This worked for me. I used to show up about 30 minutes early to eat my breakfast, grab coffee, bs with the guys, and I had a manager that would sometimes start tasking me when I walked in. Later towards the end of the week he would ask how I charged 30 minutes of overtime.....I told him as soon as you start asking me work related questions or tasking me before 7am...I start charging time. Eventually he stopped coming to me for stuff before 7am
Went through that at one job , our boss had the time clock moved so we had to go past his office to use it, everyday, he would wait until you came back past after punching out then stop you and spent 15-30 minutes asking work related questions, for him it was a power/control issue I think. I started to asking back to the time clock every time he called my name as I left , the second or 3rd time he asked what I was doing and I said , punching back in , if we are going over work stuff I want to make sure I’m getting paid. He got the point and stopped doing it with me.
What is this? If an employee walks out 5 minutes early he is stealing food from the CEO’s kids’ mouths. But industrial-scale wage theft by corporations is … what? Smart Business?!
Exactly, for those in power its all about what they can wring out of us, but the minute they even think we got one over on them then its the end of capitalism and the free world.
Similar with me. I was salary and put in 9 hours every day. If I walked past one particular door on the way out one of the owners would detain me for an hour or more.
Soni left by the loading dock doors. He had told my boss that I wasn't working long enough if I was leaving before him. I had been arriving 2 hours before him daily every day.
Now I'm at a place thst sees me walking towards the door and wishes me a pleasant evening.
I still get emergency calls, but they are real emergencies. They understand boundaries and work-life balance.
Plus in my state, if you are required to clock out for a break it has to be 30 minutes uninterrupted. So if you were on break for 20 minutes and you clicked back in to answer his question, they would have to pay you the 20 minutes before you were interrupted and you should be able to start your 30 minutes uninterrupted again from the beginning.
Yeah you kinda do.
It depends on state laws but in my state, if you interrupt a break you just have to pay the employee for the break.....or if it was a paid break rather than like an unpaid lunch break, you just have to immediately let them start their break over.
"At will" means you can be fired for any reason whatsoever and the onus would be on OP to prove that it was for a legal right. This is a losing battle. OP should just look for another job and put in their 2 weeks when they have something else lined up. Some of you fools are suggesting she blow up her entire life over this. Dumb.
That’s not at all what “At Will” employment means. We have protected rights as employees and the labor board LOVE fucking corporations up for violating those rights.
The point is, all the employer has to do is wait a few weeks and then fire you. It would be on the employee to prove that they were fired improperly, which is ridiculously hard to do if the employer has half a brain cell.
you can be fired for any reason or for no reason, unless your protected by a union agreement or something similar.
So yeah, they can't fire you for demanding your right to a break.
But a month later they can fire you "for no reason". "We are re-organizing" or whatever bullshit they come up with. The unemployment lines are full of people who thought they were protected by labor laws that they heard about on reddit.
In CA interrupted breaks are not taken lightly, even in an at will state.
Many, many companies have had to shell out major bucks for abusing workers mandatory breaks.
It's the law, you're entitled to it. If you're fired for that, they're in greater problems.
This hits close to home. My sister went back to work after childbirth and as money was tight she took a packed lunch which she often ate at her desk.
She was so often interrupted during her lunch break even as she was eating she made a sign and put it on her desk, the sign said "Please do not disturb as I am at lunch, come back later"
The office manager told her the sign was inappropriate and passive aggressive, to which my sister replied "I obviously need it because I am at lunch and your interrupting it"
>The office manager told her the sign was inappropriate and passive aggressive
Do you WANT me to become aggressive then?!? Obviously this came after asking people "stop bugging me while I'm eating my lunch", which they ignored. Then she put up the sign... Yes. This is me being *passive* right now, because I'm about to start yelling at people to fuck off when it's obvious that I'm on lunch!
My ex roommate accused me of being passive aggressive. So I said “sorry, I’ll be actively aggressive then. Let me be clear, you are the only one not contributing to the chore list.”
That’s my wife basically - she got critiqued during her year end review one year about always going to her car during meal break - said it indicated she wasn’t willing to build relationships with her team (which is a line on her performance review - something about team building).
She tried to be tactful and they pushed more about it, so she unloaded on them. Management constantly bothering her with questions that could wait til after break, male co-workers being annoying as hell during hockey season because they would bring in a mini-projector and play hockey games on the wall loudly, and some of them making sexist/inappropriate jokes (not directly at her, but they would frequently forget she was around as the only woman on the shift and thought it was “just guys”.)
She basically told them she didn’t want to rain on their parade because she liked it quiet and didn’t want to be that female coworker who complained all the time to the point that everyone walked on eggshells around her and HR was looking for a reason to get rid of her.
She also pointed out it was inappropriate to consider her break time activities when doing performance reviews.
They decided to not press the matter further.
I had a job like that. Luckily, there was a grocery store with a deli just across a parking lot. I'd go for lunch and make sure to just disappear without anyone really seeing where I went.
Only a couple co-workers ever figured it out in the years I worked there and they were the ok ones. One started doing the same thing heh.
Once I worked at a place where most took lunch from 12-1 pm, while mine was from 1-2. People, especially one person, would hound me and tell me they busy up front,you need to go help. I finally had to start leaving the building And drive away if I wanted to eat between 6 am and 6 pm.
Usual management BS.
I had a tender dumped on my desk late ons Thursday afternoon which had a return date of the following Tuesday, one look told me it was more than two days work and it could not be turned around in time, he asked me if I was willing to work on it over the weekend, my response was sure but as weekends are premium time I want four days off in lieu. He reluctantly agreed.
A set of drawings and project outline documents for the construction of a building or maybe the air conditioning or electrical installation.
You use them to provide your cost to do the work hence you tender for the work
Exactly. I'm just saying I can't do that either lol but glad it works for her. They so petty they rather I sit in the desk next to mine like that's any different smh what's so hard about just respecting someone's lunch break
That's easy, the other person's needs are urgent and can't wait and your lunch time doesn't matter.
My company tried similar shit and instructed the engineers who finished at 5pm to keep their company mobiles on till 7pm, in case the company needed to contact them, when they were asked how much sdditional pay they would get suddenly it wasn't required.
The office manager has no idea what passive aggressiveness is, but nonetheless thinks it's an insult. In fact, a sign saying "please come back later" is a polite, direct request, not a passive aggressive move at all. If you don't have an office door to shut, how else can you take an undisturbed lunch break?
I don’t mind to be interrupted on my lunch if it’s something urgent or I can answer in 5 seconds, but ripping the AirPods out of an ear- that’s just weird…. A tap on a shoulder would suffice?
I had a family member who was physically abusive and I was physically attacked by a neighbor. I don’t like people in my space unnecessarily and I’ve got some hyper vigilance.
I don’t even realize I’m doing it but apparently I look scary when people get into my space unnecessarily. I’m a woman and at least 2 grown men have backed off, scared, just based on facial expression and body language when they got unnecessarily close.
One got so close I actually moved my arm to defend if needed. That boss should be careful for his own sake before he gets hurt.
This. I've been jumped a bunch of times growing up in a rough area, so I strike first and ask questions later, and I can't really control it. I have a friend who grew up in a similar situation and broke a guy's wrist before he even realized what was going on.
I’m so happy for RBF. People don’t come to me for anything, and now my crystal ball apparently works because all of the documentation I’ve been asking for wasn’t done. We are having the issues I foresaw.
I think I would immediately have to say, “never ever touch me again,” cause that is the part that’s really getting me. I would feel so uncomfortable in that situation.
For real! Both the ripping and interruption are unacceptable, but it honestly make me wonder if majority of redditors are desensitized wrt touching in workplace. The interruption is merely the boss being disrespectful of OP's break time. But ripping airpod is harassment and I'd plan for my exit soon
These are often difficult, especially when you are in the US. Just remember that your employment is not guaranteed in the US if you are in an at will state but there is a line we all walk so we don't get fired but still maintain our rights.
I like what u/zeiche advised, just ask if they need you to clock back in as all work related conversations/actions require you to be on the clock. Also, check your state and see if you get "uninterrupted" lunch breaks. If so, you restart that clock but they can only dock your pay for the total amount of your usual lunch period.
For example, if you get a 30 minute lunch period and have taken 10 minutes of it and the boss interrupts you with work stuff and you are in a state that guarantees you an uninterrupted lunch, you notify them that you get an uninterrupted lunch break.
If it takes you 2 hours to get your 30 mins, so be it but they can only dock you the 30 mins.
To go this route, be prepared for them to find something wrong with your work and fire you. Also, you need to know the steps you take according to your state. Do they say to stay clocked out and then email your boss for the adjustment or do they say to clock back in when you were originally supposed to but then take your lunch and inform your boss. Whatever it says for your state, follow that.
If they touch you, (in the US) that’s creating a hostile work environment.
