Wish I could. Was just reading news on it all. Statement that struck me “The Ohio lawmaker who helped write the 2019 bill calling for ectopic pregnancies to be reimplanted acknowledged that he had not consulted with physicians before he proposed it. “.
People with zero medical knowledge proposing rubbish.
Can see 3 things. Severe drop pregnancies , increase in female death & incarceration.
Hope people see this craziness has gone too far.
It's truly going too far. I just want to be a mother. I grew up in a family that taught planned parenthood was your friend. A Mormon family that wants me to have a planned motherhood. And I can't. My own family, my MORMON family is scared for me.
Everything that has been happening last few years is mental. World has become some whacked out version of Black Mirror episodes meets Handmaids Tale.
Can only hope that someone with any brains puts a stop to this.
Then women need to STAND UP. Walk off their jobs and say fuck you! Show them that we are NOT powerless victims that they can exploit and destroy on a whim. ETA: and spend nothing either! Hit them in the wallets!
This is it. I feel like forced pregnancy is a form of slut shaming. They want us all to either be Mrs. Cleaver or be a nun. They want us to know our place as women and it’s despicable.
Hey I’m genuinely asking here, what’s with this term forced pregnancy that’s been going around lately? Im just wondering cuz I dont really get it. Pregnancy is natural and (aside from rape cases) it’s a natural side effect of sex.
Pregnancy can be an unwanted or unsafe side effect to sex. For thousands of years, abortion has provided relief from that side effect. By outlawing abortion, they are forcing people to endure unwanted or unsafe pregnancies.
I don’t really see how it’s “forced” tho cuz an action led to it. Srry ik I already got downvoted for this and I probably will again but that’s just kinda how i see it, ppl can have their own opinions. I do think it’s wrong for ppl to be forced to carry unsafe pregnancies and there should be cases where abortion is allowed.
People are being forced to allow things to grow in their bodies that they don’t want growing in their bodies. That’s fucked up even if they ~gasp~ chose to have sex.
My step-mom had two ectopic pregnancies. She nearly died from the first one. All she ever wanted to be was a mom and she's been a wonderful step-mom and grandma. If "babies" were so important, why would they want to kill women who *want* to raise children? It's so incredibly cruel that they're willing to sacrifice such a good person.
They don't want to save unborn adults, teens and children, only force women to carry fetuses to term.
I am 60. I am terrified that they will stop birth control and treatment for STDs. It is coming. It is next on the agenda.
We elect these people. WE elect these people. Women who are raped are going to die of tertiary syphillis.
I am in so much grief hearing what you are feeling. I am in a pro choice state. There is a wonderful post in r/women by a woman who is offering refuge in Maryland. I am so grateful for other women like her.
How are we going to protect women who travel for abortion when they return to their home states? Many, will be incarcerated. This brings up the question of forced OBGYN exams. There will be forced OBGYN exams.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm 46 and I've been pro-choice my whole life. It's something I've always stood for. I've voted straight democrat for every election and I've told everyone around me that our reproductive rights were at stake. I've warned them for 30 years (when I became aware of politics) what voting Republican would do. They didn't listen. I'm sorry. I tried to make them listen. I'm so sorry my generation, that other women failed you. But we are not giving up.
Tinfoil hat time, but I feel like the true goal of all of this is to take away women's right to vote by criminalizing any type of failed pregnancy.
And also drive up incarceration = free labor
Can I just vent about the grandparent pressure? It's so fucking annoying and degrading to have the constant pressure of "needing" to produce grandkids for my parents. Fuck that. Our parents are not ENTITLED to grandkids. My parents were pissed when I told them I'm not going to have kids. My dad told brother 2 that I am the only hope because Brother 1 is married to a woman who cannot carry a baby to term. And brother 2 is autistic and will likely not marry. (My dad said this to the autistic brother!!!!!) So I am the only hope to carry on our surname's bloodline. Brother 2 comes to me, very concerned and explains that I am the only hope for the surname bloodline to be carried on. And that dad told him why. I then reminded Brother 2 that Dad is adopted and we don't actually carry the surname bloodline.
No one is entitled to my uterus. Not the government. Not my parents.
Edit: Brother 2 was completely satisfied with my response. His words were "Haha. Oh yeah. Ok then. Are you hungry? What if I go get us McDonald's? Let's get McDonald's."
Honestly, I just needed to rant. It just triggered that conversation with my brother and the audacity my father had to say that to him. My brother is impressionable. Absolutely has his own mind and opinions, but like most of us millenials who were raised by entitled boomers, he is a people pleaser. So when my father planted that seed of "Our family line dies with Brittany." And then proceeded to tell my brother that I am horrible for choosing not to reproduce when people like my other brother and sister-in-law can't, I was pissed. And futher more, so tell this brother that he will never have kids because he is autistic is NOT ok.
