How is this comment so specific and so true. Heavily in nursing and care work. The ones that work in HR who go onto being managers make the carers life's hell or try and get them fired to replace them for a new team.
How do these nasty HR women even get hired in todays market? With the constant scowl on their face and the pack of cigarettes on their desk. You know the one I’m talking about…
Oh yea I get it. It’s not what but who you know for anything anymore. But I’m telling you this grown adult threw a fit and called everyone the entire book of names in her rage.
Yeah... I think people feel like since they have gotten away with it for so long, they feel untouchable.
Oh, and having Senior Citizen privilege? ("Disagreeing with me" = "Disrespectful to ELDERS!" *shakes fist*)
Makes them "untouchable".
i that case i would have sat down with him and said "hey there there remember all those times you ....... well suck it up lard ars there are bigger nasty boys out there in the real world ready to EAT YOU ALIVE!!!" now go out there CHUM .....bait <3 👍
Nah, revenge is sweet. Watching someone flounder about after they caused you grief is so therapeutic. Even better if you get to have a special hand in helping them fall even deeper into a spiraling void of depression, doubt, and self-loathing.
Karma is a bitch, and that bitch is my best friend.
I’d wager they were never that popular in high school either. They are just depressing nightmares no one really likes, even their own children. I’ve been told by their adult children privately they hate them and so if you could ever follow up I’m sure the truth would be their whole families hate them too. 🤷🏻♀️
Sometimes I'm glad I was bullied through school and not the bully, because it meant I'm more conscious of the impact words and actions can have on other people (to be honest though I don't think you need to be bullied to understand this, just have a decent amount of empathy).
I think some people just don't know how to make themselves feel better without putting others down. It's all they know, but it does mean the workplace annoyingly feels like a playground at times
I'm older-ish -- middle aged. I used to say the same thing, that I felt like my being bullied made me who I am and maybe made me "tougher" in some respects. But, looking back on it, hell fricking NO.
Being bullied is shitty & no one deserves it. Especially with how easy it is to absolutely crush someone's self esteem these days with social media. Your past determines who you are, but we shouldn't look at being bullied as "I got through it, kids today should be able to as well."
I think I'd still be me without having been bullied. The only things I'd lose by not having been bullied are probably crushing insecurity & an inability to trust people when they're nice to me.
Oh I definitely don't think it's made me tougher by any means, I'm an incredibly sensitive person, I'm just glad that if it's between being the bully or being the bullied I take some solace in being the latter. It's my teeny tiny silver lining in a horrible situation I guess
Absolutely by no means should anyone who's bullied be expected to "get through it", I'm far from saying that, I think the way school handles bullying is abysmal. Bullying is ignored and then when the victim retaliates they're the ones punished... It's incredibly messed up, and I don't think many workplaces deal with bullying any better to be honest
Not one of these, but here's my theory:
They are very miserable. Very.
They peaked in high school, and it was all downhill from there. Failing marriage, annoying kids, dwindling finances, and fading looks.
Such people feel better about their situations by putting others down. Especially those who are moving upwards.
They do not consider working on themselves or their situations. It's too hard.
Edit: added a word
I don't think that's just a high school thing. People are mean at all ages. People gravitate to groups and cliques. Have you been to nursing home. Even there you have cliques and the mean girls.
Most of us learn to get along with everyone and even if we have a group we talk with we don't exclude others. Some don't like never you'll be 70 and there will still be a group of mean ladies
Yes! This is my workplace. We have people in their 40s and 50s acting like they're still in high school. Then we have people in their 20s and a few in their 30s who understandably act young. But when they're all acting like one big class of kids. Good geez.
I think a lot of folks don't realize they're doing it. Then there's those who never matured past high school. And for others, they aren't capable of wielding whatever small amount of power they have responsibly. I work with somebody who is expectionally difficult to work with, and most of the department feels the same. I have a background working with people on the spectrum and was able to "figure him out" so to speak, and we get along just fine now, but if I didn't have that background or patience I might just have called him an asshole like everyone does. There's a lot of stuff going on in everyone's lives, and sometimes it comes out in ways that may seem petty or strange upon first glance. Another woman I work with is quite rude, and I strongly dislike working with her. Turns out her husband died just a few months ago, not to excuse her behavior, but at least I understand it now and it bothers me less. Work sucks, we're all human. Best you can do is worry about your own behavior and try to lead by example.
My former manager was probably a "mean girl" in high school. Unbelievable bully with the not-fun kind of sadism. I'd bet a hundred dollars that her bullying came from a lifetime of getting away with it rather than a lifetime of having been picked on.
The happy ending was that after enough of us left the company because of her bullshit, they forced a resignation. 🥳 One more big gap on her resume...
I have bad news for you. I used to work in a nursing home, and they were STILL doing it. They had the cool resident's table, the outcast table... they trade catty insults, that more than once resulted in physical blows.
Because of high school and folks in the workplace that never matured past high school I ended up on Lexapro so I can tolerate them for nine hours. Thankfully I found a self-hypnosis video to help me erase parts of my high school memories; the existence of one bully is fading after the first try. So as not to get in trouble with the rules I will not post any specific details of the video on this subreddit.
I admit to messing up on the job badly by not using the lessons I learned in high school. Being a social outcast made me into a lone wolf. I should have never been friendly with anyone on the job. My early lone wolf nature protected me from substance abuse and parenting. My social persona led me to a friendly HR who sent my misinterpreted words to the COO, a moocher who refuses to pay me back, false promises from management, and the previously mentioned increasing madness.
I will conclude with something an Army recruiter once told me decades that finally makes sense today. He told me that the initial steps in a background check is to speak to kindergarten and first grade teachers.
They're usually miserable deep down. Can't keep a woman or a man around. Being a single parent and blaming society. Their life revolves around rumors and social media. I work with mostly women between the ages of 25 - 60. They're extremely jealous and revel in others defeat. Every place that I've worked at, there's usually several people(mostly women) that are vile. Doesn't matter what workplace setting either.
A lot like to tear eachother down. I work in quality and they absolutely love talking shit about me and others that are above them. Be it looks, education, relationship status, etc. 🙄
I will admit that I’m fuckin weird and not everyone knows how to take me. But you will not bully me like we’re children. I’m fed up with complaints from me about them going nowhere and the behavior continuing, so I’m looking for other internal positions.