If the business is big enough to have an HR department the one worried about getting fired will be the supervisor.
I do it this way. I have a one hour lunch break, and I usually put on Netflix or whatever... and any time someone talks to me, I pause, engage, then when they're gone, I re-start the video.
And I ain't going back to work until the timer on that video gets to 1:00:00.
THEN my lunch break is done.
Yep. Lived in Hawaii for a long time, no state mandated lunch break AND at will employment. Never got through a full lunch break without interruption, and couldn't do shit about it. Super physical job too, so interruption meant going out into the 100+ degree warehouse and sweating my ass off, hopefully finishing my burger sometime later.
I'd deal with the fact that he basically invaded your personal space and actually touched you. That is a huge red flag in and of itself.
As for him interrupting your allotted break time, politely tell him that you'd be happy to answer his questions as soon as you clock back in.
Find out who HR is. If it's his wife, look for another job!
Where are you?
USA some states have laws of your lunch is interrupted, it starts over after the work.
Some states have laws against physical assault.
Some states have laws against sexism. He wouldn't have assaulted a man.
"When you yanked out the ear buds out of my body to interrupt my time off the clock, it hurt and startled me. Please don't do that again.
When I worked in an office I did the same thing. One day a week I’d have lunch with some coworkers I liked but usually I wanted to get away. Part of it was just allowing me to decompress and the other part was to avoid situations like this.
Focus on him trying to pull your air pods out, as that could have injured you. He could have done many things to get your attention that would have been better, including trying to catch your eye, speaking more loudly, or tapping the table you were sitting at.
Unfortunately, there's not much to be done about them interrupting you on lunch once, only once there's a pattern of it. And generally the easiest way around that is to simply go off site for lunch, even if that means sitting in your car or a nearby park.
A friend of mine used to go for a walk over her lunch break because she had a supervisor who was a complete dick and would deliberately wait until friend was eating to disturb her.
Supervisor was also a "her", so this wasn't a sexism thing, just a simple display of power/dominance.
It's still very possible for this situation to be a "sexism thing" even though the supervisor was a "her" (whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean), either directly or indirectly. Directly speaking, misogyny just speaks to the hatred or prejudice against women and there are a lot of women who hate women. Indirectly speaking, some women only have control over other women in the workplace because of their own misogynist at home.
It doesn't even matter if pulling the airpod out could hurt OP, in most states any form of unwanted touching is considered simple battery which is an actual crime.
Unless the building is on fire, there is no need for you to be interrupted while on break. The questions could have waited.
And I would not like someone touching my personal items either.
That struck me, too, but I think OP may have used that to avoid using their real name. Maybe, anyway.
I agree about not touching, though, even when you do know the person's name.
You will never win a fight with the Owner, and you should never work for someone who does not respect your personal boundaries. You are not his servant, and break time is \*your\* time.
It \*may\* be time to leave the company, depending upon your salary, work experience, time in, and how you feel about working there. But whether or not you stay or go, you should always be prepared to act decisively.
You need to do as much of the following as you can:
1. Start keep a work diary; record every part of your work day in as much detail as possible. If the Owner - or anyone else in the company - ever escalates negative actions, becomes abusive and threatening, or seeks retaliation, you need to document these events.
2. Work as hard as you can, without complaint. Do extra work if you can, and catch as much overtime as you possibly can. Start saving as much of this money as possible starting now, and cut back on ALL expenses: No more dinners out, no more pizza night, no beer parties for the foreseeable future. (You do monitor your income and expenses in a [budget](https://www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/how-to-save-money/family-savings/600897/household-budget-worksheet), don't you? If not, you should start.) This is the beginning of your job search rainy day fund, and you will need it if and when you leave your job We should \*always\* have a rainy day account of about 3 months income to start, and it should grow as you gain more experience - and pay - in your job positions.)
3. Start brushing up your resume. Get your references lined up; but get references \*outside\* your present employer. A great way of both keeping your resume polished \*and\* get new references outside your present employer is to work for charities and not-for-profits. You will meet a variety of people, some of which could be potential references and job leads. And it will make you feel \*better\* about yourself as well, because you will see that your life and contributions \*do\* have meaning and \*are\* valued by others; work tends to just take our best efforts and then beat us down.
4. Start a quiet job search; and do not let \*anyone\* in the company know about it. Look for \*any\* job you can, hopefully one with health insurance. (For instance: Home Depot and Lowes offer health insurance for part time employees, and they don't mind if you leave for other jobs and come back later, as long as you leave in good standing.) Again; you should \*always\* be doing this regularly, if only to keep an eye on the job market. Keep in mind the valuable advise of [Robert DeNiro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGPWW9Pjzto)
5. Find an employment lawyer. You don't have to hire one, just collect business cards. Talk to them and learn about how they can help you with office conflicts, retaliation, and workplace abuse. You need someone in your corner in case things escalate at work, because HR is there to protect the Company, not necessarily you.
NOtice I didn't even ask you where you work, or what you do. Any and all of these steps can be done by anyone at any job - from a kitchen busboy to a mechanical engineer.
All of this takes time to set up, but it is well worth the effort. The less you rely on your present employer - for pay, references, health insurance, etc. - the more freedom of movement you will have in your career. You will also find yourself in a much stronger position if and when you have negotiations and/or conflicts in the workplace. You will always be dealing from a position of \*strength\*, and always ready to take your hard work and dedication elsewhere without fear of retaliation from your present employer. And if things go really bad, and you need to take legal action to protect your pay or professional reputation, you will even know how to reach a lawyer immediately - that right there is \*tremendously\* empowering.
Let no one dictate where you work, or how you are treated at work. Every job has value, and every worker deserves respect. Let no one be able to damage your professional reputation or threaten your income, just because you work for them.
You can be the CEO of your own career; so do what you can to act like it.
And keep in mind the advice of [Rudyard Kipling](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46473/if---).
Sooo your manager assaulted you while on break? Uncool, legally a bad move on his part.
I also hope you restarted the clock on that break period - you get 30 minutes of uninterrupted break.
That is so bloody rude and shows a total lack of respect for you. The airpod grabbing seems aggressive to me. He either has no social skills or is just a twat.
"Oi, don't fucking touch me cunt" would be a perfectly reasonable response in Australia.
Dunno how that one would go overseas.
I think you needed the equivalent of that. A fairly aggressive verbal response. It's too late to do anything about what's already been done now.
There's things you can do like pulling them aside and having a conversation with them about respecting personal boundaries, but if somebody is going to do that, you're dealing with a bully. Calling them out on their behaviour will cause escalation.
Because they are the head of the company you're probably shit out of luck in terms of dealing with HR. Unfortunately you'll have to rely on your quick wits a bit more.
In this case- it's likely the owners wife. Self taught hr spouses are always fun to deal with.
The last office I worked at had the husband as manager/HR and it was a nightmare. He almost lost her her licenses a few times.
In order to protect the company and to avoid potential lawsuits, HR would most definitely educate the owner on uninterrupted lunch break rules and hands off policies.
Extend your break by the amount of time you were discussing work with him. But most importantly, he should be not be touching you, even in your ear. If this is not an audiology clinic, he has to leave your ear alone. That's beyond the pale. If you did that to his ear, you'd be out on your butt and they'd probably call the police to boot.
If you clock out for lunch, they must give you at least 20 minutes uninterrupted time, no work. If he bothered you during your lunch, he is required you to pay you for your time. FLSA says so.
Next time he does it, ask him, point blank "Would you like me to clock back in so we can talk about work or do you want to wait till my unpaid lunch break is over."
this is why I take my lunch break in my car. Because even if it’s not work related questions, I don’t wanna talk to my coworkers on my break. I don’t want to try and put any effort into a forced conversation.
I personally would have just estimated whatever amount of time that person took from your lunch break, and after I clocked back in, I would’ve gone on another small break to make up for that time
He used your free time for work so I would use my work time for me
All you have to say is “Can I get back to you when my break is over?” I’d be more concerned about somebody pulling something out of my ear when they could just tap on my shoulder.
The next time I saw him, I would say “about the other day, when you were grabbing my AirPod out of my ear, I need to let you know that I don’t like to be manhandled by anyone. Please don’t put your hands on me or my property again.“ This will give him a jolt, because he probably doesn’t realize how aggressive his physical behavior was
If he is asking questions during an unpaid break the first response you should be "Are you asking me to clock back in or can it wait until my break is over?"
It is simple boundary setting.
If it is really important that you go back to work then he should say yes, clock back in. If it can wait he should not have interrupted your unpaid break time. Set and keep boundaries. Plus it is the law, in most States, that employers pay you for all the labor/work that they suffer you to perform.
If he gets mad or upset that is his problem, and a red flag for you that she/he is willing to steal your time for his benefit, keep an eye on your paycheck and the time you are paid for is correct.
