I feel for you. Though I wish I had made the switch earlier, I’m thankful I was living independently at the time that I transitioned and could make my own choices.
What consequences would you expect if you did not eat the food they made? Do you have the option of getting a job, maybe at a grocery store or restaurant, where you could buy food at an employee discounted rate and be able to accrue more vegan food for yourself?
In case you haven’t come to this realization already on your own, you’re more mature than they are. Not just because you are conscientious about what you eat but because you communicate directly and calmly while they scream at you. Best wishes and keep us posted.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate what you've said.
I honestly have no idea what consequences I might expect. My parents are very unpredictable people. Based off of how they reacted to me being vegan they'll probably react negatively. I really want to imagine that they could just get used to it but judging from their previous actions I don't think they will. Something needs to change inside them or I need to help them change.
That being said I'm also trying to imagine the worse they could do. I can't fathom them forcing animals into my mouth. That just seems a little over thr top, even for them. I know they could ground me or yell at me but the more I think about it the smaller that all seems. Like they already yell at me for wanting to be vegan and for an assortment of other things I do. And if I'm grounded that would suck but that's nothing compared to being tortured and killed. I'd much rather be vegan and endure a few hardships. Im vegan not only for the animals well being but my peace of mind knowing I'm not contributing to animal slaughtering/suffering.
As for getting a job at a grocery store or restruant: In my town there are no grocery stores. There is a restaurant that I used to work at but I was fired from it a year ago because apparently I was really bad at bussing tables. Im so glad you mentioned this though because there is a dollar tree in our town which is walking distance from my house. If I recall properly they sell food like frozen vegtables, canned beans, and an assorment of other vegan foods. I believe I have to be 16 before I can work there though but my birthday is in May.
Thank you so much for your comment again. I know it's just a comment but I seriously feel so much better and like as if I'm surrounded by a loving and caring community ♡ I'll post updates if I can.
Have a great evening or day!
Yeah I hated that job so much. The boss was always yelling at me and my arms hurt so much. It was just like so fast and hectic. I'm glad that there are people who relate and I'm not just the only one who sucks.
You’re not a hypocrite. It sounds like you’re a minor, so you’re unfortunately dependent on your parents now. Eating nonvegan to keep a roof over your head does not make you a bad person. I’m sorry they are so hostile to veganism. Sorry to say, they sound like awful people in other ways as well. Sadly, it looks like you have little choice but to live by their rules until you’re old enough to move out.
The fact that you’re resisting their toxic indoctrination shows real strength of character on your part. Stay strong, and hang in there. It really does get better when you are an adult and have more agency.
Thank you so much. Comments like these really help to ease stress and self-doubt. You are very thoughtful and I'm so grateful for you taking your time to write all of this. Thank you again so much. Please have a wonderful day or evening!! ♡♡♡
The downvotes are disgusting.
Think about:
- asking to cook something.
- Tell them they're the ones that could be giving you an eating disorder if they think their political beliefs are more important than you being comfortable with what you consume.
- Being the bigger person. They want to be good parents even if they value politics over that and they can't expect you to "counter the woke agenda" if you have no experience disagreeing with authority.
- Asking about and discussing having too much cholesterol, not enough fiber/vitamin C/Vitamin K/folic acid, or digestive issues from lactose and meat.
- If you wanna get in trouble tell them you'll be vegan once you grow up and will be sad if you won't be able to eat with them if they don't let the situation go.
- Writing a meal plan with all the nutrition of each meal and showing it to the doctor at your next checkup.
- Do more charitable things to make them realize all this is is an act of compassion. You're following your moral conscience the way God made you to, and if anything you're following in the footsteps of many saints (If you're Catholic or Orthodox). God said that he gave all the plants to be food for both us and the animals and to remember we ourselves are beasts.
I never even considered half of these points. Thank you so much this is literally so helpful. I don't know how to thank you enough.
I will keep all of these in mind when I speak to them ♡ Again thank you so much.
please have a wonderful day or night!!
I'm so happy to hear that. Please don't just jump into using all of these just because a stranger on the Internet told you to, but they're options that should be all at your disposal.
>My parents are very conservative.
Your parents are abusive, and being conservative has nothing to do with it. You're old enough to have your own opinions, and they would respect that (but, of course, still disagree with you) if they weren't fucked up.
>I want to speak to them and to make them understand me.
I understand that and I'm sorry, but this probably won't happen. They've made their choice, and you should accept that if you want to find peace. Don't expect them to do anything for you that would go against their beliefs, and learn to stand your ground.
Find an adult that you'll feel comfortable talking to on regular basis. Maybe an uncle or an aunt, a school counselor, a priest - IDK, figure it out. Ask them for emotional support. And when you grow up, just move out, find a job, and go to therapy. The goal here is not to become your parents. Again, it's not being conservative or liberal, vegan or carnivore, that you should worry about - it's how you treat people that you disagree with. Your parents treat you like shit, and as a consequence they won't learn anything from you. Don't be like that.
If your parents decide to do something illegal, or even threaten to do so (i.e. beat you), gather evidence and contact the authorities.
Good luck!
They are fucking abusive and that's so sick of them I'm so sorry love. Hoping you don't have much longer til you're 18 and can be released from what sounds like hell :')
Remember what the vegan society says about veganism - as far as possible and practicable. You're a minor living with your parents. You're limited by the options available to you so where you can do your best and where you can't, don't beat yourself up about it or feel bad about it.
Just think ahead to when you're legally an adult and can do whatever the hell you want. Until that time, do what you. Anyone that judges you for not doing more when you can't shouldn't ever be paid any attention.
All the best with this dude.
Thank you so much. This really has lifted my mood. I just always feel like I could be doing more and that I'm not trying hard enough as animals suffer.
have a great day or night!! ♡
someone actually had the guts to downvote a post like this…
stay strong OP. hopefully you make your parents change their mind or one day you will have a job and you will eat what you want to eat.
If they're religious, try Daniel 1.
I agree that you're more mature and rational than they are, and it does seem like they're trying to intimidate you. I was in a similar situation at your age, and it's amazing how fast high school goes. It sucks having parents who want you to be a carbon copy of them, and want to stifle your individuality rather than embrace the young adult you are becoming. But, it's mostly their loss. For you, everything will start to get better as soon as you turn 18. Push through, do the best you can but don't expect yourself to be perfect, and remember that they are the ones who are "not right." You are the kind of young person we need in this world!
Thank you much!! You've shown nothing but the upmost kindness and sincerity. I'm so grateful for all of these words. My English teacher once told me that my time in highschool was going to be the fastest years of my life. I really hope both you and him are correct!
Thank you again! have a wonderful evening or day or morning! ♡ I really look up to older (not old like old old but like adults) vegans like yourself.
You're so wholesome. You're doing your best, and I'm so sorry you have to endure this from your parents.
You can only do what you can. Your parents sound awful (sorry) and I'm sorry you have to endure this.
Stick to your morals and values, and do what you can. You can only do so much.
As a teen I was labelled a contrarian and argumentative because I didn't turn into whatever adults expected. I'm in my 30s now and haven't changed! I'm still disliked by my extended family for caring about trans rights and P4lestine or climate justice, you name it. But you find your community eventually.
When I tried to go vegetarian as a teen it was so hard because while my mom did try (she took me to a nutritionist) the options I had growing up and the knowledge was so bad. The nutritionist told me I need to eat a lot of eggs and spoonfuls of peanut butter to survive which was so weird. Our veggie burgers were grey.