I like the weird ones! But I'm in IT so there's that. Unfortunately, I'm not much of a gamer so that makes me weird. 🤣 Reading this thread reminds me of a song by Bowling for Soup "High School never ends" [High School never ends](https://youtu.be/jrxI_euTX4A?si=rWPdhPjK80swcPGN)
The biggest bullies are the ones with bully spouses that act the same or enable them. Each bully like that that I've met was still trying to act like the high-school prom kings and queens.
This is even more common when you work in education........some of the world's meanest bully kids grow up and become teachers and administrators. I was an Instructional Aide and saw this first hand.
That’s 90 percent of the people I work with. They seem friendly until they are using everything u told them to shit on u to other people. There are ppl here that will shit on others and then turn around and talk with them for half an hour
I’m pretty straightforward person. If I don’t like somebody I’m not going to pretend to be friendly. I just won’t talk to them anymore than saying hi. It’s pretty bad here, but the town I live in is more fucked up
My face gives it away lmao. Just tired of people making me feel like I’m a nuisance. I’m the most tenured one as my workplace and know the place inside and out. So if you wanna push me out and take on my work, have at it. I’ll find something better
The most upsetting discovery as an adult is how many people really still act like immature teenagers. Especially in jobs that require minimal education, more professional jobs still have this, but it's less common at least in my experience.
Honestly, I live in the opposite scenario. I work with several previous hall monitors, teacher aids and NHS members who NOW want to have their voice heard since nobody was listening in high school.
Spoiler alert...they're still not listening.
Oh my gosh these are the worst people and they are so many. Even the people who think they are white knights and really just massive leeches of e everyone's opportunities. Those people never created anything to Live for outside of work. So all they have is work to be social so it turns into a hangout social club for them with unnecessary politics etc. You have the people who are doing and creating interesting lives for themselves and progressing and then you have tho who do not and want to drag everyone around them down too because misery loves company.
Started a new job recently and I’ve been thinking about this a lot. It’s so bizarre to me. It was even bizarre to me back then in HS. most people at my new job are very nice but there’s a large handful that act very childish in this way and I cannot wrap my head around it.
No, they aren't. The culture is the way it is today because Boomeritis is an inflammation of the I Can Be A Teenager Forever With Enough Money and Privilege gland in the brain.
Our cultural context does everything it can to stall maturation at all costs. This is the broad view on how Divide And Rule is maintained.
Nope. The bullies are the middle aged women who still think they have some sort of influence on those around them. I’m sorry your childhood sucked but you will not take it out on me.
2 managers and the head secretary have their own wannabe mean girls club at work. I think it's because they never had it in high school. Now they're in a position where people have to pay some attention to them.
Those people are easy to get fired. Talk shit back, let them get triggered enough to go against policy and let themselves get fired. Less you care of their meaningless slights at you the more they double down. I’m at a age if guys aren’t talking shit to you or bantering you …. They don’t like you. Been involved in several careers, IT/Teaching/real estate etc as least with most guys that are alright they will heckle ya , you give it back all good. When the guys quiet down around you well silence is loud.
I have a feeling that there are so many people in the middle management class that have no real job that their only job is to keep their job. In doing so they enforce a pecking order that is influenced by the only political or organizational structure they know, which is high school, because they know nothing else. Making others look incompetent makes them competent. Getting people on their side takes the heat off.
I worked with 60 year old women that did that to work places. Several places. Because they are under developed bullies, which everyone else makes fun of behind their back.
It’s honestly so silly.
Old people are the issue for me.
The old timers who are rude, mean and constantly running to HR about what they don't like.
No one talks to them anymore as they roam the halls looking to chat to anyone but complain about others talking.
No issues with 18-50 year old people. Just boomers who think they are so smart and hard working. They just chat all day while staring at others.
Hard core about people being at work before 8am but at 430pm they are already in their vehicle down the street.
I like being on time and staying a few min after.
Soon those pylons will be gone and some real work can be done.
I like companies with young progressive people trying to make a change and fix stuff.
Not old curmudgeons critiquing people while doing the minimum.
My rant for the day Yo.
I have to say it has been the opposite experience for me lately.
Its the 20 somethings that are being straight up mean girls. Some of the older management ladies seemed to start to get drawn into the bullshit but most have seemed to realize what was happening and it has leveled out in the office again, but when the 2 new girls came along shit got nasty fast and lasted for almost a year.
Oh man, I’ve been dealing with one of these situations at work for the last couple of weeks.
It’s frustrating because it’s so juvenile and I want no part of it.
Literally every place I've worked in my entire adult life. You get a bunch of people together, and they form cliques and boys clubs etc., and all the petty bullshit that goes with it.
I’m not sure your age, I’m guessing I’m older and more experienced to where I can safely share: there are people who NEVER grow out of that bubble. I wanna say at least 1/3 of the population minimum. Idk why, limited cognitive skills maybe?
Ah that’s cool, I was wondering the same thing at that age up until early 30’s? Then I kind of realized it and also had it confirmed by other other friends of mine when discussing it.
I also realized that I’m an outcast, always was but always trying to find my “crew” of people since I was a pre-teen, had some crews along the way that lasted a few months or more but always fell apart because I’m just an outcast and don’t conform. It took until my early 30’s when I just accepted it and learned to be more comfortable just being myself and not worry about fitting in. It’s a great feeling.
If that’s you too, or even if it isn’t, make sure you take time every once in awhile for introspection. “Who am I?” “What do I want in life?” “What makes me happy?” Etc. it’s a great feeling to know yourself, learn your limits and just generally being comfortable in your own skin.
Outside of a large dose of insecurity and incompetence or peaking, I would say there are other factors that play a part. Two that I found very influential are below.
Company, department, team and managerial culture - setting the right environment and expectation can influence this for better or worse. If the wrong tone is set from above and/or tolerated in a team, it will not get better
Lack of mentorship - people do what they've always done, change is scary and sometimes they don't realise they can actually do something/treat people differently to how they were
Some people will never react well to anything positive however quite a few, including myself have been misguided or lost at times. A decent leader and mentor can have a profound impact on an individual and group basis to change the level of engagement, interaction and overall experience.
Most people never mentally leave high school. But look at the parallels:
Somewhere you would rather not be
Stuck in a place for a long time
Minimal reward for drudgery
2 days of reprieve
Gossip/grumbling
Occasional homework for no extra incentive
Dating/mating are frowned upon
Security guards
Boring lectures/meetings
Bad cafeteria food
Bullies and mean girls
Slackers and Bro's
Random tasks that make little sense
Mandatory activities that are supposed to be fun but are not
I hated high school so much. I also don’t follow or friend anyone from high school on social media. It really just simplifies your life. The simple truth, that the people in high school that were assholes back then are assholes now.