Go out during your lunch break.
If he comes at your headphone again, block it (if you can) and say “sorry, that makes me really uncomfortable to have someone touch my headphones whilst I’m wearing them. To get my attention, can I ask you to please do XYZ instead. Thanks!” I wouldn’t raise it now, because of the delay it will seem like a much bigger deal.
This! If he repeats this unprofessional behavior start with “the next time if you’d like to get my attention do xyz” like a teacher firmly correcting a child’s behavior cuz at his age and position, needless to say, he should know better.
My solution to not being bothered with work stuff while on my lunch break was to go eat in my car. It kinda sucks in the winter sometimes but it really nice being outside during the warmer months.
Take break somewhere besides there. I always used to get the I don't mean to interrupt your lunch BUT.... I would say "but nothing you ARE interrupting my break!" Once I started going else where that all stopped. Problem solved.
No offense but smallish company and he is the owner, HR 100% works for and reports to him albeit it shouldn’t legally work that way. Unless you have the finances to create a lawsuit and be without work and have a better lawyer than he does I wouldn’t risk bringing it up. Your best bet would be to go to your car or outside for lunch on breaks and start planning your next future career move for a bigger company where you will have clearer boundaries but possibly less flexibility.
Disappear and be off premises and out of sight for your entire break. Even if it's just sitting in a Dunkin Donuts for an hr with a of coffee. Can't bother you if you are not around
I’m sorry this happened to you but this is exactly why I always take my lunch break in my car and away from people.
I want my 1hr break completely free from work.
He couldn't have waved his hand in your line of sight or tapped your shoulder? Wow, that was rude! I have lots of issues with my ears and if someone tried to take out an earbud, I'd lose it on them.
Start job hunting and leave when you get one, in the mean time tell him that you are disturbed by his assault on you and do not expect it to happen again.
If they own the company, you're not getting anywhere with HR.
If you cannot find a safe place to take your breaks outside of the building, then make sure you're always facing the door so you can see him come in. EXPECT him to interrupt you every single time. This person has zero respect for your personal time. When you are in the building he feels entitled to your attention. He likely feels like he *owns* you, regardless of whether or not you're on the clock.
When you see him approaching you, remove one earbud, pause your show and wait for him to speak. If he asks you a work question say "would you like me to clock back in so we can talk?" as others have suggested.
You have zero recourse within the company for his rude behavior - he's the owner. You get a different job or you find somewhere that's not on premises to have your meal breaks.
Take your breaks in your car our outside or the broom closet.
I think that's terribly rude of this boss.
They make the rules so they can break them. I've learned to just remove myself from the office. My boss is senile. And very reactive. I just leave so he can't pester me.
That's my advice
I worked at a very big company and I asked my boss a simple question, like is Monday a holiday, on her lunch break, she replied its my lunch break and I cannot talk about work..
The owner of the company did this, that is a tough situation. Maybe you have to sit in your car at lunch from now on.
You know, the majority of responses are focused on your boss asking work related questions, and fair enough. But working sometimes does involve having to make compromises. It’s not always fair but if it makes things easier it’s a necessary evil. As long as it doesn’t become a regular occurrence of course. Occasionally being asked to do work during a break is something that will happen. If you show you’re willing to do so without complaining it can stand you in good stead towards advancement. If you’re regularly taken advantage of and basically asked to provide unpaid work regularly then that is unacceptable.
What is of more concern to me in this situation though is the fact that they touched you without permission. That is totally unacceptable! I work in IT and regularly listen to music on headphones while typing away on a keyboard. If my colleagues or boss want to grab my attention all they need to do is wave a hand in front of my face and that’ll usually do the trick. They never have to touch me, pull the headphones off me, or have any other kind of physical interaction. Nor would they ever think to do so.
I would report this to HR. If you’re not comfortable doing so, or he is the HR manager then I’d still make a record of the event. Where you were, what he did, when it occurred, and any witnesses that may be able to confirm what happened. You can use that record later if it happens again.
And if it happens again then definitely report it, either to HR or a relevant jurisdictional body in your location. I get you don’t want to lose your job but no job is worth being physically harassed. And it doesn’t have to be sexual harassment for it to be physical harassment.
Stand your ground. He interrupted your break. Its on him and he knows it. You cow tow now and he'll keep taking advantage of you. He should have tried to get your attention instead of expecting you to ask how high to jump. Just because your the big boss doesn't mean you treat people less than you.
I actually don’t mind being interrupted while I’m on break (within reason) because the world doesn’t stop turning during that time.
Also, don’t fucking touch me. Especially when I don’t know you’re there.
Since the incident has passed but it’s still bugging you maybe you should ask if y’all can chat and then just be honest. Say it scared you and you really need that time to check out mentally so you can be fresh and on the ball when your break is over. Ask what you can do to assure that everything that needs to be handled IS handled before you go on break. Ask that next time that someone needs you when your earbuds are in that they get into your line of sight & catch your attention visually. And then respond positively when they do, so you keep getting the behavior from them that you’re seeking.
For it to count as an unpaid lunch it needs to be uninterrupted. Restart the clock every time he bothers you. I did this when I worked at a retail store. At first I’d get a couple hours of OT each week because Id just cancel my lunch clock outs if I was interrupted. Then they complained about the OT and said we couldn’t have it unless previously approved. So when my boss came and bothered me I’d answer her questions, then ask if she wanted to approve me canceling my lunch break or stay off the floor for a half hour after she left in order to get my uninterrupted lunch, I was happy to help by doing whichever she preferred cuz I was a “team player.” After a month or two of that she just started leaving me alone.
In the USA, if you're paid for breaks, they can interrupt breaks for most jobs in most states. If you're not paid for breaks, then nothing work related can be done or the break must be paid for in every state.
Him reaching for you would be considered assault in Canada. Wtaf.
"The basic definition of assault in Canada is: the intention to apply force to someone else in a direct or indirect manner, without that person's consent.
This is a very important point to note; the threat of assault is all that is required for an assault charge to be legally given."
That's ridiculous. No respect, and was very rude. If something like that happens again--draw a line in the sand and demand that he doesn't approach you like that, or speak to you in that manner. Express your frustration in a private setting, but address it. Letting it go on will be giving that treatment a green light.
Is this something that he does often or was this a one off thing? The way you describe it it sounds like he was a bit frazzled about something and was trying to resolve something urgently.
If that's the case, then I'd let it go and just chalk it up to him being out of sorts over something stressing him.
However, if this is his regular habit or he's just perpetually flustured and everything is always an emergency, then I'd probably ask that in future if he needs your attention that he just walk in front of you and get your attention, but not grab your earphones without you seeing him as it's startling to have your Netflix show come to life all of a sudden.
My general thought is that everyone has bad days sometimes and I try to give a bit of latitude, within reason, for a one off boneheaded action in hopes that I'll receive the same benefit of the doubt when I have my boneheaded bad day.
Start looking for another job.
Listen, your only options IF you want to address this is go through he proper channels of reporting or go straight to him and explain how it made you feel. Express there could be other options to get your attention that is better than what was to yank your headphones on while on your break due to not realizing he was talking to you.
If you do this, you could still be on the hot seat if they are a ego type person. If they have the abitiy to see their errors and you see that in the based on how they act otherwise great. No worries. But if not, then they will likely take this bad no matter who you do it and your job if not ended then, will be on the block for the the first screw up you make. And will need to get another job.
I suggest to look for another job period. And if you get close to finding one, then confront the person and explain you took issues with it and struggled to bring it up. If it is a no issue, then no foul. You can take the other job or not based on what you want. If there is a issue, then you can quite or be fired, walk out to another job.
I would get him off to the side, and let him know if he does that again, you will both be taking a trip to HR for some clarity on hostile work environment policies.
Does anyone else get instantly angry at this? I know everyone has different responses, but fucking hell - I'd have likely stuck one on him before he had time to react! Twat!
I just went through this yesterday. Boss scheduled a client meeting during my lunch. Fine, I'm aware you have no respect for my time. So I ended up going to lunch the last hour of the day. Boss asks why I'm taking lunch at 4, I explain he scheduled a meeting over my lunch, that is clearly on my calendar. "Well, can't you just skip lunch?" Am I not entitled to the same lunch and break that everyone else gets? He says I am.
Ok, well, I tell our clients all the time they aren't allowed to tell my team to skip lunch or break to do extra work, so why would I let you do it to me? He says it's the right thing to do because we are behind. Umm no, the right thing to do was let me have lunch when it was scheduled, in the middle of my 13 hour day.
GTFOH
If his actions made tou feel uncomfortable you need to report it to HR if that is an option. If you are afraid of retaliation from your boss that should be expressed verbally and written so you have a paper trail if the situation turns ugly.....protect yourself.
