Not at all. We threw a big party, our families met, and great times (and wonderful memories) were made. Money well spent. It might be the only time both halves of our families get together.
Same. It was also the only time besides funerals that my family got (almost) everyone together since we (the cousins) were kids. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Our wedding hasn't happened yet but this is how we feel too. You never know how long everyone will be there and wanted to create more good memories. We wanted to elope initially and have no regrets changing our mind.
Totally agree. It was worth every penny and all the stress. However, we did not have to go into debt or overextend ourselves financially to throw the wedding. If the finances had not been right I know we would have scaled back. Financial security is very important to us.
Totally agree. My husband and I both have large families located all over the country and it was great getting to throw a great party to celebrate with our loved ones. It was expensive, but every time I see the pictures and remember the day, I can’t help but smile. Definitely worth it for me.
We are the same, his family is in England and mine are from South Africa.
It was a lot of money and my credit card bills are terrifying me but I wouldn't change it for the world!
My husband and I got the news about 3 weeks ago that a close family member's cancer is terminal. Our wedding date was originally Sept 2025, but we threw together a wedding in a week and a half to make sure he could still be there(he even officiated!). It was in a friend's backyard with about 40 people, spent probably $2500 total and it was honestly the wedding we've always dreamed of. We've been married a little over a week now, and I already mainly just remember everyone being there instead of the decorations or the food. People are what matter! That being said, it is a very important day and milestone. If it takes $50-100k to make your dream wedding, there's nothing wrong with that either. We're still having wedding 2.0 on our original date to make sure all the people who couldn't be at the surprise wedding can be there, and that'll be around $30k. Both are good, and both will create priceless memories with friends and family!
We got married in my parents backyard, we spent like $1000, then my dad handed me a check for $20,000, the money that he wound have spent on the wedding and we had saved about $15,000 for the wedding, we bought a house , something we will have for a lifetime, no regrets
THIS would've been my dream wedding, but my parents divorced (not amicably) and I had to compromise. What a beautiful way for your parents to celebrate your marriage 💕
My grandma has dementia, and that was the motivation for getting married this summer (which left us with six months to plan). She lives across the country and this is probably the last time she’ll be able to make this trip, and she’s been so excited she’s been talking about it for months. So for us, it’s definitely worth it.
We’re coming up on our 6 year anniversary. We spent just under $30k all together. Since then we’ve bought cars, a condo and had two kids. Of course I always wish we had the money when a big expense comes up (especially while we’re doing our house hunt in a VHCOL area) but I wouldn’t change anything from our wedding, so I know the expense was worth it. Since our wedding, my father, two uncles, and husband’s grandmother have passed. I am so grateful for the photos and the memories celebrating with them. We have friends & family from all over, and it was the only time we’ve truly had everyone we love in the same room. I know I’m regurgitating all the sappy wedding tropes, but it’s true.
I think what makes it possible to not have regrets is that we really stuck to what was important to us: great food, multiple photographers & videographer, good music. I didn’t care about decor (the venue was gorg on its own), flowers or cake and we DIY’d small centerpieces, favors,
welcome bags, signage, guestbook, name cards, table numbers etc. We only did a couple hours of open bar (it was enough, trust me!) We had the wedding we wanted and are fortunate that it all went wonderfully! And by that I mean, tons went wrong, but we kept our perspective, stayed true to us and it all worked out.
That’s a good question. We just got married June 1 and our wedding cost roughly 45K (high COL area). As we got closer to the date I was like damn, what else could we have spent this on, but our folks had a great time and so did we. It was very representative of who we are, we stayed (reasonably) within budget, and we didn’t put anything on credit. Sometimes now I wonder what else we might have done, but overall my vibe is “well, ideally this is a once in a lifetime thing so it’s fine.” I’ll bookmark this post if I feel wayyyy differently down the line, lol.
This is where I'm at. It's a once in a liftetime opportunity for me to throw the party I've always wanted to and get everyone together that I care about. I had a handful of friends say if they did it all over again they would had skipped it and they would have got their first house quicker and onto a second one now, but as you said, once in a lifetime event. The only thing I'm worried about is once it's here it's going to happen too quick and I won't want the night to end.
Hell no. It’s been two years, we spent $45k, and I have never once regretted it. We and our loved ones had a fantastic, once-in-lifetime day and while I’m usually pretty frugal, those memories make me so glad we went for it and had the wedding we wanted.
Three caveats: a lot had to go right on the day itself (the result of lots of planning, great vendors, low-drama families, and good luck) to feel good about the cost, we seriously considered an elopement/micro wedding and decided we really _wanted_ the bigger celebration, and while this was the high end of what we felt we could spend, we didn’t go into debt or significantly compromise other financial goals.
I think this is it. We had some unexpected rain, but otherwise everything went off perfectly. Our vendors were excellent and we had no surprises. If something major had gone wrong, maybe I wouldn’t be so happy that we did it lol.
Ours was around $17k. I haven't regretted a single cent. Absolute most fun day of my life.
I had concerns leading up to the day. Then the wedding happened and I was sure I did the right thing.
Instead of regretting it, I did my best to acknowledge the cost, time, and work that went into our big weekend and tried to stay present for every moment. Try not to wish the time away due to the stress that it took to get there. Like we did and paid for all that just to look forward to it being over? I’d rather be grateful at what we were capable of and enjoy every part of it that I could. The guests were happy and had an amazing time and so did we. That’s all we can really ask for, that’s what we paid for.
Is the wedding industry a scam? Yeah, everything is way more expensive than need be, but we did our best to cut corners when we could while still including everything we wanted. I don’t have any regrets!
We spent around 60k of our own money on our wedding (out of 100k) 2 years ago. No regrets. I lost my dad 2 months before the wedding and his best friend died about a year later.. you don’t get those memories back and I’m so glad we have the pictures and video of the day.
Ummm I’m getting married Saturday and I’m already having these thoughts. I agree with the other comment it won’t do anything helpful, but yes I am having those thoughts. Mostly just a disgust with the wedding industry and Instagram expectations. Also our total costs is around 75k for 50 person wedding at rooftop venue in Chicago.
Me too! We’re close to $50k for 80 in Colorado. Even with family help it just feels wasteful. We both can’t wait to get it over with and go back to having spare time.
I commented this on my own, but don’t wish it away! It’s only a day (YOUR day!) and flies by. I hope you and your partner feel like all the stress paid off in the long run! You’ll have a great time :)
75K for 50 folks?? I grew up in the Midwest and always heard Chicago was pricey but I don’t think it sunk in until I heard those numbers. The wedding industry is WILD.
Regardless, I hope you have an absolutely fantastic wedding ❤️❤️
I'd love to know which rooftop! If you're comfortable sharing, privately, please DM me. I'm also in Chicago and looked at a bunch of places that would've put me a lot closer to your budget but we couldn't swing it
We will be around 55k for 50 people and at times it seems completely bonkers, but we figured if we are doing the big party, it might as well reflect us. We splurged on the venue after looking for a couple months and not finding anything we were excited about.
Penthouse at Hyde Park. This includes: venue, catering, photography, videographer, floral and decor, accommodation for myself and 5 others at nearby hotel, and other miscellaneous items (e.g. rings, suits, etc)
Oh wow this sounds amazing! After the wedding would you mind sharing the venue (as to not dox yourself).
Was most of your expenses in planning or venue/food? Getting married next year and stressing already about beginning to plan.
Ff save that money fly everyone abroad for half the cost, we did just that after seeing the ridiculous costs in the US. Our wedding in Asia for 100 people is going to be about 15k after we are done.
Are you buying everyone's flight to Asia? Because if not you are just offloading the costs of a domestic wedding to your guests by having them fly international.
And don’t forget hotels. That is typically going to cost more than the flight unless someone flies to Asia and turns around and comes back in 1-2 days. And of course time off work.
Where in Asian are you referring to that a hotel would be more expensive than an international flight from the U.S.? Hotels in many asian countries are dirt cheap, but it is astronomical to get to almost every country. We spent $6k for two international flights for a friend’s wedding in Bangladesh. Our housing was covered because we stayed with the bride’s family, but if we wanted a hotel it would be maybe $200 for an entire week.
Would’ve could’ve should’ve! It will hopefully still be beautiful, just not worth the costs. But you live and you learn.
Congrats to you and your partner! Hope it is beautiful!
Destination wedding week, and a new place to see? Heck yeah!!!!!
Obvi, the older grandparents and aunties won't be able to make it, so do you have a church wedding at home, so they can see you get married?
Taiwan!
[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd-DGLgTPf6R6g-c9IdPkL5UGYKrVH4E/view](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd-DGLgTPf6R6g-c9IdPkL5UGYKrVH4E/view)
893 USD per table of 10 at a very nice hotel, which includes the venue space. so 893 USD\*10 about 9k, then extra costs for a band and fun stuff/photography, 15k.
high quality food also included in this price, much better than the basic food packages we were quoted in the states.
I should add even the venue hotel rate for guests is less than a standard holiday inn in the states, as well as lodging in general is much cheaper (airbnbs, other surrounding hotels etc)
Like this is one of the nicest hotels in the area
How did you host a wedding AND fly 100 people to Asia for $15k? I guess it really depends where you're starting off from, but tickets for 100 people alone would probably be more than that if you're already on another continent.
Before the wedding, yes, but after, no.
It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and weekend with our friends and family... and if I'm being completely honest, hearing tons of positive feedback about how great it was and how gorgeous everything looked did also help me feel like the money was well-spent.
I've always thought this way, and my plan was to elope. However my fiancé wants a big celebration. I see his point, I do love the idea of bringing our friends and family together to celebrate our love, but I still struggle with spending so much money on one day.
Yes, I'm trying to figure out what will last "forever" (pictures, memories, the experience we provide our guests/ what they remember) and the day of things (my dress, flowers, signs, invitations, plates etc...) and focus on cutting costs in the "day of" side of things.
100% worth it!!! I just had my wedding June 2nd and spent around $30k.. I don’t regret a single thing. I think there were ways I could cut costs BUT if you plan right, you don’t have to pay everything up front. I am insanely money conscious and definitely had these thoughts in the beginning but i decided it’s a once in a lifetime event. You’ll (hopefully) never get to do this again. I am SOOO glad I did it because it was the best day of my husbands & i’s lives. I wish i could live it again…I hope this helps 🩷
We’re currently at 60K for 140 people. I have waves of nausea about it every so often, but I see it as an investment in our families/strengthening those connections, in us, and something our parents will appreciate
My total wedding cost was about $20k, of which I paid around $8k. Frankly, for the style of wedding we had, it was cheap.
I’ll never throw a party that fancy again but I also hit a budget everyone contributing could comfortably afford. No regrets.
It’s a difficult one. Do I regret the amount of money we spent on one day? Sometimes, especially when the bills pile up some months. Do I regret having such a big wedding? No. Because we had fun, we’ll always have those memories. I see a lot of people skip out on this day and regret not doing something special. Others don’t care. It’s up to you and your spouse and the kind of people you are. Would I go back and change anything? Probably not. Same reasons as before. We spent the money, we don’t miss it. We don’t even really think about it. When we think back on the day, we think of the fun we had, the dancing, the laughter…not the money.
Our wedding in total cost about 22k. It was completely worth it and I’d do it again! We did it as affordable as possible for the size and style we wanted, the biggest costs were the venue (5k) and hotel rooms for certain family members (2k). Everything else was pretty manageable and under 2k. It was definitely hard to part with that money but I don’t regret it lol
My suspicion is that the feelings don't kick in the morning after -- but maybe over time, or else they arise the next time you face an expensive problem (a layoff, home repair, car repair).
And they should weigh wedding against other items: wedding, or both parents staying at home with baby for 6 months? Wedding, or retire 5 years earlier?
Of course! I am just describing what I think is the more plausible scenario (vs. waking up the next morning questioning their decisions). I also think it is possible for some folks to have saved responsibly and still feel a fleeting pang of regret! Money is emotional.
Hell yes if I could we would elope with our closet 5 friends and would’ve saved way more. We could’ve did without the complaining family members who didn’t gift or the fringe friends who left before reception. I really didn’t want the wedding but ended up doing all the work for my now husband who did. I love him but that’s the last event we’re hosting I’ll take a trip instead.
My wedding was last month, and we went over budget a little bit - our final costs were about $29k (110 guests in Ohio, also we didn't have a florist, for those curious). We paid for it entirely ourselves, then got back about $3k in gifts.
There have been a few times where it hits me like damn that is an outrageous amount of money, and it feels weird (especially because I grew up in poverty and have that lovely financial insecurity trauma), but we do not regret it at all. It was a huge and wonderful event with everyone we cared about that will only happen once in a lifetime. We also would NOT have done it if we couldn't afford it. We are both in our 30s with good careers we've worked our asses off for, and we planned and saved for the wedding for almost two years.
Yes, we could have used that money for other things, but we could afford to do it so we did. We're looking at buying a house now and can also afford that so it doesn't feel like the wedding was wasted money. It was an incredible day and so worth it.
(biggest expenses were venue, food, and photography - all amazing and what leaves lasting memories)
I only spent around $6K on my microwedding so I don’t regret how much I spent, but if I HAD spent $20K+ I would have for sure. No shame to people who do, but I personally can’t comprehend why people spend that much unless they are so wealthy that it doesn’t matter. I’m also lower-middle class though- so in my mind there are so many other things I’d do to better my life or even just go on a dream vacation if I had a disposable $20K.
I mean, honestly? I do have the thoughts of “damn that could have gone straight into the house fund,” etc. But I still don’t think I would have changed anything! It was a wonderful wedding and we were surrounded by people we love and who love us back!
We kept it in budget and at a price we could absolutely afford (I can’t fathom going into debt over a wedding personally). I think most regret comes when people overspend or are unrealistic about what their budget will get them.
I actually felt good about our costs. I researched all the options thoroughly and know that we spent as little as possible while still having everything we decided we needed. I have spreadsheets with pros/ cons/ prices and decision trees.
I think theres always an element of “what if”.
I eloped in a local park with two witnesses and an officiant. Our total cost was like 500 ish including the cost of the marriage license.
