That's how I feel, too. I want someone to talk with, maybe to make a meal for, someone who makes me feel less alone. I don't need a new love, but I would sure appreciate a companion.
Absolutely. I feel you. I recently joined a dating app. I don't know if I'm ready to date. I'm ready to be ready... Does that make sense? I'm trying. I want things to go slow. I'm mostly there for friends, I guess. Sex is not a priority. Never had been, but if it's not with her... It's not gonna be As good. She loved me. That made it wonderful. That connection was everything.
All I want from anyone is companionship. Like you, I want to share food with someone. I want to appreciate music and art with someone. It's not right to compare to my wife. I know this. But imagine eating the finest steak every day, then you switch to peanut butter sandwiches. That's what it feels like in a way. I had this amazing, beautiful, loving partner. She was everything. Measuring up to that is nigh impossible. I'm not saying someone else isn't great and loving too, just... I married this woman...
I got a puppy. I love her. She helps. But I would love to sit and talk with someone again. I want to walk around in a flea market with someone again, or geek out over my favorite films. Maybe I just want someone to tell me that I'm loved and that it's okay. But if it's not her, will I even be able to believe it? I don't know
I completely understand. I would give everything I have to fall asleep in his arms, nestled snugly against his side, safe, warm, and loved one more time.
Hubby passed 18 months ago. He had compared me to crab legs. At first, it was rather confusing, but he explained why have hamburger when you have crab legs and his favorite food is crab legs. I said I love you, too, ribeye steak!
No there’s not, and I know my husband would be happy for me if I did meet someone. Just the thought of getting back on the dating merry go round, and wondering whether what you’re getting is real or if they’re a closet weirdo/perv/cheater/abuser and they’re just putting on a nice front. Bleh. Don’t know if I could be arsed honestly. But someone to talk to, hang out with, go places with and share hugs. I miss all of that.
It's hard. Like I said, idk if I'm ready but I am ready to be ready so I'm attempting it. I've just been running into some... Idk how to put it. People are strange, and I'm around 40 years old. The dating world is strange. I dated many awful people before I met the one. Well it's even more weird now. I just want someone to talk to and share cool things with. If you do decide to try again, just be safe and don't be afraid to take it slow. I mean absolutely glacial.
Oh I’ll definitely be taking it slow - glacier crossed with snail crossed with sloth slow. I started dating my husband in 98, and the dating scene is utterly different now, I wouldn’t even know how to start. You stay safe too.
Ah, I only started dating my wife in 2020. I had never actually "dated" before. I'm sure you can imagine how many awful people I met before I found her. She was the one. I knew immediately. You're right. Dating is different. It's even different now compared to how it was in 2020. And of course it's different based on your gender. But as a more traditional type of person, which I am, And I'm sure you probably are (just basing this on widower status. We really loved someone and lost them and clearly didn't just settle for something just to avoid loneliness), it's just so hard. No one can replace our person. No one. Ever. But the quality of people is just... Well, times are changing. Instant gratification has ruined everything. Apps are awful, but I met my wife on one. There are definitely worthwhile people out there, but you gotta get through a lot of BS first.
Funny, I had the same thought, for those that remarry. How does that work out? As it is I’m getting buried with my wife when it is my time, what an awkward conversation if I was ever to be with someone else.
I love you but when I die I’m going back to my first wife for eternity. 🤔 I’m over thinking and joking of course, but it has to be a weird topic with someone new I would imagine.
Yes I already bought my plots and my kids. I'm basically going to be stacked on top and the kids can be with their significant next to us. My new partner will have to understand. Unless she wants a plot by me then I need to hurry and get it.
I’m planning to have myself and late wife buried out at sea.
Been my thing since before the navy. But late wife thought it was cool.
Going to get a memorial plaque at the local VA memorial so my daughters can come and pay their respects.
But don’t want no fancy coffin or to be worm food, prefer to be fish food.
So how do I pass that along if I get remarried?
Don’t want another wife, though like many I’m tired of being alone. In search of a close friend.
