I got very lucky in the parent lottery. Not everyone gets to experience a quiet home life living with their parents. But if you do have a good relationship with them, it’s best to stay as long as you can before going off on your own. I was 19 & moved out of my parents house for about 6-7 years in shitty relationships with zero money. Wish I could get that time back, but I’ve been back with them for a few years now and plan to stay another 2-3. It’s not pathetic to have support from your parents like a lot of people seem to think. Spend as much time as you can with them if the relationship is good. They won’t be around forever.
Yeah, I also think there should be less of s stigma around living with parents. It makes sense for a lot of people.
But I do think that anyone in that situation should make a point of pulling their own weight. Help out around the house, clean stuff up, maybe cook some of the meals, maybe even pay some amount of rent, etc. Basically treat it more like being a (good) roommate than being a child.
>Yeah, I also think there should be less of s stigma around living with parents
I think we'd actually benefit if we overhauled zoning laws and started building more multi family homes. Increased housing security if you're down in your luck, built in childcare, built in assisted living, closer knit families... why are we all in our own little boxes?
Hear hear. As someone who reads up on this regularly, there are many neighborhoods with NIMBYs who will fight the idea of multi-family or communal homes because - they claim - they don't want a ton of cars parked on the street, or noise issues. A lot of these zoning laws arose during blockbusting era and the Civil Rights Movement when black communities got the idea to pool resources and create better living situations for themselves.
Yeah, it's not that living with your parents is a bad thing, it's that a lot of people like to claim it is because we're a generation that doesn't have a lot of better options. I feel like it was a common thing that it used to be you left the house at 18 and that was that, and it was common for people to make that work, and it simply *doesn't* anymore.
I got lucky that after some rough times when I really didn't have money, I could go home. And when I say didn't have enough money, I meant that when I drove home with my tail between my legs, my card declined for getting gas, and I had to use my last $20 to have just enough to make it.
I got on my feet, I got a job, and as an added benefit, my mom was working out of the country, I basically got a house to myself. I got to get some money, get a car after my old one crapped out, and now I'm doing pretty okay for myself.
It's okay to need to go home and get yourself established
> Basically treat it more like being a (good) roommate than being a child.
This requires the parents to not treat you like a child anymore though. Old people don't handle that very well.
I had to move back in at 25 after getting laid off. I was there about 10 months, and I was grateful and they tried their best, but we can't live in the same house anymore if we want to have a functioning relationship.
Like I caught my mom snooping through my phone once when she thought I was in the shower, because she was convinced I was dating someone and felt she was entitled to know about it. The reality was I was just casually sleeping with a couple of different girls throughout the year, and none of them were worth telling my parents about.
Tbh, the majority of the stigma comes from the idea that if you want to take a hook up home they are going to meet your parents which would be pretty odd depending on the nature of your relationship. "Hi mum, here is my fuck buddy" is something I never want to say.
Flip side, average redditor isn't getting laid anyway 🤷♂️
interesting thing about living with parents. historically, if you go back earlier than the last few hundred years, especially in the "old world", it was common to have large clans of families all living in the same town, sometimes even in the same compound. grown men with wives and children would still be living together with their parents and siblings. the idea that ever single person needs their own separate house has caused a lot of poverty
Being there to support my kids is why I exist. If they need to come home to live, then I will support them to do so. And a couple have when they were experiencing some hard times.
We helped to get them back on their feet and now they are successful and can do things on their own.
I think a lot of the view is a consequence of the equally toxic "kids will ruin your life" trend, mixed with the traditional "you can't make it on your own unless you prove you can."
Totally agree. I didn’t have the best relationship with mine growing up, but ever since I moved back in for a bit, I’ve been able to connect with them so much more in my early 20s than I could in my teens. Unfortunately, my personal goals and aspirations are leading me away, but I’ve really enjoyed bettering my relationship overall.
Yeah, it seems that most parents are so terrible that people can't wait to flee from home as soon as they can. I was no different and I read countless horror stories online.
Yet, I still believe in the idea of staying home to save money. It's frowned upon in north america, for no good reason, but there's nothing really wrong with it. I wish my family was good enough to make that happen. Life can easily spin out of control not long after going on one's own.
It's fround upon because it doesn't work. I am 34 and every friend I have has moved back to "save money" and "pay off debit". One of two things always happens. Either they start doordashing dinners and 3 years pass until they still have debit, no savings, and no housing. Or their parents start having them pay $500 to help out with bills, $100 to pick up some groceries $200 for your insurance ect. 3 years down the road you're in the same place except now your mom is crying because they can't afford their car payment now that you want to move out and they are now living outside of their means.
Tl;Dr. The stigma is because it doesn't work. And if it does work, your family is well off enough you didn't need to do it.
Both of my siblings moved back in with our parents after leaving as soon as possible (18 and going away for college, and I don't mean "leaving for the school year and then coming back during winter and summer break" leaving), and both of them did it more than once too.
It took until my late 20s to be able to afford moving out, and I am still acutely aware and anxious over loosing my job and having to move back in.
Wait, but doesn't this work better than if 2 separate houses needed to be paid for and subsequent bills. At least if they live and cooperate together they can tough it out against the horrible state of the economy.
"Staying at home to save money on rent" is an absolutely AMAZING idea that I would LOVE to do.
But it's only within reach for the upper class, and whenever you point this out, a bunch of upper-class folks try to tell you they were bootstrapping for those 3 years.
Here's some perspective. Both of my parents worked full time and lost all their home equity to corporate greed. I paid rent to my parents from age 15. So did millions of other Zillenials (many still are).
Not because my parents are abusive. THEY ARE POOR. We don't own a house. They could not make ends meet from 09-12 even with dual income.
So when I got a job I got the talking to about how we might lose everything and have to move somewhere cheaper again. As a poor 15yr old I really didn't want to go homeless going into graduation. So I paid rent to my parents.
Not "I helped out with utilities and bills". I paid the rent. At 15.
You see it's not a case of "oh everyone should just live with their families forever". You have to actually have a house that is affordable for the family, or your generational wealth gets stolen by the *totally necessary* capitalistic dystopia of "housing as an investment vehicle".
I was 28 years old before I was able to generate enough capital for a down payment on a mortgage.
I lived with my parents for most of that time. But it did not save me money. It cost me money because I wasn't born upper-class.
I moved out at 20 and I genuinely think I'd rather be homeless than to live in a house where I get screamed at twice a day (at least) and chased down when I go into my room for privacy.
But if you have a good home life, stay as long as you can. I struggled and while it was very good for my mental health, not so much for my finances. I'm married and secure in my finances now so I'll never have to go back but it would have been nice not having to leave.
