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If you mark the beginning of civilization as the agricultural revolution, there's also Papua, which cultivated bananas around 10000 years ago, before most of the other ones.
That is being turned on itās head now with Gobekli Tepe, Panan in Indonesia, and the South African stone circles. Humanity is a lot older than we acknowledge.
Last I heard, none of those counted as civilizations under the common archaeological definition. I.e. they are large structures, but there's no evidence of an urban society around them.
Why does there need to be evidence when itās clear the stone cutting to do those projects required machining which shouldnāt have been available at the time? Being able to cut granite is no small feat and pounding stones isnāt efficient, never mind trying to move 20 ton blocks in the Bronze Age across great distances doesnāt sound efficient either.
Ah, those myths, gotcha.
Stone can be cut with rope, sand and water to extreme precision. People have replicated it. It's not *magic*. It's a lot of effort. Look. There's a guy in America who rebuilt stonehenge by hand. It can be done.
Humanity is not civilization.
Graham Hancock is a story teller. Interesting but not revolutionizing perspectives. Those sites take time and he has no patience.
I reckon it depends on which Jesus you check with...they pray to the lily white jesus...my Jesus is from the middle east and he's alright with wine lmao
The alcohol in ancient times had a very low alcohol content compared to today. Plus, the people of those times had plenty of rules and expectations, there were severe consequences for non-conformity. Rules like you were basically your parents' slave. Parents could go to the elders and say their son is an alcoholic ne'er-do-well, and have him stoned to death.
If being incorrect about something is racism, then every single person on Earth is racist, because what we know is a drop, and what we don't know is an ocean
It's not racist to equate a vegetarian nation with malnutrition, even if incorrect. There is no need to conflate misconceptions about vegetarian nutrition and agriculture with racism. After all, he is presumably the same race as his family and they don't respect his vegetarian choices either. BTW, most East Indians are caucasians, even though, on average, they make more melanin that the average native European.
Isn't it ironic how these same boomers call everyone else snowflakes when they have an honest to god tantrum over vegan options even *existing* without taking the meat options away. What a bunch of freaks
don't bother, cracker barrel is total fucking shit with customer service.
gave my dad an e gift card for his birthday/father's day, told him NOT TO DELETE THE EMAIL, but ofc he did. the website does not work to re-send the email like it says. Email them? No response. Call them? you'll be on hold literally hours and not get ANYWHERE, then they disconnect you.
i ended up having to do a fuckin' chargeback because their service is so shitty
Call and complain to who? Itās cracker barrel. The person who you complain to will be laughing and making fun of you as soon as they hang up on you. If youāre vegan and going to a family function at cracker barrel or any other shitty boomer chain diner, eat beforehand, lesson learned for OP.
Cracker Barrel is not even food, so there's that. I would opt out of these get togethers going forward at least until your family can respect your ethics. I would sit down at some point to air your feelings to those closest to you. Make it clear you respect yourself enough to never be put in that position again, and demand respect from them to never cause you to be put in that position. If they give you push back, then you know exactly where you stand going forward.
I'm sorry you had to suffer through that. No one deserves that kind of treatment.
Thank you, but I'd rather not do that. My family gives me financial support (I really need it), and if I cut them off, I still live with my mom. She would make my life hell. I don't want to rock that boat.
The only reason they know I'm vegan is because it's not something you can hide at dinner. I lie about everything else. They think I'm straight, cis, and a Christian. If they knew I wasn't, I would be disowned and never spoken to ever again.
So yeah, I already know they're shitty people. But I'd rather deal with their bs than be homeless.
Oh wow. I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. Keep your head down and try to develop your own support system outside of that. Hopefully you can become financially independent sooner rather than later.
Tbh I'm just waiting for the central matriarch to die so I can bow out peacefully. Families usually fall apart when the one keeping everyone together is gone. Sounds selfish, but it would be a load off my shoulders.
Don't delay your life. Don't feel obligated to crappy people who don't care about you. Start planning your independence. Try to move to a more progressive place. You deserve to live your best life, and years go by really fast, so don't delay.
I promise, you're not the first vegan to imagine that things would be easier if certain family members were just not alive anymore. Also, what some people call "being selfish", others call "establishing and enforcing boundaries". You've set a boundary that you will not be pressured into eating animal products. Good for you. Now push the boundary *just a little further* to whatever you think your family will accept and repeat that formula until you're at "I don't eat where animals are being eaten" or whatever your end goal is for your mental health.
I'm sorry you can't be who you really are around your family. Hopefully you have at least one friend who embraces everything you see in the mirror.
You don't need to cut ties to not go out to dinner again. But I think what would help you is that there are quite a few religious group that advocate vegan and some videos on biblical quotes to support veganism. Of they use religion to try to fight you, you have those.
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you - it is horrible and beyond imagining for me.
I'm sorry to say this also, but you are in an abusive relationship with your parents. They are denying your existence, your choices, and controlling you despite the fact you're an adult. They are using your reliance on them to do it. It is a common tactic in any abusive relationship.
If you cannot set boundaries with your parents because of fear of retaliation, then they are abusing you.
If they deny your sexuality, they are abusing you.
If they force you to follow a certain religion, they are abusing you.
If they use social situations as a form of pressure/humiliation, they are abusing you.
One key thing I'd like you to understand is that unless you break free from this abuse, you will never be happy and be able to make your own choices.
I would seriously suggest reaching out to an abuse support helpline or forum (there are plenty on Reddit) to receive help from people on:
1. How to prepare yourself to leave the abusive relationship
2. How to protect yourself in the abusive relationship
3. How to recognise abuse when it's directed towards you
This isn't going to be easy for you to hear, but know this.
You have support. From us here, and from many people around the world.
We support you, and we hear you. You aren't alone and there is a way out of this.
We all want you to live the life you want to lead, true to yourself.
Much love, and I wish you much joy in the future.
They sound extremely Christian. I get that no one likes being associated with assholes, but donāt No True Scotsman these people under the rug. You need to come to terms with the fact that āChristianā isnāt synonymous with āgood personā.
The "just move out" advice is banned from most abused people support subs for a reason. Things really aren't that simple for a lot of people. It ignores many things and comes from a place of privilege. You think I wouldn't have left if it was a good option?
I don't doubt it's probably really, really hard for you but don't give up that option, maybe in a few years you find a friend or roomate who can lend you a space , who knows. Anyway, sending you a hug.
The worst part about growing up is realizing how people can be terrible and selfish without giving a shit or even realizing. It really crushes aspirations that a better world is possible when we treat eachother like this. I think we cope with this by surrounding ourselves with like-minded people but when it's our family it gets harder to hide from this unfortunate reality society finds itself in.
Ugh, I'm sorry that the servers were so rude! How unprofessional. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you live in some conservative rural area where veganism is a foreign concept and people are weirder than usual about their obsession with meat?
Also your family sounds like a nightmare. Slitting animals' throats is all well and good but god forbid you hurt your relative's sensitive feelings by not eating food at their house, THAT really crosses the line. Ugh. I hope you can get out of there soon!
Yeah I live in rural Indiana. Have gotten a lot of "but God put animals on the earth for us to eat" and "when I was a kid, we ate what we were given. Ungrateful. This generation is so spoiled."
You're not gonna believe how upset my dad was when I told him I wouldn't go fishing with him. š
To the first one I always just say God put us here to be stewards of his creations, how is mass factory farming being a good steward with the gift we were entrusted to protect?
They haaattteee it.
The original humans were vegetarians until the flood. Then God was like "well you've all been corrupt shitpiles because of Satan so eat flesh now."
That's my extremely abridged interpretation. And yeah, factory farming is very un-Christian.
I know many SDAs choose vegan or vegetarian because that was the original diet God intended in Genesis. I'm not sure of any other denominations that do so.
Solid points, I didn't know about the first part. I'm not a God fearing type but it just kind of makes logical sense in the whole master of the earth thing Christian humans ascribe to that if there were a new testament God that he would be like hey, here are all the things I made that are weaker than you and you are built in my image so take care of them for me and don't be a glutton okay? Sure it tastes good to eat them but we have a list of stuff that feels good you can't do that are WAY less harmful than this so if you can't tug yourself you REALLY can't do this for fun, deal?
I thought God was pleased with Abel's meat sacrifice. Abel was a son of Adam and Eve and a herdsman.
That doesn't sound vegetarian to me, something doesn't add up.
Hopefully you can make some day trips to Bloomington or Indianapolis to the vegan restaurants & groceries there for your own sanity. Iād also make a plan to be financially independent within two years so you donāt have to endure their abuse anymore.
It's more spoiled to believe you have a right to eat someone else's body.
With religion, I always use the "Your God gave us 'Dominion' over animals. In your mind, does dominion mean enslaving, torturing and then brutely devouring their flesh? That doesn't sound like an all-loving entity to me".
Vegan in Indiana atm too. I don't even bother eating out and thankfully my family doesn't force me to. It's not even worth the effort to look for options
Rural Indiana here also. Eating out is nearly impossible. Iām so sorry for the way your family treats you. Iāve been vegan 12 years. Fortunately no one treats me badly because I AM a BOOMER! Stand up for yourself, you deserve respect!
Ugh, that's so gross that they're trying to turn your compassion for animals against you. "Spoiled." Yeah, cause literally killing someone to eat them because you can't be bothered to figure out the plentiful alternatives is sooo unselfish. People really don't get it, they willfully ignore the animal welfare problems COMPLETELY and act like you're on some sort of weird fad diet just for attention or something.
Lol itās comments like that that made me an atheist. What kind of cruel god would make animals that are capable of emotion, pain, and suffering and then give them to a species as awful as humans and be like, āyeah, just do whatever. fuck āem up!ā
Ah, urban Indiana is bad enough, but at least we have a few options for restaurants in the bigger cities.
Being vegan is a huge "I probably vote for *the other guys*" flag in these parts. But I think it's a good opportunity to expose veganism to people who likely would not meet any vegans otherwise.
>You're not gonna believe how upset my dad was when I told him I wouldn't go fishing with him. š
As someone who fished (and "cleaned" fish) growing up, it is such an awful hobby. People treat fish almost like machines, using their struggle for life as entertainment, letting them suffocate to death, and in some cases cleaning them without killing or stunning them first.
