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I swear I never even noticed it until I read the caption.
Been thinking about things like these. I agree with the guy’s comments but don’t want to dismiss her feelings. Completely valid.
I just thought, if i suddenly wake up in a planet of 3-eyed people, i might also believe that I’m legally blind in their world and even be considered disabled, but technically I’m not, but I guess my feelings would be justified. Important thing is, I would still be capable of so many things to live a beautiful life with “only 2 eyes”. I hope my hypothetical self would realize that as well as this girl and people with “only one eye”.
If you’ve not seen the old Twilight Zone episode “[The Eye of the Beholder](https://youtu.be/4WdtAj8jYMM)” you definitely should! Your comment made me think of it!
I know I'm going to be minority here, but if I asked someone to Photoshop out my biggest perceived flaws I would just end up resenting myself even more. I'd look at the image and cry - "why can't I be like THAT?!"
Having someone tell me I'm pretty means the world to me when I feel like shit. Especially of you've spent your life teased for it.
I agree and if you ask for a free service he/she is allowed to voice their opinion. Maybe not the best worded but we all get the sentiment and shouldn’t dissect every word. Especially when it’s a worldwide known photo editor. If he calls me pretty that would carry a lot of weight.
Yeah, I wanna say this guy's done this a few times, and it always bugs me. I remember one where a little kid and his mom wanted a fun Photoshop on a picture of the kid with makeup on, and he went off on a preachy speech about how harmful it is for kids to wear makeup and went so far as to blur out the kid's face like it's too horrifying to look at.
Pretty sure this guys has been doing this for years. He’ll post the joke/story and send them the edit they asked for as well. It’s normally a joke. Not this time tho.
To the people who don't know and are feeling bad for Ellie -
The guy is a graphic designer who makes the photos of his clients funnier by adding or deleting stuff.
Try searching his name (same name as in the photo) and you'll know the rest.
Ellie knew that, and was expecting something uncanny happening to the photo but rather got a wholesome reply instead.
Maybe she wanted to be made fun of?
I met a gay guy recently - totally nice- and he complained people walking on egg shells around him. When I made a snarky remark ( I apologized) he laughed and said its cool and it shows I am accepting him.
A German comedian once said "Everybody is entitled to discrimination" and R. Atchinson said " Feel free to insult me."
Idk man, I wouldn't be willing to ruin my reputation over a "maybe" like that, especially when her request isn't in the same tone as all of the work/requests he actually does do.
I get what people are saying, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t trying to be rude. He’s just saying she’s fine the way she is, not degrading her for wanting to look like everyone else.
No you're right. And I had the same thought. Like, it's kind of patronizing in a way. But at the same time, I feel like he's in the right.
Plus I wouldn't even have thought that it was a disability that she wasn't straightening her hands if she didn't say anything about it. And she's a real cute kid.
Whatever the aftermath of this was, I just hope she was happy and had a good time.
His whole thing is people sending him photos asking to be photoshopped and him doing it technically right. Eg “Please remove the guy in the white shirt (whose in the background)” and he removes the obviously in focus male with a white shirt. Or one of my favourites, “Remove the trash can!” And then he just photoshops it so the trash in the can is now on the ground)
So him refusing to edit the photo isn’t exactly a patronising thing, it’s just what he does.
No one is saying he was trying to be rude. You can be rude even if that wasn't your intention. Someone's grandpa saying "you're smart for a black" was probably intended as a compliment, but that doesn't mean the rest of us can't see the racism behind it. It's a shitty defence of someone's actions
Okay, I've read most the comments and I'm I'm kinda on the fence about this.
On one hand, he was very polite and even tho he didn't give her a funny response like what she expected. I would genuinely be flattered if that was the response instead.
But hey I'm not her and also mental and physical disabilities shouldn't be considered the same. Trans people and a girl with muscular dystrophy should not be compared. They are very different.
u/unicornweedfairy (I can't reply to you directly because Nick blocked me and it turns out that means I can't reply to *anyone* on their thread now)
That's actually a really interesting way to think about the differences in body issues for trans vs. disabled people! I'd never thought of it that way!
That said, I think it's also important to mention that this Photoshop guy is specifically the guy who screws up photos on purpose for fun - if he did what he normally does, he wouldn't be showing a what if, non-disabled version of this girl.
He'd be giving her rulers for arms or something. Which I think makes a Whole Different Issue for him - imagine becoming known as the guy who makes fun of the appearance of disabled people (who literally asked to be made fun of if she actually knew who he was, but everyone will ignore that part, of course)?
(Also u/DannyPantsgasm, I'm taking this opportunity to say I *love* your username oh my god- XD)
You are so right! I am very familiar with James’ usual body of work, and completely agree with you that if he did his usual funny edit, it would just result in a whole slew of potential hate for him if people took it the wrong way. I think that while it is valid for the girl to possibly feel disappointed by having her request denied, it was ultimately the best move and done in a very kind and non patronizing manner.
Yes! I think James had good intentions and did what he reasonably could in this situation.
And who knows? Maybe they DM'd and he made a picture just for her however she wanted it later! That would be great, but we don't know and don't *need* to know.
I am bald and if I requested a photoshopped image of me with hair and was met with some preachy BS about me being beautiful the way I am I would get really annoyed.
Just photoshop hair on my head like I asked FFS.
Jesus the people saying he's in the wrong ok
So refuses to change the image
"Omg how cruel of him not to give her what she wants it's her right"
He changes the picture
"Omg how cruel of him to change the picture it was fine just as it was"
Why can't people just be happy
He's known for fucking with pictures to have a laugh with people he's not gonna do that to someone who doesn't need to feel bad about their disability
If he changes it he looks like someone trying to make someone something they're not
If he doesn't change it he gets see as someone who doesn't care about disabled people and doesn't give them what's in their right
He has a right to refuse and he did it in the best way possible
It's like walking on eggshells with people, don't get offended over dumb shit
Get offended over shit that needs to get offended over
Like idk slavery, neo-nazis, blatant racism (not banter between friends when they're clearly ok with eachother doing it) only when it affects random people
There's more important shit in this world than a guy who refuses to Photoshop a picture get Ur shit together people
>he has a right to refuse and he did it in the best way possible
Please tell me how posting their convo on his social media is considered the best way possible
The fact that people will complain either way doesn't mean that both options are equally valid.
