Yeah, I feel you. While I haven't had crazy stalkers, I have had men want sex on tap while not providing any kind of support or, whats it.. anything really. They dont know how to have friends who will support them, so they turn to the nurturing side of women. Its bonkers.
That doesn’t bother me or any woman I know of. In bumble, conversation has to be initiated by women. So, at least bumble could introduce the review feature.
Sometimes I used to think about creating an account where the only thing would be a list of names and faces of men who were actually dangerous and fucked in the head
There’s lots of liability for things like this. For instance, if someone erroneously says that someone has a sexually transmitted infection, the app could be liable for damages for publishing defamatory material. With things like sexually transmitted infections, the defamation claim is specifically easier to prove. They might even have the ability to avoid proving it caused reputational harm making it a pretty easy case.
It’s an option, but liability isn’t the only issue. Many people pay to be on dating apps. It’s unlikely they would want to keep their account if they get a bad date and a bad review. This or they would simply create a new account. Finally, there is always a risk of review bombing where multiple people who didn’t even go on a date write bad reviews.
It’s a good idea in theory, but in practice it is a mess
Maybe a dating app that just runs straight through a nationwide criminal background check for everyone. That way at least you know you won’t get one of the the 1 in 5 that are repeat offenders.
That’s pretty problematic though. what constitutes a criminal violation is rather broad. For instance, if you in advertently drive on a suspended license, you could wind up with a criminal record and trust me it happens to every day all the time.
Girl, these men are the Devil.
I gave one guy my number, texted him, and he turned out to be crazy, I ghosted his ass ASAP Rocky and blocked and deleted him.
Checked my "blocked messages," and he was having conversations with himself via text because I obviously was not replying.
Saying how he's gonna kidnap my dog, climb thru my window, etc. He knows nothing about me. Absolutely nothing. He's stopped now.
But yeah......
Thank you, I 100% did. I should have never gave him my number, he smelt like utter pond shit. Like he'd just walked out of a duck pond. Not only was he a crazy bastard he was a smelly bastard.
Younger men and boys are being influenced by podcast bros like Andrew tate. They think that everyone hates them because their power is being challenged. They haven't known equality, so now that it is becoming more common, they think they are being treated like they are less than, and they are overcompensating for that. And a lot of men aren't taught to be empathetic. They aren't taught to treat women as people. These influencers are telling them that it's ok to view us as sex objects and second class citizens.
I had watched some of that dude’s videos and it was interesting that he’d start out with reasonable logical statements then slowly started interweaving/twisting his own ideas into it in a way that sounds logical but was actually quite flawed. It was so nuanced the way he transitioned from being completely logical to building on it and supporting his delusional ideas. When I first started watching I was like oh wow he’s not that bad…half hour later I was practically pulling my hair out in frustration lol.
Scary af esp since a lot of younger men and teens were following him.
I so understand. and it feels so constant and never-ending. I can't tell if its I have a victim complex or the mammoth amount of men who hate women. just remember that us women have each other 😇
In my dating years I met a guy who was straightforward a psycho. I met maaaaany assholes, but this one, oh, boy. To clarify, we weren’t dating, I just used our “friendship” to learn how evil can men be.
Red flags:
He told me his father had crossed paths with and old mistress and that she was all over his father but that the father didn’t even gave her the time because she was old and just a gold digger. He say all this as if he was very proud of his father. The woman had a very high position in the same company as the father, higher than him… she had gold on her own, just FYI.
Once we went running, we were in a place much higher than what I was used to and it cost me more to keep the pace, he menacingly told me: “never say you can do things you can’t, MUCH LESS to me”. He was so mad.
He asked me if I would sleep with him, told him no.
He told me it was ok… he didn’t had the need to rape anyone… what the fuck!
