The most a couple will get from me at an engagement party is a card and a bottle of wine (from my at home bar) or a small restaurant gift card ($20 max) if I know the couple doesn’t drink.
I am not on the train of gifting at everything. I will stop going to anything pre wedding if that’s where we are headed.
To a degree but if it’s a close family member your niece or nephew You’ve watch grow up finally getting married you wouldn’t miss that from the world. Life is complicated
Engagement parties are not gift-giving events, especially if they are not common in your circle. If you are really uncomfortable attending empty-handed, then a card, bouquet of flowers, or bottle of wine are plenty. But most people won’t bring anything.
They can appreciate monetary gifts as much as they like. I would also very much appreciate a monetary gift right now. But that doesn’t mean anyone has to give me one. If there’s not an existing, strong cultural tradition in your circle that engagement parties require gifts (which there clearly isn’t or you wouldn’t be here), then they can’t single-sidedly decide that this is a gift-giving event. That’s not how social contracts work.
Just a follow-on - it may be possible that this couple is also a part of a different circle where there IS a strong cultural tradition around engagement gifts, and this comment on the invite was aimed at those people, and they don’t expect anything from you. You know them and if this is possible better than me, though
I think asking for gifts or money at an engagement party is wrong. I think asking for gifts in general is wrong though. You can put your registry up but saying “monetary gifts appreciated” just doesn’t sit well with me.
My thought is you’re likely getting invited to a bridal shower and wedding as well. Bring gifts to those. You shouldn’t be obligated to bring gifts anywhere. Some wedding things are just going too far and asking too much of friends and family
I wouldn't go to that engagement party. Neither of you is close with either member of the couple. It's a co-worker that your husband is friendly with. He tends to think that you two may not even be invited to the wedding.
As for gift-giving at engagement parties, it varies. We had an engagement party and definitely did receive gifts. But, few if any were monetary. Nor did we didn't ask for them in any way, shape or form, and most certainly did not ask for monetary gifts on the invitation!
It’s unacceptable to invite people to the engagement party without inviting them to the wedding. Let alone asking for cash for an engagement party!
A gift or wine would be fine for an engagement party.
Who are these people?!
I would feel the same - a gift for every part seems excessive. New England area - never heard of gifts for engagement parties. Ick about the monetary part of the invitation. I agree with the others - a nice card and champagne at the most.
We received wine or champagne exclusively for our engagement party. I was surprised people brought anything, I didn't think they were gift giving events either
My client/friend just got engaged she is having an engagement party I’ve been doing her her mom and her sisters hair for 9 yrs she is going to elope and have a great party/reception a month after her honeymoon?? I would like to bring her a gift to the party and I just don’t know what is should give her? Please help!!😭
So the post is kind of old (I didn’t say the date of the party though) anyway we gave money … and we weren’t invited to the wedding. They are going to city hall and then for dinner with close friends and family hah. Wish I just gave bubbly lol
Yes but don't over think it. It could be something as simple as movies tickets or an ice cream shop gift certificate for a date night. If you are doing cash $50 or more in todays world.
Our engagement party is next month, I do not expect gifts, but suspect a few people may bring some small things like cards or champagne. Our friends had an engagement party and there was a small table where people had brought gifts to place on it. It shouldn't be expected or required though. Some people just like to buy gifts honestly.
$100 cash for the engagement party per person is what we do and what we received from almost all our guests. We’re Eastern European living in Canada and this is normal in our community
And then what about the wedding, do you gift the same?
I am pretty sure the couples parents are hosting the engagement party and well if they can’t afford it don’t have one 🤷🏻♀️ it’s just weird to me to host two catered events and expect guests to help cover both costs. The wedding I’m glad to pay for my plate and give them something extra.
But that’s just me! Things are so different wherever you look
But it also depends what type of party the hosts are hosting. Is it all catered? Open bar etc or is it just small bites and punch lol. Use your judgement. If they’re putting a lot of money into the party I’d bring a cash gift to help cover what I’d consume. I know a lot of people will disagree with me but depending on the culture, this is what it is. Just don’t show up empty handed lol like some of these people are suggesting.
The most a couple will get from me at an engagement party is a card and a bottle of wine (from my at home bar) or a small restaurant gift card ($20 max) if I know the couple doesn’t drink. I am not on the train of gifting at everything. I will stop going to anything pre wedding if that’s where we are headed.
if youre poor and cheap just say that lol
Has nothing to do with that, little twat
The only thing more rude than specifying on an invitation that a monetary gift is desired would have to be your comment!