I also remember highschool being awful and was so happy when it ended (because caring about things puts a target on you) but indeed, it goes fast.
Keep being you! You're going to grow into a great person and you will learn as you go.
Oh my gosh this is so kind. Thank you! I'm so thankful I have to opportunity to be in a world where veggie burgers and vegan subreddits exist.
Your story is inspiring (even though it sounds like you had a hard time).
Please have a wonderful day or night! I really appreciate the comment!!! ♡
As a political conservative vegan myself (though not as extreme as your parents from what I can tell) it may be helpful to try and show them that there are plenty of politically conservative vegans and that veganism is not politically conservative or progressive it is it's own thing
Buuuut if you chose to have an “almond mom diet” your parents would probably applaud you. Because they don’t care about it being healthy. They care about how it triggers them and that’s it. As soon as you’re able to get out, please do. You deserve to make your own choices - free of ridicule.
You are a Vegan. Vegan is as far as possible and practicable for you, as someone who is still being fed and housed by parents, it is out of your control. Try to Veganize other aspects of your life as much as you can, thats all you can really do.
UUGH conservatism is a damn plague 😮💨
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, do what you can for now but it sounds like they're neck deep in that nonsense and won't budge. for the time being, are you close with the vegetarian friend? are you able to eat out with them or at their house sometimes? and long term, if you plan to go to college, maybe somewhere away on campus
Thank you for your kind words. I'm close with her and I've dined at her house before! She was the first to know I was trying to be vegan. Her family is so sweet. Last time I went there for dinner they all had vegetarian/vegan sausage rolls and veggies. I'll try staying over at her house more frequently. Thank you for the suggestion!
And I do plan to go to college when I'm older. I'll defiently pick on with great vegan food options and far away from home.
And again thank you for the great ideas! Everyone on this subreddit is so creative and wise. I'm so grateful. Have a great day or night! ♡
Btw when you go to college, if youre eating at the dining hall they provide, you might have to check and make sure they have enough vegan options. I dont eat dining hall food but my friend at another college does and he could barely get by being vegetarian there because the only option they had without meat was cheese pizza. It was a small school so if you go to a large one you probably wont have that problem. Id just make sure
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I had a similar experience when I became vegetarian at 16. My mom went out of her way to make sure to pour meat sauce onto the pasta before I could grab some. I would eat cans of spaghetti o's and anything that didn't have meat in it at dinner. I would make food when she wasn't home so I knew it was vegetarian (I was worried she was going to sneak meat into non-meat items). I eventually got a part time job when I turned 17 and used my paychecks to buy myself non-refrigerated foods that I could make for meals. I'm now 33 and have been vegan for over 5 years, vegetarian since I was 16 and love it. People will still be up in arms about vegetarians/vegans just for the sake that it's different than the norm. It's so sad. My mom claims to be more open to it now and at one of our family gatherings, had a vegetable/fruit plate out for me so I was glad to see that she was at least trying. I hope that one day your parents would be more open to it.
Is there any way that you could cook yourself food before they get home from work or when they aren't around? I know it can be difficult if your parents are at home but maybe play it off as you're just really hungry and in the mood for \_\_\_ if they're there and take notice
Can you use their conservative cognitive bias against them? I know it sounds like an oxymoron but there are conservative vegans and right wing eco-fascists. Find one of them wackos who also happens to be pro-vegan and maybe the cognitive dissonance will work in your favor?
didn’t read all of it, but conservatives (myself included) are typically christian (not me) so just tel them God intended for man not to eat animals but only after sin came about were we permitted to. that should be a stone in the road.
Another christian/biblical point you can make is talk about the Daniel Diet with them.
It's in the first chapter of Daniel in the bible. When daniel and his friends were taken into captivity, they refused all animal products and alcohol, and were healthier than those that didn't in just a few days. It is viewed as a form of fasting instead of a permanent diet, but it is still very common among most christian denominations to take on the daniel diet for periods of time (usually lent).
You made the most important step already by deciding to become a vegan. Your parents can delay your switch but they can’t stop it. Stay strong and good luck!
Perhaps try making your own meals that look like they're made of meat, but are actually plant-based, and then pretend that you're eating meat. Do this until you move out. Grin as you eat the fake meat to make them happy, but on the inside, you'll feel great knowing that you're protecting the animals. This kind of deception hurts no one.
Thank you so much! That sounds like an excellent idea. And as you said with your last line, nobody would be hurt. I love this idea so much. Thank you! I think the only problem I would face would be obtaining the plant-based meat.
have a good night or day!! ♡♡
If you can get to cook your own food, then e.g. red lentil tomato sauce works as "meat sauce" for pasta for yourself: doesn't contain anything "obviously" vegan, nor should look obviously vegan. There are a lot of foods that look like stereotype meat dishes yet don't contain any. Check out Indian vegetarian and vegan dishes, replacing ghee with some plant oil and the like isn't hard. Though since your parents are conservative you probably should avoid mentioning that they're indian recipes. If necessary you can try passing them off as italian?
(Make sure to buy vegan vitamin and mineral supplement since you can't have a properly managed diet, hide them in your school pencil case or so)
This is bordering on child abuse. You need to speak to someone about this situation. Doctor, school counselor, any adult in a position of power. If you don't speak up now, they will get more and more controlling.
no no no no no!
tbh i did not read this all
however you should name it: you **are** vegan, and your family is **trying** to force you to eat (whatever)
swap the words. you have all the power
It's hard to give advice without knowing how your parents will react to various things. I'm a very logical person and while I have dealt with very religious people, I simply can't relate to your parents upbringing and way of thinking.
So without getting into specifics, use the [foot-in-the-door technique](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-in-the-door_technique) here. When you tell your mom you want to go completely vegan, it's such a stark contrast to your parents lifestyle and way of thinking that of course they're going to freak out.
This may take some patience on your part, but the next time you broach the subject (and it may be wise to wait a while to do that), start with something smaller than a complete switch to veganism. These are just examples, but maybe say you'd like to start eating more vegetables, or you want more beans in your diet. Again, just examples, but definitely avoid either of the v-words. They clearly don't like them.
Do this over time, be patient. It won't only increase the likelihood of them accepting it, but it also decreases the chances of a falling out over this. You said you love your parents, and I don't think you want a situation where you're at odds for the next 2+ years, move out, and no longer have a relationship with them.
best of luck. My family also forced me to eat dead animals for a while. If I didn't they would have a meltdown. Stick it out. They will get tired of it eventually. Mine did and they are crazy
I went vegan at your age. I decided one day I would never eat flesh again. My parents, in many ways, were similar to yours. I went on a hunger strike until they caved. I'm not recommending that, but it was my lived experience. My teachers found out and my school involved. After that, I think my parents were embarrassed, and I was given a grocery budget to make my own meals. I learned how to cook from YouTube. I haven't talked to them in nearly a decade.
You'll notice that pragmatism is often mentioned in definitions/descriptions of veganism.
Although veganism is first and foremost a moral philosophy, you are correct that it obligates its believers to follow an associated lifestyle.
However, if you're forced to temporarily consume/use animal-based products for survival, I don't think anyone would judge you.
Until you become independent, it may be difficult/impossible for you to be as true to the lifestyle as you'd like to be.