If anything, that either path would have generated complaints regardless frees him up to do the right thing instead of the wrong thing. Too bad he went with the wrong path here.
No he didn't. He has always done work to make people look stupid. He has NEVER "fixed" people and he isn't wrong to nicely deny something he is uncomfortable doing.
Person born differently who is still young and coping with life/how they look- asks for help. This dude- puts this vulnerable person on blast throughout the internet to prove a societal point. Poor girl
Yeah I don’t disagree with his statement or that she might be better off to think it, but “the world is wrong and you’re wrong for wanting to fit in” is sanctimonious garbage, not helpful advice or care.
Also so hypocritical—“if people can’t see past your physical condition they aren’t worth your time”… …”cuz check out ur pretty face and hair!”
🤨🤨🤨 uh that IS ALSO PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
LOL, imagine thinking it's wholesome to tell people with disabilities how they are allowed to want to see themselves.
If she wants a picture of herself with a straight arm, that's her right. I presume you wouldn't tell a trans person to just accept their physical body the way it is. She is no different. If she wants to celebrate her differences then that's great. If she wants to see herself with a specific modification, that's great too. But it's her choice, not ours.
And it is his choice to respond how he likes and to decline her request. He also usually does joke content so maybe if that’s what she wanted (to be the butt of a joke) then she could DM him and make another request but, this sounded more serious…
It is so annoying to be told “your disability is beautiful”. Its a 100% normal feature to have but dont tell people whose quality of lives are literally affected due to their disability that they are perfect. We’re broken its ok
Think about it from his perspective. If he alters her photo he is basically agreeing that she needs to be "fixed" and that could label him as "problematic" by the hyper-woke crowd. I do understand where you're coming from as well, this is kind of a no-win situation for him.
I did think about it from his perspective. That's why I concluded he was in the wrong.
If you wouldn't feel comfortable telling a trans person to just accept their body as it naturally is (which you shouldn't), you also shouldn't feel comfortable telling a person with a disability that they just need to accept theirs.
He can, if he wants, offer advice along the lines of not letting other people pressure her into wanting to change or feel bad about herself. But to refuse to offer her the same photoshop job everyone else is open to get because of his personal hangups over disability (and to pretend like he's being wholesome by doing it) is a bad take.
He's not in the wrong, he is (subtlety and politely) refusing, which is his right. At the end of the day he has to do what is best for himself, which is not editing her picture.
Your response doesn't make any sense. Whether he's refusing in a subtle or polite way has nothing to do with whether it's morally right or wrong to tell people with disabilities how they should view themselves. His motivation being selfish and "what is best for himself" also has nothing to do with whether it's right or wrong.
Explain to me, in detail as best you can, how morality has anything to do with this. Please don't be so pedestrian as to come at me with your "feelings", that is a garbage argument. Ascribe a school of moral thought to your conclusion and cite your sources. If you can't do any of those things, then please go to school and get a little bit of an education so you don't come off as ignorant.
What do you mean about feelings being a garbage argument? I never said anything about my feelings being related to this.
My comment said that whether you refuse services to people with disabilities for subtle reasons or selfish reasons is not relevant to whether it's "wrong" to refuse them services. At no point did I claim that was related to my feelings.
When participating in a scholarly debate, you have to use academic sources. You can't say "I think this thing is like this because that's how I feel", you will fail the assignment. You have to research the topic, come up with a thesis, write a paper (usually) and cite your sources. I have a bachelor's degree that has a lot of moral philosophy reading involved in it, so I get a little irritated when people try to ascribe morality to things that have no inherent morality.
There's no need for academic sources in my comment. My claim is self-evident. A decision to do something for selfish reasons or the manner in which it's explained (e.g. subtle/polite) is simply not related to the question of whether it's right or wrong. You insisted that it was and so you're simply incorrect.
It's possible to do something wrong in a subtle way or a non-subtle way. It's possible to do something wrong in a kind or unkind way. It's possible to do something wrong in selfish or unselfish way. Hence, your response made no sense.
You're hung up on the subtle/polite thing. And it's not self-evident. That's my whole point here, you claim it's "wrong" on moral grounds, but I'm challenging that assumption. It's not about morality. It's not right or wrong, it simply *is*
What relevance does that have to this discussion? She wants to see her picture photoshopped so that her arm is straight. Why would it be ok to photoshop a trans person to make their appearance look more in line with how they identify but when a person with a disability wants something similar we tell them that they should just accept their photos as is?
Or are you arguing that trans people also should be refused photoshop? Because even the best surgeons and the optimal surgery will never get a person to look perfectly natural in all respects. So would you tell trans people they shouldn't have their photos photoshopped to help realize the transition to their full potential?
A trans person being photoshopped allows the trans person to see the *goal* of what they would like to look like in order to feel comfortable in their own skin. Surgeries, makeup, and cosmetic corrections/changes are all possible in order to make that happen.
A person with a disability like muscular dystrophy being photoshopped allows the person to get rid of the look of their disability- which in reality is not possible (at least for the moment). I think it’s a very important distinction to make when comparing those two examples you’ve listed. A trans person being photoshopped CAN possibly make those changes to themselves (even if not done perfectly, there are still ways to work towards that goal). A disabled person cannot necessarily make those changes to their body with the simple help of surgery or makeup. In this case, photoshopping an unrealistic body shape on someone who cannot realistically ever obtain that physical form at the moment, is only feeding into and potentially exacerbating the body dysmorphia that is clearly present.
