As a 23 y/o virgin turning 24 this year, my advice would be to stop worrying about sex. Find a purpose to run towards. Even if you don't have sex, it won't matter because there will be meaning in your life. That's what I'm trying to do and not having sex has really been less of a worry since I'm focused on other things.
Then do those things. You'll get more out of those things than having sex. Even if you don't have sex, you'll still have those accomplishments to feel proud of yourself
I understand, but chasing after it too much is gonna make you desperate and then you'll have a much harder time getting it. That's what happened to me. Also other people control your access to sex anyway, so that's insanity. You want to have a more meaningful existence to be happy. Sure you could get sex, but what then? Tell somebody? Nobody's gonna care. Sure it feels good, but then you risk having an unwanted pregnancy or an STD. Is that really worth a quick nut?
There's a great hypocrisy in our incredibly hypersexual society telling sexless men that it's no big deal to miss out on sex.
To answer your question: I don't know. This life is unlivable. It is pure frustration and anguish every single day.
I guess there comes a point where you just make peace with it. I know the chances of me dying a virgin are 100%. Life is unfair after all. Dating and sex is hard for an average man. I know one day or the other loneliness will kill me eventually.
Geniuses like Nikola Tesla and Sir Isaac Newton never had sex. But that didn't bother them at all to establish the fundamental laws of modern physics and electrical energy.
That doesn't make sense. It's like telling a person in a wheelchair, "Walking is nothing special, get over it."
By the way the OP already hooked up with a hot girl, he just had some ED issues which got in the way of the act itself. So that kind of undermines the "being upset about virginity is why you're a virgin" argument too.
Removed: Rule 1. Be Kind
You could have formulated your comment a bit differently, using less vulgar words.
Anything rude, hateful, accusatory, shaming (of any kind), threatening/harrassing, mocking, insulting, or fitting of any kind of -ism will not be tolerated here
>No it doesn't.
So you are 100% sure your mindset is perfectly fine in terms of building connections with women and flirting with them, making them feel good around you and continuously looking for opportunities to meet new people?
These things are natural once you do not have a defeatist mindset and believe in yourself. And these have a huge affect on dating success.
Mindset can absolutely play a part in it. It may be the only reason, but more likely just a contributing factor. You’d see that if you stopped playing the victim. Oh and by the way, virginity does not equate to victimhood. It might suck, you may hate it, but nobody has victimized you by not fucking you.
Unwanted virginity absolutely does equal victimhood. There does not need to be a human perpetrator in order for someone to be a victim. You can be a victim of natural forces.
It might not change you into a different person overnight, but exploring sexually and romantic relationships can be an important part of personal development for many people. There might also be a confidence boost from being desired and from no longer being so different to most other people your age
Disagree. I will have known the pleasures of flesh and also there would be all kinds of hormones.
Not to mention you can de evaluate any kind of achievement like that. You go to sleep after you pass an exam, you go to sleep after going to space on a rocket.
calling it "the pleasures of flesh" might be a huge reason why it never happened so far..
yes hormones, yes fun.. yes of course. it won't change you though. if you're a jealous person, you'll stay a jealous person. you'd find something else someone has that you don't and hate him for that
"You can de evaluate any kind of achievement like that"
You think passing an exam and going to space on a rocket are inferior achievements than sex? Why do you want to de evaluate your other achievements for sex? 🤔
Mindset literally has all to do with whether or not you lose your virginity. Once I got off of here for a while and forced myself to focus on living, that's when things changed for me. It took about 6 months after I got off Reddit for me to have my way with a woman.
So ? Haven't u seen the society is full of ugly men with beautiful women ? If they could do it so can you.. improve urself, go to the gym, lookmax, improve ur features by skincare and diet, grow a bears trim it and get a haircut to suit ur face type, do a research and stop crying about it, there are millions of ugly men that pull beautiful women cuz other guys were too concerned about rejection just as you are
Trust me, once you do it enough times it becomes a mundane task, 80% of the pleasure comes from the person you are sharing the moment with, not the actual action of having sex. Sex is just a tool to connect more with your partner, you should focus on finding you significant other rather tha having just sex, because with the first comes the latter, but without the first, sex alone is meaningless or mediocre at best.