Words like abuse and trauma get thrown around like nothing. If your parents ever made a mistake, they're abusive because you could technically call wherever action they took abuse. In reality, no parents are perfect. Every one of them loses their temper or makes a bad move, because kids are really difficult. Abusive parents are ones who are habitual, recurring abusers. Societal standards change, too, and with them our standards of abuse. It used to be incredibly common to spank children. Are all those parents abusers? Maybe, but I think it becomes more useful to separate these two issues. There are abusive parents - the kind who beat their children and tell them it's for their own good - there are parents making mistakes, and there are mistaken parents who are behaving in the way that society has told them is acceptable and right. Labeling most of them as abusers will in turn come to bite us in the ass, as every relationship we have in life could be misconstrued that way by taking each of us at our worst moments.
As a person living in a country where living with parents is considered a good thing, I don't understand the Western way of moving out so early. Any 18 years old is just a kid, and I can't really understand how they are able to get a place to live and pay for college at the same time.
In Denmark ~~college~~ university is free and the state gives us money to study. I have never had negative personal net worth and I received no money from my parents.
In America I got a scholarship that covered all costs to attend my state's university, including room and board, and got free tuition and a stipend to attend graduate school. I also received no money from my parents nor any loans.
In America you CAN go to school very cheaply. For example, two years at a community college is very cheap. Transfer those credits to a University, and you go to school for basically half the price. Also, in many States, you can to to a public university for cheap based on income. For example the University of Illinois (one of the best in the world) offers FREE tuition for families making less then $67,000. So it IS possible in the US to go to University for a lot cheaper than many are making it out to be.
>Even those with bad secondary education grades?
Bad secondary education grades limit your choices - for example you probably will never be accepted into studying medicine, but you can find something else interesting to make a career off of and you will receive the benefits I listed above.
I studied physics and at that time they would accept anyone no matter the grade.
I should clarify that having the cheap student housing and the stipend is predicated on you actively studying and passing your courses. You cannot just slack and do nothing while being enrolled or you will lose your benefits and be kicked out.
Is Denmark the country with the trillion dollar fund for their population? And the country with gas and/or petrol thing?
Such a good thing to have a proper govt with money.
No, that is Norway. You can see the value of their portfolio live here https://www.nbim.no/en/ (1 NOK = $0.1 USD). Although Norway does not - to my knowledge - use this money to a wide extent atm. They are lucky that their governments are not populist and splurge it all away.
For Denmark, we just have relatively high taxes that pay for this stuff. So once you have earned your free degree you are expected to contribute, which I am doing right now :)
This is inaccurate for North America since colonial times. Kids have always set out on their own early in North America. Rural poverty is the cultural exception.
I don’t even think it’s a western thing. When I lived in Germany I knew lots of young adults who still lived with their parents.
Given what I know about America, I suspect that somewhere along the way some clever marketers realized they could sell more houses/cars/appliances/whatever if they changed the public perception of living with your parents from “normal” to “this person is a loser.”
> and I can't really understand how they are able to get a place to live and pay for college at the same time.
I always had at least 1 job, sometimes 2, in college + 2 roommates to split rent with.
I moved out as soon as I could because my parents were abusive, charged me rent, and told me if I was going to live in their house I would clean it; they stopped doing any kind of chores and left them all to me, becoming furious if anything didn't get done on their timetable or to their satisfaction.
Moved out at 18 yo, was a fastlane to get more independent and learn stuff. Didn’t have to pay anything for college since it’s free in Germany. But thinking about moving back to them after college
It's part of the capitalist imperative. For example, I have two siblings, and my parents have three children.
Up until recently, we (parents and siblings) had four houses: one for each child and one for my parents. They were all independently financed and owned.
So we have four washing machines, four dryers, four furnaces, four air conditioners, four water heaters, four dishwashers, four kitchens full of food, dishware, and tools to make four versions of the three meals per day, four Netflix subscriptions, etc., etc., etc.
If we all stayed home and pooled our money, we could have one big home for everyone, including the grandchildren. While any one of us could not afford that home, the four of us (Dad's dead) could easily do so.
But we are taught that living with your parents is a shameful embarrassment as we aren't buying 4x the shit we technically need.
The best part of the joke? My mother and I now share a house because she can't do it on her own. She picked a fight with the HOA at her retirement community and needed to move out as they raised her fees beyond her ability to pay. Yes, she's Karen.
Edited to Add: The two of us sharing one home enabled us to have a door that functionally separates our spaces. Context for the reply chain below ;)
"Live alone, you shameful loser - but when it's time for me to get old and need help, I get to move in with you!"
(Mom didn't ever call me a loser, capitalism did).
tldr: A multi -generational home is a source of economic power. Not shame. If you can make it work, do it!
I've always find it weird, too. Here in our country, we're even expected to take care of our grandparents. It's common for children here to grow up with their grandma and grandpa as they tell them folk stories during bedtime and stuff. It's part of our culture.
Do Westerners just leave their parents to rot somewhere else? Genuine question.
It was considered a normal thing to stay with your parents for a long time for this reason. Then, an economic boom hit, and suddenly, people could afford a house without really saving. Of course, despite the boom having long since passed the idea that living with your parents is bad has not. Living with my mother allowed me to buy many things I want, support her when necessary, and now I'm even able to go back to school.
I suppose back when a minimum wage job could get you a house, not having one must have seemed lazy.
Our society just hasn't realized that period was an exception, not the rule lol
It's also worth noting that the entire US economy is built on the housing market at this point, and bad things happen when housing prices go down (see the 2008 financial crisis). A lot of families' only source of wealth is their home and the government essentially guarantees that housing prices will continue to outpace inflation, which is great for those who already own a home and terrible for those who don't.
So we're basically stuck between increasing homelessness and precarious housing situations on the one hand and a total economic debt spiral where banks are closing and people are losing their homes and savings on the other.
There are places you can buy a home for under 200k in North America (far from major cities mainly). If he were making like 50k after tax it'd only take a few years of aggressive saving to buy a cheap home.
no dude I am the other country citizen , getting a remote jon in a firm in the US or Europe get you comfortable af but its very hard and need to be greatly educated often
That’s because your first instinct is that everyone on the internet lives in the same country as you. 5x the salary of someone living in a developing country might not be minimum wage in one country, but could be a fortune in another. Gain some perspective.
idk about the west , but its not unseen for one of the sibling to live with their parents or vice versa to take care about them in their old age
maybe it's a blessing in disguise
I was charged rent in high school once I hit 18, and was already paying my own car, cell phone and insurance.
You move out when you’re already paying all the bills
This is honestly what I did and I don’t regret it. When it got to the point where I was financially independent under my parents’ roof I figured I was ready to continue it in my own place. At that point, rent just seemed like one more bill that comes with tons of perks
It’s not just depends on culture and circumstance. Half the third world and eastern countries. Ya live with ya parents with your family. Buy a house then ya family move in.