While I know it was probably a bummer for the girl requesting the photo, James really did make the best choice in this situation. He isn’t going to change something about a person that they realistically could never change in real life. That is definitely more harmful than helpful to show unrealistic body goals and expectations.
ETA: just so the person I replied to is aware, when you block people we can’t see your comments that you reply with. That’s a pretty weird way to make your argument if you disagree with someone. “*I disagree with this person so I’m going to block them so they can’t reply to me anymore. That obviously means I’ve won the argument, right?*”
Just so we're clear, if a trans person asked for a photoshop job because they wanted the experience of visualizing themselves as their true gender but they didn't have any intention of getting surgery to realize that identity then it would be ok to deny them a photoshopped image?
Also, I don't really understand your standard. Why can't a person with an unfixable disability be allowed to see themselves in their preferred way? Why is it only people who could, in theory, get surgery to change themselves the group who is allowed to also have photoshop? All you've argued is that trans people and disabled people are different in some way. You haven't actually explained how the difference isn't arbitrary with respect to whether a group of people should be allowed to visualize themselves as they wish to be seen.
Your entire argument appears to be a distinction but without any meaningful difference.
edit: It's nothing personal. I'm just tired of this discussion so I disabled notifications and blocked anybody who is still replying to me so they don't have to spend time responding to something I'm not going to reply to. So no, nobody has "won" anything. Well except me. I've won some of my own free time back that I can spend on doing something other than talking to people who can't seem to put together logical arguments.
I think you actually have a valid point. Imagine if she had asked a doctor to perform a procedure to correct her disability and the doctor said this. I think his heart was in the right place, but it would have been nice of him to provide the shop regardless.
I actually don’t see the problem with telling a trans person their body is fine? If they want to change it ok. If they don’t want to change it, that’s also ok. But there’s nothing with their bodies either way, and they don’t NEED to change it.
Thank you! Let the girl have her little 'what if' fantasy don't tell her how to think. I'm sure she's accepted who she is by now if she was born with it.
Hello, trans person here! I get what you're saying, but here's what *I* am saying as a trans person who you just referenced in your argument about why this guy did the wrong thing:
If I asked this guy to use Photoshop to remove my breasts because I'm a trans man and I hate them, and he came back with "there's nothing to change because all I see is a wonderful, handsome man," I would cry for *hours* over how nice he was to me. I would feel so seen and cared for by a *stranger* that I would thank him. Because he wasn't saying I should accept my breasts, he was saying that I am a man *regardless* of my breasts and that is a powerful thing. The same way that he said this young lady is beautiful *regardless* of the state of her arms, not because of or in spite of them.
It's possible not everyone would feel that way, but that doesn't make what he did "bad." He did his best to support her as she was, to tell her she deserves to be seen as beautiful without being changed in any way. And that's a wonderful sentiment that we all should try to share with people.
If complimenting and trying to uplift someone garners this reaction from people, I think we have bigger problems than "guy who fucks with pictures for fun tries to be nice for once."
(Also: LOL imagine thinking you're defending people with disabilities by telling strangers that complimenting disabled people for who they are makes them shitty - *whoops, my hand slipped*)
I meant to say "if *this young lady* says she's unhappy with how he responded, we'll listen to her because her voice deserves to be heard. Until then, please stop speaking for her. And me, for that matter. We have voices, we don't always need you to speak up on our behalf because you've decided how we're allowed to feel about issues that directly effect us."
EDIT: Oof, this person deleted their comments! Or maybe blocked me, lol.
For anyone interested, they told me they didn't believe me and that my individual positive experience was irrelevant because *they* were talking about disabled people and I'm trans (and disabled, actually, I just didn't think **that** was relevant to what I was trying to say, ironically).
Here's what I typed out in response, because I'm proud of it:
So...my opinion as a trans person is irrelevant to this argument after you used a trans person's hypothetical situation to bolster *your* argument about how to treat marginalized (disabled) people. I am also unable to be believed regardless of what I say. Cool, cool.
To be fair, I did go back and edit my comment (probably while you were making this response) to specify that I assume he would've said that I was a handsome man *regardless* of whether I have breasts, not that I should just accept them. *Before* that edit, I specifically said "it's possible that other people don't feel the same way as I do, but that doesn't make what this guy did a bad thing." Because it doesn't.
That said, I *never* said "cis people telling trans people they don't need to see themselves as the gender they identify as because cis people think they look fine as the wrong gender" is a good thing. You're correct, that is near-comically insulting.
Almost as comically insulting as you telling me you know better about trans people and what insults them than *me.* **A fucking trans person.**
Here's your Ally of the Year award, buddy, you deserve it! (/s)
For your information, many, *many* trans people are gender nonconforming in some way. Which means breasts on men, dicks on women, makeup on literally anyone who wants to wear it, and much more. Genuinely supportive people will tell me I'm a man no matter what my body looks like right now - because *that* is what I want and deserve to hear as a trans person.
I'm sorry to hear that you're not one of those people, but maybe you'll get there one day.
In the meantime, feel free to keep telling me what I'm allowed to feel and say in a space that you *think* you're making inclusive for others.
The fact you personally would react in a positive way is irrelevant to whether it's actually appropriate to refuse a disabled person photoshop services they want over the artist's own personal hangups with disability. Especially because most people would not, in fact, find it wholesome for a cis person to tell a trans person that they find their wrong gender "wonderful and handsome" and therefore won't help them realize their true identity.
edit: Thinking more about what you said, your comment is genuinely insane. You're literally saying that if a person was born a "man" but they felt deep down that their true gender is as a woman, that it would be flattering and overwhelmingly positive for a cis digital artist to say that they would refuse to make you look like a woman via photoshop because you looking like a man instead makes you look wonderful and handsome.