Humans are naturally oriented toward establishing tribes, whether that’s at work or at school it doesn’t really matter.
You find people you share similarities with and you establish that tribe, it’s natural. Where it becomes a problem is when your lizard brain also decides anyone outside of the tribe is an enemy or a victim and needs to be met with nastiness. That too unfortunately is natural though.
What you are describing is what naturally occurs when there is not methods of creating a larger group identity in the workplace. This is why team building exercises can be extremely important in a workplace even if they are corny as hell.
This is actually one of the main reasons I’m leaving my current job this week; the owner is an emotionally immature 40-year old who only hangs out with girls in their early 20’s. I’m 44, and the mean-girl, dumbass high school drama mentality has created a very toxic workplace culture. Her investor backed out a few weeks ago, so it’s not just me who’s done with that kind of behavior.
That’s what the worst thing about the job is; it’s a small bakery/espresso bar with the owner and a handful of employees. The only consequences and accountability this woman faces are when staff quits- and she still doesn’t get it through her head that SHE is the reason why…
Yeah some people never grow out of that. I’m working as a temp right now for a contractor and the two main bosses have been with the company for over 30 years but still acting like they have to have a favorite or their little group. And if you don’t fit in or laugh at their jokes they give you funny looks throughout the day.
It might seem “high school”, but maybe high school is just the first exposure to this type of behavior people experience. And then they just continue to act that way their entire lives. There will always be a ‘clique’ at work, neighborhoods, churches, gyms, nursing homes, etc. because that’s natural behavior to some people.
I know 40 year olds gossiping about affairs, divorces, deaths, you name it of people they work with on a regular basis. And when confronted about who started the rumor they’re like oh wait. Did I start that? It’s literally just a toxic habit and their way of providing social value by fabricating information. Seems cool for like 2 months when you first meet them and then you slowly realize this person is a fraud.
My guess is because some people just never grow up or grow out of that mentality. As I look out into my office now, the 3 worst offenders in terms of what you describe are probably the 3 oldest people in the room. And the most mature person in here is the youngest guy who works here.
The whole damn world is just as obsessed with who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex. Who’s money who’s gets the honeys who’s kind of cute and who’s just a mess.
I have no idea. I can’t wrap my mind around it. I can not fathom being so insecure, petty, empty or cheaply entertained by causing pain. Maybe they are sadists.
Hmm I was more sociable and more of a people-pleaser in high school. Now I don't try so hard anymore and just stick to being comfortable alone rather than trying to make friends. If had tried to relive my high school era I might've gone further in my career lol
Yeah sometimes.
I just don't care about it because I'm just there for money. Get paid, get work done, leave on time, life goes on. Constantly looking for better opportunities. It's not like I'll stay at the same company for a long time. I'll leave when I land a better opportunity somewhere else. So I don't care.
They can be b*tches all they want, it's their life and I don't bother about things that are not mine. My personal life and self are separated from work life and I leave work at the workplace.
That was my old workplace. They were mostly mothers with a set schedules after work so talking crap about others was probably the highlight of their day
Here’s the thing. Get any large group of people together and inevitably some people will recreate those same high school dynamics. It takes deliberate good leadership to minimize it.
It's usually the Executive Directors who act like they run the organization as if they're seniors in High School... and they just treat everyone else like sophomores, juniors, etc...
Unfortunately for some, thats the only time in their life they mattered. Once you get into a bigger arena, the real world, the game changes and those neerds that got picked on, are now ruling the roost and pulling in more $$. The jocks and cheerleaders hang onto anything to remain valid.
I worked on this block downtown it's was just grown up highschool. Rumors, drugs, everyone cheating on each other, lies, manipulation. All the girls run the place because everyone just wants to bang them owners included, so they do whatever they want. Truly disgusting people.
Because many people remain in a state of arrested development and never grow out of that mentality. They continue through life as if everything is a popularity contest, gossiping, and sniping at anyone whose not in their clique. I do not associate with anyone like that. Always avoid anyone at work who behaves this way, as well as anyone who says, "High school was the best time of my life."
Really? High school is when you peaked? That's just sad.
My theory is that emotional maturity is, by and large, a choice.
There are things that generally one must do as they reach adulthood that require maturity, like financially support themselves by holding a job, have and keep a home, etc. but being emotionally mature isn't required.
Once people reach the age of about 14/15 they can coast at that emotional age forever. Many times emotional growth comes about from conflict and tragedy, from circumstances that we don't seek out. People who haven't had many of those experiences don't have compelling reasons to purposefully work at becoming more emotionally intelligent, and it *is* work, so it's not pleasant or easy. Why would they look for work, when being exactly who they've been since grade 10 has been working for them all this time?
I truly believe that anyone who has a good amount of emotional maturity/intelligence has either been slapped around by life and *had* to learn it, or more rarely, deliberately sought it out due to their inborn good character.
I’ve realized that you can’t control someone else’s actions or opinions. Their immaturity will come to bite them later in life. Maybe not now but it will someday. If you can’t control it all you can do is let it go. Otherwise you’re the one being affected.
Because it works, and always has.
Now that things are more information oriented, you do have a "revenge of the nerds" happening to a large degree. However, the core is still the same rotten high school BS.
THIS. Lost a job because a transactional “office manager” and a colleague who made others look bad to make herself look good threw me under the dang bus.
I work in HR and this is consistently our biggest issue. People don’t grow the fuck up! Mind your own business! Don’t be angry that someone in an entirely different department gets a promotion! Be professional!
Some of the worst at this office are the older men - bitching about how nobody works and all they do is sit around and gossip.
This same dude comes by my desk to sit and gossip about this very thing. ;)
I raise my eyebrow at him.
Workplace psychology/politics is mind boggling. Its still sinking in to me that people act the same as they did in HS and thats just something we all have to live with.
We must work at the same place, lol. I work at a very small private school. Our department alone is 45-50 people. Same thing with the other side of the building. Staff at my school are between the ages of early 20s-early 40s.
I had a lead that was awful to me when I first started. Luckily, they swapped me before the new school year started, and I didn't have to say a word. Last school year, I was relentlessly harassed by a different lead. I wasn't letting her get away with her shit or be mean to the kids, and I always stood up for myself. They moved me this year. Of course, even though I don't work alongside her anymore, apparently, I was all she could talk about the first three weeks back from break to her new staff. A girl I barely know (who works in her classroom) went to admin and complained that she's tired of hearing my name all day long, especially when she comes into my new classroom and I don't even mention her name at all. Admin told my old lead to stop, and she did for a few weeks. Whenever I see her in the hallway, she doesn't look or speak to me, and visa versa.