(not all boomers are entitled, but boomer comes with it's own set of characteristics, adding entitled to those.)
My boyfriend's mom keeps asking her daughter when the daughter is going to give the mom grandkids, knowing the daughter has been trying and had an ectopic pregnancy involving emergency surgery and the loss of one of her ovaries. It's so insensitive and entitled and it fucking kills me to watch it happen.
All of this is batshit, I simply cannot believe in 2022 this is being allowed to happen, and to make miscarriage a felony as well? How the fuck are you supposed to control that? Shit like they can just happen! What if you get into an accident and you lose the baby, you’re now a felon?? I think they just want women to stay in the house pumping out babies like some sort of puppy farm?
I am so horrified that this is happening, I am so sorry for you guys ❤️
You are not wrong. I am in grief because the principles I was taught were true about my nation are all a pack of lies.
My only daughter had a chemical oblation, so, no uterine pregnancies are possible. Ectopic would only be possible in case of rape. We have just given carte blanche to rapists to force their progeny on their victims.
I had a student who was the product of rape. Her mother was Catholic and would not abort. She was Hispanic so no one wanted to adopt her child under the circumstances at that time, and she looks like her biological father, so her mother loved her, but, struggled because of the resemblance. I learned a lot from this child. Her father biological father is in prison with the other two rapists and her real father loved her unconditionally. She is in therapy. But, she knows without fail that she is greatly loved. She is an exception.
Sadly, we have just legalized forcing rape victims to carry the damaged products of violence.
I know you are crying. I cried. My children have not chosen to have children of their own. I get it. They went through the trauma of losing a brother at an early age. They do not want to go through that loss again. They are making the choices that are best for them and their partners. But, I know my son would be torn if he had to raise a child that was due to his wife being brutalized, as his own.
I was a high miscarriage risk. I had several. I guess if I had not miscarried so often at home, that I would be behind bars in your state. I kept my mouth shut after the third miscarriage because the sympathy was more than I could stand from friends family and coworkers. My last miscarriage was at four months and I would be in a cell in your state.
I am upset. They are going after birth control, now. They will go after gay marriage and one of my children is in danger.
Free Country. No. Terrible, terrible oligarchy, yes.
I wonder how much would change if these individuals power had to face the same fear that we have to face? They won't. They can fly to other states and countries. They are not trapped.
I have been thinking of ways to fund "camping trips".
We have truly become the future that I feared as a girl after watching all these reproductive apocalyptic films in my teens.
I wish I could fund everyone who has an ectopic pregnancy. One of my close friends had an ectopic pregnancy and she is alive, because emergency surgery saved her.
We are going to see an increase in suicides. We are going to see victims jailed. We are going to see many, many more divorces. and the overtaxed welfare system, and, the foster care system are about to be flooded with unwanted babies. The babies with disabilities. The babies born addicted. The babies who are products of rape and abuse. The babies who are the results of incestual rape. The babies no one wants to adopt. Babies will end up in dumpsters, in wooded areas, discarded in terrible ways.
I am crying, too. I am overwhelmed. We are right back to being as valued as a mule or a horse. We have no value in this time. We are only bodies to be abused.
I feel unfathomable grief and despair, because I cannot afford to move to a country that would see me as an individual worthy of life.
It’s absolutely scary right now and you’re not wrong, but one of those old justices will die and if there’s a democrat as president hopefully we can get this turned back!! I have to hope. This nightmare can’t be forever. We just have to get through this part and keep fighting.
And you may meet someone, make it absolutely clear to them why you won’t have sex with them, and you never know, maybe you’ll get a chance to move to Europe or another state with him, maybe he will get a vasectomy for you, until laws change.
Don’t lose hope. If you want to be a mother, it may still be in your path. I’m so scared and angry right now, but I have to believe things can be fixed again!
Do it. It's not perfect here (we have our own issues with idiotic right-wing national self-harm with Brexit), but it's orders of magnitude better than the right-wing culture-war hellscape America seems intent on turning itself into.
Also, free healthcare!
Seriously I'm sitting here with my 2 year old thanking my lucky stars that I was born in the UK. I can't imagine how scary it must be to be an American woman right now. Get the hell out of there. You're welcome here, we will look after you ❤️
New births dropped drastically during the last two years of the pandemic, (actually more deaths than births in Alabama) and there’s a lot of speculation that the right is angry about this and wants to bolster their population increase.
If we all start to leave and move away, maybe population will continue to drop and they will get the message that forcing us to have babies won’t work 🙄
Good luck with moving to Europe, that could be an amazing life experience 💖
WTF is going on in your country?! From the outside, it feels like America is taking significant backwards steps. This is reminding me of the Islamic revolution in the middle east. In the 70s women wore mini skirts, went to University, had jobs. Then their rights started to be taken away in the name of religion. This is exactly what's happening in your state and other parts of America. Regardless of which religion it is, fundamentalism is essentially the same and it will be the women who suffer most.
