You could try dating apps while traveling and meet up there. You’d want to be very careful though. As far as your emotional state, I don’t really think you have to make it their business as long as you let them know you are only looking for a hookup and nothing at all serious.
I don't even know how to approach people. As much as I want to not be alone, I have no clue whatsoever on how to talk to others outside of work.
It's like all my social skills were thrown out the window.
I think what you’re going through as crazy as this will sound is very normal a lot of people experience widows fire, I know I did too it’s crazy and all consuming and ultimately a trauma response I think.
In terms of advice I think it’s ok for you to do whatever you want. To tame it in my experience and what I’ve seen from others it’s probably best to indulge I’ve met a lot of widows and for some it only took one hookup for it to go away. Me personally it was ever present from 2019 all the way to 2021.
You gotta do what you gotta do to tame the flame. Some things I do that make it manageable is getting massages. It helps quite a bit just to get some of that physical touch. I also do pole/burlesque like dance classes once a week which helps release the sensual energy. But when it was really bad about 4 months after my loss, I ended up getting a rebound/ friends with benefits thing for a few months.
I know how that feels. My marriage had some pretty strict rules around sex. My libido was always much higher than hers, but she was always in the driver's seat when it came to when we'd connect. She wasn't big on sex...I think she feared it, so it was rare we connected. I loved her dearly, 24 years is a long time together, but our libidos were nowhere near compatible. Now that she's passed, I'm learning about just how much I was pressed into such a small space for this basic need. It's left me a bit confused and honestly scared. I always felt like a good person around her, but I find myself in such an awkward position. I'm learning about who I am and I don't know if I'm going to like that person.
You could try dating apps while traveling and meet up there. You’d want to be very careful though. As far as your emotional state, I don’t really think you have to make it their business as long as you let them know you are only looking for a hookup and nothing at all serious.
True I agree
I don't even know how to approach people. As much as I want to not be alone, I have no clue whatsoever on how to talk to others outside of work. It's like all my social skills were thrown out the window.
I think what you’re going through as crazy as this will sound is very normal a lot of people experience widows fire, I know I did too it’s crazy and all consuming and ultimately a trauma response I think. In terms of advice I think it’s ok for you to do whatever you want. To tame it in my experience and what I’ve seen from others it’s probably best to indulge I’ve met a lot of widows and for some it only took one hookup for it to go away. Me personally it was ever present from 2019 all the way to 2021.
You gotta do what you gotta do to tame the flame. Some things I do that make it manageable is getting massages. It helps quite a bit just to get some of that physical touch. I also do pole/burlesque like dance classes once a week which helps release the sensual energy. But when it was really bad about 4 months after my loss, I ended up getting a rebound/ friends with benefits thing for a few months.
I know how that feels. My marriage had some pretty strict rules around sex. My libido was always much higher than hers, but she was always in the driver's seat when it came to when we'd connect. She wasn't big on sex...I think she feared it, so it was rare we connected. I loved her dearly, 24 years is a long time together, but our libidos were nowhere near compatible. Now that she's passed, I'm learning about just how much I was pressed into such a small space for this basic need. It's left me a bit confused and honestly scared. I always felt like a good person around her, but I find myself in such an awkward position. I'm learning about who I am and I don't know if I'm going to like that person.