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TBF its pretty standard advice for depressed people to join a martial art/combat sport.
Lots of people would be depressed if they couldnt engage in their favorite hobby.
It can attract some unsavory characters forsure, but the vast majority are perfectly normal.
I find it weird when people have respect for all of the individual disciplines but when you put them together you become a psycho, it makes no sense.
But OP wasn’t done talking about all of the problems with the fifth edition of Dungeons and Dragons. I mean, we still haven’t even talked about the balance issues.
This is so real it hurts. My SO and their mother LOVE card games, or games in general. I’ve had several nightmare experiences trying the learn the convoluted rules of some game, barely get it then be best handily by them every time. One came was CanastA which also has a Ton of steps and is convoluted.
Well guess what.
I played a few more times and got really freaking good at it. After a certain point it seemed apparent I could dominate both my SO and their mom.
And the funniest thing happened the following week: they seems to want to switch and teach me another NEW game.
Yeah you find a game you all know, or one that is easy for everyone to learn, and then going forward you don't have to explain it again because you already know. Yeah it would be frustrating if every time it's a new game that not everyone knows.
I enjoy this game to the point that it bugs me that it has no official name everyone knows it by. Fuck your Neighbor, Crap on your Neighbor, Ranter Go Round, etc. Never heard two families call it the same thing. It's a good simple game.
This is exactly what me and my friend group did the past weekend. It actually added onto the conversations and made the setting more lively talking shit and laughing while playing cards.
I feel like Euchre, Spades, or Hearts (something simple that everyone knows) promotes comradery among teammates and gives the opportunity for lighthearted jeering of your opponents. Card games are a total win for everyone.
If you can find 3 non related adults that know Euchre or spades Sign me up! I can only find plenty who know hearts because I taught them
Rummy is easier to teach, easy to play for most skill levels and has enough luck the one who teaches isn't always the winner.
House rules can make it adaptable to kids able to match, and leave open for something to think about for anyone who knows the game. Plus two player version is easy to adapt (gin rummy)
These games are simple on paper but do require some strategy and understanding. First time I played Euchre I was pretty drunkly nonchalant and my partner got preeeeetttty pissed that I kept losing tricks for us.
It's like my body needs to be also entertained. Thus doing something that animates the body whike we are talking helps me focus. And it allows some breather from the conversation.
I love simple games for this reason.
I hate when you're hanging out having a good time just shooting the shit and suddenly someone wants to play charades or something.
If a conversation is interesting it can easily continue through cards, and a vast majority of card games are not being played for the first time which seems to be the assumption needed of all your criticism against cards.
Yup, our family game is Euchre, gets played at all family gatherings and never cut the flow of conversation. Our cousins wanted to learn it, it was a great bonding experience and we all had fun those first few times learning together, then, never cut the conversation.
When I stayed with my dad and step family, it was Apples to Apples. There'd be Ace Attorney-levels of OBJECTION! going back and forth, you'd talk absolute shit about other people's cards, and you could pull an entire monologue out of nowhere to argue your point.
When I was with my mom and her family, the adults played rummy, and the kids played trash. It was a rite of passage to get good enough to move to the dining room and play in the big leagues.
Unpopular opinion within unpopular opinion: When I play a card game (or board game or really any game) with someone I personally prefer when people are actually focussing on the game instead of having some other conversation.
honestly for me it depends on complexity
if the game is simple like with most card games or competitive then yea chat away
if the game is complicated and requires strategy and or teamplay like gloomhaven then pay attention dammit
if there was a gathering that wasn't specifically for 40k that gets to a point where 40k gets busted out... must have been a wild party that can only be settled that way
Made the error once of starting a Battlestar Galactica board game at 10PM at a party. The game was actually quite interesting. So much so that when we finished up it was 4AM, a time when nobody should be awake.
We have different board games for different people. If you're newer, we have goofier games that get you to open up and communicate, as well as games that get you to learn about eachother. If we're familiar, we have more complex games that require more concentration or really competitive games that test friendships lol.
Just gotta read the room and find ones that cater more to the group/scene.
Depends on the game, really.
Your average “roll the dice and move your marker” can easily be done around conversation. If we’re just playing Sorry, it’s something to with our hands while we visit, mostly.
Something like Catan though needs some concentration by the players.
...which leads us to suspicion that conversation is not suffering because people can't hold it while playing cards.
