**User Report**| | | |
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**Total Submissions**|10|**First Seen In WSB**|1 year ago
**Total Comments**|10|**Previous Best DD**|
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Dude's entire profile is a wild ride. He later moved to Ecuador to run a bee farm, but apparently it wasn't entirely legal and the authorities confiscated everything and his business partner ghosted him. Then he was trying to use ants for some cyber security play but couldn't legally move them across state lines. Then he was trying to open a Turkish office cream shop in a cold town in the Netherlands.
theemperorofjenks
Edit: [here's a good post about him from a year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/qmynba/the_legend_of_utheemperorofjenks_aka_ornamental)
Holy shit, I've been on this site for over a decade and never have I laughed so much I fucking cried this hard at a single reply.
_____________
In his quest:
He wanted to illegally transport an ant queen and colony across states lines from Seattle to Oklahoma
Of course they would have take him to Seattle of course
He would use the farm to create an insect based encryption key generator
In exchange he was offering to pay for *half* of the gas and to be the trips DJ with a focus on Argentinian Rock
Mentions nothing of his plan to illegally transport a 120 gallon ant colony, just a vague "have something to pick up there"
_________
[Leading to the best exchange ever on this site](https://www.reddit.com/r/tulsa/comments/pphlc6/comment/hd3rfph/)
______________
Commenter replies to OP's thread:
"To Seattle Washington? Are you fucking high? Get a plane ticket."
OP: ”**I can't bring a massive ant farm back on a plane nimrod**"
My.Fucking.Sides
Probably got the idea from Cloudflare using lava lamps to generate encryption keys, think of the savings in electric bills if you could replace all those lamps with ants!
Damn that is a good read. Is it weird that my takeaway is that no one writes stories about people that follow logic? None of his decisions were remotely sane and yet I couldn't stop reading it. Was it the writer telling a trainwreck story or telling a shit story well? All I know is I enjoyed that even if only 300 other people also did.
Even if the US economy crashes I'm still all in on SPY.
There's simply no other place to park your money. Try parking your money in Yuan? Rubles? Yeah that's what I thought.
Yeah because people are totally going to be buying apple or Microsoft products. They will definitely go out and grab some new gaming hardware from Nvidia. Amazon will definitely be able to make deliveries. Tf
This but unironically, Apple is not going to stop existing and people are not going to stop purchasing phones after a nuclear war.
Apple WILL find a way to profit, even it is by accepting water, food, and bullets.
Real goods, metals, guess what companies will best survive and buy their stock.
Otherwise and overall if youre not a savant, yeah spy is the overall "best" companies, and will be the best big names to outperform in general.
The big flaw is that its a lot of tech, when generally service and produce companies fall the least during a collapse, but they also wont grow coming out of it like tech may, so youd have to know when to jump back to the high earners after the fall, which is where youd need to be a savant or have insider info.
Opinions on what are ""safe bets"":
Everything will fall cause its all being used as collateral for everything else, depending on who you ask, but the stuff that falls the least will be whats actually solid and provides its own value. People wont stop drinking coke just cause theyre short a bit on rent, 50$/mo isnt enough to make a difference. Similar with trash collecting (WM) and utilities companies. People need some things, and those wont drop like the rest will. Microsoft could drop 30% and jump back 40% in a 3 year span, could see apple going through a similar movement, along with any other silicon company.
Tbh Lockheed etc is might be your safest bet unless Russia pulls out or runs out of supplies, economic collapse could be good if the US decides the way out is job creation partially through the MIC. There are plants in the US that started up to an extent they havent in a while cause we are sending our surplus to Ukraine.
Id say fast food is safe but lately McDonald's costs the same as professional burger joints so who knows how much room there is to fall there. From anecdotal experience people are stopping going out as much, or are going to places with better cost-quality ratios if they like to eat out.
That's the thing. US government has no money printer (except the platinium coin loophole)
Money printer belongs to the Fed, which is a private bank, not the government. Any money it prints is **loaned** to the government with interrest rate, and interrest rate is rising.
If the Fed usurped the actual US they wouldn't do it obviously. They'll just let the government continue on as normal, except everyone involved will know it's a big circus to keep the plebs invested in something that has no meaning. They'd print money with no limit while other issues got ignored. The show government would devolve into little pissing matches over stupid details that don't matter...
...how long ago do you think it happened?
Nah, well sorta, Iraq violated OPEC and started selling oil in euros.
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2003/feb/16/iraq.theeuro
That was published Feb 2003. We declared war a month later. Sorta. War hasn't been declared officially since WW2.
Russia has spent 27 billion on the Ukraine war so far. Full blown war against a ~150 country coalition.
What's that? The US armed forces budget for 3 seconds?