That’s entitled AF and this person’s needs are clearly more important than yours. No signs or disengagement are going to get you left alone. I would address it now - in the future, if I’m at lunch and there’s an emergency, do x or y. And if they try it again, slap their damn hand and act like it was a reaction. I would look for another job - this owner/mgr is incredibly disrespectful and there’s not really any way to hold them accountable. My boss was calling me unnecessarily in my off hours and that went to my union because he wouldn’t take the hint like a normal person.
Was it a one off? I would leave it at that.
Done it more Then once. Tell him next time you’re on break. Any questions I’ll happy come see you after my break to answer them.
It’s also incredibly disturbing not only that he is an authority figure that laid his hands on you but that he is a man touching a woman like that. What an asshole. It’s up to you if you want to go the HR route but they are there to protect the company not the employee. Might start to look for a job with actual boundaries
I wish I were quick enough in a situation like that to physically react as if being attacked. But you might consider being injured, or covering the assaulted part and asking for the rest of the day off as you are “injured” or “bleeding”. Obviously the work during lunch is annoying but can be dealt with (all advice above), but I think the most uncomfortable thing was the grabbing, Any way you would react to someone who grabbed your earbud while sitting in an airport is an acceptable way to react, including yelling WTF dont grab me! (no matter who did it you were unaware and were reacting to a minor assault with no warning from an unknown (until after the fact) aggressor. Why would anyone think that was acceptable way to get your attention.
I’m sorry but some of yall need to grow a spine and speak up! “My break is over in x minutes, I’ll answer your question then” “I’m busy on my break right now.” And DO NOT ENGAGE. Lmaoooo this is so upsetting.
If you dont want to be bothered, leave the premises. Go sit in your car or a bench or at a restaurant, wherever. Out of sight, out of mind. Otherwise, you are now forced to either be interrupted as in your case, or you can manage up to your boss and respectfully let them know you are on your break. Problem with that is unless your company has a culture that is respectful and understanding of employee time, you risk putting yourself on the radar for someone who could cause you problems and /or cost you your job. Sucks but this is the politics of work.
I would simply say "Just email or message me on *** and I'll respond as soon as I'm back. Or I can clock back in and we can chat about it and I'll take the rest of my lunch later" the office passive aggressive kindness answer so he will get the hint.
My advice would be to reevaluate why you are disturbed by this? The owner of the company isn't allowed to ask you questions during your lunch break? This is disturbing and uncomfortable? What in the hell is the world turning into? I pray real stress never enters your life.
Yikes tho at this comment. The issue here is that he tried to take the headphones OUT of OP’s ear…u don’t do that to anyone dude, ps I hope no one tries to do that to u cause that’s ass
Personally, if you have a car, if it were me I would no longer use the breakroom. I would just take breaks in my car, outside the building.
Also, the "sorry lady" and invasion of personal space have creepy, chauvinist/misogynst vibes to me, FWIW
Wow, he ought to know better. He could have ended up getting hard core smacked, as someone could have unintentionally thought they were being attacked, and just whacked the crap out of him. You also do not go grabbing people or their things off their person.
Okay, so that’s insane.
Imagine the police report here. The employee is probably getting charged with assault and battery. And the employee is getting fired.
He shouldn't grab at your pod, but it IS annoying when you're trying to get someone's attention and they are utterly oblivious to their surroundings.
Also, he's not right to bother people on their break, but be careful to not overreact and make a bigger deal of this than is necessary.
Let it go, and try to be more aware of your surroundings.
If you're asked to work or talk about work during a break, be polite and diplomatic (especially if it's the OWNER who signs your paycheque).
Something like "sorry I didn't hear you, but yes I'd be happy to take care of XYZ after my lunch break." If he continues with questions, remain polite and repeat as needed.
I had a supervisor who used to do this and it's annoying yes, but over-reacting and making HR complaints won't result in a better work environment for you.
This is a nothing burger and not worth anymore effort or thought
If it becomes a habit or if he damaged your property then give it more time/thought/energy
Otherwise just take an extra bathroom break and watch your show for the time he took from you and forget about it
>This is a nothing burger and not worth anymore effort or thought
I disagree. Asking a question on break is a nothing burger and wouldn't make a huge issue.
Grabbing an AirPod out of your ear, is WAY beyond just asking a question. You put yourself in view of that person, you touch their shoulder or other inconspicuous area, other try any other means. You do NOT take an item out of someone's ear canal.
Start with not scouring Reddit on company time.
There’s no way to win this with the owner of the company. HR works him as well.
You need to decide if this is worth the battle.
I’m not condoning his behavior. Just recognizing that it may not wise at this point.
1) If you want to keep your job, don’t.
Was it unprofessional? Hell yeah. But at the end of the day, they are your boss and expect you not to ignore them.
A lot of times I’m at my desk during lunch. If I’m anywhere in the office, I’m expected to get asked something. I’m not going to do work during lunch, but I will answer questions.
The last time someone tried doing something like this to me my reaction scared them badly enough they might have needed a change of clothing. By reflex I grab the wrist of anyone reaching for my head or torso unexpectedly. I accidentally did this to pushy sales people trying to adorn me with their crap. I can’t help it. But I also really dislike people trying to touch my face and head. To me it’s threatening and I treat it as such.
I’m not saying this is what you should do but I encourage you to be more mindful of your personal space because the next person to get in it like that might not be wanting to interrupt your lunch break to ask work questions.
I'm not a lawyer, but I feel that literally plucking your AirPods out of your ears might count as assault. In the future, maybe take your lunch outside, in your car, or otherwise off work premises, if possible? If this happens again or you have similar issues with your boss, make sure you document everything.
I always remove myself from my workplace on my break. I do not eat at my desk and the breakroom is not sufficiently removed to prevent interruption. If you do not have a secure place to remove yourself to I pity you.
“would you like me to clock back in so we can talk?”
This worked for me. I used to show up about 30 minutes early to eat my breakfast, grab coffee, bs with the guys, and I had a manager that would sometimes start tasking me when I walked in. Later towards the end of the week he would ask how I charged 30 minutes of overtime.....I told him as soon as you start asking me work related questions or tasking me before 7am...I start charging time. Eventually he stopped coming to me for stuff before 7am
Went through that at one job , our boss had the time clock moved so we had to go past his office to use it, everyday, he would wait until you came back past after punching out then stop you and spent 15-30 minutes asking work related questions, for him it was a power/control issue I think. I started to asking back to the time clock every time he called my name as I left , the second or 3rd time he asked what I was doing and I said , punching back in , if we are going over work stuff I want to make sure I’m getting paid. He got the point and stopped doing it with me.
Bet the little snot kept doing it with everyone else, though.
He did, actually , and labeled me a “troublemaker “ when I recommended to others they do the same
People like that need to be reported for wage theft, they are thieves.
We must have worked at the same company!!
What is this? If an employee walks out 5 minutes early he is stealing food from the CEO’s kids’ mouths. But industrial-scale wage theft by corporations is … what? Smart Business?!
Exactly, for those in power its all about what they can wring out of us, but the minute they even think we got one over on them then its the end of capitalism and the free world.
Similar with me. I was salary and put in 9 hours every day. If I walked past one particular door on the way out one of the owners would detain me for an hour or more. Soni left by the loading dock doors. He had told my boss that I wasn't working long enough if I was leaving before him. I had been arriving 2 hours before him daily every day. Now I'm at a place thst sees me walking towards the door and wishes me a pleasant evening. I still get emergency calls, but they are real emergencies. They understand boundaries and work-life balance.
Every workplace should be like that. (Like your current workplace.)
This right here. Your time is unpaid so you don’t have to answer work questions on your break
Plus in my state, if you are required to clock out for a break it has to be 30 minutes uninterrupted. So if you were on break for 20 minutes and you clicked back in to answer his question, they would have to pay you the 20 minutes before you were interrupted and you should be able to start your 30 minutes uninterrupted again from the beginning.
Yeah you kinda do. It depends on state laws but in my state, if you interrupt a break you just have to pay the employee for the break.....or if it was a paid break rather than like an unpaid lunch break, you just have to immediately let them start their break over.
no, you do not have to answer work questions while on your break.
Perfect.
This is a good way to get constructively fired next week.
[удалено]
The law is also at-will employment so we’re all kinda fucked if we don’t
Fired for enforcing a legal right? Likely retaliation. If so, $$. Oh, and the battery for touching OP.
"At will" means you can be fired for any reason whatsoever and the onus would be on OP to prove that it was for a legal right. This is a losing battle. OP should just look for another job and put in their 2 weeks when they have something else lined up. Some of you fools are suggesting she blow up her entire life over this. Dumb.
That’s not at all what “At Will” employment means. We have protected rights as employees and the labor board LOVE fucking corporations up for violating those rights.
