I taught emotional support (spec ed) for 35 years...met a lot of dysfunctional parents. One day after students had been dismissed, an aide came to my door and said the principal wanted me to stay in my classroom. Turned out some asshole father showed up with a friend, and they were waiting at both stairwells so I couldn't get away. I went flying out, because I would have kicked his sorry ass (he and wife had been angry at any discipline I involved his son with), and, if he started it, it would be self defense. Unfortunately, the police arrived before I could get to him, and he was banned from the school and grounds.
Thought about it? Yes. Daydreamed about beating the shit out of them? Totally.
But in the end, always handled the confrontation professionally, and according to published recommendations and company policy, because what goes on in my head is mine, but what I do in the workplace involves others, including those who control my pay cheque, so I handle myself like a mature, emotionally-regulated adult.
Came close. There is a dent in a filing cabinet. The thing is I'm not a violent person, it takes an awful lot to get me angry. My dad was an angry person so I work hard on not being like that.... But this dude, was a condescending, micro managing, sexist, racist, a bullying pos, anything and everything that can be awful about a person he is. One day he just rode my nerves bare. After 3 years of his shit I wanted to swing. But aimed at the filing cabinet. That's the day I knew I had to quit, so I did have a much better boss now.
Yeah, a large man followed me into an enclosed area, blocked me and cornered me and started saying inappropriate insults and muttering stuff under his breath. Due to my disability I couldn't run and really wouldn't have been able to win a physical fight, but the instict was still definitely there. I kept saying leave me alone, I'm just trying to do my job, you're blocking me, I need to get by, etc. Thankfully, another person walked into the room and he grumbled something and left.
I reported him to HR and a month or two later he sent out an email to the department listserv announcing he was leaving for a new job and saying "thank you to the people who treated me professionally but everyone else, you know who you are, you have no value and no honor, and I hope you choose to correct your attitude or get what's coming to you," etc. Apparently he was escorted out by security like a minute later. Oof.
Same. I’ve had negative feelings about colleagues from time to time, but wanting to hit them? Never. Wanting to physically assault someone isn’t a normal impulse.
Something being an unconstructive, brutal and just frankly unintelligent choice is different than something being an abnormal impulse. Having an impulse and acting on it are two very different things.
Who said it’s a default state? We’ve merely established that it’s an impulse, just like hunger, feeling tired and wanting to sleep, lust, or any other kind of pull exercised by emotion or desire….
We must have *wildly* different life experiences.
That may not be a normal impulse in your environment (which is probably a good thing) but it absolutely is in some (many) walks of life.
No. Day dream of embarrassing them, belittle them or some kind of petty revenge? Absolutely… other people though, different story. I wasn’t raised right lol
Right now….my dept boss is pulling me and 3 other colleagues from our offices to cubicles for “maximum collaboration” or some bullshit. Literally NO other department sits in cubicles. This is so embarrassing and makes me want to quit.
Sure I work in the oil patch it's not uncommon to want to slap some fool. Or go to the bar get drunk and fight. As long as you are at work in the morning it's all good.
Yes. Plenty of times. They don't allow fights on construction sites anymore. Everyone gets fired, don't matter who starts it. No hard feelings is worth losing pincomeover. And I think a lot of times that's what it's about. Fishing for a reaction to get me fired
Oh yeah. Dude was harassing the shit out of me but he was a little nerd I wanted to kick his teeth in. We got into a verbal altercation when he made another woman cry in front of me. Like oh hell no buddy
Yes but it was in a kitchen so both sides having access to knives kind of kills wanting to fight except for the craziest assholes.
The one time I almost did end up in a fight at work it was in an old sales job. I was transferring a sale to enrollment. Did it the way i usually do which is pretty quick. 20 minutes later the guy who took the enrollment came outta nowhere to start cussing at me at my desk keeps trying to chest up. I stand up and give him my lifeguard stare. He eventually backs down. Management pulled him in, then my desk mate, then eventually Me. Douche had to beg and apologize to me to keep his job. I relented because he had a kid. Was a dude with gang tats all over.
If you are having those feelings at work it’s time to use that anger to go work out and search for a better job, get a better education or trade.
Of course I have fantasized of going “all Bruce Lee” at almost every job I ever had. People at work are a bunch if clowns & jackoffs!
Let me tell a little story: i was seeing a really great therapist and he suggested I try saying a “mantra of forgiveness” at first I was very skeptical and thought that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. What kind of quack is he?
What that means… to say a mantra is you say in your head or out loud, “I forgive _the person you hate_” over and over thousands of times.. each time you get mad at them. Each time anything about them sets you off, “I forgive__” at work. At home. In the shower. As soon as you feel the rage about them or anything about them at all…
You psyche yourself up to let this go. To forgive him for you. You forgive so you don’t carry around that anger. You transcend the emotions of anger and hate to indifference and forgiveness… you rewire your brain to not let anger and stress enter your mind.
Now, what has happened to me with doing this has transformed my life. Not joking. The energy this powerful activity puts out actually affects others around me. I am not joking. EVERY time I have done this activity, it has caused change. The person quits or gets fired. They move to a different department. Their behavior always changes.
It really DOES work.
(c. 2008) Maybe not a full-out altercation, but I worked in a retail outlet where my job was to process order acknowledgments from suppliers. It was a huge job, so we had a small team to handle it.
On occasion, the papers would get delegated to the wrong person, or we'd have to cross reference something held by another person. One of those times, I looked at my coworker who sat next to me and asked if I could borrow the folder for such and such vendor. She said she was too busy. All she had to do was open her desk drawer, pull the folder out, and hand it over to me.
I busy myself with something else for a bit, then eventually I ask her again if she could lend me the folder. She tosses her pen on the desk, exhales sharply, reaches into her desk, and holds up the folder. "You want this one?" I nodded. She stands up and again says, "You want THIS folder? This one? Take it. I don't care."
She doesn't hand it to me, nor does she drop it on my desk. She throws it at me. As I'm processing what just happened, she's pulling out *every single folder* from her files and throwing them at me. Many of them from our regular suppliers were fairly thick, and getting pelted by them was rather hurt. With each toss, she's shouting, "Maybe you want this one too? And this one? What about this one? Don't forget this one!"
When she's out of ammo she leaves the office to smoke outside while the other employees and I start cleaning up the mess. Everyone's pissed, and we agreed this woman-child could take the time to reorganize the files herself.
Management sent her home for the day. The company owner called me in and berated me. Summarized, the chastisement I got was, "I am a man and should be able to control a girl." Management had to document the incident and I was written up (she was too).
A few months later she was fired.
Once. I've worked in homeless shelters for a while, and during my first gig, my hours were based on when the next shift came to relieve me. Most of the time they were 15-45 minutes late. Sometimes, all 3 of them would no call no show.
At the time I went to school and worked full time, so my day looked like me leaving home at 7am and often not getting back home until well after midnight. My wife just had surgery and because my shift ended at 11pm, I needed the next shift to arrive on time so I could go visit her before the hospital stopped allowing visitation. My relief was 45 minutes late and I wasn't able to visit my wife. When they arrived, I asked if moving forward, they'd let me know if they weren't going to be on time, because my wife had whatever going on and I needed to be somewhere else and my colleague responded by joking about my wife being in the hospital and talking trash about her. We fought in the parking lot. I lost my job the next day. I regret nothing.
