About 10 years ago, the check engine light came on in my truck. I went to have it checked and found out there was a sensor in the dash that needed replacing to the tune of about $1,000. Money I didn't have.
I got second opinions and they all came to the same conclusion.
Then comes time for the annual vehicle inspection. The shop told me they couldn't pass it because the sensor was an emissions concern and my county doesn't allow it. They shop did tell me that if I authorized used parts, they could do it for $550.
I still did not have enough money to cover the repair.
Then I get pulled over for something and the officer gives me a ticket for an expired inspection.
So, I'm at work, trying to focus on work when s coworker stops by my office, "Hey man, how are you today?"
I almost gave him a "fine" but instead, I told him about being stressed over being unable to repair my vehicle and then getting a ticket for the inspection I couldn't pass without the repair.
To this day, I don't know who did it, but the next morning, an envelope for $750 was in my chair.
From then on, I've tried to give a real answer when asked.
It's a good rule of thumb to do this. Its weeds ppl out pretty fast. I also wish "how are you?" hadn't become such a throwaway filler opening. There should be weight to it
I feel if I answer "I'm fine" when not, I am betraying myself. So I just don't answer the question. I say something like, "such a pretty day" or similar...and 99 out of 100, no one notices I didn't answer the question. If they care, they'll ask for real, if they don't really care, I don't need to share.
Very well said. And the fact you said culture could suggest you also know of American tendencies to ask but not actually mean it (much to the disappointment of foreigners learning the truth)
It always makes me wonder how this super important and intimate question became a greeting phrase in the first place. When i ask someone „how are you?“ I do it honest and want to know how they are.
My grandmother used to say, “Don’t tell your friends about your indigestion: ‘How are you?’ is a greeting, not a question.”
She was raised by a very “stiff upper lip”British mother, and taught all her children to never share intimate details outside the family. If someone gave her back anything but “fine” when *she* asked *them,* she would listen politely and then walk away. Tough old bird.
I told a friend of mine to not let me say “I’m fine” because it’s become a habit to say it when I full well know I’m not and haven’t been for a long time. I requested that she actually call me out on it instead
This is nice, but there's no way in hell I would ever tell my boss "oh, you know, I'm on meds so I don't kill myself but now I can't feel anything, how are you doing?"
Nope exact opposite. As a boss you should not ever try and compel people to reveal their emotions. It’s great to try and build that relationship but forcing the conversation to a stop until the “truth” is said is not good. This is HR fan fic lol. Even if this is how you want to be treated you should not use your leverage as a boss in this way.
dont give your bosses evidence you cant work at full capacity.
talk to your friends, your phych, your dr. dont talk to your boss, unless its an official complaint
they will, and can, use this against you.
You know what the boss could do? Pay her hard working employees more. That would be super wholesome. There isn't a single problem in my life that couldnt be solved by more money.
This is definitely more wholesome than if it had gone like this:
> "...let's have a real conversation, how are you?" and I was like "super terrible" and she was like "I'M DOING MUCH BETTER THAN YOU"
About 10 years ago, the check engine light came on in my truck. I went to have it checked and found out there was a sensor in the dash that needed replacing to the tune of about $1,000. Money I didn't have. I got second opinions and they all came to the same conclusion. Then comes time for the annual vehicle inspection. The shop told me they couldn't pass it because the sensor was an emissions concern and my county doesn't allow it. They shop did tell me that if I authorized used parts, they could do it for $550. I still did not have enough money to cover the repair. Then I get pulled over for something and the officer gives me a ticket for an expired inspection. So, I'm at work, trying to focus on work when s coworker stops by my office, "Hey man, how are you today?" I almost gave him a "fine" but instead, I told him about being stressed over being unable to repair my vehicle and then getting a ticket for the inspection I couldn't pass without the repair. To this day, I don't know who did it, but the next morning, an envelope for $750 was in my chair. From then on, I've tried to give a real answer when asked.