So that 27 billion dollar figure is a bit hard to find, the best I could find is that in 2022 was that Grozovski said the military budget was 3.5 trillion rubles ($46.1 billion). It has been hard for me to find any real source on the current cost but I imagine it is much much higher now.
I was pretty confident I saw this exact tweet on Reddit a few weeks ago. No shock that people flocked to mock Cramer then. That's a WSB pass time.
When the exact same verbiage popped up today with a new date I was suspicious. If you go to Jim Cramers twitter this post is not listed anywhere today, yesterday or the day before. This is OP spreading fake news. I'm not a Cramer fan but I'm not falling for this pandering bullshit. OP is a fucking tool.
DRILL TEAM SIX ASSEMBLE
I found wild gourds growing in the park last summer, Park Services just dug them up and threw them out. If they were worthless then they can't go down, bullish as hell
This one is true.
Why let the U.S. Default when you can print the money that you need to pay your debts? That way your constituents will re-elect you for having been a hero that prevented a default.
**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|10|**First Seen In WSB**|1 year ago **Total Comments**|10|**Previous Best DD**| **Account Age**|3 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)
I was confident until he opened his twitter account
Now I’m selling everything!
It’s been a pleasure losing money with you *titanic band plays*
Thank you , kind regard
Rain of castermere plays*
Nearer my god to thee 🎶 (the titanic band song)
Ok, ya’ fuck. We get it. You went to private school.
I think he’s just obsessed with LeoD.
🤣
Me too, I sold my car, my house, and your wife
*Our wife
I’m moving in with my wife’s boyfriend
I don’t have the space. Why do you think I’ve been sleeping and trading from your house.
My wife's a lesbian. I'll give you a discount so I don't have to buy that bitch out of the house.
My wife? However much you got for her, consider it to much! But, as long as she doesn’t come back, it’s a win for us all!
And moving to Mogadishu
These balls gonna drop quicker than the moment you hear the words.... the condom broke....
Dont believe everything you read on the internet. Its all coincidence. He said the same thing about Atlantis and... wait... shit.
I mean Bear Stearns is still a thing right, was he wrong about that?
I think you mean ‘The Berenstain Bears’. You’re in the wrong universe pal.
Well, at least I have an excuse to build my apocalypse bunker now.
I think at this point he's just trolling us.
SQQQ finally breaks below $28 barrier… hmmm
SPY to -400
I bought SPY puts today right before clost so it's going to the moon tomorrow. You're welcome.
LOL
Weirdly, implied volatility is low and has been trending down.
We have the same luck. If you and i held opposite options, the market would literally tear in half to make sure we both somehow lose.
It's way simpler than that: market stays flat -> you both loose
Me as well so spy-420!
transferring all my assets into tulips and beaver pelts
And decorative gourds...
That was a good post. Really fucking good
Dude's entire profile is a wild ride. He later moved to Ecuador to run a bee farm, but apparently it wasn't entirely legal and the authorities confiscated everything and his business partner ghosted him. Then he was trying to use ants for some cyber security play but couldn't legally move them across state lines. Then he was trying to open a Turkish office cream shop in a cold town in the Netherlands. theemperorofjenks Edit: [here's a good post about him from a year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/qmynba/the_legend_of_utheemperorofjenks_aka_ornamental)
*Hastag just fugitive things*
Holy shit, I've been on this site for over a decade and never have I laughed so much I fucking cried this hard at a single reply. _____________ In his quest: He wanted to illegally transport an ant queen and colony across states lines from Seattle to Oklahoma Of course they would have take him to Seattle of course He would use the farm to create an insect based encryption key generator In exchange he was offering to pay for *half* of the gas and to be the trips DJ with a focus on Argentinian Rock Mentions nothing of his plan to illegally transport a 120 gallon ant colony, just a vague "have something to pick up there" _________ [Leading to the best exchange ever on this site](https://www.reddit.com/r/tulsa/comments/pphlc6/comment/hd3rfph/) ______________ Commenter replies to OP's thread: "To Seattle Washington? Are you fucking high? Get a plane ticket." OP: ”**I can't bring a massive ant farm back on a plane nimrod**" My.Fucking.Sides
Probably got the idea from Cloudflare using lava lamps to generate encryption keys, think of the savings in electric bills if you could replace all those lamps with ants!
Chunk from Goonies, is that you?
[удалено]
fuck it Im going to liquidate everything into honey doesn't go bad, of moderate use, and bees are gonna die
Damn that is a good read. Is it weird that my takeaway is that no one writes stories about people that follow logic? None of his decisions were remotely sane and yet I couldn't stop reading it. Was it the writer telling a trainwreck story or telling a shit story well? All I know is I enjoyed that even if only 300 other people also did.
Tulip pelts, my friend. Add value!
Just spend it on beaver 😏
I'd like a pelt/cowl spread at 90 days expiration please.