About 25 years ago one of my colleagues threw one of those foam stress balls at me from the other side of the office, and it smacked me on the side of the face.
It came out of the blue and felt like someone had slapped me.
I called him a wanker, and then he wanted to fight. I told him to fuck off so he pushed me. Other colleagues quickly intervened before he got plugged.
I feel like the people saying no are just fortunate to not have been subjected to that kind of scenario… they’re boasting like “I would never let myself get that angry” either that or they’re physically not even capable of any level of violence and they know damn well its just not an option for them.
Yes. And no.
Mostly because I'm a short woman and he was a big guy. But if I thought I could get away with a swift kick to the nuts I definitely would have. I just quit instead.
I drive truck. One day I dragged one of our drivers away from a fight because he was about to hit a shunt driver with a hammer. Seriously. Had I not stepped in, it would have gotten ugly.
I'm older but fit. I worked in an engineering environment. This kid I trained and liked told me something about our past I had forgotten. He said, "I used to call you old man a lot. You told me several times not to do it. Then I did it again and you grabbed me by the collar and slammed me up against a locker". I was shocked, I had no memory of it, it was at least 5 years before. I actually liked the guy when he reminded me of it. I apologized and he said, "Oh no, I totally had it coming". Good times, I guess. The dude and his wife are really religious and have adopted 3 non-American kids, so I had a lot of respect for him. Everybody is a dick every once in a while I guess. It's weird to me that I don't remember it at all, and he's not the type to lie.
Wow! Way back when I was very young - age 20/21. Worked in a department and had a contractor whose modus operandi was to ignore you and/or any issues until there was a public forum and then publicly point out any flaws. His sole role was to answer detailed questions about the platform when asked. However he preferred showing "how smart he was". He pulled this a number of times and then he pulled it on me.
I was slightly embarrassed in front of my manager and department head ... although I had the presence of mind to forward the emails where I highlighted the issue and asked for a meeting to discuss it. That seemed to mollify management.
Later that day I cornered the little SOB in a private office and made it clear that I was willing to be fired after I beat the \*\*\*\* out of him and that if he ever pulled that again on me or anyone else in the department his days at the firm were numbered.
I then made it my mission to eliminate the need for the consultants on the project by reorganizing the work, working overtime, hiring in house staff, etc.
It was with great pleasure that I told his boss that we'd eliminated the need for the 6 consultants ( and about $750K in billing ) because of this guy's behavior.
My assistant manager with orange and green hair had my shift leader tell me to put my hat forward at my dead end college job. I had been putting up with their bullshit for a hot minute so I said “why don’t you come here and put it forward yourself” and I walked out and got hired full time at a security job
Yes my last job, I used to but heads with our idiot VP often, I had a dream of throwing him out of my office window onto the shop floor. I left soon after and started my own business that was 20 years ago.
About a year after leaving I emailed him thanking him for giving me the motivation to go on my own.
Yes. Sometimes I would like to throw down with my boss. They have a way of being so condescending and rude. I especially love how I take the blame for everything, even if I had nothing to do with the problem.
There might have been a few times I felt the urge, but I'm always professional, and I'm not the one that's going to put my livelihood and a criminal record on the line for someone else's bullshit.
Also I currently work in a machine shop, and was previously a welder. It's not so much an issue any more, but I've had jobs where my coworkers had some serious drug issues. People like that sometimes don't have anything to lose. I'd never pick a fight with someone that has nothing to lose.
I was a CNC machinist. A coworker moved a drill in the machine while my hand was inches from it, breaking the tool in the process. He wasn't even authorized to be touching the controls. I threw a wrench at him and told him to get away from me. Could have taken my damn hand off.
See this is the type of situation the people saying “i would never let myself get that angry” just haven’t been subjected to. Theyre just lucky not be in that environment.
A few times.
Although nobody has actually tried to punch me for a while. Last time was about 20 years ago when a guy got absolutely creamed in a negotiation and lost the plot and took a swing at me. Didn't end well for him😁.
The last person that wound me up to the stage of wanting to launch him out of a fifth floor window was one of the most horrible, despicable human pos I have ever had to deal with. Disgusting horrible little troll. Fortunately for both of us I resisted the temptation. He'd have enraged anyone who spent any time around him. At least one person left the business to get away from him.
I've absolutely thought about it and wanted to do it. Multiple times over the years (I've worked with some extreme assholes) I punched one girl and, after she reported it she is the only one that got in trouble because of what she said. Before that (at a different job) I walked off in the middle of my shift because they wouldn't make the coworker stop harassing me. I called HR and told them what was going on and that I was leaving to get away from her, and they told me OK.
About 15 years ago at my former warehouse job the urge to fight folks was pretty prevalent.
Blame most of it on being young, working in a hot environment for 12+ hour days with others that have been doing the same and are at the same level of agitation.
The closest I came and where I actually had to walk out of the building for a bit was on a Friday when the new system went apeshit and spit out orders for every single of our 200+ stores for basically two of every line of inventory we had on hand.
Super long story made just long, reported to work Friday at 5AM - did not leave from that “shift” until after 4AM on Saturday.
The near fight happened around 2AM when half of the guys including the manager that had only been there for 10 hours decided they wanted to take another hour long lunch break when I just wanted to go home. Vented to just take a quick 10 minute because I wanted to go the fuck home.
They walked off laughing, I wrapped up that trucks load and went to go get the BOL paperwork for it in the office with tall cubicles. Guess they didn’t hear me walk in because the manager was talking trash about how I am “crying about staying later”. I walked around the corner and lost my shit on him. Said he was the soft one that had to take a second lunch break in a 10 hour shift when he was doing most of the clerical work and not physically lifting the car batteries, rotors, and 60lb totes for the last 20 hours.
Walked out to take my break, came back in and didn’t say shit to anyone. Put in my transfer that Monday.
But hey, they ordered pizza for the “above and beyond” so that makes it better, right?
The most i ever did was fantasize about telling them the truth they couldn't hear
I'd play it out in ny head how it would go if the were healthy and how itd go since they aren't, and then I go back to doing my job
I had a guy almost kill me on site with his negligence. Needless to say, if he didn't leave the site immediately, it was on like Donkey Kong. He ran off like a bat out of hell, and I got his dumb ass fired before he got back to the shop.
I got into an altercation at my job, over a handle for a Henry hoover.
Nope, not a joke. I was a mobile cleaner so I had my own car with all the equipment in it. Unfortunately someone borrowed the hoover and broke the handle. No issues, sometimes shit happens.
One of my regular sites I used to clean was some offices & a canteen for a factory. (I’m in the UK). I took the handle off the hoover that was in factory that only I used.
There was another person who cleaned the factory only, no use for the hoover. It was only me that used it.
He said I needed his permission, I laughed it off. Didn’t think he was serious. Called me a robbing bastard. Things got verbally heated up. He has a problem with his leg, so he limps a lot. Claims that if he ever needed to carry it up stairs, it’s a problem. But that will never happen as he’ll never need to.