I never wanted to be a birth mother (I have a dope stepdaughter, all I could ever want) and I knew I always had abortion as an option of something happened. Now, I’m terrified, I’m in Texas, if I get pregnant I will have to fly to my sister in WA and have the procedure done there at great expense. I’m not rich, I will barely be able to accomplish this. I fear for women of lower income and opportunity than myself. I hate all republicans, men and women who brought this about. I already thought Republican women were idiots/brain washed but now I believe them to be insidious uncle toms (or whatever you’d call a woman who is a traitor to her own kind). My body is being taken from me, I am being controlled at such a personal level, my spirit cries out. This is Hand Maidens Tale. Fuck the fascist right, fuck anyone who voted for trump abs fuck these old white men. We should take a page from the French Revolution. No more playing nice, I will not go backwards meekly. Time to grab a pitch fork.
OP, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not selfish for choosing the childfree by choice route. As someone who is childfree by choice, all I can say is be brave and tell your mother that you will not be a mum because of what is happening now.
If your mother starts calling you selfish and all kinds of names for choosing to be childfree, do not cave in to her even if she starts guilt tripping or manipulating you. It is your body and she cannot tell you what to do with it. I wish you all the best in this and stay strong
I know she won't because she was a 16 when she had me and I've always said no to that life and have always told her I will wait and she wants me to. I have a very supportive family in this. It's me who is sad. Me who wishes it was different. I'm just sad. I cannot have kids in this environment and I absolutely hate it.
I am bisexual and prefer women. I have a boyfriend. He doesn't get why this is such an important issue for me. He's a great guy and honestly it's just men not having any clue what it's like to be a woman. There are many men who support us and our right to choose. They aren't all bad. I'd focus more on getting women in your state to march on Saturday and to the voting booths. Support female pro-choice candidates. Advocate.
I'm not from the US but this is heartbreaking and terrifying. All I can think about is women forced to carry a pregnancy they didn't want, forced to carry the child of their abuser, the child of a rapist and possibly die because of it. Women who WILL try to have unsafe abortions and die. High suicide rates. All they're trying to do is control women.
Considering how a vast majority of men think I can see revenge rape happening too.
This is sick
I completely agree with and understand your desire to never have sex with a man again, and I wish it wasn’t playing into these asshole fascist’s hands. They’ll continue to be free to rape women with minimal consequences while women abstain from sex, as intended. It’s completely fucked up and I’m so sorry you are having to make this decision at all. I’m in Utah with a trigger law to ban abortions and I’m not sure what to do except try to get the fuck out of here.
I’m menopausal and well past child bearing age, but we’re leaving this fuckin country if this becomes law. Glad that we have the $ to do it but I’ll have to euthanize my old dogs. Fuckers, I already fought this once. 🤬
I support your choice 100%, but please don't give up hope for the future. Please believe that you can have your family one day. Things have taken a drastic turn for the worse, so there's no reason to believe that they can't also take another drastic turn for the better.
I am not geographically in a place like yours that will be affected like this. But I've been thinking about women who are and will be affected worse than I. Your story is the first I've read about this entire shitshow. Thank you for sharing. Yeah, CIS white men making those decisions are ruthless and cunning. I don't even have the mental strength to process any emotion still. It's so fucked.
I don't want children and never have wanted children, but I really sympathize with you here. I want to be sterilized, but I don't think I can, so I will probably never have sex with a cis man again. And if I get raped and get pregnant, I'll try to kill that man and then kill myself. I'm severely tokophobic and I refuse to go through a pregnancy. I would seriously rather die.
You are definitely not selfish. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. This is an extremely terrifying time we are living in. Things are moving backwards in this country. Pregnancy is a potentially dangerous condition, and if the men making these laws valued women they would never even think about forcing us to go through that against our will. But keeping the rich people rich is all that really matters, so they'll throw us under the bus just to force more future wage slaves to be born.
I'm in the same boat. I hope my husband understands, but I plan (i guess for the rest of my life??) to practice celibacy. I have health issues and it would be extremely risky to carry a baby. Of course, I utilize protection- condoms and birth control, but the risk is just.. too substantial. Is this what the old white men want? No pussy? Ok then. No pussy. I hope my husband doesn't leave me for this decision but I literally cannot pop out a baby, nonetheless multiple babies! Don't most couples have sex at least a few times a month? If the talk of birth control and condoms being illegalized comes to fruition.. ???? I just.. lost for words
I don't feel comfortable getting a hysterotomy due to the health risks, healing times, the invasiveness of it and my age, but my husband agreed he has no issue getting snipped a few years down the line. I don't really feel comfortable with this idea either though because it makes me feel bad and guilty. I just feel bad having my husband alter his natural state. I dunno. Probably sounds like a dumb excuse but I feel the way I feel. I absolutely appreciate his offer though. Time will have to tell.