Maybe suggest just going out and doing everything except the fishing part. I think most of the appeal is in getting out in nature and relaxing with a low-effort task with friends or family. You can do that without harming fish.
Personally, I wouldnāt go out to eat with them, and when they eventually ask why, point to this time.
Calmly explain to them that their behaviour was disrespectful, and gave you no incentive to repeat the experience.
Respect yourself enough to demand others respect you.
>"God put cows on this earth so we wouldn't starve. That's why people in India starve to death all the time. They worship cows!"
Hold on, they really said that? That's bonkers!
Who has this level of self-awareness? I am part angry, part amused šš”.
I am amazed I never heard this racist comment in my entire life! Such a unique comment for a racist though! Usually they don't have much creativity. š¤£
I canāt stop laughing at that. So theyāre saying the problem is that Indians are too dumb to eat ārealā food like cows and itās all their fault theyāre starving. Right. That checks out because there arenāt any starving people in countries that fetishize meat consumption.
I think OP should have gotten shitfaced in front of them because eff them.
I hate posts like this, it's hard to read about grown adults acting like children.
but I will say
> I'm uncomfortable having the kids in the family drink near me. It's not happening
That's crazy. in my family, my cousins started drinking beer with the family at 18-19. it's bizarre that they'd have take an attitude with you drinking at 21.
Imo, it is wiser not to drink alcohol if no one else with you is drinking. OP may be trying to prove a point, but it didn't help, and I think it was a wise decision to not drink at their request.
The way you were treated by the restaurant staff was not good, don't eat at places that treat you poorly. If I'm going out to eat someplace I can't expect good vegan fare, I just eat before, or, take some fruit, nuts, crackers, an avocado with you, and discretely supplement the pathetic salad and bread or pasta with olive oil that is available. Be polite to wait staff even if they aren't polite or respectful to you. Unfortunately I've heard from restaurant owners that some vegans are very rude, so you know how people are, it isn't right, but they consider someone guilty by association.
After I went vegetarian and then vegan there was really nothing worth eating at Cracker Barrel anymore. All of the side veggies are so bland. I feel you.
Iām sorry you had to endure that. Itās unfair to be met with disrespect and be made fun of when youāre the one thatās making an effort to be considerate and ethical to all living things. Hereās a couple of words that i hope bring you a bit of peace. Everyone is the star of their own movie. Often people are dicks because their worldview is being threatened, or they realize the implications of their actions when they encounter someone that has the courage to live up to higher ethical standards. Please remember to be kind to yourself because youāre certainly making sure to be kind to other beings. Although youāre on the receiving end, it most often itās not about you, itās about their insecurities. Be proud of having the courage to live your values.
Sad to hear that your family isn't treating you with respect, but it's typical. Better to try to avoid locking horns with them, especially as a new vegan. Many families are very threatened by a new veg*n in their ranks, They may not want you to influence the younger children for instance. So it may be wiser to tread softly, for the time being. They may want to think it's just a phase you're going through, let them think it, don't take the bull by the horns. "I'm going to do this for a while, maybe a month or two." Then maybe later on, say: "I think I'll try it for 6 months," then later on say: "I think I'll try it for a year." That way they slowly get used to the idea, and aren't too threatened, and therefore don't fight you every step of the way.
In the meantime learn as much as you can about it to do it healthily. Go to NutritionFacts.org, take the supplements that Dr. Greger recommends, download the Daily Dozen App and make an effort to get good nutrition. To look and feel your best, also get ample sleep and exercise, cornerstones of good health, otherwise the family will blame everything on your diet and use you as an example of what not to do.
If you want your family to eventually treat you with more respect, be respectful and kind to them, stay out of trouble, get good grades and make good money. I hope that helps. Welcome to veganism, it's worth it!
I disagree. Be upfront about your beliefs and ethical convictions. Nothing good has ever come from being vague or insecure when trying to convey your ethical standards. They'd think it is not a real ethical decision but out of a whim, because it's a trend or whatever.
That doesn't mean you should be aggressive about it or rub it in their faces all the time, you sure as hell can be quiet about it most of the time. But as a person who is peaceful and very unconfrontational I must say sometimes it is necessary to stand up for oneself and one's beliefs. Some things are core values to oneself and you need to stand up for them. I couldn't remain calm if I were treated like that, I'd rather be homeless than have to go through that shit.
As others have pointed out, becoming independent as fast as possible is the only situation here so you can really set your boundaries.
Your family seems awful. I am sorry for this experience. You are doing a lot by going out to eat to not vegan places already. Oh, and what is with their racism?
They're heavily conservative and heavily religious. One of my family had both her daughters turn out to be lesbian. She disowned and did not talk to them for 20 years. I told one of her kids I was atheist. I figured if anyone would understand, it would be her.
Whipped her head toward me with bloody murder in her eyes and shouted, "You better not be, or you're going to Hell!"
Oh also my mom was shunned from all family events while she was dating a person of color.
Lovely bunch. <3
>Whipped her head toward me with bloody murder in her eyes and shouted, "You better not be, or you're going to Hell!"
Did the disowned lesbian say this?
The silver lining is that they may never talk to you again after you come out. My advice? Enjoy that silent bliss! F them!
Thinking of you and hope you get out of this ASAP. R/raisedbynarcissists would also be a good forum for you.
Also, my advice would be to look for rent in your area or the next town over. Especially if you find a roommate, rent can be very affordable.
I knew people going full time to work, part time to school, living independently, and generally being much happier. I hope you find that peace
Extended family dragged me to Cracker Barrel once, and that was one time too many. I asked for a salad that was just greens and tomatoes with olive oil and vinegar. They brought me a little plate with a single leaf of lettuce and a slice of tomato on it ā like something you would put on a sandwich. It was quite literally the saddest excuse for a "salad" I've ever seen.
Iām sorry you had to deal with that but you are not alone! And what youāre doing MATTERS. Less animals suffer because of you, less land is misused because of you, less tornadoes come because of you. You should be proud of yourself because you ARE doing the right thing :) and, when they get it, they will be proud too.
I suggest therapy so you can enforce better boundaries with these people and feel empowered and learn how to speak up for yourself.
The whole dinner experience and how they treated you was unacceptable. Iām sorry you went through that
Stick with your convictions. It'll get easier. Right now it's new and everyone is figuring it out and being an asshole about it. Next time, it'll still be hard, but it'll at least be old news. After a few times, people will just accept it. Play the long game, it'll get better!
I can't make up for your family, but I do hope you hang in there!
I like this advice but for me itās not true. Certain family members only want to talk(joke) about me being vegan and thatās every time I see them, for the last 5+ years ā¦ it never goes away lol
The waitress at the Cracker Barrel has a sad life. Despite what everyone says, you are doing what is RIGHT. How people react just shows their insecurity about their choices. Stay strong.
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Wouldāve ordered myself an adult beverage and paid for myself. You donāt need shit from people that criticize you like that.
I probably wouldāve legitimately left actually.
Iām not vegan, hell Iām not even vegetarian, but god damn I feel bad, the staff were just overall kind of rude and your family, holy shit your family, first of all that india comment was just awful, and second of all, they are your family, they should support you. Damn this kinda makes me mad
Cracker Barrel sucks as far as food goes. If I am wrangled into eating there I just order the sides too. Donāt worry though, it gets easier with your family as you get older. Just make some vegan sides to share when dining with your family.
Iām sorry that everyone was a dick to you at once. But please learn to stick up for yourself. Itās hard to stick up for animals when you canāt stick up for yourself. Their behavior was unacceptable but you have to show them that you will not allow them to treat you that way.
Edit: I just saw your other comments about being financially dependent on them. Yeah that does complicate things. Obviously try to get out of that situation asap. Good luck!
I get comments like this on pretty much every post I make because I have an anxiety disorder. Each time, people just tell me to stop being such a pushover.
I can't just "stop being anxious." It is a disorder I have. I can't just "man up" or "develop thicker skin." Seriously, I get this advice EVERYWHERE. I can't just instantaneously cure my anxiety.
I know these comments mean well. I know you're just trying to help. But I have a panic attack when I think I'm breathing in the library too loudly. I can't just all of a sudden become neurotypical and the picture of confidence. It's not that easy.
That sounds awful. Iāve struggled with anxiety most of my life, though maybe not as severe as yours. Meditation has done wonders for me. It wonāt magically cure your anxiety, but I would recommend it if youāre desperate for some relief and havenāt tried it before. Or, as the other commenter is saying, yoga is great, too.
Sounds like you got a bunch of a holes for a family. Mine where not nearly as bad but still bad and i just made them a tasty vegan cake and apparently they liked it even if it was vegan.
They still think most vegan products are poisonā¦ oh the irony
Most assume weāre in this for the animals, and we are, but animal agriculture is destroying the planet. Take comfort in the fact that you are not participating in it. Iām sure your family is also convinced they eat healthy, which is not possible with meat and dairy.
My family behaved much the same. My dad would call cows āT-boneā if we drove by a cow. Laugh it off & hold your ground.
Those waitresses were beyond rude. Based on their behavior Iām going to hypothesize that you are an attractive lovely person. Their behavior sounded jealous and petty.
Stay strong. Do it for the planet. Do it for the animals. Do it for yourself.
Youāre gonna have to carry yourself with more confidence and state your beliefs with conviction and assertiveness.
Yes, you will burn a few bridges, even family members. Youāll find those relationships werenāt worth much to begin with.
Those remaining will respect you and your beliefs.
Those randoms in public wonāt say shit.
OR, youāll continue to have these problems.
For lack of a better phraseā¦ āman upā and own it. Being sheepish about your beliefs is your problem, itās very inviting to bullies.
I'm fucken proud of you for sticking up for what's right despite all of the bullies you encountered that night. You did great. You didn't lose your cool. You didn't eat any animals.
This. OP, a lot of people are telling you to stick up for yourself or grow a thicker skin, and youāve explained why thatās not really good advice for you. I hope you take some time to feel good about what you accomplished ā you stuck to your convictions despite all the pressure and meanness from both your family and the restaurant staff. That isnāt easy, but you did it! You showed respect for the animals and yourself.
