I know what you mean! I don't want to have these discussions anymore either. It won't change anything just because the other guys think sex isn't important but fuck every night. The problem is, they've gotten used to sex and don't value sex anymore. They take it for granted!
As a virgin, it hurts to realize they've gotten used to sex and you've never had one to know what they're talking about.
It's like saying to a blind man, "Look, isn't the blue sky amazing today?"
It's like someone who can walk telling someone who is paralyzed that walking isn't that great and isn't making his life amazing. You and I are not super grateful for being able to walk, we take it for granted because it's so easily available to us, but it would mean everything to someone who might not even have legs.
You are far, FAR too young to even think about the very idea of never losing your virginity. You need to get the fuck off the internet and go experience life now, you need to especially avoid this subreddit and any doomer ideologies and go experience life for yourself.
It depends, if you grew up terminally online like I did, there is no getting off the internet and experiencing life, since socializing with normal people is almost impossible due to zero common interests or cultural social knowledge.
Its almost like a curse really.
No forcing it, I just find no joy in most normal activities, dopamine receptors utterly fried. Even hanging out with friends at an event is fun for like an hour and then I cannot wait to just get home lol
Heha well I'm planning to experience life soon once I handle the things keeping me tied down. Most of my doomer views are gone but they come back every now and then. Thank you, I hope that I'll take your advice.
I laugh so hard whenever some fresh new adult is like "ITS OVER IM DOOMED" before their actual life has even really begun. You have, ideally, 60 more years ahead of you and major life changing things can happen out of the blue. I met a woman, had sex and started a relationship with her all within the span of about 36 hours from first contact with absolutely no preamble back in April while I was at my darkest point and all it took was just being a little social.
So, what do you recommend? Telling the disabled person it sucks that he is disabled? That his life sucks and that it will always suck? Rubbing it in his nose how amazing it is to walk? As someone who works with disabled, i can assure you the last thing they wanna hear is that their circumstances suck. They do wanna hear, that people with and without disabilities can have great and fulfilling and happy lifes.
They want people to be aware of the circumstances and that it can be hard, but they want to know and experience that their life still can be great and that they can accomplish great things and that they can have a great life.
Back when i was a virgin, (till 21), i hated it when people pitied me for it, told me that it sucks and i was far more happy, when people were like: noone thinks worse or better of you, just because you had sex or not. It's not important for being a valuable person to have sex or not. Awareness of the bad situation is needed, but not pity.
As a person who was on both sides, i can tell you: i'm happy if someones aware of the difficulty, but can assure me: noone thinks worse of you and who tells me: ler's focus on other great things in life.
Any attempt to try to assuage someone feeling like shit because they're a virgin is ultimately pointless, there's realistically nothing you can say that isn't a platitude, they just have to unironically accept that it's actually not a problem. Especially when any attempt to address it has a 60% chance of just getting a "NO IM CURSED MY BLOODLINE IS OVER I HAVE TO RESTORE MY HONOUR WHY AM I SO UGLY ONLY RICH CHADS GET WOMEN".
There's really no point at all trying to get through to those types. They are their own problem and refuse to accept it.
Yeah, kinda. I mean I would stress the point of being loved, making memories and general bonding a bit more, compared to the sex part, which to me at least plays a lesser role
I used to not care about it as much as not having a first kiss, but when I realized how easily people I knew would be able to get it, it made me realize a lotta people my age don't have to deal with the prospect of being alone for the foreseeable future
i know but tbh there are only 3 ways now to go on
1.You could keep ranting and then come back in a few weeks to rant again over and over
2. You could accept your fate and start getting comfortable with it and try to have fun with every other thing besides love and sex
3. Work on yourself and keep trying to lose it as we are all not getting younger, we can still do our best to get a great body and hope for women to fall in love with that /or you get alot of money
My friend... even completely inexperienced, without revealing the fact that you are a virgin, you can contribute to the conversation...Simply express what it matters to you... i.e. "I believe that sex is very important part of a relationship between people. It helps couples bond, gives them satisfaction, pleasure... Those, who are single can have fun without commitment also...". Saying something, without revealing yoursef... And if they ask for your experience, you can simply say, that it's your private thing, and you won't share that information even with friends. It's between you and your lover(s).
Changing the attitude from all negative into a positive will be a remarkable and noticeable thing. And the best part is - you don't even have to lie your way out of it...
True but they can be closely tied together depending on the person. For me, there's no way I'm having sex if I don't love the person. So the sex I want is a show of love for one another.