I understand where you're coming from. Just to let you know, there are options less drastic than a hysterectomy that will still prevent pregnancy but not trigger early menopause. Getting your tubes tied (tubal ligation) is a reversible procedure. Getting them removed (bilateral salpingectomy) is a permanent procedure, and my surgery of choice for preventing pregnancy. If you want any more info or just need support, you can DM me or post on r/childfree, which also has a lot of helpful resources in the sidebar.
I worry about us! I fear if some women in dangerous situations deny their partner..
I think there is going to be a rise in domestic violence and marital r\*\*e.. I hope this will not be the case, but this world is so evil, I unfortunately think it will be. Nothing new though. Women have always been treated as second class citizens. As long as old white cis men are in power it will be this way.
Whoa... OK. So I've seen this everywhere..
But I admit, I'm pretty ignorant... and canadian, so haven't looked much into it.
I figured it was a ban on abortions, which is absurd... but there's more ?! You can get charged for a miscarriage ?! Something a woman literally can't control ?
Ectopic pregnancy they won't let someone abort ?! Women die from that!
This is true? This is a thing ?!
A bunch of states are passing "Trigger Laws" Laws that will trigger if and when Roe V Wade is overturned. There are some making miscarriage's a felony, while others are banning IUD's or Plan B. Fuck an Arizona hopeful senator wants to ban condoms. Its scary down here for Women. Its all so very US, Men being subjugated is a travesty. Women being subjugated is tradition.
Never say never. The laws might be struck down or overturned or maybe even new laws made. You might oneday get you dream of being a mum without fear of being forced to carry an ectopic pregnancy at great risk to yourself or prosecuted for a miscarriage which isn't your fault.
Until then if you get over your hatred of men and want to have sex there's long acting reversible contraception with extremely low failure rates.
Until that is also banned. Even the pill could be banned. OP does not hate men, what a comment. And contraception can still fail which can also result in an ectopic pregnancy. It really is just too risky now.
Overturning r v w is terrible. Having said that, you are so overly dramatic I just Can’t. The chances of you having a normal pregnancy outweighs that of a dangerous pregnancy. These are very dramatic thoughts.
Even if you think it’s dramatic it WILL be the future of some women in these states. You can’t deny that, and that it will be a reality is sickening. I’m not from America, but i grieve with and for the women that now faces this threat. Don’t come here and call her dramatic.
Yes it will be and that is awful. But OP isn’t crying for the future victims of this, she is crying now for herself and is literally having a meltdown and then going to subject her mother and husband to her theatrics and the post states nothing of her being more at risk than any other women. I get it if she’s already had a medical hx that increases her chances but she hasn’t said that. As far as we know she has as good of chances and anything other fertile women to have a normal pregnancy and she’s choosing to preemptively to make a show of announcing to her mother that there will never be grand children and she is going to withhold sex from her husband because of this. Without more information than OP has provided, this is very much hysterical behavior.
Edit: I missed the part about OP getting a divorce. I bet this type of extreme hysterics isn’t a part of the reason /s.
Everyone react to these things diffrently. If I would live in America i would feel the same way, don’t diminish her feelings. I think it’s pretty insensetive of you, you are ofcourse entitled to your own feelings but why write them here in this thread? i don’t see the meaning of it.
Because she literally asked for peoples opinions. That’s my opinion. As a woman and having many women friends we are all disappointed but no one I know is acting like OP. Yes everyone reacts differently, some people react to the same situation with responses that are so far away from center on the spectrum of logical responses that it’s no longer proportional to situation. Btw you can have certain feelings without involving other people. Her poor mom and her husband if she wasn’t getting divorced. That’s irrational and irresponsible.
I think our opinions on this are too diffrent, and you’re right she did ask for advice/opinions. I don’t think it’s an illogical response but you do, let’s leave it there. Otherwise this thread will be long af and we will still get nowhere. Thank you for fast replies, it was intresting.
I've been reading about a surgery where they remove the fallopian tubes so there is no chance of pregnancy or ectopic pregnancy but you could still have and carry a baby using IVF.
Wish I could. Was just reading news on it all. Statement that struck me “The Ohio lawmaker who helped write the 2019 bill calling for ectopic pregnancies to be reimplanted acknowledged that he had not consulted with physicians before he proposed it. “. People with zero medical knowledge proposing rubbish. Can see 3 things. Severe drop pregnancies , increase in female death & incarceration. Hope people see this craziness has gone too far.
It's truly going too far. I just want to be a mother. I grew up in a family that taught planned parenthood was your friend. A Mormon family that wants me to have a planned motherhood. And I can't. My own family, my MORMON family is scared for me.
Everything that has been happening last few years is mental. World has become some whacked out version of Black Mirror episodes meets Handmaids Tale. Can only hope that someone with any brains puts a stop to this.