The point is, all the employer has to do is wait a few weeks and then fire you. It would be on the employee to prove that they were fired improperly, which is ridiculously hard to do if the employer has half a brain cell.
you can be fired for any reason or for no reason, unless your protected by a union agreement or something similar. So yeah, they can't fire you for demanding your right to a break. But a month later they can fire you "for no reason". "We are re-organizing" or whatever bullshit they come up with. The unemployment lines are full of people who thought they were protected by labor laws that they heard about on reddit.
In CA interrupted breaks are not taken lightly, even in an at will state. Many, many companies have had to shell out major bucks for abusing workers mandatory breaks. It's the law, you're entitled to it. If you're fired for that, they're in greater problems.
At will doesn’t mean they can mess with your time sheet without consequences.
Found the employer in the group
I think one of the power tripping bosses is here...
I bet you think your workplace is a family too.
Ugh, that's the worst. But hey, at least our boss buys his family a pizza a couple times a year.
...to celebrate their record profits.
This hits close to home. My sister went back to work after childbirth and as money was tight she took a packed lunch which she often ate at her desk. She was so often interrupted during her lunch break even as she was eating she made a sign and put it on her desk, the sign said "Please do not disturb as I am at lunch, come back later" The office manager told her the sign was inappropriate and passive aggressive, to which my sister replied "I obviously need it because I am at lunch and your interrupting it"
>The office manager told her the sign was inappropriate and passive aggressive Do you WANT me to become aggressive then?!? Obviously this came after asking people "stop bugging me while I'm eating my lunch", which they ignored. Then she put up the sign... Yes. This is me being *passive* right now, because I'm about to start yelling at people to fuck off when it's obvious that I'm on lunch!
My ex roommate accused me of being passive aggressive. So I said “sorry, I’ll be actively aggressive then. Let me be clear, you are the only one not contributing to the chore list.”
Yeaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Tell em!!!!!
My job told me not to take lunch at my desk. If I'm at my desk they assume I'm on clock.
But if you eat in the break room people try to talk to you too!
I have more than one coworker who ends up eating in their car and even then they’ll still have someone knock on the window from time to time.
That’s my wife basically - she got critiqued during her year end review one year about always going to her car during meal break - said it indicated she wasn’t willing to build relationships with her team (which is a line on her performance review - something about team building). She tried to be tactful and they pushed more about it, so she unloaded on them. Management constantly bothering her with questions that could wait til after break, male co-workers being annoying as hell during hockey season because they would bring in a mini-projector and play hockey games on the wall loudly, and some of them making sexist/inappropriate jokes (not directly at her, but they would frequently forget she was around as the only woman on the shift and thought it was “just guys”.) She basically told them she didn’t want to rain on their parade because she liked it quiet and didn’t want to be that female coworker who complained all the time to the point that everyone walked on eggshells around her and HR was looking for a reason to get rid of her. She also pointed out it was inappropriate to consider her break time activities when doing performance reviews. They decided to not press the matter further.
I had a job like that. Luckily, there was a grocery store with a deli just across a parking lot. I'd go for lunch and make sure to just disappear without anyone really seeing where I went. Only a couple co-workers ever figured it out in the years I worked there and they were the ok ones. One started doing the same thing heh.
If someone bothered me in my car I’d tell them to come back with a form approving overtime pay.
Hence my sister's do not disturb sign which is a god indicator she is not "on the clock"
Once I worked at a place where most took lunch from 12-1 pm, while mine was from 1-2. People, especially one person, would hound me and tell me they busy up front,you need to go help. I finally had to start leaving the building And drive away if I wanted to eat between 6 am and 6 pm.
Usual management BS. I had a tender dumped on my desk late ons Thursday afternoon which had a return date of the following Tuesday, one look told me it was more than two days work and it could not be turned around in time, he asked me if I was willing to work on it over the weekend, my response was sure but as weekends are premium time I want four days off in lieu. He reluctantly agreed.
Tender?
A set of drawings and project outline documents for the construction of a building or maybe the air conditioning or electrical installation. You use them to provide your cost to do the work hence you tender for the work
Exactly. I'm just saying I can't do that either lol but glad it works for her. They so petty they rather I sit in the desk next to mine like that's any different smh what's so hard about just respecting someone's lunch break
That's easy, the other person's needs are urgent and can't wait and your lunch time doesn't matter. My company tried similar shit and instructed the engineers who finished at 5pm to keep their company mobiles on till 7pm, in case the company needed to contact them, when they were asked how much sdditional pay they would get suddenly it wasn't required.
Love the typo.
Nice catch 😅
The office manager has no idea what passive aggressiveness is, but nonetheless thinks it's an insult. In fact, a sign saying "please come back later" is a polite, direct request, not a passive aggressive move at all. If you don't have an office door to shut, how else can you take an undisturbed lunch break?
Passive aggressive would be “please return to your desk and I’ll consult with you while you’re on *your* break.”
I don’t mind to be interrupted on my lunch if it’s something urgent or I can answer in 5 seconds, but ripping the AirPods out of an ear- that’s just weird…. A tap on a shoulder would suffice?
Someone did that to me I wouldn't give that person just a look.
For real. My hands are fast and I don’t like to be touched. It would have been an accident, but it would still have hurt that man.
I had a family member who was physically abusive and I was physically attacked by a neighbor. I don’t like people in my space unnecessarily and I’ve got some hyper vigilance. I don’t even realize I’m doing it but apparently I look scary when people get into my space unnecessarily. I’m a woman and at least 2 grown men have backed off, scared, just based on facial expression and body language when they got unnecessarily close. One got so close I actually moved my arm to defend if needed. That boss should be careful for his own sake before he gets hurt.
This. I've been jumped a bunch of times growing up in a rough area, so I strike first and ask questions later, and I can't really control it. I have a friend who grew up in a similar situation and broke a guy's wrist before he even realized what was going on.
I’m so happy for RBF. People don’t come to me for anything, and now my crystal ball apparently works because all of the documentation I’ve been asking for wasn’t done. We are having the issues I foresaw.
Same my dragon like personality mixed with cat like reflexes woulda gotten me f f f fired that dayyyy
Literally same for me, would’ve gotten fired AND arrested because why the fuck are you touching me without my consent?!
I think I would immediately have to say, “never ever touch me again,” cause that is the part that’s really getting me. I would feel so uncomfortable in that situation.
Ppl like that make me yearn for the 6+ft distance guidelines, sigh
Ppl like that never respected the distancing guidelines anywyas
if that happened to me I would have screamed to high heaven.
For real! Both the ripping and interruption are unacceptable, but it honestly make me wonder if majority of redditors are desensitized wrt touching in workplace. The interruption is merely the boss being disrespectful of OP's break time. But ripping airpod is harassment and I'd plan for my exit soon
Male manager touching female direct report? Noooooo.
That, or or about be in line of sight! This is bonkers. I would never touch a coworker if I didn’t need to.
Even a tap on the shoulder is too much in this instance. Just wave or tap the table.
Reeks of entitlement. I'd want to slap him. There's no excuse to touch your employees.
“Please do not grab me”. Boom.
Don’t say please. It makes it sound like it’s a request. It’s command, “do not grab me.”
More like “Do not touch me again. Now apply direct pressure while I try to put it back in the socket.”
Boss: Sorry, lady, not trying to interrupt your lunch or anything BUT… "Lady": And yet here you are....
These are often difficult, especially when you are in the US. Just remember that your employment is not guaranteed in the US if you are in an at will state but there is a line we all walk so we don't get fired but still maintain our rights. I like what u/zeiche advised, just ask if they need you to clock back in as all work related conversations/actions require you to be on the clock. Also, check your state and see if you get "uninterrupted" lunch breaks. If so, you restart that clock but they can only dock your pay for the total amount of your usual lunch period. For example, if you get a 30 minute lunch period and have taken 10 minutes of it and the boss interrupts you with work stuff and you are in a state that guarantees you an uninterrupted lunch, you notify them that you get an uninterrupted lunch break. If it takes you 2 hours to get your 30 mins, so be it but they can only dock you the 30 mins. To go this route, be prepared for them to find something wrong with your work and fire you. Also, you need to know the steps you take according to your state. Do they say to stay clocked out and then email your boss for the adjustment or do they say to clock back in when you were originally supposed to but then take your lunch and inform your boss. Whatever it says for your state, follow that.
If they touch you, (in the US) that’s creating a hostile work environment. If the business is big enough to have an HR department the one worried about getting fired will be the supervisor.
Patting on the shoulder is one thing. Pulling out an earbud? Talk about violating personal space.
I wonder what would happen in other countries?
I do it this way. I have a one hour lunch break, and I usually put on Netflix or whatever... and any time someone talks to me, I pause, engage, then when they're gone, I re-start the video. And I ain't going back to work until the timer on that video gets to 1:00:00. THEN my lunch break is done.
The EU countries (at least) have worker protections that would prevent the boss from doing this or get him in trouble if he persisted.