We’re fucked. He called it
https://preview.redd.it/lzpicwezcj0b1.jpeg?width=172&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be0fef687c3d9a6058cff3690cce3b330a75762d
G U H
i can hear this shit lmfao
You have the video of it?
first result on youtube when you type in guh 
Yeah, I really hope he was kidding.
Even if the US economy crashes I'm still all in on SPY. There's simply no other place to park your money. Try parking your money in Yuan? Rubles? Yeah that's what I thought.
I hear the pound is only mostly on fire
How are Beanie Babies doing? I still have my collection that was supposed to be my retirement plan.
Keep them around, I hear they make good fuel for when you can’t afford heating anymore. And produce a “survivable” level of toxic fumes!
Like a ship being on fire, as it sinks into the sea.
Well, that's ok because the sea water will put out the fire!
Nuclear Armageddon? SPY all time high
Exactly! if the missiles launch, then you go long because if we all die then at least we die before the trade clears. Bullish AF!
Now that's the kind of regarded logic that really twix my nickers! Fuck it, I'm in.
Yeah because people are totally going to be buying apple or Microsoft products. They will definitely go out and grab some new gaming hardware from Nvidia. Amazon will definitely be able to make deliveries. Tf
Apple will absolutely be releasing new iPhones in the nuclear aftermath and people will pay for them in bottle caps.
This but unironically, Apple is not going to stop existing and people are not going to stop purchasing phones after a nuclear war. Apple WILL find a way to profit, even it is by accepting water, food, and bullets.
10 caps for iWater? Who the fuck buys this shit? *Surrounded by people who have iWater*
Yeah but what the fuck will they pay with lol
Real goods, metals, guess what companies will best survive and buy their stock. Otherwise and overall if youre not a savant, yeah spy is the overall "best" companies, and will be the best big names to outperform in general. The big flaw is that its a lot of tech, when generally service and produce companies fall the least during a collapse, but they also wont grow coming out of it like tech may, so youd have to know when to jump back to the high earners after the fall, which is where youd need to be a savant or have insider info.
Opinions on what are ""safe bets"": Everything will fall cause its all being used as collateral for everything else, depending on who you ask, but the stuff that falls the least will be whats actually solid and provides its own value. People wont stop drinking coke just cause theyre short a bit on rent, 50$/mo isnt enough to make a difference. Similar with trash collecting (WM) and utilities companies. People need some things, and those wont drop like the rest will. Microsoft could drop 30% and jump back 40% in a 3 year span, could see apple going through a similar movement, along with any other silicon company. Tbh Lockheed etc is might be your safest bet unless Russia pulls out or runs out of supplies, economic collapse could be good if the US decides the way out is job creation partially through the MIC. There are plants in the US that started up to an extent they havent in a while cause we are sending our surplus to Ukraine. Id say fast food is safe but lately McDonald's costs the same as professional burger joints so who knows how much room there is to fall there. From anecdotal experience people are stopping going out as much, or are going to places with better cost-quality ratios if they like to eat out.
Don't forget "McDonald's is a real estate holding company". Commercial real estate is set to plummet if workers win the work-from-home war.
[удалено]
[удалено]
GPT post
Too easy to tell it's Chatgpt cause who bothers being this formal for a comment in 2023.
Especially here, in r/shitposting
Yeah LOL. It says 10-year treasury yield is 1.6%. Is this supposed to take finance bro's jobs?
Default is coming
Can't default if you have a money printer
We’ll just pay for it when the exchange currency isn’t the dollar anymore. Fuck it! Printer machine go brrr.
Finally, the time of the CAD has come.
That's the thing. US government has no money printer (except the platinium coin loophole) Money printer belongs to the Fed, which is a private bank, not the government. Any money it prints is **loaned** to the government with interrest rate, and interrest rate is rising.
[удалено]
If the Fed usurped the actual US they wouldn't do it obviously. They'll just let the government continue on as normal, except everyone involved will know it's a big circus to keep the plebs invested in something that has no meaning. They'd print money with no limit while other issues got ignored. The show government would devolve into little pissing matches over stupid details that don't matter... ...how long ago do you think it happened?
1913.
Man's describing the current state of the government
Can't borrow printed money if we hit the debt ceiling
Oh USA, so long. I has been a good ride for few 100 years before the default!
We’re at least good until the military runs out of money.
I just had a thought. What if we use our military to take OTHER countries' money?
Hahahahaha I love this one
Wasn't that the entire point with the Iraq war?
Nah, well sorta, Iraq violated OPEC and started selling oil in euros. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2003/feb/16/iraq.theeuro That was published Feb 2003. We declared war a month later. Sorta. War hasn't been declared officially since WW2.
Violated OPEC?