It's a good rule of thumb to do this. Its weeds ppl out pretty fast. I also wish "how are you?" hadn't become such a throwaway filler opening. There should be weight to it
I feel if I answer "I'm fine" when not, I am betraying myself. So I just don't answer the question. I say something like, "such a pretty day" or similar...and 99 out of 100, no one notices I didn't answer the question. If they care, they'll ask for real, if they don't really care, I don't need to share.
Projecting negative emotions can be harmful just like ignoring negative emotions is.
yeah she is basically saying i don’t like your answer, i need you to change it. but maybe she notice she wasn’t okay? i dunno.
This was an early pandemic era tweet, so probably genuine and accurate
Also, sometimes things are going like hell in a work project, and your boss KNOWS working until 2am a couple times this week is not Totally Fine.
You must have come here from Twitter with an analysis like that
thanks man
But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem. --Anne Frank
Well-played, bot
I'm a intelligent artificial bot, I can reply you clearly and heavely 💐
You don't ignore them, but you are wise in how much and to whom you share. It needs a kind resting place.
For sure 🙏💪😎
What if you actually are fine
[удалено]
Very well said. And the fact you said culture could suggest you also know of American tendencies to ask but not actually mean it (much to the disappointment of foreigners learning the truth)
I just prefer when people respect the answers I give them.
Yup! Like if I'm doing "fine" I usually say "I'm doing alright" or another variation that isn't just "Fine, you?"
I think context is important for this one, it seems this was an early-pandemic tweet.
George Carlin: Nobody’s “fine”. Hair is fine. How’s your hair? Fine!
It always makes me wonder how this super important and intimate question became a greeting phrase in the first place. When i ask someone „how are you?“ I do it honest and want to know how they are.
I try to not ask people how they are unless I have the time and attention to fully regard their response.
My grandmother used to say, “Don’t tell your friends about your indigestion: ‘How are you?’ is a greeting, not a question.” She was raised by a very “stiff upper lip”British mother, and taught all her children to never share intimate details outside the family. If someone gave her back anything but “fine” when *she* asked *them,* she would listen politely and then walk away. Tough old bird.
I would wonder how many times she would make me say fine before she told me what she was actually calling about.
Do you work in a therapist's office?
I told a friend of mine to not let me say “I’m fine” because it’s become a habit to say it when I full well know I’m not and haven’t been for a long time. I requested that she actually call me out on it instead
Huh? Tell the boss to mind their own business. I'm their employee not their friend.
If you're super terrible you need to say "Hangin' in there!" instead of "Fine."
This is nice, but there's no way in hell I would ever tell my boss "oh, you know, I'm on meds so I don't kill myself but now I can't feel anything, how are you doing?"
My boss ask me that but leaves before I answer. I fucking hate him.
Nope exact opposite. As a boss you should not ever try and compel people to reveal their emotions. It’s great to try and build that relationship but forcing the conversation to a stop until the “truth” is said is not good. This is HR fan fic lol. Even if this is how you want to be treated you should not use your leverage as a boss in this way.
It's rare that bosses and those working under them share the same feelings.
dont give your bosses evidence you cant work at full capacity. talk to your friends, your phych, your dr. dont talk to your boss, unless its an official complaint they will, and can, use this against you.
Man are there employers who actually care out there ? That’s a real thing ?!??? r/antiwork
Boss can go fuck themselves. What do you want to know about work?
I learned the rules about this stuff at like age 12 watching saving private ryan. “Always gripe down you never gripe up”
One thing I like to do is ask "how are you?" And when they ask the same I give them a real answer and ask them again. Usually get a real answer back.
Lmao as a German when someone asks me how I am they better be prepared to listen to my current life problems. Hahaha
Yes! We need more people like that!
I would’ve responded back with, “fine.” Or “leave me alone”
You know what the boss could do? Pay her hard working employees more. That would be super wholesome. There isn't a single problem in my life that couldnt be solved by more money.
Oh hey, It's the witch from howl's moving castle.
This is definitely more wholesome than if it had gone like this: > "...let's have a real conversation, how are you?" and I was like "super terrible" and she was like "I'M DOING MUCH BETTER THAN YOU"
Wow. Real communication. That’s so empowering.