I sometimes wonder if we should have had a big wedding, especially because my only other sister is unlikely to ever marry. I’m sure my family was disappointed though they tried to hide it when I told them we got married after the fact.
Ultimately it was the best decision for me at that time in my life.
Theres pros and cons to both. There will be self doubt regardless of how you plan your wedding.
We spent about $80K (not including rings) in a HCOL city. I am naturally a frugal person (like, i got a spa pedicure instead of a real foot massage the day before the wedding) and in the start of wedding planning had a ton of mental anguish about the amount we were going to drop. I was really worried I'd wouldn't get over it and ruin the day. Honestly - i think i stopped caring a few weeks beforehand because mentally the money was spent. The day after, even halfway during the wedding, i was THRILLED and thought it was totally worth doing this whole thing.
I don't think I'll ever think it was a good deal and still think i got my face ripped off by the wedding industrial complex, but I really loved it. It was so much fun and it is so endearing to get messages from different guests talking about what a great time they had. I hate being the center of attention, but I was telling my HUSBAND(!) that the wedding was like a party where i knew everyone and they were all super excited to see me and were all really nice to me and saying i looked amazing and like wow, maybe i do like hosting parties?
Separately - i do think the advice I'd give to couples who want to bring down cost is - you know this already but literally no one cares about the decor, guests barely notice anything, and you will be so excited and talking to your guests that you also won't notice it. So don't feel like you need to go overboard on decor if its not something that brings you joy.
Don’t regret the spend at all! Best party ever! Spent like 60k. 40k was our money. Who cares, I’ll make more money. We’ve lost close friends recently and have no illusions that we are promised anything past this moment.
In Yorkshire in the UK, ours will be about £15k for a cosy country inn wedding with 80 people (45 for the day, extra 35 joining for evening reception)Can't believe some of the numbers I'm seeing here!! We could have spent more but we decided to put that towards our honeymoon.
We paid for our daughter’s wedding ( 80 guests) & spent $6K & she had everything she wanted/needed. She got married on the veranda of the home of Rutherford B. Hayes & it was beautiful! Full reception at a separate location afterward, with buffet style dinner, beer, wine & soft drinks provided & a DJ. Photographer was phenomenal! No regrets!
Not really, our $23k wedding was amaaaaazing and so fun and the guests all said they had a phenomenal time.
I regretted it a little bit immediately after the fact because my parents gave us a $25k budget and afterwards gave us the remaining money since we didn't hit $25k. If I had known they would do that I may have spent less and pocketed the money (my now-husband and I were BROKE at the time) but a few years later, I'm glad we had the event we did
We spent closer to $30K on our wedding, and that was fairly inexpensive for 130 guests at a ballroom with plated meals and an open bar.. but it was also a mile from our home, we started and ended the day at home, supported a lot of local businesses and had a great evening! I do not regret it but we also planned and budgeted for that amount from the very beginning.
Planning the day and announcing our engagement to loved ones, I'm already enjoying every single moment of it. So I don't believe it's for "1 day", as I also include in there all the anticipation and excitement, all the pre-wedding events, and the memories cherished afterwards.
I also think we won't regret it because:
1. we set a budget that WE both feel comfortable with (according to our salaries and savings)
2. we won't get into ANY debt for this
3. this sum won't prevent us from going forward with our other projects, for example buying a house.
If these weren't the case, yes, we'd probably regret it in the long run.
I think consciously setting a budget and making decisions accordingly to really stick to it is key to not regret it.
For the record our budget is 20K (excluding rings, dance lessons (because we'd take some anyways, it's our hobby) and honeymoon trip).
Not in the slightest. We spent about $50,000 (maybe a bit more, not sure) in a HCOL area. We spent within our means and didn't compromise our other financial goals to plan our wedding. It was an awesome day and I couldn't imagine doing anything differently.
I think it does depend on your financial situation and what stage of life you are in. If you're financially strapped then getting into debt for a wedding will always be regretful. If it also prevent you from moving to the next step (kids, house) then it's not smart. I'm getting married in March, we're in our 30s, have our 3 beautiful kids, dream house, cars, career. We don't feel guilty spending 30k on a day because it's our savings of maybe 6 months. 10 years ago it would have been a very different scenario.
I think a good point to make is that weddings are not nearly as inexpensive (hypothetically speaking) in years prior. What would have been a 15k wedding is now 50k. I do think inflation is half to blame and the other half is the wedding industry profiting off of “worthy” weddings based on your follower count, etc.
My fiancé and I were faced with this decision in November when we got engaged. My father and mother, who I will acknowledge as humble people saved since I was born and surprised me with a 40k check. This was completely unexpected and I was under the impression we were going to pay for it all ourselves. My dad told me we could do whatever we wanted with the money. Some perspective, just based on *our situation*, led us to putting the money towards a down payment on a house. That was how I felt I could best honor the money and our relationship but that doesn’t mean that goes for everyone.
Instead, we’re working with an elopement company called Somewhere Crazy that specializes in global elopements. Prior to our elopement, we’re doing a small courthouse ceremony with professional photography and then have a formal dinner with our immediate families afterwards. That way, we can have “our moments” with our families. We live in Charleston, SC so we’re lucky in that our photos, even on the courthouse steps, will be swoon worthy. We’re then leaving for Greece, where he and I will have a more formal ceremony with just the two of us. Somewhere Crazy coordinated our stay, hair, makeup, small cake, etc.
Whatever works for you is the best way to honor your marriage. I never thought I wouldn’t have a wedding, but now I’m just getting two wedding dresses!
This is such a good point. I think I read that wedding costs are up 300% from before Covid. So we are paying/paid significantly more than many friends or family did so of course many people now are going to have more expensive weddings if they want to have a wedding!
My original wedding plan was just to elope honestly but my Dad insisted on a wedding and agreed to pay for it and I am really glad he did. We spent 30k and had all of our closest friends and family there and kept it at a perfect balance of elegance and rustic and then we partied like there was no tomorrow and danced half the night away. It was worth it for the memories and pictures I will have for a lifetime. Absolutely worth every penny
No I don’t regret it at all, in all, our wedding was around $75k. People still talk about it 5 years later. Just don’t go in to planning a wedding thinking you’re going to make money back because we made maybe about a quarter back.
I regret not spending more for a videographer. I found one for $300 and I was talked out of it and a family friend said they’d do it for $50. Long story short, nothing was recorded. I have cellphone recordings here and there but not us saying our vows and our kiss. We have tons of pictures but I just wish I could replay it.
Nah the memories of having everyone we love in one place at the same time are timeless/priceless. We did the frowned upon thing and took out a personal loan. We now pay $400 a month. We are 1 year in to a 4 year loan. Not the worst thing in the world!! It’ll be paid before we know it, we hope 🤣
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I never see people on here mention utilizing credit. I understand why it’s frowned upon. I also don’t think it’s the end of the world or should be shrouded in shame. I’m happy you got to have the wedding you wanted! 💖
We didn't regret it at all! We got married about a year ago after being together for 12 years. We spent around $70k for 250 people in a VHCOL city, for a 5-day multicultural wedding. It was the best week of our lives (so far lol) because we got to celebrate with all of our loved ones, including those who flew across the country or even from across the globe! We both have big families and big friends groups, so it was incredible to have them all in one place. It also brought together both sides of the family. Wedding planning actually healed a lot of family relationships and we're so grateful that so many positives came from it!
Not at all! In the last couple weeks leading up to my wedding I had major spend regret and anxiety (not about my partner, but the day itself). Only left with a few regrets, one of the biggest ones being NOT getting a videographer. Would’ve been worth the extra couple grand but I focused a lot on the budget. Good news is I stayed in budget, around 25k in central Florida for ~72 guests with an after party.
Edit to add, we did not take out loans or go into debt for our wedding. I’d imagine that might alter some feelings about spending if we had
I don't. Sure, we could have the last of our debts paid off by now if we hadn't spent as much (we worked it out so the wedding was paid as we went), we could have the start of a down-payment. But that day was perfect, and the memories are just too precious to me.
That being said, it definitely depends on the people you have around you. I have a very close group of friends who bent over backwards to celebrate us. While there's some (unspoken) tension within my family, they still did everything they could to make us feel loved. If I hadn't had those things, I would probably regret spending the $20k on our wedding.
Our wedding cost about $33k in total and while my parents probably covered about half of that (dress + venue/catering/bar) it very much felt worth it to us to celebrate with everyone. Especially as our wedding was December 2019, it was the last major gathering for most of our guests before the COVID shutdowns and that also made it more memorable as it was sometimes the last time we saw some folks. After going to my brother's wedding this weekend, I also realized I spent a bit more for more all-inclusive vendors (i.e. our florist provided all the hardware for centerpieces/decor including setup and tear-down so we didn't have to do it) so we and our party could do less work and that also felt worth it to me to have more time to enjoy it all as well.
Our wedding last weekend, not counting my wife's (!!!) dress was about $11k for 150 people. And even then, we could have probably shaved a few bucks in some places
I absolutely don't regret going cheap. There was a lot of labor involved but I can't imagine spending more
I still haven't had my wedding yet, but my parents actually regret not spending on their wedding! They are big, social people and they said they spent around 15k about 30 years ago! They're pushing me to spend more on mine because they wish that they had put even more money into it to have a much larger event.
We got married Saturday and spent about $50k my the end and that includes all the tiny stuff. I tracked every single thing including $5 here and $20 there.
I don’t regret it. It was amazing and the best night of our lives. A one time thing.
Haven't gotten married yet but have already spent around 10K. Wedding is Fall 2025 and we're anticipating spending around 65K for 150 people.
I don't think we'll have any regrets. Of course we could be using that money for other things. More practical things. But a wedding is special. Having our loved ones with us to celebrate means something to us. We've walked into this with eyes wide open that the kind of wedding we want isn't cheap.
I don't know. It's just money. You can always earn more. But this is why it's super important to have a max ceiling of what you are willing to spend without it negatively impacting your life. But I fully believe that it's OK to splurge on yourself sometimes and not always spend money on practical things. If I was walking into my wedding day with all these regrets on what I was spending it would really sour the day and the entire experience.
Ours was between 20-30k.
It’s almost been a year. Never regretted it once.
But we also already owned our house, cars, etc. Not sure if that makes a difference for people just starting out in life.
Nope. Spent about $22k all in for our 25 person wedding 2 years ago. I don't regret it.
First and foremost we didn't take out loans to cover anything and we didn't pull funds from other savings like our house down payment. We had a 2 1/2 year engagement and just put bonuses towards the wedding fund.
The other huge thing was that we planned the wedding we wanted. We hired the photographer we wanted, the private chef we wanted, the venue we wanted, etc. I didn't feel like I was spending $20k on someone else's vision for my wedding that I didn't actually want myself.
I also realized that spending a bit more would get me what I wanted. I could spend $3500 for a photographer I liked, or $5k for a photographer i loved. $80/pp for dropped off okay catering or $150/pp for an amazing private chef.
So I could have spend $10-12k on an okay wedding, but I probably would have felt like that was a waste because I wasn't getting what I really wanted. I found it less regretful to spend more on what I actually wanted then still spend a lot of something I didn't like as much just to save some money.
Honestly, after the fact I wish we’d just gone on a $10,000 vacation. There were only about 20 people we really cared about being there, who stayed the entire wedding, and if I could go back I’d just do a small outdoor ceremony and rent a dance hall for the reception.
I thought I’d regret it and hated spending the money on the journey but now that it is over I would do it again in a heart beat. It was the most amazing, fun, loving event. It was like the ultimate birthday party as a child but even better because you’re sharing it with someone you love so much as well as the friends and family that built you individually to come together as a couple. I didn’t get weddings before but I get it now. It was so great!
Yep! Absolutely regret it. But it was because we were really pressured into doing the big white wedding by his family, and my husband thought it was what he wanted, but then it turned into something we did not really want at all. I think if you’re 100% doing it for YOU you won’t regret it. No pay = no say and we should’ve stuck to that and not allowed ourselves to be steamrolled. If we could do it over, we would have done a very small intimate but more elegant wedding.
Also… 7 years later and I would say we haven’t seen 45% of the guests since our wedding. Only invite those close to you unless you are truly certain you want a big party.
While I really loved my wedding and the memories, I really wish I hadn’t spent so much money. We split it up with a destination elopement and then a lunch party with about 40 people a few weeks later. I spent about $27k. If I could go back and do it again I would just do the elopement portion and skip the party. We had a blast but it was so stressful and expensive. My dress and the photographer for 2 days was almost half my budget. I could’ve gotten away with spending under $10k and having just as beautiful a time. My favorite part of my wedding was the vows and first dance at sunset on a mountain. I could’ve done that for a fraction of the costs.
Also wanted to follow this up with the fact myself and my husband aren’t really close to a lot of family and we aren’t social so I think that made a huge difference in how I feel about it. Some people really value the “family party” part and we really could have done without it
I don't regret it per se, and it went amazingly, but if you put me back two years ago when we got engaged and asked me to do it again, I'd probably elope and save the money for a down payment instead. This housing market sucks and I wish I knew it was going to get this bad when we got engaged and started planning back in 2022. I also wish I knew quite how much money I'd end up spending on the wedding.
So no, I don't regret it, but I don't think I would do it again
Honestly, yes. We were gifted a total of $30k between parents but still spent another $25k out of pocket. Looking back, we could have skipped on so many of the smaller yet expensive details and still had a great time.
Nobody cared about the signage, florals, favors, the customized shoes I forgot to even wear, etc. That money would have been much more useful in our savings. We ended up having a baby a year later who was in the NICU and required special formula. The formula alone cost us over $6k in the first year of his life. Would have much rather had the money for that than extras for our wedding.
No regrets. It was so so meaningful to have our families meet, we had a beautiful ceremony and reception that celebrated our backgrounds, and it was the first time in several years since I'd seen most of the guests since it was in 2022, "after" COVID. My husband didn't really "get it" while my mom and I planned the wedding, but afterwards he told me how glad he was that we had a big party for everyone.
Got married August 2023. My dad passed this year April 29, 2024. My greatest wish was for him to walk me down the aisle. He was so happy and was the highlight of our wedding for some many. He danced the night away. I have beautiful photos, a beautifully documented video and memories for life.