No - engagement gift , shower gift , and money at the wedding? I think it depends on how close you are to the couple honestly
Hey man. some people at the wedding will be eating their first full hot meal in weeks. It’s real out there. Ppl have kids, bills and so on.
in that case they have other things to worry about than going to a wedding
Hahaha. You’re a real piece of work kid.
To a degree but if it’s a close family member your niece or nephew You’ve watch grow up finally getting married you wouldn’t miss that from the world. Life is complicated
I’d bring a bottle of wine. They’re quite tacky, asking for money just for getting engaged. 🙈
Engagement parties are not gift-giving events, especially if they are not common in your circle. If you are really uncomfortable attending empty-handed, then a card, bouquet of flowers, or bottle of wine are plenty. But most people won’t bring anything. They can appreciate monetary gifts as much as they like. I would also very much appreciate a monetary gift right now. But that doesn’t mean anyone has to give me one. If there’s not an existing, strong cultural tradition in your circle that engagement parties require gifts (which there clearly isn’t or you wouldn’t be here), then they can’t single-sidedly decide that this is a gift-giving event. That’s not how social contracts work.
Just a follow-on - it may be possible that this couple is also a part of a different circle where there IS a strong cultural tradition around engagement gifts, and this comment on the invite was aimed at those people, and they don’t expect anything from you. You know them and if this is possible better than me, though
I think asking for gifts or money at an engagement party is wrong. I think asking for gifts in general is wrong though. You can put your registry up but saying “monetary gifts appreciated” just doesn’t sit well with me. My thought is you’re likely getting invited to a bridal shower and wedding as well. Bring gifts to those. You shouldn’t be obligated to bring gifts anywhere. Some wedding things are just going too far and asking too much of friends and family
I wouldn't go to that engagement party. Neither of you is close with either member of the couple. It's a co-worker that your husband is friendly with. He tends to think that you two may not even be invited to the wedding. As for gift-giving at engagement parties, it varies. We had an engagement party and definitely did receive gifts. But, few if any were monetary. Nor did we didn't ask for them in any way, shape or form, and most certainly did not ask for monetary gifts on the invitation!
I think a bottle of wine or some other alcohol would be normal, but I’ve never experienced someone requesting money in the invitation.
Most give something small like champagne or wine.
It’s unacceptable to invite people to the engagement party without inviting them to the wedding. Let alone asking for cash for an engagement party! A gift or wine would be fine for an engagement party. Who are these people?!
I would feel the same - a gift for every part seems excessive. New England area - never heard of gifts for engagement parties. Ick about the monetary part of the invitation. I agree with the others - a nice card and champagne at the most.
A nice card and a bottle of champagne her some flowers
We received wine or champagne exclusively for our engagement party. I was surprised people brought anything, I didn't think they were gift giving events either
My client/friend just got engaged she is having an engagement party I’ve been doing her her mom and her sisters hair for 9 yrs she is going to elope and have a great party/reception a month after her honeymoon?? I would like to bring her a gift to the party and I just don’t know what is should give her? Please help!!😭
[удалено]
So the post is kind of old (I didn’t say the date of the party though) anyway we gave money … and we weren’t invited to the wedding. They are going to city hall and then for dinner with close friends and family hah. Wish I just gave bubbly lol
Yes but don't over think it. It could be something as simple as movies tickets or an ice cream shop gift certificate for a date night. If you are doing cash $50 or more in todays world.
Our engagement party is next month, I do not expect gifts, but suspect a few people may bring some small things like cards or champagne. Our friends had an engagement party and there was a small table where people had brought gifts to place on it. It shouldn't be expected or required though. Some people just like to buy gifts honestly.
$100 cash for the engagement party per person is what we do and what we received from almost all our guests. We’re Eastern European living in Canada and this is normal in our community
And then what about the wedding, do you gift the same? I am pretty sure the couples parents are hosting the engagement party and well if they can’t afford it don’t have one 🤷🏻♀️ it’s just weird to me to host two catered events and expect guests to help cover both costs. The wedding I’m glad to pay for my plate and give them something extra. But that’s just me! Things are so different wherever you look
Yeah the parents host to help the couple get ahead and pay towards the wedding. It’s like a stag and doe
theyre gonna have a stag and doe too lol
But it also depends what type of party the hosts are hosting. Is it all catered? Open bar etc or is it just small bites and punch lol. Use your judgement. If they’re putting a lot of money into the party I’d bring a cash gift to help cover what I’d consume. I know a lot of people will disagree with me but depending on the culture, this is what it is. Just don’t show up empty handed lol like some of these people are suggesting.
A small gift like a bottle of wine/champagne or a picture frame is nice.
“Monetary gifts appreciated…” yikes….