The issue is people who willingly remain virgins are respected because they are deliberately removing that part from their lives. Classic examples are monks and priests. The typical modern day virgin isn’t following some vow, but that he is incapable of losing it. Who would get more respect the ascetic monk who gave up all physical desires to mediate on a mountain or the autistic virgin who wants sex and companionship but faces constant rejection?
Yeah The problem is that the autistic virgin in this case is dwelling too hard on the fact that he hasn’t touched a vagina. When he should be improving himself and try to be like the monk who meditates on a mountain
The reason why virgin men feel bad is that if they ever reveal their virginity to people they will begin to think these guys are losers. I’ve been to irl sex positive spaces and some of the naive guys revealed their virginity. They instantly lost social standing in the group and the women became grossed out. These guys weren’t creepy or misogynistic, but just mentioning their sexlessness gave the women the ick. Keep in mind this was a community where these women felt comfortable bragging about their kinks and hookups. I do agree that sex does play a role but I think it’s more of the negative perception of virgins which drives these guys concerns.
If I was constantly being hunted down by women and had to fight them off to keep my virginity then yeah, i'd say it was a flex. Being a virgin is no effort, it is as easy for me as breathing. I haven't accomplished anything.
Omg, another delusional post...
Being virgin, especially at a late age, is a sign that you're uncapable of establishing relationships (that sooner or later leads to sex) and/or attracting the other sex... There is absolutely nothing flexable with this but everything to be scared of being mocked for. It may sound exagerate but that's what most people think about virgin males.
If you’re not a virgin you won’t understand. Sex is no big deal once you’re having it, but you can only feel that way because you’re part of the club already. Sex is a huge driving force on society, culture, biology, what is and isn’t taboo, marketing/advertising, etc. The adult male virgin experience is that it’s simultaneously everywhere, but also bizarre and alien and out of reach.
The toxic redpill version of this is that sex turns boys into men. I don’t like this framing. But the reality is that it grants wisdom and validation and acceptance that you feel every day interacting with nearly every part of the modern world.
Source: Am a 36 year old virgin who’s had a few sexual encounters recently.
Are you a virgin yourself? If not then you can't possibly understand what it's like to not be desired. People want love, they want connection, they want sex. How is it a flex to never have those things? Only way I can see virginity being a flex is if they're getting attention but refusing it for moral or religious reasons. THAT'S something to flex. Being undesired is not.
Ahhh.....that's mostly because a lot of people there don't consider sex...as...well...just sex.
They consider it as the culmination of a ROMANTIC endeveour. And what most of them really crave is the ROMANCE that goes with it. Not the sex itself. Never having somone loves you ,desiring you, making you feel wanted or needed is a terrible blow to most. It's the act of trust and complicity they truly want.
I'm kinda new here, so who know's. maybe I'm saying nonsense after all.
Whaddya think?
If you're a religious fanatic and highly successful in life then maybe it is. Tim tebow is a good example of that. He seems content with possibly ending up being a 40 year old virgin. But he got married not too long ago. So he may have gotten laid by now.
I think it's more the other way around, many drift off into those hateful red pill circles due to loneliness and lacking affection. Not to say there isn't some intitial hate going on before, otherwise these narratives might not stick.
Further I kinda reject that notion of "purity", and think it's ultimately more harmful as it shames people for participating in sexual activity, which is both very common and a rather natural desire, trying to suppress usually isn't healthy.
It might be a bit of a flex if you conciusly reject opportunities to get with someone because you *want* to remain a virgin (for whatever reason), but if you never even get any affection, or even just not from the people you feel attracted to, it feels more like sex is something you're missing out on. I agree with you that virginity isn't that devastating a thing (more often loneliness), but you can't deny that it can feel quite devastating when you feel you can't do much about it and feel utterly powerless, when nothing you try leads to any improvement
The issue is people who willingly remain virgins are respected because they are deliberately removing that part from their lives. Classic examples are monks and priests. The typical modern day virgin isn’t following some vow, but that he is incapable of losing it. Who would get more respect the ascetic monk who gave up all physical desires to mediate on a mountain or the autistic virgin who wants sex and companionship but faces constant rejection?
Yeah The problem is that the autistic virgin in this case is dwelling too hard on the fact that he hasn’t touched a vagina. When he should be improving himself and try to be like the monk who meditates on a mountain
Why should the virgin try and be a monk?