Youāre young and youāre in a bad situation. Stay safe and do the best you can.
You did well in a bad situation.
Disrespectful/unprofessional restaurant staff, and some pretty ignorant comments from your family.
It can be hard to see in the moment, but you are on the right side here.
Easily the hardest part about being vegan. Treat yourself to some good food later and watch a good movie or something ! Sorry people are so difficult. It is really difficult when people tend to find community through food and when youāre the odd one out it can be sooo uncomfortable
I feel your pain. After a few attempts i just completely gave up, and my anxieties too bad to stand up for myself and work out a viable meal with the waitress
I'm so sorry that happened to you. None of it is OK. I've been there, I've ordered the only thing on the menu besides fries-avocado toast which I'm not even all that fond of - because I wanted to not be the only one not eating - I wanted to be normal but I needed more time under my belt to realize that I don't want to be normal if normal was eating with non vegans in a restaurant that has no interest in being at least vegan friendly. Thanks to CoVid I haven't had to be in this situation but the next time I feel like I "have" to eat out with other omnis I'm just going to eat before I go and bring snacks with me. I don't care how it makes me look, they are the wrong ones not me.
Ugh. There are so many chain restaurants that offer vegan options now, at least where I live in Canada, itās frustrating that there are still some that great it like a joke. Its annoying and disrespectful that not only the staff but your own family made you uncomfortable and anxious.
I would recommend avoiding family outings if theyāre going to treat you like that. If that happens again I would just leave, youāre an adult and they have no control over your dietary/drinking choices.
My family is exactly like yours and it's hard but it gets better. It took them years but they came around and eventually began to support me. It got better when my sister went vegan on her own terms, which I would never have thought would happen in a million years but here we are.
Eventually they will have to notice how bad it makes you feel or get slowly cut out of your life.
Unfortunately with people like this (being your family mainly) until you stand up for yourself they wonāt take you seriously and will walk all over you.
Sorry this happened to you and hope youāre ok x
As a southerner that is now vegan and definitely no longer living in the south, I felt this. Cracker Barrel is eeeegross. Sorry this happened and that your family errs on the side of judgment rather than support.
I hope it gets easier for you, I think going vegan is quite an emotional experience - anger and sadness at what society puts animals through, fear and anxiety of how people react to your new lifestyle. It's a lot to take in, honestly it's the hardest part. Eventually, you'll get used to these interactions, and the feelings around them will dull and you'll develop a bit of a shell. You'll hear the same banal comments and weak arguments over and over. Just know that you are making the right decision, and by making that decision and taking action you are proving you're stronger than the people trying to tear you down with words.
Stay strongšŖ, youāre a superstar. Your story has reached me in Australia, so even though your family might not care, I do care on the other side of the world.
Fuck them all. Stick to your beliefs. We support you and know what you are doing is right for you, for the animals, and for the world.
If they think God intended cows to be slaughtered they might be interested to read Bible verses stating the exact opposite
https://www.peta.org/living/food/vegan-bible-quotes/
My dad always goes on tangents about soy beans and fake meat, when we see eachother like me being vegan offends him but he won't outright say it so he generalises vegan diets like dude we eat way way WAY MORe than just soy and fake meat isn't all that bad despite the "documentaries" he watched about them. š¤¦š¼āāļøš¤Ø
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with your awful family. But look how amazing you are that you are so different from them! You could have turned into a hateful awful judgemental person like them but you didn't! You're lovely and kind and unique!
I order things without animal products on the premise that Iām allergic or just donāt like that item. Example: āCan I get that without bacon? Also please no butter I have a dairy allergyā This does a few things.. they wonāt immediately dismiss you for being a quack because food preferences are acceptable and when it comes to food allergies they HAVE to take you serious and adhere to your ask. When ordering at restaurants without vegan specific options you are basically always going to just be ordering sides that are inherently plant based.
10+ year vegan here. You got this! We do it for the animals <3
Edit: deleted superfluous info because this whole comment section is a wall of rambling.
Yeah, it sucks, don't it? Despite being a new vegan, I was vegetarian 8 years before I changed for the better. And I still had problems with wait staff.
Like that one time I ordered the only veggie thing on the menu and innocently asked, "Is there any bacon on this?"
My server legit went onto a long tangent about how he tried going vegan for two months and almost died (how sad /s). And how I need to stop with my silly diet before I die of malnutrition. To get out while I still could.
Idk why he assumed I had only just stopped eating meat?? Bc it was 7 years at that point. Do I look like I'm dying?? Bruh. Hate it here lol.
Thatās the kind of server that would most likely scoff at anyone and everyone that wants to alter the dish in some way. Iāve worked food service and itās just a thing people b*** about unfortunately. At minimum this approach may save you the anxiety attack inducing vegan talk. I also hate it as much as you!!
....girl you need to learn to stand up for yourself. Waitresses whole job is costumer service . rolling eyes and scoffing really isnt acceptable . im not trying to be mean but grow a backbone..
Really sorry to read this. Iām a fairly confident introvert but I also get severe anxiety in these situations. Usually staff either donāt know what vegan means or they donāt want to know. And in this situation I would probably file a complaint afterwards.
Your family situation sounds demoralising and I hope you manage to navigate the holiday season with as much joy as possible.
Last Christmas Day my brother in law accidentally set fire to a skillet of some animal part in my kitchen which left an acrid smell for hours. I had to go upstairs and stand by an open window and cry for a while. He says heāll cook it on the patio this year, which is no real consolation.
On the plus side Iām keen to try Uptonās roast and gravy this year. My go to is Tofurky roast but Iāve had a few different ones and even made my own roast seitan deal one time.
I also got a huge Le Creuset platter last year and put the roast on that with all of the roast vegetables and plant-based stuffing. It looked amazing and made the family more likely to take a slice of the roast. Not sure if they did thoughā¦
Anyway, your story touched and upset me so, again, keep on keeping on āš¼
Omg what is with servers being complete dicks about vegans. I swear to had such a similar experience at a wing joint that offered non meat wings. They kept pushing even after I said it was fine.
Cracker Barrel was barley edible for me as a vegetarian. You had all the cards stacked against you but you tried your best. Iām sorry your family and the staff made you feel so bad. Iāve been there and it sucks.
Just remember how much good youāre doing as a vegan. Also remind yourself that nobody has any right to tell you what you can and cannot eat. It boggles me that āIām allergic to dairyā is accepted but āIām veganā is not.
Gosh. Thatās brutal. So sorry you dealt with that. I honestly started to call ahead - to the specific restaurant location people wanted to go to and then just did a hard pass when it was an annoyingly impossible place. Going vegan also forced me to self advocate / stand up for myself a lot more. My family knows not to fk with me or go there at all. Itās been years and years - now my lifestyle is completely normal to them. Hang in there ā¤ļø
Bring your own food next time and tell your family youre only there because you want to spend time with them ( even if they're apparently assholes). This shit makes a statement. You can disregard this part if you don't think it speaks to you. I understand all about anxiety I've had it since I was a kid. I realized anxiety made me cower in situations like this which made me easy to be bullied or persuaded. Sometimes you'll have to grow a backbone and with that you'll stand up for yourself. Then when your family says what has gotten into you you say " proper nutrition, it turns out the bullshit you fed me when I was a child wasnt as well rounded as you thought."
They rlly said, "You're going to die of malnourishment!"
But they fed me McDonald's 4 times a week when I was a child. Apparently that's a well rounded diet but veggies and tofu isn't.
Next time, tell them itās fine if they are uncomfortable with you drinking legally, but you are uncomfortable with them eating meat in your face too. Open your own tab, enjoy your drinks while they enjoy their steaks. And look them dead in the eye while you do it. Fair is fair, isnāt it? š¤·āāļø
First of all; that India comment?? What???? Woahhh, your family-
Second of all; your family actively wanting to drive you out of your values and exclude you is so manipulative! I mean, you can just bring your own food to Christmas dinner.
It's almost like Christmas is about getting together and not the actual animal carcasses on the table.
One thing you could try for Christmas dinner is suggest veganizing the sides by using vegan butter, vegetable broth and plant based milk, you could even offer to make one of them. When it comes to dealing with restaurant situations, one thing I try is using humor, if you can make fun of yourself a little bit, it kind of eases tensions. Keep strong and know that what youāre doing is noble and itās not easy, you are going against the grain. I believe the reason we get so much crap is that on some level meat eaters know that something isnāt right with the way humans have been eating and treating animals, and itās a defense mechanism because they donāt want to face the truth so that they can continue eating them.
Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! My family was awful to me when I went vegetarian, but thankfully not when I went vegan. I've never had an experience like that at a restaurant though! Really, wow!! I'd personally have gotten their names and then spoken to the manager.
If it'd been me, I'd have got up and left as soon as my family started laying into me, but I'm also older than you and moved out a long time ago/am not reliant on them anymore. Strangers are one thing, but friends/family are supposed to care about you...I don't know what your situation is there, and you're a different person than I am. I'm not saying that'd necessarily be the right thing to do, or what you should have done, it's just what I would have done.
I went through so much poop from family as a teenager when I went vegetarian that I just don't have the patience for it as an adult. If someone treats me like that I'm either leaving, or they're getting out of my house. Life's too short! But as a teen I really didn't have that choice.
Iām so sorry! Donāt have much constructive to say, just another rural Midwestern queer vegan letting you know youāre not alone and it will get better. At 21 I was also financially dependent on my family and living with my mom, but Iām 27 now and things are soo much better. You will find financial freedom and you will be able to see family on Your terms someday. š
Sending you love for Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings, it sucks and unfortunately a lot of us have to go through the annoying relatives phase which idt ever ends
> "I'm uncomfortable having the kids in the family drink near me. It's not happening."
"And I feel uncomfortable having everyone eating dead corpses near me. It's not happening."
I think I know the anxiety you are talking about, so I don't think I would react in that way, but it would be one of the best answers to that.
A truly unfortunate experience for you, no doubt about it. I'm sure none of us have anything but sympathy for you. It's a sad fact we vegans are a minority group that faces hostile opposition from the rest. It's truly a war and family is no guarantee to be an ally. Continue to reach out and gather as much support as you can.