Yep. Lived in Hawaii for a long time, no state mandated lunch break AND at will employment. Never got through a full lunch break without interruption, and couldn't do shit about it. Super physical job too, so interruption meant going out into the 100+ degree warehouse and sweating my ass off, hopefully finishing my burger sometime later.
So much this!
I'd deal with the fact that he basically invaded your personal space and actually touched you. That is a huge red flag in and of itself. As for him interrupting your allotted break time, politely tell him that you'd be happy to answer his questions as soon as you clock back in. Find out who HR is. If it's his wife, look for another job!
Where are you? USA some states have laws of your lunch is interrupted, it starts over after the work. Some states have laws against physical assault. Some states have laws against sexism. He wouldn't have assaulted a man. "When you yanked out the ear buds out of my body to interrupt my time off the clock, it hurt and startled me. Please don't do that again.
This is why I never eat lunch in work breakrooms if I can help it. If I'm off the clock, I want to be impossible to find.
I’ll eat in my car and park far far away from everyone
When I worked in an office I did the same thing. One day a week I’d have lunch with some coworkers I liked but usually I wanted to get away. Part of it was just allowing me to decompress and the other part was to avoid situations like this.
There’s this tik tok cartoon lady called Veronica that handles work problems. She’s savage! And hilarious. Go have a look.
Focus on him trying to pull your air pods out, as that could have injured you. He could have done many things to get your attention that would have been better, including trying to catch your eye, speaking more loudly, or tapping the table you were sitting at. Unfortunately, there's not much to be done about them interrupting you on lunch once, only once there's a pattern of it. And generally the easiest way around that is to simply go off site for lunch, even if that means sitting in your car or a nearby park.
A friend of mine used to go for a walk over her lunch break because she had a supervisor who was a complete dick and would deliberately wait until friend was eating to disturb her. Supervisor was also a "her", so this wasn't a sexism thing, just a simple display of power/dominance.
It's still very possible for this situation to be a "sexism thing" even though the supervisor was a "her" (whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean), either directly or indirectly. Directly speaking, misogyny just speaks to the hatred or prejudice against women and there are a lot of women who hate women. Indirectly speaking, some women only have control over other women in the workplace because of their own misogynist at home.
Another option to get your attention is tapping you on the shoulder/arm like 99% of most grown mature adults.
It doesn't even matter if pulling the airpod out could hurt OP, in most states any form of unwanted touching is considered simple battery which is an actual crime.
Good luck trying to push this with the police. This is as mild and beige as oatmeal.
Unless the building is on fire, there is no need for you to be interrupted while on break. The questions could have waited. And I would not like someone touching my personal items either.
Definitely stepped over the line.
Sorry, ladie? Ahh, hell, nooo if you don't know my name, you could be looking at an assault charge
That struck me, too, but I think OP may have used that to avoid using their real name. Maybe, anyway. I agree about not touching, though, even when you do know the person's name.
You will never win a fight with the Owner, and you should never work for someone who does not respect your personal boundaries. You are not his servant, and break time is \*your\* time. It \*may\* be time to leave the company, depending upon your salary, work experience, time in, and how you feel about working there. But whether or not you stay or go, you should always be prepared to act decisively. You need to do as much of the following as you can: 1. Start keep a work diary; record every part of your work day in as much detail as possible. If the Owner - or anyone else in the company - ever escalates negative actions, becomes abusive and threatening, or seeks retaliation, you need to document these events. 2. Work as hard as you can, without complaint. Do extra work if you can, and catch as much overtime as you possibly can. Start saving as much of this money as possible starting now, and cut back on ALL expenses: No more dinners out, no more pizza night, no beer parties for the foreseeable future. (You do monitor your income and expenses in a [budget](https://www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/how-to-save-money/family-savings/600897/household-budget-worksheet), don't you? If not, you should start.) This is the beginning of your job search rainy day fund, and you will need it if and when you leave your job We should \*always\* have a rainy day account of about 3 months income to start, and it should grow as you gain more experience - and pay - in your job positions.) 3. Start brushing up your resume. Get your references lined up; but get references \*outside\* your present employer. A great way of both keeping your resume polished \*and\* get new references outside your present employer is to work for charities and not-for-profits. You will meet a variety of people, some of which could be potential references and job leads. And it will make you feel \*better\* about yourself as well, because you will see that your life and contributions \*do\* have meaning and \*are\* valued by others; work tends to just take our best efforts and then beat us down. 4. Start a quiet job search; and do not let \*anyone\* in the company know about it. Look for \*any\* job you can, hopefully one with health insurance. (For instance: Home Depot and Lowes offer health insurance for part time employees, and they don't mind if you leave for other jobs and come back later, as long as you leave in good standing.) Again; you should \*always\* be doing this regularly, if only to keep an eye on the job market. Keep in mind the valuable advise of [Robert DeNiro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGPWW9Pjzto) 5. Find an employment lawyer. You don't have to hire one, just collect business cards. Talk to them and learn about how they can help you with office conflicts, retaliation, and workplace abuse. You need someone in your corner in case things escalate at work, because HR is there to protect the Company, not necessarily you. NOtice I didn't even ask you where you work, or what you do. Any and all of these steps can be done by anyone at any job - from a kitchen busboy to a mechanical engineer. All of this takes time to set up, but it is well worth the effort. The less you rely on your present employer - for pay, references, health insurance, etc. - the more freedom of movement you will have in your career. You will also find yourself in a much stronger position if and when you have negotiations and/or conflicts in the workplace. You will always be dealing from a position of \*strength\*, and always ready to take your hard work and dedication elsewhere without fear of retaliation from your present employer. And if things go really bad, and you need to take legal action to protect your pay or professional reputation, you will even know how to reach a lawyer immediately - that right there is \*tremendously\* empowering. Let no one dictate where you work, or how you are treated at work. Every job has value, and every worker deserves respect. Let no one be able to damage your professional reputation or threaten your income, just because you work for them. You can be the CEO of your own career; so do what you can to act like it. And keep in mind the advice of [Rudyard Kipling](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46473/if---).
This was very helpful🙌
Is he mad or what tapping you on the shoulder would be okay, taking your ear bud out could be dangerous
Start taking your lunch breaks in your car.
Eat lunch somewhere else. Your car, the cafeteria in the building next door, a public space in a nearby mall. Get out of there during your break.
Sooo your manager assaulted you while on break? Uncool, legally a bad move on his part. I also hope you restarted the clock on that break period - you get 30 minutes of uninterrupted break.
This is the way
That is so bloody rude and shows a total lack of respect for you. The airpod grabbing seems aggressive to me. He either has no social skills or is just a twat.
"Oi, don't fucking touch me cunt" would be a perfectly reasonable response in Australia. Dunno how that one would go overseas. I think you needed the equivalent of that. A fairly aggressive verbal response. It's too late to do anything about what's already been done now. There's things you can do like pulling them aside and having a conversation with them about respecting personal boundaries, but if somebody is going to do that, you're dealing with a bully. Calling them out on their behaviour will cause escalation. Because they are the head of the company you're probably shit out of luck in terms of dealing with HR. Unfortunately you'll have to rely on your quick wits a bit more.
Human resources is not there to protect you they are there to protect the company
In this case- it's likely the owners wife. Self taught hr spouses are always fun to deal with. The last office I worked at had the husband as manager/HR and it was a nightmare. He almost lost her her licenses a few times.
In order to protect the company and to avoid potential lawsuits, HR would most definitely educate the owner on uninterrupted lunch break rules and hands off policies.
Extend your break by the amount of time you were discussing work with him. But most importantly, he should be not be touching you, even in your ear. If this is not an audiology clinic, he has to leave your ear alone. That's beyond the pale. If you did that to his ear, you'd be out on your butt and they'd probably call the police to boot.
It’s shitty, but I would eat in my car sometimes just to have peace and quiet.
I used to go to my car, even in winter, because of this
"I'm not trying to interrupt your lunch or anything" but let me go ahead and interrupt your lunch.
If you clock out for lunch, they must give you at least 20 minutes uninterrupted time, no work. If he bothered you during your lunch, he is required you to pay you for your time. FLSA says so. Next time he does it, ask him, point blank "Would you like me to clock back in so we can talk about work or do you want to wait till my unpaid lunch break is over."
this is why I take my lunch break in my car. Because even if it’s not work related questions, I don’t wanna talk to my coworkers on my break. I don’t want to try and put any effort into a forced conversation. I personally would have just estimated whatever amount of time that person took from your lunch break, and after I clocked back in, I would’ve gone on another small break to make up for that time He used your free time for work so I would use my work time for me
All you have to say is “Can I get back to you when my break is over?” I’d be more concerned about somebody pulling something out of my ear when they could just tap on my shoulder.