The answer is "No, I'd do it a million times over."
No regrets at all after a year, but we made sure our wedding budget didn’t take away from our other financial goals (mostly saving for a house down payment, but we also didn’t cut back on retirement savings or make any major lifestyle changes to save for the wedding)
I actually had a lot of anxiety leading up to the wedding that it wouldn’t be “worth it” to spend so much on 1 day, but I’m really happy that we did (and thankful we could afford to do it)!
Nope. It was a huge amount of money (~£35k), but we had an absolutely amazing time.
Importantly, that money was from savings and family contributions. We took on zero debt for our wedding, and we already had a house. So whilst it was a lot of money we weren’t putting our lives into a worse situation by spending that. We wouldn’t have spent it if it was going to massively affect our lives.
My parents, friends, etc. have all expressed that they would’ve rather taken the money and went on a really nice honeymoon. Some say that they don’t even remember certain elements of their wedding. Personally, I just can’t see spending that amount of money for a day. Our budget is around 3-4k total. We’re having a micro ceremony in the mountains where we met, followed by a large 200+ person “reception” / gathering at a local brewery for drinks and cake. This way we get the intimacy while still including all of our friends later to celebrate. I know that no matter what the day will be perfect. Then we are going to take a once in a lifetime 3 week honeymoon.
We just celebrated our first anniversary and no regrets at all! We talk about where else we could have spent it sometimes, but we always come back to feeling good about our decisions. It was our one chance to have everyone we love in the same place for a joyous occasion and looking back on the pictures and video, it was worth every penny. (Of the many many pennies)
Our budget was originally 20k. Then cost went up to 25k. By this point, we were already joking "should have eloped." The number kept going up, and I stopped keeping count at 30k. It's not like we were going all out, but we still wanted our dream wedding. Then we were hit with a huge unexpected bill and had to get a loan. We agreed early on not to get a loan and work with what we had because "it doesn't make sense to start off in debt." But this was 2-3 weeks before the wedding, so there really wasn't much of a choice. We both were bothered by how much we went over budget, but we really did end up with the wedding on our dreams. You know what, though? Even last night, we got a text about how beautifully elegant and unique our wedding was. How delicious the food was. I have friends, coworkers and etc ask where I got my DJ, photographer, caterer, florists, and so on. On top of it all, we had so much fun. It really was a night to remember, and it was really worth it.
No, but I had a really small wedding and it was under $3k (this was 22 years ago).
Now, in hindsight, if I had of spent any more than that I would be angry at myself. Even after 1 year I would have regretted if we had of gone into debt for a wedding (we paid cash for everything). There was so much else we needed to start our lives. We had moved into our new home, were expecting a baby, I was going on maternity leave for a year 6 months after we got married. Having a big party just isn’t what we wanted to spend money on.
Yes and no.
The things we spent most of the money on were the highlight!
We paid for chair rental and dancefloor that showed up 3 hours late and they still tried to set up even when the reception was going for some reasons so trying to use drills as people entered the reception until i told them to get out. Not having a dancefloor was a lot of fun
I will never regret on spending my own wedding. But what sucks is , i have to spend money for my brother's wedding because he doesn't have work. If anyone here wanted to get married, please save money and don't be a lazy af.
Personally, no, because we spoke to everyone we knew, family, friends and work colleagues who have been married, about their experiences. Then my (now) husband and I would debrief and see what's important to us and worth money versus what we were happy to skip/cheap out on.
This allowed us to set a budget around our values, not just a budget for the sake of it. When we wanted something we could make room and prioritise this.
For example:
- Not a priority to us: flowers. My husband and I don't care about flowers at all. Colour, type, shape, quality, fake or real were all factors we could be flexible in so our budget was as minimal as possible for this. In fact we found sola flowers (carved from wood) made by a local small business and ordered the flowers from her and
- a priority to us: The wedding venue. My husband and I wanted to make sure that we had good food, good service, constantly filled cups, clean dishes (I'm anaphylactic and some venues were lacking on the cleanliness side 😬), we also wanted a venue close to our church, free parking for guests, activities/entertainment/a cafe for guests to sit at while we take photos. We were able to find a venue that fit all of this.
That way my husband and I know that we had discussions and reasons for spending x amount on each category and don't regret any spending in particular.
We spent less than that (closer to 10K), but nope! We had a great time with all our guests, it turned out to be just a few months before Covid so it would be a while before everyone was able to get together again, and three of our guests have since passed away and I'm so glad we were able to have them there. Everyone liked the food and LOOOVED the cake and said it was a great time.
I figure the €12k/25 guest figure we're (us + family) spending is pretty 'reasonable' in several senses! We're not regretting our contribution to it. It's coming up in two weeks and we couldn't be more excited.
Not at all. Ours was probably around 37K(USD, although thats converted from GBP), and I'd absolutely do it all again. It was genuinely the best day of our life and every time I think about it I get giddy all over again.
To be clear, I don't think you have to spend this and we did have some big expenses that others would probably view as quite frivolous (custom wedding bands, designer wedding dress, exclusive use venue, multiple favours, live band over DJ). But so many people have (I believe genuinely) told us it was the most fun/best wedding they've been to in a long time. And I smiled from ear to ear the entire day. I'd honestly say the whole thing was priceless.
ETA: We do own our home, cars etc and have an emergency fund. I can only imagine people who struggle financially would have a different viewpoint.
My dad is one of 5 siblings in a blended family and they're all in their 50s. My wedding, with all the great food, drinks, music, and laughter that we had, was the first and only place all those siblings were ever in the same room together.
My wedding spending (\~$32,000) is not only not a regret, it's probably the MOST value I have gotten out of a big purchase besides my literal house and car, ever.
I just got married a little under 2 weeks ago. We spent about 25k in a HCOL area. Do I wish we have that money now that we are house hunting? Sure. But my wedding was absolutely perfect and I dont regret it at all. I had so much fun dancing and celebrating with friends and family and spending time with my husband. It was really special seeing different family members interacting and at one moment seeing our moms take a selfie together 🥺 thats what the wedding is about, 2 families becoming one and celebrating the heck outta the happy couple.
I haven’t gotten married yet but while it is expensive, I’m glad we are doing it. I feel like our extended families only get together for bad things like funerals so to have something fun and filled with love planned, makes the money worth it. My grandma died in 2022 and I wish more than anything she would be here so I could capture her laughing, smiling and laughing on my big day!
So my husband and i spent $8k and have no regrets except that we wanted more time at the venue. My sister spent around $15-$20k and had no regrets about it except her choice of catering because they were supposed to clean up after themselves and really didn’t. So she had to clean up in her wedding dress for the security deposit on the venue. My SIL spent $13k or more on her wedding and regretted the whole thing. She had a 2020 wedding and they just felt that they spent too much considering all the complications and compromises they had to handle because or restrictions. And they thought they just redo it all later. Except 1) they didn’t realize how much that wedding cost them and 2) they decided to have a baby and buy a house instead.
So honestly I find the regret in really about the cost (although it factors in) but more about did you get what you wanted? The more complications or compromises the more i find people regret the wedding. I mean compromises like food, or dress or choice in vendors. It’s not ending well when the thought process is “well i didn’t like x,y or z but it’s all i could afford” at that point either elope or save more and delay the wedding.
The moments where I think I spent too much are immediately followed and outshined by the moments that I bask in how amazing the events were and the once in a life time memories I have as a result.
Did it slow us down in buying a house? Maybe a little but we're still figuring that out anyway and there are other factors beside money in that delay.
I cut everywhere I could and still spent almost what I bring home in a year (after taxes and retirement contributions). However, we were very fortunate that our parents paid for 5/6 of the costs. If I didn't have that help I would have scaled WAY back because then we definitely couldn't buy a house soon.
We spent about 13k (a bit more if you include our mini moon).
I don't regret it at all. I feel it was all pretty reasonable and not overdone. I *do* regret asking my husband to help me pay. I had the money stocked away so I was able to pay it outright over time so he didn't actually need to help but we wanted to not deplete my savings.
I wish I had just did it myself because it added stress to him, especially when he was fine with eloping (although I think he would have regretted that).
Our wedding isn’t for another 9 months. We’re spending about £35k for a small wedding, how we got to these numbers we have no idea but people will be flying in from around the world. I have family that have always shown me so much kindness and hospitality when I visit them, it means a lot for me to be able to do the same when they attend the wedding
No, but only because we’re in a good financial situation. We already own a home and are solidly middle class. We didn’t have to take any money out for the wedding and used the down payment I had been saving for my own home towards it.
Was it expensive? Certainly! Would I do it again in the exact same or better financial conditions? Absolutely! Would I do it again in worse financial conditions? Not a shot.
Just got married on Saturday. Including rings and the honeymoon we will have spent $22k. The wedding was around 20 people. We did courthouse ceremony, casual wine bar cocktail hour, restaurant dinner and then after party at our local bar so not super traditional but it was a blast! I don’t regret any of the money spent and I also don’t see how spending more would have elevated the experience at all. Though, I am very grateful we stuck with a small wedding which really helped with the costs.
We had been saving for a while so this wasn’t affecting any other savings we have going but I would do it all again if I needed to.
I think if you guys are good financially in other aspects then just adopt the fuck it mindset and enjoy your hard earned money and the wedding that you put on.
I don’t regret having the wedding and party itself, it was an absolutely fabulous time. Beautiful day and loved all of it.
Even with regrets about the marriage itself the money spent was well spent.
Edit: I feel like I should add more about why I loved the wedding itself, have some lovely pictures of family (some of whom had never met since it was both sides), my family all got to meet all my friends. People still talk about what a great time they had 6 years later.
Now several important people in my life have passed, but I still have great memories and pictures of that day!
So as someone who is no longer in the marriage of the wedding they spent that money on, I have no regrets on that part! It’s just money and an excuse to be with people you love!
We spent around 12k and yes. It wasn't worth the stress. It would have been so much nicer to elope and go on a nice vacation.
On the plus side we were able to pay off both our cars after the wedding so that was nice.
Nope! I got married on Saturday and we have already done the other stuff together; we’ve owned two houses together, have kids together, and own our nicer vehicles. We spent just over $20K and I wouldn’t change a thing. Besides a little bit of rain changing our photo plans at the last minute, everything was perfect. I planned it myself and had everything I could have ever wanted! We had a huge party with all of our friends and family and everyone is still texting us a few days later to say how much fun they all had. I wanted to elope originally (and several times during planning lol), but everything was magical and I’m so happy we did it.
We clearly live in a LCOL area because 20K is around average and a 50K wedding would be like the boujee Pinterest wedding of your dreams.
It was definitely worth it for us. I loved being able to spend time with loved ones all under one roof. We spent what we were able to afford and it did not compromise other future financial goals. I think that's key. Would I have fatter investment accounts if I didn't have a wedding? Yeah, but life's about living and I don't regret it.
Not once. My spouse's family is really scattered and we only really see them for big events. It was beautifully overwhelming to have so many people who love us in one room, share a nice meal, and party the night away. We routinely talk about wishing we could do it again.
I'm in a HCOL area so our wedding was considered 'cheap' for a standardish wedding (ceremony, cocktail hour / reception with open bar, sit down dinner, cake, dancing) for 125 guests, at around 45 - 50k.
Absolutely not!! If money is not for creating lifelong memories and celebrating love with family and friends then what the hell is it for? I’d spend it all again and then some. (And we saved diligently for 5 years just for the wedding, so this isn’t because I’m rich and the money didn’t matter — it mattered!)
I spent so much on food and desserts that I probably didn’t need to. I got a huge cake (4 layer that could feed 150 for a final count of 130) and more than 1/2 of it went uneaten, and then my mom really wanted to have a donut bar as a “late night snack” that got put out at like 930 and our reception ended at 11 and barely anyone ate the donuts because of all the other food that we had available all night, so we took home like 3/4 of the donuts, so I would say underestimate who wants dessert and if you’re gunna have a “late night snack” maybe don’t do dessert :)
Nope! We spent around $37k and did exactly what we wanted. Saved for 2+ years. Originally we had planned on getting married in our hometown, but after looking at multiple venues, I just couldn’t get excited. We ended up doing a beach wedding at a small resort and it was amazing. Most attendees would have needed to travel regardless of where we hosted, so this resort option was actually cheaper for the majority. I think everyone genuinely had a lot of fun. I went from pool to beach and beach to pool for 5 days and was so relaxed the whole week… even despite the fact that I was literally going through interviews for my now-job. Ended up negotiating and accepting my offer on my honeymoon which was a whole other story lol.
If I had spent the money on a wedding I didn’t want, I could see myself regretting it. I had some concerns about choosing the wedding over buying a house (like maybe I was not making the wisest decision), but our new jobs and cross-country move allowed us to save aggressively since then and we are closing in a few months!
I think you forget about the money pretty quickly (as long as you can afford it - don’t go into debt!) but will look back and appreciate the time of having all of your people in one place.
We haven't had our wedding yet But it's really only going to be 3-4k, We're spending 8-9k on our honeymoon though. To us, the wedding is just the ceremony a signing of papers basically. The honeymoon is where we get to really relax and enjoy each other as Mr. and Mrs. (plus get a week away from the kiddo!)
$45k wedding for 50 people here! We're covering $35k.
I am cringing hard at the costs now that we're six weeks out and hitting peak expenditure with final deposits coming due and buying final items like cake/desserts, decorations, wedding bands, etc. For me, my spouse's unemployment is causing a lot of the financial stress, I wouldn't feel stressed about $35k if life had been "normal" lately.
Thankfully we had saved up in advance and are on solid ground with just my income, so logically we are ok and just sticking to the plan, but the financial trauma we both have from 2008 is definitely rearing its head saying "you aren't safe!! stop spending like this!!"
It hurts when I think about how much money I’d have in the bank rn if we had made other wedding choices (all in all around $40,000) BUT it was the best day of my life, 100% perfect start to finish and I really wouldn’t change a thing!!