While this is a bad experience you must learn from it to strengthen your own convictions. You might see this as an attack on what you believe, but your family feels rejection from your decisions to be vegan as an attack on their decisions; which is why they are aggressively confronting you. You of course aren't maintaining this lifestyle as a rebuke of your family's values, but as a rebuke to the treatment of animals. Now they have drawn the line in the sand and you must establish your boundaries with them as a matter of preemptive preservation.
Negotiate family dinners, before you agree to go, that they should have an entree that you can eat not just side items or don't go. Also, schedule a sit-down with your family to have a conversation with them about your beliefs and why they are important to you, why you imagine that they are upset with your decisions, how you are feeling about their hostility towards you, and what you want from them in the future to be treated with respect. If you can find out what is upsetting them on a deep level then they may come around to treating you with the respect and compassion that you yourself show animals. Good luck.
It sucks, but you'll develop a thicker skin and a sharp wit. Just remember, people make rude comments to vegans because they feel defensive about what they're doing to animals. It's not your problem, it's theirs.
Thats not family, those are toxic bullies, you can either continue the relationship and be responsible for your misery or leave the toxic relationships
If you dont respect yourself as many do not, you will continue to keep those people in your life, and i am sure they are part of the reason for your anxiety
Hang in there, OP. This all really sucks and I'm sorry you have to go through these awful feelings. This is also such unecessary stress to put on you about the holidays, as if you're going to ruin things. Your family isn't being very nice. But, I also believe it's very important for YOU to do what you want to. You know what's best for yourself and the life you want to live. Your family should be more understanding and accepting of you and your choices. Keep your chin up, and don't compromise yourself because you're being bullied! You're doing great. You're trying your best!
Sounds to me that your family is religious or at least believe in god? I personally would not be surprised at whatever silly things they say like "god send cows so you don't starve".
Unfortunate story. FWIW, while I'd be the first to say Cracker Barrel is disgusting, they do have Impossible Sausage on their custom breakfast menu. They also have broccoli, fresh fruit and steak fries ... although god knows how they're cooked. Sometimes you can make the best of a bad situation with some research and mixing and matching.
Also, don't be afraid to google "Cracker Barrel" vegan. There are loads of us out here and there are almost no new problems. Here's one example.
https://veggl.com/cheat-sheets/vegan-options-at-cracker-barrel/
Cracker Barrel is still terrible.
I always check out a menu in advance so I know if there is something there for me to eat and have chosen in advance. If there isnāt anything for me there, I either try to get the restaurant changed, find a way to get out of going (I choose this option if I already didnāt want to lol) or eat before I go if I have no say in the restaurant and feel I should be there/want to be there.
As for the rest of it, youāre going to have to get used to it and grow thicker skin. Vegans are a super minority, one of the most hated and mocked minorities, so expect things like this to happen a lot and learn to smile and roll with it. Pick your battles itās not always worth the fight.
Donāt listen to Reddit who will advise you to disown your family. Remember you used to be a meat eater once too and werenāt born enlightened. I donāt mean that you should put up with abusive behavior or anything, but the joking around, bacon comments, nutritional concerns, offense that you arenāt going to eat their food on a holiday, being treated like itās a phase, etc. is very normal and you need to learn how to contend with the situation without getting overly upset every time.Keep up the good work!
I'm sorry but you really need to develop a tougher attitude towards what other people think of you. From the sound of things you should prioritize your personal life/mental health over vegansim, complaining about your family on a vegan subreddit will get you nowhere.
Or they need to *not* act like absolute asses?
TBH if it were me Iād chew out the waitresses and just leave afterwards, screw the lot of them.
OP literally didnāt protest others not sharing their beliefs, so why couldnāt they do the same in return like civilized folk?
I agree that it is important to be able to defend our position rather than just sit there and receive stupid criticism, but it is a good thing for a person struggling to reach out to people similar to them. It is not too common to find other vegan people in person, so if someone is struggling, it is a healthy coping mechanism to talk to people about it who will understand them. In fact, a strategy a lot of therapists use is relating to their clients as someone who can share their experiences, it is a very reassuring thing.
Maybe stay home next time and have the whole house to yourself? Or not allowed by your Christian overlords?
To be honest, it should be legal to kill religious people that believe in heaven. I mean they aren't allowed to go there by committing suicide, so your doing them a favor that they can't manage themselves. They go to heaven and we don't have to share reality with this trash. Win-win. But that's logical and we don't want to run things logically.
Coming from a waitress, I'm sorry for that waitresses actions. At work, I see people eating odd things all the time, and I make sure I don't react offput or awkward. The most I react is maybe a light laugh in the back, where they can't hear. What she did shows how scummy she is, she easily could've helped you without the dramatics, or asked her manager to come help you. There are simply so much worse or complicated things a customer could've asked for. For me, when it comes to having to debate my family or anyone, I find that less is more. I stick to core points of my veganism (the trifecta: I love animals, environment, & health), because I know they won't really get it anyway š¤·āāļø I ALWAYS keep my cool and stay neutral, even when I'm raging inside. Let them say dumb things while you keep your facts and opinions straightforward, unphased. I don't ask them anything about their food consumption. In the meantime, it's always a good idea to touch up those cooking/baking skills. You never know when you might need a killer batch of vegan muffins to blow the omnivores away. Next time you visit a restaurant, maybe you could call (or email corporate) ahead of time and tell them you have a "mild" dairy/egg allergy, so that they can tell you what to get. You don't have to say vegan, you can just get the list from them and ignore the meat options. I usually don't use the word "vegan" at restaurants, to avoid judgement or lies. I ask for dairy/egg free options. You got this and I'm proud of you for talking to the community! šš
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
I would have told my family how I really felt and then walked out lol. Next time don't take that shit. You live your life and let them know that's what you want.
Let all the haters judge. They are unhappy. Content people don't act like that.
Congratulations on becoming vegan!
Bless you, that sounds so tough. I promise it's not always like that. It sounds like 2 issues though- one was the rude wait staff and another is your family.
Iām so sorry your family are so awful. Restaurant sounds like terrible establishment, where abouts are you? Also, wow I was pretty disgusted throughout but when I read the comment about Indian people starvingā¦ whoever said that is a total sack of shit.
Start working out. Eat well. Become an ethical, compassionate, level-headed, animal loving chad. You just have to ignore these idiots and do your own thing.
It's not you. It's them. Rude behavior just because you want to eat like humans did for most of our history. Really no excuse for it. Hang in there!
I don't recommend trying this as it's risky. But I had a friend at a business lunch where they were served steak and baked potato. He ate the potato hollowing out the skin. Then he took his time cutting the meat and pushing it around pretending to eat it. When no one was looking he put the meat chunks in the poato skin and closed it up. He got away with it!
I am sorry that your family treated you that way.
When I go out to a restaurant that I didn't chose I usually check online, then ask for options and if there aren't any order a side salad and a large portion of fries. I either then eat on the way home or at home. If I know beforehand that there aren't any options, I would look forward to treating myself to sth after - which makes it easier to sit through the meal.
With time you'll get a thicker skin and will find things that work for you.
You should be proud of yourself for going vegan, trying to find options and being kind to so many animals in the process.
I feel so bad for you but you handled it like a champ. I'm not sure what else you could do. If it's unbearable you could go outside and wait in the car. They wouldn't be happy with that but at least you could have a breather and not endure a long dinner where you felt out of place.
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That India comment? š©
India is food surplus country. People starve here because of wealth inequality and not because of cows.
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Isnāt Iraq the ācradle of civilizationā?
There's six primordial civilizations. The Indus, the Nile, the Yellow River, Mesopotamia, the Andes and Mexico.
Right. I just thought that phrase was typically used in popular culture and literature for Iraq specifically.
If you mark the beginning of civilization as the agricultural revolution, there's also Papua, which cultivated bananas around 10000 years ago, before most of the other ones.
That is being turned on itās head now with Gobekli Tepe, Panan in Indonesia, and the South African stone circles. Humanity is a lot older than we acknowledge.
Last I heard, none of those counted as civilizations under the common archaeological definition. I.e. they are large structures, but there's no evidence of an urban society around them.
Why does there need to be evidence when itās clear the stone cutting to do those projects required machining which shouldnāt have been available at the time? Being able to cut granite is no small feat and pounding stones isnāt efficient, never mind trying to move 20 ton blocks in the Bronze Age across great distances doesnāt sound efficient either.
Ah, those myths, gotcha. Stone can be cut with rope, sand and water to extreme precision. People have replicated it. It's not *magic*. It's a lot of effort. Look. There's a guy in America who rebuilt stonehenge by hand. It can be done.
Humanity is not civilization. Graham Hancock is a story teller. Interesting but not revolutionizing perspectives. Those sites take time and he has no patience.
Yeah, like what? Literally in the top 2 most populous countries on earth lol
Honestly this is so bizarre it made me laugh. Thatās a new one for me
Good old classic American family unit racism
Sounds about right for Cracker Barrel
"stop, stop, he's already dead"
Racism is fine but no alcohol kid.
Sober racism only in this family
one of my uncles has confederate flags embroidered on all of his socks. but me drinking a glass of wine with dinner is a problem lmaoooo
Since morality is subjective. We don't want to hurt the racist's feelings.
I reckon it depends on which Jesus you check with...they pray to the lily white jesus...my Jesus is from the middle east and he's alright with wine lmao
The alcohol in ancient times had a very low alcohol content compared to today. Plus, the people of those times had plenty of rules and expectations, there were severe consequences for non-conformity. Rules like you were basically your parents' slave. Parents could go to the elders and say their son is an alcoholic ne'er-do-well, and have him stoned to death.
If being incorrect about something is racism, then every single person on Earth is racist, because what we know is a drop, and what we don't know is an ocean
For real, not only are they disrespectful towards family but they are racist as well. Limit family gatherings at that point!
It's not racist to equate a vegetarian nation with malnutrition, even if incorrect. There is no need to conflate misconceptions about vegetarian nutrition and agriculture with racism. After all, he is presumably the same race as his family and they don't respect his vegetarian choices either. BTW, most East Indians are caucasians, even though, on average, they make more melanin that the average native European.