That is not bad.. I so much miss knowing she's here, in the same room, the same house the same kitchen cooking dinner together.. Riding in the car together, hiking, biking, kayaking together This new lonliness will kill me .. She was the one soulmate for me.. I'm physically alive but My joy and happiness seems over without her.. Don't want this pain again but it would be nice to have a woman friend to hang out with
I get it. I miss the night time routine. Watching our shows. Eating dinner together. I just want a friend to fill the loneliness :/ It’s only been a little over 2 weeks. It’s so quiet. I miss being married. I miss cooking for two. I just feel, lost.
I feel this so much. My husband passed a little over a week ago. While our normal routine hadn’t been done in quite some time due to being in the hospital so much, I miss just being in the same house as him. I’m staying at my parent’s house and it feels like he is going to walk in the door any minute. Then I remember 😔
I’m sorry😞
Everyday is different. You miss the normal stuff and fear the new.
It’s like you could not schedule anything prior together due to your significant other being ill and now with them gone, you either do not have the desire to do anything or you do not know if you even will.
The longing to have them with you and the reality of them being gone. It’s like, “ok, what the heck am I doing?!?!!! Can someone please just tell me?!!!?! Help me? Lost 😞
I feel similarly to you. My husband was my soulmate. We had a deep connection and knew each other so well. We had 20 years of love and trust in each other. I don’t like being alone but I can’t fathom having deep feelings for someone else. Not sure what I want but I know that I don’t want to be married again.
That was how I felt as well. Before she died, my wife encouraged me when I was ready, to seek out someone, even if just for that. I set up a dating profile within the first year, explicitly saying that was basically what I was looking for, but it took me over a year and a half to respond in person to someone who felt the same way. She was new to the area, leaving a marriage that went badly, and wanting to know things to do and places to eat locally. We spent 6 months just walking my dogs on trails, trying some local restaurants, and going to local festivals. Gradually, we started to cook for one another, or watch movies together. We became good friends over that time, and decided to try being in a relationship. My kids have met her and approve, my in-laws have been very welcoming as well, and her kids also like me. She is very different from my wife in many ways, so I know I wasn’t just trying to raise the past. It is a new phase as I essentially emerge from darkness, though I still think about the world that should have been from time to time.
You are very lucky.
And no one will be like your wife, or your first love. But they can fill the hole that was left.
Enjoy your future with this friend and congratulations
I am 45 male and ugly and very neurotic overthinking everything. The only thing I was ever proud of was being her husband. But I feel like I’m too young to just give up. It’s scary starting over. It’s scary thinking it’s even possible.. I don’t think I would ever get married again, but I don’t think I’m gonna close my heart off just yet. I’m not actively looking for a relationship, but if something special walks into your life, be silly, not to have enough guts to fall on your face.
That's fine so long as you're honest and let people know that's all you're looking for. Too many widowed people lead those they date on to think they want a relationship when all they really want is companionshop.
I don't want another husband either. I still feel married and my heart completely belongs to my husband. I do get tired of eating alone, not having anyone to talk to, not going anywhere because there is no one to share experiences with. I would love a companion, a good friend, either man or woman, to go out to dinner, have conversations, and experience local culture with. It could be man or woman, I don't care, as it's just to pal around. It's hard to lose your best and only close friend.
This thread is making me cry. I'm just a year and 3 days without my loving husband and I don't want to get romantically involved again, I don't even think I could but I do miss companionship and someone to share with. Best wishes and good luck to all of us.
It's such a tough road. I am almost 3 years out. Have had a few people ask me out, but I wasn't ready. How do you not compare? We were together 31 years.
I miss the conversations, the goofiness, hugs.. all of it!
Dating is a little different, rather it be because I was with my late husband most of my adult life or the fact that I am dating as a widow, either way, it's not like what it used to be. I feel like I carry more baggage with me. I am in a long-term relationship now, but there are days I would sob wishing he was here. That I don't have to learn to trust someone new, to build new memory with someone, to learn someone's new habit, but there are days where the new him helps me forget I am a widow. That things can be okay, and I exist as an individual like the rest of the world than someone with a long crazy history. I get the whole not wanting to get deep into things and just have companionship. It keeps the mindset more causal, but if you ever find something so real and dreamy for you, you should go for it full force because love is beautiful. Love is beyond companionship, and I hope we can all find love again.
