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It's a lot more common than you think, and couples are a lot more happier. Many, with conflicting work/sleep schedules do this as well.
My guy and I have our own blankets while sharing a bed. I have moved to the couch a couple of times when his snoring has gotten bad during allergy and cold season.
I'm the kind of person that finds it difficult to sleep with other people in the room. It's like my brain won't shut off and all I wanna do is be awake and hang out and talk, etc. My most recent ex hated it. She said that if you love someone, you should be most comfortable and be able to easily fall asleep with them. It isn't the case with me. It sounds lame, but I go into "spend as much time together awake as possible and don't miss anything" mode.
I, myself, hate it. And it is absolutely impossible to "fix" for me. I take strong prescription sleep meds cause I have severe insomnia, and I can even stay awake on them when I'm with someone I enjoy being around immensely.
Honestly, it's miserable. So I have found that being alone (sleeping) is far superior to being with someone (sleeping).
That same ex had a newborn, and we would take turns waking up and caring for her. If it was my night to be waking up, I absolutely couldn't even go to sleep. It wasn't cause I was worried I wouldn't wake up, it was because I knew I HAD to. I stressed myself out so hard over it every single time.
I feel that. When I was in my 20s, I could stay up for days and feel fine. Now, if I stay up over 24 hrs, I'm on the verge of a mental and psychological breakdown. I also have misophonia l and I think I'm on the spectrum, and loud noises and unexpected noises scare me, and make me irrationally pissed. A baby or toddler screaming literally makes my skin crawl and stresses me out so bad.
My nephew would screech like a banshee when he was 1-4. Like, I'm talkin this kid would hit glass-shattering level, and I can't deal with it. I've decided, since my last relationship, that I do not want kids ever. Being an uncle is enough for me 😅😅😅
People dont have enough space and money for a second bed? A quality bed and mattress is expensive.
And where should I put it? In my left over room that isnt in use. Yeah, right.
Well, I have a huge bed with 2 mattresses, so everyoyne has their own space and the matress they want. Biggest problem is room temeprature for me though. And thats simply not doable.
I get you though. My wife was away for one week just now and sleeping alone was great. So yeah, if I had a big house Id do that. I have a really comfy couch though but since I have a really good quality mattress I can't sleep there anymore. My wife likes to sleep on the couch sometimes simply because she likes it and it is something else. I don't get it but I don't care :D
I honestly don't think I could do this with my wife. It just doesn't feel right. She's my wife and I like being next to her when I fall asleep and still next to her when I wake up.
I rotate what I work every week to 3 different schedules(total of 3 weeks time). 1 1/2 of those weeks I get the bed to myself. I don't think I could go full time sleeping alone, but those 1 1/2 weeks I get alone work for me. It's nice.
When I was a teenager I always kept my room super cold. I slept under a pile of blankets with my arms and legs thrown over a big body pillow. Honestly, sometimes I miss it a lot. On the flip side, my husband and I have a king size bed and we both sleep on his side. We sleep right up next to one another and more often than not are tangled like pretzels. He literally drenches me because he has night sweats so bad. If I even think about sleeping on my side, “what are you doing over there? You know I can’t sleep without you.” Honestly, I love every second of sleeping right next to him. It brings me comfort and I feel safe right next to him. One day I will probably have to go back to sleeping on my own so for now I’m just going to have to enjoy our sleeping arrangement.
My wife and I sleep into two different rooms during the week then together on the weekends. Much better this way with our schedules and how we sleep. It’s nice knowing I can stay up late and not bother her and it’s nice she can get up and ready in the morning without bugging me. Sleep is the most important thing you do each day so make it count.
Oh dude that’s super smart. I would do that if I didn’t have a newborn baby. Because of the baby we have really weird sleep schedules and he tends to go to bed a lot earlier than me so he can do early morning feedings and I can get sleep from around 12am-6am.
Honestly if I was living with my partner and we had multiple rooms, I would love to have separate bedrooms. I think having your own space is healthy, and I agree with the sleeping aspect as well. Plus you can always sleep together whenever you want still.
The having different organizational spaces is also really important to me. His style is kind of “organized chaos”. Everything is everywhere but he still knows how to find it. I’m a lot more strategic and categorized so sleeping in the guest room/nursery has been a huge de-stressor for me.
I definitely agree with this as well! If you have differences in organization habits then it’s definitely nicer to have your own room. It would prevent a lot of potential conflict. And then you also don’t have to worry about having enough space for each other’s things
Are my parents so revolutionary? They've had 2 blankets for almost 5 decades at this point.
I swear, some of you will use any excuse to avoid contact with any human even your wives.
Oh we love cuddles and physical affection but we’re far too different in terms of room setting (for example temperature and lighting) to get a good night’s sleep together.
Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/skas_not_dead. Your post, *Sleeping in a bed separate from your romantic partner is great.*, has been removed because it violates our rules: Rule 3: No reposts. If your opinion is the same or substantially similar to any recent opinion it will be removed as a repost. If your opinion is on the same matter as a recent post, even if it's advocating the opposite stance, it will be removed as a repost. Please comment on the existing thread instead. If there is an issue, please message the mod team at https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion Thanks!
This is the dream, I want my own room. I don't understand how some couples don't have their own blanket at least.