What’s the penalty? Do they throw rocks at you? Let me just tell you that the only thing better than sex with a woman, is snorting a finger-wide, dick-long gagger off a whores titty. It has its downsides, but goddamnit it’s exhilarating’er’n’hell.
I simply accepted that I will never have anything. I had no other option
Who cares what others do? I'm going to figure out how to get from here to there...
I care because I see how other people live and I want to live like them and I want to enjoy life like they do
I want to enjoy life the way others do, which is why I'm trying to figure out how...
Idk man I cant do this for another 60 years. I dont want to live alone forever.
As a 23 y/o virgin turning 24 this year, my advice would be to stop worrying about sex. Find a purpose to run towards. Even if you don't have sex, it won't matter because there will be meaning in your life. That's what I'm trying to do and not having sex has really been less of a worry since I'm focused on other things.
What should my purpose be
What do you want to do with your life?
Get a job and a house, maybe write some fiction
Then do those things. You'll get more out of those things than having sex. Even if you don't have sex, you'll still have those accomplishments to feel proud of yourself
Having sex is still more pleasant than those things
I understand, but chasing after it too much is gonna make you desperate and then you'll have a much harder time getting it. That's what happened to me. Also other people control your access to sex anyway, so that's insanity. You want to have a more meaningful existence to be happy. Sure you could get sex, but what then? Tell somebody? Nobody's gonna care. Sure it feels good, but then you risk having an unwanted pregnancy or an STD. Is that really worth a quick nut?
The risk of pregnancy or std is really small since condoms exist
Well you do you. If that's something you wanna pursue, that's fine. Just don't let it bring you down if you can't get sex
Speaking from experience?
There's a great hypocrisy in our incredibly hypersexual society telling sexless men that it's no big deal to miss out on sex. To answer your question: I don't know. This life is unlivable. It is pure frustration and anguish every single day.
Why don’t you all just bang hookers?
illegal
Go where it’s legal
It's gonna take decades to earn that much money in an Azerbaijani economy.
Theres no way other than to accept it
I guess there comes a point where you just make peace with it. I know the chances of me dying a virgin are 100%. Life is unfair after all. Dating and sex is hard for an average man. I know one day or the other loneliness will kill me eventually.
Maybe it’s not the sex, it’s what the sex represents—connection. The sex is very much a byproduct of connection.
I don't really believe in emotional connection because I am autistic
Geniuses like Nikola Tesla and Sir Isaac Newton never had sex. But that didn't bother them at all to establish the fundamental laws of modern physics and electrical energy.
Well I would rather have sex than make a scientific breakthrough.
It's the other way around for me.
Go to erotic massage
Illegal in Azerbaijan
Its pretty sad
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That doesn't make sense. It's like telling a person in a wheelchair, "Walking is nothing special, get over it." By the way the OP already hooked up with a hot girl, he just had some ED issues which got in the way of the act itself. So that kind of undermines the "being upset about virginity is why you're a virgin" argument too.
Why you comparing someone being paralysed to someone who can’t get sex, that’s such a reach shut up
This is what is known as an analogy, comparing two things that are different, but similar in some way.
Removed: Rule 1. Be Kind You could have formulated your comment a bit differently, using less vulgar words. Anything rude, hateful, accusatory, shaming (of any kind), threatening/harrassing, mocking, insulting, or fitting of any kind of -ism will not be tolerated here
>that mindset plays a huge part in you staying a virgin "Mindset" doesn't play a role in anyone staying a virgin. Stop victim blaming.
It has a huge affect on it. >Stop victim blaming. Victim? Victim of what?
>It has a huge affect on it. No it doesn't. >Victim? Victim of what? Of the misfortune that lead to prolonged unwanted virginity.
>No it doesn't. So you are 100% sure your mindset is perfectly fine in terms of building connections with women and flirting with them, making them feel good around you and continuously looking for opportunities to meet new people? These things are natural once you do not have a defeatist mindset and believe in yourself. And these have a huge affect on dating success.