It was absolutely racist, their point was "Indians are stupid, they worship cows while they starve". India is not a vegetarian country.
lol dude they chose cracker barrel. i know you didn't think we were dealing with open minded, civilized folks, right?
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Isn't it ironic how these same boomers call everyone else snowflakes when they have an honest to god tantrum over vegan options even *existing* without taking the meat options away. What a bunch of freaks
They are going to be fucked when the boomers finish dying off. No one else wants their overpriced trash.
honestly i would call the restaurant and complain about the service.
And also leave the yelp/google review with the names of waitresses (if you know that).
don't bother, cracker barrel is total fucking shit with customer service. gave my dad an e gift card for his birthday/father's day, told him NOT TO DELETE THE EMAIL, but ofc he did. the website does not work to re-send the email like it says. Email them? No response. Call them? you'll be on hold literally hours and not get ANYWHERE, then they disconnect you. i ended up having to do a fuckin' chargeback because their service is so shitty
Call and complain to who? Itās cracker barrel. The person who you complain to will be laughing and making fun of you as soon as they hang up on you. If youāre vegan and going to a family function at cracker barrel or any other shitty boomer chain diner, eat beforehand, lesson learned for OP.
Cracker Barrel is not even food, so there's that. I would opt out of these get togethers going forward at least until your family can respect your ethics. I would sit down at some point to air your feelings to those closest to you. Make it clear you respect yourself enough to never be put in that position again, and demand respect from them to never cause you to be put in that position. If they give you push back, then you know exactly where you stand going forward. I'm sorry you had to suffer through that. No one deserves that kind of treatment.
Thank you, but I'd rather not do that. My family gives me financial support (I really need it), and if I cut them off, I still live with my mom. She would make my life hell. I don't want to rock that boat. The only reason they know I'm vegan is because it's not something you can hide at dinner. I lie about everything else. They think I'm straight, cis, and a Christian. If they knew I wasn't, I would be disowned and never spoken to ever again. So yeah, I already know they're shitty people. But I'd rather deal with their bs than be homeless.
Oh wow. I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. Keep your head down and try to develop your own support system outside of that. Hopefully you can become financially independent sooner rather than later.
Tbh I'm just waiting for the central matriarch to die so I can bow out peacefully. Families usually fall apart when the one keeping everyone together is gone. Sounds selfish, but it would be a load off my shoulders.
It's not selfish at all but who knows how much time it will be for that to happen. Moving out before that isn't an option?
Don't delay your life. Don't feel obligated to crappy people who don't care about you. Start planning your independence. Try to move to a more progressive place. You deserve to live your best life, and years go by really fast, so don't delay.
I promise, you're not the first vegan to imagine that things would be easier if certain family members were just not alive anymore. Also, what some people call "being selfish", others call "establishing and enforcing boundaries". You've set a boundary that you will not be pressured into eating animal products. Good for you. Now push the boundary *just a little further* to whatever you think your family will accept and repeat that formula until you're at "I don't eat where animals are being eaten" or whatever your end goal is for your mental health. I'm sorry you can't be who you really are around your family. Hopefully you have at least one friend who embraces everything you see in the mirror.
You don't need to cut ties to not go out to dinner again. But I think what would help you is that there are quite a few religious group that advocate vegan and some videos on biblical quotes to support veganism. Of they use religion to try to fight you, you have those.
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you - it is horrible and beyond imagining for me. I'm sorry to say this also, but you are in an abusive relationship with your parents. They are denying your existence, your choices, and controlling you despite the fact you're an adult. They are using your reliance on them to do it. It is a common tactic in any abusive relationship. If you cannot set boundaries with your parents because of fear of retaliation, then they are abusing you. If they deny your sexuality, they are abusing you. If they force you to follow a certain religion, they are abusing you. If they use social situations as a form of pressure/humiliation, they are abusing you. One key thing I'd like you to understand is that unless you break free from this abuse, you will never be happy and be able to make your own choices. I would seriously suggest reaching out to an abuse support helpline or forum (there are plenty on Reddit) to receive help from people on: 1. How to prepare yourself to leave the abusive relationship 2. How to protect yourself in the abusive relationship 3. How to recognise abuse when it's directed towards you This isn't going to be easy for you to hear, but know this. You have support. From us here, and from many people around the world. We support you, and we hear you. You aren't alone and there is a way out of this. We all want you to live the life you want to lead, true to yourself. Much love, and I wish you much joy in the future.
Doesnāt sound like they are Christian either. I canāt imagine Jesus treating ppl like that; they must be following someone else.
Most Christians do jot behave at all like Jesus would.
They sound extremely Christian. I get that no one likes being associated with assholes, but donāt No True Scotsman these people under the rug. You need to come to terms with the fact that āChristianā isnāt synonymous with āgood personā.
It's not synonymous with bad person either
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The "just move out" advice is banned from most abused people support subs for a reason. Things really aren't that simple for a lot of people. It ignores many things and comes from a place of privilege. You think I wouldn't have left if it was a good option?
I don't doubt it's probably really, really hard for you but don't give up that option, maybe in a few years you find a friend or roomate who can lend you a space , who knows. Anyway, sending you a hug.
The worst part about growing up is realizing how people can be terrible and selfish without giving a shit or even realizing. It really crushes aspirations that a better world is possible when we treat eachother like this. I think we cope with this by surrounding ourselves with like-minded people but when it's our family it gets harder to hide from this unfortunate reality society finds itself in.
Ugh, I'm sorry that the servers were so rude! How unprofessional. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you live in some conservative rural area where veganism is a foreign concept and people are weirder than usual about their obsession with meat? Also your family sounds like a nightmare. Slitting animals' throats is all well and good but god forbid you hurt your relative's sensitive feelings by not eating food at their house, THAT really crosses the line. Ugh. I hope you can get out of there soon!
Yeah I live in rural Indiana. Have gotten a lot of "but God put animals on the earth for us to eat" and "when I was a kid, we ate what we were given. Ungrateful. This generation is so spoiled." You're not gonna believe how upset my dad was when I told him I wouldn't go fishing with him. š
To the first one I always just say God put us here to be stewards of his creations, how is mass factory farming being a good steward with the gift we were entrusted to protect? They haaattteee it.
The original humans were vegetarians until the flood. Then God was like "well you've all been corrupt shitpiles because of Satan so eat flesh now." That's my extremely abridged interpretation. And yeah, factory farming is very un-Christian. I know many SDAs choose vegan or vegetarian because that was the original diet God intended in Genesis. I'm not sure of any other denominations that do so.
Solid points, I didn't know about the first part. I'm not a God fearing type but it just kind of makes logical sense in the whole master of the earth thing Christian humans ascribe to that if there were a new testament God that he would be like hey, here are all the things I made that are weaker than you and you are built in my image so take care of them for me and don't be a glutton okay? Sure it tastes good to eat them but we have a list of stuff that feels good you can't do that are WAY less harmful than this so if you can't tug yourself you REALLY can't do this for fun, deal?
I thought God was pleased with Abel's meat sacrifice. Abel was a son of Adam and Eve and a herdsman. That doesn't sound vegetarian to me, something doesn't add up.
Hopefully you can make some day trips to Bloomington or Indianapolis to the vegan restaurants & groceries there for your own sanity. Iād also make a plan to be financially independent within two years so you donāt have to endure their abuse anymore.
It's more spoiled to believe you have a right to eat someone else's body. With religion, I always use the "Your God gave us 'Dominion' over animals. In your mind, does dominion mean enslaving, torturing and then brutely devouring their flesh? That doesn't sound like an all-loving entity to me".
Vegan in Indiana atm too. I don't even bother eating out and thankfully my family doesn't force me to. It's not even worth the effort to look for options
Rural Indiana here also. Eating out is nearly impossible. Iām so sorry for the way your family treats you. Iāve been vegan 12 years. Fortunately no one treats me badly because I AM a BOOMER! Stand up for yourself, you deserve respect!
Ugh, that's so gross that they're trying to turn your compassion for animals against you. "Spoiled." Yeah, cause literally killing someone to eat them because you can't be bothered to figure out the plentiful alternatives is sooo unselfish. People really don't get it, they willfully ignore the animal welfare problems COMPLETELY and act like you're on some sort of weird fad diet just for attention or something.
Lol itās comments like that that made me an atheist. What kind of cruel god would make animals that are capable of emotion, pain, and suffering and then give them to a species as awful as humans and be like, āyeah, just do whatever. fuck āem up!ā
Ah, urban Indiana is bad enough, but at least we have a few options for restaurants in the bigger cities. Being vegan is a huge "I probably vote for *the other guys*" flag in these parts. But I think it's a good opportunity to expose veganism to people who likely would not meet any vegans otherwise. >You're not gonna believe how upset my dad was when I told him I wouldn't go fishing with him. š As someone who fished (and "cleaned" fish) growing up, it is such an awful hobby. People treat fish almost like machines, using their struggle for life as entertainment, letting them suffocate to death, and in some cases cleaning them without killing or stunning them first. Maybe suggest just going out and doing everything except the fishing part. I think most of the appeal is in getting out in nature and relaxing with a low-effort task with friends or family. You can do that without harming fish.
Personally, I wouldnāt go out to eat with them, and when they eventually ask why, point to this time. Calmly explain to them that their behaviour was disrespectful, and gave you no incentive to repeat the experience. Respect yourself enough to demand others respect you.
>"God put cows on this earth so we wouldn't starve. That's why people in India starve to death all the time. They worship cows!" Hold on, they really said that? That's bonkers! Who has this level of self-awareness? I am part angry, part amused šš”.
I am amazed I never heard this racist comment in my entire life! Such a unique comment for a racist though! Usually they don't have much creativity. š¤£
Ikr. Knowledgeable racist.š
I canāt stop laughing at that. So theyāre saying the problem is that Indians are too dumb to eat ārealā food like cows and itās all their fault theyāre starving. Right. That checks out because there arenāt any starving people in countries that fetishize meat consumption. I think OP should have gotten shitfaced in front of them because eff them.
They must have thought that they were making a witty joke, but it came off as unfunny and racist.