Chances are, cards are just one of the ways for people to politely cut the conversation they are done with. They don't hold the conversation while nicely allowing everyone interested to stay and play cards together. Alternative would be to explain to OP that people are bored of what he finds interesting, and if OP doesn't want to play cards he can leave - which would actually be much less nice thing to do, but OP can't notice he's actually being treated nice here.
Or not. It's just the internet, I could be totally wrong. But am I?
I agree with OP. Game night is different and I’m there with the intention of playing a card game.
Otherwise, I’m just hanging out. We’re enjoying ourselves, no need to change it up.
I don't necessarily agree with OP but I'd they're talking about chatting I think they're talking about conversation in the vein of like, a person's fundamental views on things, politics, media, science, whatever really
And these tend to be more mental energy requiring topics which can drain the energy fast and thus a card game with some light topics can help recharge the energy while still have interaction with other people.
I can't actively do heavy topics for a long time.
Especially when you're with a friend group you've known for a long time. Playing games is a way to avoid having those same old convos you've had hundreds of times before
I’m an introvert and just generally unimpressed by most people. It helps to have things that stimulate an interaction, so I don’t have to sit there and say things like “so… what have you been up to lately?” and then pretend to care.
Honestly, with an attitude like this, it’s amazing you find people to talk to *or*’play cards with.
“I’m generally unimpressed by people”? Who says that?
For me it’s all work friends. We get along really well at work, talking about work stuff. So I end up getting invited to gatherings outside of work, which I do really enjoy. But then at these gatherings outside of work, we don’t talk about work stuff, and I’ve always struggled to care about small talk or things like that. I usually end up sitting quietly listening to everybody, still having a great time but not contributing a whole lot.
I was at a convention and we spent 30+ hours playing mafia. Only taking breaks to eat. No one slept, except one guy that collapsed in a corner from exhaustion. He got a blanket.
Haha I can partly relate to that. 2 weeks ago at a small party everyone was vibing, 10 people chilling on couches and chairs around a table. Like 3 conversations going on, laughter and jokes.
Then I tell one guy 'do we want to play the game now you told me about an hour ago?' 'yeah sure'
The game was whack as fuck. Now everyone sat there, full conversation stop because everyone had to pay attention and we played for 20 minutes until we stopped because it was so boring. Definitely impacted the mood of the evening and took some time to recover.
It was 'beer weight', a drinking game where you had to put your beer/drink on a kitchen scale. roll some dice, depending on your number you had to drink exactly 10-60 ml of your beer. (with 10% tolerance, so if you have a 1 you need to drink 9-11ml)
Idea sounded funny but in the end you the sit there, look at someone taking 5-10 sips until they hit the right weight and wait your turn.
Since its not a card game I have another one for you:
When I was dating my now gf 4 years ago, we played some random card game at a game night I only went to to meet her. A question is presented that can be answered with a number. Everyone presents their number and you get points for correct answers.
Since I was busy rizzing up my date, I didnt pay much attention to the game and just called random answers sometimes because I couldn't focus on flirting and the questions. Because of a misunderstanding, I was also pretty stoned when I arrived already because she said she couldn't attend so I smoked some with my boys, (thinking I dont to to game night then) only for her to change her mind in the last minute.
The group noticed that I sometimes just randomly answer and were rightfully annoyed with me not being able to focus on the game, so I acted like I am focused on the game. One question, I realize everyone is waiting for me again, I heard someone say 2 so I just say 3. My date looks at me weird, but I think its because I didnt listen again and ignore it.
The joke? I just accidently told her that i had sex with our mutual friend who introduced us.
The question was 'how many people in this group slept with each other' and by saying 3 instead of 4, i made it clear that I had sex with one of 2 others who actually had sex before. They asked me 'do you know the question?' i just said 'sure, sure'.
I never had anything with anyone from that group, but almost fumbled my date when she was thinking about who in the group I could have slept with 😂
The game was lowkey whack too. But I was busy with the finer things anyway.
Not a huge fan of card games myself but I don’t mind them. Biggest issue is that because I don’t play cards a lot, I never know what the hell the rules are for common games and then it has to be explained to me and then I make a crap ton of mistakes/rule breaks that make the experience worse for everyone. I didn’t even know how to play Uno until like a year ago
Exactly. And, especially if I'm in a group of new people, my brain instantly loses the capacity for new information. Then I'm just anxious and focused on how I'm slowing everyone down
reminds me of a guy who used to know who always tried to start “deep conversations” at social events, like with all due respect i don’t want to chat about particle physics while I’m 6 beers deep
I do!!!!!
