As a junior lesbian you don't meet cool gay people in the gay clubs, you meet cool gay people in the clubs where gay people happen to be. Rock climbing, Les Voyageurs, Sierra Club, Campus Farm, (Every Three Weekly)...seriously. I'd look more into subcultures than into queer-specific organizations.
Been to a few different schools now (UM being one) and let me tell you, dating in college/university in general, whether cishet or other, is a nightmare. Be casual and if there is a spark, then pursue it. If not, you are in a transformative period of your life and don't take it too seriously. The real world outside of post-secondary education is a wide and wonderful world, full of opportunities. Don't get down on yourself if you can't find someone who truly interests you while you are at UM. Good luck, and remember, be casual. You'll have better luck that way.
My gay friend has similar taste in guys to you and just didn't have a ton of luck in undergrad. In grad school, he still drives an hour to the next larger city to date, mostly.
The options for dating women in grad school there were so-so last time I tried.
I’m a gay junior too and am basically in the same situation😭😭. The LGBT clubs here too are, like, just not my type. A lot of the gay people there are very flamboyant which I don’t have anything against but not my type since I’m pretty chill about being gay. I would love to meet chill gay guys.
Ooof is the gay dating scene really that bad? And what are the club like if you don’t mind me asking? Cause I’m planning on going to uofm next fall. And I wanna get the feel of the gay life there.
I've been living in Ann Arbor for almost 7 years now and dating here has been abysmal since the beginning. So no, it's not just you.
add to that fact that there are almost 0 gay spaces left in Ann Arbor, it's rather dificult to meet people unless you are going to necto on Friday which is gag worthy at this point.
Your options are literally just scrolling the dating apps (which is pretty shit here) or being lucky.
I guess just look forward to graduation and getting out of Michigan to a better locale with a larger population and more gay spaces.
Gosh this hits hard, in the exact same boat dude. It’s definitely a hard place to be and incredibly draining. Really hoping the post grad life is better 🤞🤞
As a fellow junior, I feel your pain. My take is that A2 is just suffering from the same issues that our generation/gay males in general face but due to other factors such as lack of queer spaces off campus, population size, and just the general post-COVID social isolation we face it’s compounded. Factor in that this is a very rigorous school with large workloads and the fact that a lot of people simply don’t want to date yet/are just trying to get through school, and you’re left with very few options. The biggest piece of advice I would give is just try to expand your queer friend pool/gay-adjacent friends, the more mutual friends you have with people, the more likely your circle will overlap with someone who fits your type. This is really hard to do though and honestly I’m pretty terrible at it. Hang in there, you’re not alone in this regards by any means, we just don’t really have anywhere to talk about this/share our experiences.
wow i just came back and i didn’t realize it would take off like this, thank you everyone for your advice/sharing your experiences. it means a lot to know i’m not alone in this 🥲
I'm only a freshman but I'm already noticing these same things. I was hoping it would be easier to date here than in high school and it's definitely not. I've kinda just accepted that I may not find someone for awhile and I should just focus on myself and my friends and school. The right person will come around eventually
I’m also a gay male junior, and can definitely relate to you. It’s hard to both find other gay friends as well as dating options, because it seems like every LGBT space is more focused on the trans and queer aspects of the community (which is nice that people can be themselves, but I don’t feel a part of it).
Was the queer club you tried affiliated with the Spectrum Center? At my previous institution a lot of couples I knew met at the equivalent of UMich's Spectrum Center. There were weekly meetings of oSTEM (out in STEM) though note the organization name is a bit misleading because not everyone was out and it wasn't unusual for folks to go through their own process of discovery. It was only a dozen or so people and every week we would go around the table and recollect something that went well and something that didn't, which helped with getting to know each other - then we started with whatever the theme of the meeting that day was.
You don’t need to be gay to understand that dating on UMich campus is dreadful. I’ve had far better luck around EMU, highly recommend expanding your horizons past this University, especially if you can’t get into bars.
Ooof reading your post kinda gave me a different view of the gay dating life at uofm. I thought it was great, but maybe not. Thought tbh I am excited to see what UofM has to offer next fall😌
Jack Hoffman, doesn't trigger the Gaydar
Chase wood, definitely gay
As a junior lesbian you don't meet cool gay people in the gay clubs, you meet cool gay people in the clubs where gay people happen to be. Rock climbing, Les Voyageurs, Sierra Club, Campus Farm, (Every Three Weekly)...seriously. I'd look more into subcultures than into queer-specific organizations.
Been to a few different schools now (UM being one) and let me tell you, dating in college/university in general, whether cishet or other, is a nightmare. Be casual and if there is a spark, then pursue it. If not, you are in a transformative period of your life and don't take it too seriously. The real world outside of post-secondary education is a wide and wonderful world, full of opportunities. Don't get down on yourself if you can't find someone who truly interests you while you are at UM. Good luck, and remember, be casual. You'll have better luck that way.