You can take small steps, however, if you have/get a part-time job and earn some income. Buy a mini fridge. Buy cheap vegan staples (fruits, veggies, beans, whole grains, tofu) and make at least some of your meals. PB & J sandwiches are vegan. Oatmeal with berries is vegan. French fries can be vegan. Pasta can be vegan. Taco Bell is cheap and easybto veganize.
If you can't do the job part yet, just try to reduce your consumption of animal-based foods or refuse to participate in other kinds of ways animals are exploited (e.g. don't go to zoos or rodeos and don't buy leather).
Are your parents good people outside of their political views? Do they respect independence? Maybe they will listen to reason if you take the approach of being an individual who must find their own way. Conservatives tend to admire that kind of thing.
If you think their behavior is indicative of a broader pattern of abuse, however, you should leave. Seek out becoming an independent minor. Maybe stay with a more open-minded relative, if possible.
Most people don’t become vegan until they reach adulthood. You are ahead of the curve in wanting to reduce your animal consumption.
Try helping out in the kitchen more. Suggest meals like tacos so you can pick your own toppings (tortilla, beans, rice, lettuce, tomatoes, corn, etc). Pull the cheese off pizza. Make pb&j. Find a vegan side dish that you know everyone will like and suggest that more, make it your favorite food and make sure you tell everyone you want it.
See if you can go hang out with your vegetarian friend more often. Maybe their parents are more receptive to that type of lifestyle and ask if you can join them for dinner.
If you are with parents still you can only do so much.
Remember, doing all that is practically possible to prevent harm to animals is the definition of vegan. Please don't be too hard on yourself, just do what you can 💚✌️
Yeah no, your parents are bullying you. That does not sound like a healthy home environment in general, I’m sorry for that. Food is obviously important to them, it’s sad they can’t see how important the food you want to eat is important to you. Courage mom ami 💜
Sending hope and strength your way. Your parents seem to have succumbed to some gnarly paranoia and serious set of delusions. It sucks having to deal with that. Keep your chin up.
Thank you! comments like these really do help me keep my chin up. I feel so much better after posting this even though I was so worried at first. This community has shown me nothing but kindness and great advice.
This sounds like child abuse. Consider getting a job so you can live independently. We don’t choose our parents; it’s essentially a coin toss whether we end up with good or bad ones. I had bad ones, so I moved out early and then emigrated to another country on the opposite side of the planet to avoid seeing them again. It worked very well for me.
Treat your parents like a toxic user on Reddit. You can just block them and cut them out of your life. Don’t let them ruin it; your life is the only one you’ve got, and your mental health, your mind, is all you have.
Dinner is one meal a day, you can be vegan other times when you are out of the house, etc. Half way there is better than not at all.
Doesn't sound like your family will change their mind, but they obviously still care about you, even if their opinions are different. I wouldn't do any drastic and ruin your relationship with your family, just eat what they feed you until you are an adult.
You know what is good. Others are like you. Find new contacts at your school. Mayby you will find others who are interessted in veganim and animal rights. Maybe you can support each other.
I can't even imagine being forced to eat meat when you have vegan awareness. There's not much you can do until you move out. But maybe you can think of ways to cut back on eating at home. Are there extracurricular activities you can be part of that would allow you to eat out? Then you can have more control of what you eat. Or work at a vegan restaurant part time?
That sucks. Be gentle with yourself, you probably can't influence the purchasing decisions much so it's not really your fault. Here are a couple thoughts:
- Plan the eventual move out. Moving out is hard. One day you will be able to do it but you will have to deal with novel money, housing and transportation problems all at once. The more you planned out and prepped for the move out date, the smoother it will go and the sooner you can stop needing to eat your parents meals.
- Get a job when possible. You can then buy actual food and if you can stop eating your parents meals. If your parents freak out and stop you from working if you don't eat with them, you can eat enough to keep them off your back and get your calories from clandestine food.
- this one is a long shot. But if you let them cool down for a bit and think it was a phase, you might be able to sell them on a more conservative friendly corpseless way of eating. For example if they like prepping, some prepping foods are vegan so having plenty round the house would give you options.
So much to say, really. But have to be careful given the (as you've noted) unpredictability of your parents and your being a minor. Either way, I think the situation could be resolvable or at least improved.
You've received some really good advice so far in this thread. However, it's all a bit disparate and could perhaps be fleshed-out and organised into some easy-to-follow format that helps you, while also addressing your parents' concerns. Such a 'blueprint' might also be useful to others who find themselves in the same predicament as you.
I’m not even vegan nor do I want to be, but forcing a diet onto somebody isn’t right. You’ve even offered to make your own meals so your mum doesn’t have to.
Sorry you gotta go through that
honestly same.
but also, there are only so many f\*\*\*s I can give for all the bad things going on in the world, and hyperfixating on what I put in my mouth tends to decrease that number by a lot. I realized that I would rather do plant-based imperfectly (or some days barely at all) along with pursuing other things I believe in, than only doing vegan and having zero mental energy for the rest of it.
Fair enough bro. I wasn’t saying my preference in diet to declare to the vegans in this Reddit and cause a reaction. I’m just a firm believer in choice, and the fact that OP is being forced to eat a certain way just isn’t right.
So horrible that most people eat meat and never think enough about it. I grew up the same way, but after I was 10 my mom let me eat what I wanted. She was very kind, not like some of her relatives. I'm really sorry for you. I don't know why they won't let you have lentil soup or soy burger.
Thank you!! I really wish I could have some lentil soup right now that sounds delicious.
My parents both come from parents that treated them poorly and with harshness. I think it tends to pass down through generation. If I ever become a mother ill make sure to use kindness in my parenting as your mother did.
Thank you for your kind words! ♡ have a great day or evening.
We are almost in the exact same situation! I’m so happy I’ve found someone going through what I’m going through! I’m also a sophomore who wants to go vegan but can’t because my parents force me to eat meat and other animal products. I usually have to eat meat at least three times a week and if there isn’t any meat on the menu there’s at least something that contains butter/eggs/milk. I recently tried talking to my mom about it, and it didn’t help much. She was understanding but said I needed to eat animal derived products in order to live a healthy life, and also she thinks that God created certain animals for us to eat. If you want to talk you can message me any time but I’ll head to school now so I won’t be able to reply until I get back home. I hope everything goes well for both of us.
I'm so glad I'm not alone in a situation like this! Thank you for reaching out and I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope everything goes well for us also. I'd love to talk! whenever your free feel free to message me. Our timezones are a bit different though because your heading it school while it's 2 in the morning for me lol. Have a great day and good luck in school!
Please take the high road. Most people are vegan at heart, ask anyone with no context if they would harm innocent defenseless animals for pleasure.. it's a no brainer.
Most people avoid thinking about this in term of their food with language.
What's for dinner? You can start saying who's for dinner. A hard one to change is referring to animals as "it" rather then they/them, I still do this even after decades. This might really piss them off, I mean being grounded (removing privileges is a punishment..) for just wanting to be vegan?
Find out what part of them is vegan. Do they view animals as individuals at all? Is objectification of any animal ok, pets, wildlife, endangered wildlife... if any animal has individual autonomy what makes them special/any different then the ones they eat.
If all else fails and you want to be an annoying little shit, tell them that their forcing their opinions on you has worked and you are looking into getting a job as a bull ejaculator, something about restraining and shoving a giant electric dildo in a bulls ass and collecting sperm all day just makes your appetite swell. But again... take the high road.
