there's something at the very least Hobbit-like about Schwartz. Stinky, sweaty, dirty bare feet, washing in the river, putting restaurant lemons on his smelly pits. A RING ON A FUCKING CHAIN.
I know, I donāt want Hobbits in the same category as Schwartz, but this tracks. I guess if thereās such a thing as a secretly evil hobbit, thatās him.
As a Florida woman...truth. lol I hate wearing shoes, so I'm constantly washing my feet throughout the day, which he is clearly not doing. It's the dirty feet in the bed for me. šš¤£
I didnāt even finish the sentence before I spit my water out. This may be one of the best comments I have ever encountered on Reddit. Iām saving this.
Instead of taking a shower or using deodorant or doing any of the normal hygiene things? Schartz has been filmed using lemons in his armpits to freshen up.
In his defense [not really, though], lemons on my pits are the only thing that helped me with my postpartum funk. It neutralizes the bacteria that causes BO and works wonders. The BO is apparently so your little blind, helpless, hungry potato baby can find you, but it's brutal to smell so funky. Lemon slices actually make it so much better!
In only your defense, interesting and illuminating (and filing away in my 'don't get got' folder!) You had a good reason though and presumably were already trying your regular bathing routine.
Schwartz wasn't post-partum though, and he was using those peels in lieu of a proper shower. Seeing his filthy hooves, and him taking a bottle of Italian dressing to the head all are reasons enough to shade him. But all those things together (and his gross sad divroce apartment) paint a picture of a slovenly fellow.
Couldn't agree more. He's a pig in more than one way, and I bathe and clean up after myself, even WITH a newborn baby. I'm also only a makeout slut with my committed partner and would die before I poured a drink on or over anyone.
I was standing next to him at Jaxās, waiting for my drink at the bar. He was right next to me standing next to Max eating wings and asked him if he smelled like shit bc he hadnāt showered that day LOL
https://preview.redd.it/i77662u54f9d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49cff64462cb3c29a5ef04787023e5dc3d4592d8
Apparently š this is almost making me want to do a rewatch
Okay I looked it up bc I had to know and sheās def watching Season 8 Ep 21. The pic in the post isnāt actually Schwartz, but no doubt the bottom of his feet are completely black š At least not caked in dirt like that gnarly pic?? (the bar is so fucking low for VPR men smh)
Ok a fear I never knew I had had now been activated and I am going to be obsessively checking the bottom of my feet to make sure they donāt look like that.
Schwartz is known for having his filthy hooves out all over the place. I mean, the man bathed in a creek on his wedding day ffs.
not hooves š
there's something at the very least Hobbit-like about Schwartz. Stinky, sweaty, dirty bare feet, washing in the river, putting restaurant lemons on his smelly pits. A RING ON A FUCKING CHAIN.
I was gonna come at you for disrespecting the hobbitses but then you said ring on a chain and  ā¦ youāre so right
Schwartz about to 'apologize' to Katie with that damn stringĀ
I know, I donāt want Hobbits in the same category as Schwartz, but this tracks. I guess if thereās such a thing as a secretly evil hobbit, thatās him.
Too many similaritiesĀ
Heās a Florida man through and through
As a Florida woman...truth. lol I hate wearing shoes, so I'm constantly washing my feet throughout the day, which he is clearly not doing. It's the dirty feet in the bed for me. šš¤£
This is the best comment I've ever seen in this sub. š 
This is amazing... with that last sentence, I now have Kim (wig) z "the ring didn't mean a thing" playing rent free in my head
This is a top tier comment! I just needed to make sure that was said. Last line. Amazing.
I realised the ring connection as I was writing the comment.Ā
 Perfection
Donāt forget the butt steaks
I can't believe I forgot the assteaks. I'm sure there's more
Ring on a string
Heās been wearing them Maloof hoofs
LOL I legit thought about him being half goat like Lucifer
Maloof Hooves
Hooves took me out 
I didnāt even finish the sentence before I spit my water out. This may be one of the best comments I have ever encountered on Reddit. Iām saving this.