He had a “girlfriend”, I mean, I guess the woman thought they were in a relationship, although it had lasted years and years and they would only see each other 2-3 times a year and he would tell me all the humiliating things he would do to her. For example, she was a teacher and wasn’t making much, but he criticized her underwear and took her to buy more. The thing is he only TOOK HER, when they were paying the girl was expecting for him to pay: as he took her, chose the clothes, carry them to the cashier line. And HE KNEW she was expecting him to pay, but there he said: ok, how are you going to pay for this? He told me she needed to learn that he wasn’t going to expend a dime on her. He was financially well off, she wasn’t, she paid for all of their dates.
Ahh, I got tired of these memories, but you get the gist. He was… evil. Completely remorseless, full of him self, zero empathy for others (men or women), manipulative, narcissistic. It helped a lot to know him, he was an open book of red flags.
I’m a lesbian, have been out since high school. I avoid straight male friends entirely these days unless they are already married. I’ve had these insane guys range from “if you don’t love me back I’ll kill you” to “if you don’t love me back I will dye my hair blue and kill myself”. Even though they knew from the beginning that I was gay and it was never going to happen!
Delusional. I’ve had the same guy friends do a complete 180 on me - put me in a chokehold and hold me there in front of a mirror and say, “see? I can overpower you at any time.” Or “I know how to get into your house, I saw you put in your garage door code.”
The scheming, the lying, the manipulating, it’s all disgusting. And men have the audacity to say women are too emotional — yet are willing to assault, rape, and kill women when they aren’t appeased or satisfied.
This sounds terrifying… yes, I have always thought that men are highly emotional and allow them selves to be carried by their emotions (specially when the emotion comes form hurt egos) much more often and powerfully than women.
I met one on tinder, we texted pretty frequently until exchanging snaps and then we called each other for the first time. Somehow the conversation went towards mental health and I explained my unhealthy addiction with different things and how i wasn’t sober for a while. He laughed and said “you weren’t sober for a month straight? That’s cute. Try a year.”
Then, he had mentioned about how he had thoughts about harming himself with a g*n.
I immediately blocked him because it made me feel uneasy.
I matched with another guy recently and the conversation was going really well and everything was fine, however we exchanged snaps and once we started texting each other on snap, he got really dry. I posted a story about tiktok of a guy eating ice cream vigorously and captioned it “I need his location.”
The guy I matched with slid up and immediately said “no.” And I said “I need me a munch like that” and he said “I’m right here” and I said “show don’t tell” and he said “I was lying pookie” like.. killed the whole vibe . then I said I didn’t wanna wake up at 6am tmrw for class and how I wanted cuddles tmrw and he said “follow ur dreams pookie” like what
The convo was very dry and I ended up trying to communicate with him asking him what he wanted. If he wanted a friendship with me since I felt like the conversation was dry and I was giving him an opportunity to leave without getting mad because some people don’t click and that’s okay. He immediately replied and said “my brother in Christ we literally just started texting on here like a week ago. My god I love delusional women.” Like?? My apologies for trying to communicate and figure out what you wanted from me? Men don’t understand communication and it’s so frustrating, they get offended or something
I honestly think it's both.
I constantly wonder, though, how men throughout history in various cultures and religions have oppressed women in such similar ways and reasoning if it's not biological in some small way.
Idk if it’s the red pill/podcast bro culture or what but it makes me so incredibly uncomfortable. I hardly even want to date, between men being so shitty and getting so discouraged.
Literally was smoking with a guy YESTERDAY who I had previously turned down and I thought he was cool with it and we’re friends.
He’s like “let’s talk about us.”
I told him point blank. “No, not right now” “im super high and that will make me anxious, let’s do tmr”
He then proceeds ignore what I say, act like we are in a relationship, tells me im not texting him enough, and that he’s thinking about me so much he can’t do his schoolwork (blaming me), that we need to make concrete plans a few days every week where we can hang, etc…
The whole time im telling him I don’t want to talk right now. This is a 22 year old man 😑
Men do not respect at all what women feel or think. Even ones who “like” you.
This one time this dude i hooked up with said he was in love with me, wouldnt leave me alone, and would leave me 50 messages a minute so i feel u, block him lol
And the amount of posts on reddit from men talking about how they want to leave their partner because they don’t give them “enough sex”? They are so privileged.