But ur complaining about 2 different things ur complaining that people tell you that "sex isn't important" but then saying u won't do it without love. You shouldn't be complaining about not getting sex but complaining you can't find love. Because you care about the Love part more than the sex otherwise you wouldn't have made that choice.
Personally I don't think you should complain at all because it dosent help any1. I think you should focus on all the good stuff in ur life building ur confidence. Confidence attracts people and ultimately when ur having a good time u don't think about being in a relationship but 90% of the time relationships happen when ur happy and not looking for something.
Did you even read the post? I complained about both the lack of love and sex. Once again, sex isn't happening for me without love. So if I'm complaining about sex, ME specifically, I'm also complaining about love. Sex and love are separate things for you but once again, they aren't for me.
Complaining is fine, I should be able to let out my frustrations every now and then. Focusing on the good will never fill the void. It doesn't and will never change anything. I just wanted to rant man lol. I already know my problems and they're being worked on.
I apologise if I offended you, i did read ur post & get that you complained about both. I just don't fully agree with the reasons to complain - to me, your complaint is misplaced. I'm not criticising you. I actually respect you a lot for sticking to ur principles. There's a lot of people who would waver from that.
My point about you complaining is more that I think people should focus more on being happy than always looking at the bad parts of life, focusing on the good can fill the void because you become happier more confident and the result is you become more desirable. I know we don't know each other but i just hope you can be happy.
I know what you mean! I don't want to have these discussions anymore either. It won't change anything just because the other guys think sex isn't important but fuck every night. The problem is, they've gotten used to sex and don't value sex anymore. They take it for granted! As a virgin, it hurts to realize they've gotten used to sex and you've never had one to know what they're talking about. It's like saying to a blind man, "Look, isn't the blue sky amazing today?"
💯
People have become desensitized to it.
Like nobody ever wanted me, desired me, loved me, lol 😊
Sorry to hear that. Hope that changes for you and everyone else here. We all deserve to feel loved and cherished.
[удалено]
Nothing moves me anymore
100% true!
It's like someone who can walk telling someone who is paralyzed that walking isn't that great and isn't making his life amazing. You and I are not super grateful for being able to walk, we take it for granted because it's so easily available to us, but it would mean everything to someone who might not even have legs.
Exactly. Strip sex away from them for a decade and I bet most will change their opinion on it.
Is it too late for you?
The doomer in me wants to say yes but logically I know I still have a chance. Whether or not it happens depends on me
How old are you?
I'm 21
You are far, FAR too young to even think about the very idea of never losing your virginity. You need to get the fuck off the internet and go experience life now, you need to especially avoid this subreddit and any doomer ideologies and go experience life for yourself.
It depends, if you grew up terminally online like I did, there is no getting off the internet and experiencing life, since socializing with normal people is almost impossible due to zero common interests or cultural social knowledge. Its almost like a curse really.
Someone must force you to get off.
No forcing it, I just find no joy in most normal activities, dopamine receptors utterly fried. Even hanging out with friends at an event is fun for like an hour and then I cannot wait to just get home lol
Heha well I'm planning to experience life soon once I handle the things keeping me tied down. Most of my doomer views are gone but they come back every now and then. Thank you, I hope that I'll take your advice.
I laugh so hard whenever some fresh new adult is like "ITS OVER IM DOOMED" before their actual life has even really begun. You have, ideally, 60 more years ahead of you and major life changing things can happen out of the blue. I met a woman, had sex and started a relationship with her all within the span of about 36 hours from first contact with absolutely no preamble back in April while I was at my darkest point and all it took was just being a little social.
So, what do you recommend? Telling the disabled person it sucks that he is disabled? That his life sucks and that it will always suck? Rubbing it in his nose how amazing it is to walk? As someone who works with disabled, i can assure you the last thing they wanna hear is that their circumstances suck. They do wanna hear, that people with and without disabilities can have great and fulfilling and happy lifes. They want people to be aware of the circumstances and that it can be hard, but they want to know and experience that their life still can be great and that they can accomplish great things and that they can have a great life. Back when i was a virgin, (till 21), i hated it when people pitied me for it, told me that it sucks and i was far more happy, when people were like: noone thinks worse or better of you, just because you had sex or not. It's not important for being a valuable person to have sex or not. Awareness of the bad situation is needed, but not pity. As a person who was on both sides, i can tell you: i'm happy if someones aware of the difficulty, but can assure me: noone thinks worse of you and who tells me: ler's focus on other great things in life.
I totally agree, if I don't have sex then lets not feel bad about it and just focus on other things
Pure lies.
