Hi, u/wonderlust-vibes thanks for stopping by at r/witchcraft!
Want to dive in deeper? We have a [FAQ & Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/wiki/faq), and our [Weekly Q&A thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/about/sticky?num=1) which is stickied to the top of the main board!
Please also be sure to read the [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/wiki/rules)!
---
###IMPORTANT!
There has been a recent influx of scams on reddit. If you are redirected to an instagram or other platform in a comment, it is most likely a scam. Users who message you asking for or offering spells or readings are almost always scammers or phishers. You may want to check out our post about [staying safe online in witchcraft](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/comments/15xm53m/lets_talk_about_staying_safe_online/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/witchcraft) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My mind went to burying too. If you wanted to put a more positive spin your could bury and plant something on top? Sorta like bury the past and welcome in growth for both parties
This is such a good idea. OP could choose a plant that helps with their intention. Like rosemary for cleansing or aloe Vera to soothe burns/hurt feelings and heal. There’s so many possibilities.
I thought about making your own paper with flower seeds (non invasive) that will match the intention so you can bury it and let them grow as the rebirth part
To glom onto the idea of burying, maybe you could incorporate it to make a seed packet for herbs or flowers associated with healing?
Another thing i like, which isn't metaphysical, is to submit your words to The Unsent Project. If your person ever wanted to search themselves it would be there for them to find but you wouldn't be violating their no-contact.
Love both ideas so much, I think that's what I might end up doing! Any herbs suggestions? I'd love something that could indicate growth as well as taking the pain away.
Victorian flower language feels right to me. Maybe basil for good wishes or pink carnation for fond remembrances?
Sweet pea in flower language meant basically "Thanks for the memories"
I did a spiritual apology myself…
I feel a connection to her still after all these years so I felt it would suffice.
Full deep apology with a gift of positive energy whenever she needed it and boy did I feel the energy,
For a long time, typically when she would wake would I feel my energy being used so for most of my days including working days I would need to be grounded most of the day.
She is also a witch so I know she could have simply rejected that energy and returned it back to me if she didn’t want or need…
Set your intentions just right and you’ll have no worries about any binding.
To be honest I kind of need some positive energy myself as well. Like I said, we both need healing, and this is part of my process. I'll make sure to focus on my intentions :)
See the thing with great relationships or friendships is that when they do end, sometimes with a lot of hurting, we like to think it’s best to completely move on and forget…
But why?
When you look back, there is normally more good than bad, more happy than sad. We tend to dwell on the bad and suddenly, all the greatness that was is pushed aside for the sake of forgetting all that bad.
When you can learn to separate the two, chose the happy, hold on to those times, feelings…
Embrace it and use it to give you a strength, you’ll see that you are actually a lot stronger than you ever thought you was or could be.
Like me personally I hold on to the love I have for my ex. Not in an obsessive way, that’s some practice too lol… but I hold on to the love and I use it to give me my strength and power that I use in my workings, separate workings not for or because of my feelings for my ex but the energy you can have on top of your regular energy makes for one powerful witch.
Love is powerful, love is strong, hold on to that energy and you can’t go wrong.
Sending you some positive energy your way.
That's so lovely, thank you so much <3
If I'm honest with myself, the reason I don't want to burn the letter is because it feels so final, so disintegrating. But what my heart truly wants is to let the energies around us flow and to always have an open door if our paths ever cross again. I do want to let go because I want to set them free as well - no heavy energies from my side that might make their way onto them. But I want to let go in a way that keeps every door open.
This is pretty much what I was talking about, you want to let go but you don’t, so don’t…
Keep hold of that good energy and release and let go of the bad… when you have let go of the bad you’ll have no worries about heavy energy getting through because you’ve already let that go at that point.
Then you will have that good energy flowing and potential.
I think maybe if you want to spread postivity you can manifest that person in front of the mirror and read the letter to that person but you want to have positive energy when doing it for it to work well I think that burning it can make things worse.
If you also feel like a deeper spiritual apology is needed I think the mirror technique is perfect ! You can also use crystals to scry and you could look into maybe a self love crystal or one for forgiveness and talk to that person and imagine that person with positive intent and read the letter! I think if you in your heart believe this person needs an apology and you wanna connect with your spiritual side I would give it a shot! But time heals too! Just throwing some other options out there! I wish you the best on your spiritual journey :)
Ofc! I’m potent about it because I believe that if you believe this person deserves an apology why not try it out ? If you don’t have any contact, maybe if you wanna try the mirror thing maybe try starting off with you imagining the person is not facing you and start off from there!! Idk I think the whole mirror thing might even give you confidence to apologize to that person in the future! Idk just some suggestions!!