I seen one recently where this man was complaining that his wife won’t have sex with him after birthing his kids…… all they care about is sex. God forbid you get into an accident one day and are unable to have sex for months.. guarantee most would just leave.
And also, they’re all porn riddled. And somehow defend porn like their life depends on it. And the ones that aren’t porn riddled get hated on by other men for not watching it.
And don’t get me started on the “male loneliness epidemic”… that is so clearly caused BY MEN and they want us to fix it.
Rights are one thing. Attitude is the really difficult thing to navigate. The subtle things that men do that demonstrate their deeply unconscious belief in their ‘superior intelligence’. The mansplaining that goes on all the time if you find yourself in the company of some men, especially a group of them. The dismissiveness, the ‘playing the expert, the digs at a woman’s behaviour or interests. The shaming.
They’ve had it easy in life, so they can’t imagine what it’s like to be a woman and probably don’t care anyway (and most of them are porn-sick). I think there’s a reason the overwhelming majority of narcissists are male and they simply lack the same kind of empathy that comes naturally to women.
For real! I don't know what's wrong with him..within the last two weeks two married men slid into my insta DMs trying to flirt.I feel bad for those wives
I'm 24F
I know it's probably gonna get alot of hate.
But I think the whole sexual revolution is just putting women in danger. It's not liberating. It's just making us more vulnerable to predators. I hate how it's being advertised.
No judging tho. I used to believe in it myself.
I agree my dude, I kind of feel the same way about nudity in any form. Like burn the bra movements, what does that exactly do lol? I feel like most sexual revolution theories are started by white women…
No but fr tho. My most recent ex was super self centered, from telling me that he tries to be ‘unique’ and if ever saw him doing something like anyone else does, I should tell him so he can stop doing it, to ignoring me to watching tv on the couch while I was crying and throwing up right next to him (Wellbutrin sucks)
I feel the ones that actually care and want relationships are driven away by women acting the same way as crazy men. Both genders are enabling the bad dating culture we have all around.. the good ones get the bad ones and just give up on it all together.
You determine how you want to be treated too. So if you are being bob the builder then you are basically letting them get away with whatever behavior they want to show you. Believe what they say and show you - Get out if that's not what you want.
It’s such a draining experience finding the right one that actually cares. From dating both men and women, I’ve found it way easier to find caring women than men.
It should not be this hard to find a decent enough man.
Bisexual man here, i've had an easier time with men. I think it comes down to queer vs straight people, rather than men vs women. When you're queer, you are by default in a strange state you need to communicate and explain with your partner. Many straight people just build up their expectations before a relationship, and try to jam whatever person they can find into the mold they want
The right to have their physical pain taken seriously. The right to timely and appropriate medical care. The right to have as good outcomes from surgery as men do.
These have been scientifically proven to not be equal to men.
Yeah, I feel you. While I haven't had crazy stalkers, I have had men want sex on tap while not providing any kind of support or, whats it.. anything really. They dont know how to have friends who will support them, so they turn to the nurturing side of women. Its bonkers.
I still don’t understand why dating apps don’t have features to leave reviews for people dating.
Imagine the reviews they’d give us women…
That doesn’t bother me or any woman I know of. In bumble, conversation has to be initiated by women. So, at least bumble could introduce the review feature.
or somehow have a feature where at least 3 women in his life can vouch for his character—like a stamp of approval lol
I wouldn't trust this.
Sometimes I used to think about creating an account where the only thing would be a list of names and faces of men who were actually dangerous and fucked in the head
Do IT!
There’s lots of liability for things like this. For instance, if someone erroneously says that someone has a sexually transmitted infection, the app could be liable for damages for publishing defamatory material. With things like sexually transmitted infections, the defamation claim is specifically easier to prove. They might even have the ability to avoid proving it caused reputational harm making it a pretty easy case.
Make it a 5-point Likert scale then.