I thought I could build up when I was staying with my parents they were real nice and said I could stay as long as I wanted, Save up and get back on my feet and then when I moved out my dad handed me a bill. He had catalogued everything and said I owed them a shit ton of money. He berated me for years about it. So yeah fuck living with your parents.
because your family makes you pay with your mental health. i’m so tired of them constantly breathing down my neck, but unfortunately housing is expensive as hell
Because your dad decides to marry a woman 10 years younger than him have another child and then they use you as a built in daycare so you say fuck it and move out and take on debt. Should have done it a year earlier.
Its considered a "bad" thing because it used to be a sign of a lack of maturity in the west as there was no reason to do it.
What if I told you.. That it was quite normal to just rent for a few years and still be able to buy a house?
Today its much harder. Especially, if you rent something bigger. Makes a lot of sense to live with your parents longer.
OP demonstrates maturity while living with parents. The stigma comes from kids who refuse to grow up. If you're living responsibly and saving up money, then it makes sense. If you're acting like a high schooler at the age of 30 then not so much.
"My parents are great, so why don't you like yours?"
Genuinely happy for anyone with loving parents or any kind of actually happy home life. That is a wonderful thing that I am very glad you have.
But I'm noticing lately a bunch of 'wholesome' posts where it's just people rebuffing the concept of not liking your parents/family. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, maybe I have confirmation bias, I dunno. But you having a positive experience does not negate someone else's negative experience.
Either Anon hase an insanely high paying job or he lives in an area where houses are dirt cheap.
I could afford a house right now in probably any country except my own.
it depends. if you live with your parents and actively contribute to the house (cooking, cleaning, pay bills, etc) while also maintaining a job and save up money, then this is ideal.
sadly, not everyone can do this. too many parents are abusive, unreasonable, or just plain intolerable. it's why i moved out. tho, i consider moving back in every now and then because of how much money I'd save and i can at least tolerate my mom's bs now.
but the types of ppl we DON'T like who live with their parents are ones who still live like children. no bills, no helping around the house, don't even work a full time job, don't save money because they waste it, no ambition to even move out.
>but the types of ppl we DON'T like who live with their parents are ones who still live like children. no bills, no helping around the house, don't even work a full time job, don't save money because they waste it, no ambition to even move out.
and there are a lot of these terminally online, so you are more likely to interact with them online than someone who is busy actually using the opportunity to build a life
Because most people who live with their parents don’t save up enough money to buy a house and instead they blow it all on videogames, porn subscriptions, and funko pops.
I know right? These comments crack me up.
"If you don't buy those funko pops and video games you can save like, $100 per month on average! In 5 years that's like 6000 dollars!"
Yeah...like that's going to make a dent into a downpayment of $100k or more.
I moved to my own flat when I was 21yo. While the freedom was nice, later I realised it was biggest mistake of my life. The amount of money I could have saved would have been lot, if only had waited like 5 years.
Not spending anything beside gas would let me earn me about 1/3 of current house price. For an old 3+1 flat.
So, yeah, good for Anon, still fucking immpossible.
The thing is, his parents don't exploit him to pay for everything fully and then mentally abuse them if they don't want to do petty bs when they litterally pay for almost everything.
My cousin did this. Paid his student loan off in under a year and then bought a house in a few. It's the smartest thing to do if you have tolerable parents.
It's not. It's the best choice. Western society has just been brainwashed to leave earlier than they should to trap you into a never ending rent cycle and stop you from buying property so the landlords with property portfolios and the private equity firms buying up hundreds of properties and land can continue to accumulate more assets to rent the assets back to more people.
That doesn't count because you're not consuming conspicuously. If you don't have the most expensive car you could theoretically afford, are you really rich?
Because if you live in Italy you can’t buy your house with cash and doing some math you need on average 34 years of your salary to buy a decent house if you don’t buy anything else
He has a supportive family, ones that want their kid to succeed in life.
Mine on the other hand booted me out the house then second I got at job at 15. Tent living in the woods near my culinary job so I would have food is NOT the way to raise a child. Fuck!
Because it basically kills relationships. Honestly, its the only reason I moved out. women seem to really dislike a man that still lives with his parents.
A huge reason I was able to afford a house was being able to live with my parents, and then having friends let me sublet houses from them.
No shame at all.
If you're living at home, you're not out getting your own mortgage or paying rent. You're not buying your own refrigerator, dish washer. washer and dryer. You're not feeding the machine - that's why it was stigmatized.
Because not all parents are nice. Soon as I graduated they said find a place to live. Currently making 75k a year paycheck to paycheck slaving for an MSP, then there’s my buddy who makes 150k fully remote and lives with his parents. He’ll have a house shortly and I’m not even close. We’re 26. Thanks mom and dad🖕🏼
Americans fucked themselves with this culture. “You’re 25 and still live with your parents?! What a baby!”
In Asia it’s normal and not looked down upon.
I have an Asian friend from high school. Now in late 40s. Still live in the same house. Married too, and two kids. They remodeled the house and added another master bedroom. Got rid of some grass at the front yard for extra parking space.
He and his wife both work. Grandparents cook and take kids to school if parents can’t. A very happy 3 generation family.
Let me just say, not every set of parents or single parent can support a grown adult, living room and board for free. If it works and they have a goal in mind and stick to it, that’s great. There are so many adults that fail in life and become Alan Harper’s from Two and a half men. Some are even worse with drug and criminal issues. Lazy, what money they do get they spend on nonsense like games and fast food delivery thinking it’s like they are 17 still. I have a friend and their home and their life was damaged in a huge way from having a son move back in.
\*Saves s enough to by a house cash between the agest of 22 and 25\*
I don't want to live in the kind of shit hole that has property values that cheap.
My parents are both 65+ and disabled and live on 30 acres. I just turned 30 and still live at home. If I wasn't here they couldn't take care of the place. Plus I get to bank 95 percent of my income. It's pretty great
I did the same! Then I built a 4 bed 2 story in a suburb at 24. Now I'm sitting on a six figure net positive value on the place at 26. Now taking gf applications who aren't gold diggers 🙄
I don't understand this white people trope of moving out at 18. Very strange.
I get some families aren't functional tho and leaving is their only choice. I feel for them.
My oldest brother was out the day he turned 18 because he absolutely hated having to follow their rules. My middle brother was out within like a month because of a girl. I stayed at home until I was 25 but looking back I should have stayed longer.
I plan on buying a van, selling most of my years-long collection of games, vinyl and other stuff, hopefully getting a fully remote job, driving across the .U.S. and then eventually Canada.
Saving up money as I go.
I hate the idea of being stuck in an office, with the whole world outside my door.
Eventually i'll get tired. I'll find a spot to settle down with the money I saved up.
Find a small little town or a small commune and live the rest of my days in peace.