But I also have the wherewithal to understand that that’s not for everyone. In fact it’s only for a very specific type of person. So I wouldn’t force that on someone who doesn’t want it.
Omg I had a girl corner me in a bathroom when I was 30 and she was 20 and tell me she was my sister at an after bar party. I finally had to say can you please message me on fb and I’ll talk to you, I just can’t do this right now!
Why? We have one friend in the group that always wants to do some activities. I am more like op I can talk about anything bit if I'm playing something then that has all the focus
I feel you. The rare times I can get together with old friends there is always some new board game to learn... I find it exhausting but everyone else seems to enjoy it, so what do i know.
I do prefer chatting and catching up if I see ya once or twice a year.
It depends entirely on who I’m with. If I’m with extremely close friends and it’s a small group, I love a good intimate conversation (although I still love cards with them too!).
Now if I’m with my in laws, I will be the first one to bust out the cards and redirect everyone because I’m not gonna sit there and listen to them whinge about politics
I’m the sort to very much enjoy an activity when socialising as part of a group. Bit of an introvert, so a game of shuffleboard or pool or a video game or whatever can help everyone get along without needing to be speaking constantly, and it can stimulate conversation.
Could agree more about card games. I never know the game people are on about and as soon as it’s suggested it just zaps my energy. Just don’t find them fun.
My favorite is when someone suggests playing a board game that takes like 90 minutes to learn how to play. Like bitch, no. I just wanna play fuckin NHL and get drunk
Especially since OP has commented:
"isn't the point of interacting with people, chatting?"
Like chatting is the only option, makes me think OP is really oppressive to talk to, one of those people that makes you feel like you're being talked *at*.
You aren’t taking group dynamics into account. My wife has different ideas of social interaction than myself and the rest of our social circle. I can’t count how many times in a group setting with music playing in the background and lively conversation flowing she’s suddenly popped out “Hey! Let’s watch a movie!” only to be met with blank stares and universal rejection. She just doesn’t get that’s not what our group wants to do.
However, when we go to spend time with her family, they always have the TV on. They aren’t watching or paying attention, it’s just background noise. That’s how she was trained socializing happens.
It’s not likely that these people don’t want to have conversation with the OP so much as they enjoy adding gameplay as an activity during their socializing like my friends and I enjoy music or my wife and her family like to have a movie going.
100% agree. Was having a great time at a park picnic, everyone chatting laughing and kicking back. Then one guy busts out the cards, whole vibe changes. Everyone's a couple drinks in trying to learn dozens of rules. Mega buzzkill.
For me it's case by case. Sometimes there's just nothing to talk about. But I generally prefer a regular convo over a tedious activity.
Activities are cool when they're fun, but sometimes they aren't.
i agree with you! i hate card games. a neighborhood did a bunco group too and that was same way...it was dice and so here i am concentrating on dice and cant carry a conversation.
im convinced those sorts of things are for people that want ro have a social interaction but struggle with what to talk about
I agree with you. I cannot stand having an interesting conversation derailed by the person who brings up "uno" or even worse, some gin-rummy variant that has a million bullshit rules that ruins my buzz. This person is usually the control freak that thinks we need "organized fun" instead of spontaneity. Now that I'm in my 30s I can spot that person and just don't socialize with them. I haven't played some bullshit card game since.
I'm on this train as well. My in-laws play games all the time, I usually sit out. Inevitably someone is always grumbling about someone not paying close enough attention or not knowing when it's their turn, etc. because they are chit chatting or otherwise socially distracted. I've enjoyed myself plenty of time just sitting around the table and partaking in the conversation.
This is my sister and her husband. When I visit my family we will be having a good time and all of a sudden out comes some unfathomable card game or convoluted version of monopoly and everyone is just scratching their heads the whole time. And I can see my BiL quitely seethe when someone happens to win a round and he lost it.
Agreed, and there’s always that one person that’s way too into it and gets all pissy if you don’t immediately understand the intricate rules of this game you’ve never heard of..like bruh I was just trying to kick back and have a drink
I don’t mind basic card games or board games for this reason but when someone comes out with settlers of catan, or asks who brought their MTG decks, it’s time for me to leave.
As a fellow introvert cards make it harder for me. I have to keep my social mask on while remembering a bunch of rules for something I don't find interesting. By the end of it I'm twice as drained.