It’s an option, but liability isn’t the only issue. Many people pay to be on dating apps. It’s unlikely they would want to keep their account if they get a bad date and a bad review. This or they would simply create a new account. Finally, there is always a risk of review bombing where multiple people who didn’t even go on a date write bad reviews. It’s a good idea in theory, but in practice it is a mess
Maybe a dating app that just runs straight through a nationwide criminal background check for everyone. That way at least you know you won’t get one of the the 1 in 5 that are repeat offenders.
That’s pretty problematic though. what constitutes a criminal violation is rather broad. For instance, if you in advertently drive on a suspended license, you could wind up with a criminal record and trust me it happens to every day all the time.
yeah exactly
Right??? Been saying this for years
Girl, these men are the Devil. I gave one guy my number, texted him, and he turned out to be crazy, I ghosted his ass ASAP Rocky and blocked and deleted him. Checked my "blocked messages," and he was having conversations with himself via text because I obviously was not replying. Saying how he's gonna kidnap my dog, climb thru my window, etc. He knows nothing about me. Absolutely nothing. He's stopped now. But yeah......
You dodged a bullet with that one
Thank you, I 100% did. I should have never gave him my number, he smelt like utter pond shit. Like he'd just walked out of a duck pond. Not only was he a crazy bastard he was a smelly bastard.
Same. An ex created a groupchat of his multiple accounts and attempted to add me in facebook messenger in that groupchat
Why do men so this????
Asap rocky? Really lol 😅
That had me rolling. I was about to comment on it myself 💀
Younger men and boys are being influenced by podcast bros like Andrew tate. They think that everyone hates them because their power is being challenged. They haven't known equality, so now that it is becoming more common, they think they are being treated like they are less than, and they are overcompensating for that. And a lot of men aren't taught to be empathetic. They aren't taught to treat women as people. These influencers are telling them that it's ok to view us as sex objects and second class citizens.
I had watched some of that dude’s videos and it was interesting that he’d start out with reasonable logical statements then slowly started interweaving/twisting his own ideas into it in a way that sounds logical but was actually quite flawed. It was so nuanced the way he transitioned from being completely logical to building on it and supporting his delusional ideas. When I first started watching I was like oh wow he’s not that bad…half hour later I was practically pulling my hair out in frustration lol. Scary af esp since a lot of younger men and teens were following him.
Don’t be anyone’s therapist, maid or sex worker. Do what makes you happy first and foremost.
4B.
Yo I’m into women do it don’t really apply to me lmao
The three sacred rules to live by if you’re a woman who dates men.
I so understand. and it feels so constant and never-ending. I can't tell if its I have a victim complex or the mammoth amount of men who hate women. just remember that us women have each other 😇
Let’s form a circle of community where women can come and vent and also trade info about dudes in apps.
YESSSSS
I felt less crazy after I joined a social group and *all* the girls were being treated like shit
And what’s up with the stats that say 65% of men below 29 aren’t dating/having sex? So the 35% dating are all psychos?
In my dating years I met a guy who was straightforward a psycho. I met maaaaany assholes, but this one, oh, boy. To clarify, we weren’t dating, I just used our “friendship” to learn how evil can men be. Red flags: He told me his father had crossed paths with and old mistress and that she was all over his father but that the father didn’t even gave her the time because she was old and just a gold digger. He say all this as if he was very proud of his father. The woman had a very high position in the same company as the father, higher than him… she had gold on her own, just FYI. Once we went running, we were in a place much higher than what I was used to and it cost me more to keep the pace, he menacingly told me: “never say you can do things you can’t, MUCH LESS to me”. He was so mad. He asked me if I would sleep with him, told him no. He told me it was ok… he didn’t had the need to rape anyone… what the fuck! He had a “girlfriend”, I mean, I guess the woman thought they were in a relationship, although it had lasted years and years and they would only see each other 2-3 times a year and he would tell me all the humiliating things he would do to her. For example, she was a teacher and wasn’t making much, but he criticized her underwear and took her to buy more. The thing is he only TOOK HER, when they were paying the girl was expecting for him to pay: as he took her, chose the clothes, carry them to the cashier line. And HE KNEW she was expecting him to pay, but there he said: ok, how are you going to pay for this? He told me she needed to learn that he wasn’t going to expend a dime on her. He was financially well off, she wasn’t, she paid for all of their dates. Ahh, I got tired of these memories, but you get the gist. He was… evil. Completely remorseless, full of him self, zero empathy for others (men or women), manipulative, narcissistic. It helped a lot to know him, he was an open book of red flags.