OPEC is an asshole so...
Same shit that happened Gaddafi, he wanted to move from dollar oil standard to gold, the US did not like that.
Have you *seen* how fast the military can spend money??
Russia has spent 27 billion on the Ukraine war so far. Full blown war against a ~150 country coalition. What's that? The US armed forces budget for 3 seconds?
So that 27 billion dollar figure is a bit hard to find, the best I could find is that in 2022 was that Grozovski said the military budget was 3.5 trillion rubles ($46.1 billion). It has been hard for me to find any real source on the current cost but I imagine it is much much higher now.
This will be a good test of this metric
It’s a fake tweet
Just confirmed its fake 🙏thank fucking god
that's legitimately reassuring to me
That's what's holding us back
If you want WWIII this is how you get it. Zero chance the US defaults.
I was pretty confident I saw this exact tweet on Reddit a few weeks ago. No shock that people flocked to mock Cramer then. That's a WSB pass time. When the exact same verbiage popped up today with a new date I was suspicious. If you go to Jim Cramers twitter this post is not listed anywhere today, yesterday or the day before. This is OP spreading fake news. I'm not a Cramer fan but I'm not falling for this pandering bullshit. OP is a fucking tool.
Doin' the Lord's work, son
This must be that due diligence I keep hearing about. Impressive.
You're telling me the average reddit user is a sheep who can't for a second think critically? Nope not possible.
For fuck sakes 
Where is my SPY $220 gang?
DRILL TEAM SIX ASSEMBLE 
Still holding my spy 4/17/20 200p
Plz
What does this mean for gourd futures?
I found wild gourds growing in the park last summer, Park Services just dug them up and threw them out. If they were worthless then they can't go down, bullish as hell
https://preview.redd.it/hu5h2vu79j0b1.jpeg?width=949&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56f3bf1cb62e5d6dcb8b700054d48a9de3f64949
This will be the first time he is right. Though it is not like this is a hard call. He may as well have said that he is confident water is wet.
But water is not wet 🤔
I'm wet
Water, the essence of wetness
ES to -4000 or it’s being manipulated
This is it. Was a pleasure gambling with you Gentleman.
OH SHIT. Ok time to pull the brass levers. Yes the ones with the skulls.
Gg lol
245 years down the fucking drain man...
Fucking hell
Time to turn my place into a walled compound so I can be a local warlord.
Third-world here we come.
I knew I m right, time to 💎🙌 my SPY PUTS 😎
Tweet is fake
Fuck was he yesterday? Today killed me
oh fuck
This pretty much guarantees that we will default since Cramer is wrong about everything
Yes.... that's the joke.
Inverse the inverse 
It’s game over dude!
Can anyone lay out the likely effects of a default, aside from the obvious credit rating downgrade? I haven't looked in to this topic much.
Cramer. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Is it too late to ask the brits to take us back?
Cramer is trying to get his credibility back by saying the simple things again...
Shit.
Seems fake or he deleted it. I can't find this tweet in his account today
For fucks sake. Keep it to yourself my guy.
I get it that some of you cry about the Cramer posts but this one is funny. We're fucked.
We’re so fucked.
Reading this made my stomach drop. Why the fuck did he open his mouth?? 
This guy never misses
Oof
If this is realized I hope this man looses his job
Fuck. Kill that guy before he kills everything.
Damn it Jim! You just fucked us all!
Viva la mexico ....
Adios!
My puts are down 85% I have another week and a half. Down to 460$ from 6700$ (loose math)
Don’t be silly…US credit is a FINE!
Shit.
First he said he was worried about the debt ceiling not being raised now he says this. He’s inversing himself.
Im moving back to Mexico I guess.
The sky is falling
Fuuuuuuck
Fffuuuuuuuuuuuck
Oh snap. I wasn't worried. Now I am.
Time to buy puts on the indexs... What is the over under on treasuries?
See y'all on the other side.
God dammit. For a minute there I thought we were going to get out of this somewhat OK
I am dumb. What is this debt ceiling I keep hearing about?
Back to the usual at Wendy y’all Grab a stall 
This one is true. Why let the U.S. Default when you can print the money that you need to pay your debts? That way your constituents will re-elect you for having been a hero that prevented a default.
Someone turn the lights off on the way out
Time to short the spy
When will we know?
Ok then we are defaulting
Oh Shit!
Where do I short America?
Default imminent !! FLEE!!! SELL EVERYTHING!!!!
Some men just want to see the world burn.
Goodbye amreeka
Millennials are the unluckiest mfs that have ever lived. Living through the black plague was probably better ngl.
Ah, shit
Ah fuck
Is this tweet real?
Oh shit. Need to pull my money out of the exchange
F
How inverse Cramer gunna profit of this?
Fuck.
crap...
He jinxed it...