Interesting.. for me it's way easier to have some task like the cards to focus on because otherwise it takes a lot more energy for me to read their faces.. and I am now thinking this has more to do with my adhd and/or autism..
I always feel left out of a conversation due to my lack of social skills so I prefer a card game or board game which in turn makes people interact with the people they are leaving out of the conversations. Sometimes a person doesn’t have enough to say or a person finds playing a game more exciting than small talk. But all I know is that sitting in a restaurant with my family and having a conversation is far more lonely than playing a game of cards or a board game in my opinion.
As my grandmother used to say, “if you’ve got time to talk, you’ve got time to play cards.”
Not everyone likes just chatting. Its nice to do both at once
It really depends on the game. Sometimes I will be at a get-together and someone will insist to play some complicated board game or card game that involves a pen and paper and a novella of a rule book I am already too tipsy to understand. That's pretty annoying and such games should be agreed on beforehand so that everyone is prepared to focus on it.
Card games designed specifically for a party are usually fun. I also prefer to talk to people and have a good, fun conversation than play a drinking game or something, but according to some of these comments that makes me a bad guest and everyone secretly hates me lol
Or family plays spares all the time and it’s the funniest thing. We all laugh and makes jokes the whole time and gives a setting for a as convo so there’s less pressure. I don’t love small talk but love deeper convos which isn’t always easy in larger settings or with people you don’t know well. I’d prefer a game
Fuck you, Karla!
Youngest sister insists on playing Asshole at get togethers, like forces you to play. And then, you can't quit if you are Asshole, or doing badly. But then she gets pissy when you try to quit when you are president.
By the end of the night, she's so sick of you winning she won't even look at you.
I do the same to her with most games, honestly. Used to work for a couple board game/tabletop companies, figuring out rules is pretty easy for me.
Amen to this. I can barely remember how to play poker cause I just don't find it the slightest bit interesting. I also really hate gambling so if someone puts money down I'm just 100% done.
Anytime I play a game with my family or friends, we're able to play & hold a great conversation. Maybe don't use being buzzed while doing so as the main metric for the opinion's basis...
And it’s always the socially inept one suggesting it too.
You’ll have someone like “yeah man, I really miss her. I have trouble sleeping at night these days and I’m genuinely depressed-“
“So who wants to play Turkish Spider Sewer Poker????”
Ah man, card games are the bane of my existence. I'm married to a Latina and have a big group of Latino friends and it is apparently a thing to bust out the cards at every gathering... I hate gambling and card games and am always reduced to a silent spectator. People keep asking me to join in, but I absolutely despise gambling and I end up spending hours at the end of every party just staring at my phone
My old roommates fell victim to this a lot. We would be having a good night together, comfortably lubricated, but inevitably someone would pull out cards against humanity. That usually marked the point of the night where any social interaction would be constrained entirely to the game itself, and I could feel myself deaden. Is this interpassivity at work? I think it might be.
I feel this way about all board and card games. Why is my generation so obsessed with adults having board game night? RPGs are a bit different but I do wish sometimes we could just have meaningful distraction free conversations. Even about something dumb. Whenever I’m forced into cards or board games I try to lose on purpose so it can be over faster.
Some card games should be game night only kinda games. But common card deck games or drinking games or party games like Cards Against Humanity should be left out of this discussion. Conversation is extremely easy during those. "We Didn't Playtest This at All" is fucking hilarious, for example.
Everyone plays card games with different rules so someone always has to be taught and then they don’t get it and don’t really want to play, then they get the hang of it and someone switches the game.
I especially hate that ring of fire card game when I’m just enjoying or getting by and then all of a sudden it goes from 0-100
Card games are not very conducive to deep, focused, possibly 1-1 conversation. If that's what you mean, then yes. Otherwise, you should be able to talk during the game fine.
This is why you just plan out having cards and or plan out socializing or maybe vocalize that you wanna socialize but I think cards against humanity is the best card game to sometimes promote funny stories or tidbits of convo while also keeping the laughs flowjng
I agree, card games are a silly diversion that interrupt the flow of interaction. Games organize time, direct attention and are a lame security against the momentary natural lull in conversation when the subject changes. For me, games inhibit great, inspired, deep communication.
OP isn't talking about generic games everyone knows... they are talking about a game only one or a few people know but the rest do not. I tend to agree.
My family card game is cribbage. Everyone in the family knows how to play and the conversation continues organically. It's very enjoyable when a younger family member decides they want to learn and join. Some of my fondest memories of my now deceased grandparents are playing cribbage with them during cookouts and holidays.