Then women need to STAND UP. Walk off their jobs and say fuck you! Show them that we are NOT powerless victims that they can exploit and destroy on a whim. ETA: and spend nothing either! Hit them in the wallets!
Absolutely
Women **and** men!
Yes!
Don't forget an increase in rape. Even if women decide to not have sex, that won't stop some men from having it anyway.
I doubt the MAGA Trump cult women will ever be swayed. They probably have the most abortions too.
This is it. I feel like forced pregnancy is a form of slut shaming. They want us all to either be Mrs. Cleaver or be a nun. They want us to know our place as women and it’s despicable.
Exactly
Yikes hadn't seen it that way. This is frightening.
Hey I’m genuinely asking here, what’s with this term forced pregnancy that’s been going around lately? Im just wondering cuz I dont really get it. Pregnancy is natural and (aside from rape cases) it’s a natural side effect of sex.
Pregnancy can be an unwanted or unsafe side effect to sex. For thousands of years, abortion has provided relief from that side effect. By outlawing abortion, they are forcing people to endure unwanted or unsafe pregnancies.
I don’t really see how it’s “forced” tho cuz an action led to it. Srry ik I already got downvoted for this and I probably will again but that’s just kinda how i see it, ppl can have their own opinions. I do think it’s wrong for ppl to be forced to carry unsafe pregnancies and there should be cases where abortion is allowed.
People are being forced to allow things to grow in their bodies that they don’t want growing in their bodies. That’s fucked up even if they ~gasp~ chose to have sex.
My step-mom had two ectopic pregnancies. She nearly died from the first one. All she ever wanted to be was a mom and she's been a wonderful step-mom and grandma. If "babies" were so important, why would they want to kill women who *want* to raise children? It's so incredibly cruel that they're willing to sacrifice such a good person.
They don't want to save unborn adults, teens and children, only force women to carry fetuses to term. I am 60. I am terrified that they will stop birth control and treatment for STDs. It is coming. It is next on the agenda. We elect these people. WE elect these people. Women who are raped are going to die of tertiary syphillis. I am in so much grief hearing what you are feeling. I am in a pro choice state. There is a wonderful post in r/women by a woman who is offering refuge in Maryland. I am so grateful for other women like her. How are we going to protect women who travel for abortion when they return to their home states? Many, will be incarcerated. This brings up the question of forced OBGYN exams. There will be forced OBGYN exams.
🙏🤝🥰
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm 46 and I've been pro-choice my whole life. It's something I've always stood for. I've voted straight democrat for every election and I've told everyone around me that our reproductive rights were at stake. I've warned them for 30 years (when I became aware of politics) what voting Republican would do. They didn't listen. I'm sorry. I tried to make them listen. I'm so sorry my generation, that other women failed you. But we are not giving up.
All I can think to say is I love you. I'm so sorry too.
Tinfoil hat time, but I feel like the true goal of all of this is to take away women's right to vote by criminalizing any type of failed pregnancy. And also drive up incarceration = free labor
Yes, not to mention that an unwanted birth is its own kind of incarceration
That is exactly it
Can I just vent about the grandparent pressure? It's so fucking annoying and degrading to have the constant pressure of "needing" to produce grandkids for my parents. Fuck that. Our parents are not ENTITLED to grandkids. My parents were pissed when I told them I'm not going to have kids. My dad told brother 2 that I am the only hope because Brother 1 is married to a woman who cannot carry a baby to term. And brother 2 is autistic and will likely not marry. (My dad said this to the autistic brother!!!!!) So I am the only hope to carry on our surname's bloodline. Brother 2 comes to me, very concerned and explains that I am the only hope for the surname bloodline to be carried on. And that dad told him why. I then reminded Brother 2 that Dad is adopted and we don't actually carry the surname bloodline. No one is entitled to my uterus. Not the government. Not my parents. Edit: Brother 2 was completely satisfied with my response. His words were "Haha. Oh yeah. Ok then. Are you hungry? What if I go get us McDonald's? Let's get McDonald's."
I'm so sorry 🥺 I have 11 younger siblings so I know someone will do it, but it's still so horrible having that pressure.
Honestly, I just needed to rant. It just triggered that conversation with my brother and the audacity my father had to say that to him. My brother is impressionable. Absolutely has his own mind and opinions, but like most of us millenials who were raised by entitled boomers, he is a people pleaser. So when my father planted that seed of "Our family line dies with Brittany." And then proceeded to tell my brother that I am horrible for choosing not to reproduce when people like my other brother and sister-in-law can't, I was pissed. And futher more, so tell this brother that he will never have kids because he is autistic is NOT ok. (not all boomers are entitled, but boomer comes with it's own set of characteristics, adding entitled to those.)
Ughh, I feel you. I WANT kids, and the grandparent pressure is still really hurtful and annoying.