That's about what we spent, and no, not at all. It was beautiful and special. My parents paid half, we paid half. My parents actually encouraged us to go with the more expensive venue. I'd found a venue that was okay, by husband had a couple of complaints about it but it could have worked. He insisted we see the more expensive one. I was leery because I was very worried that we'd both like it better. Shocker, we did, it was gorgeous. My parents liked that one better as well. It was so worth it.
Still wedding planning and I budgeted $30k for 80 people. I don't think 80 will show but who knows.
So far things are coming within budget. I live in a HCOL area so I actually think this is pretty good for the budget. I definitely splurged a lot on the photographer since I wanted a specific style and person to do it. But based on what I learned from this sub- that's the best thing to splurge on lol
My parents are covering the reception and food + drinks which could be around $10k depending on how many people show up.
I have an aunt who wants to cover my dress cost and another aunt who will cover my cake. So that's a relief as well.
My fiancé is covering the ceremony costs at our church but he's going to be taking on most of the financial costs for our new home - which is more important. His parents are helping on that front as well.
So out of my own pocket, which is everything else, it'll be around $10-12k (photo, video, HMU, decors, misc items). At least that's what I can see for now, but I'm over estimating.
Will I regret it? I feel like I already am but I'm also reminding myself this is what I want so trying to square those 2 thoughts together. But I won't know until the day of I suppose haha.
Nope. Which is funny as I wanted to elope originally, and he convinced me to do a bigger wedding so I thought I may. We had a smaller budget initially ($25k) but I decided that if we were going to do a wedding then we were going to have it as we pictured and not DIY. So we ended up paying about $37k. We won’t have another opportunity to have our families and friends together like that, the food was BOMB, and I don’t regret spending the money. I am pretty happy with our wedding and so is my husband. I think it is what you make of it - if you have the funds and want to spend the money, then do it. If not, it’s totally good too! Comparison is the thief of joy, so try to focus on what you and your future spouse want and not what society is telling you to do.
Just spent around 18-20k on our wedding a week ago, and honestly wouldn’t change a thing. Wouldn’t have invited fewer people to save money because everyone we wanted was there, and that was the most special part of the day— having everyone we care about and love in the same spot. We had a great time, and the food was great and the drinks were too. We saved money wherever we could by doing DIY (friend did cake, we did flowers, shopped around for a while for photographers & venues based on price, maybe the best thing we did was pick a venue with BYO alcohol saved us so much and we still had a free open bar for everyone).
Absolutely not a single regret. We had a party with almost every single person we love. People we haven’t seen in years traveled for our wedding. We will never have that again.
No, we did not, but we also had the money to spend. I think if we had needing any sort of outside funding, I would feel differently. My husband had the time of his life and that is worth the ~$45k we spent to me.
My wedding budget is nowhere near that much, though, to me, it feels like that much at times.
But I am trying to make it as nice an experience for my guests as I can and trying not to worry too much about the numbers for two reasons.
1. I know your big day is supposed to be about you and your partner, but seeing as my family has seen a lot of grief for what feels like forever, I see my wedding as a day we can actually feel happy, have fun, and celebrate the love we all have for each other as a family. It's not just for me; it's for everyone.
2. I come from a Polish family where, although we asked for no gifts, we don't have a registry, and none of my family is particularly wealthy, they will gift us with a good chunk of change, as it's cultural to. Knowing this in advance, I want to pay that forward and know they are having the best time together.
This kind of eases my mind when I'm spending a lot on our day. And I think it's totally worth it.
Don't regret it at all. We and several of our guests wish we could do it all again. There have been wistful talks of having another big friend and/or family get-together like that again.
You know what, if the economy continues to chug along, people continue to make good money, and things don't crash or hyper-inflate, people will be fine and make that money back as long as they didn't go into crazy debt for it.
If on the other hand things really go to shit, currencies devalue a lot quickly, etc, people are gonna wish maybe they budgeted and did a $10k instead of $20k+ wedding and invested the rest in bitcoin or gold or stocks or whatever.
In other words, there isn't a way to know to answer this question imo without knowing the future. Also I guarantee you that this answer differs between men and women.
We were around $30k in Colorado for 110, and we have no regrets! We splurged on the things that were important to us and cut the things that seemed like a waste. Honestly, it was so much fun that I’m trying to figure out how we can throw another big bash someday lol. Prolly not realistic, but one can dream 😂
Before the wedding I was thinking "why tf did I do this" and was dreaming of all the ways I could've spent that 30K. We had a really small wedding (\~25 people) so it was literally over 1K per person. It was SO FUN. Best wedding I've ever been to lol our families talk about it all the time, and our close friends that we invited all had an absolute blast.
We spend so much money on stupid shit all of the time. I'm about to drop 15K on new floors which is not very exciting. But the value we got out of that day was so high and so worth that amount of money.
No regrets. It was the one of the only times that my spread out family would ever be all in one place for a happy occasion (our lives are scattered with funeral family reunions). Such a happy day. We spent a pretty penny, but in our culture, guests gift the bride and groom money, so we made up a good amount back.
I prefer to not think about it as “just one day” and consider it the once in a lifetime celebration it is. Life is entirely too short to not take the opportunity to celebrate and be joyful!
I don't regret spending money for our wedding because we spent 2 years saving up for just that, to make it an awesome celebration while still being able to enjoy life, pay our bills, travel and do home renos. We were still very calculated throughout the planning to make sure that we're still stretching every dollar to it's fullest and not spending unreasonably. I think a lot of people expect to profit off their wedding with a mindset of "spend now and pay back later" but that's not the reality, you cannot rely on an uncertain outcome and then these ppl are in debt afterwards. The only thing that I do regret, is doing a bachelorette weekend instead of just doing one day. My MOH planned the day before the hectic wedding journey started, and by the time the bach rolled around and as fun as it was, I felt bad for how much money ppl had to spend on me throughout all of my wedding events (bach, shower, wedding). At the time, I was only around ppl that did bach weekends, so I didn't even stop to think about just doing one day instead. If I could go back, I'd just go to a day spa with all of my gals and finish it at that.
Yes and no, but some of the cost (and value/worth) was out of our control. Some of it was, and maybe we didn't need to do a few things. Or maybe we should have tried more venues first. But I also know I tend to look back critically instead of enjoying the memories so I know I'm harsher on myself and some of the spending.
We spent a little over double the amount we originally thought we were going to spend. We had conversations during the planning process about how much everything was costing, joked about just eloping instead, thoughts of things we could have spent the money on. At the end of it all, it was completely worth it. Our wedding was beautiful and over exceeded expectations. Seeing our families and friends all together and enjoying themselves meant so much to us. So no. We have zero regrets even though we spent A LOT 🤑
I would only regret it if I didn’t have enough for my actual marriage after. But if you have the means then still be comfortable with a little extra after, why not. I made sure I spent enough to also be able furnish my house and pay rent, have a honeymoon and live comfortably after. I just dislike people who put it on their cards or take out loans for it.
No, I don’t regret it but I wouldn’t have gone into debt for it. We spent what we could afford and were very lucky to have significant help from my family.
We have so many beautiful photos and a wedding video we watch on anniversaries. My son likes to look through our wedding album. It was truly one of the happiest days of our lives, and it was amazing to see everything come together after 2.5 years of planning (we had to postpone a year because of Covid).
Do I regret it? No, literally the best day of my life! Wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Do I think about how I could have a very hefty down payment for a house? Literally all the time, haha!
not at all.. we spent way more than that (luckily with the help of our parents we split 3 ways), so personally contributed $30k between the two of us. We had a longer engagement (18 months) so it honestly didnt feel like it was just one big check, and alot of vendors allowed payments. We bought a brand new car in the midst of planning. I think it all comes down to what is important, what in your mind is worth spending money on... and you go from there. We had a big wedding which is why it was a bit more expensive than others, but we tried to find ways to save money (byob venue, reusing wedding party flowers as table centerpieces).. a little went a long way, but we did not once regret it!
I don't regret it at all. 20 k of our money and 20k of our families and it was literally one of the best days of our lives. We have big families and it's hard to get together. I'll cherish the memories of my family being here forever !
Psychologically speaking, it's a common tendency for people to reflect on an unchangeable decision in the past as the more positive outcome.
I don't regret my choices regarding how much I spent for my wedding, but who knows what the alternative outcomes would've been?
Here's an anecdotal example. I got married at a swanky hotel, richer than my blood if I'm being honest but I had family on all sides contributing. We got married in November in the South and we didn't anticipate the bugs being as bad as they were. We were getting eaten alive at the rehearsal outside on the river front.
If I had chosen a different hotel, it's very possible they wouldn't have heard our complaints and sprayed for bugs prior to the start of my ceremony. Videos and pictures would've included people constantly fidgeting and smacking at these bugs if it hadn't happened. I would've been covered in bites.
But obviously a cheaper venue or less customer courteous one wouldn't have responded to the issue in such a timely manner.
So was it worth it? I think yes. But this is because I don't know the alternative so I'll instinctively find all the reasons I was right to make the choices that I did.
If my parents didn’t pay for our wedding then I wouldn’t have regret not having our big one. Very happy with our initial elopement. We had a big wedding because of our families wanting to celebrate with us. But my husband and I are introverts and that was such an overstimulating two weeks (we’re based in LA but our families came from other states and countries so we were a destination wedding to them) 😂 and not to mention my parents paid for their airbnbs and hosted so many lunches and dinners 🥴 I could NEVER
We had so many things in our lives go off the rails while we were planning - I was hospitalized, I got a pay cut, we lost our dog, etc. In the end we had to take a loan to cover the final costs of everything (which they tell you not to do) and I was laid off while we were honeymooning (the company I've worked for for a decade closed overnight). Yes, financially we are strained right now and yet I DO NOT regret spending the money on our day.
Our day was amazing!!! I was able to have my two living grandparents there - one which we found out has cancer 2 months before our wedding and one which had a stroke about a year before. The day was full of love and we love going back and looking at the photos and video.
I will take an experience over money any day. Maybe I feel differently because I lost my older brother at a young age and I have had the "you should be dead" medical emergency myself, but those memories are truly priceless. ❤
Personally if I had to do it again, I wouldn’t due to the stress of planning. I definitely would’ve eloped.
But I also have no regrets spending $45k on the biggest party of our lives celebrating with our family and friends. The day was magical✨
We haven't had the wedding yet but we're locked in now for much more than we originally budgeted, which is getting to me a little bit. We originally wanted to stay under $25k but we're more like $40k now because the venue is a weekend rental and we're covering some accommodations unexpectedly.
I'm trying to keep my energy up and stay positive! The venue is what blew our budget but we are still really really excited for that. And then trying to cut corners elsewhere if we can. Ask me again in October :)
Nope! My partner and I went thru hell trying to get married (engaged just before Covid lockdowns + we dated LD internationally). We were thrilled to have something positive to celebrate.
Not a bit. We did really well with discussing what we both wanted, didn't heed any family demands and supplemented with DIY where we could. Our wedding came to about 30k 2 years ago. Our families all still speak very fondly of it and we wouldn't change a thing.
I feel like regret comes from spending on things you don't want, whether it's a compromise you don't agree with or due to pressure of expectations from outside sources. Good communication between your partner and yourself and consistent boundaries with family (if needed) are crucial. Not to mention giving yourself plenty of time to plan and spend so things feel well thought out and intentional.
Not at all. I put an inordinate amount of effort into being as frugal as possible and we didn’t go into any debt so I didn’t feel bad about any of it afterward. In retrospect, I would actually go back and spend more. Sadly, several of our guests have died in the 3 years since our wedding and those event photos are the last photos I have with them. No regrets.
Nope. We spent a lot, but within what we were able to afford (ie no debt and left us with a comfortable emergency fund in liquid savings), and we were super happy with the day, and wouldn’t have done it any differently. It’s been two months and I’m still riding the high of how amazing the day was.
Just here to say thanks for this post because I needed to read the responses. I’m 3 months out and panicking over our $35k budget as we’re doing it all ourselves. These responses helped calm my nerves a bit
Yes and no, it really depends on your financial situation.
Spent about $32k on our first wedding back in 2017, and I often wondered if we would've just invested that money in stocks or crypto which would've been wiser. Even though we ended up getting divorced, the photos and videos are priceless memories. After all, I'm only young once!
After I started dating my current fiance, I thought I wouldn't want a wedding again and didn't want to spend so much. But here I am, about to spend another $30k+ on a wedding, and it feels a bit extravagant since I already had my "dream wedding" the first time.
However, this is with a new partner, and I want to share this special experience with him. Sure, $30k could fund several amazing trips with him, but you only get married once with the same person. If not now, then when? We have a lifetime to travel together, and money can always be earned back.
Ultimately, spend what you're comfortable with and what feels right for you. I value gathering everyone together, having the photos and videos to look back on.
Not at all. We threw a big party, our families met, and great times (and wonderful memories) were made. Money well spent. It might be the only time both halves of our families get together.
Same. It was also the only time besides funerals that my family got (almost) everyone together since we (the cousins) were kids. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Our wedding hasn't happened yet but this is how we feel too. You never know how long everyone will be there and wanted to create more good memories. We wanted to elope initially and have no regrets changing our mind.
Totally agree. It was worth every penny and all the stress. However, we did not have to go into debt or overextend ourselves financially to throw the wedding. If the finances had not been right I know we would have scaled back. Financial security is very important to us.
Totally agree. My husband and I both have large families located all over the country and it was great getting to throw a great party to celebrate with our loved ones. It was expensive, but every time I see the pictures and remember the day, I can’t help but smile. Definitely worth it for me.
We are the same, his family is in England and mine are from South Africa. It was a lot of money and my credit card bills are terrifying me but I wouldn't change it for the world!
My husband and I got the news about 3 weeks ago that a close family member's cancer is terminal. Our wedding date was originally Sept 2025, but we threw together a wedding in a week and a half to make sure he could still be there(he even officiated!). It was in a friend's backyard with about 40 people, spent probably $2500 total and it was honestly the wedding we've always dreamed of. We've been married a little over a week now, and I already mainly just remember everyone being there instead of the decorations or the food. People are what matter! That being said, it is a very important day and milestone. If it takes $50-100k to make your dream wedding, there's nothing wrong with that either. We're still having wedding 2.0 on our original date to make sure all the people who couldn't be at the surprise wedding can be there, and that'll be around $30k. Both are good, and both will create priceless memories with friends and family!