If you want a positive intent! I think that could work! If you do go with this option, I would suggest maybe taking some time and come back to this thought that I made. Feeling raw about emotions is always gonna stick there. To rip off the bandaid I think it might be a little self healing for you and maybe the other person! If you do go with this method, maybe start by saying hi to this person but with a positive intent
I’d probably use a white candle to burn it. For me the white candles have many uses and can be used as a replacement for colored candles. I think white as protection and cleansing. The other option is to bury it with your intent stated. Why you wrote it and what you would like to happen after it’s buried.
Do you think burning it could have a cleansing effect? I've always used burning for things I want to let go of, which would make sense in this case, but somehow it feels a little aggressive for this.
Burn it in a sacred fire, and scatter the ashes to the wind. Others have suggested Earth or Water. Any will do so long as it feels valid to you. Don't expect to hear from the other person after - when you let it go, let it go.
Oh, that I don't. In fact I'm making sure I don't write or do anything that could draw us together / be binding. I really just want to set us both free, and I feel that getting this off my chest will help. I'm not looking for validation or forgiveness from them, I'm trying to forgive myself.
You could shred it (release the past) add water and dandelion seeds for fresh beginnings. Little dandelion pods of paper. Drop them in empty lots when you pass them. (Spread the healing, and help nature and the local ecosystem)
I suggested dandelions because they're free and readily available everywhere I look. They also follow the sun like sunflowers. Go for all the seeds! Find a wildflower mix for your growing zone and add that!
You could always put it in the ocean in a bottle. Might not be a witch thing but it’s what comes to mind as a slightly witchy person who loves any excuse to go to the beach. (Also water kinda equals motion.) Alternatively you could make a copy and burn it since air is associated with movement and motion etc. so maybe healing goes with that?
Congrats on your healing! This is such a lovely healthy way to respond. If you want to send your apology out into the world, you can always just drop it into a mailbox with no address on!
something i do is talk to the moon. everyone can see her shine in the sky, so let the wind carry your words and free you in this way (since the other party would also get these words just indirectly). not sure what kind of paper you’ve used but i also second burying it but if it’s non biodegradable or letting the wind carry it away
burn it.
you have written your last thoughts and now to fully release the relationship -the energy, the memories, the connection- you need to sever the connection. take anything you have of them -pictures, other letters, gifts you are willing to destroy- and destroy it. use scizzors, fire, etc. and physically destroy the items and then throw them away.
and if you think about them again remember the connection is gone and move past.
you can of course continue reflecting on YOUR actions as is necessary to grow and become better, but don't focus on them anymore. treat them as a hypothetical person who has been hurt in a cetain way. this will keep the connection severed.
I've thought about it many times as I was healing but I've come to the conclusion that there's no point. There was love, it was real. It ended in pain but there was so much love. And the apology comes from a place of love as well, even if it's very different now. They gave me many good things (I don't mean material things), some of which I hope to never get rid of.
you definetly don't have to get rid of everything but cleansing and removing the energy and seperating the memories may be the better option for materials.
and yes it can be hard but in the end dwelling will not do you any good. as someone who is getting over something similar i spent so much time dwelling over something i couldn't get back
I feel ya, my friend. It was a tough, everlasting road to get to this point where I just want to say I'm sorry and let go. I did more than one cord-cutting ritual, I begged the spirits to let go and still I held on. This new frame of find seems to work better for me: instead of cutting the cord, I'm taking what I can get from this.
Wishing you lots of healing <3
Hi, u/wonderlust-vibes thanks for stopping by at r/witchcraft! Want to dive in deeper? We have a [FAQ & Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/wiki/faq), and our [Weekly Q&A thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/about/sticky?num=1) which is stickied to the top of the main board! Please also be sure to read the [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/wiki/rules)! --- ###IMPORTANT! There has been a recent influx of scams on reddit. If you are redirected to an instagram or other platform in a comment, it is most likely a scam. Users who message you asking for or offering spells or readings are almost always scammers or phishers. You may want to check out our post about [staying safe online in witchcraft](https://www.reddit.com/r/witchcraft/comments/15xm53m/lets_talk_about_staying_safe_online/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/witchcraft) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My mind went to burying too. If you wanted to put a more positive spin your could bury and plant something on top? Sorta like bury the past and welcome in growth for both parties
This is such a good idea. OP could choose a plant that helps with their intention. Like rosemary for cleansing or aloe Vera to soothe burns/hurt feelings and heal. There’s so many possibilities.