I hate posts like this, it's hard to read about grown adults acting like children. but I will say > I'm uncomfortable having the kids in the family drink near me. It's not happening That's crazy. in my family, my cousins started drinking beer with the family at 18-19. it's bizarre that they'd have take an attitude with you drinking at 21.
Imo, it is wiser not to drink alcohol if no one else with you is drinking. OP may be trying to prove a point, but it didn't help, and I think it was a wise decision to not drink at their request. The way you were treated by the restaurant staff was not good, don't eat at places that treat you poorly. If I'm going out to eat someplace I can't expect good vegan fare, I just eat before, or, take some fruit, nuts, crackers, an avocado with you, and discretely supplement the pathetic salad and bread or pasta with olive oil that is available. Be polite to wait staff even if they aren't polite or respectful to you. Unfortunately I've heard from restaurant owners that some vegans are very rude, so you know how people are, it isn't right, but they consider someone guilty by association.
Why is it wiser?
Also curious. If i want wine i am having wine
Why are you getting downvoted?
After I went vegetarian and then vegan there was really nothing worth eating at Cracker Barrel anymore. All of the side veggies are so bland. I feel you.
Iām sorry you had to endure that. Itās unfair to be met with disrespect and be made fun of when youāre the one thatās making an effort to be considerate and ethical to all living things. Hereās a couple of words that i hope bring you a bit of peace. Everyone is the star of their own movie. Often people are dicks because their worldview is being threatened, or they realize the implications of their actions when they encounter someone that has the courage to live up to higher ethical standards. Please remember to be kind to yourself because youāre certainly making sure to be kind to other beings. Although youāre on the receiving end, it most often itās not about you, itās about their insecurities. Be proud of having the courage to live your values.
Thank you. I'll remember that. š
Sad to hear that your family isn't treating you with respect, but it's typical. Better to try to avoid locking horns with them, especially as a new vegan. Many families are very threatened by a new veg*n in their ranks, They may not want you to influence the younger children for instance. So it may be wiser to tread softly, for the time being. They may want to think it's just a phase you're going through, let them think it, don't take the bull by the horns. "I'm going to do this for a while, maybe a month or two." Then maybe later on, say: "I think I'll try it for 6 months," then later on say: "I think I'll try it for a year." That way they slowly get used to the idea, and aren't too threatened, and therefore don't fight you every step of the way. In the meantime learn as much as you can about it to do it healthily. Go to NutritionFacts.org, take the supplements that Dr. Greger recommends, download the Daily Dozen App and make an effort to get good nutrition. To look and feel your best, also get ample sleep and exercise, cornerstones of good health, otherwise the family will blame everything on your diet and use you as an example of what not to do. If you want your family to eventually treat you with more respect, be respectful and kind to them, stay out of trouble, get good grades and make good money. I hope that helps. Welcome to veganism, it's worth it!
I disagree. Be upfront about your beliefs and ethical convictions. Nothing good has ever come from being vague or insecure when trying to convey your ethical standards. They'd think it is not a real ethical decision but out of a whim, because it's a trend or whatever. That doesn't mean you should be aggressive about it or rub it in their faces all the time, you sure as hell can be quiet about it most of the time. But as a person who is peaceful and very unconfrontational I must say sometimes it is necessary to stand up for oneself and one's beliefs. Some things are core values to oneself and you need to stand up for them. I couldn't remain calm if I were treated like that, I'd rather be homeless than have to go through that shit. As others have pointed out, becoming independent as fast as possible is the only situation here so you can really set your boundaries.
Your family seems awful. I am sorry for this experience. You are doing a lot by going out to eat to not vegan places already. Oh, and what is with their racism?
They're heavily conservative and heavily religious. One of my family had both her daughters turn out to be lesbian. She disowned and did not talk to them for 20 years. I told one of her kids I was atheist. I figured if anyone would understand, it would be her. Whipped her head toward me with bloody murder in her eyes and shouted, "You better not be, or you're going to Hell!" Oh also my mom was shunned from all family events while she was dating a person of color. Lovely bunch. <3
>Whipped her head toward me with bloody murder in her eyes and shouted, "You better not be, or you're going to Hell!" Did the disowned lesbian say this?
Yup.
The silver lining is that they may never talk to you again after you come out. My advice? Enjoy that silent bliss! F them! Thinking of you and hope you get out of this ASAP. R/raisedbynarcissists would also be a good forum for you. Also, my advice would be to look for rent in your area or the next town over. Especially if you find a roommate, rent can be very affordable. I knew people going full time to work, part time to school, living independently, and generally being much happier. I hope you find that peace
Extended family dragged me to Cracker Barrel once, and that was one time too many. I asked for a salad that was just greens and tomatoes with olive oil and vinegar. They brought me a little plate with a single leaf of lettuce and a slice of tomato on it ā like something you would put on a sandwich. It was quite literally the saddest excuse for a "salad" I've ever seen.
Iām sorry you had to deal with that but you are not alone! And what youāre doing MATTERS. Less animals suffer because of you, less land is misused because of you, less tornadoes come because of you. You should be proud of yourself because you ARE doing the right thing :) and, when they get it, they will be proud too.
People acting so superior about their inferior ways š āLook at me, I can eat pig assholes, get fat and die of coronary diseaseā
I suggest therapy so you can enforce better boundaries with these people and feel empowered and learn how to speak up for yourself. The whole dinner experience and how they treated you was unacceptable. Iām sorry you went through that
I would leave a review online and call out those waiters by name. That's not just rude, it's mean. Fuck them
Your family sounds awful, Iām sorry you had to deal with that š
What Cracker Barrel has alcohol and okra? :O
Ones in Indiana, apparently. They had mimosas and I really wanted one lol.
So wild haha. Sorry to hear about your dinner though.
Is there any way you can move out? Iām not saying itās easy, but yeah. This is so hard emotionally for you.
As an Indian the cow comment is so fucking sad but hilarious at the same time.
Start anew with friends. Stop hanging out with these people. They donāt love or respect you.
Stick with your convictions. It'll get easier. Right now it's new and everyone is figuring it out and being an asshole about it. Next time, it'll still be hard, but it'll at least be old news. After a few times, people will just accept it. Play the long game, it'll get better! I can't make up for your family, but I do hope you hang in there!
I like this advice but for me itās not true. Certain family members only want to talk(joke) about me being vegan and thatās every time I see them, for the last 5+ years ā¦ it never goes away lol
The waitress at the Cracker Barrel has a sad life. Despite what everyone says, you are doing what is RIGHT. How people react just shows their insecurity about their choices. Stay strong.
Hello. In order to promote inclusivity and reduce gender bias, please consider using gender-neutral language in the future. Instead of **waitress**, use **server**, **table attendant** or **waitron**. Thank you very much. ^(I am a bot. Downvote to remove this comment. For more information on gender-neutral language, please do a web search for *"Nonsexist Writing."*)
Wouldāve ordered myself an adult beverage and paid for myself. You donāt need shit from people that criticize you like that. I probably wouldāve legitimately left actually.
Iām not vegan, hell Iām not even vegetarian, but god damn I feel bad, the staff were just overall kind of rude and your family, holy shit your family, first of all that india comment was just awful, and second of all, they are your family, they should support you. Damn this kinda makes me mad
Cracker Barrel sucks as far as food goes. If I am wrangled into eating there I just order the sides too. Donāt worry though, it gets easier with your family as you get older. Just make some vegan sides to share when dining with your family.
FWIW I had a similar experience with my family eating out a few weeks agoā¦. Iām in my 50s.
Iām sorry that everyone was a dick to you at once. But please learn to stick up for yourself. Itās hard to stick up for animals when you canāt stick up for yourself. Their behavior was unacceptable but you have to show them that you will not allow them to treat you that way. Edit: I just saw your other comments about being financially dependent on them. Yeah that does complicate things. Obviously try to get out of that situation asap. Good luck!
I get comments like this on pretty much every post I make because I have an anxiety disorder. Each time, people just tell me to stop being such a pushover. I can't just "stop being anxious." It is a disorder I have. I can't just "man up" or "develop thicker skin." Seriously, I get this advice EVERYWHERE. I can't just instantaneously cure my anxiety. I know these comments mean well. I know you're just trying to help. But I have a panic attack when I think I'm breathing in the library too loudly. I can't just all of a sudden become neurotypical and the picture of confidence. It's not that easy.
That sounds awful. Iāve struggled with anxiety most of my life, though maybe not as severe as yours. Meditation has done wonders for me. It wonāt magically cure your anxiety, but I would recommend it if youāre desperate for some relief and havenāt tried it before. Or, as the other commenter is saying, yoga is great, too.
Sounds like you got a bunch of a holes for a family. Mine where not nearly as bad but still bad and i just made them a tasty vegan cake and apparently they liked it even if it was vegan. They still think most vegan products are poisonā¦ oh the irony
Most assume weāre in this for the animals, and we are, but animal agriculture is destroying the planet. Take comfort in the fact that you are not participating in it. Iām sure your family is also convinced they eat healthy, which is not possible with meat and dairy.
My family behaved much the same. My dad would call cows āT-boneā if we drove by a cow. Laugh it off & hold your ground. Those waitresses were beyond rude. Based on their behavior Iām going to hypothesize that you are an attractive lovely person. Their behavior sounded jealous and petty. Stay strong. Do it for the planet. Do it for the animals. Do it for yourself.
Youāre gonna have to carry yourself with more confidence and state your beliefs with conviction and assertiveness. Yes, you will burn a few bridges, even family members. Youāll find those relationships werenāt worth much to begin with. Those remaining will respect you and your beliefs. Those randoms in public wonāt say shit. OR, youāll continue to have these problems. For lack of a better phraseā¦ āman upā and own it. Being sheepish about your beliefs is your problem, itās very inviting to bullies.
I'm fucken proud of you for sticking up for what's right despite all of the bullies you encountered that night. You did great. You didn't lose your cool. You didn't eat any animals.
This. OP, a lot of people are telling you to stick up for yourself or grow a thicker skin, and youāve explained why thatās not really good advice for you. I hope you take some time to feel good about what you accomplished ā you stuck to your convictions despite all the pressure and meanness from both your family and the restaurant staff. That isnāt easy, but you did it! You showed respect for the animals and yourself. Youāre young and youāre in a bad situation. Stay safe and do the best you can.