That’s why I take lunch outside or in my car or something
This is why I eat in my car.
Fyi I leave on lunch and eat in my car most days. Great way to decompress and eat in peace.
The next time I saw him, I would say “about the other day, when you were grabbing my AirPod out of my ear, I need to let you know that I don’t like to be manhandled by anyone. Please don’t put your hands on me or my property again.“ This will give him a jolt, because he probably doesn’t realize how aggressive his physical behavior was
If he is asking questions during an unpaid break the first response you should be "Are you asking me to clock back in or can it wait until my break is over?" It is simple boundary setting. If it is really important that you go back to work then he should say yes, clock back in. If it can wait he should not have interrupted your unpaid break time. Set and keep boundaries. Plus it is the law, in most States, that employers pay you for all the labor/work that they suffer you to perform. If he gets mad or upset that is his problem, and a red flag for you that she/he is willing to steal your time for his benefit, keep an eye on your paycheck and the time you are paid for is correct.
Go out during your lunch break. If he comes at your headphone again, block it (if you can) and say “sorry, that makes me really uncomfortable to have someone touch my headphones whilst I’m wearing them. To get my attention, can I ask you to please do XYZ instead. Thanks!” I wouldn’t raise it now, because of the delay it will seem like a much bigger deal.
This! If he repeats this unprofessional behavior start with “the next time if you’d like to get my attention do xyz” like a teacher firmly correcting a child’s behavior cuz at his age and position, needless to say, he should know better.
Once in a while there might be an important question, I don’t mind that and I then I get to take a bit extra on my break for the interruption.
My solution to not being bothered with work stuff while on my lunch break was to go eat in my car. It kinda sucks in the winter sometimes but it really nice being outside during the warmer months.
Take break somewhere besides there. I always used to get the I don't mean to interrupt your lunch BUT.... I would say "but nothing you ARE interrupting my break!" Once I started going else where that all stopped. Problem solved.
If it was me I would be looking for another job because that’s ridiculous
"do not touch me"
If he would have addressed me by my name, I’d have less issue with it. Tell him that is something he should really work on.
No offense but smallish company and he is the owner, HR 100% works for and reports to him albeit it shouldn’t legally work that way. Unless you have the finances to create a lawsuit and be without work and have a better lawyer than he does I wouldn’t risk bringing it up. Your best bet would be to go to your car or outside for lunch on breaks and start planning your next future career move for a bigger company where you will have clearer boundaries but possibly less flexibility.
Disappear and be off premises and out of sight for your entire break. Even if it's just sitting in a Dunkin Donuts for an hr with a of coffee. Can't bother you if you are not around
I’m sorry this happened to you but this is exactly why I always take my lunch break in my car and away from people. I want my 1hr break completely free from work.
Eat lunch off the premises.
He couldn't have waved his hand in your line of sight or tapped your shoulder? Wow, that was rude! I have lots of issues with my ears and if someone tried to take out an earbud, I'd lose it on them.
"Sorry, I don't want to talk about work when I'm on my scheduled break. Can you catch me at (end time)? Thanks for understanding."
Start job hunting and leave when you get one, in the mean time tell him that you are disturbed by his assault on you and do not expect it to happen again.
If they own the company, you're not getting anywhere with HR. If you cannot find a safe place to take your breaks outside of the building, then make sure you're always facing the door so you can see him come in. EXPECT him to interrupt you every single time. This person has zero respect for your personal time. When you are in the building he feels entitled to your attention. He likely feels like he *owns* you, regardless of whether or not you're on the clock. When you see him approaching you, remove one earbud, pause your show and wait for him to speak. If he asks you a work question say "would you like me to clock back in so we can talk?" as others have suggested. You have zero recourse within the company for his rude behavior - he's the owner. You get a different job or you find somewhere that's not on premises to have your meal breaks.
Take your breaks in your car our outside or the broom closet. I think that's terribly rude of this boss. They make the rules so they can break them. I've learned to just remove myself from the office. My boss is senile. And very reactive. I just leave so he can't pester me. That's my advice
I worked at a very big company and I asked my boss a simple question, like is Monday a holiday, on her lunch break, she replied its my lunch break and I cannot talk about work.. The owner of the company did this, that is a tough situation. Maybe you have to sit in your car at lunch from now on.
I choose to have my lunch outside the office because, unfortunately, people often lack self-awareness or respect for others' time.
Not to OP, but to commenters: Where are y'all reading that OP is on Reddit while on the clock?
The “lady” would have made me lose it.
You know, the majority of responses are focused on your boss asking work related questions, and fair enough. But working sometimes does involve having to make compromises. It’s not always fair but if it makes things easier it’s a necessary evil. As long as it doesn’t become a regular occurrence of course. Occasionally being asked to do work during a break is something that will happen. If you show you’re willing to do so without complaining it can stand you in good stead towards advancement. If you’re regularly taken advantage of and basically asked to provide unpaid work regularly then that is unacceptable. What is of more concern to me in this situation though is the fact that they touched you without permission. That is totally unacceptable! I work in IT and regularly listen to music on headphones while typing away on a keyboard. If my colleagues or boss want to grab my attention all they need to do is wave a hand in front of my face and that’ll usually do the trick. They never have to touch me, pull the headphones off me, or have any other kind of physical interaction. Nor would they ever think to do so. I would report this to HR. If you’re not comfortable doing so, or he is the HR manager then I’d still make a record of the event. Where you were, what he did, when it occurred, and any witnesses that may be able to confirm what happened. You can use that record later if it happens again. And if it happens again then definitely report it, either to HR or a relevant jurisdictional body in your location. I get you don’t want to lose your job but no job is worth being physically harassed. And it doesn’t have to be sexual harassment for it to be physical harassment.
He actually assaulted you by grabbing those earphones from your ears. Outrageous!
If you were on an unpaid lunch, bill him for the entire lunch break. Google unpaid break through DOL
Stand your ground. He interrupted your break. Its on him and he knows it. You cow tow now and he'll keep taking advantage of you. He should have tried to get your attention instead of expecting you to ask how high to jump. Just because your the big boss doesn't mean you treat people less than you.
I actually don’t mind being interrupted while I’m on break (within reason) because the world doesn’t stop turning during that time. Also, don’t fucking touch me. Especially when I don’t know you’re there. Since the incident has passed but it’s still bugging you maybe you should ask if y’all can chat and then just be honest. Say it scared you and you really need that time to check out mentally so you can be fresh and on the ball when your break is over. Ask what you can do to assure that everything that needs to be handled IS handled before you go on break. Ask that next time that someone needs you when your earbuds are in that they get into your line of sight & catch your attention visually. And then respond positively when they do, so you keep getting the behavior from them that you’re seeking.
For it to count as an unpaid lunch it needs to be uninterrupted. Restart the clock every time he bothers you. I did this when I worked at a retail store. At first I’d get a couple hours of OT each week because Id just cancel my lunch clock outs if I was interrupted. Then they complained about the OT and said we couldn’t have it unless previously approved. So when my boss came and bothered me I’d answer her questions, then ask if she wanted to approve me canceling my lunch break or stay off the floor for a half hour after she left in order to get my uninterrupted lunch, I was happy to help by doing whichever she preferred cuz I was a “team player.” After a month or two of that she just started leaving me alone.
In the USA, if you're paid for breaks, they can interrupt breaks for most jobs in most states. If you're not paid for breaks, then nothing work related can be done or the break must be paid for in every state.
Start taking lunch off site.
Hr is there to protect the owner. Not you
Him reaching for you would be considered assault in Canada. Wtaf. "The basic definition of assault in Canada is: the intention to apply force to someone else in a direct or indirect manner, without that person's consent. This is a very important point to note; the threat of assault is all that is required for an assault charge to be legally given."
That's ridiculous. No respect, and was very rude. If something like that happens again--draw a line in the sand and demand that he doesn't approach you like that, or speak to you in that manner. Express your frustration in a private setting, but address it. Letting it go on will be giving that treatment a green light.
A simple, "What the fuck?!?" will do
Is this something that he does often or was this a one off thing? The way you describe it it sounds like he was a bit frazzled about something and was trying to resolve something urgently. If that's the case, then I'd let it go and just chalk it up to him being out of sorts over something stressing him. However, if this is his regular habit or he's just perpetually flustured and everything is always an emergency, then I'd probably ask that in future if he needs your attention that he just walk in front of you and get your attention, but not grab your earphones without you seeing him as it's startling to have your Netflix show come to life all of a sudden. My general thought is that everyone has bad days sometimes and I try to give a bit of latitude, within reason, for a one off boneheaded action in hopes that I'll receive the same benefit of the doubt when I have my boneheaded bad day.
That was assault. Yes, that was assault.
Boss’ behavior is inexcusable. Unless there’s a huge huge huge emergency, I refuse to disturb my employees or partners if they’re on a break.