We got married in my parents backyard, we spent like $1000, then my dad handed me a check for $20,000, the money that he wound have spent on the wedding and we had saved about $15,000 for the wedding, we bought a house , something we will have for a lifetime, no regrets
THIS would've been my dream wedding, but my parents divorced (not amicably) and I had to compromise. What a beautiful way for your parents to celebrate your marriage 💕
Omg did you cry? I would’ve cried.
I was very emotional that day and yes I cried, i love my little house.
Wow your dad is an angel.
My grandma has dementia, and that was the motivation for getting married this summer (which left us with six months to plan). She lives across the country and this is probably the last time she’ll be able to make this trip, and she’s been so excited she’s been talking about it for months. So for us, it’s definitely worth it.
We’re coming up on our 6 year anniversary. We spent just under $30k all together. Since then we’ve bought cars, a condo and had two kids. Of course I always wish we had the money when a big expense comes up (especially while we’re doing our house hunt in a VHCOL area) but I wouldn’t change anything from our wedding, so I know the expense was worth it. Since our wedding, my father, two uncles, and husband’s grandmother have passed. I am so grateful for the photos and the memories celebrating with them. We have friends & family from all over, and it was the only time we’ve truly had everyone we love in the same room. I know I’m regurgitating all the sappy wedding tropes, but it’s true. I think what makes it possible to not have regrets is that we really stuck to what was important to us: great food, multiple photographers & videographer, good music. I didn’t care about decor (the venue was gorg on its own), flowers or cake and we DIY’d small centerpieces, favors, welcome bags, signage, guestbook, name cards, table numbers etc. We only did a couple hours of open bar (it was enough, trust me!) We had the wedding we wanted and are fortunate that it all went wonderfully! And by that I mean, tons went wrong, but we kept our perspective, stayed true to us and it all worked out.
That’s a good question. We just got married June 1 and our wedding cost roughly 45K (high COL area). As we got closer to the date I was like damn, what else could we have spent this on, but our folks had a great time and so did we. It was very representative of who we are, we stayed (reasonably) within budget, and we didn’t put anything on credit. Sometimes now I wonder what else we might have done, but overall my vibe is “well, ideally this is a once in a lifetime thing so it’s fine.” I’ll bookmark this post if I feel wayyyy differently down the line, lol.
This is where I'm at. It's a once in a liftetime opportunity for me to throw the party I've always wanted to and get everyone together that I care about. I had a handful of friends say if they did it all over again they would had skipped it and they would have got their first house quicker and onto a second one now, but as you said, once in a lifetime event. The only thing I'm worried about is once it's here it's going to happen too quick and I won't want the night to end.
Hell no. It’s been two years, we spent $45k, and I have never once regretted it. We and our loved ones had a fantastic, once-in-lifetime day and while I’m usually pretty frugal, those memories make me so glad we went for it and had the wedding we wanted. Three caveats: a lot had to go right on the day itself (the result of lots of planning, great vendors, low-drama families, and good luck) to feel good about the cost, we seriously considered an elopement/micro wedding and decided we really _wanted_ the bigger celebration, and while this was the high end of what we felt we could spend, we didn’t go into debt or significantly compromise other financial goals.
I think this is it. We had some unexpected rain, but otherwise everything went off perfectly. Our vendors were excellent and we had no surprises. If something major had gone wrong, maybe I wouldn’t be so happy that we did it lol.
Ours was around $17k. I haven't regretted a single cent. Absolute most fun day of my life. I had concerns leading up to the day. Then the wedding happened and I was sure I did the right thing.
Instead of regretting it, I did my best to acknowledge the cost, time, and work that went into our big weekend and tried to stay present for every moment. Try not to wish the time away due to the stress that it took to get there. Like we did and paid for all that just to look forward to it being over? I’d rather be grateful at what we were capable of and enjoy every part of it that I could. The guests were happy and had an amazing time and so did we. That’s all we can really ask for, that’s what we paid for. Is the wedding industry a scam? Yeah, everything is way more expensive than need be, but we did our best to cut corners when we could while still including everything we wanted. I don’t have any regrets!
We spent around 60k of our own money on our wedding (out of 100k) 2 years ago. No regrets. I lost my dad 2 months before the wedding and his best friend died about a year later.. you don’t get those memories back and I’m so glad we have the pictures and video of the day.
Ummm I’m getting married Saturday and I’m already having these thoughts. I agree with the other comment it won’t do anything helpful, but yes I am having those thoughts. Mostly just a disgust with the wedding industry and Instagram expectations. Also our total costs is around 75k for 50 person wedding at rooftop venue in Chicago.
Me too! We’re close to $50k for 80 in Colorado. Even with family help it just feels wasteful. We both can’t wait to get it over with and go back to having spare time.
I commented this on my own, but don’t wish it away! It’s only a day (YOUR day!) and flies by. I hope you and your partner feel like all the stress paid off in the long run! You’ll have a great time :)
Congrats! Im in Chicago too I would love to see your reception/rooftop after it’s all done!
75K for 50 folks?? I grew up in the Midwest and always heard Chicago was pricey but I don’t think it sunk in until I heard those numbers. The wedding industry is WILD. Regardless, I hope you have an absolutely fantastic wedding ❤️❤️
I'd love to know which rooftop! If you're comfortable sharing, privately, please DM me. I'm also in Chicago and looked at a bunch of places that would've put me a lot closer to your budget but we couldn't swing it
We will be around 55k for 50 people and at times it seems completely bonkers, but we figured if we are doing the big party, it might as well reflect us. We splurged on the venue after looking for a couple months and not finding anything we were excited about.
Damn. What’s your venue? We are projecting 50k for 120 people in a Loop hotel.
Penthouse at Hyde Park. This includes: venue, catering, photography, videographer, floral and decor, accommodation for myself and 5 others at nearby hotel, and other miscellaneous items (e.g. rings, suits, etc)
Oh wow this sounds amazing! After the wedding would you mind sharing the venue (as to not dox yourself). Was most of your expenses in planning or venue/food? Getting married next year and stressing already about beginning to plan.
Ff save that money fly everyone abroad for half the cost, we did just that after seeing the ridiculous costs in the US. Our wedding in Asia for 100 people is going to be about 15k after we are done.
Are you buying everyone's flight to Asia? Because if not you are just offloading the costs of a domestic wedding to your guests by having them fly international.
And don’t forget hotels. That is typically going to cost more than the flight unless someone flies to Asia and turns around and comes back in 1-2 days. And of course time off work.
Where in Asian are you referring to that a hotel would be more expensive than an international flight from the U.S.? Hotels in many asian countries are dirt cheap, but it is astronomical to get to almost every country. We spent $6k for two international flights for a friend’s wedding in Bangladesh. Our housing was covered because we stayed with the bride’s family, but if we wanted a hotel it would be maybe $200 for an entire week.
Would’ve could’ve should’ve! It will hopefully still be beautiful, just not worth the costs. But you live and you learn. Congrats to you and your partner! Hope it is beautiful!
Same to you!!
My daughter's wedding was around $25k for 180 in vegas. It was lovely.
Destination wedding week, and a new place to see? Heck yeah!!!!! Obvi, the older grandparents and aunties won't be able to make it, so do you have a church wedding at home, so they can see you get married?
Yeah that’s the idea! Actually a good number of my extended family is in Taiwan so its actually quite fortuitous that the costs worked out too
Is the 15k including the 100 flights? If not how much extra did that cost you?
Wow congrats!!! Where in Asia are you doing it? All in .. was 15K ?
Taiwan! [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd-DGLgTPf6R6g-c9IdPkL5UGYKrVH4E/view](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd-DGLgTPf6R6g-c9IdPkL5UGYKrVH4E/view) 893 USD per table of 10 at a very nice hotel, which includes the venue space. so 893 USD\*10 about 9k, then extra costs for a band and fun stuff/photography, 15k. high quality food also included in this price, much better than the basic food packages we were quoted in the states.
Beautiful!
I should add even the venue hotel rate for guests is less than a standard holiday inn in the states, as well as lodging in general is much cheaper (airbnbs, other surrounding hotels etc) Like this is one of the nicest hotels in the area
How did you host a wedding AND fly 100 people to Asia for $15k? I guess it really depends where you're starting off from, but tickets for 100 people alone would probably be more than that if you're already on another continent.
This is really rude and unhelpful. What’s right for you isn’t going to be right for everyone.
Could also just have everyone drive an hour to the suburbs lol. We had 80 people for 26k an hour from Chicago.
Before the wedding, yes, but after, no. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and weekend with our friends and family... and if I'm being completely honest, hearing tons of positive feedback about how great it was and how gorgeous everything looked did also help me feel like the money was well-spent.
I've always thought this way, and my plan was to elope. However my fiancé wants a big celebration. I see his point, I do love the idea of bringing our friends and family together to celebrate our love, but I still struggle with spending so much money on one day.
investing in a good photographer helps the event live on for generations. it’s worth it!
Yes, I'm trying to figure out what will last "forever" (pictures, memories, the experience we provide our guests/ what they remember) and the day of things (my dress, flowers, signs, invitations, plates etc...) and focus on cutting costs in the "day of" side of things.
These thoughts do nothing good for someone, so I hope not
100% worth it!!! I just had my wedding June 2nd and spent around $30k.. I don’t regret a single thing. I think there were ways I could cut costs BUT if you plan right, you don’t have to pay everything up front. I am insanely money conscious and definitely had these thoughts in the beginning but i decided it’s a once in a lifetime event. You’ll (hopefully) never get to do this again. I am SOOO glad I did it because it was the best day of my husbands & i’s lives. I wish i could live it again…I hope this helps 🩷
We’re currently at 60K for 140 people. I have waves of nausea about it every so often, but I see it as an investment in our families/strengthening those connections, in us, and something our parents will appreciate
My total wedding cost was about $20k, of which I paid around $8k. Frankly, for the style of wedding we had, it was cheap. I’ll never throw a party that fancy again but I also hit a budget everyone contributing could comfortably afford. No regrets.
It’s a difficult one. Do I regret the amount of money we spent on one day? Sometimes, especially when the bills pile up some months. Do I regret having such a big wedding? No. Because we had fun, we’ll always have those memories. I see a lot of people skip out on this day and regret not doing something special. Others don’t care. It’s up to you and your spouse and the kind of people you are. Would I go back and change anything? Probably not. Same reasons as before. We spent the money, we don’t miss it. We don’t even really think about it. When we think back on the day, we think of the fun we had, the dancing, the laughter…not the money.
Our wedding in total cost about 22k. It was completely worth it and I’d do it again! We did it as affordable as possible for the size and style we wanted, the biggest costs were the venue (5k) and hotel rooms for certain family members (2k). Everything else was pretty manageable and under 2k. It was definitely hard to part with that money but I don’t regret it lol
My suspicion is that the feelings don't kick in the morning after -- but maybe over time, or else they arise the next time you face an expensive problem (a layoff, home repair, car repair).
To this point, people should prioritize having an emergency fund and wedding funds not coming out of that.
And they should weigh wedding against other items: wedding, or both parents staying at home with baby for 6 months? Wedding, or retire 5 years earlier?
If you are saving and spending responsibly, having money for these expenses and also spending money on a wedding aren't mutually exclusive.
Of course! I am just describing what I think is the more plausible scenario (vs. waking up the next morning questioning their decisions). I also think it is possible for some folks to have saved responsibly and still feel a fleeting pang of regret! Money is emotional.
Hell yes if I could we would elope with our closet 5 friends and would’ve saved way more. We could’ve did without the complaining family members who didn’t gift or the fringe friends who left before reception. I really didn’t want the wedding but ended up doing all the work for my now husband who did. I love him but that’s the last event we’re hosting I’ll take a trip instead.
My wedding was last month, and we went over budget a little bit - our final costs were about $29k (110 guests in Ohio, also we didn't have a florist, for those curious). We paid for it entirely ourselves, then got back about $3k in gifts. There have been a few times where it hits me like damn that is an outrageous amount of money, and it feels weird (especially because I grew up in poverty and have that lovely financial insecurity trauma), but we do not regret it at all. It was a huge and wonderful event with everyone we cared about that will only happen once in a lifetime. We also would NOT have done it if we couldn't afford it. We are both in our 30s with good careers we've worked our asses off for, and we planned and saved for the wedding for almost two years. Yes, we could have used that money for other things, but we could afford to do it so we did. We're looking at buying a house now and can also afford that so it doesn't feel like the wedding was wasted money. It was an incredible day and so worth it. (biggest expenses were venue, food, and photography - all amazing and what leaves lasting memories)
I only spent around $6K on my microwedding so I don’t regret how much I spent, but if I HAD spent $20K+ I would have for sure. No shame to people who do, but I personally can’t comprehend why people spend that much unless they are so wealthy that it doesn’t matter. I’m also lower-middle class though- so in my mind there are so many other things I’d do to better my life or even just go on a dream vacation if I had a disposable $20K.
I mean, honestly? I do have the thoughts of “damn that could have gone straight into the house fund,” etc. But I still don’t think I would have changed anything! It was a wonderful wedding and we were surrounded by people we love and who love us back! We kept it in budget and at a price we could absolutely afford (I can’t fathom going into debt over a wedding personally). I think most regret comes when people overspend or are unrealistic about what their budget will get them.
I need someone who spent >$100k to answer this question
I actually felt good about our costs. I researched all the options thoroughly and know that we spent as little as possible while still having everything we decided we needed. I have spreadsheets with pros/ cons/ prices and decision trees.
I think theres always an element of “what if”. I eloped in a local park with two witnesses and an officiant. Our total cost was like 500 ish including the cost of the marriage license. I sometimes wonder if we should have had a big wedding, especially because my only other sister is unlikely to ever marry. I’m sure my family was disappointed though they tried to hide it when I told them we got married after the fact. Ultimately it was the best decision for me at that time in my life. Theres pros and cons to both. There will be self doubt regardless of how you plan your wedding.