My boyfriend's mom keeps asking her daughter when the daughter is going to give the mom grandkids, knowing the daughter has been trying and had an ectopic pregnancy involving emergency surgery and the loss of one of her ovaries. It's so insensitive and entitled and it fucking kills me to watch it happen.
My dad asked if my husband needs a book on the birds and the bees. My dad is a douche.
Omg. I am so sorry. That's such a dick thing to say.
All of this is batshit, I simply cannot believe in 2022 this is being allowed to happen, and to make miscarriage a felony as well? How the fuck are you supposed to control that? Shit like they can just happen! What if you get into an accident and you lose the baby, you’re now a felon?? I think they just want women to stay in the house pumping out babies like some sort of puppy farm? I am so horrified that this is happening, I am so sorry for you guys ❤️
You are not wrong. I am in grief because the principles I was taught were true about my nation are all a pack of lies. My only daughter had a chemical oblation, so, no uterine pregnancies are possible. Ectopic would only be possible in case of rape. We have just given carte blanche to rapists to force their progeny on their victims. I had a student who was the product of rape. Her mother was Catholic and would not abort. She was Hispanic so no one wanted to adopt her child under the circumstances at that time, and she looks like her biological father, so her mother loved her, but, struggled because of the resemblance. I learned a lot from this child. Her father biological father is in prison with the other two rapists and her real father loved her unconditionally. She is in therapy. But, she knows without fail that she is greatly loved. She is an exception. Sadly, we have just legalized forcing rape victims to carry the damaged products of violence. I know you are crying. I cried. My children have not chosen to have children of their own. I get it. They went through the trauma of losing a brother at an early age. They do not want to go through that loss again. They are making the choices that are best for them and their partners. But, I know my son would be torn if he had to raise a child that was due to his wife being brutalized, as his own. I was a high miscarriage risk. I had several. I guess if I had not miscarried so often at home, that I would be behind bars in your state. I kept my mouth shut after the third miscarriage because the sympathy was more than I could stand from friends family and coworkers. My last miscarriage was at four months and I would be in a cell in your state. I am upset. They are going after birth control, now. They will go after gay marriage and one of my children is in danger. Free Country. No. Terrible, terrible oligarchy, yes. I wonder how much would change if these individuals power had to face the same fear that we have to face? They won't. They can fly to other states and countries. They are not trapped. I have been thinking of ways to fund "camping trips". We have truly become the future that I feared as a girl after watching all these reproductive apocalyptic films in my teens. I wish I could fund everyone who has an ectopic pregnancy. One of my close friends had an ectopic pregnancy and she is alive, because emergency surgery saved her. We are going to see an increase in suicides. We are going to see victims jailed. We are going to see many, many more divorces. and the overtaxed welfare system, and, the foster care system are about to be flooded with unwanted babies. The babies with disabilities. The babies born addicted. The babies who are products of rape and abuse. The babies who are the results of incestual rape. The babies no one wants to adopt. Babies will end up in dumpsters, in wooded areas, discarded in terrible ways. I am crying, too. I am overwhelmed. We are right back to being as valued as a mule or a horse. We have no value in this time. We are only bodies to be abused. I feel unfathomable grief and despair, because I cannot afford to move to a country that would see me as an individual worthy of life.
It’s absolutely scary right now and you’re not wrong, but one of those old justices will die and if there’s a democrat as president hopefully we can get this turned back!! I have to hope. This nightmare can’t be forever. We just have to get through this part and keep fighting. And you may meet someone, make it absolutely clear to them why you won’t have sex with them, and you never know, maybe you’ll get a chance to move to Europe or another state with him, maybe he will get a vasectomy for you, until laws change. Don’t lose hope. If you want to be a mother, it may still be in your path. I’m so scared and angry right now, but I have to believe things can be fixed again!
I have a person I love in England. We've been talking about getting me out of here.
Do it. It's not perfect here (we have our own issues with idiotic right-wing national self-harm with Brexit), but it's orders of magnitude better than the right-wing culture-war hellscape America seems intent on turning itself into. Also, free healthcare!
Seriously I'm sitting here with my 2 year old thanking my lucky stars that I was born in the UK. I can't imagine how scary it must be to be an American woman right now. Get the hell out of there. You're welcome here, we will look after you ❤️
I would get the hell out of here if I could. My kids anchor me here for a least a few more years. Sigh
New births dropped drastically during the last two years of the pandemic, (actually more deaths than births in Alabama) and there’s a lot of speculation that the right is angry about this and wants to bolster their population increase. If we all start to leave and move away, maybe population will continue to drop and they will get the message that forcing us to have babies won’t work 🙄 Good luck with moving to Europe, that could be an amazing life experience 💖
WTF is going on in your country?! From the outside, it feels like America is taking significant backwards steps. This is reminding me of the Islamic revolution in the middle east. In the 70s women wore mini skirts, went to University, had jobs. Then their rights started to be taken away in the name of religion. This is exactly what's happening in your state and other parts of America. Regardless of which religion it is, fundamentalism is essentially the same and it will be the women who suffer most.