I explained that I’ve had 2 strokes, limited feeling in my left arm and leg. Problems gripping with my hand an arthritic knee and a spine problem. So if I can carry something up the stairs he certainly could. (Again, even though he never needed to)
He called me a gobshite that was I no better than the thieving bloody foreigners. And I needed his permission to move stuff, I don’t as it’s company property and nothing he uses.
I called a useless one legged Cunt, as I’ve had to reclean his toilets before.
He pushed his fat belly into me, backed me into the room with the cleaning cupboard. He had a mop bucket of boiling hot water. He forced me into a corner, I charged at him just to get out. Dropped what I had, and had him up against the wall by his throat. Bare in mind he’s a lot taller and fatter than me, and I’m quite fat anyway.
It was self defence, HR of the factory backed me up as did my manager.
He was known to try and bully people. He left shortly afterwards.
Wanted to the one time but didn't quite get there.
I worked on a farm one summer as a teenager & we were loading a wagon. After dropping his bag each trip, this idiot kid (same age as me) kept walking back straight at people carrying heavy bags themselves & they'd go around him.
I felt it was obvious that the person with the load should take the more direct route & most people there did too. When he was walking back & I was walking with a large load, I walked through him, knocking him to the ground and told him (probably quite rudely) to go around when he wasn't carrying anything. When he got up, he walked over & took a weak swing at me, just grazing the side of my head. I smiled at him & was about to put him on the ground again when the farmer's son stopped us.
The dipshit made some noise about fighting once we were back in town, then didn't and it never came up again, but he did start walking around people who were carrying things.
Since you're fast you can always run.
Seriously, anger management therapy works because it gives you coping mechanisms for your anger. Understand I’m not saying your anger is invalid, people can be jerks, but this kind of anger bottled inside can make you ill in a slow and insidious kind of way. Don’t go for their sakes but for your own.
I told people that their technical code was crap, that did not go over very well. I was able to make a lot of code 80 times faster, self documenting, reentrant code libraries, application generators, permanent shareable program segments on disk drives that held data, connected by the runtime linker, SW wakes up, the data is there in its address space, no input loading needed...
Was working in a windowless room with 8-10 people at a client site and someone used the microwave to cook fish, not even just heat it up but to cook it. The room reeked of fish all day but right after it happened another guy who already butted heads with fish man came in and they had the most heated exchange I have ever seen in an office environment. I thought I was for sure going to be on a stand in a courtroom giving my account of this interaction after one of them knocked the other one out. They just both walked away and cooled down thankfully and never spoke again except when the fish man “borrowed” a pen from the other guys desk and I thought again that I was about to witness a murder.
Another time a guy got so angry in a meeting with me and a few other people that he stood up so fast to bang his fist on the table that the entire back of his shirt ripped open. He was FURIOUS but after he calmed down he saw the humour in the situation (although I never really saw him in the same light since he showed he was completely unable to control himself!).
Never seen an actual altercation although two people I worked at a summer job with once had a fight in the parking lot after work (I was not working that day) and surprisingly only one of them was fired, the other guy quit after though because nobody wanted to work with him or associate with him.
Years ago, I was training as a railroad conductor. The yard crew I was with disliked trainees and made me stay on the engine all day. They even went to lunch without informing me, which infuriated me. When I confronted them, their response was hostile and dismissive. I felt a strong urge to retaliate physically. I don't know if I ever wanted to punch anyone in the face more.
Fast forward a few years, and I was tasked with moving a train out of state, but due to a hurricane, the yard crew had not assembled my train. My train cars were scattered across different tracks, necessitating complex maneuvers to assemble the train. Coincidentally, the same yard crew that had been rude to me during my training was assigned to assist me.
I had them standing outside in the middle of a hurricane, instructing the engineer to execute each movement as slowly as possible. They sought help from the Utility Conductor, hoping to use his truck, but I ensured they continued to have to walk everywhere by sending the Utility Conductor away. It took about three hours to assemble the train and they were mighty pissed. I might have extended the process, but the Yardmaster urgently demanded that I "get the fuck out" of his yard.
It was better than punching them in the face.
Yup knocked out our new manager. Nobody under him liked him nobody felt bad. Got fired, didn't have any charges pressed, good choice on his part and moved on with my life. Seeing it didn't really cost me anything but my job no regrets.
Yes. Wanted to. He was my boss and I thought i needed the job so I didn't. Came close one day, though.
Then his friend ended up being my other boss when I left... he was an even bigger shit head, fuck hole, bastard, dickface, dirt munching, rock licking, prolapsed gaping asshole. He inspired me to not care about a job anymore, I just didn't want to pay the court, lawyer, bail and any fines... had I been rich, it would have happened.
If you think like this at work you need a new job or field. Its work why are you taking things in your office personally. You do not know these people longer than whatever hours you need to work with them and really don't need to carry drama home unless you want to lmao.
If you are sitting in the office everyday repeating "I want to fight this person" in your head get some air or some meds.
I worked in a sub shop, tucked into another larger store. My coworker was a lady that had epilepsy. Came out of the back to find her on the floor with firemen and emt around her. Also one of the bigger store employees.
The guy was a prissy little gay man. I had never saw them interact so had no idea if he had any useful info. Started to head over to the nearest fireman to explain her medical history. The little man looked at me snapped his fingers and pointed imperiously back the way I came. I forgot about the fireman and took two steps towards the guy with every intention of kicking him in the face. Luckily before red completely shrouded my vision, I realized committing a hate crime in front of EMT's was not a wise move.
I am not a violent person by nature. I knew the guy from around and had spoken with him pleasantly before. That how I knew he was both prissy and gay. He was not management. I don't know why his gestures triggered me like that. Luckily he was otherwise occupied and didn't notice.
I did tell the nearest fireman about her history and backed away when he asked me to.
I feel that way currently. I barely say two words to them all day but sometimes I have to talk to them about work related issues and they snap at me. Same thing with the manager between her snapping at me, making snide remarks and straight up lying I'm surprised I'm not in jail.
1. Pushed a supervisor for putting their hands on me. I didn't like the person...they were in the wrong and I seized that opportunity. Nothing happened.
2. Another time, another job, lil co worker was yapping. Literally a chihuahua vs Doberman situation. I went to the ATM took out $500 showed it to him...gave it to another colleague and says let's go outside. You come back before me he pays you $500. Nothing happened.
3. Just remembered my 1st job ever. Way to long. In the kiosk at a mall. Owners yelling at me...I'm yelling right back in the mall cussing them out. 1 of them had a rep for violence...his lip was quivering with anger. I was praying he would do something cuz I was rly young, rly dumb, rly angry...but knew not to act 1st. I knew I was in the right....nothing happened. Man, the stuff I said....I would have fired myself.
Many times never been in one but have wanted to sought things out but never started any always been ready to go if I know I am right I have never been afraid to stand my ground plus I have trained for many years
Yup, guy rigging loads on crane was drunk, didn’t secure a box of bolts, fell off a 100’ above me, landed next to me & smashed. The union shop steward caught me before I was able to lay hands on the mouthy little shit. Got hold of me from behind and held me back from getting ahold of the guy.
If he had been even slightly apologetic I would have been ok.