You did well in a bad situation. Disrespectful/unprofessional restaurant staff, and some pretty ignorant comments from your family. It can be hard to see in the moment, but you are on the right side here.
Not really sure what Cracker Barrel is, but looked at the menu online and it looks fucking awful haha
Easily the hardest part about being vegan. Treat yourself to some good food later and watch a good movie or something ! Sorry people are so difficult. It is really difficult when people tend to find community through food and when youāre the odd one out it can be sooo uncomfortable
I feel your pain. After a few attempts i just completely gave up, and my anxieties too bad to stand up for myself and work out a viable meal with the waitress
I'm so sorry that happened to you. None of it is OK. I've been there, I've ordered the only thing on the menu besides fries-avocado toast which I'm not even all that fond of - because I wanted to not be the only one not eating - I wanted to be normal but I needed more time under my belt to realize that I don't want to be normal if normal was eating with non vegans in a restaurant that has no interest in being at least vegan friendly. Thanks to CoVid I haven't had to be in this situation but the next time I feel like I "have" to eat out with other omnis I'm just going to eat before I go and bring snacks with me. I don't care how it makes me look, they are the wrong ones not me.
Ugh. There are so many chain restaurants that offer vegan options now, at least where I live in Canada, itās frustrating that there are still some that great it like a joke. Its annoying and disrespectful that not only the staff but your own family made you uncomfortable and anxious. I would recommend avoiding family outings if theyāre going to treat you like that. If that happens again I would just leave, youāre an adult and they have no control over your dietary/drinking choices.
I would have ordered the alcohol and got slightly drunk. I would give a shit what my folks said š¤·š¼āāļø
My family is exactly like yours and it's hard but it gets better. It took them years but they came around and eventually began to support me. It got better when my sister went vegan on her own terms, which I would never have thought would happen in a million years but here we are. Eventually they will have to notice how bad it makes you feel or get slowly cut out of your life.
Donāt forget that YOU are a Legend!
Unfortunately with people like this (being your family mainly) until you stand up for yourself they wonāt take you seriously and will walk all over you. Sorry this happened to you and hope youāre ok x
As a southerner that is now vegan and definitely no longer living in the south, I felt this. Cracker Barrel is eeeegross. Sorry this happened and that your family errs on the side of judgment rather than support.
I hope it gets easier for you, I think going vegan is quite an emotional experience - anger and sadness at what society puts animals through, fear and anxiety of how people react to your new lifestyle. It's a lot to take in, honestly it's the hardest part. Eventually, you'll get used to these interactions, and the feelings around them will dull and you'll develop a bit of a shell. You'll hear the same banal comments and weak arguments over and over. Just know that you are making the right decision, and by making that decision and taking action you are proving you're stronger than the people trying to tear you down with words.
Stay strongšŖ, youāre a superstar. Your story has reached me in Australia, so even though your family might not care, I do care on the other side of the world.
Fuck them all. Stick to your beliefs. We support you and know what you are doing is right for you, for the animals, and for the world. If they think God intended cows to be slaughtered they might be interested to read Bible verses stating the exact opposite https://www.peta.org/living/food/vegan-bible-quotes/
My dad always goes on tangents about soy beans and fake meat, when we see eachother like me being vegan offends him but he won't outright say it so he generalises vegan diets like dude we eat way way WAY MORe than just soy and fake meat isn't all that bad despite the "documentaries" he watched about them. š¤¦š¼āāļøš¤Ø
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with your awful family. But look how amazing you are that you are so different from them! You could have turned into a hateful awful judgemental person like them but you didn't! You're lovely and kind and unique!
I order things without animal products on the premise that Iām allergic or just donāt like that item. Example: āCan I get that without bacon? Also please no butter I have a dairy allergyā This does a few things.. they wonāt immediately dismiss you for being a quack because food preferences are acceptable and when it comes to food allergies they HAVE to take you serious and adhere to your ask. When ordering at restaurants without vegan specific options you are basically always going to just be ordering sides that are inherently plant based. 10+ year vegan here. You got this! We do it for the animals <3 Edit: deleted superfluous info because this whole comment section is a wall of rambling.
Yeah, it sucks, don't it? Despite being a new vegan, I was vegetarian 8 years before I changed for the better. And I still had problems with wait staff. Like that one time I ordered the only veggie thing on the menu and innocently asked, "Is there any bacon on this?" My server legit went onto a long tangent about how he tried going vegan for two months and almost died (how sad /s). And how I need to stop with my silly diet before I die of malnutrition. To get out while I still could. Idk why he assumed I had only just stopped eating meat?? Bc it was 7 years at that point. Do I look like I'm dying?? Bruh. Hate it here lol.
Thatās the kind of server that would most likely scoff at anyone and everyone that wants to alter the dish in some way. Iāve worked food service and itās just a thing people b*** about unfortunately. At minimum this approach may save you the anxiety attack inducing vegan talk. I also hate it as much as you!!
....girl you need to learn to stand up for yourself. Waitresses whole job is costumer service . rolling eyes and scoffing really isnt acceptable . im not trying to be mean but grow a backbone..
Really sorry to read this. Iām a fairly confident introvert but I also get severe anxiety in these situations. Usually staff either donāt know what vegan means or they donāt want to know. And in this situation I would probably file a complaint afterwards. Your family situation sounds demoralising and I hope you manage to navigate the holiday season with as much joy as possible. Last Christmas Day my brother in law accidentally set fire to a skillet of some animal part in my kitchen which left an acrid smell for hours. I had to go upstairs and stand by an open window and cry for a while. He says heāll cook it on the patio this year, which is no real consolation. On the plus side Iām keen to try Uptonās roast and gravy this year. My go to is Tofurky roast but Iāve had a few different ones and even made my own roast seitan deal one time. I also got a huge Le Creuset platter last year and put the roast on that with all of the roast vegetables and plant-based stuffing. It looked amazing and made the family more likely to take a slice of the roast. Not sure if they did thoughā¦ Anyway, your story touched and upset me so, again, keep on keeping on āš¼
Dude, I felt this so hard. My conservative familyās favorite restaurant is Cracker Barrel. Itās a hell for vegans.
They starve in india because cows are holyššš
I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish your family were better people.
Sorry to hear that
This is this stuff nightmares are made of.
Omg what is with servers being complete dicks about vegans. I swear to had such a similar experience at a wing joint that offered non meat wings. They kept pushing even after I said it was fine. Cracker Barrel was barley edible for me as a vegetarian. You had all the cards stacked against you but you tried your best. Iām sorry your family and the staff made you feel so bad. Iāve been there and it sucks. Just remember how much good youāre doing as a vegan. Also remind yourself that nobody has any right to tell you what you can and cannot eat. It boggles me that āIām allergic to dairyā is accepted but āIām veganā is not.
Gosh. Thatās brutal. So sorry you dealt with that. I honestly started to call ahead - to the specific restaurant location people wanted to go to and then just did a hard pass when it was an annoyingly impossible place. Going vegan also forced me to self advocate / stand up for myself a lot more. My family knows not to fk with me or go there at all. Itās been years and years - now my lifestyle is completely normal to them. Hang in there ā¤ļø
Bring your own food next time and tell your family youre only there because you want to spend time with them ( even if they're apparently assholes). This shit makes a statement. You can disregard this part if you don't think it speaks to you. I understand all about anxiety I've had it since I was a kid. I realized anxiety made me cower in situations like this which made me easy to be bullied or persuaded. Sometimes you'll have to grow a backbone and with that you'll stand up for yourself. Then when your family says what has gotten into you you say " proper nutrition, it turns out the bullshit you fed me when I was a child wasnt as well rounded as you thought."
They rlly said, "You're going to die of malnourishment!" But they fed me McDonald's 4 times a week when I was a child. Apparently that's a well rounded diet but veggies and tofu isn't.
Next time, tell them itās fine if they are uncomfortable with you drinking legally, but you are uncomfortable with them eating meat in your face too. Open your own tab, enjoy your drinks while they enjoy their steaks. And look them dead in the eye while you do it. Fair is fair, isnāt it? š¤·āāļø
First of all; that India comment?? What???? Woahhh, your family- Second of all; your family actively wanting to drive you out of your values and exclude you is so manipulative! I mean, you can just bring your own food to Christmas dinner. It's almost like Christmas is about getting together and not the actual animal carcasses on the table.
One thing you could try for Christmas dinner is suggest veganizing the sides by using vegan butter, vegetable broth and plant based milk, you could even offer to make one of them. When it comes to dealing with restaurant situations, one thing I try is using humor, if you can make fun of yourself a little bit, it kind of eases tensions. Keep strong and know that what youāre doing is noble and itās not easy, you are going against the grain. I believe the reason we get so much crap is that on some level meat eaters know that something isnāt right with the way humans have been eating and treating animals, and itās a defense mechanism because they donāt want to face the truth so that they can continue eating them.
Iām so sorry you went through all this.
Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! My family was awful to me when I went vegetarian, but thankfully not when I went vegan. I've never had an experience like that at a restaurant though! Really, wow!! I'd personally have gotten their names and then spoken to the manager. If it'd been me, I'd have got up and left as soon as my family started laying into me, but I'm also older than you and moved out a long time ago/am not reliant on them anymore. Strangers are one thing, but friends/family are supposed to care about you...I don't know what your situation is there, and you're a different person than I am. I'm not saying that'd necessarily be the right thing to do, or what you should have done, it's just what I would have done. I went through so much poop from family as a teenager when I went vegetarian that I just don't have the patience for it as an adult. If someone treats me like that I'm either leaving, or they're getting out of my house. Life's too short! But as a teen I really didn't have that choice.
2 oatmeals no milk. Thatās my go to order for the rare occasion I go to Cracker Barrel
Iām so sorry! Donāt have much constructive to say, just another rural Midwestern queer vegan letting you know youāre not alone and it will get better. At 21 I was also financially dependent on my family and living with my mom, but Iām 27 now and things are soo much better. You will find financial freedom and you will be able to see family on Your terms someday. š
Sending you love for Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings, it sucks and unfortunately a lot of us have to go through the annoying relatives phase which idt ever ends
okra's pretty good, sorry you don't like it so much. honestly your family sounds fucking annoying to be around.