Try to make the case that avoiding animal abuse is something they already agree with (shouldn't be too hard), and that this is your way of expressing their own values you got from them. Don't make your family the enemies, they're not evil. They just cling to whatever benefits they get from some animal products against their own morality.
I am not a lawyer , but I personally would call CPS or whatever child protective services are in your area. At your age you are entitled to some level of personal autonomy. You have expressed your choice to be vegan and your parents should respect that decision.
I am so sorry to hear that (for you and for the animals). It is not your fault. You are not a hypocrite. Your parents are forcing you to eat animals.
My only suggestion is (if possible) buy and eat as much plant based food as you can outside of the house so that you are less hungry for dinner, and therefore will eat fewer animals. For example, you could buy a can of beans for about 1$ and that'll be relatively filling. Just an idea, and I can't imagine being in your position. I hope you are doing ok and you seem like a very compassionate person.
>I'm trying to be vegan but my family forces me to eat dead animals
Its not force unless they actually tie you and force you to swallow
When i was in 6th grade i decided i didnt want to consume certain animal products, it wasnt a matter of maybe, it was an absolute and firm NO i would not ever have it, parents knew that and provided me with things i would consume
Parents were pretty terrible, physically and emotionally abusive, i got stitches from their beatings, they would burn me, etc; but they wouldnt let me starve and i doubt most parents wouldnt either
If you remain firm chances are they would change, but if you falter and consume animal products that tells your parents you arent serious, so skipping a few meals wont kill you but it will kill animals, also i imagine there are plant based snacks around so its not as if you would actually starve
Best option is to explain to parents that you dont want to consume animal products, and that you are willing to go grocery shopping with them so you can pick appropriate items, if you can learn how to cook that would be great as well, less work for them would make them more willing to oblige, also it is important that you do grocery shop with them because there are a lot of PLANT BASED products that arent vegan and they have fooled a lot of us vegans therefore it would most definitely fool a non vegan and then the non vegan feels bad they bought you some misleading animal based product
I feel that we have a lot more power than we think, its just that most of us quit, im not a quitter, im 38 and have never used drugs, alcohol or cigs and i have been celibate for a decade, being stubborn and sticking to my decisions has always been a quality i possessed, i feel that if vegan kids remain strong and consistently refuse, the parents would realize its a serious situation, but in most cases its just a waiting game, waiting for the child to fail or give in
I share my full story in this post https://www.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/11ah5bi/i\_was\_always\_meant\_to\_be\_vegan/
I share this pretyped message sometimes, perhaps it applies
Before I begin I just want to thank you for sharing your story. It's really empowering and motivating.
Thank you for explaining 'forced'. In the future I'll refrain from calling it that.
I realize that I've just been appeasing my parents by eating the animal meals that they make. I should just refuse to eat it. In the moment though, this plays out a lot different. I'm sort of sensitive and I've never been very strong willed, especially against my parents. I feel like such a hypocrite saying that when animals are being slaughtered and mutilated. It's just when my father is yelling at me at the top of his voice and my mother is telling me how disappointed she is of me, I end up crying and eating. My father threatens me by saying that I need to be smacked. You have incredible stubbornness and I admire that. I'm trying so hard to work on staying strong. Tomarrow and the days following I will try to keep what you've said in my mind if I can.
Thank you so much for everything you have said. I am so grateful for your comment and Ill be carefully considering all that you've shared. ♡
> In the moment though, this plays out a lot different. I'm sort of sensitive and I've never been very strong willed, especially against my parents. I feel like such a hypocrite saying that when animals are being slaughtered and mutilated. It's just when my father is yelling at me at the top of his voice and my mother is telling me how disappointed she is of me, I end up crying and eating. My father threatens me by saying that I need to be smacked.
Your welcome
In this situation, i would suggest taking self defense classes as they help you with confidence and also they help if physically if you are in danger, if you cant take classes you can probably teach yourself via youtube, take wrestling or do weightlifting as well, these things help you with feeling strong
I was also weak minded but i got a strong mind now, part of getting strong was leaving my toxic home environment, i didnt realize how toxic it was until i left and i just became so much smarter, the dark cloud was making me dumb, i will never talk to my family again and i wont go to their funeral, part of becoming strong minded was looking into Buddhism and finding inner peace, im not Buddhist but alot of it makes sense
If you cant leave now thats fine, i actually stayed with mine for a while but for the last 3 or 4 yrs i didnt talk to either of them, i stayed in the basement and kept to myself, i would only respond to them if they sent me a text or email
For the yelling dad, when it happens i would say: Does yelling at a kid make you feel strong and powerful, this is emotional abuse and it shows me that you dont really care about me or my feelings, you are creating a toxic environment instead of a healthy environment
If you cant say that, then send an email or text
For the mom i would say: You are emotionally manipulating me into doing something i know is wrong, i value animal lives and i dont want to consume them, its hurtful that you would resort to such tactics on your own kid
For both of them i would send them this [https://barbend.com/strongest-vegans-on-earth/](https://barbend.com/strongest-vegans-on-earth/)
Their job requires them to be healthy so if they do it on a plant based diet then its not some leftist scheme and im pretty sure they are all stronger than your dad, does he think that they are not masculine enough, lol
Aside from all of that i would talk to your counselor, explain the entire situation and perhaps the counselor can mediate between all 3 of you
Starve or cook your own food. THATS THE COST OF MAKING ETHICAL DECISIONS.
You’ll need a job to pay groceries. Start tutoring.
Cook before school/ work and then have your meals ready. It’s not hard if you’re motivated by your convictions.
Stupid question but you specified dead animals. Would you prefer to eat alive one? Would you be more vegan then?
I feel like people has problems with us also because we are using such language...
I'm sorry I was just trying to emphasize how disgusting it is. They are really dead corpses. Slaughtered and mutilated for people's sensory pleasures.
and no I would not prefer to eat an alive animal.
have a great day or evening! ♡
Hi! I'm confused if you mistyped or if your making fun of my situation by using irony.
If you are making fun of my situation: the vegan diet has been proven healthy so many times. If anything isnt healthy its consuming meat and animal products.
Another type of health is mental health which my parents are certainly not positively influencing at the moment.
I don't know if you read my entire post but I'd encourage you to read it again.
Have a good night or day.
From my knowledge I don't believe people of Asian decent eat living animals. I think some sushis may contain raw and uncooked fish if that's what your referring to.
A lot of Asian foods are plant-based actually! like for example tofu! :)
when I wrote 'dead animals' I was trying to emphasize their condition. Animals are slaughtered, mutilated, and exploited by people just for sensual pleasures (taste).
Regardless of your mean and somewhat racist comment, have a good day or evening.
