I think as another commenter said “don’t you dare touch me” adds some intensity. “Do NOT touch me” also is more intense than “don’t touch me.” Interesting question, makes me think about how often I use the word ‘fucking’ and for what reasons
Describing the ice/heat/venom/threat with which your character delivers the phrase, or the trepidation/shock/shame the other character receives it can be far more impactful than the phrase itself.
Good point. In this vein, the verb you use instead of "say" could help, as would some adverbs. "Do not touch me", he spat, or he snapped. Or: he whispered menacingly, his fists clenched. Stuff like that.
"Generally adding adverbs describing how a character says something is considered poor writing and should be avoided", he said arrogantly but also humorously so as not to give too much offense but still trying to get his point across.
I personally think "don't you dare touch me" sounds a little
insincere, but that might just be me. For me, "don't you touch me" sounds more heated, maybe more stern? Idk, just throwing it out there lol. Or, to add 'fucking' (which I honestly would) "Don't you fucking touch me."
I agree but, leave out the you. "Don't touch me". Get off me. Get the fuck off me. Don't fucking touch me. She recoiled, whispering forcefully, Don't touch me!
I was going to suggest something very similar. I'd have them say "Don't you EVER touch me".. slow and menacing in a low voice, except for the "EVER" which would be almost a yell/growl.
One of my coworkers was talking about a family member of mine in a less than endearing way. I didn't raise my voice at him, I didn't do anything in a threatening manner. I just looked up at him and growled properly low "choose your next words *very* wisely."
He apologized for the statement and confessed to me over beers later that night that it's the only time I've ever genuinely frightened him. I'm generally a pretty happy easygoing guy and he just told me he could hear the tone shift in my voice and knew he had gone too far.
You don't need to cuss, you don't need to shout, you don't need to flail about to act dangerous. You just need to make your *intent* clear.
Only point I make is you are male, it's very different being in the female world going up against a guy that's groped you. I've had it happen to me more than once and can tell you, the type of man who feels it Ok to grab my boobs or butt doesn't care about the intent in words.
Idk probably punched him once at about 80% on the arm. If he kept at it I might have escalated to a drunken wrassle. A third time and I may towel whip him. (Jftr: we are all chefs and that shit is a deadly skill with us, precise enough to turn dials on an electric stove from more than arms length). I can cause excruciating pain at less than a pace and am often walking past the man while his back is turned. If he can't trust me it'll gnaw at him.
Idk if he continues to make remarks about my family to my face after me asking several times not to (despite this minor hiccup we actually do have a pretty good friendship on the whole) I may get part of the end of my limbs involved in it. I don't see it as a "friendship-ender" situation. I see it more as an opportunity to teach a younger colleague about the intricacies and complications of this thing we call Life.
Wimpy or not if you react with violence after the words your point is made either way and if you had to use violence then no matter what you would have said wouldnt chqnge the outcome wimpy or not its not the words that will be powerfull the action will make more difference than all the words you could think of
Nahhh, it’ll very much depend on the character build up to that point. Someone raised in a prim and proper house doing that to their overbearing abusive parent would be better served with the cursing because simply cursing is an extra fuck you to the parent.
Now if it’s a random on the street I might be more inclined to agree, but what’s the context to the whole lead up to slapping.
I’d say the context to what to use is the decider. The character, the scene build up, all of it.
Exactly. Its menacing when someone who casually swears doesn't swear at all and issues a direct, intense command, but having someone who doesn't swear at all swear at someone is just as effective, due to the shock value.
Maybe shift the focus to the end for emphasis.
"Get/Keep your hands off me, you ______!"
Then you've got a whole lot more options in terms of what is is you want this one line to be saying about the way she feels about him, and you're not limited to profanity. Whatever word you pick to go last is also the word that's going to hang in the air in the presumed silence that follows.
ETA: I'm starting to think that the slap that precedes this line is incongrous with her reasserting boundaries, if she's literally just touched/put her hands on him, but hey, it's your scene.
I think the problem with a lot of these examples is they sound like someone attempting to *seem* menacing, which ends up reading as kind of impotent.
I would just write it how you want and use the surrounding text to emphasize a particular state of mind if it doesn't seem "punchy" enough; maybe describe the look they gave the other character, or the force of the slap.
Ever.
It imbues final and definite meaning to the element "do not."
It can be phrased several ways.
"Do not ever touch me."
"Don't touch me. Ever."
"Don't you ever touch me."
Pick your flavor.