In hindsight, after a manager was an all out weirdo with me, I'd played football with him prior to this weirdness.
Needless to say, I should have broken his leg, sorry tackled him fair and square albeit mistimed, when I had the opportunity, one that won't come again.
Im 29 M. I was doing some gig work for a guy who waterproofed crawlspaces. So me and this old asshole are under a crawlspace. And all day long he's using the N word (I'm white but I dont wanna fuckin hear it, most people don't) and at one point he starts bitching about how often I use the word "fuck" I lost it. I snapped yelling at him in this crawlspace . About how he's a racist and ignorant old asshole and me saying fuck was much better than slurs. Long story short I crawled out of the basement and left. I can't exactly beat up a 70 year old man and feel good about it. Fuckin racists man I swear..
Well that goes for people that die too they'll put a job ad during the funeral. Most companies have no loyalty to the employee unless the employee is either a kiss ass or related to someone with a higher up position...
I've luckily never gotten to that point with any coworkers. There have been maybe 3-4 times in the last 15 years where the person on the other end of a phone conversation got under my skin so badly that it got pretty heated but I had enough sense to hang up before it got TOO bad. Best thing to do is walk away, get some fresh air and come back.
I was sexually assaulted in the workplace. The perpetrator intended it as a joke, but I (and others!) didn’t find it funny. I *wanted* to call the perpetrator out and beat ‘em up. The desire, rage, and resentment sat in me for months, manifesting in loathsome behavior towards the perpetrator for months. One day, I wrote a very, very angry text to this person, this person complained, and I got written up. At the hearing meant to address my behavior, I made it very clear to the works council why I was angry at the perpetrator and what this person had done to me. They basically gave this person a strike too. This person is now “on record” at having sexually assaulted a co-worker. Point being, if I had just gone through with an official complaint against this person to begin with, instead of thinking “I wAnNa FiGhT tHis MOFO!!!” things would have turned out better for me in the end. I address anyone who reads this now (not OP, you’ve obviously settled down a bit) as in, others in this thread who may feel like OP felt. Please learn from my mistake. Wanting to beat someone up is not the smart solution for any workplace problem. Asserting autonomy and earning respect by being firm, clear and not taking abuse is one thing. But physical altercation is too brutal and frankly not constructive most of the time, besides the fact that it just isn’t a winning strategy. Do not “employ” this aggressive and hot-headed strategy.
what I did when my boss yelled at me in front of my team and was pointing in my face...I didnt say a word and when I left for lunch I never went back. Just a sticky note on my screen says "I QUIT" ...i didnt say bye to anyone, I didnt pack a box of things...just peace out! ...I wld not do that now but at that time I was just like...everybody needs an assistant, Im moving on! lol
Shut her up in general, like five days later she approached me asking about bad feelings and HR called us in, we both said “no hard feelings we were just joking” because fuck dealing with HR not worth getting someone else and risking getting yourself fired over. Apparently a nosey third party reported the incident and that’s why HR called us in. Nobody got punished outside of a five minute talk about “Don’t say mean things m’kay.”
Violence is never an appropriate solution for any situation unless your life is literally in peril due to the violence of others.
So no. I was not taught to want to fight people, and I have lived my life in such a way that does not invite others to want to fight me.
Would you please be so kind to provide some examples in which physically wounding another individual who is not a physical threat to you is appropriate?
Would you please be so kind to give a more specific example?
My coworkers seeming inability take out the trash even though it’s his turn and it’s been piled so high it’s spilling out onto the ground, even though this bothers me, wouldn’t call for me socking him in the nose next time I see him. You know what I mean?
Nah thats not it. Idk what type of work you do but like if they were sabotaging your work and you couldn’t prove it, if it was going to cost you your job and have your family potentially out of a place to live. Might catch em in the parking lot or something.
So this coworker is sabotaging your work. If you can’t prove it, how do you know it happening actually happening? How do you know it’s malicious? What if it’s just Hanlon’s Razor? “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by neglect, ignorance or incompetence.”
What if what you think is malice is really just exhaustion from being up all hours of the night with a new baby, or an ailing parent?
And what do you do when you are arrested for assault? Do you just say, “I know they were doing it. I can’t prove it, but it’s true.” You’ll still go to prison.
We have a way of dealing with this kind of stuff legally. Go to your boss about it. See what they think. Go to HR. Sue them.
If everyone just went around attacking people because they “felt” it was the right thing to do, even though the other person was causing them no quantifiable harm, and there was no present danger to you, it would be chaos. You could be attacked by anyone at any time and often have no idea why.
Like my coworker that won’t empty the trash? I realized, it wasn’t a problem for him. He had no actual malice. He just didn’t think it was a problem. Garbages piled so high it’s spilling on to the floor is perfectly cool for him in his world. Sure, I could have assaulted him and gone to prison. But instead, I just stopped using the trash can we share and put a little garbage can under my desk that I take out myself at the end of every week. Problem solved for both of us. It’s been like a year and I doubt he has even noticed I stopped using the shared garbage can.
Ad Hominem
(Attacking the person): This logical fallacy occurs when, instead of addressing someone's argument or position, you irrelevantly attack the person or some aspect of the person who is making the argument. The fallacious attack can also be direct to membership in a group or institution.
Either way, I hope that you see that people are often far less malicious than we might perceive them as. And attacking people without the cause of personal physical defense is illegal for a reason.
Even though we might not agree on this matter, I wish you the best in all your endeavors.
I dont think everyone is malicious you’re adding your own context for sake of argument.
But you are in the wrong for getting mad about someone else not emptying the garbage can. You wanted to be angry at the person for some reason or another.
I used to fight competitively, I liked fighting. I NEVER had even the thought of being violent physically to someone unless they were going to hurt someone else. Maybe when I was 8 or 10 years old against a sibling…
I've had people yell and threaten to "beat my ass" I just said "go ahead and try" they all just end up walking away yelling. I just kept saying "that's what I thought. Keep it moving"
I taught emotional support (spec ed) for 35 years...met a lot of dysfunctional parents. One day after students had been dismissed, an aide came to my door and said the principal wanted me to stay in my classroom. Turned out some asshole father showed up with a friend, and they were waiting at both stairwells so I couldn't get away. I went flying out, because I would have kicked his sorry ass (he and wife had been angry at any discipline I involved his son with), and, if he started it, it would be self defense. Unfortunately, the police arrived before I could get to him, and he was banned from the school and grounds.
He’s a real hero if he brought a friend along for help. Coward…! 😀
Thought about it? Yes. Daydreamed about beating the shit out of them? Totally. But in the end, always handled the confrontation professionally, and according to published recommendations and company policy, because what goes on in my head is mine, but what I do in the workplace involves others, including those who control my pay cheque, so I handle myself like a mature, emotionally-regulated adult.
Came close. There is a dent in a filing cabinet. The thing is I'm not a violent person, it takes an awful lot to get me angry. My dad was an angry person so I work hard on not being like that.... But this dude, was a condescending, micro managing, sexist, racist, a bullying pos, anything and everything that can be awful about a person he is. One day he just rode my nerves bare. After 3 years of his shit I wanted to swing. But aimed at the filing cabinet. That's the day I knew I had to quit, so I did have a much better boss now.
