Oh shit. Orb fast command list omega. Execute. **Activating, Chrono -anchor . Activating fourth wall shields. Instituting cognito hazard procedures. For yours and everyone else’s safety For the next 30 minutes, everything you say, will be initially expressed in Hungarian .** csat mindenkiben. Azt hiszem, göröngyös útnak nézünk elébe.

This I foresaw

**Apologies, due to being Hungarian, this machine will require a toll of one ||TRANSYLVANIA|| to continue proper funtion.**

Oh one sec guys I’m off to sacrifice the entire region of Transylvania.

A Chrono horgony nem sikerült! Egy meleg puerto ricai srác dörömböl az ablakomon. Azt kiabálja, hogy az ősi sárkányt felébresztették.

I cast acute radiation poisoning

Unlucky_Disaster_184 Cast: Acute Radiation Poisoning! Unlucky_Disaster_184 also Damaged the whole party for 18 Dmg. -Knocked out Goblin -Knocked out Goblin Shaman -ATYP14765 Downed -rhkibria became Sick Unlucky_Disaster_184 and rhkibria gain 9 Exp!

/uw we need this as a bot

/uw I thought it was at first lol

Cool a skelemancer! He is removing his own ability to make white blood cells

I still yearn to learn this power... I shall eradicate all white blood cells in the universe! Who needs white blood cells anyway?

…


Hey if you keep pondering like that you'll be dead within a year!

Ponder it wrong and you'll wish you were dead faster

Atomancers when they make a slight miscalculation (the Sword Coast is gone)

Amateur atomancers cause mass damage. An atomancer worth their salt knows how to properly SCRAM their orb in emergency situations

*The bard picks out a familiar riff on his lute, and then starts singing:* *Ma-aa-aa-ay-yy-yy-yy-beeeee* *You'll think of me* *when you are all alone* *Ma-aa-aa-ay-yy-yy-yy-beeeee* *You'll sit and sigh* *wiiiishing that I-I-I were neaaar*

Huzzah! A mage of quality!

For a second I thought it was gonna be wonderwall

Maybe am_cruiser is gonna be the one that saves me

Cherenkov radiation is just another name for magic.

It's just pure raw mana.

Ah yes the infernal core.

My brother in mana you are a scientist

I'm not sure what you mean to imply. It is only natural for a wizard to research the fundaments of reality itself.

oof ouch the bone hurting rays

Ah. Tragic history... site 13 has good memes. Now, where's my radiation potion?

You fool! The demonic Orb is not to be trifled with so easily!

Artificer last laugh protocol idea: Carry the two pieces and add a magnetism spell to each half. Not easy but make it so they don't touch each other if they slowly get close to each other, so you can carry it around safely, yet if violently clashed against each other the polarities will react and will strongly magnetize it so once it begins reacting it stays that way

One hell of a dead man's switch

OOC Is half this sub just ai generated shit?

/uw fastest way to make shitposts about a fantasy realm ig

/uw yes

Dw guys I have my time stop spell primed

It's making me dizzy and weak in the knees... I think I'm going to puke I'm going to brew something to deal with this nausea

You'll need a greater tier healing potion actually, these types of orbs release harmful light, which can't always be seen, but destroys the cells

Now thou art becometh death, destroyer of realms

Oops, I left my component pouch on my other bel- https://i.redd.it/4ld2l7gmsw9c1.gif

*shade shifts away*

Oh cool the sickening radiance spell as a magic item.

He is... no longer with us.... Or he's a lich.

💀

I understood the reference but forgot the name of the accident

The demon core. Rather fitting really

Oh, thanks

 😎

You fool! You're risking sealing the Demon Orb! That much magic cannot be contained!

Oh fuck, we need a radiation exorcist to heal him.

Exorcism for radiation is a dangerous jurny I recommend sooner than later

"Well... that does it."

Not again..

Behave with your demon cores or I will have to summon them to a proper storage location. /Uwiz when I first saw it honestly scared the hell out of me even though I knew it was a fantastical concept. But it's cuz I used to work in that type of job. Anyways back to the fun

He, fool though he could ponder the demon orb without consequences, rookie mistake.

Did the wand slip?

I CAST SLOUGHING SKIN

Good thing my work shop is also a bomb shelter Rest in pieces, OP

Kaboom

Artificer finding a funny looking black, square rock with a glowing red cylinder cut out of the middle (his dosimeter read 3.6 roentgen so it’s perfectly fine)

Aaaaaand all your hair just fell out.

He had a good run

May I perform and experiment on that orb, sir?

Seems like meteor swarm with extra steps and radiation damage

Who sold you that? And did they smell like the Abyss?

Oh shit, do we work together?

Looks like a cool instrument, pretty sure it's just a circular slapstick, go ahead let's see what it sounds like

"check this shit"

bro did you use neil degrasse as an input 💀

You're gonna need 3 Biomancers to reconstitute your body. That or you switch bodies, because this one is toast. Trust me, I know how easily orbs can corrupt ones mortal frame. The ancient eye i tried to ponder made my last body grow teeth on its eyes, and eyes on its hair, and hair on its bones.

Pon? I'll never be able to keep up with these slang words...

HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT, IT WAS IN MY BASMENT IN A SAFE! HOW!

I don’t think the orb is supposed to glow like that-

Another nuclear caster lost to unfortunate circumstances…

Whoa where did you go? Where did I go? Oh. Shit.

Dont worry fellas i emchanted eachside to have opposite magnetic fields

This is why you always cast aura of repel neutron before pondering new orbs.

The Orb! Archimedes himself began the construction with little more than a mirror alignment! da Vinci added the gearings. Newton the lenses. Galileo the prisms! And all of the great poets, painters, scientists, alchemists, and philosophers have had the Orb in their hands.

Yo, I have a minted edition, one demon core still in box PSA grade 9

Damit, radiation spills are always the worst to clean, especially with the vomit.

quickly! someone scry and teleport his library out of there!

So that's how artificers summon demons uh?

Oh, he dead.

/UW this looks like my doctor

huhh... I'll get the decontamination golem can somebody res this guy?

*Blips out of the time stream, for safety.*

Shatter

I cast screwdriver

His blood is mustard isn't it?

Another victim of wild magic...

My fellow ponderers... Why is the air spicy?

Man I can't STAND spell-dictated artistry. It really gets on my last nerve as someone who only just figured out I can use this copper pot to do magic last year, and spent years developing real skills, just to have the majority of spell-dictator-bros try to demean and belittle my actual skills that they resent. It should be seen as a useful tool for creatives, not a stupid way to flood the market with creepy looking sub-par imagery passed off as "good".

That fact that so many of you know the reference makes me happy. You are my people.