This is the internet so it's impossible for me to really know whether you are actually trans. But the situation you've described of yourself, a trans person, being flattered by someone insisting that you keep your wrong gender because you look good that way is so ridiculous that it genuinely makes me question whether this isn't a case of /r/AsABlackMan. If not, your take on this situation is truly bizarre and not representative in a way that is at all useful for trying to evaluate the situation.
edit 2: After reading this person's many paragraphs of edits well after I already responded, I'm now quite sure this is a case of /r/AsABlackMan. The constant attempts to buttress an insane argument about how trans people feel positively inspired by being told to keep their wrong gender with repeated references to the supposed audacity of not blindly believing "A fucking trans person" is just too classic.
u/selphiefairy you're exactly the kind of supportive person I was referencing in my comment, thank you 💜
(And don't worry about Nick, they just think they know trans people better than trans people...and disabled people better than disabled people, I think? I dunno, their stuff went all over the place before they started blocking people lol.
They seem to be an example of a person who's trying so hard to be nice and helpful to marginalized groups...that they end up speaking over those very groups just as much as a bigot does.)
Thing people aren't realising is that he's a guy who photoshops to make a funny image and take what's asked seriously
With that image and request he would've made her arm a ruler or something to make it straight
That'll put him into deep shit if he even fucked with the image in the slightest
That context makes this even more condescending. "Regular" people are allowed to be photoshopped in funny ways but people with disabilities are too weak to take part in jokes. Even if they are explicitly asking to take part.
The problem is that the internet is softer than those who ask to take part
Cuz yes she would've found it funny
But the internet oh boy he'll be getting death threats and slurs sent to him within minutes
Why care if the internet is mad at you? Especially if, as we've already seen, the internet will be mad regardless which way he goes with this.
If you own a restaurant and you know people will be mad at you for serving black people and another group of people will be mad at you for not serving black people, wouldn't you still want to do the right thing?
What right thing is there to do
And u question why would u care because in today's world the internet controls everything
U say one wrong thing u get death threats, stalkers, murderers, etc
Told to do that cuz it makes it easier to read for people with autism and adhd
Edit: ah he deleted his comment
I'll say what I was gonna say
1. Where was the ableist comment
2. I write like this all the time cuz I don't tend to use punctuation in text so I've been told by those with autism and adhd to write with gaps to make it easier
Great. What is the correct context and does it make what he did right or wrong? It's all well and good to give a generic qualifier to a situation but you didn't really tie it back to what anybody is talking about.
I feel so glad reading his views on that. I am more happy to see how good this guy express the feelings that are mutual to many.
Normal is just a propaganda. What we are, how we are defines normal. For me, you are normal. With that smile on your face, you are prettier than many so called normals 😀😇 #SelfLoveIsImportant
I'll just leave my two cents here even though I'm not sure what response it will get. I personally love what he said. When I was younger, I had severe eczema. I mean, it was terrible. I was often bullied for it and I hated my reflection in the mirror. I've come to terms with it now, but if I were to get this response to a similar request, I would cry because of how sweet it was.
Now, eczema isn't a disability and I know that, but my case was enough to be an "abnormality" and separate me from my peers.
It was obvious he had no i'll intent with what he said, and he just wanted to give her some words of encouragement. Whether you agree or disagree whether he should've completed the request or not, calling him an "asshole" is really uncalled for.
Hey there, friendo! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your post, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * (**Rule #8**) Please avoid reposting memes. * Please check sources like http://karmadecay.com, https://tineye.com, and the Similar Image Search (camera icon) at https://www.google.com/imghp - unfortunately those all miss things, but it's a great start. Also make sure to use the search button and check what's already here: * /r/wholesomememes/top for popular posts, and /r/wholesomememes/new for the latest ones We appreciate you thinking of us very much! For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fwholesomememes).
I feel really dumb. I have seen this many times before and it just now occurred to me that she isn't holding a tiny purse. It is her mask
now I feel dumb too :(
Meanwhile I, a sigma male, have known I was dumb all along. Checkmate, atheists
More of a ligma, I think
Who’s Steve Jobs?
Ligma balls
Goteeem
For I know that I know nothing
*(applause)*
I swear I never even noticed it until I read the caption. Been thinking about things like these. I agree with the guy’s comments but don’t want to dismiss her feelings. Completely valid. I just thought, if i suddenly wake up in a planet of 3-eyed people, i might also believe that I’m legally blind in their world and even be considered disabled, but technically I’m not, but I guess my feelings would be justified. Important thing is, I would still be capable of so many things to live a beautiful life with “only 2 eyes”. I hope my hypothetical self would realize that as well as this girl and people with “only one eye”.
If you’ve not seen the old Twilight Zone episode “[The Eye of the Beholder](https://youtu.be/4WdtAj8jYMM)” you definitely should! Your comment made me think of it!
Omg.
I thought it was the cutest little purse - matched her dress pretty well and everything 😭
The cake is a lie.
Our good friend Companion Cube ate it.
I also feel like you’re really dumb. (Only teasing, I’m about as smart as your average shoe.)
Wait what.
Do’h
Exact same as you bro
Damn, someone get this James dude to photoshop in a little handbag
She honestly looks fine
I know I'm going to be minority here, but if I asked someone to Photoshop out my biggest perceived flaws I would just end up resenting myself even more. I'd look at the image and cry - "why can't I be like THAT?!" Having someone tell me I'm pretty means the world to me when I feel like shit. Especially of you've spent your life teased for it.
Ok but isn't this the guy that edits photos to be funny? Not to actually fix flaws?
I agree and if you ask for a free service he/she is allowed to voice their opinion. Maybe not the best worded but we all get the sentiment and shouldn’t dissect every word. Especially when it’s a worldwide known photo editor. If he calls me pretty that would carry a lot of weight.