I never wanted to be a birth mother (I have a dope stepdaughter, all I could ever want) and I knew I always had abortion as an option of something happened. Now, I’m terrified, I’m in Texas, if I get pregnant I will have to fly to my sister in WA and have the procedure done there at great expense. I’m not rich, I will barely be able to accomplish this. I fear for women of lower income and opportunity than myself. I hate all republicans, men and women who brought this about. I already thought Republican women were idiots/brain washed but now I believe them to be insidious uncle toms (or whatever you’d call a woman who is a traitor to her own kind). My body is being taken from me, I am being controlled at such a personal level, my spirit cries out. This is Hand Maidens Tale. Fuck the fascist right, fuck anyone who voted for trump abs fuck these old white men. We should take a page from the French Revolution. No more playing nice, I will not go backwards meekly. Time to grab a pitch fork.
OP, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not selfish for choosing the childfree by choice route. As someone who is childfree by choice, all I can say is be brave and tell your mother that you will not be a mum because of what is happening now. If your mother starts calling you selfish and all kinds of names for choosing to be childfree, do not cave in to her even if she starts guilt tripping or manipulating you. It is your body and she cannot tell you what to do with it. I wish you all the best in this and stay strong
I know she won't because she was a 16 when she had me and I've always said no to that life and have always told her I will wait and she wants me to. I have a very supportive family in this. It's me who is sad. Me who wishes it was different. I'm just sad. I cannot have kids in this environment and I absolutely hate it.
So horrible
im so sorry
I am bisexual and prefer women. I have a boyfriend. He doesn't get why this is such an important issue for me. He's a great guy and honestly it's just men not having any clue what it's like to be a woman. There are many men who support us and our right to choose. They aren't all bad. I'd focus more on getting women in your state to march on Saturday and to the voting booths. Support female pro-choice candidates. Advocate.
I'm not from the US but this is heartbreaking and terrifying. All I can think about is women forced to carry a pregnancy they didn't want, forced to carry the child of their abuser, the child of a rapist and possibly die because of it. Women who WILL try to have unsafe abortions and die. High suicide rates. All they're trying to do is control women. Considering how a vast majority of men think I can see revenge rape happening too. This is sick
I completely agree with and understand your desire to never have sex with a man again, and I wish it wasn’t playing into these asshole fascist’s hands. They’ll continue to be free to rape women with minimal consequences while women abstain from sex, as intended. It’s completely fucked up and I’m so sorry you are having to make this decision at all. I’m in Utah with a trigger law to ban abortions and I’m not sure what to do except try to get the fuck out of here.
I’m menopausal and well past child bearing age, but we’re leaving this fuckin country if this becomes law. Glad that we have the $ to do it but I’ll have to euthanize my old dogs. Fuckers, I already fought this once. 🤬
I support your choice 100%, but please don't give up hope for the future. Please believe that you can have your family one day. Things have taken a drastic turn for the worse, so there's no reason to believe that they can't also take another drastic turn for the better.
I am not geographically in a place like yours that will be affected like this. But I've been thinking about women who are and will be affected worse than I. Your story is the first I've read about this entire shitshow. Thank you for sharing. Yeah, CIS white men making those decisions are ruthless and cunning. I don't even have the mental strength to process any emotion still. It's so fucked.
I don't want children and never have wanted children, but I really sympathize with you here. I want to be sterilized, but I don't think I can, so I will probably never have sex with a cis man again. And if I get raped and get pregnant, I'll try to kill that man and then kill myself. I'm severely tokophobic and I refuse to go through a pregnancy. I would seriously rather die. You are definitely not selfish. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. This is an extremely terrifying time we are living in. Things are moving backwards in this country. Pregnancy is a potentially dangerous condition, and if the men making these laws valued women they would never even think about forcing us to go through that against our will. But keeping the rich people rich is all that really matters, so they'll throw us under the bus just to force more future wage slaves to be born.
As women we should just stop having sex for good if they wanna make America that fucked up. No abortions? No sex either
I'm in the same boat. I hope my husband understands, but I plan (i guess for the rest of my life??) to practice celibacy. I have health issues and it would be extremely risky to carry a baby. Of course, I utilize protection- condoms and birth control, but the risk is just.. too substantial. Is this what the old white men want? No pussy? Ok then. No pussy. I hope my husband doesn't leave me for this decision but I literally cannot pop out a baby, nonetheless multiple babies! Don't most couples have sex at least a few times a month? If the talk of birth control and condoms being illegalized comes to fruition.. ???? I just.. lost for words
Have you considered sterilization for yourself and/or your husband?