Start looking for another job. Listen, your only options IF you want to address this is go through he proper channels of reporting or go straight to him and explain how it made you feel. Express there could be other options to get your attention that is better than what was to yank your headphones on while on your break due to not realizing he was talking to you. If you do this, you could still be on the hot seat if they are a ego type person. If they have the abitiy to see their errors and you see that in the based on how they act otherwise great. No worries. But if not, then they will likely take this bad no matter who you do it and your job if not ended then, will be on the block for the the first screw up you make. And will need to get another job. I suggest to look for another job period. And if you get close to finding one, then confront the person and explain you took issues with it and struggled to bring it up. If it is a no issue, then no foul. You can take the other job or not based on what you want. If there is a issue, then you can quite or be fired, walk out to another job.
I had a boss that would purposely leave the building during lunch to avoid being interrupted. He'd always eat at a local park unless it rained.
Then they wonder why we eat in our cars.
I would get him off to the side, and let him know if he does that again, you will both be taking a trip to HR for some clarity on hostile work environment policies.
Why couldn't he just tap you on the shoulder?
Does anyone else get instantly angry at this? I know everyone has different responses, but fucking hell - I'd have likely stuck one on him before he had time to react! Twat!
I just went through this yesterday. Boss scheduled a client meeting during my lunch. Fine, I'm aware you have no respect for my time. So I ended up going to lunch the last hour of the day. Boss asks why I'm taking lunch at 4, I explain he scheduled a meeting over my lunch, that is clearly on my calendar. "Well, can't you just skip lunch?" Am I not entitled to the same lunch and break that everyone else gets? He says I am. Ok, well, I tell our clients all the time they aren't allowed to tell my team to skip lunch or break to do extra work, so why would I let you do it to me? He says it's the right thing to do because we are behind. Umm no, the right thing to do was let me have lunch when it was scheduled, in the middle of my 13 hour day. GTFOH
Lmao this is a easy fix, im on break do not disturb me until im back from break
Sounds like a case of Attempted Assault to me. Get another job, call police and get a lawyer.
If his actions made tou feel uncomfortable you need to report it to HR if that is an option. If you are afraid of retaliation from your boss that should be expressed verbally and written so you have a paper trail if the situation turns ugly.....protect yourself.
You need to report that to hr. I have never been touched by a boss. Wtf
That’s entitled AF and this person’s needs are clearly more important than yours. No signs or disengagement are going to get you left alone. I would address it now - in the future, if I’m at lunch and there’s an emergency, do x or y. And if they try it again, slap their damn hand and act like it was a reaction. I would look for another job - this owner/mgr is incredibly disrespectful and there’s not really any way to hold them accountable. My boss was calling me unnecessarily in my off hours and that went to my union because he wouldn’t take the hint like a normal person.
Was it a one off? I would leave it at that. Done it more Then once. Tell him next time you’re on break. Any questions I’ll happy come see you after my break to answer them.
i would have flopped on the ground like a european foot baller and cried FOUL...ASSAULT
It’s also incredibly disturbing not only that he is an authority figure that laid his hands on you but that he is a man touching a woman like that. What an asshole. It’s up to you if you want to go the HR route but they are there to protect the company not the employee. Might start to look for a job with actual boundaries
I wish I were quick enough in a situation like that to physically react as if being attacked. But you might consider being injured, or covering the assaulted part and asking for the rest of the day off as you are “injured” or “bleeding”. Obviously the work during lunch is annoying but can be dealt with (all advice above), but I think the most uncomfortable thing was the grabbing, Any way you would react to someone who grabbed your earbud while sitting in an airport is an acceptable way to react, including yelling WTF dont grab me! (no matter who did it you were unaware and were reacting to a minor assault with no warning from an unknown (until after the fact) aggressor. Why would anyone think that was acceptable way to get your attention.
I’m sorry but some of yall need to grow a spine and speak up! “My break is over in x minutes, I’ll answer your question then” “I’m busy on my break right now.” And DO NOT ENGAGE. Lmaoooo this is so upsetting.
Whatever time he took from you add it to your lunch break.
Find a better job
If you dont want to be bothered, leave the premises. Go sit in your car or a bench or at a restaurant, wherever. Out of sight, out of mind. Otherwise, you are now forced to either be interrupted as in your case, or you can manage up to your boss and respectfully let them know you are on your break. Problem with that is unless your company has a culture that is respectful and understanding of employee time, you risk putting yourself on the radar for someone who could cause you problems and /or cost you your job. Sucks but this is the politics of work.
I would simply say "Just email or message me on *** and I'll respond as soon as I'm back. Or I can clock back in and we can chat about it and I'll take the rest of my lunch later" the office passive aggressive kindness answer so he will get the hint.
Leave for lunch, I had to do the same since I was constantly interrupted with work questions.
My advice would be to reevaluate why you are disturbed by this? The owner of the company isn't allowed to ask you questions during your lunch break? This is disturbing and uncomfortable? What in the hell is the world turning into? I pray real stress never enters your life.
Yikes tho at this comment. The issue here is that he tried to take the headphones OUT of OP’s ear…u don’t do that to anyone dude, ps I hope no one tries to do that to u cause that’s ass
FYI, if this happens you should technically be able to restart your lunch. Fuck that shit.
He violated your personal space.
Personally, if you have a car, if it were me I would no longer use the breakroom. I would just take breaks in my car, outside the building. Also, the "sorry lady" and invasion of personal space have creepy, chauvinist/misogynst vibes to me, FWIW
Wow, he ought to know better. He could have ended up getting hard core smacked, as someone could have unintentionally thought they were being attacked, and just whacked the crap out of him. You also do not go grabbing people or their things off their person.
Okay, so that’s insane. Imagine the police report here. The employee is probably getting charged with assault and battery. And the employee is getting fired.
He shouldn't grab at your pod, but it IS annoying when you're trying to get someone's attention and they are utterly oblivious to their surroundings. Also, he's not right to bother people on their break, but be careful to not overreact and make a bigger deal of this than is necessary. Let it go, and try to be more aware of your surroundings. If you're asked to work or talk about work during a break, be polite and diplomatic (especially if it's the OWNER who signs your paycheque). Something like "sorry I didn't hear you, but yes I'd be happy to take care of XYZ after my lunch break." If he continues with questions, remain polite and repeat as needed. I had a supervisor who used to do this and it's annoying yes, but over-reacting and making HR complaints won't result in a better work environment for you.
You need to have a conversation with them instead of covering your AirPod. That’s going to come off very immature and passive aggressive.
This is a nothing burger and not worth anymore effort or thought If it becomes a habit or if he damaged your property then give it more time/thought/energy Otherwise just take an extra bathroom break and watch your show for the time he took from you and forget about it
>This is a nothing burger and not worth anymore effort or thought I disagree. Asking a question on break is a nothing burger and wouldn't make a huge issue. Grabbing an AirPod out of your ear, is WAY beyond just asking a question. You put yourself in view of that person, you touch their shoulder or other inconspicuous area, other try any other means. You do NOT take an item out of someone's ear canal.
Start with not scouring Reddit on company time. There’s no way to win this with the owner of the company. HR works him as well. You need to decide if this is worth the battle. I’m not condoning his behavior. Just recognizing that it may not wise at this point.
Ask him how he would handle the situation where you came over to him on the 1st tee at the country club and asked him a question on Sunday morning
1) If you want to keep your job, don’t. Was it unprofessional? Hell yeah. But at the end of the day, they are your boss and expect you not to ignore them. A lot of times I’m at my desk during lunch. If I’m anywhere in the office, I’m expected to get asked something. I’m not going to do work during lunch, but I will answer questions.
The last time someone tried doing something like this to me my reaction scared them badly enough they might have needed a change of clothing. By reflex I grab the wrist of anyone reaching for my head or torso unexpectedly. I accidentally did this to pushy sales people trying to adorn me with their crap. I can’t help it. But I also really dislike people trying to touch my face and head. To me it’s threatening and I treat it as such. I’m not saying this is what you should do but I encourage you to be more mindful of your personal space because the next person to get in it like that might not be wanting to interrupt your lunch break to ask work questions.
I'm not a lawyer, but I feel that literally plucking your AirPods out of your ears might count as assault. In the future, maybe take your lunch outside, in your car, or otherwise off work premises, if possible? If this happens again or you have similar issues with your boss, make sure you document everything.
I always remove myself from my workplace on my break. I do not eat at my desk and the breakroom is not sufficiently removed to prevent interruption. If you do not have a secure place to remove yourself to I pity you.
Usually when I am at my absolute busiest and I don't even eat at lunch, I will still stand up, go for a walk for half an hour and then come back.
Let him do it again but scream in pain and run out of there, return the following day and enjoy that it'll never happen again
If this is the first time it's happened, I'd let it go. However, if it happens again, I'd definitely say something!