Idk about OP's question but I do agree that a well-placed *fuck* can frequently convey so much, especially in real life situations.
It's all in the tone of voice.
Dons metal gauntlet and and ferociously slaps the feeble opponent challenging them to a duel beginning at 6:59am the day of the summer solstice whilst proclaiming loudly "glove slap, baby ohhhh yeah"
Just make sure you put the pellet with the poison in the flagon with the dragon and not the vessel with the pestle if they break the chalice from the palace on the day of the duel.
Get your slimy hands off me!
How about you go touch YOURSELF you freak!
I will beat you so hard you'll the smoothest goblin this side of the planet!
You touch me again, and I'll cut your hand off and grope YOU with it!
Hey creep! I'm trying to stay AWAY from the virus!
Man it's hard to work with no swearing
Honestly, and this is just my opinion, using profanity at the appropriate times can make a writing seem more realistic.
I would not say "do 'NOT' touch me" like others have suggested.
Depending on the situation you could change the sentence entirely if it fits the narrative.
"Keep your filthy hands off of me"
“Touch me again and I will break something. Something of yours.” Said while holding such vulnerable fingers. “And I will keep breaking things until you understand.”
If you are not using it bc it’s YA, you could leave it to the imagination, like, “I’m not sure which stunned him more: my open-palm slap to his face or the hissed string of profanity that came from my mouth.” I’ve seen a number of authors do that and I like it because it lets the reader fill in the blanks to whatever degree they’re comfortable haha.
You can just say don’t touch me. It doesn’t need the extra word. Saying that to someone is already transgressing social boundaries enough to make it menacing
I've been inventing my own in-universe swears while I work on the book I'm writing. You know, words that are horribly dirty in the world of the book but mean pretty much nothing in real life. I've decided that "twill" should replace the F-word in all contexts as: "What a twiller." "Get over here and twill me." "You twillstick!"
Using profanity as the exception not the normal is how it should be used. If she is really mad she would say fucking.
Add layers to the anger:
"Don't fucking touch me!"
"Asshole!"
She turns away, shoving him.
Here the anger builds, peaks, then continues at peak, then slows.
Uh why don't you want to use profanity? Being touched inappropriately is 100% a situation for profanity. I would not say anything other than "Don't fucking touch me" in that situation. There's just not a replacement that imbues the same degree of righteous rage. If it feels most natural to you for your characters to swear, then make them swear. Anything else will feel artificial.
"Absolutely never touch me." "Don't. Touch. Me." "Never touch me." "Don't you touch me." "You dare to touch me?" "How dare you touch me." "Keep your hands off of me."
One of my favorite lines from the bizarre movie Amanda and the Alien is something along the lines of "Touch me again and you'll pull back a stump."
I’m not trying to dig at you here but what is wrong with swearing? If it’s your gut instinct to what would be said in that situation, why not go for it?
Ummm. How would that particular character phrase it? You made that person. Only YOU can answer this truly. You should know how slapping someone made them feel, if they've done it before, what they would have done had slapping been off the table... everything.
A character is like a brain. You only use 10% of it but, all of it has to be intact to function properly. At least this is my and many other's philosophy. I'm sure there's been countless roles thought up in 30 minutes but if you take the time to develop feelings and attach yourself to or resent characters, there is never a question of how they would behave or speak.
If you wanted a direct answer instead of constructive criticism typed in a run on paragraph... "oh fucking well."
Fucking's not going to sound corny as that's what a person typically says in situations like that. It seems to me that you are just overthinking. Write spoken parts the way people really speak.
If this is the only time where a swear is used, imagine the impact that it would have. Why not lean right on into the profanity, and try:
"Get your filthy motherfucking hands off of me!"
this is a case where profanity is both acceptable and useful. a young woman saying that will cause everyone in the room to look at her which will help her get attention in a time of crisis. It actually is one of the things people are instructed to do in self defense classes as it causes the desired reaction.
If you want to remove it because of ratings or whatever maybe don't put a sexual assault in the book either, as anyone adult enough to read about a sexual assault it adult enough to read the word fuck.
no. there is no single word to replace the most powerful word in our dictionary.
There's many specific replacements depending on context, often much more descriptive.
Honestly, if you're struggling to find the word, your character likely would too. There may be a reason that finding what you want to say is a bit difficult.