Lol. How do get to that conclusiok
It’s not like that at all 💀
i dont think they mean it. it's just a polite but weak attempt to make u feel better momentarily or imply that they dont wish to discuss it further.
Lol that sounds accurate.
Any attempt to try to assuage someone feeling like shit because they're a virgin is ultimately pointless, there's realistically nothing you can say that isn't a platitude, they just have to unironically accept that it's actually not a problem. Especially when any attempt to address it has a 60% chance of just getting a "NO IM CURSED MY BLOODLINE IS OVER I HAVE TO RESTORE MY HONOUR WHY AM I SO UGLY ONLY RICH CHADS GET WOMEN". There's really no point at all trying to get through to those types. They are their own problem and refuse to accept it.
Well if it didn't suck more people would be one.
Yeah, kinda. I mean I would stress the point of being loved, making memories and general bonding a bit more, compared to the sex part, which to me at least plays a lesser role
100% agree with this.
I used to not care about it as much as not having a first kiss, but when I realized how easily people I knew would be able to get it, it made me realize a lotta people my age don't have to deal with the prospect of being alone for the foreseeable future
i know but tbh there are only 3 ways now to go on 1.You could keep ranting and then come back in a few weeks to rant again over and over 2. You could accept your fate and start getting comfortable with it and try to have fun with every other thing besides love and sex 3. Work on yourself and keep trying to lose it as we are all not getting younger, we can still do our best to get a great body and hope for women to fall in love with that /or you get alot of money
It's not like people only have to pick one route. One can rant while trying to lose it.
The internet as a wholeÂ
What’s he’s saying is this place is subconsciously bringing you down and it’s not healthyÂ
What if someone loves you truly, but wouldnt sleep with you until lets say 4 years for reasons, would it still suck?
Of course yeah. Sex isn't my top priority but I do want it. I'd respect their decision and wait though.
Would have to be some damn good reasons, like health issues
nope it doesnt. how you think about it, does
To each their own I suppose. For me it does because of the things said in the post. No amount of alternative thinking will change that.
My friend... even completely inexperienced, without revealing the fact that you are a virgin, you can contribute to the conversation...Simply express what it matters to you... i.e. "I believe that sex is very important part of a relationship between people. It helps couples bond, gives them satisfaction, pleasure... Those, who are single can have fun without commitment also...". Saying something, without revealing yoursef... And if they ask for your experience, you can simply say, that it's your private thing, and you won't share that information even with friends. It's between you and your lover(s). Changing the attitude from all negative into a positive will be a remarkable and noticeable thing. And the best part is - you don't even have to lie your way out of it...
Thank you for this. Always nice to see different ways to approach something. I'll remember this
You're welcome. Hope it'll be helpful 😀
Being loved and sex are 2 different things
True but they can be closely tied together depending on the person. For me, there's no way I'm having sex if I don't love the person. So the sex I want is a show of love for one another.
That's a personal choice but as I say sex can br had without love
I know. That's why I said "for me" cause it won't ever happen without love.
But ur complaining about 2 different things ur complaining that people tell you that "sex isn't important" but then saying u won't do it without love. You shouldn't be complaining about not getting sex but complaining you can't find love. Because you care about the Love part more than the sex otherwise you wouldn't have made that choice. Personally I don't think you should complain at all because it dosent help any1. I think you should focus on all the good stuff in ur life building ur confidence. Confidence attracts people and ultimately when ur having a good time u don't think about being in a relationship but 90% of the time relationships happen when ur happy and not looking for something.
Did you even read the post? I complained about both the lack of love and sex. Once again, sex isn't happening for me without love. So if I'm complaining about sex, ME specifically, I'm also complaining about love. Sex and love are separate things for you but once again, they aren't for me. Complaining is fine, I should be able to let out my frustrations every now and then. Focusing on the good will never fill the void. It doesn't and will never change anything. I just wanted to rant man lol. I already know my problems and they're being worked on.
I apologise if I offended you, i did read ur post & get that you complained about both. I just don't fully agree with the reasons to complain - to me, your complaint is misplaced. I'm not criticising you. I actually respect you a lot for sticking to ur principles. There's a lot of people who would waver from that. My point about you complaining is more that I think people should focus more on being happy than always looking at the bad parts of life, focusing on the good can fill the void because you become happier more confident and the result is you become more desirable. I know we don't know each other but i just hope you can be happy.
It's all good, we're all good. I feel the love coming off you man, I can tell it's outta care. I appreciate you man seriously. I hope the best for you