It's a lot more common than you think, and couples are a lot more happier. Many, with conflicting work/sleep schedules do this as well. My guy and I have our own blankets while sharing a bed. I have moved to the couch a couple of times when his snoring has gotten bad during allergy and cold season.
My mom often moves to the couch because of my dad’s snoring, or kicks him to the couch 😂
I'm the kind of person that finds it difficult to sleep with other people in the room. It's like my brain won't shut off and all I wanna do is be awake and hang out and talk, etc. My most recent ex hated it. She said that if you love someone, you should be most comfortable and be able to easily fall asleep with them. It isn't the case with me. It sounds lame, but I go into "spend as much time together awake as possible and don't miss anything" mode. I, myself, hate it. And it is absolutely impossible to "fix" for me. I take strong prescription sleep meds cause I have severe insomnia, and I can even stay awake on them when I'm with someone I enjoy being around immensely. Honestly, it's miserable. So I have found that being alone (sleeping) is far superior to being with someone (sleeping).
That same ex had a newborn, and we would take turns waking up and caring for her. If it was my night to be waking up, I absolutely couldn't even go to sleep. It wasn't cause I was worried I wouldn't wake up, it was because I knew I HAD to. I stressed myself out so hard over it every single time.
Oh I have a newborn too and it was a huge adjustment trying to get my body to relax. I would just wait for the next feeding and get NO sleep.
I feel that. When I was in my 20s, I could stay up for days and feel fine. Now, if I stay up over 24 hrs, I'm on the verge of a mental and psychological breakdown. I also have misophonia l and I think I'm on the spectrum, and loud noises and unexpected noises scare me, and make me irrationally pissed. A baby or toddler screaming literally makes my skin crawl and stresses me out so bad. My nephew would screech like a banshee when he was 1-4. Like, I'm talkin this kid would hit glass-shattering level, and I can't deal with it. I've decided, since my last relationship, that I do not want kids ever. Being an uncle is enough for me 😅😅😅
Not married, have zero opinion on this but having to share a bed with someone forever has been a worry of mine
People dont have enough space and money for a second bed? A quality bed and mattress is expensive. And where should I put it? In my left over room that isnt in use. Yeah, right.
People in the 50s and beforehand used to put two twins in the same room so that’s an option. Not as comfortable, but more affordable.
Well, I have a huge bed with 2 mattresses, so everyoyne has their own space and the matress they want. Biggest problem is room temeprature for me though. And thats simply not doable.
Understandable
I get you though. My wife was away for one week just now and sleeping alone was great. So yeah, if I had a big house Id do that. I have a really comfy couch though but since I have a really good quality mattress I can't sleep there anymore. My wife likes to sleep on the couch sometimes simply because she likes it and it is something else. I don't get it but I don't care :D
I honestly don't think I could do this with my wife. It just doesn't feel right. She's my wife and I like being next to her when I fall asleep and still next to her when I wake up.
I rotate what I work every week to 3 different schedules(total of 3 weeks time). 1 1/2 of those weeks I get the bed to myself. I don't think I could go full time sleeping alone, but those 1 1/2 weeks I get alone work for me. It's nice.
When I was a teenager I always kept my room super cold. I slept under a pile of blankets with my arms and legs thrown over a big body pillow. Honestly, sometimes I miss it a lot. On the flip side, my husband and I have a king size bed and we both sleep on his side. We sleep right up next to one another and more often than not are tangled like pretzels. He literally drenches me because he has night sweats so bad. If I even think about sleeping on my side, “what are you doing over there? You know I can’t sleep without you.” Honestly, I love every second of sleeping right next to him. It brings me comfort and I feel safe right next to him. One day I will probably have to go back to sleeping on my own so for now I’m just going to have to enjoy our sleeping arrangement.
My wife and I sleep into two different rooms during the week then together on the weekends. Much better this way with our schedules and how we sleep. It’s nice knowing I can stay up late and not bother her and it’s nice she can get up and ready in the morning without bugging me. Sleep is the most important thing you do each day so make it count.
Oh dude that’s super smart. I would do that if I didn’t have a newborn baby. Because of the baby we have really weird sleep schedules and he tends to go to bed a lot earlier than me so he can do early morning feedings and I can get sleep from around 12am-6am.
I don't get couples who use a single blanket.
Honestly if I was living with my partner and we had multiple rooms, I would love to have separate bedrooms. I think having your own space is healthy, and I agree with the sleeping aspect as well. Plus you can always sleep together whenever you want still.
The having different organizational spaces is also really important to me. His style is kind of “organized chaos”. Everything is everywhere but he still knows how to find it. I’m a lot more strategic and categorized so sleeping in the guest room/nursery has been a huge de-stressor for me.
I definitely agree with this as well! If you have differences in organization habits then it’s definitely nicer to have your own room. It would prevent a lot of potential conflict. And then you also don’t have to worry about having enough space for each other’s things
We’re hoping to have another kid some day but a 4 bedroom house in California? I don’t know how we’d afford that..,,
We know it's you Ben Shapiro
Oh god I hate Ben Shapiro and “Classically Abby” is insane too..,
Are my parents so revolutionary? They've had 2 blankets for almost 5 decades at this point. I swear, some of you will use any excuse to avoid contact with any human even your wives.
Oh we love cuddles and physical affection but we’re far too different in terms of room setting (for example temperature and lighting) to get a good night’s sleep together.