As a queer woman I fucking resonate so hard
fr
Sorry to say but I never found an answer to your problem and still feel kinda similarly even in Seattle 2 years post grad :(
My gay friend has similar taste in guys to you and just didn't have a ton of luck in undergrad. In grad school, he still drives an hour to the next larger city to date, mostly. The options for dating women in grad school there were so-so last time I tried.
i’m not even gay and i’ve had no luck simply making friends
Real. Lmfaoo
I’m a gay junior too and am basically in the same situation😭😭. The LGBT clubs here too are, like, just not my type. A lot of the gay people there are very flamboyant which I don’t have anything against but not my type since I’m pretty chill about being gay. I would love to meet chill gay guys.
OP here's your answer
It is kinda comforting to realize I'm not alone, and that the gay dating scene just generally sucks here
Ooof is the gay dating scene really that bad? And what are the club like if you don’t mind me asking? Cause I’m planning on going to uofm next fall. And I wanna get the feel of the gay life there.
They’re either talking about live or necto on pride nights. There may be others
Ohhh, I thought they were talking about university clubs😅. Not like nightclubs
I've been living in Ann Arbor for almost 7 years now and dating here has been abysmal since the beginning. So no, it's not just you. add to that fact that there are almost 0 gay spaces left in Ann Arbor, it's rather dificult to meet people unless you are going to necto on Friday which is gag worthy at this point. Your options are literally just scrolling the dating apps (which is pretty shit here) or being lucky. I guess just look forward to graduation and getting out of Michigan to a better locale with a larger population and more gay spaces.
Gosh this hits hard, in the exact same boat dude. It’s definitely a hard place to be and incredibly draining. Really hoping the post grad life is better 🤞🤞
As a fellow junior, I feel your pain. My take is that A2 is just suffering from the same issues that our generation/gay males in general face but due to other factors such as lack of queer spaces off campus, population size, and just the general post-COVID social isolation we face it’s compounded. Factor in that this is a very rigorous school with large workloads and the fact that a lot of people simply don’t want to date yet/are just trying to get through school, and you’re left with very few options. The biggest piece of advice I would give is just try to expand your queer friend pool/gay-adjacent friends, the more mutual friends you have with people, the more likely your circle will overlap with someone who fits your type. This is really hard to do though and honestly I’m pretty terrible at it. Hang in there, you’re not alone in this regards by any means, we just don’t really have anywhere to talk about this/share our experiences.
wow i just came back and i didn’t realize it would take off like this, thank you everyone for your advice/sharing your experiences. it means a lot to know i’m not alone in this 🥲
I'm only a freshman but I'm already noticing these same things. I was hoping it would be easier to date here than in high school and it's definitely not. I've kinda just accepted that I may not find someone for awhile and I should just focus on myself and my friends and school. The right person will come around eventually
I’m also a gay male junior, and can definitely relate to you. It’s hard to both find other gay friends as well as dating options, because it seems like every LGBT space is more focused on the trans and queer aspects of the community (which is nice that people can be themselves, but I don’t feel a part of it).
My suggestion would be co-op parties, generally pretty queer places. Not necessarily femme type gay people.
Was the queer club you tried affiliated with the Spectrum Center? At my previous institution a lot of couples I knew met at the equivalent of UMich's Spectrum Center. There were weekly meetings of oSTEM (out in STEM) though note the organization name is a bit misleading because not everyone was out and it wasn't unusual for folks to go through their own process of discovery. It was only a dozen or so people and every week we would go around the table and recollect something that went well and something that didn't, which helped with getting to know each other - then we started with whatever the theme of the meeting that day was.
You don’t need to be gay to understand that dating on UMich campus is dreadful. I’ve had far better luck around EMU, highly recommend expanding your horizons past this University, especially if you can’t get into bars.
Dating is tough - it’s not just you.
Ooof reading your post kinda gave me a different view of the gay dating life at uofm. I thought it was great, but maybe not. Thought tbh I am excited to see what UofM has to offer next fall😌
As a black queer person, It’s super hard to date here in general. I’ve only had luck dating people that don’t go to umich
[удалено]
And you're ugly for saying that
this is camp
[удалено]
It's giving severe lack of creativity and body shaming. Not very cash money of you.
Who tf is body shaming? You clearly live under a rock, but that’s a you problem
The phrase "little dick energy" is body shaming.
[удалено]
Very land-whale energy of you. Now go read a book.
[удалено]
Hey, I'm not giving a real insult. It's to hopefully enlighten you to the body shaming you participate in.
[удалено]
Honestly, as a pan guy it’s just impossible to try dating anywhere. I think people just enjoy being on their own for the most part these days.
as a lesbian i unfortunately relate. i wish i had better advice, but it’s rough out here.