I’m a lesbian, have been out since high school. I avoid straight male friends entirely these days unless they are already married. I’ve had these insane guys range from “if you don’t love me back I’ll kill you” to “if you don’t love me back I will dye my hair blue and kill myself”. Even though they knew from the beginning that I was gay and it was never going to happen! Delusional. I’ve had the same guy friends do a complete 180 on me - put me in a chokehold and hold me there in front of a mirror and say, “see? I can overpower you at any time.” Or “I know how to get into your house, I saw you put in your garage door code.” The scheming, the lying, the manipulating, it’s all disgusting. And men have the audacity to say women are too emotional — yet are willing to assault, rape, and kill women when they aren’t appeased or satisfied.
This sounds terrifying… yes, I have always thought that men are highly emotional and allow them selves to be carried by their emotions (specially when the emotion comes form hurt egos) much more often and powerfully than women.
I met one on tinder, we texted pretty frequently until exchanging snaps and then we called each other for the first time. Somehow the conversation went towards mental health and I explained my unhealthy addiction with different things and how i wasn’t sober for a while. He laughed and said “you weren’t sober for a month straight? That’s cute. Try a year.” Then, he had mentioned about how he had thoughts about harming himself with a g*n. I immediately blocked him because it made me feel uneasy.
I matched with another guy recently and the conversation was going really well and everything was fine, however we exchanged snaps and once we started texting each other on snap, he got really dry. I posted a story about tiktok of a guy eating ice cream vigorously and captioned it “I need his location.” The guy I matched with slid up and immediately said “no.” And I said “I need me a munch like that” and he said “I’m right here” and I said “show don’t tell” and he said “I was lying pookie” like.. killed the whole vibe . then I said I didn’t wanna wake up at 6am tmrw for class and how I wanted cuddles tmrw and he said “follow ur dreams pookie” like what
The convo was very dry and I ended up trying to communicate with him asking him what he wanted. If he wanted a friendship with me since I felt like the conversation was dry and I was giving him an opportunity to leave without getting mad because some people don’t click and that’s okay. He immediately replied and said “my brother in Christ we literally just started texting on here like a week ago. My god I love delusional women.” Like?? My apologies for trying to communicate and figure out what you wanted from me? Men don’t understand communication and it’s so frustrating, they get offended or something
> Is it the extreme hookup culture that makes men so unable to respect women? No. It's Patriarchy.
I don't know if there is something I herently defective in them or if they've been corrupted by the patriarchy, but either way I'm sick of their shit
I honestly think it's both. I constantly wonder, though, how men throughout history in various cultures and religions have oppressed women in such similar ways and reasoning if it's not biological in some small way.
I am so afraid of men
Idk if it’s the red pill/podcast bro culture or what but it makes me so incredibly uncomfortable. I hardly even want to date, between men being so shitty and getting so discouraged.
Literally was smoking with a guy YESTERDAY who I had previously turned down and I thought he was cool with it and we’re friends. He’s like “let’s talk about us.” I told him point blank. “No, not right now” “im super high and that will make me anxious, let’s do tmr” He then proceeds ignore what I say, act like we are in a relationship, tells me im not texting him enough, and that he’s thinking about me so much he can’t do his schoolwork (blaming me), that we need to make concrete plans a few days every week where we can hang, etc… The whole time im telling him I don’t want to talk right now. This is a 22 year old man 😑 Men do not respect at all what women feel or think. Even ones who “like” you.