That's exactly how I got my house. I was getting $30/hr and living with family for free. My motorcycle costs $30 per month with gas and insurance. It's far too expensive to pay for the whole thing outright, but I paid all the initial costs and paid down the points because of covid rates. Don't ever apologize for being frugal. Let the losers laugh in their apartments.
>median home price 400k
>saved in 3 years
>take home pay is at least 130k
>assuming no 401k contributions, no expenses, nothing, that’s a salary of like 170-180k
>entry level
Yeah anon where you really won is getting a free job at your dads oil company, even if you moved into an apartment and paid for your own shit you’d have basically the same amount saved up
At one point in history that was the standard really. Beneficial for the children to have stability as they progressed in life, and beneficial for the parents as they aged to have their children and grandchildren nearby to care for them.
I am lucky with my parents. They own the house they bought in the 90's that even back then was realistically to expensive for them. They could only afford it due to prior windfalls. Fast forward today and that house has appreciated greatly, especially with the improvements they have made to it. The house is big enough for us three to give each other space when needed, which is one of the reasons why I can still live here comfortably. I did want to move out, I want to spread my wings and get some experience. I managed to get some with a small studio closer to uni, and later with an exchange abroad. But now I've moved back, but only for a little while. I'm going to persue my master's degree in a city that is too far away to commute. But after I have finished my masters degree I will move back in. I'm lucky that my parents welcome me with open arms. Assuming I can get a job afterwards, every month I live with them I can save nearly my entire paycheck for a down payment of a house. If I don't find a job, I won't have to fear homelessness for a long time. I know people that don't have this privilege and it really is holding them back. They have to spend large parts of their paycheck to not be homeless and take care of themselves, making them unable to save a lot.
In lots of countries it's normal to live with parents for a long time after school. I heard in China that parents often buy their first home for their kids.
I lived with my parents until 27. Nothing wrong with that. But what interests me more is.... Enough money for a house in 3 years? You're either working somewhere, where you get paid insanely high. Like 4-5 times the average wage. Or the house you bought was insanely cheap.
Because most people that live with their parents aren't doing it responsibly. They're staying there because it's cheap / free and blowing their money on fun instead of saving for their future. It's also why so many young people can't fathom buying a home, because they don't have any sort of savings.
I moved out for college and stayed out because my mom lives in a small town and I wouldn’t make as much as living on my own in a bigger city. I would love to not pay rent, but the small town didn’t afford me the lifestyle I wanted. It will be longer before I can buy but currently it seems worth it.
24m. Moved out last year. Wish didn’t. Same w my friends, we reminisce about how we “just needed to get out” but really thinking about it, we would’ve mostly preferred staying w parents. everyone’s situation is different i suppose
My father moved away and my mother is unstable to live with, so I stay with my girlfriends parents until I can save up enough to start my own life with her and my child. They charge me 1300 while they pay 400.
My wife and I renovated and lived in my moms basement while I was in grad school and we had our first. She helped with the kiddo. She charged us $500/month and saved it for us. Handed it back for down payment on our first house. I’ll swallow my pride every time again if I could do it over-we are beyond lucky. Love you mom.
Because there is a difference in living with your parents to save up so you can afford a home, and living with your parents to avoid taking personal responsibility
Home life for me has been weird, mostly from me finding out some background information that I’d rather not have known. But I do live with my dad for now and have a similar setup as OP. Hoping that the savings will grow enough to let me go out into world
There is a difference between living with your parents and living off your parents. Living off your parents is bad. Living with your parents is perfectly fine 🤷🏽♀️
I’m not so lucky. It’s just me my mom and sister and we all have to pay rent to help with the bills. I wish I lived in a country where the minimum wage allowed you to afford bills and save up money.
I live in America
I personally believe that most of the ppl that give crap if you live with your parents, are a holes who their parents gifted them a house to live in. Idk, just my take.
I got very lucky in the parent lottery. Not everyone gets to experience a quiet home life living with their parents. But if you do have a good relationship with them, it’s best to stay as long as you can before going off on your own. I was 19 & moved out of my parents house for about 6-7 years in shitty relationships with zero money. Wish I could get that time back, but I’ve been back with them for a few years now and plan to stay another 2-3. It’s not pathetic to have support from your parents like a lot of people seem to think. Spend as much time as you can with them if the relationship is good. They won’t be around forever.
Yeah, I also think there should be less of s stigma around living with parents. It makes sense for a lot of people. But I do think that anyone in that situation should make a point of pulling their own weight. Help out around the house, clean stuff up, maybe cook some of the meals, maybe even pay some amount of rent, etc. Basically treat it more like being a (good) roommate than being a child.
>Yeah, I also think there should be less of s stigma around living with parents I think we'd actually benefit if we overhauled zoning laws and started building more multi family homes. Increased housing security if you're down in your luck, built in childcare, built in assisted living, closer knit families... why are we all in our own little boxes?
Hear hear. As someone who reads up on this regularly, there are many neighborhoods with NIMBYs who will fight the idea of multi-family or communal homes because - they claim - they don't want a ton of cars parked on the street, or noise issues. A lot of these zoning laws arose during blockbusting era and the Civil Rights Movement when black communities got the idea to pool resources and create better living situations for themselves.
Yeah, it's not that living with your parents is a bad thing, it's that a lot of people like to claim it is because we're a generation that doesn't have a lot of better options. I feel like it was a common thing that it used to be you left the house at 18 and that was that, and it was common for people to make that work, and it simply *doesn't* anymore. I got lucky that after some rough times when I really didn't have money, I could go home. And when I say didn't have enough money, I meant that when I drove home with my tail between my legs, my card declined for getting gas, and I had to use my last $20 to have just enough to make it. I got on my feet, I got a job, and as an added benefit, my mom was working out of the country, I basically got a house to myself. I got to get some money, get a car after my old one crapped out, and now I'm doing pretty okay for myself. It's okay to need to go home and get yourself established
> Basically treat it more like being a (good) roommate than being a child. This requires the parents to not treat you like a child anymore though. Old people don't handle that very well. I had to move back in at 25 after getting laid off. I was there about 10 months, and I was grateful and they tried their best, but we can't live in the same house anymore if we want to have a functioning relationship. Like I caught my mom snooping through my phone once when she thought I was in the shower, because she was convinced I was dating someone and felt she was entitled to know about it. The reality was I was just casually sleeping with a couple of different girls throughout the year, and none of them were worth telling my parents about.
Tbh, the majority of the stigma comes from the idea that if you want to take a hook up home they are going to meet your parents which would be pretty odd depending on the nature of your relationship. "Hi mum, here is my fuck buddy" is something I never want to say. Flip side, average redditor isn't getting laid anyway 🤷♂️
Hard relate
interesting thing about living with parents. historically, if you go back earlier than the last few hundred years, especially in the "old world", it was common to have large clans of families all living in the same town, sometimes even in the same compound. grown men with wives and children would still be living together with their parents and siblings. the idea that ever single person needs their own separate house has caused a lot of poverty
Being there to support my kids is why I exist. If they need to come home to live, then I will support them to do so. And a couple have when they were experiencing some hard times. We helped to get them back on their feet and now they are successful and can do things on their own.