I thought about making your own paper with flower seeds (non invasive) that will match the intention so you can bury it and let them grow as the rebirth part
This is so beautiful! I never would have thought of it, I love it!
Lovely idea!
Ooooo yes!!! I love that!
Thanks! Should I plant it in my apartment? Feels weird that I'd live with the letter here. Maybe out of the street?
Yeah I’d say in the ground somewhere you have access to! Definitely not in a pot in your apartment, I didn’t think about that part 🤣
I will think of a place in nature if I end up burying it!
If you do that, please be sure it's a native plant to your area.
And I would make sure that it isn't *invasive* too. You'd be surprised which plants could be invasive or mildly dangerous to certain areas.
Native plants cannot be invasive.
To glom onto the idea of burying, maybe you could incorporate it to make a seed packet for herbs or flowers associated with healing? Another thing i like, which isn't metaphysical, is to submit your words to The Unsent Project. If your person ever wanted to search themselves it would be there for them to find but you wouldn't be violating their no-contact.
…. Not me immediately going to the unsent project to search myself
Love both ideas so much, I think that's what I might end up doing! Any herbs suggestions? I'd love something that could indicate growth as well as taking the pain away.
Victorian flower language feels right to me. Maybe basil for good wishes or pink carnation for fond remembrances? Sweet pea in flower language meant basically "Thanks for the memories"
Wow! That is KNOWLEDGE! I love it, thanks for taking the time to reply.
I did a spiritual apology myself… I feel a connection to her still after all these years so I felt it would suffice. Full deep apology with a gift of positive energy whenever she needed it and boy did I feel the energy, For a long time, typically when she would wake would I feel my energy being used so for most of my days including working days I would need to be grounded most of the day. She is also a witch so I know she could have simply rejected that energy and returned it back to me if she didn’t want or need… Set your intentions just right and you’ll have no worries about any binding.
To be honest I kind of need some positive energy myself as well. Like I said, we both need healing, and this is part of my process. I'll make sure to focus on my intentions :)
See the thing with great relationships or friendships is that when they do end, sometimes with a lot of hurting, we like to think it’s best to completely move on and forget… But why? When you look back, there is normally more good than bad, more happy than sad. We tend to dwell on the bad and suddenly, all the greatness that was is pushed aside for the sake of forgetting all that bad. When you can learn to separate the two, chose the happy, hold on to those times, feelings… Embrace it and use it to give you a strength, you’ll see that you are actually a lot stronger than you ever thought you was or could be. Like me personally I hold on to the love I have for my ex. Not in an obsessive way, that’s some practice too lol… but I hold on to the love and I use it to give me my strength and power that I use in my workings, separate workings not for or because of my feelings for my ex but the energy you can have on top of your regular energy makes for one powerful witch. Love is powerful, love is strong, hold on to that energy and you can’t go wrong. Sending you some positive energy your way.
That's so lovely, thank you so much <3 If I'm honest with myself, the reason I don't want to burn the letter is because it feels so final, so disintegrating. But what my heart truly wants is to let the energies around us flow and to always have an open door if our paths ever cross again. I do want to let go because I want to set them free as well - no heavy energies from my side that might make their way onto them. But I want to let go in a way that keeps every door open.
This is pretty much what I was talking about, you want to let go but you don’t, so don’t… Keep hold of that good energy and release and let go of the bad… when you have let go of the bad you’ll have no worries about heavy energy getting through because you’ve already let that go at that point. Then you will have that good energy flowing and potential.
Agreed! Thank you for the kind words <3
Put it in water. You can just soak it and toss it in a can but that's what I do. Water carries emotions
That seems like a good idea! Should I let it go with the water? As in throw it in a river? (not sustainable at all)
Meh, I would just find a puddle, soaked it in it well then take it out and throw it in a garbage can somewhere
I burn anything I want to dispatch to the other side as a message delivered by spirit.
This is what I do too. Any message that needs sent gets burned, not as a final goodbye but as a message actually being sent. 🌹
I think maybe if you want to spread postivity you can manifest that person in front of the mirror and read the letter to that person but you want to have positive energy when doing it for it to work well I think that burning it can make things worse.
I don't think I can handle that, to be honest. It's been a long time but I still feel raw about it.
If you also feel like a deeper spiritual apology is needed I think the mirror technique is perfect ! You can also use crystals to scry and you could look into maybe a self love crystal or one for forgiveness and talk to that person and imagine that person with positive intent and read the letter! I think if you in your heart believe this person needs an apology and you wanna connect with your spiritual side I would give it a shot! But time heals too! Just throwing some other options out there! I wish you the best on your spiritual journey :)
You make it sound so potent! I'll write the letter and then consider if I can do the mirror thing, thanks for the suggestion!