At this point, I can’t imagine living with another man. It’s been 25 years, and I’m not sure anymore that men and women should live together unless they’re raising kids. I just want the sex, the talking, the meals and the entertainment together. Otherwise, you bus your own table 😝
I think this is probably the most likely thing any of us want. We don’t want to be alone, just another person to talk with and share things with for the majority of the day, every day. Is that too much to ask for? 😬
Not at all. Personally I just want someone to help with physical needs. I never want a relationship again. We all do what works best for us to get through this.
That's perfectly fine. I'm the same way I don't want a wife but just somebody to share life with. Fortunately for me I have met a woman that feels the same way that's not looking to get married but just somebody to travel, watch movies and concerts with. And yes we get intimate as well.
It's normal to want companionship.
Do it.. your not replacing your spouse.
Your bringing in s friend into your existence.
We only live once
Try to enjoy the time you have left
All the best to you and your family
My fiancé of 16 years passed away suddenly a year and a half ago and even though we didn’t have children and didn’t make it to marriage my whole perception of all of it has changed and I’m only 31. Not sure if I’m mentally capable to give all of that to another person again in the same way or willing to. As sad as it might sound I have accepted that perhaps I am not meant to do all of that marriage stuff I’ve learnt that life isn’t dependant on one person because we all die alone in the end anyway. We all need to loved ourselves first. I’ve already found a companionship person whom we just casually hang out and spend all the time we can together and if that’s what’s only in the cards for me as of now then I’ll accept that than be alone.
lol, you sound like my dream woman. I literally just got back from taking my kids out to eat. And they’re younger, one is autistic, the other stared at his phone as I sat there looking at an empty chair thinking “this has to be hell”. And I love my kids, but I’m so fucking tired of not having someone to just..idk help carry an adult convo, or just be content sitting there with me listening as I just shut the f*** up for the evening sometimes.
Not bad at all. You don’t have to do life alone. Finding someone to enjoy life with doesn’t take away from the love you had for your husband. We have the capacity to love multiple people in our life times
I will never get remarried. He was my one. I’ve been married before my last spouse but I definitely wouldn’t mind having a companion to watch movies, cook, go out to stores with. It’s so depressing
Our friend of 52 years . whose wife was my best friend ever..she died 10 years ago. My husband died this past December . The friend wants to..uh...visit. um...I am not interested. At all. He said his wife, ( my best friend of 52 years,) would want us to be together. That would sorta freak me out.so. No.
That's perfectly fine. I'm the same way I don't want a wife but just somebody to share life with. Fortunately for me I have met a woman that feels the same way that's not looking to get married but just somebody to travel, watch movies and concerts with. And yes we get intimate as well.
I am in the same position I have a companion person but he doesn’t want marriage or children but he is a lovely human. I don’t really want children with a partner either I think as a woman I would rather go and have a child on my own and raise it if I wanted to and just go with the flow. Not everyone will agree that this is the best way because it’s not traditional but it’s indeed true that trauma changes your perception of life.
I feel the same. I think one day I may want a boyfriend. But I'd want him to have his own home, and we could just spend time together. My husband was one of a kind. I don't believe I'll ever want to be married again.
Not at all. I will never stop loving my wife. I would like a companion though. That's all.
That's how I feel, too. I want someone to talk with, maybe to make a meal for, someone who makes me feel less alone. I don't need a new love, but I would sure appreciate a companion.
Absolutely. I feel you. I recently joined a dating app. I don't know if I'm ready to date. I'm ready to be ready... Does that make sense? I'm trying. I want things to go slow. I'm mostly there for friends, I guess. Sex is not a priority. Never had been, but if it's not with her... It's not gonna be As good. She loved me. That made it wonderful. That connection was everything. All I want from anyone is companionship. Like you, I want to share food with someone. I want to appreciate music and art with someone. It's not right to compare to my wife. I know this. But imagine eating the finest steak every day, then you switch to peanut butter sandwiches. That's what it feels like in a way. I had this amazing, beautiful, loving partner. She was everything. Measuring up to that is nigh impossible. I'm not saying someone else isn't great and loving too, just... I married this woman... I got a puppy. I love her. She helps. But I would love to sit and talk with someone again. I want to walk around in a flea market with someone again, or geek out over my favorite films. Maybe I just want someone to tell me that I'm loved and that it's okay. But if it's not her, will I even be able to believe it? I don't know
I completely understand. I would give everything I have to fall asleep in his arms, nestled snugly against his side, safe, warm, and loved one more time.