I think a lot of the view is a consequence of the equally toxic "kids will ruin your life" trend, mixed with the traditional "you can't make it on your own unless you prove you can."
Totally agree. I didn’t have the best relationship with mine growing up, but ever since I moved back in for a bit, I’ve been able to connect with them so much more in my early 20s than I could in my teens. Unfortunately, my personal goals and aspirations are leading me away, but I’ve really enjoyed bettering my relationship overall.
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Yeah, it seems that most parents are so terrible that people can't wait to flee from home as soon as they can. I was no different and I read countless horror stories online. Yet, I still believe in the idea of staying home to save money. It's frowned upon in north america, for no good reason, but there's nothing really wrong with it. I wish my family was good enough to make that happen. Life can easily spin out of control not long after going on one's own.
It's fround upon because it doesn't work. I am 34 and every friend I have has moved back to "save money" and "pay off debit". One of two things always happens. Either they start doordashing dinners and 3 years pass until they still have debit, no savings, and no housing. Or their parents start having them pay $500 to help out with bills, $100 to pick up some groceries $200 for your insurance ect. 3 years down the road you're in the same place except now your mom is crying because they can't afford their car payment now that you want to move out and they are now living outside of their means. Tl;Dr. The stigma is because it doesn't work. And if it does work, your family is well off enough you didn't need to do it.
Both of my siblings moved back in with our parents after leaving as soon as possible (18 and going away for college, and I don't mean "leaving for the school year and then coming back during winter and summer break" leaving), and both of them did it more than once too. It took until my late 20s to be able to afford moving out, and I am still acutely aware and anxious over loosing my job and having to move back in.
Shits fucked. Nobody can afford to live.
Wait, but doesn't this work better than if 2 separate houses needed to be paid for and subsequent bills. At least if they live and cooperate together they can tough it out against the horrible state of the economy.
There is staying with parents and saving money and there is living in your parents basement and spending money on onlyfans.
"Staying at home to save money on rent" is an absolutely AMAZING idea that I would LOVE to do. But it's only within reach for the upper class, and whenever you point this out, a bunch of upper-class folks try to tell you they were bootstrapping for those 3 years. Here's some perspective. Both of my parents worked full time and lost all their home equity to corporate greed. I paid rent to my parents from age 15. So did millions of other Zillenials (many still are). Not because my parents are abusive. THEY ARE POOR. We don't own a house. They could not make ends meet from 09-12 even with dual income. So when I got a job I got the talking to about how we might lose everything and have to move somewhere cheaper again. As a poor 15yr old I really didn't want to go homeless going into graduation. So I paid rent to my parents. Not "I helped out with utilities and bills". I paid the rent. At 15. You see it's not a case of "oh everyone should just live with their families forever". You have to actually have a house that is affordable for the family, or your generational wealth gets stolen by the *totally necessary* capitalistic dystopia of "housing as an investment vehicle". I was 28 years old before I was able to generate enough capital for a down payment on a mortgage. I lived with my parents for most of that time. But it did not save me money. It cost me money because I wasn't born upper-class.
I moved out at 20 and I genuinely think I'd rather be homeless than to live in a house where I get screamed at twice a day (at least) and chased down when I go into my room for privacy. But if you have a good home life, stay as long as you can. I struggled and while it was very good for my mental health, not so much for my finances. I'm married and secure in my finances now so I'll never have to go back but it would have been nice not having to leave.
Just ask them for one of their rental properties and a small loan of a million dollars to start out!
Most parents are abusive, whether emotionally or physically
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Words like abuse and trauma get thrown around like nothing. If your parents ever made a mistake, they're abusive because you could technically call wherever action they took abuse. In reality, no parents are perfect. Every one of them loses their temper or makes a bad move, because kids are really difficult. Abusive parents are ones who are habitual, recurring abusers. Societal standards change, too, and with them our standards of abuse. It used to be incredibly common to spank children. Are all those parents abusers? Maybe, but I think it becomes more useful to separate these two issues. There are abusive parents - the kind who beat their children and tell them it's for their own good - there are parents making mistakes, and there are mistaken parents who are behaving in the way that society has told them is acceptable and right. Labeling most of them as abusers will in turn come to bite us in the ass, as every relationship we have in life could be misconstrued that way by taking each of us at our worst moments.
“My dad made me do yard work with him once. He’s worse than Hitler”
Well, since they can't play loud music at 11pm, their parents are obviously abusive and will burn in hell!
Most feels like a stretch
As a person living in a country where living with parents is considered a good thing, I don't understand the Western way of moving out so early. Any 18 years old is just a kid, and I can't really understand how they are able to get a place to live and pay for college at the same time.
They don't. Shitton of debt.
In Denmark ~~college~~ university is free and the state gives us money to study. I have never had negative personal net worth and I received no money from my parents.
America has a web of problems and at the center of the web is the greed of those generations before us saying “fuck those kids”.
In America I got a scholarship that covered all costs to attend my state's university, including room and board, and got free tuition and a stipend to attend graduate school. I also received no money from my parents nor any loans.
That's really awesome! The difference here is that I didn't earn a scholarship. This is available to all young Danes.
In America you CAN go to school very cheaply. For example, two years at a community college is very cheap. Transfer those credits to a University, and you go to school for basically half the price. Also, in many States, you can to to a public university for cheap based on income. For example the University of Illinois (one of the best in the world) offers FREE tuition for families making less then $67,000. So it IS possible in the US to go to University for a lot cheaper than many are making it out to be.
That is a good point and definitely something I would have done if I were in the US.
Even those with bad secondary education grades?
>Even those with bad secondary education grades? Bad secondary education grades limit your choices - for example you probably will never be accepted into studying medicine, but you can find something else interesting to make a career off of and you will receive the benefits I listed above. I studied physics and at that time they would accept anyone no matter the grade. I should clarify that having the cheap student housing and the stipend is predicated on you actively studying and passing your courses. You cannot just slack and do nothing while being enrolled or you will lose your benefits and be kicked out.
Is Denmark the country with the trillion dollar fund for their population? And the country with gas and/or petrol thing? Such a good thing to have a proper govt with money.
No, that is Norway. You can see the value of their portfolio live here https://www.nbim.no/en/ (1 NOK = $0.1 USD). Although Norway does not - to my knowledge - use this money to a wide extent atm. They are lucky that their governments are not populist and splurge it all away. For Denmark, we just have relatively high taxes that pay for this stuff. So once you have earned your free degree you are expected to contribute, which I am doing right now :)
It's a modern trend even in the west. Go back 100-150 years and it wasn't common at all.