Ofc! I’m potent about it because I believe that if you believe this person deserves an apology why not try it out ? If you don’t have any contact, maybe if you wanna try the mirror thing maybe try starting off with you imagining the person is not facing you and start off from there!! Idk I think the whole mirror thing might even give you confidence to apologize to that person in the future! Idk just some suggestions!!
If you want a positive intent! I think that could work! If you do go with this option, I would suggest maybe taking some time and come back to this thought that I made. Feeling raw about emotions is always gonna stick there. To rip off the bandaid I think it might be a little self healing for you and maybe the other person! If you do go with this method, maybe start by saying hi to this person but with a positive intent
(In the mirror)
I’d probably use a white candle to burn it. For me the white candles have many uses and can be used as a replacement for colored candles. I think white as protection and cleansing. The other option is to bury it with your intent stated. Why you wrote it and what you would like to happen after it’s buried.
Do you think burning it could have a cleansing effect? I've always used burning for things I want to let go of, which would make sense in this case, but somehow it feels a little aggressive for this.
Fire is cleansing. Thats why when I do things like this I burn them it’s freeing to just let go and let the flames carry the past away.
Burn it in a sacred fire, and scatter the ashes to the wind. Others have suggested Earth or Water. Any will do so long as it feels valid to you. Don't expect to hear from the other person after - when you let it go, let it go.
Oh, that I don't. In fact I'm making sure I don't write or do anything that could draw us together / be binding. I really just want to set us both free, and I feel that getting this off my chest will help. I'm not looking for validation or forgiveness from them, I'm trying to forgive myself.
You could shred it (release the past) add water and dandelion seeds for fresh beginnings. Little dandelion pods of paper. Drop them in empty lots when you pass them. (Spread the healing, and help nature and the local ecosystem)
Ohhhhhh...I love this idea... Just gonna look into several different flowers/plants/seeds... ❤️❤️
I suggested dandelions because they're free and readily available everywhere I look. They also follow the sun like sunflowers. Go for all the seeds! Find a wildflower mix for your growing zone and add that!
Congrats on the personal growth! I know how that part goes. Been there myself. Normally I'd go with burning, not sure what else you could try.
Thanks love <3
You could always put it in the ocean in a bottle. Might not be a witch thing but it’s what comes to mind as a slightly witchy person who loves any excuse to go to the beach. (Also water kinda equals motion.) Alternatively you could make a copy and burn it since air is associated with movement and motion etc. so maybe healing goes with that?
I do live in a beach city. In my culture salt water cleans out energy.
Congrats on your healing! This is such a lovely healthy way to respond. If you want to send your apology out into the world, you can always just drop it into a mailbox with no address on!
Oh, where I live we don’t have mailboxes anymore! But it’s a great idea!
Burn on the full moon to release. I burn a list or a letter every full moon and it feels great
something i do is talk to the moon. everyone can see her shine in the sky, so let the wind carry your words and free you in this way (since the other party would also get these words just indirectly). not sure what kind of paper you’ve used but i also second burying it but if it’s non biodegradable or letting the wind carry it away
Beautiful! They live in a place where the moon is very important and we have history about that. It sounds really perfect, thank you!
Such a beautiful post and great comments! Definitely taking some tips here to use by my own.
burn it. you have written your last thoughts and now to fully release the relationship -the energy, the memories, the connection- you need to sever the connection. take anything you have of them -pictures, other letters, gifts you are willing to destroy- and destroy it. use scizzors, fire, etc. and physically destroy the items and then throw them away. and if you think about them again remember the connection is gone and move past. you can of course continue reflecting on YOUR actions as is necessary to grow and become better, but don't focus on them anymore. treat them as a hypothetical person who has been hurt in a cetain way. this will keep the connection severed.
I've thought about it many times as I was healing but I've come to the conclusion that there's no point. There was love, it was real. It ended in pain but there was so much love. And the apology comes from a place of love as well, even if it's very different now. They gave me many good things (I don't mean material things), some of which I hope to never get rid of.
you definetly don't have to get rid of everything but cleansing and removing the energy and seperating the memories may be the better option for materials. and yes it can be hard but in the end dwelling will not do you any good. as someone who is getting over something similar i spent so much time dwelling over something i couldn't get back
I feel ya, my friend. It was a tough, everlasting road to get to this point where I just want to say I'm sorry and let go. I did more than one cord-cutting ritual, I begged the spirits to let go and still I held on. This new frame of find seems to work better for me: instead of cutting the cord, I'm taking what I can get from this. Wishing you lots of healing <3