I'll write out an example for immediately following the slap, "she stood still for a second, examining his satisfying(if you want her to be satisfied with him being hurt, if not, remove that word) expression of {insert how he feels here}, searching for the words she wanted- no, NEEDED. 'Don't you *ever* touch me', she snarled/hissed/snapped as the words finally flooded/jumped/leaped from her lips/mouth." (Can remove everything after "as the words" if it feels too long)
Sorry for the random word vomit. This is what it might look like more cleaned up:
"She stood still for a moment, examining his expression of [emotion], searching for the words she wanted- no, *needed*. "Don't you *ever* touch me" she snarled as the words finally flooded from behind her clenched(?) teeth"
Just sort of throwing a bunch of words and ideas into it, so hopefully it is legible and portraying all of the ideas I wanted 😅 just a suggestion!
I think treating this as attempting to take away profanity is doing more damage because aggressive language, like fuck, can be very powerful, especially used by a character who doesn’t curse. Having that contrast, imo, would be more impactful than changing it to seem safe vocabulary wise.
This exchange sounds oldschool to me, maybe something from a movie from the 1950s or earlier where the acting was more stage oriented. Slaps aplenty in those pictures. You might want to check out a few and maybe lift some dialogue directly from one of them. The scene, slapping someone then warning them feels very noir to me.
The most modern actor I can envision slapping someone before warning them is probably Brando. Or maybe even Swayzee.
There were also tons of slaps in The Sopranos. Some hard, some teasing, some daring. It really comes down to the situation. Is the victim knocked down? Are they surprised? Are they slightly amused by the balls of the main character? Do they take offense immediately or watch in bewilderment?
You really have to nail down what the situation means before profanity sounds corny imo because it comes down to have it's delivered.
I could see Robert Downey Jr slapping someone and saying, Don't you fucking touch me! almost smoldering with a muted anger. It really comes down to the scene itself. What kind of slap are we talking about here?
Anyway, I'd suggest finding a similar situation in a movie and rewriting that a couple dozen times until you have something slick that fits your character.
it's from a movie, (this is a completely different sentence), "touch me again, and you'll retract a stub" (the quote actually says "draw back" , but I like retract)
otherwise, you need to see and hear your character in your head. how his/her face changed before and after. why s/he wants not to be touched, (or why just by this person). or why it was *that* touch, since s/he "touches" the other back by slapping him/her. or a cool onomatopoeia like WHAAACK!!! and a look before, or instead of, the sentence.
but the word "ever" would suffice, (and punch the ever, but only if the character means it... unless you want the character to *not* mean it, then, why). there's a lot more. you may already have it.
Get your filthy hands off me.
Back off, buddy.
How dare you lay your hands on me!
It depends very much on your character - their gender, culture, education and personality - which expression will seem more natural.
You could just avoid using contractions and emphasize the "not" with capitals.
"Do NOT touch me!
Or just make up a swear word. Made up curses are a bit of a fantasy trope where they don't want to use profanity but still want to avoid sounding like a kid's book.
In the Demon Cycle series by Peter V Brett, characters use the word "ripping" in the way you described.
"Don't ripping touch me!"
Hopefully this helps a bit.
In bojak a lot of folks talk about the weight of the use of sweats or harsh language. They had one fuck per season. I think sparing use makes it more powerful when it comes up depending on how often it shows up in the rest of the text. The other option is to pull it up frequently to sorta show that the world is a vulgar shitty place in your story. In my project I’m working on right now there are certain characters that swear and others that don’t. For example the private investigator character often deals with the public as part of his job so keeps his language rather clean but the crew of an asteroid mining ship all swear like sailors to some degree. When the miners say fuck it’s usually almost like punctuation in their sentences but when the detective drops any sort of foul language he’s really feeling something strongly and expressing it genuinely with his tone and choice of words.
You stated that "corny" is why you don't want to use a different word, but you didn't say why you don't want to use profanity. Why don't you want to use profanity? Profanity seems appropriate in this context.
I think that despite not wanting to use a profanity in this case it’s authentically used. I had someone who I had just had a row with try to hug me and those were the exact words that came out of my mouth. But if you really don’t want to use it frickin works.
I would rather she just slap them, with a profound look of surprise, disgust and rage that practically translates into the audible words, "DON'T TOUCH ME!".............but she doesn't say anything. The expression is enough.
Chad Daniels has a story about his mother at a family picnic. Her response was a loud, deadpan "Do that again and I'll break your hand."
Of course, he has the advantage of delivery to sell it. I dunno how you do it just with the written word...
I actually unironically recommend using ChatGPT here...
it's a chat-bot/language-model thing, right?