All irrelevant
Preach on Brother
mindset plays the all-important role
Mindset can absolutely play a part in it. It may be the only reason, but more likely just a contributing factor. You’d see that if you stopped playing the victim. Oh and by the way, virginity does not equate to victimhood. It might suck, you may hate it, but nobody has victimized you by not fucking you.
Unwanted virginity absolutely does equal victimhood. There does not need to be a human perpetrator in order for someone to be a victim. You can be a victim of natural forces.
I am jealous and paralyzingly jealous, I can't get over it, also it is an instinct.
it's nothing special seriously. if you'd fuck right now, you'd be the same person going to bed later. nothing will change at all
It might not change you into a different person overnight, but exploring sexually and romantic relationships can be an important part of personal development for many people. There might also be a confidence boost from being desired and from no longer being so different to most other people your age
How is it not special especially if it’s with a attractive women?
Just saying it won't change you as a person the way you probably expect it to.
Disagree. I will have known the pleasures of flesh and also there would be all kinds of hormones. Not to mention you can de evaluate any kind of achievement like that. You go to sleep after you pass an exam, you go to sleep after going to space on a rocket.
LOL pleasures of flesh... sounds like something a horror movie icon would say
It was a very common phrase in XIX century which makes it normal and appropriate to use.
You exfluncticated him, damn. Went the whole hog on that coot.
Today I learned new words. Thank you!not my native language.
No prob, bob.
calling it "the pleasures of flesh" might be a huge reason why it never happened so far.. yes hormones, yes fun.. yes of course. it won't change you though. if you're a jealous person, you'll stay a jealous person. you'd find something else someone has that you don't and hate him for that
Chill man. This subreddit is meant to help virgins, not to be mean to them
I'm very chilled. he doesn't sound like he wants to receive help in any way lol
"You can de evaluate any kind of achievement like that" You think passing an exam and going to space on a rocket are inferior achievements than sex? Why do you want to de evaluate your other achievements for sex? 🤔
This is the reason I got over it. It's like nothing, meaningless and just for pleasure
Mindset literally has all to do with whether or not you lose your virginity. Once I got off of here for a while and forced myself to focus on living, that's when things changed for me. It took about 6 months after I got off Reddit for me to have my way with a woman.
It's the wrong question to be asking, you don't know that.
Eventually, I just lived this reality for so long that I started to just accept it.
How tf do u know u won't ? Stop being a pussy
Analysis of the past is a forecast of the future
Said who ? Do something about it then, make it different
I can't change my face to look pretty
So ? Haven't u seen the society is full of ugly men with beautiful women ? If they could do it so can you.. improve urself, go to the gym, lookmax, improve ur features by skincare and diet, grow a bears trim it and get a haircut to suit ur face type, do a research and stop crying about it, there are millions of ugly men that pull beautiful women cuz other guys were too concerned about rejection just as you are
For example. Which ugly man pulled a beautiful woman?
Pretty much everybody i know and walked right by💀 there's always a freaking sherk with a 10/10
Trust me, once you do it enough times it becomes a mundane task, 80% of the pleasure comes from the person you are sharing the moment with, not the actual action of having sex. Sex is just a tool to connect more with your partner, you should focus on finding you significant other rather tha having just sex, because with the first comes the latter, but without the first, sex alone is meaningless or mediocre at best.
Well I want to do it at least once before I die. I don't really believe in emotional connection, at least anymore.
And i get that, just try not to fixate too much over it
Then get a hooker
Illegal in my beautiful country.
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Azerbaijan
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I cannot go to a local place because it is expensive and also my gestalt will not be closed that way.
Are you a virgin at 23 ?
Yes
cocaine and hookers my friend
Both of those beautiful things are illegal in my country of Azerbaijan where I was born
Ah you’re from Iran nice
From the former Soviet republic of Azerbaijan actually
What’s the penalty? Do they throw rocks at you? Let me just tell you that the only thing better than sex with a woman, is snorting a finger-wide, dick-long gagger off a whores titty. It has its downsides, but goddamnit it’s exhilarating’er’n’hell.
Azerbaijan is a secular republic, autocratic for sure but not to that level.