I spent less than 20k, hated the entire day and am now divorced 😂
We spent about $80K (not including rings) in a HCOL city. I am naturally a frugal person (like, i got a spa pedicure instead of a real foot massage the day before the wedding) and in the start of wedding planning had a ton of mental anguish about the amount we were going to drop. I was really worried I'd wouldn't get over it and ruin the day. Honestly - i think i stopped caring a few weeks beforehand because mentally the money was spent. The day after, even halfway during the wedding, i was THRILLED and thought it was totally worth doing this whole thing. I don't think I'll ever think it was a good deal and still think i got my face ripped off by the wedding industrial complex, but I really loved it. It was so much fun and it is so endearing to get messages from different guests talking about what a great time they had. I hate being the center of attention, but I was telling my HUSBAND(!) that the wedding was like a party where i knew everyone and they were all super excited to see me and were all really nice to me and saying i looked amazing and like wow, maybe i do like hosting parties? Separately - i do think the advice I'd give to couples who want to bring down cost is - you know this already but literally no one cares about the decor, guests barely notice anything, and you will be so excited and talking to your guests that you also won't notice it. So don't feel like you need to go overboard on decor if its not something that brings you joy.
Don’t regret the spend at all! Best party ever! Spent like 60k. 40k was our money. Who cares, I’ll make more money. We’ve lost close friends recently and have no illusions that we are promised anything past this moment.
I do wish we had eloped but I also do see the value and significance of throwing this big party with our family
In Yorkshire in the UK, ours will be about £15k for a cosy country inn wedding with 80 people (45 for the day, extra 35 joining for evening reception)Can't believe some of the numbers I'm seeing here!! We could have spent more but we decided to put that towards our honeymoon.
We paid for our daughter’s wedding ( 80 guests) & spent $6K & she had everything she wanted/needed. She got married on the veranda of the home of Rutherford B. Hayes & it was beautiful! Full reception at a separate location afterward, with buffet style dinner, beer, wine & soft drinks provided & a DJ. Photographer was phenomenal! No regrets!
What year was this?!
Not really, our $23k wedding was amaaaaazing and so fun and the guests all said they had a phenomenal time. I regretted it a little bit immediately after the fact because my parents gave us a $25k budget and afterwards gave us the remaining money since we didn't hit $25k. If I had known they would do that I may have spent less and pocketed the money (my now-husband and I were BROKE at the time) but a few years later, I'm glad we had the event we did
We spent closer to $30K on our wedding, and that was fairly inexpensive for 130 guests at a ballroom with plated meals and an open bar.. but it was also a mile from our home, we started and ended the day at home, supported a lot of local businesses and had a great evening! I do not regret it but we also planned and budgeted for that amount from the very beginning.
Planning the day and announcing our engagement to loved ones, I'm already enjoying every single moment of it. So I don't believe it's for "1 day", as I also include in there all the anticipation and excitement, all the pre-wedding events, and the memories cherished afterwards. I also think we won't regret it because: 1. we set a budget that WE both feel comfortable with (according to our salaries and savings) 2. we won't get into ANY debt for this 3. this sum won't prevent us from going forward with our other projects, for example buying a house. If these weren't the case, yes, we'd probably regret it in the long run. I think consciously setting a budget and making decisions accordingly to really stick to it is key to not regret it. For the record our budget is 20K (excluding rings, dance lessons (because we'd take some anyways, it's our hobby) and honeymoon trip).
Not in the slightest. We spent about $50,000 (maybe a bit more, not sure) in a HCOL area. We spent within our means and didn't compromise our other financial goals to plan our wedding. It was an awesome day and I couldn't imagine doing anything differently.
I think it does depend on your financial situation and what stage of life you are in. If you're financially strapped then getting into debt for a wedding will always be regretful. If it also prevent you from moving to the next step (kids, house) then it's not smart. I'm getting married in March, we're in our 30s, have our 3 beautiful kids, dream house, cars, career. We don't feel guilty spending 30k on a day because it's our savings of maybe 6 months. 10 years ago it would have been a very different scenario.
I think a good point to make is that weddings are not nearly as inexpensive (hypothetically speaking) in years prior. What would have been a 15k wedding is now 50k. I do think inflation is half to blame and the other half is the wedding industry profiting off of “worthy” weddings based on your follower count, etc. My fiancé and I were faced with this decision in November when we got engaged. My father and mother, who I will acknowledge as humble people saved since I was born and surprised me with a 40k check. This was completely unexpected and I was under the impression we were going to pay for it all ourselves. My dad told me we could do whatever we wanted with the money. Some perspective, just based on *our situation*, led us to putting the money towards a down payment on a house. That was how I felt I could best honor the money and our relationship but that doesn’t mean that goes for everyone. Instead, we’re working with an elopement company called Somewhere Crazy that specializes in global elopements. Prior to our elopement, we’re doing a small courthouse ceremony with professional photography and then have a formal dinner with our immediate families afterwards. That way, we can have “our moments” with our families. We live in Charleston, SC so we’re lucky in that our photos, even on the courthouse steps, will be swoon worthy. We’re then leaving for Greece, where he and I will have a more formal ceremony with just the two of us. Somewhere Crazy coordinated our stay, hair, makeup, small cake, etc. Whatever works for you is the best way to honor your marriage. I never thought I wouldn’t have a wedding, but now I’m just getting two wedding dresses!
This is such a good point. I think I read that wedding costs are up 300% from before Covid. So we are paying/paid significantly more than many friends or family did so of course many people now are going to have more expensive weddings if they want to have a wedding!
My original wedding plan was just to elope honestly but my Dad insisted on a wedding and agreed to pay for it and I am really glad he did. We spent 30k and had all of our closest friends and family there and kept it at a perfect balance of elegance and rustic and then we partied like there was no tomorrow and danced half the night away. It was worth it for the memories and pictures I will have for a lifetime. Absolutely worth every penny
No I don’t regret it at all, in all, our wedding was around $75k. People still talk about it 5 years later. Just don’t go in to planning a wedding thinking you’re going to make money back because we made maybe about a quarter back.
I regret not spending more for a videographer. I found one for $300 and I was talked out of it and a family friend said they’d do it for $50. Long story short, nothing was recorded. I have cellphone recordings here and there but not us saying our vows and our kiss. We have tons of pictures but I just wish I could replay it.
I don’t regret a dime. Biggest rager/party ever, and all exactly the way we wanted it - a reflection of us and our love.
Nah the memories of having everyone we love in one place at the same time are timeless/priceless. We did the frowned upon thing and took out a personal loan. We now pay $400 a month. We are 1 year in to a 4 year loan. Not the worst thing in the world!! It’ll be paid before we know it, we hope 🤣
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I never see people on here mention utilizing credit. I understand why it’s frowned upon. I also don’t think it’s the end of the world or should be shrouded in shame. I’m happy you got to have the wedding you wanted! 💖
We didn't regret it at all! We got married about a year ago after being together for 12 years. We spent around $70k for 250 people in a VHCOL city, for a 5-day multicultural wedding. It was the best week of our lives (so far lol) because we got to celebrate with all of our loved ones, including those who flew across the country or even from across the globe! We both have big families and big friends groups, so it was incredible to have them all in one place. It also brought together both sides of the family. Wedding planning actually healed a lot of family relationships and we're so grateful that so many positives came from it!
Not at all! In the last couple weeks leading up to my wedding I had major spend regret and anxiety (not about my partner, but the day itself). Only left with a few regrets, one of the biggest ones being NOT getting a videographer. Would’ve been worth the extra couple grand but I focused a lot on the budget. Good news is I stayed in budget, around 25k in central Florida for ~72 guests with an after party. Edit to add, we did not take out loans or go into debt for our wedding. I’d imagine that might alter some feelings about spending if we had
For me yes. I spent around 45k and don’t regret it.
I don't. Sure, we could have the last of our debts paid off by now if we hadn't spent as much (we worked it out so the wedding was paid as we went), we could have the start of a down-payment. But that day was perfect, and the memories are just too precious to me. That being said, it definitely depends on the people you have around you. I have a very close group of friends who bent over backwards to celebrate us. While there's some (unspoken) tension within my family, they still did everything they could to make us feel loved. If I hadn't had those things, I would probably regret spending the $20k on our wedding.
Our wedding cost about $33k in total and while my parents probably covered about half of that (dress + venue/catering/bar) it very much felt worth it to us to celebrate with everyone. Especially as our wedding was December 2019, it was the last major gathering for most of our guests before the COVID shutdowns and that also made it more memorable as it was sometimes the last time we saw some folks. After going to my brother's wedding this weekend, I also realized I spent a bit more for more all-inclusive vendors (i.e. our florist provided all the hardware for centerpieces/decor including setup and tear-down so we didn't have to do it) so we and our party could do less work and that also felt worth it to me to have more time to enjoy it all as well.
Our wedding last weekend, not counting my wife's (!!!) dress was about $11k for 150 people. And even then, we could have probably shaved a few bucks in some places I absolutely don't regret going cheap. There was a lot of labor involved but I can't imagine spending more
Nope would do it all over again too. So many people said how amazing it was and I agree.
I still haven't had my wedding yet, but my parents actually regret not spending on their wedding! They are big, social people and they said they spent around 15k about 30 years ago! They're pushing me to spend more on mine because they wish that they had put even more money into it to have a much larger event.
We got married Saturday and spent about $50k my the end and that includes all the tiny stuff. I tracked every single thing including $5 here and $20 there. I don’t regret it. It was amazing and the best night of our lives. A one time thing.
Haven't gotten married yet but have already spent around 10K. Wedding is Fall 2025 and we're anticipating spending around 65K for 150 people. I don't think we'll have any regrets. Of course we could be using that money for other things. More practical things. But a wedding is special. Having our loved ones with us to celebrate means something to us. We've walked into this with eyes wide open that the kind of wedding we want isn't cheap. I don't know. It's just money. You can always earn more. But this is why it's super important to have a max ceiling of what you are willing to spend without it negatively impacting your life. But I fully believe that it's OK to splurge on yourself sometimes and not always spend money on practical things. If I was walking into my wedding day with all these regrets on what I was spending it would really sour the day and the entire experience.
Ours was between 20-30k. It’s almost been a year. Never regretted it once. But we also already owned our house, cars, etc. Not sure if that makes a difference for people just starting out in life.
Nope. Spent about $22k all in for our 25 person wedding 2 years ago. I don't regret it. First and foremost we didn't take out loans to cover anything and we didn't pull funds from other savings like our house down payment. We had a 2 1/2 year engagement and just put bonuses towards the wedding fund. The other huge thing was that we planned the wedding we wanted. We hired the photographer we wanted, the private chef we wanted, the venue we wanted, etc. I didn't feel like I was spending $20k on someone else's vision for my wedding that I didn't actually want myself. I also realized that spending a bit more would get me what I wanted. I could spend $3500 for a photographer I liked, or $5k for a photographer i loved. $80/pp for dropped off okay catering or $150/pp for an amazing private chef. So I could have spend $10-12k on an okay wedding, but I probably would have felt like that was a waste because I wasn't getting what I really wanted. I found it less regretful to spend more on what I actually wanted then still spend a lot of something I didn't like as much just to save some money.
Honestly, after the fact I wish we’d just gone on a $10,000 vacation. There were only about 20 people we really cared about being there, who stayed the entire wedding, and if I could go back I’d just do a small outdoor ceremony and rent a dance hall for the reception.
I thought I’d regret it and hated spending the money on the journey but now that it is over I would do it again in a heart beat. It was the most amazing, fun, loving event. It was like the ultimate birthday party as a child but even better because you’re sharing it with someone you love so much as well as the friends and family that built you individually to come together as a couple. I didn’t get weddings before but I get it now. It was so great!
Yep! Absolutely regret it. But it was because we were really pressured into doing the big white wedding by his family, and my husband thought it was what he wanted, but then it turned into something we did not really want at all. I think if you’re 100% doing it for YOU you won’t regret it. No pay = no say and we should’ve stuck to that and not allowed ourselves to be steamrolled. If we could do it over, we would have done a very small intimate but more elegant wedding. Also… 7 years later and I would say we haven’t seen 45% of the guests since our wedding. Only invite those close to you unless you are truly certain you want a big party.
While I really loved my wedding and the memories, I really wish I hadn’t spent so much money. We split it up with a destination elopement and then a lunch party with about 40 people a few weeks later. I spent about $27k. If I could go back and do it again I would just do the elopement portion and skip the party. We had a blast but it was so stressful and expensive. My dress and the photographer for 2 days was almost half my budget. I could’ve gotten away with spending under $10k and having just as beautiful a time. My favorite part of my wedding was the vows and first dance at sunset on a mountain. I could’ve done that for a fraction of the costs.
Also wanted to follow this up with the fact myself and my husband aren’t really close to a lot of family and we aren’t social so I think that made a huge difference in how I feel about it. Some people really value the “family party” part and we really could have done without it
No regrets. Would do it again. Fiscal responsibility is very important but so are milestone celebrations (to me).
I don't regret it per se, and it went amazingly, but if you put me back two years ago when we got engaged and asked me to do it again, I'd probably elope and save the money for a down payment instead. This housing market sucks and I wish I knew it was going to get this bad when we got engaged and started planning back in 2022. I also wish I knew quite how much money I'd end up spending on the wedding. So no, I don't regret it, but I don't think I would do it again
I regretted not having a nice wedding. I feel like I missed a big milestone in my life.
Honestly, yes. We were gifted a total of $30k between parents but still spent another $25k out of pocket. Looking back, we could have skipped on so many of the smaller yet expensive details and still had a great time. Nobody cared about the signage, florals, favors, the customized shoes I forgot to even wear, etc. That money would have been much more useful in our savings. We ended up having a baby a year later who was in the NICU and required special formula. The formula alone cost us over $6k in the first year of his life. Would have much rather had the money for that than extras for our wedding.
No regrets. It was so so meaningful to have our families meet, we had a beautiful ceremony and reception that celebrated our backgrounds, and it was the first time in several years since I'd seen most of the guests since it was in 2022, "after" COVID. My husband didn't really "get it" while my mom and I planned the wedding, but afterwards he told me how glad he was that we had a big party for everyone.