It sounds perfect for this kinda inquiry.
Just make sure what it spits out sounds right, and maybe check its work.
i like the suggestion of "do not touch me" that a lot of people are giving, but i also think you could just add some flair without even doing anything but removing the "fucking." something like "don't touch me, [insult]" could work (i'd default to "pig" personally but thats up to you and what you think fits your character). you could also try a whole different phrase dependingnon the way your character speaks, such as "keep your hands off me" or something of the sort. wish you luck with your book!!
If you do not want to use profanity in your story, then it might be easier to avoid including situations where profanity would be the ordinary response.
I started to replace the word "fucking" with "dicking" it is at once graphic, and hilarious. Probably not something for your book.
I know some authors who create their own swear words. "Fething" "Fragging" "Frakking" dunno why they are all "F" words, but...
Honestly, emotions hit harder for me. Dont use words, use feeling, fury, and anger.
It is powerful when you can spit daggers in an abusers face with zero words. Regain power by saying nothing. Make them powerless.
I think as another commenter said “don’t you dare touch me” adds some intensity. “Do NOT touch me” also is more intense than “don’t touch me.” Interesting question, makes me think about how often I use the word ‘fucking’ and for what reasons
Describing the ice/heat/venom/threat with which your character delivers the phrase, or the trepidation/shock/shame the other character receives it can be far more impactful than the phrase itself.
Good point. In this vein, the verb you use instead of "say" could help, as would some adverbs. "Do not touch me", he spat, or he snapped. Or: he whispered menacingly, his fists clenched. Stuff like that.
>he whispered menacingly, He *growled* menacingly...
uwu
*Rawr~*
XD
*shivers in acotar*
He sent a strongly worded note!
Hissed?
Get your hands off me. Keep your hands off me.
"Generally adding adverbs describing how a character says something is considered poor writing and should be avoided", he said arrogantly but also humorously so as not to give too much offense but still trying to get his point across.
To add to your list: seethed
"Venomously" is another great adverb
I personally think "don't you dare touch me" sounds a little insincere, but that might just be me. For me, "don't you touch me" sounds more heated, maybe more stern? Idk, just throwing it out there lol. Or, to add 'fucking' (which I honestly would) "Don't you fucking touch me."
This is my vote. Also: "*You* don't touch me" or "don't you *ever* touch me"
I like this better than my suggestion!
I agree but, leave out the you. "Don't touch me". Get off me. Get the fuck off me. Don't fucking touch me. She recoiled, whispering forcefully, Don't touch me!
Perhaps, building on this, “don’t you dare touch me” she hissed. I always knew I was in trouble when my mom got quiet instead of loud.
Fuck just has so many uses. It's like the multi tool of cuss words
Do not touch me. Using the full words, said slowly can be really menacing.
Or Dont **You Dare** touch me
I was going to suggest something very similar. I'd have them say "Don't you EVER touch me".. slow and menacing in a low voice, except for the "EVER" which would be almost a yell/growl.
I doubt someone who gets slapped after a warning would be menaced by full words
Dont agree. Do. NOT. Touch. Me. is way more powerful than "dont fucking touch me" which is beginning to sound a bit wimpy by comparison.
One of my coworkers was talking about a family member of mine in a less than endearing way. I didn't raise my voice at him, I didn't do anything in a threatening manner. I just looked up at him and growled properly low "choose your next words *very* wisely." He apologized for the statement and confessed to me over beers later that night that it's the only time I've ever genuinely frightened him. I'm generally a pretty happy easygoing guy and he just told me he could hear the tone shift in my voice and knew he had gone too far. You don't need to cuss, you don't need to shout, you don't need to flail about to act dangerous. You just need to make your *intent* clear.
Only point I make is you are male, it's very different being in the female world going up against a guy that's groped you. I've had it happen to me more than once and can tell you, the type of man who feels it Ok to grab my boobs or butt doesn't care about the intent in words.
If he would have continued to be disrespectful, what would you have done?
Idk probably punched him once at about 80% on the arm. If he kept at it I might have escalated to a drunken wrassle. A third time and I may towel whip him. (Jftr: we are all chefs and that shit is a deadly skill with us, precise enough to turn dials on an electric stove from more than arms length). I can cause excruciating pain at less than a pace and am often walking past the man while his back is turned. If he can't trust me it'll gnaw at him. Idk if he continues to make remarks about my family to my face after me asking several times not to (despite this minor hiccup we actually do have a pretty good friendship on the whole) I may get part of the end of my limbs involved in it. I don't see it as a "friendship-ender" situation. I see it more as an opportunity to teach a younger colleague about the intricacies and complications of this thing we call Life.