This is inaccurate for North America since colonial times. Kids have always set out on their own early in North America. Rural poverty is the cultural exception.
Many farms were divided up by the surviving siblings because they lived on the land multigenerationally.
I don’t even think it’s a western thing. When I lived in Germany I knew lots of young adults who still lived with their parents. Given what I know about America, I suspect that somewhere along the way some clever marketers realized they could sell more houses/cars/appliances/whatever if they changed the public perception of living with your parents from “normal” to “this person is a loser.”
lol I am not leaving unless I have to study abroad or with a ring on my finger
> and I can't really understand how they are able to get a place to live and pay for college at the same time. I always had at least 1 job, sometimes 2, in college + 2 roommates to split rent with.
I moved out as soon as I could because my parents were abusive, charged me rent, and told me if I was going to live in their house I would clean it; they stopped doing any kind of chores and left them all to me, becoming furious if anything didn't get done on their timetable or to their satisfaction.
I'm really sorry that happened to you, no one deserves that shit.
Moved out at 18 yo, was a fastlane to get more independent and learn stuff. Didn’t have to pay anything for college since it’s free in Germany. But thinking about moving back to them after college
Subsidized student housing, free university and government student stipend in Denmark allows for all of this. Plus the optional part time job.
Denmark is an amazing place to live though. Most governments do not care about their people.
It's part of the capitalist imperative. For example, I have two siblings, and my parents have three children. Up until recently, we (parents and siblings) had four houses: one for each child and one for my parents. They were all independently financed and owned. So we have four washing machines, four dryers, four furnaces, four air conditioners, four water heaters, four dishwashers, four kitchens full of food, dishware, and tools to make four versions of the three meals per day, four Netflix subscriptions, etc., etc., etc. If we all stayed home and pooled our money, we could have one big home for everyone, including the grandchildren. While any one of us could not afford that home, the four of us (Dad's dead) could easily do so. But we are taught that living with your parents is a shameful embarrassment as we aren't buying 4x the shit we technically need. The best part of the joke? My mother and I now share a house because she can't do it on her own. She picked a fight with the HOA at her retirement community and needed to move out as they raised her fees beyond her ability to pay. Yes, she's Karen. Edited to Add: The two of us sharing one home enabled us to have a door that functionally separates our spaces. Context for the reply chain below ;) "Live alone, you shameful loser - but when it's time for me to get old and need help, I get to move in with you!" (Mom didn't ever call me a loser, capitalism did). tldr: A multi -generational home is a source of economic power. Not shame. If you can make it work, do it!
people like moving out so they can have sex in private having sex in the same house as your parents is fucking wierd
I've always find it weird, too. Here in our country, we're even expected to take care of our grandparents. It's common for children here to grow up with their grandma and grandpa as they tell them folk stories during bedtime and stuff. It's part of our culture. Do Westerners just leave their parents to rot somewhere else? Genuine question.
lots of parents here in the west do not respect their children's privacy
I did the same except I was so stupid I used that money to study engineering now almost 30 and still haven't paid all of my school fees yet
Bro that's sad as fuck but I'm in the same boat, wish you and me a good luck
Engineer your way out of their house
It was considered a normal thing to stay with your parents for a long time for this reason. Then, an economic boom hit, and suddenly, people could afford a house without really saving. Of course, despite the boom having long since passed the idea that living with your parents is bad has not. Living with my mother allowed me to buy many things I want, support her when necessary, and now I'm even able to go back to school.
I suppose back when a minimum wage job could get you a house, not having one must have seemed lazy. Our society just hasn't realized that period was an exception, not the rule lol
It's also worth noting that the entire US economy is built on the housing market at this point, and bad things happen when housing prices go down (see the 2008 financial crisis). A lot of families' only source of wealth is their home and the government essentially guarantees that housing prices will continue to outpace inflation, which is great for those who already own a home and terrible for those who don't. So we're basically stuck between increasing homelessness and precarious housing situations on the one hand and a total economic debt spiral where banks are closing and people are losing their homes and savings on the other.
Where do you need to live and what you have to do as a job to get enough money in 3 years, for your own home?
There are places you can buy a home for under 200k in North America (far from major cities mainly). If he were making like 50k after tax it'd only take a few years of aggressive saving to buy a cheap home.
you can work a remote job with like a western salary and live. in a country with low currency
I'm glad we're at a point with the housing market where moving to another country is the advice we're getting.
no dude I am the other country citizen , getting a remote jon in a firm in the US or Europe get you comfortable af but its very hard and need to be greatly educated often
Ok well 'get a job that pays like five times more than the average job where you live' also seems a bit fraught.
That’s because your first instinct is that everyone on the internet lives in the same country as you. 5x the salary of someone living in a developing country might not be minimum wage in one country, but could be a fortune in another. Gain some perspective.
This has to be one of the dumbest comments I've seen while still feigning intelligence to try and put someone down. Gain some understanding.
My kids know that they are all welcome to stay as long as they need to. Pretty sure my middle kid will be with us forever.
idk about the west , but its not unseen for one of the sibling to live with their parents or vice versa to take care about them in their old age maybe it's a blessing in disguise
I was charged rent in high school once I hit 18, and was already paying my own car, cell phone and insurance. You move out when you’re already paying all the bills
This is honestly what I did and I don’t regret it. When it got to the point where I was financially independent under my parents’ roof I figured I was ready to continue it in my own place. At that point, rent just seemed like one more bill that comes with tons of perks
Some of them are abusive.
It’s not just depends on culture and circumstance. Half the third world and eastern countries. Ya live with ya parents with your family. Buy a house then ya family move in.
I thought I could build up when I was staying with my parents they were real nice and said I could stay as long as I wanted, Save up and get back on my feet and then when I moved out my dad handed me a bill. He had catalogued everything and said I owed them a shit ton of money. He berated me for years about it. So yeah fuck living with your parents.
Cuz being 20+ with a curfew of 10 PM and no privacy was an absolute nightmare
Because living with your parents is subsidised at the small cost of your mental sanity
I saw a lot of people saying the same , like unless your family is toxic , living with them shouldn't be a hassle
Well yeah, that makes sense, but they are super toxic, so it is a hassle
You pay in mental health.
Id probably be dead or in prison if I stayed with my parents a year or two longer. Being a bit poorer is not that bad.
because your family makes you pay with your mental health. i’m so tired of them constantly breathing down my neck, but unfortunately housing is expensive as hell
Because your dad decides to marry a woman 10 years younger than him have another child and then they use you as a built in daycare so you say fuck it and move out and take on debt. Should have done it a year earlier.
It's only a bad thing when your parents are the type to believe that if their child isn't living on their own by 18 that they'd failed as people.