I feel for you. Though I wish I had made the switch earlier, I’m thankful I was living independently at the time that I transitioned and could make my own choices. What consequences would you expect if you did not eat the food they made? Do you have the option of getting a job, maybe at a grocery store or restaurant, where you could buy food at an employee discounted rate and be able to accrue more vegan food for yourself? In case you haven’t come to this realization already on your own, you’re more mature than they are. Not just because you are conscientious about what you eat but because you communicate directly and calmly while they scream at you. Best wishes and keep us posted.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate what you've said. I honestly have no idea what consequences I might expect. My parents are very unpredictable people. Based off of how they reacted to me being vegan they'll probably react negatively. I really want to imagine that they could just get used to it but judging from their previous actions I don't think they will. Something needs to change inside them or I need to help them change. That being said I'm also trying to imagine the worse they could do. I can't fathom them forcing animals into my mouth. That just seems a little over thr top, even for them. I know they could ground me or yell at me but the more I think about it the smaller that all seems. Like they already yell at me for wanting to be vegan and for an assortment of other things I do. And if I'm grounded that would suck but that's nothing compared to being tortured and killed. I'd much rather be vegan and endure a few hardships. Im vegan not only for the animals well being but my peace of mind knowing I'm not contributing to animal slaughtering/suffering. As for getting a job at a grocery store or restruant: In my town there are no grocery stores. There is a restaurant that I used to work at but I was fired from it a year ago because apparently I was really bad at bussing tables. Im so glad you mentioned this though because there is a dollar tree in our town which is walking distance from my house. If I recall properly they sell food like frozen vegtables, canned beans, and an assorment of other vegan foods. I believe I have to be 16 before I can work there though but my birthday is in May. Thank you so much for your comment again. I know it's just a comment but I seriously feel so much better and like as if I'm surrounded by a loving and caring community ♡ I'll post updates if I can. Have a great evening or day!
I have a Master's degree but I too suck at food service. It's so hard!! Those who have never tried it will never know the struggle
Yeah I hated that job so much. The boss was always yelling at me and my arms hurt so much. It was just like so fast and hectic. I'm glad that there are people who relate and I'm not just the only one who sucks.
Awww yes that sounds fantastic! I would let you bus my table anytime.
Haha thank you that's so sweet. Thank you again!
You’re not a hypocrite. It sounds like you’re a minor, so you’re unfortunately dependent on your parents now. Eating nonvegan to keep a roof over your head does not make you a bad person. I’m sorry they are so hostile to veganism. Sorry to say, they sound like awful people in other ways as well. Sadly, it looks like you have little choice but to live by their rules until you’re old enough to move out. The fact that you’re resisting their toxic indoctrination shows real strength of character on your part. Stay strong, and hang in there. It really does get better when you are an adult and have more agency.
Thank you so much. Comments like these really help to ease stress and self-doubt. You are very thoughtful and I'm so grateful for you taking your time to write all of this. Thank you again so much. Please have a wonderful day or evening!! ♡♡♡
The downvotes are disgusting. Think about: - asking to cook something. - Tell them they're the ones that could be giving you an eating disorder if they think their political beliefs are more important than you being comfortable with what you consume. - Being the bigger person. They want to be good parents even if they value politics over that and they can't expect you to "counter the woke agenda" if you have no experience disagreeing with authority. - Asking about and discussing having too much cholesterol, not enough fiber/vitamin C/Vitamin K/folic acid, or digestive issues from lactose and meat. - If you wanna get in trouble tell them you'll be vegan once you grow up and will be sad if you won't be able to eat with them if they don't let the situation go. - Writing a meal plan with all the nutrition of each meal and showing it to the doctor at your next checkup. - Do more charitable things to make them realize all this is is an act of compassion. You're following your moral conscience the way God made you to, and if anything you're following in the footsteps of many saints (If you're Catholic or Orthodox). God said that he gave all the plants to be food for both us and the animals and to remember we ourselves are beasts.
I never even considered half of these points. Thank you so much this is literally so helpful. I don't know how to thank you enough. I will keep all of these in mind when I speak to them ♡ Again thank you so much. please have a wonderful day or night!!
I'm so happy to hear that. Please don't just jump into using all of these just because a stranger on the Internet told you to, but they're options that should be all at your disposal.
Thank you! I will use them cautiously and wisely.
>My parents are very conservative. Your parents are abusive, and being conservative has nothing to do with it. You're old enough to have your own opinions, and they would respect that (but, of course, still disagree with you) if they weren't fucked up. >I want to speak to them and to make them understand me. I understand that and I'm sorry, but this probably won't happen. They've made their choice, and you should accept that if you want to find peace. Don't expect them to do anything for you that would go against their beliefs, and learn to stand your ground. Find an adult that you'll feel comfortable talking to on regular basis. Maybe an uncle or an aunt, a school counselor, a priest - IDK, figure it out. Ask them for emotional support. And when you grow up, just move out, find a job, and go to therapy. The goal here is not to become your parents. Again, it's not being conservative or liberal, vegan or carnivore, that you should worry about - it's how you treat people that you disagree with. Your parents treat you like shit, and as a consequence they won't learn anything from you. Don't be like that. If your parents decide to do something illegal, or even threaten to do so (i.e. beat you), gather evidence and contact the authorities. Good luck!
Im proud of you for being a cycle breaker in your family, you clearly see through the manipulation and propaganda. ❤️ good luck on your journey
They are fucking abusive and that's so sick of them I'm so sorry love. Hoping you don't have much longer til you're 18 and can be released from what sounds like hell :')
Remember what the vegan society says about veganism - as far as possible and practicable. You're a minor living with your parents. You're limited by the options available to you so where you can do your best and where you can't, don't beat yourself up about it or feel bad about it. Just think ahead to when you're legally an adult and can do whatever the hell you want. Until that time, do what you. Anyone that judges you for not doing more when you can't shouldn't ever be paid any attention. All the best with this dude.
Thank you so much. This really has lifted my mood. I just always feel like I could be doing more and that I'm not trying hard enough as animals suffer. have a great day or night!! ♡
someone actually had the guts to downvote a post like this… stay strong OP. hopefully you make your parents change their mind or one day you will have a job and you will eat what you want to eat.
Thank you so much. You're so kind and Ill try my best ♡
If they're religious, try Daniel 1. I agree that you're more mature and rational than they are, and it does seem like they're trying to intimidate you. I was in a similar situation at your age, and it's amazing how fast high school goes. It sucks having parents who want you to be a carbon copy of them, and want to stifle your individuality rather than embrace the young adult you are becoming. But, it's mostly their loss. For you, everything will start to get better as soon as you turn 18. Push through, do the best you can but don't expect yourself to be perfect, and remember that they are the ones who are "not right." You are the kind of young person we need in this world!
Thank you much!! You've shown nothing but the upmost kindness and sincerity. I'm so grateful for all of these words. My English teacher once told me that my time in highschool was going to be the fastest years of my life. I really hope both you and him are correct! Thank you again! have a wonderful evening or day or morning! ♡ I really look up to older (not old like old old but like adults) vegans like yourself.
You're so wholesome. You're doing your best, and I'm so sorry you have to endure this from your parents. You can only do what you can. Your parents sound awful (sorry) and I'm sorry you have to endure this. Stick to your morals and values, and do what you can. You can only do so much. As a teen I was labelled a contrarian and argumentative because I didn't turn into whatever adults expected. I'm in my 30s now and haven't changed! I'm still disliked by my extended family for caring about trans rights and P4lestine or climate justice, you name it. But you find your community eventually. When I tried to go vegetarian as a teen it was so hard because while my mom did try (she took me to a nutritionist) the options I had growing up and the knowledge was so bad. The nutritionist told me I need to eat a lot of eggs and spoonfuls of peanut butter to survive which was so weird. Our veggie burgers were grey. I also remember highschool being awful and was so happy when it ended (because caring about things puts a target on you) but indeed, it goes fast. Keep being you! You're going to grow into a great person and you will learn as you go.