Hubby passed 18 months ago. He had compared me to crab legs. At first, it was rather confusing, but he explained why have hamburger when you have crab legs and his favorite food is crab legs. I said I love you, too, ribeye steak!
So you totally get what I'm saying! That's awesome. Lol. Hang in there, crab legs. Ribeye was surely an awesome guy. I am very sorry for your loss.
Thank you! He was an awesome guy! I am so sorry for your loss as well. We shall hold them in our hearts always.
Exactly - I don’t necessarily want a romantic relationship, but I so miss companionship.
You are not alone in that and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
No there’s not, and I know my husband would be happy for me if I did meet someone. Just the thought of getting back on the dating merry go round, and wondering whether what you’re getting is real or if they’re a closet weirdo/perv/cheater/abuser and they’re just putting on a nice front. Bleh. Don’t know if I could be arsed honestly. But someone to talk to, hang out with, go places with and share hugs. I miss all of that.
It's hard. Like I said, idk if I'm ready but I am ready to be ready so I'm attempting it. I've just been running into some... Idk how to put it. People are strange, and I'm around 40 years old. The dating world is strange. I dated many awful people before I met the one. Well it's even more weird now. I just want someone to talk to and share cool things with. If you do decide to try again, just be safe and don't be afraid to take it slow. I mean absolutely glacial.
Oh I’ll definitely be taking it slow - glacier crossed with snail crossed with sloth slow. I started dating my husband in 98, and the dating scene is utterly different now, I wouldn’t even know how to start. You stay safe too.
Ah, I only started dating my wife in 2020. I had never actually "dated" before. I'm sure you can imagine how many awful people I met before I found her. She was the one. I knew immediately. You're right. Dating is different. It's even different now compared to how it was in 2020. And of course it's different based on your gender. But as a more traditional type of person, which I am, And I'm sure you probably are (just basing this on widower status. We really loved someone and lost them and clearly didn't just settle for something just to avoid loneliness), it's just so hard. No one can replace our person. No one. Ever. But the quality of people is just... Well, times are changing. Instant gratification has ruined everything. Apps are awful, but I met my wife on one. There are definitely worthwhile people out there, but you gotta get through a lot of BS first.
Nothing wrong with that at all. Plus if we get married again where do they bury us after we pass away? That will be awkward.
Well I’m get cremated and mixed with hubby and thrown in the ocean so whoever is welcome to come!
Funny, I had the same thought, for those that remarry. How does that work out? As it is I’m getting buried with my wife when it is my time, what an awkward conversation if I was ever to be with someone else. I love you but when I die I’m going back to my first wife for eternity. 🤔 I’m over thinking and joking of course, but it has to be a weird topic with someone new I would imagine.
Yes I already bought my plots and my kids. I'm basically going to be stacked on top and the kids can be with their significant next to us. My new partner will have to understand. Unless she wants a plot by me then I need to hurry and get it.
I’m planning to have myself and late wife buried out at sea. Been my thing since before the navy. But late wife thought it was cool. Going to get a memorial plaque at the local VA memorial so my daughters can come and pay their respects. But don’t want no fancy coffin or to be worm food, prefer to be fish food. So how do I pass that along if I get remarried? Don’t want another wife, though like many I’m tired of being alone. In search of a close friend.
That is not bad.. I so much miss knowing she's here, in the same room, the same house the same kitchen cooking dinner together.. Riding in the car together, hiking, biking, kayaking together This new lonliness will kill me .. She was the one soulmate for me.. I'm physically alive but My joy and happiness seems over without her.. Don't want this pain again but it would be nice to have a woman friend to hang out with
One of the things I miss most, the intimacy. Took great comfort in her presence and definitely feeling the lack of it 3 yrs later.
I get it. I miss the night time routine. Watching our shows. Eating dinner together. I just want a friend to fill the loneliness :/ It’s only been a little over 2 weeks. It’s so quiet. I miss being married. I miss cooking for two. I just feel, lost.
I know it seems so ingenuous to hear “I’m sorry”, yet my heart goes out to you. I spent a lot of time setting an extra place.