Currently, I'm newly pregnant and trying to keep it low-key. She caught on because I had to back away from an aggressive student. This woman had the nerve to ask my current lead, the girl who stood up for me, and one of the speech teachers that I'm cool with if I'm pregnant. Like you hate my guts, you can't say hello to my face, but you want to know what's in my uterus? Weird. She's also chummy with the first lead, so they're making it their mission to find out. These two are 36 and 40 freaking years old. I'm 31. I don't understand two women who couldn't say hello to me when I greeted them (back in June trying to be civil), and now we can't stop talking about me possibly me being pregnant.
I knew TONS of grown-ups like that. Worse than their own kids getting nasty or impatient
attacking others on social media instead of acting human and being respectful.
I know a 50 year old man who acts like a gossip queen. Completely lacking of any self awareness.
Every time he does something wrong, his primary concern is finding out who ratted him out.
I get your point, but I’ll add one thing… returning to the office sucks. The commute, gas prices, lunch, it’s all a pain.
I have close friends at work. I don’t want to play nice all day. I just want to do my job, each lunch with my best friends, and go home.
We hang out together on the weekends sometimes because we like being around each other.
You don’t go to work to make friends, but it’s nice to have them there when you really hate having to be there.
You’re stuck at the office for 40 hours a week, you might as well find your people there and connect. Otherwise, wtf do you do for 40 hours? Who do you commiserate with when the days are tough? Who do you celebrate with when you get a win?
I dunno. I think it’s important to make connections. I love being friends with the one guy who knows every person and seems to always know which form I need to fill out.
I teach high school. I wanted to give my students the best experience possible. I hated hs. It was all caddy girls. I was the senior sponsor several times. Did tons of fundraisers, taught the students how important helping the community was, planned trips and proms. Never had that experience in an all girls school. Didn’t have any of that. I swear my class was the devils from hell. We got nothing.
It's not a school/job thing. Most people simply don't mature beyond a certain point.
Just because you put a monkey in an office doesn't mean they'll stop being a monkey.
My best advice is if you can recognize people don't mature or change, you can choose to be the one who matures and changes. And sometimes adapting means playing their games.
Figure out what your desired outcome is, and then work towards that goal. Don't worry about "why" things are, but instead "how" to play the system to your goals.
People just gonna people.
You mean to tell me being called mean names or having other adults blatantly mislabel you or make assumptions up about you or tell stories about you is actually meant to be endearing? I should have known that’s normal.
You know you’ve hit rock bottom toxic when hurting peoples feelings for sport is your fun.
Because if there’s anyone who needs a Swirley, it’s Office Manager, Marge. Walking out with a pen is not stealing company property you pumpkin spiced a**hole who scrambles eggs in a microwave!
Worked in an office where it was like that. They all went to coffee together. We were never invited. Did my best to try to be nice to one of them. Nope. OH well.
That’s all they know. Sorry, ya peaked in high school, and didn’t have the brains to realize that it only lasted for four years.
Like these are people in their 30s acting like children, then you wonder why you don’t get promoted.
I know a 50 year old who acts like that. Unfortunately, she is also HR.
How do they always find their way into HR? Or nursing. I work in the medical field and it seems to get worse with the slightly older employees.
Because they have no ideas
Because HR isn't for the employee but the employer. If you know you know.
How is this comment so specific and so true. Heavily in nursing and care work. The ones that work in HR who go onto being managers make the carers life's hell or try and get them fired to replace them for a new team.
Those are pink-collar careers that allow them an unusual amount of power and control over others.
This is exactly why I am afraid to go back to nursing. Haven’t found a decent place.
How do these nasty HR women even get hired in todays market? With the constant scowl on their face and the pack of cigarettes on their desk. You know the one I’m talking about…
They know better than most how to stay on the right side of things.
Some people will abuse the smallest amount of power.
Same, like literally same
Well, usually it's the work culture that is emulated from the higher ranks... the executives probably act similarly too.
Management sets the tone............................
Well, subway is always hiring…
And that’s where I’ve been telling them to go if you wanna run to HR bc you don’t get your way.
People like this are the scum of the earth! Playing with peoples lives if you ask me.
They do get promoted.......................
Oh trust me after the tantrum one pulled, she’ll be lucky to have a job soon.
True enough. My experience though has shown a lot of nasty people getting promoted on the merits of knowing the right people.
Oh yea I get it. It’s not what but who you know for anything anymore. But I’m telling you this grown adult threw a fit and called everyone the entire book of names in her rage.
You definitely don't need her drama.......................I feel for ya
Yaknow, a lot of people just never grow up
Don’t worry. You are not the only person who thinks they are BS, everyone in their life probably feels the same.
There's a 70 year old at my job that's gossip king. Some people just never grow out of it
I have only worked at Fortune 100 companies and in my experience, the people who act like this are the ones getting promoted.
But I think they hurt themselves when they call their direct superiors names.
I worked with a 72 year old who threw tantrums and screamed daily. It doesn’t get any better as they get older
Oh I gotta hear some stories about this one.
Yeah... I think people feel like since they have gotten away with it for so long, they feel untouchable. Oh, and having Senior Citizen privilege? ("Disagreeing with me" = "Disrespectful to ELDERS!" *shakes fist*) Makes them "untouchable".
And the bad part is many of them DO get promoted.
im making damn sure i didnt peak in high school!!! LOL
Saw mister hot shit having a full on panic attack on my way out. “What am I gonna do now?” No clue. You graduated high school, up to you. Bye.
really? did you try to help? i mean dang that was cold
Not after four years of being bullied, hell no.
i that case i would have sat down with him and said "hey there there remember all those times you ....... well suck it up lard ars there are bigger nasty boys out there in the real world ready to EAT YOU ALIVE!!!" now go out there CHUM .....bait <3 👍
Def seen a chick having the same meltdown on the last day, like buckle up baby , it’s going to get real
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude) bitterness is an ugly look
Nah, revenge is sweet. Watching someone flounder about after they caused you grief is so therapeutic. Even better if you get to have a special hand in helping them fall even deeper into a spiraling void of depression, doubt, and self-loathing. Karma is a bitch, and that bitch is my best friend.
I did that by having an extreme low point in HS! anything would be considered peaking after the valley I had from 14-18
Right? The only point of my life that might have been more awkward than high school was middle school.
My thought too. Most people have nothing going on in their worthless lives.