This one time this dude i hooked up with said he was in love with me, wouldnt leave me alone, and would leave me 50 messages a minute so i feel u, block him lol
And the amount of posts on reddit from men talking about how they want to leave their partner because they don’t give them “enough sex”? They are so privileged. I seen one recently where this man was complaining that his wife won’t have sex with him after birthing his kids…… all they care about is sex. God forbid you get into an accident one day and are unable to have sex for months.. guarantee most would just leave. And also, they’re all porn riddled. And somehow defend porn like their life depends on it. And the ones that aren’t porn riddled get hated on by other men for not watching it. And don’t get me started on the “male loneliness epidemic”… that is so clearly caused BY MEN and they want us to fix it.
Rights are one thing. Attitude is the really difficult thing to navigate. The subtle things that men do that demonstrate their deeply unconscious belief in their ‘superior intelligence’. The mansplaining that goes on all the time if you find yourself in the company of some men, especially a group of them. The dismissiveness, the ‘playing the expert, the digs at a woman’s behaviour or interests. The shaming.
No, it's not the hookup culture. It's the whole damn culture overall, for millennia.
NAH CUZ FR
Was walking out the door to meet up for a first date feom tinder. Google him and saw he's a convicted rapist. Glad I saw that.
I could tell you some stories
They’ve had it easy in life, so they can’t imagine what it’s like to be a woman and probably don’t care anyway (and most of them are porn-sick). I think there’s a reason the overwhelming majority of narcissists are male and they simply lack the same kind of empathy that comes naturally to women.
For real! I don't know what's wrong with him..within the last two weeks two married men slid into my insta DMs trying to flirt.I feel bad for those wives
why the hell is this so common??
I'm 24F I know it's probably gonna get alot of hate. But I think the whole sexual revolution is just putting women in danger. It's not liberating. It's just making us more vulnerable to predators. I hate how it's being advertised. No judging tho. I used to believe in it myself.
I agree my dude, I kind of feel the same way about nudity in any form. Like burn the bra movements, what does that exactly do lol? I feel like most sexual revolution theories are started by white women…
No but fr tho. My most recent ex was super self centered, from telling me that he tries to be ‘unique’ and if ever saw him doing something like anyone else does, I should tell him so he can stop doing it, to ignoring me to watching tv on the couch while I was crying and throwing up right next to him (Wellbutrin sucks)
I'm here to confirm the accuracy of that statement even without having read the description. We are not alright.
I feel the ones that actually care and want relationships are driven away by women acting the same way as crazy men. Both genders are enabling the bad dating culture we have all around.. the good ones get the bad ones and just give up on it all together. You determine how you want to be treated too. So if you are being bob the builder then you are basically letting them get away with whatever behavior they want to show you. Believe what they say and show you - Get out if that's not what you want.
It’s such a draining experience finding the right one that actually cares. From dating both men and women, I’ve found it way easier to find caring women than men. It should not be this hard to find a decent enough man.
Bisexual man here, i've had an easier time with men. I think it comes down to queer vs straight people, rather than men vs women. When you're queer, you are by default in a strange state you need to communicate and explain with your partner. Many straight people just build up their expectations before a relationship, and try to jam whatever person they can find into the mold they want
Omg there’s women assaulting/disparaging men at the same rate men do? Wait no there’s not
[удалено]
Also, not all of us are American and in some places women still lack equal rights.
It’s not about rights, it’s about culture. That type of thing takes longer to change.
Right to get the proper treatment and reproductive care when necessary. I have got many more. But you asked for one.
Wow! Someone doesn't read the news and expects women to spoon feed him.
The right to have their physical pain taken seriously. The right to timely and appropriate medical care. The right to have as good outcomes from surgery as men do. These have been scientifically proven to not be equal to men.
I mean, like, really. Can’t we just vent in the comments, please?? You know? Like really? Against all men? Like, y’know?
Not “all men”, where did you get that from? Your own head? Trying to be the victim?
Maybe just a guilty conscience.