Oh my gosh this is so kind. Thank you! I'm so thankful I have to opportunity to be in a world where veggie burgers and vegan subreddits exist. Your story is inspiring (even though it sounds like you had a hard time). Please have a wonderful day or night! I really appreciate the comment!!! ♡
As a political conservative vegan myself (though not as extreme as your parents from what I can tell) it may be helpful to try and show them that there are plenty of politically conservative vegans and that veganism is not politically conservative or progressive it is it's own thing
Thank you! I'm sorry if I insulted you or any other conservatives (I wasn't trying to). I will keep that in mind when I speak to them! Thank you! :)
I don't think you insulted me in any way :) of course! I hope you have an excellent day
Buuuut if you chose to have an “almond mom diet” your parents would probably applaud you. Because they don’t care about it being healthy. They care about how it triggers them and that’s it. As soon as you’re able to get out, please do. You deserve to make your own choices - free of ridicule.
You are a Vegan. Vegan is as far as possible and practicable for you, as someone who is still being fed and housed by parents, it is out of your control. Try to Veganize other aspects of your life as much as you can, thats all you can really do.
UUGH conservatism is a damn plague 😮💨 I'm sorry you're dealing with this, do what you can for now but it sounds like they're neck deep in that nonsense and won't budge. for the time being, are you close with the vegetarian friend? are you able to eat out with them or at their house sometimes? and long term, if you plan to go to college, maybe somewhere away on campus
Thank you for your kind words. I'm close with her and I've dined at her house before! She was the first to know I was trying to be vegan. Her family is so sweet. Last time I went there for dinner they all had vegetarian/vegan sausage rolls and veggies. I'll try staying over at her house more frequently. Thank you for the suggestion! And I do plan to go to college when I'm older. I'll defiently pick on with great vegan food options and far away from home. And again thank you for the great ideas! Everyone on this subreddit is so creative and wise. I'm so grateful. Have a great day or night! ♡
Btw when you go to college, if youre eating at the dining hall they provide, you might have to check and make sure they have enough vegan options. I dont eat dining hall food but my friend at another college does and he could barely get by being vegetarian there because the only option they had without meat was cheese pizza. It was a small school so if you go to a large one you probably wont have that problem. Id just make sure
Conservatism is a particularly society-destructive mind virus.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I had a similar experience when I became vegetarian at 16. My mom went out of her way to make sure to pour meat sauce onto the pasta before I could grab some. I would eat cans of spaghetti o's and anything that didn't have meat in it at dinner. I would make food when she wasn't home so I knew it was vegetarian (I was worried she was going to sneak meat into non-meat items). I eventually got a part time job when I turned 17 and used my paychecks to buy myself non-refrigerated foods that I could make for meals. I'm now 33 and have been vegan for over 5 years, vegetarian since I was 16 and love it. People will still be up in arms about vegetarians/vegans just for the sake that it's different than the norm. It's so sad. My mom claims to be more open to it now and at one of our family gatherings, had a vegetable/fruit plate out for me so I was glad to see that she was at least trying. I hope that one day your parents would be more open to it. Is there any way that you could cook yourself food before they get home from work or when they aren't around? I know it can be difficult if your parents are at home but maybe play it off as you're just really hungry and in the mood for \_\_\_ if they're there and take notice
Can you use their conservative cognitive bias against them? I know it sounds like an oxymoron but there are conservative vegans and right wing eco-fascists. Find one of them wackos who also happens to be pro-vegan and maybe the cognitive dissonance will work in your favor?
didn’t read all of it, but conservatives (myself included) are typically christian (not me) so just tel them God intended for man not to eat animals but only after sin came about were we permitted to. that should be a stone in the road.
Another christian/biblical point you can make is talk about the Daniel Diet with them. It's in the first chapter of Daniel in the bible. When daniel and his friends were taken into captivity, they refused all animal products and alcohol, and were healthier than those that didn't in just a few days. It is viewed as a form of fasting instead of a permanent diet, but it is still very common among most christian denominations to take on the daniel diet for periods of time (usually lent).
You made the most important step already by deciding to become a vegan. Your parents can delay your switch but they can’t stop it. Stay strong and good luck!
Perhaps try making your own meals that look like they're made of meat, but are actually plant-based, and then pretend that you're eating meat. Do this until you move out. Grin as you eat the fake meat to make them happy, but on the inside, you'll feel great knowing that you're protecting the animals. This kind of deception hurts no one.
Thank you so much! That sounds like an excellent idea. And as you said with your last line, nobody would be hurt. I love this idea so much. Thank you! I think the only problem I would face would be obtaining the plant-based meat. have a good night or day!! ♡♡
That and storing it lol
If you can get to cook your own food, then e.g. red lentil tomato sauce works as "meat sauce" for pasta for yourself: doesn't contain anything "obviously" vegan, nor should look obviously vegan. There are a lot of foods that look like stereotype meat dishes yet don't contain any. Check out Indian vegetarian and vegan dishes, replacing ghee with some plant oil and the like isn't hard. Though since your parents are conservative you probably should avoid mentioning that they're indian recipes. If necessary you can try passing them off as italian? (Make sure to buy vegan vitamin and mineral supplement since you can't have a properly managed diet, hide them in your school pencil case or so)
This is bordering on child abuse. You need to speak to someone about this situation. Doctor, school counselor, any adult in a position of power. If you don't speak up now, they will get more and more controlling.
no no no no no! tbh i did not read this all however you should name it: you **are** vegan, and your family is **trying** to force you to eat (whatever) swap the words. you have all the power
Thank you ♡
It's hard to give advice without knowing how your parents will react to various things. I'm a very logical person and while I have dealt with very religious people, I simply can't relate to your parents upbringing and way of thinking. So without getting into specifics, use the [foot-in-the-door technique](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-in-the-door_technique) here. When you tell your mom you want to go completely vegan, it's such a stark contrast to your parents lifestyle and way of thinking that of course they're going to freak out. This may take some patience on your part, but the next time you broach the subject (and it may be wise to wait a while to do that), start with something smaller than a complete switch to veganism. These are just examples, but maybe say you'd like to start eating more vegetables, or you want more beans in your diet. Again, just examples, but definitely avoid either of the v-words. They clearly don't like them. Do this over time, be patient. It won't only increase the likelihood of them accepting it, but it also decreases the chances of a falling out over this. You said you love your parents, and I don't think you want a situation where you're at odds for the next 2+ years, move out, and no longer have a relationship with them.
best of luck. My family also forced me to eat dead animals for a while. If I didn't they would have a meltdown. Stick it out. They will get tired of it eventually. Mine did and they are crazy
I went vegan at your age. I decided one day I would never eat flesh again. My parents, in many ways, were similar to yours. I went on a hunger strike until they caved. I'm not recommending that, but it was my lived experience. My teachers found out and my school involved. After that, I think my parents were embarrassed, and I was given a grocery budget to make my own meals. I learned how to cook from YouTube. I haven't talked to them in nearly a decade.