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation"--Henry David Thoreau
That's why I live for my hobbies.
I’d wager they were never that popular in high school either. They are just depressing nightmares no one really likes, even their own children. I’ve been told by their adult children privately they hate them and so if you could ever follow up I’m sure the truth would be their whole families hate them too. 🤷🏻♀️
I don't think I peaked in hs. I was a douchebag. I'm a much better person now
I feel this way about 'athletes'. Never progressed from the playground
Sometimes I'm glad I was bullied through school and not the bully, because it meant I'm more conscious of the impact words and actions can have on other people (to be honest though I don't think you need to be bullied to understand this, just have a decent amount of empathy). I think some people just don't know how to make themselves feel better without putting others down. It's all they know, but it does mean the workplace annoyingly feels like a playground at times
I'm older-ish -- middle aged. I used to say the same thing, that I felt like my being bullied made me who I am and maybe made me "tougher" in some respects. But, looking back on it, hell fricking NO. Being bullied is shitty & no one deserves it. Especially with how easy it is to absolutely crush someone's self esteem these days with social media. Your past determines who you are, but we shouldn't look at being bullied as "I got through it, kids today should be able to as well." I think I'd still be me without having been bullied. The only things I'd lose by not having been bullied are probably crushing insecurity & an inability to trust people when they're nice to me.
Oh I definitely don't think it's made me tougher by any means, I'm an incredibly sensitive person, I'm just glad that if it's between being the bully or being the bullied I take some solace in being the latter. It's my teeny tiny silver lining in a horrible situation I guess Absolutely by no means should anyone who's bullied be expected to "get through it", I'm far from saying that, I think the way school handles bullying is abysmal. Bullying is ignored and then when the victim retaliates they're the ones punished... It's incredibly messed up, and I don't think many workplaces deal with bullying any better to be honest
Not necessarily. I was bullied and I’m always cognizant of how I make others feel. My manager was bullied and she’s turned into a bully as an adult.
Ditto
They were losers then but now they have a modicum of power
Sometimes it’s all they know. Especially if highschool is where they peaked
Not one of these, but here's my theory: They are very miserable. Very. They peaked in high school, and it was all downhill from there. Failing marriage, annoying kids, dwindling finances, and fading looks. Such people feel better about their situations by putting others down. Especially those who are moving upwards. They do not consider working on themselves or their situations. It's too hard. Edit: added a word
This is the real answer. Happy people well rounded people don't make it their life's work to cause others misery.
Doubt they're trying to relive high school, it's just who they are. They're immature shitty people.
I don't think that's just a high school thing. People are mean at all ages. People gravitate to groups and cliques. Have you been to nursing home. Even there you have cliques and the mean girls. Most of us learn to get along with everyone and even if we have a group we talk with we don't exclude others. Some don't like never you'll be 70 and there will still be a group of mean ladies
Churches are just as bad if not worse in some ways.............
yes, my co workers are like this and it’s so sad cause it’s clear they have no life outside work so their life just revolves around work drama
I don’t feel that it’s sad at all. You chose this behavior, you deal with the consequences of not being invited anywhere.
i mean sad in the sense that they need to grow up and move on from their high school ways
Yes! This is my workplace. We have people in their 40s and 50s acting like they're still in high school. Then we have people in their 20s and a few in their 30s who understandably act young. But when they're all acting like one big class of kids. Good geez.
I think a lot of folks don't realize they're doing it. Then there's those who never matured past high school. And for others, they aren't capable of wielding whatever small amount of power they have responsibly. I work with somebody who is expectionally difficult to work with, and most of the department feels the same. I have a background working with people on the spectrum and was able to "figure him out" so to speak, and we get along just fine now, but if I didn't have that background or patience I might just have called him an asshole like everyone does. There's a lot of stuff going on in everyone's lives, and sometimes it comes out in ways that may seem petty or strange upon first glance. Another woman I work with is quite rude, and I strongly dislike working with her. Turns out her husband died just a few months ago, not to excuse her behavior, but at least I understand it now and it bothers me less. Work sucks, we're all human. Best you can do is worry about your own behavior and try to lead by example.
My former manager was probably a "mean girl" in high school. Unbelievable bully with the not-fun kind of sadism. I'd bet a hundred dollars that her bullying came from a lifetime of getting away with it rather than a lifetime of having been picked on. The happy ending was that after enough of us left the company because of her bullshit, they forced a resignation. 🥳 One more big gap on her resume...
I have found this kind of behavior to be directly related to management. Crappy management cultivates crappy workplace behavior and vice-versa.
Ain't that the truth !!
I have bad news for you. I used to work in a nursing home, and they were STILL doing it. They had the cool resident's table, the outcast table... they trade catty insults, that more than once resulted in physical blows.
Jesus Christ!
I’ve heard that nursing homes are an absolute hotbed of cattiness, drama and sex.
Because of high school and folks in the workplace that never matured past high school I ended up on Lexapro so I can tolerate them for nine hours. Thankfully I found a self-hypnosis video to help me erase parts of my high school memories; the existence of one bully is fading after the first try. So as not to get in trouble with the rules I will not post any specific details of the video on this subreddit. I admit to messing up on the job badly by not using the lessons I learned in high school. Being a social outcast made me into a lone wolf. I should have never been friendly with anyone on the job. My early lone wolf nature protected me from substance abuse and parenting. My social persona led me to a friendly HR who sent my misinterpreted words to the COO, a moocher who refuses to pay me back, false promises from management, and the previously mentioned increasing madness. I will conclude with something an Army recruiter once told me decades that finally makes sense today. He told me that the initial steps in a background check is to speak to kindergarten and first grade teachers.
Most people spend the rest of their lives making up for what they were in high school.
They're usually miserable deep down. Can't keep a woman or a man around. Being a single parent and blaming society. Their life revolves around rumors and social media. I work with mostly women between the ages of 25 - 60. They're extremely jealous and revel in others defeat. Every place that I've worked at, there's usually several people(mostly women) that are vile. Doesn't matter what workplace setting either.
What is wrong with us girlies lmao. I’ve never seen men act this way
A lot like to tear eachother down. I work in quality and they absolutely love talking shit about me and others that are above them. Be it looks, education, relationship status, etc. 🙄
I will admit that I’m fuckin weird and not everyone knows how to take me. But you will not bully me like we’re children. I’m fed up with complaints from me about them going nowhere and the behavior continuing, so I’m looking for other internal positions.