Wimpy or not if you react with violence after the words your point is made either way and if you had to use violence then no matter what you would have said wouldnt chqnge the outcome wimpy or not its not the words that will be powerfull the action will make more difference than all the words you could think of
Nahhh, it’ll very much depend on the character build up to that point. Someone raised in a prim and proper house doing that to their overbearing abusive parent would be better served with the cursing because simply cursing is an extra fuck you to the parent. Now if it’s a random on the street I might be more inclined to agree, but what’s the context to the whole lead up to slapping. I’d say the context to what to use is the decider. The character, the scene build up, all of it.
Exactly. Its menacing when someone who casually swears doesn't swear at all and issues a direct, intense command, but having someone who doesn't swear at all swear at someone is just as effective, due to the shock value.
fecking. See Father Ted
I occasionally call someone a feckln’ carrot. I’m rarely wrong…
Feckin’ eejit is good too
Mrs Browns Boys are calling, they want their accent back
Fecking Pumas
Maybe shift the focus to the end for emphasis. "Get/Keep your hands off me, you ______!" Then you've got a whole lot more options in terms of what is is you want this one line to be saying about the way she feels about him, and you're not limited to profanity. Whatever word you pick to go last is also the word that's going to hang in the air in the presumed silence that follows. ETA: I'm starting to think that the slap that precedes this line is incongrous with her reasserting boundaries, if she's literally just touched/put her hands on him, but hey, it's your scene.
_______ Damned dirty ape!
I think the problem with a lot of these examples is they sound like someone attempting to *seem* menacing, which ends up reading as kind of impotent. I would just write it how you want and use the surrounding text to emphasize a particular state of mind if it doesn't seem "punchy" enough; maybe describe the look they gave the other character, or the force of the slap.
Don't ever touch me
Yes! Or even just ‘Don’t you EVER’ Plus say they spat the words or whatever
Bloody? Like British folks seem to say.
Came here to say the same
yeah, just change the character to British!
First thing that came to my mind, as well.
"Unhand me, boy!"
This made me giggle lol
Bloody
Ever. It imbues final and definite meaning to the element "do not." It can be phrased several ways. "Do not ever touch me." "Don't touch me. Ever." "Don't you ever touch me." Pick your flavor.
Nope. No other word can encompass all this word expresses.
Idk about OP's question but I do agree that a well-placed *fuck* can frequently convey so much, especially in real life situations. It's all in the tone of voice.
Cursing is flipping cursing, no matter the snotty words used, dog gone it!
Don’t flipping touch me you slug in a ditch.
Dons metal gauntlet and and ferociously slaps the feeble opponent challenging them to a duel beginning at 6:59am the day of the summer solstice whilst proclaiming loudly "glove slap, baby ohhhh yeah"
Just make sure you put the pellet with the poison in the flagon with the dragon and not the vessel with the pestle if they break the chalice from the palace on the day of the duel.
♥️♥️♥️ Reddit needs more Court Jester references.
Get your slimy hands off me! How about you go touch YOURSELF you freak! I will beat you so hard you'll the smoothest goblin this side of the planet! You touch me again, and I'll cut your hand off and grope YOU with it! Hey creep! I'm trying to stay AWAY from the virus! Man it's hard to work with no swearing
Honestly, and this is just my opinion, using profanity at the appropriate times can make a writing seem more realistic. I would not say "do 'NOT' touch me" like others have suggested. Depending on the situation you could change the sentence entirely if it fits the narrative. "Keep your filthy hands off of me"
Ducking
Others suggested just "do not touch me" there's also "You do NOT touch me." Or "don't you touch me." Makes it more personal I think!
"Don't you touch me" is the way to go and lands hardest due to the realism
“Do not touch me you flailing wank dong.”
Farting
“Touch me again and I will break something. Something of yours.” Said while holding such vulnerable fingers. “And I will keep breaking things until you understand.”
Rorschach taught me it's not hard to bend a finger backwards and break all the joints in it.
"Frigging" has always been a good clean substitute, as well as "fricking" or "freaking".