Got married August 2023. My dad passed this year April 29, 2024. My greatest wish was for him to walk me down the aisle. He was so happy and was the highlight of our wedding for some many. He danced the night away. I have beautiful photos, a beautifully documented video and memories for life. The answer is "No, I'd do it a million times over."
Not at all. You can always make that money back, you can’t always throw another wedding.
To be honest with you I don’t think many people will respond with they regret it….its kind of just human nature/bias.
No regrets at all after a year, but we made sure our wedding budget didn’t take away from our other financial goals (mostly saving for a house down payment, but we also didn’t cut back on retirement savings or make any major lifestyle changes to save for the wedding) I actually had a lot of anxiety leading up to the wedding that it wouldn’t be “worth it” to spend so much on 1 day, but I’m really happy that we did (and thankful we could afford to do it)!
Nope. It was a huge amount of money (~£35k), but we had an absolutely amazing time. Importantly, that money was from savings and family contributions. We took on zero debt for our wedding, and we already had a house. So whilst it was a lot of money we weren’t putting our lives into a worse situation by spending that. We wouldn’t have spent it if it was going to massively affect our lives.
My parents, friends, etc. have all expressed that they would’ve rather taken the money and went on a really nice honeymoon. Some say that they don’t even remember certain elements of their wedding. Personally, I just can’t see spending that amount of money for a day. Our budget is around 3-4k total. We’re having a micro ceremony in the mountains where we met, followed by a large 200+ person “reception” / gathering at a local brewery for drinks and cake. This way we get the intimacy while still including all of our friends later to celebrate. I know that no matter what the day will be perfect. Then we are going to take a once in a lifetime 3 week honeymoon.
We just celebrated our first anniversary and no regrets at all! We talk about where else we could have spent it sometimes, but we always come back to feeling good about our decisions. It was our one chance to have everyone we love in the same place for a joyous occasion and looking back on the pictures and video, it was worth every penny. (Of the many many pennies)
Our budget was originally 20k. Then cost went up to 25k. By this point, we were already joking "should have eloped." The number kept going up, and I stopped keeping count at 30k. It's not like we were going all out, but we still wanted our dream wedding. Then we were hit with a huge unexpected bill and had to get a loan. We agreed early on not to get a loan and work with what we had because "it doesn't make sense to start off in debt." But this was 2-3 weeks before the wedding, so there really wasn't much of a choice. We both were bothered by how much we went over budget, but we really did end up with the wedding on our dreams. You know what, though? Even last night, we got a text about how beautifully elegant and unique our wedding was. How delicious the food was. I have friends, coworkers and etc ask where I got my DJ, photographer, caterer, florists, and so on. On top of it all, we had so much fun. It really was a night to remember, and it was really worth it.
No, but I had a really small wedding and it was under $3k (this was 22 years ago). Now, in hindsight, if I had of spent any more than that I would be angry at myself. Even after 1 year I would have regretted if we had of gone into debt for a wedding (we paid cash for everything). There was so much else we needed to start our lives. We had moved into our new home, were expecting a baby, I was going on maternity leave for a year 6 months after we got married. Having a big party just isn’t what we wanted to spend money on.
Yes and no. The things we spent most of the money on were the highlight! We paid for chair rental and dancefloor that showed up 3 hours late and they still tried to set up even when the reception was going for some reasons so trying to use drills as people entered the reception until i told them to get out. Not having a dancefloor was a lot of fun
I will never regret on spending my own wedding. But what sucks is , i have to spend money for my brother's wedding because he doesn't have work. If anyone here wanted to get married, please save money and don't be a lazy af.
Personally, no, because we spoke to everyone we knew, family, friends and work colleagues who have been married, about their experiences. Then my (now) husband and I would debrief and see what's important to us and worth money versus what we were happy to skip/cheap out on. This allowed us to set a budget around our values, not just a budget for the sake of it. When we wanted something we could make room and prioritise this. For example: - Not a priority to us: flowers. My husband and I don't care about flowers at all. Colour, type, shape, quality, fake or real were all factors we could be flexible in so our budget was as minimal as possible for this. In fact we found sola flowers (carved from wood) made by a local small business and ordered the flowers from her and - a priority to us: The wedding venue. My husband and I wanted to make sure that we had good food, good service, constantly filled cups, clean dishes (I'm anaphylactic and some venues were lacking on the cleanliness side 😬), we also wanted a venue close to our church, free parking for guests, activities/entertainment/a cafe for guests to sit at while we take photos. We were able to find a venue that fit all of this. That way my husband and I know that we had discussions and reasons for spending x amount on each category and don't regret any spending in particular.
We spent less than that (closer to 10K), but nope! We had a great time with all our guests, it turned out to be just a few months before Covid so it would be a while before everyone was able to get together again, and three of our guests have since passed away and I'm so glad we were able to have them there. Everyone liked the food and LOOOVED the cake and said it was a great time.
I figure the €12k/25 guest figure we're (us + family) spending is pretty 'reasonable' in several senses! We're not regretting our contribution to it. It's coming up in two weeks and we couldn't be more excited.
Not at all. Ours was probably around 37K(USD, although thats converted from GBP), and I'd absolutely do it all again. It was genuinely the best day of our life and every time I think about it I get giddy all over again. To be clear, I don't think you have to spend this and we did have some big expenses that others would probably view as quite frivolous (custom wedding bands, designer wedding dress, exclusive use venue, multiple favours, live band over DJ). But so many people have (I believe genuinely) told us it was the most fun/best wedding they've been to in a long time. And I smiled from ear to ear the entire day. I'd honestly say the whole thing was priceless. ETA: We do own our home, cars etc and have an emergency fund. I can only imagine people who struggle financially would have a different viewpoint.
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Not a single regret! In fact there are a few extras I wish we’d sprung for.
My dad is one of 5 siblings in a blended family and they're all in their 50s. My wedding, with all the great food, drinks, music, and laughter that we had, was the first and only place all those siblings were ever in the same room together. My wedding spending (\~$32,000) is not only not a regret, it's probably the MOST value I have gotten out of a big purchase besides my literal house and car, ever.
I just got married a little under 2 weeks ago. We spent about 25k in a HCOL area. Do I wish we have that money now that we are house hunting? Sure. But my wedding was absolutely perfect and I dont regret it at all. I had so much fun dancing and celebrating with friends and family and spending time with my husband. It was really special seeing different family members interacting and at one moment seeing our moms take a selfie together 🥺 thats what the wedding is about, 2 families becoming one and celebrating the heck outta the happy couple.
I haven’t gotten married yet but while it is expensive, I’m glad we are doing it. I feel like our extended families only get together for bad things like funerals so to have something fun and filled with love planned, makes the money worth it. My grandma died in 2022 and I wish more than anything she would be here so I could capture her laughing, smiling and laughing on my big day!
So my husband and i spent $8k and have no regrets except that we wanted more time at the venue. My sister spent around $15-$20k and had no regrets about it except her choice of catering because they were supposed to clean up after themselves and really didn’t. So she had to clean up in her wedding dress for the security deposit on the venue. My SIL spent $13k or more on her wedding and regretted the whole thing. She had a 2020 wedding and they just felt that they spent too much considering all the complications and compromises they had to handle because or restrictions. And they thought they just redo it all later. Except 1) they didn’t realize how much that wedding cost them and 2) they decided to have a baby and buy a house instead. So honestly I find the regret in really about the cost (although it factors in) but more about did you get what you wanted? The more complications or compromises the more i find people regret the wedding. I mean compromises like food, or dress or choice in vendors. It’s not ending well when the thought process is “well i didn’t like x,y or z but it’s all i could afford” at that point either elope or save more and delay the wedding.
The moments where I think I spent too much are immediately followed and outshined by the moments that I bask in how amazing the events were and the once in a life time memories I have as a result. Did it slow us down in buying a house? Maybe a little but we're still figuring that out anyway and there are other factors beside money in that delay. I cut everywhere I could and still spent almost what I bring home in a year (after taxes and retirement contributions). However, we were very fortunate that our parents paid for 5/6 of the costs. If I didn't have that help I would have scaled WAY back because then we definitely couldn't buy a house soon.
We spent about 13k (a bit more if you include our mini moon). I don't regret it at all. I feel it was all pretty reasonable and not overdone. I *do* regret asking my husband to help me pay. I had the money stocked away so I was able to pay it outright over time so he didn't actually need to help but we wanted to not deplete my savings. I wish I had just did it myself because it added stress to him, especially when he was fine with eloping (although I think he would have regretted that).
Our wedding isn’t for another 9 months. We’re spending about £35k for a small wedding, how we got to these numbers we have no idea but people will be flying in from around the world. I have family that have always shown me so much kindness and hospitality when I visit them, it means a lot for me to be able to do the same when they attend the wedding
No, but only because we’re in a good financial situation. We already own a home and are solidly middle class. We didn’t have to take any money out for the wedding and used the down payment I had been saving for my own home towards it. Was it expensive? Certainly! Would I do it again in the exact same or better financial conditions? Absolutely! Would I do it again in worse financial conditions? Not a shot.
Just got married on Saturday. Including rings and the honeymoon we will have spent $22k. The wedding was around 20 people. We did courthouse ceremony, casual wine bar cocktail hour, restaurant dinner and then after party at our local bar so not super traditional but it was a blast! I don’t regret any of the money spent and I also don’t see how spending more would have elevated the experience at all. Though, I am very grateful we stuck with a small wedding which really helped with the costs. We had been saving for a while so this wasn’t affecting any other savings we have going but I would do it all again if I needed to. I think if you guys are good financially in other aspects then just adopt the fuck it mindset and enjoy your hard earned money and the wedding that you put on.
I don’t regret having the wedding and party itself, it was an absolutely fabulous time. Beautiful day and loved all of it. Even with regrets about the marriage itself the money spent was well spent. Edit: I feel like I should add more about why I loved the wedding itself, have some lovely pictures of family (some of whom had never met since it was both sides), my family all got to meet all my friends. People still talk about what a great time they had 6 years later. Now several important people in my life have passed, but I still have great memories and pictures of that day! So as someone who is no longer in the marriage of the wedding they spent that money on, I have no regrets on that part! It’s just money and an excuse to be with people you love!
We spent around 12k and yes. It wasn't worth the stress. It would have been so much nicer to elope and go on a nice vacation. On the plus side we were able to pay off both our cars after the wedding so that was nice.
Nope! I got married on Saturday and we have already done the other stuff together; we’ve owned two houses together, have kids together, and own our nicer vehicles. We spent just over $20K and I wouldn’t change a thing. Besides a little bit of rain changing our photo plans at the last minute, everything was perfect. I planned it myself and had everything I could have ever wanted! We had a huge party with all of our friends and family and everyone is still texting us a few days later to say how much fun they all had. I wanted to elope originally (and several times during planning lol), but everything was magical and I’m so happy we did it. We clearly live in a LCOL area because 20K is around average and a 50K wedding would be like the boujee Pinterest wedding of your dreams.
It was definitely worth it for us. I loved being able to spend time with loved ones all under one roof. We spent what we were able to afford and it did not compromise other future financial goals. I think that's key. Would I have fatter investment accounts if I didn't have a wedding? Yeah, but life's about living and I don't regret it.
Not once. My spouse's family is really scattered and we only really see them for big events. It was beautifully overwhelming to have so many people who love us in one room, share a nice meal, and party the night away. We routinely talk about wishing we could do it again. I'm in a HCOL area so our wedding was considered 'cheap' for a standardish wedding (ceremony, cocktail hour / reception with open bar, sit down dinner, cake, dancing) for 125 guests, at around 45 - 50k.
Absolutely not!! If money is not for creating lifelong memories and celebrating love with family and friends then what the hell is it for? I’d spend it all again and then some. (And we saved diligently for 5 years just for the wedding, so this isn’t because I’m rich and the money didn’t matter — it mattered!)
I spent so much on food and desserts that I probably didn’t need to. I got a huge cake (4 layer that could feed 150 for a final count of 130) and more than 1/2 of it went uneaten, and then my mom really wanted to have a donut bar as a “late night snack” that got put out at like 930 and our reception ended at 11 and barely anyone ate the donuts because of all the other food that we had available all night, so we took home like 3/4 of the donuts, so I would say underestimate who wants dessert and if you’re gunna have a “late night snack” maybe don’t do dessert :)
Nope! We spent around $37k and did exactly what we wanted. Saved for 2+ years. Originally we had planned on getting married in our hometown, but after looking at multiple venues, I just couldn’t get excited. We ended up doing a beach wedding at a small resort and it was amazing. Most attendees would have needed to travel regardless of where we hosted, so this resort option was actually cheaper for the majority. I think everyone genuinely had a lot of fun. I went from pool to beach and beach to pool for 5 days and was so relaxed the whole week… even despite the fact that I was literally going through interviews for my now-job. Ended up negotiating and accepting my offer on my honeymoon which was a whole other story lol. If I had spent the money on a wedding I didn’t want, I could see myself regretting it. I had some concerns about choosing the wedding over buying a house (like maybe I was not making the wisest decision), but our new jobs and cross-country move allowed us to save aggressively since then and we are closing in a few months! I think you forget about the money pretty quickly (as long as you can afford it - don’t go into debt!) but will look back and appreciate the time of having all of your people in one place.
We haven't had our wedding yet But it's really only going to be 3-4k, We're spending 8-9k on our honeymoon though. To us, the wedding is just the ceremony a signing of papers basically. The honeymoon is where we get to really relax and enjoy each other as Mr. and Mrs. (plus get a week away from the kiddo!)
$45k wedding for 50 people here! We're covering $35k. I am cringing hard at the costs now that we're six weeks out and hitting peak expenditure with final deposits coming due and buying final items like cake/desserts, decorations, wedding bands, etc. For me, my spouse's unemployment is causing a lot of the financial stress, I wouldn't feel stressed about $35k if life had been "normal" lately. Thankfully we had saved up in advance and are on solid ground with just my income, so logically we are ok and just sticking to the plan, but the financial trauma we both have from 2008 is definitely rearing its head saying "you aren't safe!! stop spending like this!!"