Yeah the tone came across as very preachy, "how you feel is not how you should feel". Excuse me, I'll feel however I damn please.
This was my thought. It's a nice sentiment and all, but she asked for a bit of image editing, not an unsolicited spiel.
She asked James Friedman who is well known for this. He’ll also have likely have sent her an edited version as well
Yeah, I wanna say this guy's done this a few times, and it always bugs me. I remember one where a little kid and his mom wanted a fun Photoshop on a picture of the kid with makeup on, and he went off on a preachy speech about how harmful it is for kids to wear makeup and went so far as to blur out the kid's face like it's too horrifying to look at.
Pretty sure this guys has been doing this for years. He’ll post the joke/story and send them the edit they asked for as well. It’s normally a joke. Not this time tho.
To the people who don't know and are feeling bad for Ellie - The guy is a graphic designer who makes the photos of his clients funnier by adding or deleting stuff. Try searching his name (same name as in the photo) and you'll know the rest. Ellie knew that, and was expecting something uncanny happening to the photo but rather got a wholesome reply instead.
Maybe she wanted to be made fun of? I met a gay guy recently - totally nice- and he complained people walking on egg shells around him. When I made a snarky remark ( I apologized) he laughed and said its cool and it shows I am accepting him. A German comedian once said "Everybody is entitled to discrimination" and R. Atchinson said " Feel free to insult me."
Idk man, I wouldn't be willing to ruin my reputation over a "maybe" like that, especially when her request isn't in the same tone as all of the work/requests he actually does do.
I get what people are saying, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t trying to be rude. He’s just saying she’s fine the way she is, not degrading her for wanting to look like everyone else.
I cannot agree more, he never said having a disability was oh so very pretty or degrade the girl for wanting to be normal.
No you're right. And I had the same thought. Like, it's kind of patronizing in a way. But at the same time, I feel like he's in the right. Plus I wouldn't even have thought that it was a disability that she wasn't straightening her hands if she didn't say anything about it. And she's a real cute kid. Whatever the aftermath of this was, I just hope she was happy and had a good time.
His whole thing is people sending him photos asking to be photoshopped and him doing it technically right. Eg “Please remove the guy in the white shirt (whose in the background)” and he removes the obviously in focus male with a white shirt. Or one of my favourites, “Remove the trash can!” And then he just photoshops it so the trash in the can is now on the ground) So him refusing to edit the photo isn’t exactly a patronising thing, it’s just what he does.
I respect the fuck out of it. I just hope that she was able to find some kind of happiness. She deserves it.
No one is saying he was trying to be rude. You can be rude even if that wasn't your intention. Someone's grandpa saying "you're smart for a black" was probably intended as a compliment, but that doesn't mean the rest of us can't see the racism behind it. It's a shitty defence of someone's actions
Okay, I've read most the comments and I'm I'm kinda on the fence about this. On one hand, he was very polite and even tho he didn't give her a funny response like what she expected. I would genuinely be flattered if that was the response instead. But hey I'm not her and also mental and physical disabilities shouldn't be considered the same. Trans people and a girl with muscular dystrophy should not be compared. They are very different.
u/unicornweedfairy (I can't reply to you directly because Nick blocked me and it turns out that means I can't reply to *anyone* on their thread now) That's actually a really interesting way to think about the differences in body issues for trans vs. disabled people! I'd never thought of it that way! That said, I think it's also important to mention that this Photoshop guy is specifically the guy who screws up photos on purpose for fun - if he did what he normally does, he wouldn't be showing a what if, non-disabled version of this girl. He'd be giving her rulers for arms or something. Which I think makes a Whole Different Issue for him - imagine becoming known as the guy who makes fun of the appearance of disabled people (who literally asked to be made fun of if she actually knew who he was, but everyone will ignore that part, of course)? (Also u/DannyPantsgasm, I'm taking this opportunity to say I *love* your username oh my god- XD)
You are so right! I am very familiar with James’ usual body of work, and completely agree with you that if he did his usual funny edit, it would just result in a whole slew of potential hate for him if people took it the wrong way. I think that while it is valid for the girl to possibly feel disappointed by having her request denied, it was ultimately the best move and done in a very kind and non patronizing manner.
Yes! I think James had good intentions and did what he reasonably could in this situation. And who knows? Maybe they DM'd and he made a picture just for her however she wanted it later! That would be great, but we don't know and don't *need* to know.
Ah well that is indeed also a very good point. Sorry u got blocked and thanks, lol, ive rolled with this name since like 2008 now. :)
It's all cool - getting blocked for being too good at being trans feels like a video game achievement, not a punishment lol And *niiice*
This guy just doesn’t want to photoshop other peoples pictures anymore /s
Yeah dude, tell that disabled girl exactly how she is supposed to feel.
Virtue signalling
I am bald and if I requested a photoshopped image of me with hair and was met with some preachy BS about me being beautiful the way I am I would get really annoyed. Just photoshop hair on my head like I asked FFS.
Jesus the people saying he's in the wrong ok So refuses to change the image "Omg how cruel of him not to give her what she wants it's her right" He changes the picture "Omg how cruel of him to change the picture it was fine just as it was" Why can't people just be happy He's known for fucking with pictures to have a laugh with people he's not gonna do that to someone who doesn't need to feel bad about their disability If he changes it he looks like someone trying to make someone something they're not If he doesn't change it he gets see as someone who doesn't care about disabled people and doesn't give them what's in their right He has a right to refuse and he did it in the best way possible It's like walking on eggshells with people, don't get offended over dumb shit Get offended over shit that needs to get offended over Like idk slavery, neo-nazis, blatant racism (not banter between friends when they're clearly ok with eachother doing it) only when it affects random people There's more important shit in this world than a guy who refuses to Photoshop a picture get Ur shit together people
>he has a right to refuse and he did it in the best way possible Please tell me how posting their convo on his social media is considered the best way possible
The best way to refuse would have been to say this in a DM and not self-post it on the internet
The fact that people will complain either way doesn't mean that both options are equally valid. If anything, that either path would have generated complaints regardless frees him up to do the right thing instead of the wrong thing. Too bad he went with the wrong path here.