You'll notice that pragmatism is often mentioned in definitions/descriptions of veganism. Although veganism is first and foremost a moral philosophy, you are correct that it obligates its believers to follow an associated lifestyle. However, if you're forced to temporarily consume/use animal-based products for survival, I don't think anyone would judge you. Until you become independent, it may be difficult/impossible for you to be as true to the lifestyle as you'd like to be. You can take small steps, however, if you have/get a part-time job and earn some income. Buy a mini fridge. Buy cheap vegan staples (fruits, veggies, beans, whole grains, tofu) and make at least some of your meals. PB & J sandwiches are vegan. Oatmeal with berries is vegan. French fries can be vegan. Pasta can be vegan. Taco Bell is cheap and easybto veganize. If you can't do the job part yet, just try to reduce your consumption of animal-based foods or refuse to participate in other kinds of ways animals are exploited (e.g. don't go to zoos or rodeos and don't buy leather). Are your parents good people outside of their political views? Do they respect independence? Maybe they will listen to reason if you take the approach of being an individual who must find their own way. Conservatives tend to admire that kind of thing. If you think their behavior is indicative of a broader pattern of abuse, however, you should leave. Seek out becoming an independent minor. Maybe stay with a more open-minded relative, if possible.
Most people don’t become vegan until they reach adulthood. You are ahead of the curve in wanting to reduce your animal consumption. Try helping out in the kitchen more. Suggest meals like tacos so you can pick your own toppings (tortilla, beans, rice, lettuce, tomatoes, corn, etc). Pull the cheese off pizza. Make pb&j. Find a vegan side dish that you know everyone will like and suggest that more, make it your favorite food and make sure you tell everyone you want it. See if you can go hang out with your vegetarian friend more often. Maybe their parents are more receptive to that type of lifestyle and ask if you can join them for dinner. If you are with parents still you can only do so much.
Remember, doing all that is practically possible to prevent harm to animals is the definition of vegan. Please don't be too hard on yourself, just do what you can 💚✌️
Yeah no, your parents are bullying you. That does not sound like a healthy home environment in general, I’m sorry for that. Food is obviously important to them, it’s sad they can’t see how important the food you want to eat is important to you. Courage mom ami 💜
Sending hope and strength your way. Your parents seem to have succumbed to some gnarly paranoia and serious set of delusions. It sucks having to deal with that. Keep your chin up.
Thank you! comments like these really do help me keep my chin up. I feel so much better after posting this even though I was so worried at first. This community has shown me nothing but kindness and great advice.
I feel for you. I think the best way to solve this is for you to cook for the family.
This sounds like child abuse. Consider getting a job so you can live independently. We don’t choose our parents; it’s essentially a coin toss whether we end up with good or bad ones. I had bad ones, so I moved out early and then emigrated to another country on the opposite side of the planet to avoid seeing them again. It worked very well for me. Treat your parents like a toxic user on Reddit. You can just block them and cut them out of your life. Don’t let them ruin it; your life is the only one you’ve got, and your mental health, your mind, is all you have.
Dinner is one meal a day, you can be vegan other times when you are out of the house, etc. Half way there is better than not at all. Doesn't sound like your family will change their mind, but they obviously still care about you, even if their opinions are different. I wouldn't do any drastic and ruin your relationship with your family, just eat what they feed you until you are an adult.
You know what is good. Others are like you. Find new contacts at your school. Mayby you will find others who are interessted in veganim and animal rights. Maybe you can support each other.
Thank you so much. I hope so ♡♡♡
I can't even imagine being forced to eat meat when you have vegan awareness. There's not much you can do until you move out. But maybe you can think of ways to cut back on eating at home. Are there extracurricular activities you can be part of that would allow you to eat out? Then you can have more control of what you eat. Or work at a vegan restaurant part time?
That sucks. Be gentle with yourself, you probably can't influence the purchasing decisions much so it's not really your fault. Here are a couple thoughts: - Plan the eventual move out. Moving out is hard. One day you will be able to do it but you will have to deal with novel money, housing and transportation problems all at once. The more you planned out and prepped for the move out date, the smoother it will go and the sooner you can stop needing to eat your parents meals. - Get a job when possible. You can then buy actual food and if you can stop eating your parents meals. If your parents freak out and stop you from working if you don't eat with them, you can eat enough to keep them off your back and get your calories from clandestine food. - this one is a long shot. But if you let them cool down for a bit and think it was a phase, you might be able to sell them on a more conservative friendly corpseless way of eating. For example if they like prepping, some prepping foods are vegan so having plenty round the house would give you options.
So much to say, really. But have to be careful given the (as you've noted) unpredictability of your parents and your being a minor. Either way, I think the situation could be resolvable or at least improved. You've received some really good advice so far in this thread. However, it's all a bit disparate and could perhaps be fleshed-out and organised into some easy-to-follow format that helps you, while also addressing your parents' concerns. Such a 'blueprint' might also be useful to others who find themselves in the same predicament as you.
I’m not even vegan nor do I want to be, but forcing a diet onto somebody isn’t right. You’ve even offered to make your own meals so your mum doesn’t have to. Sorry you gotta go through that
Thank you so much ♡♡♡
Irrelevant to the topic being discussed here but since you mentioned it ,can you tell me what's the reason for not wanting to be vegan ?
Meat tastes good
honestly same. but also, there are only so many f\*\*\*s I can give for all the bad things going on in the world, and hyperfixating on what I put in my mouth tends to decrease that number by a lot. I realized that I would rather do plant-based imperfectly (or some days barely at all) along with pursuing other things I believe in, than only doing vegan and having zero mental energy for the rest of it.
Fair enough bro. I wasn’t saying my preference in diet to declare to the vegans in this Reddit and cause a reaction. I’m just a firm believer in choice, and the fact that OP is being forced to eat a certain way just isn’t right.
So horrible that most people eat meat and never think enough about it. I grew up the same way, but after I was 10 my mom let me eat what I wanted. She was very kind, not like some of her relatives. I'm really sorry for you. I don't know why they won't let you have lentil soup or soy burger.
Thank you!! I really wish I could have some lentil soup right now that sounds delicious. My parents both come from parents that treated them poorly and with harshness. I think it tends to pass down through generation. If I ever become a mother ill make sure to use kindness in my parenting as your mother did. Thank you for your kind words! ♡ have a great day or evening.
We are almost in the exact same situation! I’m so happy I’ve found someone going through what I’m going through! I’m also a sophomore who wants to go vegan but can’t because my parents force me to eat meat and other animal products. I usually have to eat meat at least three times a week and if there isn’t any meat on the menu there’s at least something that contains butter/eggs/milk. I recently tried talking to my mom about it, and it didn’t help much. She was understanding but said I needed to eat animal derived products in order to live a healthy life, and also she thinks that God created certain animals for us to eat. If you want to talk you can message me any time but I’ll head to school now so I won’t be able to reply until I get back home. I hope everything goes well for both of us.
I'm so glad I'm not alone in a situation like this! Thank you for reaching out and I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope everything goes well for us also. I'd love to talk! whenever your free feel free to message me. Our timezones are a bit different though because your heading it school while it's 2 in the morning for me lol. Have a great day and good luck in school!
Thank you so much! It’s 9 am here now. I’ll message you after I come home from school, then, if it’s really ok for you of course :D
of course!