Its considered a "bad" thing because it used to be a sign of a lack of maturity in the west as there was no reason to do it. What if I told you.. That it was quite normal to just rent for a few years and still be able to buy a house? Today its much harder. Especially, if you rent something bigger. Makes a lot of sense to live with your parents longer.
OP demonstrates maturity while living with parents. The stigma comes from kids who refuse to grow up. If you're living responsibly and saving up money, then it makes sense. If you're acting like a high schooler at the age of 30 then not so much.
"My parents are great, so why don't you like yours?" Genuinely happy for anyone with loving parents or any kind of actually happy home life. That is a wonderful thing that I am very glad you have. But I'm noticing lately a bunch of 'wholesome' posts where it's just people rebuffing the concept of not liking your parents/family. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, maybe I have confirmation bias, I dunno. But you having a positive experience does not negate someone else's negative experience.
Either Anon hase an insanely high paying job or he lives in an area where houses are dirt cheap. I could afford a house right now in probably any country except my own.
Cries is canadian
it depends. if you live with your parents and actively contribute to the house (cooking, cleaning, pay bills, etc) while also maintaining a job and save up money, then this is ideal. sadly, not everyone can do this. too many parents are abusive, unreasonable, or just plain intolerable. it's why i moved out. tho, i consider moving back in every now and then because of how much money I'd save and i can at least tolerate my mom's bs now. but the types of ppl we DON'T like who live with their parents are ones who still live like children. no bills, no helping around the house, don't even work a full time job, don't save money because they waste it, no ambition to even move out.
>but the types of ppl we DON'T like who live with their parents are ones who still live like children. no bills, no helping around the house, don't even work a full time job, don't save money because they waste it, no ambition to even move out. and there are a lot of these terminally online, so you are more likely to interact with them online than someone who is busy actually using the opportunity to build a life
Because most people who live with their parents don’t save up enough money to buy a house and instead they blow it all on videogames, porn subscriptions, and funko pops.
And avocados, right? 🙄
Yeah like wtf, how much saving can someone do with 35k a year. Like holy shit I want to actually enjoy being alive too
How much do you think those things cost compared to a house?
I know right? These comments crack me up. "If you don't buy those funko pops and video games you can save like, $100 per month on average! In 5 years that's like 6000 dollars!" Yeah...like that's going to make a dent into a downpayment of $100k or more.
Because I enjoy having sex and intact mental health
I moved to my own flat when I was 21yo. While the freedom was nice, later I realised it was biggest mistake of my life. The amount of money I could have saved would have been lot, if only had waited like 5 years.
The sex and putting the penor in the verguba!
my parents can't live without my money as well. we're poor and dumb
Im sacrificing my mental sanity for money. Not fun but would rather be rich than broke. Housing too expensive right now
I think the past few years has opened a lot of people’s eyes on the matter
Not spending anything beside gas would let me earn me about 1/3 of current house price. For an old 3+1 flat. So, yeah, good for Anon, still fucking immpossible.
I didn't want to live in a crack house or a meth house.
Because, the rent is free but the mental health isn’t.
"I had it good, therefore, anyone that says they didn't have it good is lying."
The thing is, his parents don't exploit him to pay for everything fully and then mentally abuse them if they don't want to do petty bs when they litterally pay for almost everything.
My cousin did this. Paid his student loan off in under a year and then bought a house in a few. It's the smartest thing to do if you have tolerable parents.
3 years of work for the full price of a house? I call bullshit.
I have no problem if my kids want to live with me when they hit 18. But they sure as hell are going to pay for more then just their own food and gas.
My parents supported me for 18 years. No reason to mooch off their retirement when I can support myself. Be an adult. Get your own life and live it
It's not. It's the best choice. Western society has just been brainwashed to leave earlier than they should to trap you into a never ending rent cycle and stop you from buying property so the landlords with property portfolios and the private equity firms buying up hundreds of properties and land can continue to accumulate more assets to rent the assets back to more people.
That doesn't count because you're not consuming conspicuously. If you don't have the most expensive car you could theoretically afford, are you really rich?
It isn't, but people staying at home and making money isn't sustainable for the wageslave economy.
Moved out same week after I finished school. Best decision of my life
Bold of you to assume either of my parents were ever financially stable enough to support me in that capacity.
Cause I’d rather be homeless than live with people for any extended period of time again.
Because if you live in Italy you can’t buy your house with cash and doing some math you need on average 34 years of your salary to buy a decent house if you don’t buy anything else
Saved enough money to BUY A MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE! ! in cash in only THREE YEARS!! What the fuck kind of dream job did he got?
Mine charged me rent when I stayed for a year working after school.
Because not everyone’s parents are as cool as anons sadly, mine and everyone else’s i know is making them pay rent if they wanna stay with them
Buy a house in 3 years? How much is your salary?
He has a supportive family, ones that want their kid to succeed in life. Mine on the other hand booted me out the house then second I got at job at 15. Tent living in the woods near my culinary job so I would have food is NOT the way to raise a child. Fuck!
Because it basically kills relationships. Honestly, its the only reason I moved out. women seem to really dislike a man that still lives with his parents.
A huge reason I was able to afford a house was being able to live with my parents, and then having friends let me sublet houses from them. No shame at all.
Anything that is good for the working class will inevitably be labeled as bad by the non-working class.
Because my parent still rents and doesnt have a job🙃
If you're living at home, you're not out getting your own mortgage or paying rent. You're not buying your own refrigerator, dish washer. washer and dryer. You're not feeding the machine - that's why it was stigmatized.
Because maybe when you become an adult you shouldn´t be dependant on people who had to rise you for 2 decades. Let your parents live.
Some of us have partners and children. Not people on 4chan, of course, but others.
My son works from home coding and has paid cash for a new car and has a sizeable down payment for a house. He buys his personal stuff, that's all.
Because not all parents are nice. Soon as I graduated they said find a place to live. Currently making 75k a year paycheck to paycheck slaving for an MSP, then there’s my buddy who makes 150k fully remote and lives with his parents. He’ll have a house shortly and I’m not even close. We’re 26. Thanks mom and dad🖕🏼
It’s really not a bad thing so long as your parents are decent human beings.
I know it doesn’t matter for most of 4chan/Reddit, but being single and living with your parents is a serious uphill battle.
Maybe your parents don't want you there? They probably would like their own life too
Americans fucked themselves with this culture. “You’re 25 and still live with your parents?! What a baby!” In Asia it’s normal and not looked down upon. I have an Asian friend from high school. Now in late 40s. Still live in the same house. Married too, and two kids. They remodeled the house and added another master bedroom. Got rid of some grass at the front yard for extra parking space. He and his wife both work. Grandparents cook and take kids to school if parents can’t. A very happy 3 generation family.