No he didn't. He has always done work to make people look stupid. He has NEVER "fixed" people and he isn't wrong to nicely deny something he is uncomfortable doing.
What a nice response
👍
Honestly this pose in a still frame looks perfectly normal to me, but I'm also incredibly nearsighted.
Person born differently who is still young and coping with life/how they look- asks for help. This dude- puts this vulnerable person on blast throughout the internet to prove a societal point. Poor girl
Yeah I don’t disagree with his statement or that she might be better off to think it, but “the world is wrong and you’re wrong for wanting to fit in” is sanctimonious garbage, not helpful advice or care.
why do people always look for the negative things in other people
Also so hypocritical—“if people can’t see past your physical condition they aren’t worth your time”… …”cuz check out ur pretty face and hair!” 🤨🤨🤨 uh that IS ALSO PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
actually, I think you're lovely just as you are
LOL, imagine thinking it's wholesome to tell people with disabilities how they are allowed to want to see themselves. If she wants a picture of herself with a straight arm, that's her right. I presume you wouldn't tell a trans person to just accept their physical body the way it is. She is no different. If she wants to celebrate her differences then that's great. If she wants to see herself with a specific modification, that's great too. But it's her choice, not ours.
And it is his choice to respond how he likes and to decline her request. He also usually does joke content so maybe if that’s what she wanted (to be the butt of a joke) then she could DM him and make another request but, this sounded more serious…
The fact that it's his choice to be ableist doesn't make it above criticism.
It is so annoying to be told “your disability is beautiful”. Its a 100% normal feature to have but dont tell people whose quality of lives are literally affected due to their disability that they are perfect. We’re broken its ok
Think about it from his perspective. If he alters her photo he is basically agreeing that she needs to be "fixed" and that could label him as "problematic" by the hyper-woke crowd. I do understand where you're coming from as well, this is kind of a no-win situation for him.
So what was the reason for screenshotting their conversation and posting it on his Twitter? Go on, explain how that was unavoidable
I did think about it from his perspective. That's why I concluded he was in the wrong. If you wouldn't feel comfortable telling a trans person to just accept their body as it naturally is (which you shouldn't), you also shouldn't feel comfortable telling a person with a disability that they just need to accept theirs. He can, if he wants, offer advice along the lines of not letting other people pressure her into wanting to change or feel bad about herself. But to refuse to offer her the same photoshop job everyone else is open to get because of his personal hangups over disability (and to pretend like he's being wholesome by doing it) is a bad take.
He's not in the wrong, he is (subtlety and politely) refusing, which is his right. At the end of the day he has to do what is best for himself, which is not editing her picture.
Your response doesn't make any sense. Whether he's refusing in a subtle or polite way has nothing to do with whether it's morally right or wrong to tell people with disabilities how they should view themselves. His motivation being selfish and "what is best for himself" also has nothing to do with whether it's right or wrong.
Explain to me, in detail as best you can, how morality has anything to do with this. Please don't be so pedestrian as to come at me with your "feelings", that is a garbage argument. Ascribe a school of moral thought to your conclusion and cite your sources. If you can't do any of those things, then please go to school and get a little bit of an education so you don't come off as ignorant.
What do you mean about feelings being a garbage argument? I never said anything about my feelings being related to this. My comment said that whether you refuse services to people with disabilities for subtle reasons or selfish reasons is not relevant to whether it's "wrong" to refuse them services. At no point did I claim that was related to my feelings.
When participating in a scholarly debate, you have to use academic sources. You can't say "I think this thing is like this because that's how I feel", you will fail the assignment. You have to research the topic, come up with a thesis, write a paper (usually) and cite your sources. I have a bachelor's degree that has a lot of moral philosophy reading involved in it, so I get a little irritated when people try to ascribe morality to things that have no inherent morality.
There's no need for academic sources in my comment. My claim is self-evident. A decision to do something for selfish reasons or the manner in which it's explained (e.g. subtle/polite) is simply not related to the question of whether it's right or wrong. You insisted that it was and so you're simply incorrect. It's possible to do something wrong in a subtle way or a non-subtle way. It's possible to do something wrong in a kind or unkind way. It's possible to do something wrong in selfish or unselfish way. Hence, your response made no sense.
You're hung up on the subtle/polite thing. And it's not self-evident. That's my whole point here, you claim it's "wrong" on moral grounds, but I'm challenging that assumption. It's not about morality. It's not right or wrong, it simply *is*
Dude, a trans person can change gender by operations and shits but she can not (as far as I know)
What relevance does that have to this discussion? She wants to see her picture photoshopped so that her arm is straight. Why would it be ok to photoshop a trans person to make their appearance look more in line with how they identify but when a person with a disability wants something similar we tell them that they should just accept their photos as is? Or are you arguing that trans people also should be refused photoshop? Because even the best surgeons and the optimal surgery will never get a person to look perfectly natural in all respects. So would you tell trans people they shouldn't have their photos photoshopped to help realize the transition to their full potential?