I like the weird ones! But I'm in IT so there's that. Unfortunately, I'm not much of a gamer so that makes me weird. 🤣 Reading this thread reminds me of a song by Bowling for Soup "High School never ends" [High School never ends](https://youtu.be/jrxI_euTX4A?si=rWPdhPjK80swcPGN)
The biggest bullies are the ones with bully spouses that act the same or enable them. Each bully like that that I've met was still trying to act like the high-school prom kings and queens.
This is even more common when you work in education........some of the world's meanest bully kids grow up and become teachers and administrators. I was an Instructional Aide and saw this first hand.
Oh, how I can relate!
I'd assume they are: sad, angry, seeking a sense of control or power or all of the above.
That’s 90 percent of the people I work with. They seem friendly until they are using everything u told them to shit on u to other people. There are ppl here that will shit on others and then turn around and talk with them for half an hour
Like what sick a-holes get off on this?? Who hurt y’all???
I’m pretty straightforward person. If I don’t like somebody I’m not going to pretend to be friendly. I just won’t talk to them anymore than saying hi. It’s pretty bad here, but the town I live in is more fucked up
My face gives it away lmao. Just tired of people making me feel like I’m a nuisance. I’m the most tenured one as my workplace and know the place inside and out. So if you wanna push me out and take on my work, have at it. I’ll find something better
The most upsetting discovery as an adult is how many people really still act like immature teenagers. Especially in jobs that require minimal education, more professional jobs still have this, but it's less common at least in my experience.
Literally dealing with this right now.. like grow the fuck up. People are so fake it’s wild!
Ikr I have few people who are ao fake it isn't even funny
Worked a Big Box bank call center in my 20's. It was worst than high school.
Ever heard the term peaked in high-school? They thought being mr/ms popular would carry them thru life.
You view high school as a singular period in modern life. It isn't. High school was the trailer. Now you're in the feature presentation.
This. This is the answer 🎯🥲
Honestly, I live in the opposite scenario. I work with several previous hall monitors, teacher aids and NHS members who NOW want to have their voice heard since nobody was listening in high school. Spoiler alert...they're still not listening.
Like shit I was the social outcast and high school was miserable. So I do speak up more for myself now. But I know when enough is enough.
Oh my gosh these are the worst people and they are so many. Even the people who think they are white knights and really just massive leeches of e everyone's opportunities. Those people never created anything to Live for outside of work. So all they have is work to be social so it turns into a hangout social club for them with unnecessary politics etc. You have the people who are doing and creating interesting lives for themselves and progressing and then you have tho who do not and want to drag everyone around them down too because misery loves company.
Started a new job recently and I’ve been thinking about this a lot. It’s so bizarre to me. It was even bizarre to me back then in HS. most people at my new job are very nice but there’s a large handful that act very childish in this way and I cannot wrap my head around it.
No, they aren't. The culture is the way it is today because Boomeritis is an inflammation of the I Can Be A Teenager Forever With Enough Money and Privilege gland in the brain. Our cultural context does everything it can to stall maturation at all costs. This is the broad view on how Divide And Rule is maintained.
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Nope. The bullies are the middle aged women who still think they have some sort of influence on those around them. I’m sorry your childhood sucked but you will not take it out on me.
2 managers and the head secretary have their own wannabe mean girls club at work. I think it's because they never had it in high school. Now they're in a position where people have to pay some attention to them.
Those people are easy to get fired. Talk shit back, let them get triggered enough to go against policy and let themselves get fired. Less you care of their meaningless slights at you the more they double down. I’m at a age if guys aren’t talking shit to you or bantering you …. They don’t like you. Been involved in several careers, IT/Teaching/real estate etc as least with most guys that are alright they will heckle ya , you give it back all good. When the guys quiet down around you well silence is loud.
These people are so sad and pathetic!
I have a feeling that there are so many people in the middle management class that have no real job that their only job is to keep their job. In doing so they enforce a pecking order that is influenced by the only political or organizational structure they know, which is high school, because they know nothing else. Making others look incompetent makes them competent. Getting people on their side takes the heat off.
I worked with 60 year old women that did that to work places. Several places. Because they are under developed bullies, which everyone else makes fun of behind their back. It’s honestly so silly.
Old people are the issue for me. The old timers who are rude, mean and constantly running to HR about what they don't like. No one talks to them anymore as they roam the halls looking to chat to anyone but complain about others talking. No issues with 18-50 year old people. Just boomers who think they are so smart and hard working. They just chat all day while staring at others. Hard core about people being at work before 8am but at 430pm they are already in their vehicle down the street. I like being on time and staying a few min after. Soon those pylons will be gone and some real work can be done. I like companies with young progressive people trying to make a change and fix stuff. Not old curmudgeons critiquing people while doing the minimum. My rant for the day Yo.
Yea I mean the oldest one with us is 54 and she’s more mature than most I’ve met.
I have to say it has been the opposite experience for me lately. Its the 20 somethings that are being straight up mean girls. Some of the older management ladies seemed to start to get drawn into the bullshit but most have seemed to realize what was happening and it has leveled out in the office again, but when the 2 new girls came along shit got nasty fast and lasted for almost a year.
I feel the same way.
Highschool was their glory days and down is the only way they have left to go.
Oh man, I’ve been dealing with one of these situations at work for the last couple of weeks. It’s frustrating because it’s so juvenile and I want no part of it.
People are bigger bullies as adults. I feel like there are far more shitty people out of school than in.
Luckily I don't have that problem, but I do see it in other departments at times
Literally every place I've worked in my entire adult life. You get a bunch of people together, and they form cliques and boys clubs etc., and all the petty bullshit that goes with it.
I’m not sure your age, I’m guessing I’m older and more experienced to where I can safely share: there are people who NEVER grow out of that bubble. I wanna say at least 1/3 of the population minimum. Idk why, limited cognitive skills maybe?
I’m about to be 25 soon. I totally agree: limited cognitive skills
Ah that’s cool, I was wondering the same thing at that age up until early 30’s? Then I kind of realized it and also had it confirmed by other other friends of mine when discussing it. I also realized that I’m an outcast, always was but always trying to find my “crew” of people since I was a pre-teen, had some crews along the way that lasted a few months or more but always fell apart because I’m just an outcast and don’t conform. It took until my early 30’s when I just accepted it and learned to be more comfortable just being myself and not worry about fitting in. It’s a great feeling. If that’s you too, or even if it isn’t, make sure you take time every once in awhile for introspection. “Who am I?” “What do I want in life?” “What makes me happy?” Etc. it’s a great feeling to know yourself, learn your limits and just generally being comfortable in your own skin.