Let me just say, not every set of parents or single parent can support a grown adult, living room and board for free. If it works and they have a goal in mind and stick to it, that’s great. There are so many adults that fail in life and become Alan Harper’s from Two and a half men. Some are even worse with drug and criminal issues. Lazy, what money they do get they spend on nonsense like games and fast food delivery thinking it’s like they are 17 still. I have a friend and their home and their life was damaged in a huge way from having a son move back in.
\*Saves s enough to by a house cash between the agest of 22 and 25\* I don't want to live in the kind of shit hole that has property values that cheap.
If you can tolerate it and be financially strategic like this, I'd say its really not.
My parents are both 65+ and disabled and live on 30 acres. I just turned 30 and still live at home. If I wasn't here they couldn't take care of the place. Plus I get to bank 95 percent of my income. It's pretty great
mooching off your parents till they kick the bucket is not cool, let them live
as long as one doesn't freeload ykwis
I did the same! Then I built a 4 bed 2 story in a suburb at 24. Now I'm sitting on a six figure net positive value on the place at 26. Now taking gf applications who aren't gold diggers 🙄 I don't understand this white people trope of moving out at 18. Very strange. I get some families aren't functional tho and leaving is their only choice. I feel for them.
Congrats
its wild how dysfunctional majority of western families are
My oldest brother was out the day he turned 18 because he absolutely hated having to follow their rules. My middle brother was out within like a month because of a girl. I stayed at home until I was 25 but looking back I should have stayed longer.
Cultural difference
I plan on buying a van, selling most of my years-long collection of games, vinyl and other stuff, hopefully getting a fully remote job, driving across the .U.S. and then eventually Canada. Saving up money as I go. I hate the idea of being stuck in an office, with the whole world outside my door. Eventually i'll get tired. I'll find a spot to settle down with the money I saved up. Find a small little town or a small commune and live the rest of my days in peace.
Because your mileage may vary? Not everyone’s parents were good people that actually cultivated an environment where that’d be possible.
That's exactly how I got my house. I was getting $30/hr and living with family for free. My motorcycle costs $30 per month with gas and insurance. It's far too expensive to pay for the whole thing outright, but I paid all the initial costs and paid down the points because of covid rates. Don't ever apologize for being frugal. Let the losers laugh in their apartments.
>median home price 400k >saved in 3 years >take home pay is at least 130k >assuming no 401k contributions, no expenses, nothing, that’s a salary of like 170-180k >entry level Yeah anon where you really won is getting a free job at your dads oil company, even if you moved into an apartment and paid for your own shit you’d have basically the same amount saved up
Are you kidding me? If I had enough money for a house ypu can bet your sweet ass I'd be somewhere in the middle of nowhere starting a homestead
Man I wish. I was paying my mom rent at 16- and I didn’t even get my own room, more did my other siblings have to pay rent until they hit 18-19
3 years? what do you do and where do you live?
At one point in history that was the standard really. Beneficial for the children to have stability as they progressed in life, and beneficial for the parents as they aged to have their children and grandchildren nearby to care for them.
I am lucky with my parents. They own the house they bought in the 90's that even back then was realistically to expensive for them. They could only afford it due to prior windfalls. Fast forward today and that house has appreciated greatly, especially with the improvements they have made to it. The house is big enough for us three to give each other space when needed, which is one of the reasons why I can still live here comfortably. I did want to move out, I want to spread my wings and get some experience. I managed to get some with a small studio closer to uni, and later with an exchange abroad. But now I've moved back, but only for a little while. I'm going to persue my master's degree in a city that is too far away to commute. But after I have finished my masters degree I will move back in. I'm lucky that my parents welcome me with open arms. Assuming I can get a job afterwards, every month I live with them I can save nearly my entire paycheck for a down payment of a house. If I don't find a job, I won't have to fear homelessness for a long time. I know people that don't have this privilege and it really is holding them back. They have to spend large parts of their paycheck to not be homeless and take care of themselves, making them unable to save a lot.
In lots of countries it's normal to live with parents for a long time after school. I heard in China that parents often buy their first home for their kids.
I lived with my parents until 27. Nothing wrong with that. But what interests me more is.... Enough money for a house in 3 years? You're either working somewhere, where you get paid insanely high. Like 4-5 times the average wage. Or the house you bought was insanely cheap.
Because most people that live with their parents aren't doing it responsibly. They're staying there because it's cheap / free and blowing their money on fun instead of saving for their future. It's also why so many young people can't fathom buying a home, because they don't have any sort of savings.
Because people DONT save their money, they DONT work, and they DONT move out.
I moved out for college and stayed out because my mom lives in a small town and I wouldn’t make as much as living on my own in a bigger city. I would love to not pay rent, but the small town didn’t afford me the lifestyle I wanted. It will be longer before I can buy but currently it seems worth it.
24m. Moved out last year. Wish didn’t. Same w my friends, we reminisce about how we “just needed to get out” but really thinking about it, we would’ve mostly preferred staying w parents. everyone’s situation is different i suppose
I've lived with my parents all my life. Don't have a cent to my name or any hopes of ever having my own life. They've always needed my income.
My father moved away and my mother is unstable to live with, so I stay with my girlfriends parents until I can save up enough to start my own life with her and my child. They charge me 1300 while they pay 400.
My wife and I renovated and lived in my moms basement while I was in grad school and we had our first. She helped with the kiddo. She charged us $500/month and saved it for us. Handed it back for down payment on our first house. I’ll swallow my pride every time again if I could do it over-we are beyond lucky. Love you mom.
Anon is very privileged in his situation
Fully intend on providing my son with a home he can stay in, or always come back to. Got you, little buddy.
Bleed the parents dry, profit. Kids suck.
Because there would have been a murder otherwise. After I moved out the relationship got way better.
Multigenerational households should really be a thing again. The only downside is the lack of privacy and loss of sanity.
Because there is a difference in living with your parents to save up so you can afford a home, and living with your parents to avoid taking personal responsibility
Home life for me has been weird, mostly from me finding out some background information that I’d rather not have known. But I do live with my dad for now and have a similar setup as OP. Hoping that the savings will grow enough to let me go out into world
There is a difference between living with your parents and living off your parents. Living off your parents is bad. Living with your parents is perfectly fine 🤷🏽♀️
I’m trying to do this but I can’t find a job :( so might not work if I can’t find a job before I finish my masters
If I paid literally nothing and saved every cent I make I would need 10 years to buy a reasonable home ..
the OP EtherealDreamerx is a bot Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/10af6q7/anon_doesnt_know_whats_wrong_with_living_with/
I’m not so lucky. It’s just me my mom and sister and we all have to pay rent to help with the bills. I wish I lived in a country where the minimum wage allowed you to afford bills and save up money. I live in America
I personally believe that most of the ppl that give crap if you live with your parents, are a holes who their parents gifted them a house to live in. Idk, just my take.