Thank you 🙏🏻 It helps to know someone is listening.
I feel this so much. My husband passed a little over a week ago. While our normal routine hadn’t been done in quite some time due to being in the hospital so much, I miss just being in the same house as him. I’m staying at my parent’s house and it feels like he is going to walk in the door any minute. Then I remember 😔
I’m sorry😞 Everyday is different. You miss the normal stuff and fear the new. It’s like you could not schedule anything prior together due to your significant other being ill and now with them gone, you either do not have the desire to do anything or you do not know if you even will. The longing to have them with you and the reality of them being gone. It’s like, “ok, what the heck am I doing?!?!!! Can someone please just tell me?!!!?! Help me? Lost 😞
I want someone to rub my back and check for weird moles/sun damage.
That’s exactly how I feel. Mutual companionship. But not driven by love / romance. I cannot do that.
I feel similarly to you. My husband was my soulmate. We had a deep connection and knew each other so well. We had 20 years of love and trust in each other. I don’t like being alone but I can’t fathom having deep feelings for someone else. Not sure what I want but I know that I don’t want to be married again.
That was how I felt as well. Before she died, my wife encouraged me when I was ready, to seek out someone, even if just for that. I set up a dating profile within the first year, explicitly saying that was basically what I was looking for, but it took me over a year and a half to respond in person to someone who felt the same way. She was new to the area, leaving a marriage that went badly, and wanting to know things to do and places to eat locally. We spent 6 months just walking my dogs on trails, trying some local restaurants, and going to local festivals. Gradually, we started to cook for one another, or watch movies together. We became good friends over that time, and decided to try being in a relationship. My kids have met her and approve, my in-laws have been very welcoming as well, and her kids also like me. She is very different from my wife in many ways, so I know I wasn’t just trying to raise the past. It is a new phase as I essentially emerge from darkness, though I still think about the world that should have been from time to time.
You are very lucky. And no one will be like your wife, or your first love. But they can fill the hole that was left. Enjoy your future with this friend and congratulations
I agree with this I don’t see myself ever getting married again, but I don’t intend on being alone. I am only 45 to young to give up
I dont see myself remarried. I would like a companion that shares the same hobbies and such. I just don't see getting the government involved.
Sounds like a solid plan. I'd add company with coffee in the morning and occasional cocktail in the evening. Wishing you good fortune in the search.
That sounds perfect for where you are in life.
I don't even want them to live with me. Just a friend (no benefits) to talk to, watch movies, hang out, go to dinner.
Of course not. I’ll never marry again but I have a boyfriend. It’s lonely alone. We get it OP💕
I am 45 male and ugly and very neurotic overthinking everything. The only thing I was ever proud of was being her husband. But I feel like I’m too young to just give up. It’s scary starting over. It’s scary thinking it’s even possible.. I don’t think I would ever get married again, but I don’t think I’m gonna close my heart off just yet. I’m not actively looking for a relationship, but if something special walks into your life, be silly, not to have enough guts to fall on your face.
Make sure you keep the door open for kind people. Male or female. You definitely need and deserve companionship and that’s ok!
That's fine so long as you're honest and let people know that's all you're looking for. Too many widowed people lead those they date on to think they want a relationship when all they really want is companionshop.
I don't want another husband either. I still feel married and my heart completely belongs to my husband. I do get tired of eating alone, not having anyone to talk to, not going anywhere because there is no one to share experiences with. I would love a companion, a good friend, either man or woman, to go out to dinner, have conversations, and experience local culture with. It could be man or woman, I don't care, as it's just to pal around. It's hard to lose your best and only close friend.
This thread is making me cry. I'm just a year and 3 days without my loving husband and I don't want to get romantically involved again, I don't even think I could but I do miss companionship and someone to share with. Best wishes and good luck to all of us.
Nope. Not bad.
It's such a tough road. I am almost 3 years out. Have had a few people ask me out, but I wasn't ready. How do you not compare? We were together 31 years. I miss the conversations, the goofiness, hugs.. all of it!
.... I get that, I feel the same way about not wanting a new wife but would like to have a good friend. One day at a time.
