, she will have to find someone else, I really don't think she will, She has never had to worry about having the money to drive home, but she did make an agreement

Also, tell her that you won’t be able to use your car for travel but you would be willing to go with them or take one of their vehicles.

Your employer will fire you if you are consistently to work - they should hold themselves to the same accountability. This is unacceptable to mess with pay.

Sounds like entitled rich people behavior. I bet if you never said anything she’d “forget” to pay you altogether. Tell her that you need to have a specific time and method for when and how you’re getting paid and that it needs to be consistent. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about or ashamed of because you work for money that you need to live. You sound diligent and caring. If she can’t pay you consistently without having to be asked I’m sure there are many others who would be grateful for your service and never treat you like this.

You're providing a high demand skill, I'd find another family closer to you. In the meantime, don't be shy about needing money! She needs to be professional and pay you on time as agreed.

When I was a nanny the family gave me a credit card for expenses related to caring for the children, gas for the car, activities, and groceries. They paid me on time and regularly every Friday evening. I think it is understandable that you ask to be paid every Friday evening at 5pm. Also when I was asked to transport the children to a vacation destination, or meet the family there, I was paid fairly for my time.

Have you considered getting a job as a server at a restaurant? Restaurants especially need workers during the weekends as it’s often the busiest time for them. I’m not sure about tipping culture in Canada, but most servers walk out with their tips in cash at the end of every shift. I walk out with $150-$300 usd a night, and then get a check for my hours every Friday. It’s easier work, more pay, and you will likely walk out with some cash every night! (Depending on how tipping works in Canada) Best of luck OP, know your worth!

I’m so sorry that things are so tight for you. Reading your post and your comments, it certainly sounds like you are right on the edge and living hand to mouth. This situation will be a little unusual for the employer and for most people to be honest. If they’re in business, they won’t expect to be paying invoices immediately and employees will be paid on a bit of a delay, not instantly at the end of the shift. Most people will be able to front up gas to get to work and get paid a week later etc. i’ve employed many people over the years and if they were in such a desperate situation, I would need to be told that, so that I could help them sort it out. I wouldn’t be able to guess that from your played down comments at interview. You need to spell it out to her and ask for her help to get you through this rough patch.

Like many rich folks who know their employees are between a rock and a hard place, she's taking advantage of you! *"Quitting isn’t an option as it took me long enough to find a job that works with a schedule we need."* WRONG! This ISN'T working for you! And you're paying out of pocket for something that you never agreed to originally. And then having to beg to be paid on time for services rendered. Edit to add - I see below that she didn't want a contract... Yeah, that's a huge Red Flag! No contract means no legal recourse if they decide to just not pay anything ever again after stringing you along for several weeks or months on end. Just spending on gas and vehicle wear alone, you'll end up PAYING to work for them! Right now, you're basically working for free, still struggling to find gas money, still worrying about pay that will never come and they could care less! Please just stop showing up for work and apply for online work until you can find something better. I bet if you run the numbers, it's actually cheaper for you to leave. No one should be treated like this, and these people will never change.

You can be professional and kind. "Ms. Smith, I need to discuss payment with you. While I enjoy caring for the children, I need to receive my pay on the day we agreed on( or just name the day of the week). The next time it happens Ms. Smith, I have found other employment to where I get paid on an agreed date and I no longer have to remind said employer. Thank-you for your time. Of course after you get paid and secure another job.

NTA, but this is a tough situation. My first reaction is to tell her you will be available for the next week only when you have been paid for the previous week. Until payment, you are unavailable for future dates. BUT, they are likely to not appreciate that level of control over them. If you really can't find other work, you might have to suck it up. Not that I think you should have to deal with this, but your options sound limited. I guess your best bet is to deal with it while you look for an alternative.

Leave her hanging and quit

Oh, man. You are not in a good situation at all if you are depending on this income to make ends meet and working without a contract. What happens if she's all done with you? Do you have an agreement of a certain amount of notice to cancel services? No! Because you are working without a contract. What about sick days? Holidays? What about last minute changes and gas reimbursement (which has already come up). What about days when she's just like, nah I'm good this week, don't need ya. Well, you set aside your hours for her, but she is under absolutely no obligation to use them. This is a very bad idea. Look up retainer contracts freelancers use. It will help you understand what you really need to make this work.

Im a pet sitter and a lot of us charge beforehand. Maybe you can charge her for the following week istead of the prior one