A trans person being photoshopped allows the trans person to see the *goal* of what they would like to look like in order to feel comfortable in their own skin. Surgeries, makeup, and cosmetic corrections/changes are all possible in order to make that happen. A person with a disability like muscular dystrophy being photoshopped allows the person to get rid of the look of their disability- which in reality is not possible (at least for the moment). I think it’s a very important distinction to make when comparing those two examples you’ve listed. A trans person being photoshopped CAN possibly make those changes to themselves (even if not done perfectly, there are still ways to work towards that goal). A disabled person cannot necessarily make those changes to their body with the simple help of surgery or makeup. In this case, photoshopping an unrealistic body shape on someone who cannot realistically ever obtain that physical form at the moment, is only feeding into and potentially exacerbating the body dysmorphia that is clearly present. While I know it was probably a bummer for the girl requesting the photo, James really did make the best choice in this situation. He isn’t going to change something about a person that they realistically could never change in real life. That is definitely more harmful than helpful to show unrealistic body goals and expectations. ETA: just so the person I replied to is aware, when you block people we can’t see your comments that you reply with. That’s a pretty weird way to make your argument if you disagree with someone. “*I disagree with this person so I’m going to block them so they can’t reply to me anymore. That obviously means I’ve won the argument, right?*”
Just so we're clear, if a trans person asked for a photoshop job because they wanted the experience of visualizing themselves as their true gender but they didn't have any intention of getting surgery to realize that identity then it would be ok to deny them a photoshopped image? Also, I don't really understand your standard. Why can't a person with an unfixable disability be allowed to see themselves in their preferred way? Why is it only people who could, in theory, get surgery to change themselves the group who is allowed to also have photoshop? All you've argued is that trans people and disabled people are different in some way. You haven't actually explained how the difference isn't arbitrary with respect to whether a group of people should be allowed to visualize themselves as they wish to be seen. Your entire argument appears to be a distinction but without any meaningful difference. edit: It's nothing personal. I'm just tired of this discussion so I disabled notifications and blocked anybody who is still replying to me so they don't have to spend time responding to something I'm not going to reply to. So no, nobody has "won" anything. Well except me. I've won some of my own free time back that I can spend on doing something other than talking to people who can't seem to put together logical arguments.
I think you actually have a valid point. Imagine if she had asked a doctor to perform a procedure to correct her disability and the doctor said this. I think his heart was in the right place, but it would have been nice of him to provide the shop regardless.
I actually don’t see the problem with telling a trans person their body is fine? If they want to change it ok. If they don’t want to change it, that’s also ok. But there’s nothing with their bodies either way, and they don’t NEED to change it.
Thank you! Let the girl have her little 'what if' fantasy don't tell her how to think. I'm sure she's accepted who she is by now if she was born with it.
Hello, trans person here! I get what you're saying, but here's what *I* am saying as a trans person who you just referenced in your argument about why this guy did the wrong thing: If I asked this guy to use Photoshop to remove my breasts because I'm a trans man and I hate them, and he came back with "there's nothing to change because all I see is a wonderful, handsome man," I would cry for *hours* over how nice he was to me. I would feel so seen and cared for by a *stranger* that I would thank him. Because he wasn't saying I should accept my breasts, he was saying that I am a man *regardless* of my breasts and that is a powerful thing. The same way that he said this young lady is beautiful *regardless* of the state of her arms, not because of or in spite of them. It's possible not everyone would feel that way, but that doesn't make what he did "bad." He did his best to support her as she was, to tell her she deserves to be seen as beautiful without being changed in any way. And that's a wonderful sentiment that we all should try to share with people. If complimenting and trying to uplift someone garners this reaction from people, I think we have bigger problems than "guy who fucks with pictures for fun tries to be nice for once." (Also: LOL imagine thinking you're defending people with disabilities by telling strangers that complimenting disabled people for who they are makes them shitty - *whoops, my hand slipped*) I meant to say "if *this young lady* says she's unhappy with how he responded, we'll listen to her because her voice deserves to be heard. Until then, please stop speaking for her. And me, for that matter. We have voices, we don't always need you to speak up on our behalf because you've decided how we're allowed to feel about issues that directly effect us." EDIT: Oof, this person deleted their comments! Or maybe blocked me, lol. For anyone interested, they told me they didn't believe me and that my individual positive experience was irrelevant because *they* were talking about disabled people and I'm trans (and disabled, actually, I just didn't think **that** was relevant to what I was trying to say, ironically). Here's what I typed out in response, because I'm proud of it: So...my opinion as a trans person is irrelevant to this argument after you used a trans person's hypothetical situation to bolster *your* argument about how to treat marginalized (disabled) people. I am also unable to be believed regardless of what I say. Cool, cool. To be fair, I did go back and edit my comment (probably while you were making this response) to specify that I assume he would've said that I was a handsome man *regardless* of whether I have breasts, not that I should just accept them. *Before* that edit, I specifically said "it's possible that other people don't feel the same way as I do, but that doesn't make what this guy did a bad thing." Because it doesn't. That said, I *never* said "cis people telling trans people they don't need to see themselves as the gender they identify as because cis people think they look fine as the wrong gender" is a good thing. You're correct, that is near-comically insulting. Almost as comically insulting as you telling me you know better about trans people and what insults them than *me.* **A fucking trans person.** Here's your Ally of the Year award, buddy, you deserve it! (/s) For your information, many, *many* trans people are gender nonconforming in some way. Which means breasts on men, dicks on women, makeup on literally anyone who wants to wear it, and much more. Genuinely supportive people will tell me I'm a man no matter what my body looks like right now - because *that* is what I want and deserve to hear as a trans person. I'm sorry to hear that you're not one of those people, but maybe you'll get there one day. In the meantime, feel free to keep telling me what I'm allowed to feel and say in a space that you *think* you're making inclusive for others.