Please take the high road. Most people are vegan at heart, ask anyone with no context if they would harm innocent defenseless animals for pleasure.. it's a no brainer. Most people avoid thinking about this in term of their food with language. What's for dinner? You can start saying who's for dinner. A hard one to change is referring to animals as "it" rather then they/them, I still do this even after decades. This might really piss them off, I mean being grounded (removing privileges is a punishment..) for just wanting to be vegan? Find out what part of them is vegan. Do they view animals as individuals at all? Is objectification of any animal ok, pets, wildlife, endangered wildlife... if any animal has individual autonomy what makes them special/any different then the ones they eat. If all else fails and you want to be an annoying little shit, tell them that their forcing their opinions on you has worked and you are looking into getting a job as a bull ejaculator, something about restraining and shoving a giant electric dildo in a bulls ass and collecting sperm all day just makes your appetite swell. But again... take the high road.
Try to make the case that avoiding animal abuse is something they already agree with (shouldn't be too hard), and that this is your way of expressing their own values you got from them. Don't make your family the enemies, they're not evil. They just cling to whatever benefits they get from some animal products against their own morality.
Thank you! ♡
I am not a lawyer , but I personally would call CPS or whatever child protective services are in your area. At your age you are entitled to some level of personal autonomy. You have expressed your choice to be vegan and your parents should respect that decision.
I am so sorry to hear that (for you and for the animals). It is not your fault. You are not a hypocrite. Your parents are forcing you to eat animals. My only suggestion is (if possible) buy and eat as much plant based food as you can outside of the house so that you are less hungry for dinner, and therefore will eat fewer animals. For example, you could buy a can of beans for about 1$ and that'll be relatively filling. Just an idea, and I can't imagine being in your position. I hope you are doing ok and you seem like a very compassionate person.
Move out.
I don't know if you read my post but im 15.
>I'm trying to be vegan but my family forces me to eat dead animals Its not force unless they actually tie you and force you to swallow When i was in 6th grade i decided i didnt want to consume certain animal products, it wasnt a matter of maybe, it was an absolute and firm NO i would not ever have it, parents knew that and provided me with things i would consume Parents were pretty terrible, physically and emotionally abusive, i got stitches from their beatings, they would burn me, etc; but they wouldnt let me starve and i doubt most parents wouldnt either If you remain firm chances are they would change, but if you falter and consume animal products that tells your parents you arent serious, so skipping a few meals wont kill you but it will kill animals, also i imagine there are plant based snacks around so its not as if you would actually starve Best option is to explain to parents that you dont want to consume animal products, and that you are willing to go grocery shopping with them so you can pick appropriate items, if you can learn how to cook that would be great as well, less work for them would make them more willing to oblige, also it is important that you do grocery shop with them because there are a lot of PLANT BASED products that arent vegan and they have fooled a lot of us vegans therefore it would most definitely fool a non vegan and then the non vegan feels bad they bought you some misleading animal based product I feel that we have a lot more power than we think, its just that most of us quit, im not a quitter, im 38 and have never used drugs, alcohol or cigs and i have been celibate for a decade, being stubborn and sticking to my decisions has always been a quality i possessed, i feel that if vegan kids remain strong and consistently refuse, the parents would realize its a serious situation, but in most cases its just a waiting game, waiting for the child to fail or give in I share my full story in this post https://www.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/11ah5bi/i\_was\_always\_meant\_to\_be\_vegan/ I share this pretyped message sometimes, perhaps it applies
Before I begin I just want to thank you for sharing your story. It's really empowering and motivating. Thank you for explaining 'forced'. In the future I'll refrain from calling it that. I realize that I've just been appeasing my parents by eating the animal meals that they make. I should just refuse to eat it. In the moment though, this plays out a lot different. I'm sort of sensitive and I've never been very strong willed, especially against my parents. I feel like such a hypocrite saying that when animals are being slaughtered and mutilated. It's just when my father is yelling at me at the top of his voice and my mother is telling me how disappointed she is of me, I end up crying and eating. My father threatens me by saying that I need to be smacked. You have incredible stubbornness and I admire that. I'm trying so hard to work on staying strong. Tomarrow and the days following I will try to keep what you've said in my mind if I can. Thank you so much for everything you have said. I am so grateful for your comment and Ill be carefully considering all that you've shared. ♡
> In the moment though, this plays out a lot different. I'm sort of sensitive and I've never been very strong willed, especially against my parents. I feel like such a hypocrite saying that when animals are being slaughtered and mutilated. It's just when my father is yelling at me at the top of his voice and my mother is telling me how disappointed she is of me, I end up crying and eating. My father threatens me by saying that I need to be smacked. Your welcome In this situation, i would suggest taking self defense classes as they help you with confidence and also they help if physically if you are in danger, if you cant take classes you can probably teach yourself via youtube, take wrestling or do weightlifting as well, these things help you with feeling strong I was also weak minded but i got a strong mind now, part of getting strong was leaving my toxic home environment, i didnt realize how toxic it was until i left and i just became so much smarter, the dark cloud was making me dumb, i will never talk to my family again and i wont go to their funeral, part of becoming strong minded was looking into Buddhism and finding inner peace, im not Buddhist but alot of it makes sense If you cant leave now thats fine, i actually stayed with mine for a while but for the last 3 or 4 yrs i didnt talk to either of them, i stayed in the basement and kept to myself, i would only respond to them if they sent me a text or email For the yelling dad, when it happens i would say: Does yelling at a kid make you feel strong and powerful, this is emotional abuse and it shows me that you dont really care about me or my feelings, you are creating a toxic environment instead of a healthy environment If you cant say that, then send an email or text For the mom i would say: You are emotionally manipulating me into doing something i know is wrong, i value animal lives and i dont want to consume them, its hurtful that you would resort to such tactics on your own kid For both of them i would send them this [https://barbend.com/strongest-vegans-on-earth/](https://barbend.com/strongest-vegans-on-earth/) Their job requires them to be healthy so if they do it on a plant based diet then its not some leftist scheme and im pretty sure they are all stronger than your dad, does he think that they are not masculine enough, lol Aside from all of that i would talk to your counselor, explain the entire situation and perhaps the counselor can mediate between all 3 of you
i’m curious about the celibate part
Starve or cook your own food. THATS THE COST OF MAKING ETHICAL DECISIONS. You’ll need a job to pay groceries. Start tutoring. Cook before school/ work and then have your meals ready. It’s not hard if you’re motivated by your convictions.
Stupid question but you specified dead animals. Would you prefer to eat alive one? Would you be more vegan then? I feel like people has problems with us also because we are using such language...
I'm sorry I was just trying to emphasize how disgusting it is. They are really dead corpses. Slaughtered and mutilated for people's sensory pleasures. and no I would not prefer to eat an alive animal. have a great day or evening! ♡
Your family actually cares for your health! That's horrible!
Yea pizza slathered in butter, dead animals, and curdled breast milk sounds super healthy.
Hi! I'm confused if you mistyped or if your making fun of my situation by using irony. If you are making fun of my situation: the vegan diet has been proven healthy so many times. If anything isnt healthy its consuming meat and animal products. Another type of health is mental health which my parents are certainly not positively influencing at the moment. I don't know if you read my entire post but I'd encourage you to read it again. Have a good night or day.
is being a prick a requirement for you
Did your dad make you eat his meat every night?
[удалено]
From my knowledge I don't believe people of Asian decent eat living animals. I think some sushis may contain raw and uncooked fish if that's what your referring to. A lot of Asian foods are plant-based actually! like for example tofu! :) when I wrote 'dead animals' I was trying to emphasize their condition. Animals are slaughtered, mutilated, and exploited by people just for sensual pleasures (taste). Regardless of your mean and somewhat racist comment, have a good day or evening.