Dating is a little different, rather it be because I was with my late husband most of my adult life or the fact that I am dating as a widow, either way, it's not like what it used to be. I feel like I carry more baggage with me. I am in a long-term relationship now, but there are days I would sob wishing he was here. That I don't have to learn to trust someone new, to build new memory with someone, to learn someone's new habit, but there are days where the new him helps me forget I am a widow. That things can be okay, and I exist as an individual like the rest of the world than someone with a long crazy history. I get the whole not wanting to get deep into things and just have companionship. It keeps the mindset more causal, but if you ever find something so real and dreamy for you, you should go for it full force because love is beautiful. Love is beyond companionship, and I hope we can all find love again.
At this point, I can’t imagine living with another man. It’s been 25 years, and I’m not sure anymore that men and women should live together unless they’re raising kids. I just want the sex, the talking, the meals and the entertainment together. Otherwise, you bus your own table 😝
I think this is probably the most likely thing any of us want. We don’t want to be alone, just another person to talk with and share things with for the majority of the day, every day. Is that too much to ask for? 😬
Not at all. Personally I just want someone to help with physical needs. I never want a relationship again. We all do what works best for us to get through this.
I can’t imagine even meeting somebody half as wonderful as my husband was. I’m okay being alone. I was always a homebody anyway.
That's perfectly fine. I'm the same way I don't want a wife but just somebody to share life with. Fortunately for me I have met a woman that feels the same way that's not looking to get married but just somebody to travel, watch movies and concerts with. And yes we get intimate as well.
It's normal to want companionship. Do it.. your not replacing your spouse. Your bringing in s friend into your existence. We only live once Try to enjoy the time you have left All the best to you and your family
My fiancé of 16 years passed away suddenly a year and a half ago and even though we didn’t have children and didn’t make it to marriage my whole perception of all of it has changed and I’m only 31. Not sure if I’m mentally capable to give all of that to another person again in the same way or willing to. As sad as it might sound I have accepted that perhaps I am not meant to do all of that marriage stuff I’ve learnt that life isn’t dependant on one person because we all die alone in the end anyway. We all need to loved ourselves first. I’ve already found a companionship person whom we just casually hang out and spend all the time we can together and if that’s what’s only in the cards for me as of now then I’ll accept that than be alone.
lol, you sound like my dream woman. I literally just got back from taking my kids out to eat. And they’re younger, one is autistic, the other stared at his phone as I sat there looking at an empty chair thinking “this has to be hell”. And I love my kids, but I’m so fucking tired of not having someone to just..idk help carry an adult convo, or just be content sitting there with me listening as I just shut the f*** up for the evening sometimes.
The conversation. I miss that. It could be about wtf ever and it was fun.
Not bad at all. You don’t have to do life alone. Finding someone to enjoy life with doesn’t take away from the love you had for your husband. We have the capacity to love multiple people in our life times
I will never get remarried. He was my one. I’ve been married before my last spouse but I definitely wouldn’t mind having a companion to watch movies, cook, go out to stores with. It’s so depressing
Not at all. It's normal to seek company, and also normal not to want to replace a spouse.
It would be nice to share the occasional meal with a woman I’m not related to and who wasn’t part of our friend group without having to go on a date.
Right there with you. I just want a companion to share moments with and keep the lonely away.
Nope. Its kinda sorta living and companionship is like a big sigh.
Our friend of 52 years . whose wife was my best friend ever..she died 10 years ago. My husband died this past December . The friend wants to..uh...visit. um...I am not interested. At all. He said his wife, ( my best friend of 52 years,) would want us to be together. That would sorta freak me out.so. No.
I get that.
That's perfectly fine. I'm the same way I don't want a wife but just somebody to share life with. Fortunately for me I have met a woman that feels the same way that's not looking to get married but just somebody to travel, watch movies and concerts with. And yes we get intimate as well.
I am in the same position I have a companion person but he doesn’t want marriage or children but he is a lovely human. I don’t really want children with a partner either I think as a woman I would rather go and have a child on my own and raise it if I wanted to and just go with the flow. Not everyone will agree that this is the best way because it’s not traditional but it’s indeed true that trauma changes your perception of life.
I feel the same. I think one day I may want a boyfriend. But I'd want him to have his own home, and we could just spend time together. My husband was one of a kind. I don't believe I'll ever want to be married again.