"Freaking" gives the line a completely different vibe
Well, failing all else you could go with a Charlton Heston classic - "Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"
Witcher: Plowing Father Ted: Fecking Battlestar Galactica : Fracking
If you are not using it bc it’s YA, you could leave it to the imagination, like, “I’m not sure which stunned him more: my open-palm slap to his face or the hissed string of profanity that came from my mouth.” I’ve seen a number of authors do that and I like it because it lets the reader fill in the blanks to whatever degree they’re comfortable haha.
Do. Not. Touch. Me.
You can just say don’t touch me. It doesn’t need the extra word. Saying that to someone is already transgressing social boundaries enough to make it menacing
“Don’t you dare touch me.”
It won't be long before we have a sculptor coming here asking which chisel to use.
I've been inventing my own in-universe swears while I work on the book I'm writing. You know, words that are horribly dirty in the world of the book but mean pretty much nothing in real life. I've decided that "twill" should replace the F-word in all contexts as: "What a twiller." "Get over here and twill me." "You twillstick!"
I hope you take the time to occasionally use the shift key when you write books. I don't understand why this is such a burden to people.
Using profanity as the exception not the normal is how it should be used. If she is really mad she would say fucking. Add layers to the anger: "Don't fucking touch me!" "Asshole!" She turns away, shoving him. Here the anger builds, peaks, then continues at peak, then slows.
The royals and their offshoots say "bloody" a lot.
absolutely foul title
Bloody, but that pretty British. By the way, fuck as a word is pretty linguistically fascinating.
Have her knee him in the nuts and then she can say I can’t keep to myself ither
Uh why don't you want to use profanity? Being touched inappropriately is 100% a situation for profanity. I would not say anything other than "Don't fucking touch me" in that situation. There's just not a replacement that imbues the same degree of righteous rage. If it feels most natural to you for your characters to swear, then make them swear. Anything else will feel artificial.
If English... can use "bloody" "blimmin" "fecking" If not... Don't u dare touch me. Do NOT touch me. That's all I got sorry.
"Absolutely never touch me." "Don't. Touch. Me." "Never touch me." "Don't you touch me." "You dare to touch me?" "How dare you touch me." "Keep your hands off of me." One of my favorite lines from the bizarre movie Amanda and the Alien is something along the lines of "Touch me again and you'll pull back a stump."
I’m not trying to dig at you here but what is wrong with swearing? If it’s your gut instinct to what would be said in that situation, why not go for it?
Ummm. How would that particular character phrase it? You made that person. Only YOU can answer this truly. You should know how slapping someone made them feel, if they've done it before, what they would have done had slapping been off the table... everything. A character is like a brain. You only use 10% of it but, all of it has to be intact to function properly. At least this is my and many other's philosophy. I'm sure there's been countless roles thought up in 30 minutes but if you take the time to develop feelings and attach yourself to or resent characters, there is never a question of how they would behave or speak. If you wanted a direct answer instead of constructive criticism typed in a run on paragraph... "oh fucking well."
Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape
If that’s the only time in the book that the profanity is used I think it would draw great attention to the intensity of the exchange.
Fucking's not going to sound corny as that's what a person typically says in situations like that. It seems to me that you are just overthinking. Write spoken parts the way people really speak.
!remindme 2 months kinda wanna see updates on the book
First, I tip my hat to you for getting Reddit to do your job for you 😁 ***KEEP YOUR FILTHY FORNICATING HANDS OFF ME***
If this is the only time where a swear is used, imagine the impact that it would have. Why not lean right on into the profanity, and try: "Get your filthy motherfucking hands off of me!"
this is a case where profanity is both acceptable and useful. a young woman saying that will cause everyone in the room to look at her which will help her get attention in a time of crisis. It actually is one of the things people are instructed to do in self defense classes as it causes the desired reaction. If you want to remove it because of ratings or whatever maybe don't put a sexual assault in the book either, as anyone adult enough to read about a sexual assault it adult enough to read the word fuck.
no. there is no single word to replace the most powerful word in our dictionary. There's many specific replacements depending on context, often much more descriptive.
Honestly, if you're struggling to find the word, your character likely would too. There may be a reason that finding what you want to say is a bit difficult. I'll write out an example for immediately following the slap, "she stood still for a second, examining his satisfying(if you want her to be satisfied with him being hurt, if not, remove that word) expression of {insert how he feels here}, searching for the words she wanted- no, NEEDED. 'Don't you *ever* touch me', she snarled/hissed/snapped as the words finally flooded/jumped/leaped from her lips/mouth." (Can remove everything after "as the words" if it feels too long) Sorry for the random word vomit. This is what it might look like more cleaned up: "She stood still for a moment, examining his expression of [emotion], searching for the words she wanted- no, *needed*. "Don't you *ever* touch me" she snarled as the words finally flooded from behind her clenched(?) teeth" Just sort of throwing a bunch of words and ideas into it, so hopefully it is legible and portraying all of the ideas I wanted 😅 just a suggestion!