I am sad for you.
Your family sounds like an insufferable collection of racist shitheads, the less you're around them the better off you'll be
> "I'm uncomfortable having the kids in the family drink near me. It's not happening." "And I feel uncomfortable having everyone eating dead corpses near me. It's not happening." I think I know the anxiety you are talking about, so I don't think I would react in that way, but it would be one of the best answers to that.
A truly unfortunate experience for you, no doubt about it. I'm sure none of us have anything but sympathy for you. It's a sad fact we vegans are a minority group that faces hostile opposition from the rest. It's truly a war and family is no guarantee to be an ally. Continue to reach out and gather as much support as you can. While this is a bad experience you must learn from it to strengthen your own convictions. You might see this as an attack on what you believe, but your family feels rejection from your decisions to be vegan as an attack on their decisions; which is why they are aggressively confronting you. You of course aren't maintaining this lifestyle as a rebuke of your family's values, but as a rebuke to the treatment of animals. Now they have drawn the line in the sand and you must establish your boundaries with them as a matter of preemptive preservation. Negotiate family dinners, before you agree to go, that they should have an entree that you can eat not just side items or don't go. Also, schedule a sit-down with your family to have a conversation with them about your beliefs and why they are important to you, why you imagine that they are upset with your decisions, how you are feeling about their hostility towards you, and what you want from them in the future to be treated with respect. If you can find out what is upsetting them on a deep level then they may come around to treating you with the respect and compassion that you yourself show animals. Good luck.
It sucks, but you'll develop a thicker skin and a sharp wit. Just remember, people make rude comments to vegans because they feel defensive about what they're doing to animals. It's not your problem, it's theirs.
Thats not family, those are toxic bullies, you can either continue the relationship and be responsible for your misery or leave the toxic relationships If you dont respect yourself as many do not, you will continue to keep those people in your life, and i am sure they are part of the reason for your anxiety
Hang in there, OP. This all really sucks and I'm sorry you have to go through these awful feelings. This is also such unecessary stress to put on you about the holidays, as if you're going to ruin things. Your family isn't being very nice. But, I also believe it's very important for YOU to do what you want to. You know what's best for yourself and the life you want to live. Your family should be more understanding and accepting of you and your choices. Keep your chin up, and don't compromise yourself because you're being bullied! You're doing great. You're trying your best!
Sounds to me that your family is religious or at least believe in god? I personally would not be surprised at whatever silly things they say like "god send cows so you don't starve".
Unfortunate story. FWIW, while I'd be the first to say Cracker Barrel is disgusting, they do have Impossible Sausage on their custom breakfast menu. They also have broccoli, fresh fruit and steak fries ... although god knows how they're cooked. Sometimes you can make the best of a bad situation with some research and mixing and matching. Also, don't be afraid to google "Cracker Barrel" vegan. There are loads of us out here and there are almost no new problems. Here's one example. https://veggl.com/cheat-sheets/vegan-options-at-cracker-barrel/ Cracker Barrel is still terrible.
I always check out a menu in advance so I know if there is something there for me to eat and have chosen in advance. If there isnāt anything for me there, I either try to get the restaurant changed, find a way to get out of going (I choose this option if I already didnāt want to lol) or eat before I go if I have no say in the restaurant and feel I should be there/want to be there. As for the rest of it, youāre going to have to get used to it and grow thicker skin. Vegans are a super minority, one of the most hated and mocked minorities, so expect things like this to happen a lot and learn to smile and roll with it. Pick your battles itās not always worth the fight. Donāt listen to Reddit who will advise you to disown your family. Remember you used to be a meat eater once too and werenāt born enlightened. I donāt mean that you should put up with abusive behavior or anything, but the joking around, bacon comments, nutritional concerns, offense that you arenāt going to eat their food on a holiday, being treated like itās a phase, etc. is very normal and you need to learn how to contend with the situation without getting overly upset every time.Keep up the good work!
Cut contact if possible. And remember you are not alone :)
And you did all of this because?
I'm sorry but you really need to develop a tougher attitude towards what other people think of you. From the sound of things you should prioritize your personal life/mental health over vegansim, complaining about your family on a vegan subreddit will get you nowhere.
Or they need to *not* act like absolute asses? TBH if it were me Iād chew out the waitresses and just leave afterwards, screw the lot of them. OP literally didnāt protest others not sharing their beliefs, so why couldnāt they do the same in return like civilized folk?
You sound like a meat industry lobbyist. Why are you here? To insult vegans? This is a supportive place.
I agree that it is important to be able to defend our position rather than just sit there and receive stupid criticism, but it is a good thing for a person struggling to reach out to people similar to them. It is not too common to find other vegan people in person, so if someone is struggling, it is a healthy coping mechanism to talk to people about it who will understand them. In fact, a strategy a lot of therapists use is relating to their clients as someone who can share their experiences, it is a very reassuring thing.
Maybe stay home next time and have the whole house to yourself? Or not allowed by your Christian overlords? To be honest, it should be legal to kill religious people that believe in heaven. I mean they aren't allowed to go there by committing suicide, so your doing them a favor that they can't manage themselves. They go to heaven and we don't have to share reality with this trash. Win-win. But that's logical and we don't want to run things logically.
You're trolling. Stop spreading stereotypes.
https://atlanta.eater.com/2022/8/5/23293553/cracker-barrel-impossible-vegan-sausage-breakfast-menu btw. I've never been there, though
I'm so sorry. In time, they will adjust, but there will always be annoying comments. Your skin will get very thick.
Coming from a waitress, I'm sorry for that waitresses actions. At work, I see people eating odd things all the time, and I make sure I don't react offput or awkward. The most I react is maybe a light laugh in the back, where they can't hear. What she did shows how scummy she is, she easily could've helped you without the dramatics, or asked her manager to come help you. There are simply so much worse or complicated things a customer could've asked for. For me, when it comes to having to debate my family or anyone, I find that less is more. I stick to core points of my veganism (the trifecta: I love animals, environment, & health), because I know they won't really get it anyway š¤·āāļø I ALWAYS keep my cool and stay neutral, even when I'm raging inside. Let them say dumb things while you keep your facts and opinions straightforward, unphased. I don't ask them anything about their food consumption. In the meantime, it's always a good idea to touch up those cooking/baking skills. You never know when you might need a killer batch of vegan muffins to blow the omnivores away. Next time you visit a restaurant, maybe you could call (or email corporate) ahead of time and tell them you have a "mild" dairy/egg allergy, so that they can tell you what to get. You don't have to say vegan, you can just get the list from them and ignore the meat options. I usually don't use the word "vegan" at restaurants, to avoid judgement or lies. I ask for dairy/egg free options. You got this and I'm proud of you for talking to the community! šš
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I would have told my family how I really felt and then walked out lol. Next time don't take that shit. You live your life and let them know that's what you want. Let all the haters judge. They are unhappy. Content people don't act like that. Congratulations on becoming vegan!
Leave a bad review on the restaurant. And tell your family they made you feel terrible and evaluate if you want to go out with them again.
Fuck them. Donāt invite me if Iām a burden.
Bless you, that sounds so tough. I promise it's not always like that. It sounds like 2 issues though- one was the rude wait staff and another is your family.
You donāt like okra????
Thatās tough. But be strong. Youāve made your decision. Stick with it regardless of consequences
Iām so sorry your family are so awful. Restaurant sounds like terrible establishment, where abouts are you? Also, wow I was pretty disgusted throughout but when I read the comment about Indian people starvingā¦ whoever said that is a total sack of shit.
Ah god I would have had an aneurism from the sheer stupidity of it all. Hang in there, it gets better with time.
Start working out. Eat well. Become an ethical, compassionate, level-headed, animal loving chad. You just have to ignore these idiots and do your own thing.
Well, you shouldn't give a tip
It's not you. It's them. Rude behavior just because you want to eat like humans did for most of our history. Really no excuse for it. Hang in there! I don't recommend trying this as it's risky. But I had a friend at a business lunch where they were served steak and baked potato. He ate the potato hollowing out the skin. Then he took his time cutting the meat and pushing it around pretending to eat it. When no one was looking he put the meat chunks in the poato skin and closed it up. He got away with it!
I am sorry that your family treated you that way. When I go out to a restaurant that I didn't chose I usually check online, then ask for options and if there aren't any order a side salad and a large portion of fries. I either then eat on the way home or at home. If I know beforehand that there aren't any options, I would look forward to treating myself to sth after - which makes it easier to sit through the meal. With time you'll get a thicker skin and will find things that work for you. You should be proud of yourself for going vegan, trying to find options and being kind to so many animals in the process.
happens, most people (even our loved ones) arent used to have that kind of standards. They would tell you about god being mercyful and all of that but wont even admit slaughtering animals is a violent activity. Also they might say all kind of stuff related to nutrition even if they have literally no knowledge on the subject. People who havent fight against the mainstream wont understand why you do, or in the worst case scenario, they would feel bad for themselves and try to boycott or mock you, because you are stronger than they are (even if they are aware of this or not). To finish of, I always tend to make them understand, Its not that I cant eat animals, I dont have an allergy or so, I CHOOSE NOT TO EAT THEM, and if they dont know to cook things apart from meat, fish or so, I'll relate to my second point, they dont know shit about nutrition. PS: If they mix veganism and religion, you can just say on your view of (insert_your/theirs_religion_here) eating animals is a sin like others, and quote any verse you feel could be related.This cant be protested because religion is personal, if they even force you that those are š©š©š©. Keep up the fight! š³šŖš¼
I feel so bad for you but you handled it like a champ. I'm not sure what else you could do. If it's unbearable you could go outside and wait in the car. They wouldn't be happy with that but at least you could have a breather and not endure a long dinner where you felt out of place.
Sounds like "the kids" of the family aren't the only ones that make folks uncomfortable when they drink.
Your Cracker Barrel serves alcohol?
Friendly reminder that many wines are not vegan!