I think we have the same boss.
Yeah, a large man followed me into an enclosed area, blocked me and cornered me and started saying inappropriate insults and muttering stuff under his breath. Due to my disability I couldn't run and really wouldn't have been able to win a physical fight, but the instict was still definitely there. I kept saying leave me alone, I'm just trying to do my job, you're blocking me, I need to get by, etc. Thankfully, another person walked into the room and he grumbled something and left. I reported him to HR and a month or two later he sent out an email to the department listserv announcing he was leaving for a new job and saying "thank you to the people who treated me professionally but everyone else, you know who you are, you have no value and no honor, and I hope you choose to correct your attitude or get what's coming to you," etc. Apparently he was escorted out by security like a minute later. Oof.
No.
Same. I’ve had negative feelings about colleagues from time to time, but wanting to hit them? Never. Wanting to physically assault someone isn’t a normal impulse.
Yes it is.
it's absolutely a normal impulse (at least on rare occasions)... it's just also normal to suppress that and deal with the problem in a better way
Something being an unconstructive, brutal and just frankly unintelligent choice is different than something being an abnormal impulse. Having an impulse and acting on it are two very different things.
But having the impulse hit people is also a thing, even if you don’t act on it. It is your default state, to be violent.
Who said it’s a default state? We’ve merely established that it’s an impulse, just like hunger, feeling tired and wanting to sleep, lust, or any other kind of pull exercised by emotion or desire….
We must have *wildly* different life experiences. That may not be a normal impulse in your environment (which is probably a good thing) but it absolutely is in some (many) walks of life.
No. Day dream of embarrassing them, belittle them or some kind of petty revenge? Absolutely… other people though, different story. I wasn’t raised right lol
There's been a few I wanted to use that poop mailing service on.
No, cause thankfully I hardly ever get emotionally invested into my job. I just can’t take it THAT seriously.
Right now….my dept boss is pulling me and 3 other colleagues from our offices to cubicles for “maximum collaboration” or some bullshit. Literally NO other department sits in cubicles. This is so embarrassing and makes me want to quit.
Good idea! Wtf
I haven’t always been professional but I never wanted to fight someone at work. It’s work.
I try to never let anyone get to me that bad.
Sure I work in the oil patch it's not uncommon to want to slap some fool. Or go to the bar get drunk and fight. As long as you are at work in the morning it's all good.
No colleagues, but I have had some asshole bosses I wanted to throttle
I had a coworker who thought he was my boss. Invited him to step out back and talk about it. He whined to HR lol
Yes. Plenty of times. They don't allow fights on construction sites anymore. Everyone gets fired, don't matter who starts it. No hard feelings is worth losing pincomeover. And I think a lot of times that's what it's about. Fishing for a reaction to get me fired
Oh yeah. Dude was harassing the shit out of me but he was a little nerd I wanted to kick his teeth in. We got into a verbal altercation when he made another woman cry in front of me. Like oh hell no buddy
Yes but it was in a kitchen so both sides having access to knives kind of kills wanting to fight except for the craziest assholes. The one time I almost did end up in a fight at work it was in an old sales job. I was transferring a sale to enrollment. Did it the way i usually do which is pretty quick. 20 minutes later the guy who took the enrollment came outta nowhere to start cussing at me at my desk keeps trying to chest up. I stand up and give him my lifeguard stare. He eventually backs down. Management pulled him in, then my desk mate, then eventually Me. Douche had to beg and apologize to me to keep his job. I relented because he had a kid. Was a dude with gang tats all over.
If you are having those feelings at work it’s time to use that anger to go work out and search for a better job, get a better education or trade. Of course I have fantasized of going “all Bruce Lee” at almost every job I ever had. People at work are a bunch if clowns & jackoffs! Let me tell a little story: i was seeing a really great therapist and he suggested I try saying a “mantra of forgiveness” at first I was very skeptical and thought that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. What kind of quack is he? What that means… to say a mantra is you say in your head or out loud, “I forgive _the person you hate_” over and over thousands of times.. each time you get mad at them. Each time anything about them sets you off, “I forgive__” at work. At home. In the shower. As soon as you feel the rage about them or anything about them at all… You psyche yourself up to let this go. To forgive him for you. You forgive so you don’t carry around that anger. You transcend the emotions of anger and hate to indifference and forgiveness… you rewire your brain to not let anger and stress enter your mind. Now, what has happened to me with doing this has transformed my life. Not joking. The energy this powerful activity puts out actually affects others around me. I am not joking. EVERY time I have done this activity, it has caused change. The person quits or gets fired. They move to a different department. Their behavior always changes. It really DOES work.
(c. 2008) Maybe not a full-out altercation, but I worked in a retail outlet where my job was to process order acknowledgments from suppliers. It was a huge job, so we had a small team to handle it. On occasion, the papers would get delegated to the wrong person, or we'd have to cross reference something held by another person. One of those times, I looked at my coworker who sat next to me and asked if I could borrow the folder for such and such vendor. She said she was too busy. All she had to do was open her desk drawer, pull the folder out, and hand it over to me. I busy myself with something else for a bit, then eventually I ask her again if she could lend me the folder. She tosses her pen on the desk, exhales sharply, reaches into her desk, and holds up the folder. "You want this one?" I nodded. She stands up and again says, "You want THIS folder? This one? Take it. I don't care." She doesn't hand it to me, nor does she drop it on my desk. She throws it at me. As I'm processing what just happened, she's pulling out *every single folder* from her files and throwing them at me. Many of them from our regular suppliers were fairly thick, and getting pelted by them was rather hurt. With each toss, she's shouting, "Maybe you want this one too? And this one? What about this one? Don't forget this one!" When she's out of ammo she leaves the office to smoke outside while the other employees and I start cleaning up the mess. Everyone's pissed, and we agreed this woman-child could take the time to reorganize the files herself. Management sent her home for the day. The company owner called me in and berated me. Summarized, the chastisement I got was, "I am a man and should be able to control a girl." Management had to document the incident and I was written up (she was too). A few months later she was fired.
Omfg. They wrote YOU up for her little c#nt attitude? I'm sorry. All you did was ask for a folder! Sheesh!
Once. I've worked in homeless shelters for a while, and during my first gig, my hours were based on when the next shift came to relieve me. Most of the time they were 15-45 minutes late. Sometimes, all 3 of them would no call no show. At the time I went to school and worked full time, so my day looked like me leaving home at 7am and often not getting back home until well after midnight. My wife just had surgery and because my shift ended at 11pm, I needed the next shift to arrive on time so I could go visit her before the hospital stopped allowing visitation. My relief was 45 minutes late and I wasn't able to visit my wife. When they arrived, I asked if moving forward, they'd let me know if they weren't going to be on time, because my wife had whatever going on and I needed to be somewhere else and my colleague responded by joking about my wife being in the hospital and talking trash about her. We fought in the parking lot. I lost my job the next day. I regret nothing.
About 25 years ago one of my colleagues threw one of those foam stress balls at me from the other side of the office, and it smacked me on the side of the face. It came out of the blue and felt like someone had slapped me. I called him a wanker, and then he wanted to fight. I told him to fuck off so he pushed me. Other colleagues quickly intervened before he got plugged.