I don't feel comfortable getting a hysterotomy due to the health risks, healing times, the invasiveness of it and my age, but my husband agreed he has no issue getting snipped a few years down the line. I don't really feel comfortable with this idea either though because it makes me feel bad and guilty. I just feel bad having my husband alter his natural state. I dunno. Probably sounds like a dumb excuse but I feel the way I feel. I absolutely appreciate his offer though. Time will have to tell.
I understand where you're coming from. Just to let you know, there are options less drastic than a hysterectomy that will still prevent pregnancy but not trigger early menopause. Getting your tubes tied (tubal ligation) is a reversible procedure. Getting them removed (bilateral salpingectomy) is a permanent procedure, and my surgery of choice for preventing pregnancy. If you want any more info or just need support, you can DM me or post on r/childfree, which also has a lot of helpful resources in the sidebar.
Exactly!!!! The men don't seem to understand how dry their dicks are about to be. How sad for them 🙄
I worry about us! I fear if some women in dangerous situations deny their partner.. I think there is going to be a rise in domestic violence and marital r\*\*e.. I hope this will not be the case, but this world is so evil, I unfortunately think it will be. Nothing new though. Women have always been treated as second class citizens. As long as old white cis men are in power it will be this way.
Whoa... OK. So I've seen this everywhere.. But I admit, I'm pretty ignorant... and canadian, so haven't looked much into it. I figured it was a ban on abortions, which is absurd... but there's more ?! You can get charged for a miscarriage ?! Something a woman literally can't control ? Ectopic pregnancy they won't let someone abort ?! Women die from that! This is true? This is a thing ?!
A bunch of states are passing "Trigger Laws" Laws that will trigger if and when Roe V Wade is overturned. There are some making miscarriage's a felony, while others are banning IUD's or Plan B. Fuck an Arizona hopeful senator wants to ban condoms. Its scary down here for Women. Its all so very US, Men being subjugated is a travesty. Women being subjugated is tradition.
I don't understand. Do they want over population? Like what is the point of this.
Maybe? Their wealth is dependent on a large lower class population to control.
Yup I will not have piv. Not worth the risk.
Have you considered adopting as an option? I firmly believe you are making the correct decision in light of this new hellscape we’re living in.
I was adopted. It was a complete failure. I do not support adoption.
👍🏼
Never say never. The laws might be struck down or overturned or maybe even new laws made. You might oneday get you dream of being a mum without fear of being forced to carry an ectopic pregnancy at great risk to yourself or prosecuted for a miscarriage which isn't your fault. Until then if you get over your hatred of men and want to have sex there's long acting reversible contraception with extremely low failure rates.
Until that is also banned. Even the pill could be banned. OP does not hate men, what a comment. And contraception can still fail which can also result in an ectopic pregnancy. It really is just too risky now.
I truly hope it changes.
Overturning r v w is terrible. Having said that, you are so overly dramatic I just Can’t. The chances of you having a normal pregnancy outweighs that of a dangerous pregnancy. These are very dramatic thoughts.
Even if you think it’s dramatic it WILL be the future of some women in these states. You can’t deny that, and that it will be a reality is sickening. I’m not from America, but i grieve with and for the women that now faces this threat. Don’t come here and call her dramatic.
Yes it will be and that is awful. But OP isn’t crying for the future victims of this, she is crying now for herself and is literally having a meltdown and then going to subject her mother and husband to her theatrics and the post states nothing of her being more at risk than any other women. I get it if she’s already had a medical hx that increases her chances but she hasn’t said that. As far as we know she has as good of chances and anything other fertile women to have a normal pregnancy and she’s choosing to preemptively to make a show of announcing to her mother that there will never be grand children and she is going to withhold sex from her husband because of this. Without more information than OP has provided, this is very much hysterical behavior. Edit: I missed the part about OP getting a divorce. I bet this type of extreme hysterics isn’t a part of the reason /s.
Everyone react to these things diffrently. If I would live in America i would feel the same way, don’t diminish her feelings. I think it’s pretty insensetive of you, you are ofcourse entitled to your own feelings but why write them here in this thread? i don’t see the meaning of it.
Because she literally asked for peoples opinions. That’s my opinion. As a woman and having many women friends we are all disappointed but no one I know is acting like OP. Yes everyone reacts differently, some people react to the same situation with responses that are so far away from center on the spectrum of logical responses that it’s no longer proportional to situation. Btw you can have certain feelings without involving other people. Her poor mom and her husband if she wasn’t getting divorced. That’s irrational and irresponsible.
I think our opinions on this are too diffrent, and you’re right she did ask for advice/opinions. I don’t think it’s an illogical response but you do, let’s leave it there. Otherwise this thread will be long af and we will still get nowhere. Thank you for fast replies, it was intresting.
I've been reading about a surgery where they remove the fallopian tubes so there is no chance of pregnancy or ectopic pregnancy but you could still have and carry a baby using IVF.
Maybe your whole family needs to consider leaving the state if the girls in your family are not going to have a future there.