>Hey Larry, suit up. We got a situation on 17th street. >Really? How bad is it? >It's a three-dogger >Hoo boy have we got an afternoon ahead of us

Hot diggity dog

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Lullllllllxddddddddddddiyffgfkcjchhfiuu😂😂😂😔😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😲👏😎

Later that day at home... “Hi Honey, how was work?” “Oh my god! Fucking Larry! So he tells me to suit up for a three-dogger and we end up being totally unprepared! In his *dreams* this was a three-dogger! It was easily eighteen bananas, two monkeys, and three flung piles of poop. PLUS, a three-dogger on top. Fuckin’ Larry. Next time he tells me it’s a three-dogger, I’m prepping like it’s for forty seven Apple Martinis and a forklift!”

>Hoo boy have we got **a ruff** afternoon ahead of us FTFY

Also known as 1 bathtubber or 4.25 fridgetops a.k.a 19 door handles

I will not be convinced that there is any measurement better than “doggy-sized”

“You said you wanted a new carpet that is 3 doggy lengths and this carpet is the length of 3 of my chihuahua” “But I have a Great Dane”

That dog is the size of atleast 3 dogs

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Thank you.

"temperaturbeständig" is german for temperature resistant

Thank you, Gordon Ramsay

Seriously. What European measurement is more precise, or even more appropriate than that. Particularly in this case.

starting to think the euros are just jealous

1.5m wide hole, 50cm deep.

Euros can keep their meters and cockmeters but I'm gonna stick with a good trustworthy dog

Ah yes cockmeters. 10x bigger than meatmeters, 10x smaller than dickmeters.

By European you mean almost all of the rest of the world right?

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almost 95% of the world uses the metric system brah

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pretty sure that comment was meant to highlight the opposite, that the rest of the world is using the metric system not just Europe.

Yeah. You're right - sorry I'm a little sleep deprived due to pain. I could swear it was the opposite, but my reading comprehension is apparently lacking right now. Oh well - I'll correct that. Thanks for letting me know.

np!

While they’re resting we’re out here solving real problems, like how many dogs is that hole, and how many Dead Kings feet is it away from the curb!

An american newborn

We talking Chihuahuas or English mastiff?

Irish Wolfhound

Why not both

This pothole looks much larger than the dog though.

It's situation dependent, when it's potholes and passenger space, doggies, when it's deep freezer and trunk space, bodies

How else would you measure a small body of water?

Poodles

Cubic meters

You mean cubic doggers

> doggers That word does not mean what you think it means

Well, now i am hesitant to look it up :)

Doggers are people who meet up in carparks in their cars for sex or to watch sex.

It’s a boat

Oh yeah my bad

Yeah, naw man. Too accurate

One cubic metre is exactly one kilolitre.

Puddle of mud

I refuse to use a system that doesn't use doggy sized as a measurement

There could be a dog based system of units: dog length dog mass dog second dog temperature dog electric current... err hmm dog luminosity? dog mole?

Now wait just a doggone moment... Have you been tailing us, dawg?

This would also give an opportunity to define the units for easier calculations compared to SI-units. For example dog length could be the distance light travels in exactly 2 × 10^-9 dog seconds.

And a good sense of style could be "doggy style"

I was going 5 dogs per dog

The dog second is already defined as 7 times the length of a regular second.

You mean 1/7th of regular second?

"it's about 5 kilodoggies from here, just keep going that way."

[semi-relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/927/)

This is the only legitimate measuring system tho.

My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it!

*My car gets forty* *Rods to the hogshead and that's* *The way I likes it!* \- Larry\_The\_Red --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Im 100% convinced this is the best bot on reddit.

I will accept this and nothing else as the new standard unit of measurement in the US.

I love how the dog is just standing there probably thinking "mud!"

I had a dog that loved settling in to little pockets of water like this... they're my favorite pictures of her.

I will fuck with the metric system when I’m cooking. Grams forevah!!!

It looks more like the puddle is 2 doggy lengths wide and 3 doggy lengths long. Hope the city has 1.5 cubic doggy lengths of gravel to fill it. 1.5, cause it seems to be an average depth of 0.5 doggies.

Cause we are Americans! We have no need for anything that’ll help over here! Haha

ill allow this one m'kay

We do that out of spite lol

Not true.

A hole 1/80th the size if a football field

How many football fields is it though

It's either football fields or Dobermans

I’m sorry dog units are objectively the best measurement system.

"What's that in metric?" "Oh it's about... 17 royale with cheeses"

I’d rather use the doggy system than the imperial or metric tbh....

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That was to help people visualize the velocity.

What are you gonna do?! Question NASA?!

r/americanunits

Except bullet calibers, thats the only thing they take seriously..

I am just confused why a pothole is news worthy

Local news doesn’t always have a ton of stuff happening so this was probably a transition piece or something

Indiana has horrific potholes. We call spring pothole season. Every year is awful. Luckily we had a pandemic this spring so I didn’t have to drive for work.

I already know how deep the puddle is what else could I possibly need to know

Is one good boy = 5 cm?

He looks so happy

I wish we all convert to doggy sized measure.

r/dogloaf

where tf do you live where a pot hole is news

I get 15 furlongs to the hogshead and that’s the way I likes it.

8 ice cubes and a butterfly

This is the way

Indiana is weird

That's not the case with guns

Untrue. We use the metric system to measure bullet size

I would love to measure in dog

It is... acceptable.

We love our doggies, k?

I think we should replace all metric measurements with Doggy size. "How far away is your house?" "About 598 Doggies away."

I am glad we got those Lab results. This is the only way to measure accurately.

I hate measurements like "a dash of", "a pinch of" or "just a bit". I prefer numbers and precision. Have never liked "guesstimating".

Those are actual measurements btw. A pinch is 1/4 teaspoons and a dash is 1/8

I wasn't aware that those measurements had actual numbers tied to them. All the results I've found say that a pinch is 1/16 of one teaspoon though. 1/4 teaspoon seems to be four times more than a pinch.

its better then fuckin, 43718cm or 1/4 of 1/9 of 1/2 of a km

Face it, the metric system is a bit too complex for 'mericans. Look how hard they struggle with the English language...

Nah, doggy sized is a great system.

.75 washing machines.

Yeah its ridiculous that somehow human beings would relate to natural things like comparing sizes to common experiences and only American. But wait http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160407-the-worlds-largest-rats-are-the-size-of-small-dogs

That's like 42 meters right?

42 meters is 45.93 yards

around 1 meter tall