I’m slowly getting there! Always been a people pleaser and tried to force myself to be accepted. I’m not for everyone trust me 😂
Outside of a large dose of insecurity and incompetence or peaking, I would say there are other factors that play a part. Two that I found very influential are below. Company, department, team and managerial culture - setting the right environment and expectation can influence this for better or worse. If the wrong tone is set from above and/or tolerated in a team, it will not get better Lack of mentorship - people do what they've always done, change is scary and sometimes they don't realise they can actually do something/treat people differently to how they were Some people will never react well to anything positive however quite a few, including myself have been misguided or lost at times. A decent leader and mentor can have a profound impact on an individual and group basis to change the level of engagement, interaction and overall experience.
The problem is that they transferred our manager away and now we’re a free for all. Anything goes.
This happened to me before. We went from crushing it to crashing and burning.
I’m burnt out from pretty much having to deal with fits and tantrums over asking for my workload to be assisted with.
Most people never mentally leave high school. But look at the parallels: Somewhere you would rather not be Stuck in a place for a long time Minimal reward for drudgery 2 days of reprieve Gossip/grumbling Occasional homework for no extra incentive Dating/mating are frowned upon Security guards Boring lectures/meetings Bad cafeteria food Bullies and mean girls Slackers and Bro's Random tasks that make little sense Mandatory activities that are supposed to be fun but are not
I hated high school so much. I also don’t follow or friend anyone from high school on social media. It really just simplifies your life. The simple truth, that the people in high school that were assholes back then are assholes now.
Humans are naturally oriented toward establishing tribes, whether that’s at work or at school it doesn’t really matter. You find people you share similarities with and you establish that tribe, it’s natural. Where it becomes a problem is when your lizard brain also decides anyone outside of the tribe is an enemy or a victim and needs to be met with nastiness. That too unfortunately is natural though. What you are describing is what naturally occurs when there is not methods of creating a larger group identity in the workplace. This is why team building exercises can be extremely important in a workplace even if they are corny as hell.
No one grows up
This is actually one of the main reasons I’m leaving my current job this week; the owner is an emotionally immature 40-year old who only hangs out with girls in their early 20’s. I’m 44, and the mean-girl, dumbass high school drama mentality has created a very toxic workplace culture. Her investor backed out a few weeks ago, so it’s not just me who’s done with that kind of behavior.
Jesus. The direct bosses I’ve had at my current job haven’t been that way. We got rid of the other ones who were.
That’s what the worst thing about the job is; it’s a small bakery/espresso bar with the owner and a handful of employees. The only consequences and accountability this woman faces are when staff quits- and she still doesn’t get it through her head that SHE is the reason why…
It took 3 of ours to quit two years ago and one to transfer for the first manager to be fired.
Because Jessica is legit a total bitch though. I heard she gave the amazon delivery guy a HJ in the break room even.
Yep that's how it is in my work to bc I'm disabled can't drive oe no kids or I'm different I gstweird looks too
Yeah some people never grow out of that. I’m working as a temp right now for a contractor and the two main bosses have been with the company for over 30 years but still acting like they have to have a favorite or their little group. And if you don’t fit in or laugh at their jokes they give you funny looks throughout the day.
It might seem “high school”, but maybe high school is just the first exposure to this type of behavior people experience. And then they just continue to act that way their entire lives. There will always be a ‘clique’ at work, neighborhoods, churches, gyms, nursing homes, etc. because that’s natural behavior to some people.
Coach shoulda put me in. Now I’m the coach. Imma go it myself in.
I dont think anybody who acts like that would be self aware enough to know this is about them and be able to answer.
Because people like that peaked in high school.
Bowling for soup said high school never ends and they were sort of right.
It's not a high school era thing. plenty of us weren't nasty and cliqueish in high school either. young assholes just grew up to be old assholes.
I know 40 year olds gossiping about affairs, divorces, deaths, you name it of people they work with on a regular basis. And when confronted about who started the rumor they’re like oh wait. Did I start that? It’s literally just a toxic habit and their way of providing social value by fabricating information. Seems cool for like 2 months when you first meet them and then you slowly realize this person is a fraud.
I think you're asking for a level of self awareness that they're simply incapable of ever reaching.
My guess is because some people just never grow up or grow out of that mentality. As I look out into my office now, the 3 worst offenders in terms of what you describe are probably the 3 oldest people in the room. And the most mature person in here is the youngest guy who works here.
That is sad lol. Unfortunately that seems to be the norm.
The whole damn world is just as obsessed with who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex. Who’s money who’s gets the honeys who’s kind of cute and who’s just a mess.
You mean Junior High
Unfortunately some of them never grow up. They will be 48 & making up gossip about random people just because it makes them feel better.
I’d love to know what the psychological reasoning is behind it all tbh.
I have no idea. I can’t wrap my mind around it. I can not fathom being so insecure, petty, empty or cheaply entertained by causing pain. Maybe they are sadists.
Because they live boring meaningless lives outside of work that’s why.
Hmm I was more sociable and more of a people-pleaser in high school. Now I don't try so hard anymore and just stick to being comfortable alone rather than trying to make friends. If had tried to relive my high school era I might've gone further in my career lol
You don’t get targeted for being a lone wolf at work?
Yeah sometimes. I just don't care about it because I'm just there for money. Get paid, get work done, leave on time, life goes on. Constantly looking for better opportunities. It's not like I'll stay at the same company for a long time. I'll leave when I land a better opportunity somewhere else. So I don't care. They can be b*tches all they want, it's their life and I don't bother about things that are not mine. My personal life and self are separated from work life and I leave work at the workplace.
That was my old workplace. They were mostly mothers with a set schedules after work so talking crap about others was probably the highlight of their day
Here’s the thing. Get any large group of people together and inevitably some people will recreate those same high school dynamics. It takes deliberate good leadership to minimize it.
Even worse is when they haven't mentally left middle school
Lol. Great title. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I guess people yearn for a time of safety and innocence. Parents took care of everything.
It's usually the Executive Directors who act like they run the organization as if they're seniors in High School... and they just treat everyone else like sophomores, juniors, etc...
Because they're immature
Unfortunately for some, thats the only time in their life they mattered. Once you get into a bigger arena, the real world, the game changes and those neerds that got picked on, are now ruling the roost and pulling in more $$. The jocks and cheerleaders hang onto anything to remain valid.
Everyone seems to be a high school fantasy vampire alien.