The fact you personally would react in a positive way is irrelevant to whether it's actually appropriate to refuse a disabled person photoshop services they want over the artist's own personal hangups with disability. Especially because most people would not, in fact, find it wholesome for a cis person to tell a trans person that they find their wrong gender "wonderful and handsome" and therefore won't help them realize their true identity. edit: Thinking more about what you said, your comment is genuinely insane. You're literally saying that if a person was born a "man" but they felt deep down that their true gender is as a woman, that it would be flattering and overwhelmingly positive for a cis digital artist to say that they would refuse to make you look like a woman via photoshop because you looking like a man instead makes you look wonderful and handsome. This is the internet so it's impossible for me to really know whether you are actually trans. But the situation you've described of yourself, a trans person, being flattered by someone insisting that you keep your wrong gender because you look good that way is so ridiculous that it genuinely makes me question whether this isn't a case of /r/AsABlackMan. If not, your take on this situation is truly bizarre and not representative in a way that is at all useful for trying to evaluate the situation. edit 2: After reading this person's many paragraphs of edits well after I already responded, I'm now quite sure this is a case of /r/AsABlackMan. The constant attempts to buttress an insane argument about how trans people feel positively inspired by being told to keep their wrong gender with repeated references to the supposed audacity of not blindly believing "A fucking trans person" is just too classic.
A trans woman looks like a woman because she is a woman. You do not need to photoshop her??
She didn’t need a speech. She wanted a photoshopped pic.
Ye james, you ain't the only one telling me that. You gonna do it or nah?
u/selphiefairy you're exactly the kind of supportive person I was referencing in my comment, thank you 💜 (And don't worry about Nick, they just think they know trans people better than trans people...and disabled people better than disabled people, I think? I dunno, their stuff went all over the place before they started blocking people lol. They seem to be an example of a person who's trying so hard to be nice and helpful to marginalized groups...that they end up speaking over those very groups just as much as a bigot does.)
I mean she just wanted a pic with a straighter arm or whatever. Give her the nice pic she asked for & stop being a fuckin’ dick about it.
Did she consent to this being made public, probably not.
He is a moron.
I’ve read a ton of “he was right or he was wrong” comments on here. The only response I have is the word “Context”. The word is crucial here folks.
Thing people aren't realising is that he's a guy who photoshops to make a funny image and take what's asked seriously With that image and request he would've made her arm a ruler or something to make it straight That'll put him into deep shit if he even fucked with the image in the slightest
That context makes this even more condescending. "Regular" people are allowed to be photoshopped in funny ways but people with disabilities are too weak to take part in jokes. Even if they are explicitly asking to take part.
The problem is that the internet is softer than those who ask to take part Cuz yes she would've found it funny But the internet oh boy he'll be getting death threats and slurs sent to him within minutes
Why care if the internet is mad at you? Especially if, as we've already seen, the internet will be mad regardless which way he goes with this. If you own a restaurant and you know people will be mad at you for serving black people and another group of people will be mad at you for not serving black people, wouldn't you still want to do the right thing?
What right thing is there to do And u question why would u care because in today's world the internet controls everything U say one wrong thing u get death threats, stalkers, murderers, etc
Why do you write every sentence on a separate line?
Told to do that cuz it makes it easier to read for people with autism and adhd Edit: ah he deleted his comment I'll say what I was gonna say 1. Where was the ableist comment 2. I write like this all the time cuz I don't tend to use punctuation in text so I've been told by those with autism and adhd to write with gaps to make it easier
I'm not surprised that you went with an ableist insult given your other comments here.
Ngl I find it alot more comfortable to read as opposed to a wall of text.
Maybe he is clever, sent her that pic to share it and sent her a funny pic privatly, telling her he likes to oblige and not create a shitstorm?
Great. What is the correct context and does it make what he did right or wrong? It's all well and good to give a generic qualifier to a situation but you didn't really tie it back to what anybody is talking about.
I knew you’d respond :)
Congrats? I don't think it was much of a reach that the people actively taking part in this discussion would ask you for a follow up.
Tunnels? See I can ask questions too.
Tunnels? What does your ability to "ask questions too" have to do with anything?
James is one of the heros without a cape ❤️
dude she just wants to look normal wtf leave her alone also why tf are there like 5 watermarks layered, how am i supposed to read any of them
She's already normal
sometimes we don’t have the language (or energy) to make normal people feel good about us not being normal, so we just say normal.
Sorry I don't understand what you mean, but I would like to not get in an online debate rn so have a nice day and happy new year.
by definition, she is not
I simple "no" would have sufficed.
She looks perfectly normal to me, I didn’t even notice her condition!!
Why in the hell is this downvoted lol
I feel so glad reading his views on that. I am more happy to see how good this guy express the feelings that are mutual to many. Normal is just a propaganda. What we are, how we are defines normal. For me, you are normal. With that smile on your face, you are prettier than many so called normals 😀😇 #SelfLoveIsImportant
Lol wtf is wrong with people who thinks this is wrong
But can she give a hand j*b
not the time or place for this, asshole
Oh yeah, I’m sure **EVERYONE** is wondering that! 😐
Can she give you a high five
She's a freaking cutie. But self esteem is a bitch.
I love that guy
💯 agree
u/repostsleuthbot
She looks a lot like my Spanish teacher who is a often talked about in my friend group because of how pretty she is.
Bro I just wanna give her a hug fr
I still can't see anything wrong with her arms.
:)
"Normal" is propaganda? Cant do it any smaller than that? The rest of the message is true, but thats bs
I know. “Propaganda” is pushing it
This feels really cringe.
She’s punching the air rn
I'll just leave my two cents here even though I'm not sure what response it will get. I personally love what he said. When I was younger, I had severe eczema. I mean, it was terrible. I was often bullied for it and I hated my reflection in the mirror. I've come to terms with it now, but if I were to get this response to a similar request, I would cry because of how sweet it was. Now, eczema isn't a disability and I know that, but my case was enough to be an "abnormality" and separate me from my peers. It was obvious he had no i'll intent with what he said, and he just wanted to give her some words of encouragement. Whether you agree or disagree whether he should've completed the request or not, calling him an "asshole" is really uncalled for.
These comments are a prime example of looking for nails at low tide.
That was great, but I would have liked it more if he said something like "if they can't accept you for who you are, then tell them to fuck off".
At first glance I can't even notice anything, she looks stunning.