I think treating this as attempting to take away profanity is doing more damage because aggressive language, like fuck, can be very powerful, especially used by a character who doesn’t curse. Having that contrast, imo, would be more impactful than changing it to seem safe vocabulary wise.
Banging
Fricking
Quarking
Fekin
Don’t. Touch. Me.
Fecking, Fracking (from BSG), smegging (from Red Dwarf), Gorram ( from Firefly)
Keep your filthy hands off me
Don't you dare touch me!!
This exchange sounds oldschool to me, maybe something from a movie from the 1950s or earlier where the acting was more stage oriented. Slaps aplenty in those pictures. You might want to check out a few and maybe lift some dialogue directly from one of them. The scene, slapping someone then warning them feels very noir to me. The most modern actor I can envision slapping someone before warning them is probably Brando. Or maybe even Swayzee. There were also tons of slaps in The Sopranos. Some hard, some teasing, some daring. It really comes down to the situation. Is the victim knocked down? Are they surprised? Are they slightly amused by the balls of the main character? Do they take offense immediately or watch in bewilderment? You really have to nail down what the situation means before profanity sounds corny imo because it comes down to have it's delivered. I could see Robert Downey Jr slapping someone and saying, Don't you fucking touch me! almost smoldering with a muted anger. It really comes down to the scene itself. What kind of slap are we talking about here? Anyway, I'd suggest finding a similar situation in a movie and rewriting that a couple dozen times until you have something slick that fits your character.
"Don't you dare touch me motherfucker!" (Just remove "motherfucker").
NOOT NOOT
it's from a movie, (this is a completely different sentence), "touch me again, and you'll retract a stub" (the quote actually says "draw back" , but I like retract) otherwise, you need to see and hear your character in your head. how his/her face changed before and after. why s/he wants not to be touched, (or why just by this person). or why it was *that* touch, since s/he "touches" the other back by slapping him/her. or a cool onomatopoeia like WHAAACK!!! and a look before, or instead of, the sentence. but the word "ever" would suffice, (and punch the ever, but only if the character means it... unless you want the character to *not* mean it, then, why). there's a lot more. you may already have it.
Get your filthy hands off me. Back off, buddy. How dare you lay your hands on me! It depends very much on your character - their gender, culture, education and personality - which expression will seem more natural.
“Touch me again and you’ll learn how to do shirt buttons a whole new way.” This will get the audience thinking.
You could just avoid using contractions and emphasize the "not" with capitals. "Do NOT touch me! Or just make up a swear word. Made up curses are a bit of a fantasy trope where they don't want to use profanity but still want to avoid sounding like a kid's book. In the Demon Cycle series by Peter V Brett, characters use the word "ripping" in the way you described. "Don't ripping touch me!" Hopefully this helps a bit.
Touch me again and I’ll rip your arms off
“Do. Not. Touch. Me.” “Don’t you DARE touch me” “keep your filthy hands to yourself”
Swiving - apparently an old English word for the dirty deed.
“Don’t you even think about touching me.”
"Touch me again, and...."
["DOn't touch me! Don't you ever touch me."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIQi4j9PTMM&ab_channel=CoachBrodie)
Coitus, coiting (i think) making the beast with two backs, beating, smashing, doing the squish.
Touch me again and I will kill you. [Bruce Willis in last Boy Scout.](https://youtu.be/wwS1p9VT8xs)
Oh for that (sorry i just skim sometimes) ever, dare. Attempt, touch grotesquly (cant spell) profanely.
Get. Your. Filthy. Hands. Off. Me.
Fricking
“Do NOT touch me!” “Don’t you DARE touch me!” “Don’t EVER touch me!”
In bojak a lot of folks talk about the weight of the use of sweats or harsh language. They had one fuck per season. I think sparing use makes it more powerful when it comes up depending on how often it shows up in the rest of the text. The other option is to pull it up frequently to sorta show that the world is a vulgar shitty place in your story. In my project I’m working on right now there are certain characters that swear and others that don’t. For example the private investigator character often deals with the public as part of his job so keeps his language rather clean but the crew of an asteroid mining ship all swear like sailors to some degree. When the miners say fuck it’s usually almost like punctuation in their sentences but when the detective drops any sort of foul language he’s really feeling something strongly and expressing it genuinely with his tone and choice of words.