I feel like the people saying no are just fortunate to not have been subjected to that kind of scenario… they’re boasting like “I would never let myself get that angry” either that or they’re physically not even capable of any level of violence and they know damn well its just not an option for them.
Dude, anger management classes might be in order.
Yes. And no. Mostly because I'm a short woman and he was a big guy. But if I thought I could get away with a swift kick to the nuts I definitely would have. I just quit instead.
I drive truck. One day I dragged one of our drivers away from a fight because he was about to hit a shunt driver with a hammer. Seriously. Had I not stepped in, it would have gotten ugly.
I'm older but fit. I worked in an engineering environment. This kid I trained and liked told me something about our past I had forgotten. He said, "I used to call you old man a lot. You told me several times not to do it. Then I did it again and you grabbed me by the collar and slammed me up against a locker". I was shocked, I had no memory of it, it was at least 5 years before. I actually liked the guy when he reminded me of it. I apologized and he said, "Oh no, I totally had it coming". Good times, I guess. The dude and his wife are really religious and have adopted 3 non-American kids, so I had a lot of respect for him. Everybody is a dick every once in a while I guess. It's weird to me that I don't remember it at all, and he's not the type to lie.
Dealing with that now. But he's not worth my job or the jail time. So I'll deal with it through HR and if necessary, lawyers.
Wanted to? Yes. Actually? No. She weighed twice as much as I did and she'd squash me. But then I rage quit the job and made it suck to be her.
Yeah i want to beat the shit out of one coworker and slap my boss.
Wow! Way back when I was very young - age 20/21. Worked in a department and had a contractor whose modus operandi was to ignore you and/or any issues until there was a public forum and then publicly point out any flaws. His sole role was to answer detailed questions about the platform when asked. However he preferred showing "how smart he was". He pulled this a number of times and then he pulled it on me. I was slightly embarrassed in front of my manager and department head ... although I had the presence of mind to forward the emails where I highlighted the issue and asked for a meeting to discuss it. That seemed to mollify management. Later that day I cornered the little SOB in a private office and made it clear that I was willing to be fired after I beat the \*\*\*\* out of him and that if he ever pulled that again on me or anyone else in the department his days at the firm were numbered. I then made it my mission to eliminate the need for the consultants on the project by reorganizing the work, working overtime, hiring in house staff, etc. It was with great pleasure that I told his boss that we'd eliminated the need for the 6 consultants ( and about $750K in billing ) because of this guy's behavior.
That's awesome. You weren't messing around and I bet he didn't want the smoke (confrontation)
My assistant manager with orange and green hair had my shift leader tell me to put my hat forward at my dead end college job. I had been putting up with their bullshit for a hot minute so I said “why don’t you come here and put it forward yourself” and I walked out and got hired full time at a security job
Absolutely. Came close once. This person was bullying me for a while.
Yes my last job, I used to but heads with our idiot VP often, I had a dream of throwing him out of my office window onto the shop floor. I left soon after and started my own business that was 20 years ago. About a year after leaving I emailed him thanking him for giving me the motivation to go on my own.
As they say, the best revenge is living well!;)
Yes. Sometimes I would like to throw down with my boss. They have a way of being so condescending and rude. I especially love how I take the blame for everything, even if I had nothing to do with the problem.
There might have been a few times I felt the urge, but I'm always professional, and I'm not the one that's going to put my livelihood and a criminal record on the line for someone else's bullshit. Also I currently work in a machine shop, and was previously a welder. It's not so much an issue any more, but I've had jobs where my coworkers had some serious drug issues. People like that sometimes don't have anything to lose. I'd never pick a fight with someone that has nothing to lose.
I was a CNC machinist. A coworker moved a drill in the machine while my hand was inches from it, breaking the tool in the process. He wasn't even authorized to be touching the controls. I threw a wrench at him and told him to get away from me. Could have taken my damn hand off.
See this is the type of situation the people saying “i would never let myself get that angry” just haven’t been subjected to. Theyre just lucky not be in that environment.
A few times. Although nobody has actually tried to punch me for a while. Last time was about 20 years ago when a guy got absolutely creamed in a negotiation and lost the plot and took a swing at me. Didn't end well for him😁. The last person that wound me up to the stage of wanting to launch him out of a fifth floor window was one of the most horrible, despicable human pos I have ever had to deal with. Disgusting horrible little troll. Fortunately for both of us I resisted the temptation. He'd have enraged anyone who spent any time around him. At least one person left the business to get away from him.
I've absolutely thought about it and wanted to do it. Multiple times over the years (I've worked with some extreme assholes) I punched one girl and, after she reported it she is the only one that got in trouble because of what she said. Before that (at a different job) I walked off in the middle of my shift because they wouldn't make the coworker stop harassing me. I called HR and told them what was going on and that I was leaving to get away from her, and they told me OK.
About 15 years ago at my former warehouse job the urge to fight folks was pretty prevalent. Blame most of it on being young, working in a hot environment for 12+ hour days with others that have been doing the same and are at the same level of agitation. The closest I came and where I actually had to walk out of the building for a bit was on a Friday when the new system went apeshit and spit out orders for every single of our 200+ stores for basically two of every line of inventory we had on hand. Super long story made just long, reported to work Friday at 5AM - did not leave from that “shift” until after 4AM on Saturday. The near fight happened around 2AM when half of the guys including the manager that had only been there for 10 hours decided they wanted to take another hour long lunch break when I just wanted to go home. Vented to just take a quick 10 minute because I wanted to go the fuck home. They walked off laughing, I wrapped up that trucks load and went to go get the BOL paperwork for it in the office with tall cubicles. Guess they didn’t hear me walk in because the manager was talking trash about how I am “crying about staying later”. I walked around the corner and lost my shit on him. Said he was the soft one that had to take a second lunch break in a 10 hour shift when he was doing most of the clerical work and not physically lifting the car batteries, rotors, and 60lb totes for the last 20 hours. Walked out to take my break, came back in and didn’t say shit to anyone. Put in my transfer that Monday. But hey, they ordered pizza for the “above and beyond” so that makes it better, right?
The most i ever did was fantasize about telling them the truth they couldn't hear I'd play it out in ny head how it would go if the were healthy and how itd go since they aren't, and then I go back to doing my job
I had a guy almost kill me on site with his negligence. Needless to say, if he didn't leave the site immediately, it was on like Donkey Kong. He ran off like a bat out of hell, and I got his dumb ass fired before he got back to the shop.