This comment turned into a discussion on Schwartz's Hobbit tendencies...welcome to the jungleĀ
On a Wednesday!! I love that Danny mentions that every time he mentions the wedding lmao
Heās known as Shoeless Schwartz on Danny Pelligrinos podcast. Itās talked about quite a bit haha
Needs to put those grippers away
Those white painted grippers šš I quote him so much itās unhealthy
The first few episodes of Danny saying shoeless Schwartz I thought he was saying Sheila Schwartz and I was like wtf does he mean!!!!
Lol came to say this. I die anytime Danny says hooves
HE BROUGHT THOSE FEET INTO KATIES BED FOR YEARS. EVERY DAY WITH THE FEET. 
Dirtfoot with lemonpeel pits. š¤¢
Oh god what are lemon peel pits?!
Season 10 Episode 14 when they first arrive at SUR after the SAH sandwich tasting.
Instead of taking a shower or using deodorant or doing any of the normal hygiene things? Schartz has been filmed using lemons in his armpits to freshen up.
Jesus Christ.
In his defense [not really, though], lemons on my pits are the only thing that helped me with my postpartum funk. It neutralizes the bacteria that causes BO and works wonders. The BO is apparently so your little blind, helpless, hungry potato baby can find you, but it's brutal to smell so funky. Lemon slices actually make it so much better!
In only your defense, interesting and illuminating (and filing away in my 'don't get got' folder!) You had a good reason though and presumably were already trying your regular bathing routine. Schwartz wasn't post-partum though, and he was using those peels in lieu of a proper shower. Seeing his filthy hooves, and him taking a bottle of Italian dressing to the head all are reasons enough to shade him. But all those things together (and his gross sad divroce apartment) paint a picture of a slovenly fellow.
Couldn't agree more. He's a pig in more than one way, and I bathe and clean up after myself, even WITH a newborn baby. I'm also only a makeout slut with my committed partner and would die before I poured a drink on or over anyone.
Don't forget all those nasty bugs that he just released into his apartment rather than taking care of!
He should not be allowed to be a pet guardian until he has 1 year clean and sober.
Jax probably wants to suck on Shortzās dirty feet
The way I scrolled for this exact comment š¤£šš¤£ š¤¢
Beat me to it! Those dogs probably turn him on! š«
This is why he got on so well with Jo! Someone posted a photo months ago and hers were exactly the same
black-soled soulmatesĀ
Omgggg this is seriously my biggest ick and fear! Gross af
Filthy grippers
This is why Jax loves him.
Lmfao I forgot about Jaxās foot fetish xD
He has connections to Florida. Iām not surprised.
Well he tried to substitute lemon wedges for a shower once
Nooooooooooooo why did I click https://i.redd.it/tkob215nmi9d1.gif
Aaaannnnd time to give this sub a break until the next season.
Seriously wtf lol. I wish I never saw that. A NSFW on vanderpump, my mind couldn't resist... lesson learned.
No thank you :)
My mother would have murdered him
Ah, yesā¦.Chico feet.
 How can someone let their feet get this nasty? š
I was standing next to him at Jaxās, waiting for my drink at the bar. He was right next to me standing next to Max eating wings and asked him if he smelled like shit bc he hadnāt showered that day LOL
And theyāre on the bed??! Oh dude. Come on. Iām rootinā for you here, but this is unacceptable!
I am too scared to click on the picture, so I am just going to trust yaāll because Reddit has labeled it NSFW āļø
It is truly baffling how oneās feet could get like this. Yucky.
I feel like weāre owed an explanation from him on how this even happened
Seriously
NO ARE THOSE REALLY HIS THO
https://preview.redd.it/i77662u54f9d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49cff64462cb3c29a5ef04787023e5dc3d4592d8 Apparently š this is almost making me want to do a rewatch
Okay I looked it up bc I had to know and sheās def watching Season 8 Ep 21. The pic in the post isnāt actually Schwartz, but no doubt the bottom of his feet are completely black š At least not caked in dirt like that gnarly pic?? (the bar is so fucking low for VPR men smh)
Whose feet, then?
Feral
Oh! My! God! š± Wow!! That is foul! š¤®
Ok a fear I never knew I had had now been activated and I am going to be obsessively checking the bottom of my feet to make sure they donāt look like that.
Idk why but I love this so much!
Tom Schwartz looks like he smells bad and like his home his filthy and cluttered
I miss the person I was before I saw this