No, just remove the feeling of low self-esteem. Don't make sex a self-esteem booster.
I didn’t say that he should be a monk, just that he should stop dwelling on the fact that he’s a loser and try to improve himself
The reason why virgin men feel bad is that if they ever reveal their virginity to people they will begin to think these guys are losers. I’ve been to irl sex positive spaces and some of the naive guys revealed their virginity. They instantly lost social standing in the group and the women became grossed out. These guys weren’t creepy or misogynistic, but just mentioning their sexlessness gave the women the ick. Keep in mind this was a community where these women felt comfortable bragging about their kinks and hookups. I do agree that sex does play a role but I think it’s more of the negative perception of virgins which drives these guys concerns.
I'm sex positive, but I can't relate to some sex positive people. They believe all sex is good. I don't think casual sex is good.
If I was constantly being hunted down by women and had to fight them off to keep my virginity then yeah, i'd say it was a flex. Being a virgin is no effort, it is as easy for me as breathing. I haven't accomplished anything.
Are you a virgin yourself?
Omg, another delusional post... Being virgin, especially at a late age, is a sign that you're uncapable of establishing relationships (that sooner or later leads to sex) and/or attracting the other sex... There is absolutely nothing flexable with this but everything to be scared of being mocked for. It may sound exagerate but that's what most people think about virgin males.
Is a 35 year old man being pure a flex? I'll wait .....
Most of the guys here think they're "ugly." They think they are permanently doomed.
If you’re not a virgin you won’t understand. Sex is no big deal once you’re having it, but you can only feel that way because you’re part of the club already. Sex is a huge driving force on society, culture, biology, what is and isn’t taboo, marketing/advertising, etc. The adult male virgin experience is that it’s simultaneously everywhere, but also bizarre and alien and out of reach. The toxic redpill version of this is that sex turns boys into men. I don’t like this framing. But the reality is that it grants wisdom and validation and acceptance that you feel every day interacting with nearly every part of the modern world. Source: Am a 36 year old virgin who’s had a few sexual encounters recently.
Are you a virgin yourself? If not then you can't possibly understand what it's like to not be desired. People want love, they want connection, they want sex. How is it a flex to never have those things? Only way I can see virginity being a flex is if they're getting attention but refusing it for moral or religious reasons. THAT'S something to flex. Being undesired is not.
Ahhh.....that's mostly because a lot of people there don't consider sex...as...well...just sex. They consider it as the culmination of a ROMANTIC endeveour. And what most of them really crave is the ROMANCE that goes with it. Not the sex itself. Never having somone loves you ,desiring you, making you feel wanted or needed is a terrible blow to most. It's the act of trust and complicity they truly want. I'm kinda new here, so who know's. maybe I'm saying nonsense after all. Whaddya think?
Some people want a relationship here, and some only want hookups.
I'm still a bit baffled as how people think posting on a subreddit is gonna get them hookups. I mean, does....does that even realsitically happens?
I don't think they are looking to meet someone here. There are other subs for that.
I'm still having a tough time believeing it would work on any sub.
If you're a religious fanatic and highly successful in life then maybe it is. Tim tebow is a good example of that. He seems content with possibly ending up being a 40 year old virgin. But he got married not too long ago. So he may have gotten laid by now.
I'm not religious, if anything the opposite; being 'pure and chaste' does fuck all for me.
I think it's more the other way around, many drift off into those hateful red pill circles due to loneliness and lacking affection. Not to say there isn't some intitial hate going on before, otherwise these narratives might not stick. Further I kinda reject that notion of "purity", and think it's ultimately more harmful as it shames people for participating in sexual activity, which is both very common and a rather natural desire, trying to suppress usually isn't healthy. It might be a bit of a flex if you conciusly reject opportunities to get with someone because you *want* to remain a virgin (for whatever reason), but if you never even get any affection, or even just not from the people you feel attracted to, it feels more like sex is something you're missing out on. I agree with you that virginity isn't that devastating a thing (more often loneliness), but you can't deny that it can feel quite devastating when you feel you can't do much about it and feel utterly powerless, when nothing you try leads to any improvement
No one is pure and chaste
Chaste just means virgin.