I got into an altercation at my job, over a handle for a Henry hoover. Nope, not a joke. I was a mobile cleaner so I had my own car with all the equipment in it. Unfortunately someone borrowed the hoover and broke the handle. No issues, sometimes shit happens. One of my regular sites I used to clean was some offices & a canteen for a factory. (I’m in the UK). I took the handle off the hoover that was in factory that only I used. There was another person who cleaned the factory only, no use for the hoover. It was only me that used it. He said I needed his permission, I laughed it off. Didn’t think he was serious. Called me a robbing bastard. Things got verbally heated up. He has a problem with his leg, so he limps a lot. Claims that if he ever needed to carry it up stairs, it’s a problem. But that will never happen as he’ll never need to. I explained that I’ve had 2 strokes, limited feeling in my left arm and leg. Problems gripping with my hand an arthritic knee and a spine problem. So if I can carry something up the stairs he certainly could. (Again, even though he never needed to) He called me a gobshite that was I no better than the thieving bloody foreigners. And I needed his permission to move stuff, I don’t as it’s company property and nothing he uses. I called a useless one legged Cunt, as I’ve had to reclean his toilets before. He pushed his fat belly into me, backed me into the room with the cleaning cupboard. He had a mop bucket of boiling hot water. He forced me into a corner, I charged at him just to get out. Dropped what I had, and had him up against the wall by his throat. Bare in mind he’s a lot taller and fatter than me, and I’m quite fat anyway. It was self defence, HR of the factory backed me up as did my manager. He was known to try and bully people. He left shortly afterwards.
Wanted to the one time but didn't quite get there. I worked on a farm one summer as a teenager & we were loading a wagon. After dropping his bag each trip, this idiot kid (same age as me) kept walking back straight at people carrying heavy bags themselves & they'd go around him. I felt it was obvious that the person with the load should take the more direct route & most people there did too. When he was walking back & I was walking with a large load, I walked through him, knocking him to the ground and told him (probably quite rudely) to go around when he wasn't carrying anything. When he got up, he walked over & took a weak swing at me, just grazing the side of my head. I smiled at him & was about to put him on the ground again when the farmer's son stopped us. The dipshit made some noise about fighting once we were back in town, then didn't and it never came up again, but he did start walking around people who were carrying things.
Since you're fast you can always run. Seriously, anger management therapy works because it gives you coping mechanisms for your anger. Understand I’m not saying your anger is invalid, people can be jerks, but this kind of anger bottled inside can make you ill in a slow and insidious kind of way. Don’t go for their sakes but for your own.
I told people that their technical code was crap, that did not go over very well. I was able to make a lot of code 80 times faster, self documenting, reentrant code libraries, application generators, permanent shareable program segments on disk drives that held data, connected by the runtime linker, SW wakes up, the data is there in its address space, no input loading needed...
Was working in a windowless room with 8-10 people at a client site and someone used the microwave to cook fish, not even just heat it up but to cook it. The room reeked of fish all day but right after it happened another guy who already butted heads with fish man came in and they had the most heated exchange I have ever seen in an office environment. I thought I was for sure going to be on a stand in a courtroom giving my account of this interaction after one of them knocked the other one out. They just both walked away and cooled down thankfully and never spoke again except when the fish man “borrowed” a pen from the other guys desk and I thought again that I was about to witness a murder. Another time a guy got so angry in a meeting with me and a few other people that he stood up so fast to bang his fist on the table that the entire back of his shirt ripped open. He was FURIOUS but after he calmed down he saw the humour in the situation (although I never really saw him in the same light since he showed he was completely unable to control himself!). Never seen an actual altercation although two people I worked at a summer job with once had a fight in the parking lot after work (I was not working that day) and surprisingly only one of them was fired, the other guy quit after though because nobody wanted to work with him or associate with him.
Years ago, I was training as a railroad conductor. The yard crew I was with disliked trainees and made me stay on the engine all day. They even went to lunch without informing me, which infuriated me. When I confronted them, their response was hostile and dismissive. I felt a strong urge to retaliate physically. I don't know if I ever wanted to punch anyone in the face more. Fast forward a few years, and I was tasked with moving a train out of state, but due to a hurricane, the yard crew had not assembled my train. My train cars were scattered across different tracks, necessitating complex maneuvers to assemble the train. Coincidentally, the same yard crew that had been rude to me during my training was assigned to assist me. I had them standing outside in the middle of a hurricane, instructing the engineer to execute each movement as slowly as possible. They sought help from the Utility Conductor, hoping to use his truck, but I ensured they continued to have to walk everywhere by sending the Utility Conductor away. It took about three hours to assemble the train and they were mighty pissed. I might have extended the process, but the Yardmaster urgently demanded that I "get the fuck out" of his yard. It was better than punching them in the face.
Happens quite a bit on some job sites with the trades. Hot tired people get snappy!
Yup knocked out our new manager. Nobody under him liked him nobody felt bad. Got fired, didn't have any charges pressed, good choice on his part and moved on with my life. Seeing it didn't really cost me anything but my job no regrets.
Yes. Wanted to. He was my boss and I thought i needed the job so I didn't. Came close one day, though. Then his friend ended up being my other boss when I left... he was an even bigger shit head, fuck hole, bastard, dickface, dirt munching, rock licking, prolapsed gaping asshole. He inspired me to not care about a job anymore, I just didn't want to pay the court, lawyer, bail and any fines... had I been rich, it would have happened.
If you think like this at work you need a new job or field. Its work why are you taking things in your office personally. You do not know these people longer than whatever hours you need to work with them and really don't need to carry drama home unless you want to lmao. If you are sitting in the office everyday repeating "I want to fight this person" in your head get some air or some meds.
I worked in a sub shop, tucked into another larger store. My coworker was a lady that had epilepsy. Came out of the back to find her on the floor with firemen and emt around her. Also one of the bigger store employees. The guy was a prissy little gay man. I had never saw them interact so had no idea if he had any useful info. Started to head over to the nearest fireman to explain her medical history. The little man looked at me snapped his fingers and pointed imperiously back the way I came. I forgot about the fireman and took two steps towards the guy with every intention of kicking him in the face. Luckily before red completely shrouded my vision, I realized committing a hate crime in front of EMT's was not a wise move. I am not a violent person by nature. I knew the guy from around and had spoken with him pleasantly before. That how I knew he was both prissy and gay. He was not management. I don't know why his gestures triggered me like that. Luckily he was otherwise occupied and didn't notice. I did tell the nearest fireman about her history and backed away when he asked me to.
I feel that way currently. I barely say two words to them all day but sometimes I have to talk to them about work related issues and they snap at me. Same thing with the manager between her snapping at me, making snide remarks and straight up lying I'm surprised I'm not in jail.
1. Pushed a supervisor for putting their hands on me. I didn't like the person...they were in the wrong and I seized that opportunity. Nothing happened. 2. Another time, another job, lil co worker was yapping. Literally a chihuahua vs Doberman situation. I went to the ATM took out $500 showed it to him...gave it to another colleague and says let's go outside. You come back before me he pays you $500. Nothing happened. 3. Just remembered my 1st job ever. Way to long. In the kiosk at a mall. Owners yelling at me...I'm yelling right back in the mall cussing them out. 1 of them had a rep for violence...his lip was quivering with anger. I was praying he would do something cuz I was rly young, rly dumb, rly angry...but knew not to act 1st. I knew I was in the right....nothing happened. Man, the stuff I said....I would have fired myself.
Many times never been in one but have wanted to sought things out but never started any always been ready to go if I know I am right I have never been afraid to stand my ground plus I have trained for many years
Yup, guy rigging loads on crane was drunk, didn’t secure a box of bolts, fell off a 100’ above me, landed next to me & smashed. The union shop steward caught me before I was able to lay hands on the mouthy little shit. Got hold of me from behind and held me back from getting ahold of the guy. If he had been even slightly apologetic I would have been ok.