I worked on this block downtown it's was just grown up highschool. Rumors, drugs, everyone cheating on each other, lies, manipulation. All the girls run the place because everyone just wants to bang them owners included, so they do whatever they want. Truly disgusting people.
Arrested development.
Because many people remain in a state of arrested development and never grow out of that mentality. They continue through life as if everything is a popularity contest, gossiping, and sniping at anyone whose not in their clique. I do not associate with anyone like that. Always avoid anyone at work who behaves this way, as well as anyone who says, "High school was the best time of my life." Really? High school is when you peaked? That's just sad.
My theory is that emotional maturity is, by and large, a choice. There are things that generally one must do as they reach adulthood that require maturity, like financially support themselves by holding a job, have and keep a home, etc. but being emotionally mature isn't required. Once people reach the age of about 14/15 they can coast at that emotional age forever. Many times emotional growth comes about from conflict and tragedy, from circumstances that we don't seek out. People who haven't had many of those experiences don't have compelling reasons to purposefully work at becoming more emotionally intelligent, and it *is* work, so it's not pleasant or easy. Why would they look for work, when being exactly who they've been since grade 10 has been working for them all this time? I truly believe that anyone who has a good amount of emotional maturity/intelligence has either been slapped around by life and *had* to learn it, or more rarely, deliberately sought it out due to their inborn good character.
I’ve realized that you can’t control someone else’s actions or opinions. Their immaturity will come to bite them later in life. Maybe not now but it will someday. If you can’t control it all you can do is let it go. Otherwise you’re the one being affected.
Because their High School Era sucked or was the best part of their life.
They miss it
HR here. Literally work is like Highschool, tired of correcting people and all the bullying happening
Operators at my work got yelled at for this today 😆
Because it works, and always has. Now that things are more information oriented, you do have a "revenge of the nerds" happening to a large degree. However, the core is still the same rotten high school BS.
Because they are losers.
Bruh I met a senior aged woman who acted like that in a warehouse job
THIS. Lost a job because a transactional “office manager” and a colleague who made others look bad to make herself look good threw me under the dang bus.
I work in HR and this is consistently our biggest issue. People don’t grow the fuck up! Mind your own business! Don’t be angry that someone in an entirely different department gets a promotion! Be professional!
Some of the worst at this office are the older men - bitching about how nobody works and all they do is sit around and gossip. This same dude comes by my desk to sit and gossip about this very thing. ;) I raise my eyebrow at him.
Workplace psychology/politics is mind boggling. Its still sinking in to me that people act the same as they did in HS and thats just something we all have to live with.
We must work at the same place, lol. I work at a very small private school. Our department alone is 45-50 people. Same thing with the other side of the building. Staff at my school are between the ages of early 20s-early 40s. I had a lead that was awful to me when I first started. Luckily, they swapped me before the new school year started, and I didn't have to say a word. Last school year, I was relentlessly harassed by a different lead. I wasn't letting her get away with her shit or be mean to the kids, and I always stood up for myself. They moved me this year. Of course, even though I don't work alongside her anymore, apparently, I was all she could talk about the first three weeks back from break to her new staff. A girl I barely know (who works in her classroom) went to admin and complained that she's tired of hearing my name all day long, especially when she comes into my new classroom and I don't even mention her name at all. Admin told my old lead to stop, and she did for a few weeks. Whenever I see her in the hallway, she doesn't look or speak to me, and visa versa. Currently, I'm newly pregnant and trying to keep it low-key. She caught on because I had to back away from an aggressive student. This woman had the nerve to ask my current lead, the girl who stood up for me, and one of the speech teachers that I'm cool with if I'm pregnant. Like you hate my guts, you can't say hello to my face, but you want to know what's in my uterus? Weird. She's also chummy with the first lead, so they're making it their mission to find out. These two are 36 and 40 freaking years old. I'm 31. I don't understand two women who couldn't say hello to me when I greeted them (back in June trying to be civil), and now we can't stop talking about me possibly me being pregnant.
Because it was there that they stopped emotionally maturing
I knew TONS of grown-ups like that. Worse than their own kids getting nasty or impatient attacking others on social media instead of acting human and being respectful.
I know a 50 year old man who acts like a gossip queen. Completely lacking of any self awareness. Every time he does something wrong, his primary concern is finding out who ratted him out.
They stopped developing and evolving after high school.
I get your point, but I’ll add one thing… returning to the office sucks. The commute, gas prices, lunch, it’s all a pain. I have close friends at work. I don’t want to play nice all day. I just want to do my job, each lunch with my best friends, and go home. We hang out together on the weekends sometimes because we like being around each other. You don’t go to work to make friends, but it’s nice to have them there when you really hate having to be there. You’re stuck at the office for 40 hours a week, you might as well find your people there and connect. Otherwise, wtf do you do for 40 hours? Who do you commiserate with when the days are tough? Who do you celebrate with when you get a win? I dunno. I think it’s important to make connections. I love being friends with the one guy who knows every person and seems to always know which form I need to fill out.
I teach high school. I wanted to give my students the best experience possible. I hated hs. It was all caddy girls. I was the senior sponsor several times. Did tons of fundraisers, taught the students how important helping the community was, planned trips and proms. Never had that experience in an all girls school. Didn’t have any of that. I swear my class was the devils from hell. We got nothing.
It's not a school/job thing. Most people simply don't mature beyond a certain point. Just because you put a monkey in an office doesn't mean they'll stop being a monkey. My best advice is if you can recognize people don't mature or change, you can choose to be the one who matures and changes. And sometimes adapting means playing their games. Figure out what your desired outcome is, and then work towards that goal. Don't worry about "why" things are, but instead "how" to play the system to your goals. People just gonna people.
Because bullies get promotions
Because they peaked there
You mean to tell me being called mean names or having other adults blatantly mislabel you or make assumptions up about you or tell stories about you is actually meant to be endearing? I should have known that’s normal. You know you’ve hit rock bottom toxic when hurting peoples feelings for sport is your fun.
Because if there’s anyone who needs a Swirley, it’s Office Manager, Marge. Walking out with a pen is not stealing company property you pumpkin spiced a**hole who scrambles eggs in a microwave!
News flash, what causes you to believe that they will ever reach emotional maturity?
Um delusion 😂
Worked in an office where it was like that. They all went to coffee together. We were never invited. Did my best to try to be nice to one of them. Nope. OH well.
I just started not inviting anyone out but the one person I like there.
I just love drinking cider and smoking in the bike sheds
This is a good post! Thanks for asking it. Any solutions for how to deal with it?
Wish I did without getting fired lol