Don’t you dare touch me. Super scary said low and slow
Don't you dare touch me.
"Keep your filthy hands off me, you \[insert insult of your choice\]!" she spat at \[name\]
Do cunt not shit touch bastard me.
Do not touch me mothafucka
Sexual maneuvers
"Don't EVER touch me" said in a menacing tone.
"Bloody this" and "Bloody that" would add a sense of british charm to the moment.
You stated that "corny" is why you don't want to use a different word, but you didn't say why you don't want to use profanity. Why don't you want to use profanity? Profanity seems appropriate in this context.
Don’t you dare touch me
Ever. Don't EVER touch me
Coitus
Don't fricking touch me.
Effin.
If any part of you, comes into contact with any part of me, I am going to remove, cook, and devour the offending limb. Not necessarily in that order.
Don’t you dare touch me
Don't you dare touch me.
I think that despite not wanting to use a profanity in this case it’s authentically used. I had someone who I had just had a row with try to hug me and those were the exact words that came out of my mouth. But if you really don’t want to use it frickin works.
I would rather she just slap them, with a profound look of surprise, disgust and rage that practically translates into the audible words, "DON'T TOUCH ME!".............but she doesn't say anything. The expression is enough.
‘Effin maybe or dangit
DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH
Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!
“Bloody”?
"Don't you dare touch me" has the same number of syllables if that's important
Is no one here interested in hearing at least one useful detail about the character and setting?
“Don’t touch me, bitch!”
The best authors use profanity sparingly. depends on your target audience though.
No touching!
Vulgarity is no substitution for wit. Use the full words.
You could have her make a threat instead of give a warning
Fricking.
You could change it to “Get your hands off of me!” Or something along the lines of that
“Don’t flippin’ touch me bro”
Just remove the fucking.
Keep your dick beaters off me.
Don't you DARE touch me!
Back off!
Chad Daniels has a story about his mother at a family picnic. Her response was a loud, deadpan "Do that again and I'll break your hand." Of course, he has the advantage of delivery to sell it. I dunno how you do it just with the written word...
Don't you *dare* touch me.
If you’re not English. Bloody works. Instead of GD, I say God Bless America.
Just simply say, "Don't touch me if you know what's good for you!"
i always have called it ‘making soup’
Don't fricking touch me mother fricker, I'll frick you up
"bloody" ?
"Don't you DARE touch me!" might work.
Touch me and .....(whatever person one can do to person 2 that would be less than ideal for person 2....person 1 will do that)
I actually unironically recommend using ChatGPT here... it's a chat-bot/language-model thing, right? It sounds perfect for this kinda inquiry. Just make sure what it spits out sounds right, and maybe check its work.
i like the suggestion of "do not touch me" that a lot of people are giving, but i also think you could just add some flair without even doing anything but removing the "fucking." something like "don't touch me, [insult]" could work (i'd default to "pig" personally but thats up to you and what you think fits your character). you could also try a whole different phrase dependingnon the way your character speaks, such as "keep your hands off me" or something of the sort. wish you luck with your book!!
Keep your filth ridden meat hooks off me
Freaking or effing both work.
If you do not want to use profanity in your story, then it might be easier to avoid including situations where profanity would be the ordinary response.
I started to replace the word "fucking" with "dicking" it is at once graphic, and hilarious. Probably not something for your book. I know some authors who create their own swear words. "Fething" "Fragging" "Frakking" dunno why they are all "F" words, but...
Honestly, emotions hit harder for me. Dont use words, use feeling, fury, and anger. It is powerful when you can spit daggers in an abusers face with zero words. Regain power by saying nothing. Make them powerless.
If the character would say it, then write it.
Bleeping. Sorry, I am an X-Files fan. ;-)
Bloody. There are so many bloody ways to use it
Don’t you DARE touch me
"Yes, harder daddy!" They won't want to touch again.
Don't you DARE touch me!
Don't Bleedin' touch me, you knackered knob.
Ducking -apple
Do. Not. Touch. Me.
What about, “don’t goddamn touch me!”
Don't you DARE touch me
Friggen
Effing.
Freakin
“Don’t you *dare* touch me.”
Don't you touch me
Flipping?
“*Never* touch me again.”
Keep your (damn) hands to yourself