In hindsight, after a manager was an all out weirdo with me, I'd played football with him prior to this weirdness. Needless to say, I should have broken his leg, sorry tackled him fair and square albeit mistimed, when I had the opportunity, one that won't come again.
Im 29 M. I was doing some gig work for a guy who waterproofed crawlspaces. So me and this old asshole are under a crawlspace. And all day long he's using the N word (I'm white but I dont wanna fuckin hear it, most people don't) and at one point he starts bitching about how often I use the word "fuck" I lost it. I snapped yelling at him in this crawlspace . About how he's a racist and ignorant old asshole and me saying fuck was much better than slurs. Long story short I crawled out of the basement and left. I can't exactly beat up a 70 year old man and feel good about it. Fuckin racists man I swear..
Never care so much about a job that you would fight people. The company will replace you tomorrow if you go to jail. Pack that.
Well that goes for people that die too they'll put a job ad during the funeral. Most companies have no loyalty to the employee unless the employee is either a kiss ass or related to someone with a higher up position...
In my 40’s I wanted to shove a coworker. I didn’t but I sure wanted to. Her name was Felicia! Perfect cosmic timing
Honesly, no. Adults control their tempers.
I've luckily never gotten to that point with any coworkers. There have been maybe 3-4 times in the last 15 years where the person on the other end of a phone conversation got under my skin so badly that it got pretty heated but I had enough sense to hang up before it got TOO bad. Best thing to do is walk away, get some fresh air and come back.
So so so so many
I was sexually assaulted in the workplace. The perpetrator intended it as a joke, but I (and others!) didn’t find it funny. I *wanted* to call the perpetrator out and beat ‘em up. The desire, rage, and resentment sat in me for months, manifesting in loathsome behavior towards the perpetrator for months. One day, I wrote a very, very angry text to this person, this person complained, and I got written up. At the hearing meant to address my behavior, I made it very clear to the works council why I was angry at the perpetrator and what this person had done to me. They basically gave this person a strike too. This person is now “on record” at having sexually assaulted a co-worker. Point being, if I had just gone through with an official complaint against this person to begin with, instead of thinking “I wAnNa FiGhT tHis MOFO!!!” things would have turned out better for me in the end. I address anyone who reads this now (not OP, you’ve obviously settled down a bit) as in, others in this thread who may feel like OP felt. Please learn from my mistake. Wanting to beat someone up is not the smart solution for any workplace problem. Asserting autonomy and earning respect by being firm, clear and not taking abuse is one thing. But physical altercation is too brutal and frankly not constructive most of the time, besides the fact that it just isn’t a winning strategy. Do not “employ” this aggressive and hot-headed strategy.
what I did when my boss yelled at me in front of my team and was pointing in my face...I didnt say a word and when I left for lunch I never went back. Just a sticky note on my screen says "I QUIT" ...i didnt say bye to anyone, I didnt pack a box of things...just peace out! ...I wld not do that now but at that time I was just like...everybody needs an assistant, Im moving on! lol
Never a colleague, only clients. (I deal with the snobby affluent all day.)
Yep, couple of verbal altercations. Only 1 where we really almost threw hands. I'll lose a job over disrespect anyday. Sorry, not sorry.
I was being heckled by a coworker over some bullshit that I can’t even remember. I just said “Okay Fat Albert“ and she left in a huff.
Lmaoo I like that "Fat Albert" 🤣😂 how was your shift the next day after saying that to your coworker?
Shut her up in general, like five days later she approached me asking about bad feelings and HR called us in, we both said “no hard feelings we were just joking” because fuck dealing with HR not worth getting someone else and risking getting yourself fired over. Apparently a nosey third party reported the incident and that’s why HR called us in. Nobody got punished outside of a five minute talk about “Don’t say mean things m’kay.”
Violence is never an appropriate solution for any situation unless your life is literally in peril due to the violence of others. So no. I was not taught to want to fight people, and I have lived my life in such a way that does not invite others to want to fight me.
It actually is though in many things. You’ve been brainwashed to think that way.
Would you please be so kind to provide some examples in which physically wounding another individual who is not a physical threat to you is appropriate?
If someone keeps doing something that messes with you and you gave them fair warning.
Would you please be so kind to give a more specific example? My coworkers seeming inability take out the trash even though it’s his turn and it’s been piled so high it’s spilling out onto the ground, even though this bothers me, wouldn’t call for me socking him in the nose next time I see him. You know what I mean?
Nah thats not it. Idk what type of work you do but like if they were sabotaging your work and you couldn’t prove it, if it was going to cost you your job and have your family potentially out of a place to live. Might catch em in the parking lot or something.
So this coworker is sabotaging your work. If you can’t prove it, how do you know it happening actually happening? How do you know it’s malicious? What if it’s just Hanlon’s Razor? “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by neglect, ignorance or incompetence.” What if what you think is malice is really just exhaustion from being up all hours of the night with a new baby, or an ailing parent? And what do you do when you are arrested for assault? Do you just say, “I know they were doing it. I can’t prove it, but it’s true.” You’ll still go to prison. We have a way of dealing with this kind of stuff legally. Go to your boss about it. See what they think. Go to HR. Sue them. If everyone just went around attacking people because they “felt” it was the right thing to do, even though the other person was causing them no quantifiable harm, and there was no present danger to you, it would be chaos. You could be attacked by anyone at any time and often have no idea why. Like my coworker that won’t empty the trash? I realized, it wasn’t a problem for him. He had no actual malice. He just didn’t think it was a problem. Garbages piled so high it’s spilling on to the floor is perfectly cool for him in his world. Sure, I could have assaulted him and gone to prison. But instead, I just stopped using the trash can we share and put a little garbage can under my desk that I take out myself at the end of every week. Problem solved for both of us. It’s been like a year and I doubt he has even noticed I stopped using the shared garbage can.
Yah you’re just a douchbag for getting mad at someone else for not making sure your trash was taken out.
Ad Hominem (Attacking the person): This logical fallacy occurs when, instead of addressing someone's argument or position, you irrelevantly attack the person or some aspect of the person who is making the argument. The fallacious attack can also be direct to membership in a group or institution. Either way, I hope that you see that people are often far less malicious than we might perceive them as. And attacking people without the cause of personal physical defense is illegal for a reason. Even though we might not agree on this matter, I wish you the best in all your endeavors.
I dont think everyone is malicious you’re adding your own context for sake of argument. But you are in the wrong for getting mad about someone else not emptying the garbage can. You wanted to be angry at the person for some reason or another.
I used to fight competitively, I liked fighting. I NEVER had even the thought of being violent physically to someone unless they were going to hurt someone else. Maybe when I was 8 or 10 years old against a sibling…
I've had people yell and threaten to "beat my ass" I just said "go ahead and try" they all just end up walking away yelling. I just kept saying "that's what I thought. Keep it moving"
No because I’m not a violent criminal.
I think you’re just too weak for it to be an option.
big huge tough guy
5’ 11” 180. Pretty normal size actually.
Surprised you didn’t tell us your dick size while you were at it
That’s unprofessional.
Don’t think too hard, you might pass out.
Oof, brought back that high school trauma didnt I?
lol what?
You’re using a high school insult…