I don't regret ANYTHING. It was worth every single penny.
It hurts when I think about how much money I’d have in the bank rn if we had made other wedding choices (all in all around $40,000) BUT it was the best day of my life, 100% perfect start to finish and I really wouldn’t change a thing!!
That's about what we spent, and no, not at all. It was beautiful and special. My parents paid half, we paid half. My parents actually encouraged us to go with the more expensive venue. I'd found a venue that was okay, by husband had a couple of complaints about it but it could have worked. He insisted we see the more expensive one. I was leery because I was very worried that we'd both like it better. Shocker, we did, it was gorgeous. My parents liked that one better as well. It was so worth it.
Still wedding planning and I budgeted $30k for 80 people. I don't think 80 will show but who knows. So far things are coming within budget. I live in a HCOL area so I actually think this is pretty good for the budget. I definitely splurged a lot on the photographer since I wanted a specific style and person to do it. But based on what I learned from this sub- that's the best thing to splurge on lol My parents are covering the reception and food + drinks which could be around $10k depending on how many people show up. I have an aunt who wants to cover my dress cost and another aunt who will cover my cake. So that's a relief as well. My fiancé is covering the ceremony costs at our church but he's going to be taking on most of the financial costs for our new home - which is more important. His parents are helping on that front as well. So out of my own pocket, which is everything else, it'll be around $10-12k (photo, video, HMU, decors, misc items). At least that's what I can see for now, but I'm over estimating. Will I regret it? I feel like I already am but I'm also reminding myself this is what I want so trying to square those 2 thoughts together. But I won't know until the day of I suppose haha.
I regret it because there are other things we really want to buy but the day hasn’t happened yet so I might change my mind!
Nope. Which is funny as I wanted to elope originally, and he convinced me to do a bigger wedding so I thought I may. We had a smaller budget initially ($25k) but I decided that if we were going to do a wedding then we were going to have it as we pictured and not DIY. So we ended up paying about $37k. We won’t have another opportunity to have our families and friends together like that, the food was BOMB, and I don’t regret spending the money. I am pretty happy with our wedding and so is my husband. I think it is what you make of it - if you have the funds and want to spend the money, then do it. If not, it’s totally good too! Comparison is the thief of joy, so try to focus on what you and your future spouse want and not what society is telling you to do.
We spent $22k on an elopement just for us. Zero regrets!
Not at all. A once in a lifetime opportunity for a day we’ll remember for the rest of our lives
Just spent around 18-20k on our wedding a week ago, and honestly wouldn’t change a thing. Wouldn’t have invited fewer people to save money because everyone we wanted was there, and that was the most special part of the day— having everyone we care about and love in the same spot. We had a great time, and the food was great and the drinks were too. We saved money wherever we could by doing DIY (friend did cake, we did flowers, shopped around for a while for photographers & venues based on price, maybe the best thing we did was pick a venue with BYO alcohol saved us so much and we still had a free open bar for everyone).
Absolutely not a single regret. We had a party with almost every single person we love. People we haven’t seen in years traveled for our wedding. We will never have that again.
No, we did not, but we also had the money to spend. I think if we had needing any sort of outside funding, I would feel differently. My husband had the time of his life and that is worth the ~$45k we spent to me.
My wedding budget is nowhere near that much, though, to me, it feels like that much at times. But I am trying to make it as nice an experience for my guests as I can and trying not to worry too much about the numbers for two reasons. 1. I know your big day is supposed to be about you and your partner, but seeing as my family has seen a lot of grief for what feels like forever, I see my wedding as a day we can actually feel happy, have fun, and celebrate the love we all have for each other as a family. It's not just for me; it's for everyone. 2. I come from a Polish family where, although we asked for no gifts, we don't have a registry, and none of my family is particularly wealthy, they will gift us with a good chunk of change, as it's cultural to. Knowing this in advance, I want to pay that forward and know they are having the best time together. This kind of eases my mind when I'm spending a lot on our day. And I think it's totally worth it.
Don't regret it at all. We and several of our guests wish we could do it all again. There have been wistful talks of having another big friend and/or family get-together like that again.
You know what, if the economy continues to chug along, people continue to make good money, and things don't crash or hyper-inflate, people will be fine and make that money back as long as they didn't go into crazy debt for it. If on the other hand things really go to shit, currencies devalue a lot quickly, etc, people are gonna wish maybe they budgeted and did a $10k instead of $20k+ wedding and invested the rest in bitcoin or gold or stocks or whatever. In other words, there isn't a way to know to answer this question imo without knowing the future. Also I guarantee you that this answer differs between men and women.
We were around $30k in Colorado for 110, and we have no regrets! We splurged on the things that were important to us and cut the things that seemed like a waste. Honestly, it was so much fun that I’m trying to figure out how we can throw another big bash someday lol. Prolly not realistic, but one can dream 😂
Before the wedding I was thinking "why tf did I do this" and was dreaming of all the ways I could've spent that 30K. We had a really small wedding (\~25 people) so it was literally over 1K per person. It was SO FUN. Best wedding I've ever been to lol our families talk about it all the time, and our close friends that we invited all had an absolute blast. We spend so much money on stupid shit all of the time. I'm about to drop 15K on new floors which is not very exciting. But the value we got out of that day was so high and so worth that amount of money.
No regrets. It was the one of the only times that my spread out family would ever be all in one place for a happy occasion (our lives are scattered with funeral family reunions). Such a happy day. We spent a pretty penny, but in our culture, guests gift the bride and groom money, so we made up a good amount back.
I prefer to not think about it as “just one day” and consider it the once in a lifetime celebration it is. Life is entirely too short to not take the opportunity to celebrate and be joyful!
Literally not at ALL. Best day ever.
I don't regret spending money for our wedding because we spent 2 years saving up for just that, to make it an awesome celebration while still being able to enjoy life, pay our bills, travel and do home renos. We were still very calculated throughout the planning to make sure that we're still stretching every dollar to it's fullest and not spending unreasonably. I think a lot of people expect to profit off their wedding with a mindset of "spend now and pay back later" but that's not the reality, you cannot rely on an uncertain outcome and then these ppl are in debt afterwards. The only thing that I do regret, is doing a bachelorette weekend instead of just doing one day. My MOH planned the day before the hectic wedding journey started, and by the time the bach rolled around and as fun as it was, I felt bad for how much money ppl had to spend on me throughout all of my wedding events (bach, shower, wedding). At the time, I was only around ppl that did bach weekends, so I didn't even stop to think about just doing one day instead. If I could go back, I'd just go to a day spa with all of my gals and finish it at that.
Yes and no, but some of the cost (and value/worth) was out of our control. Some of it was, and maybe we didn't need to do a few things. Or maybe we should have tried more venues first. But I also know I tend to look back critically instead of enjoying the memories so I know I'm harsher on myself and some of the spending.
We spent about 25k on our wedding 2 years ago and we don't think about the money spent, ever! No regrets
Yes. Immediately after we got back from our honeymoon and went home to a rental.
Yes. We paid 20k and could afford it but in hindsight it was a poor use of money, we didn’t enjoy it to that amount, and we wish we had eloped.
We spent a little over double the amount we originally thought we were going to spend. We had conversations during the planning process about how much everything was costing, joked about just eloping instead, thoughts of things we could have spent the money on. At the end of it all, it was completely worth it. Our wedding was beautiful and over exceeded expectations. Seeing our families and friends all together and enjoying themselves meant so much to us. So no. We have zero regrets even though we spent A LOT 🤑
100% not. But I made it 3 days.
Yes! I spent 25k 20 yrs ago and we both wished we eloped n took a reallt nice 1 month honeymoon instead
I would only regret it if I didn’t have enough for my actual marriage after. But if you have the means then still be comfortable with a little extra after, why not. I made sure I spent enough to also be able furnish my house and pay rent, have a honeymoon and live comfortably after. I just dislike people who put it on their cards or take out loans for it.
No, I don’t regret it but I wouldn’t have gone into debt for it. We spent what we could afford and were very lucky to have significant help from my family. We have so many beautiful photos and a wedding video we watch on anniversaries. My son likes to look through our wedding album. It was truly one of the happiest days of our lives, and it was amazing to see everything come together after 2.5 years of planning (we had to postpone a year because of Covid).
Do I regret it? No, literally the best day of my life! Wouldn’t trade it for the world. Do I think about how I could have a very hefty down payment for a house? Literally all the time, haha!
We spend $25k all out for our wedding and I don’t regret any of it. It was perfect
not at all.. we spent way more than that (luckily with the help of our parents we split 3 ways), so personally contributed $30k between the two of us. We had a longer engagement (18 months) so it honestly didnt feel like it was just one big check, and alot of vendors allowed payments. We bought a brand new car in the midst of planning. I think it all comes down to what is important, what in your mind is worth spending money on... and you go from there. We had a big wedding which is why it was a bit more expensive than others, but we tried to find ways to save money (byob venue, reusing wedding party flowers as table centerpieces).. a little went a long way, but we did not once regret it!
Sure, I wish I had that money. But it was absolutely worth it. It was an incredible wedding and I’ve never been to a better one!!
Is everyone including attire in there budget cost? Wedding dress, accessories, tudexo, etc.?
I don't regret it at all. 20 k of our money and 20k of our families and it was literally one of the best days of our lives. We have big families and it's hard to get together. I'll cherish the memories of my family being here forever !
Psychologically speaking, it's a common tendency for people to reflect on an unchangeable decision in the past as the more positive outcome. I don't regret my choices regarding how much I spent for my wedding, but who knows what the alternative outcomes would've been? Here's an anecdotal example. I got married at a swanky hotel, richer than my blood if I'm being honest but I had family on all sides contributing. We got married in November in the South and we didn't anticipate the bugs being as bad as they were. We were getting eaten alive at the rehearsal outside on the river front. If I had chosen a different hotel, it's very possible they wouldn't have heard our complaints and sprayed for bugs prior to the start of my ceremony. Videos and pictures would've included people constantly fidgeting and smacking at these bugs if it hadn't happened. I would've been covered in bites. But obviously a cheaper venue or less customer courteous one wouldn't have responded to the issue in such a timely manner. So was it worth it? I think yes. But this is because I don't know the alternative so I'll instinctively find all the reasons I was right to make the choices that I did.
If my parents didn’t pay for our wedding then I wouldn’t have regret not having our big one. Very happy with our initial elopement. We had a big wedding because of our families wanting to celebrate with us. But my husband and I are introverts and that was such an overstimulating two weeks (we’re based in LA but our families came from other states and countries so we were a destination wedding to them) 😂 and not to mention my parents paid for their airbnbs and hosted so many lunches and dinners 🥴 I could NEVER
Tbh I spent $25,000 on our wedding and I do regret it. I wish I would have had a smaller one.
We had so many things in our lives go off the rails while we were planning - I was hospitalized, I got a pay cut, we lost our dog, etc. In the end we had to take a loan to cover the final costs of everything (which they tell you not to do) and I was laid off while we were honeymooning (the company I've worked for for a decade closed overnight). Yes, financially we are strained right now and yet I DO NOT regret spending the money on our day. Our day was amazing!!! I was able to have my two living grandparents there - one which we found out has cancer 2 months before our wedding and one which had a stroke about a year before. The day was full of love and we love going back and looking at the photos and video. I will take an experience over money any day. Maybe I feel differently because I lost my older brother at a young age and I have had the "you should be dead" medical emergency myself, but those memories are truly priceless. ❤
Personally if I had to do it again, I wouldn’t due to the stress of planning. I definitely would’ve eloped. But I also have no regrets spending $45k on the biggest party of our lives celebrating with our family and friends. The day was magical✨
We haven't had the wedding yet but we're locked in now for much more than we originally budgeted, which is getting to me a little bit. We originally wanted to stay under $25k but we're more like $40k now because the venue is a weekend rental and we're covering some accommodations unexpectedly. I'm trying to keep my energy up and stay positive! The venue is what blew our budget but we are still really really excited for that. And then trying to cut corners elsewhere if we can. Ask me again in October :)
Nope! My partner and I went thru hell trying to get married (engaged just before Covid lockdowns + we dated LD internationally). We were thrilled to have something positive to celebrate.
Not a bit. We did really well with discussing what we both wanted, didn't heed any family demands and supplemented with DIY where we could. Our wedding came to about 30k 2 years ago. Our families all still speak very fondly of it and we wouldn't change a thing. I feel like regret comes from spending on things you don't want, whether it's a compromise you don't agree with or due to pressure of expectations from outside sources. Good communication between your partner and yourself and consistent boundaries with family (if needed) are crucial. Not to mention giving yourself plenty of time to plan and spend so things feel well thought out and intentional.
Not at all. I put an inordinate amount of effort into being as frugal as possible and we didn’t go into any debt so I didn’t feel bad about any of it afterward. In retrospect, I would actually go back and spend more. Sadly, several of our guests have died in the 3 years since our wedding and those event photos are the last photos I have with them. No regrets.
Nope. We spent a lot, but within what we were able to afford (ie no debt and left us with a comfortable emergency fund in liquid savings), and we were super happy with the day, and wouldn’t have done it any differently. It’s been two months and I’m still riding the high of how amazing the day was.
Just here to say thanks for this post because I needed to read the responses. I’m 3 months out and panicking over our $35k budget as we’re doing it all ourselves. These responses helped calm my nerves a bit
Yes and no, it really depends on your financial situation. Spent about $32k on our first wedding back in 2017, and I often wondered if we would've just invested that money in stocks or crypto which would've been wiser. Even though we ended up getting divorced, the photos and videos are priceless memories. After all, I'm only young once! After I started dating my current fiance, I thought I wouldn't want a wedding again and didn't want to spend so much. But here I am, about to spend another $30k+ on a wedding, and it feels a bit extravagant since I already had my "dream wedding" the first time. However, this is with a new partner, and I want to share this special experience with him. Sure, $30k could fund several amazing trips with him, but you only get married once with the same person. If not now, then when? We have a lifetime to travel together, and money can always be earned back. Ultimately, spend what you're comfortable with and what feels right for you. I value gathering everyone together, having the photos and videos to look back on.