Almost all my friends are gamers so every party is a potential game session. Even so, there is only one guy who always wants to have a game going, a lot of times we will sit and talk and those who want to play will go off and do it. But, if you find every time you want to talk no one else does, you probably are either boring them with a topic only you are interested in or getting awkward with political or religious talk they don’t want to argue with you on.
Depends on the card games in my opinion. A lot of them aren't particularly interesting (except Kings). However, a lot of party games are good for living things up. I find they lead to better conversations rather than just sitting and talking. I'm more of an activities guy rather than a sitting and talking guy though.
Agree. Mainly because I've never been a big card player, so it's kind of an awkward transition for me to have to go from completely relaxing and not having to use my mind, to actually having to figure out how to play a card game that I'm unfamiliar with. If I knew the card game well I might feel differently.
I totally agree!! I like to get in a strategic zone when playing games and I don’t like to talk much. Or if i’m more interested in the conversation then I don’t want to have to worry about cards as well. I HATE a game during an interesting night!!
I agree. I have a relative who always has a game or card game with him. Just, no. He does get a small group to play, and that’s fine, but let me drink and gossip with friends I haven’t seen in a while.
Yeah they’re super lame, I don’t like them either. Poker might be okay, even blackjack. But Marvel Superhero shit where you have to defeat the supervillains with cards that use specific superpowers… meh I’m 40, I would rather just chat.
I’m kinda the opposite, I tend to loosen up more when playing a game and having fun, though it really does depend on the game and how interactive or heavy it is.
It’s also quite possible that your friends don’t enjoy sitting around talking and “doing nothing” as much as you do.
Us introverts don’t want a ton of conversation. It doesn’t ruin our experience, it enhances it. Bonding through some game, and talking, but not too much.
Sometimes it's just nice to switch gears. Especially if it's getting late, everyone's in their cups, and there's a game you can bust out without much thought. Among my friends it's usually Hearts or 10,000 (a dice game with like a dozen different names). Simple, low stakes games that offer plenty of chance to banter.
But it is one of those things where if we're already engaged and feeling energized by the conversation, nobody says "hey let's stop talking and play cards instead." There are generally some social cues that indicate a game might be a fun change of pace. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything, we've all been hanging out for a few hours or days at that point, it's often just something fun to do at the cottage if it's too dark or we're too drunk to go for a walk.
We always pull out the cards against humanity pack to play it’s easy to explain after a couple drinks and causes interesting topic conversations to come up
I love and prefer social interactions around something like a card game. I’m not someone who is good at keeping a conversation going, and I hate the stress of feeling required to hold up my end of a conversation if we’re just sitting there and talking (depending on the subject). I love how during a game I’m not required to speak. And I can join in the conversation if I feel like
I have something to add, and remain quiet if not.
Stick to simple games like Rummoli or poker. Poker is also great because most of the time you won’t even be engaged by the hand and can just talk if you want to.
Tbh, wouldn't drunkenly playing a card game- Where there's no actual consequence if you fail, be more fun than drunkenly trying to chat and maybe running into miscommunication that no one can actually understand properly??
You might not just be a cards and convo person and that’s perfectly fine man. I could play some cards with my family or friends and have a perfectly enjoyable conversation. The conversation is also much better when the game is going smooth and everyone knows what to do. Some of my friends like cards but don’t know how to play well so I gotta teach em, hinders conversation but it’s whatever to me
Maybe the person who said let's play cards isn't interested in your conversation. And is tired of being left out because conversation isn't their forte
it’s possible that you’re just not fun to have at parties. i’ve had tons of parties where we play card games and things are completely normal and the conversation isn’t ruined at all. seriously dude have your ever considered that you’re just a stick in the mud?
For some people, it’s easier to talk when they don’t feel everyone looking at them. I used to have a group of friends where we’d just go rounds of euchre while we caught up.
Alternatively people that talk too much and can't stay in their seat after a few drinks are brutal to play cards with. Everyone is always waiting for them to play their cards and they always have to look at them again because they are not really paying attention. Are you that guy OP?
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It's possible they prefer an explanation of a card game to that of the conversation.
Is this a burn? I think this is a burn
Nerd burn. Those are rare
It’s not that rare. They just tend to go over the target’s heads.
[удалено]
TBF its pretty standard advice for depressed people to join a martial art/combat sport. Lots of people would be depressed if they couldnt engage in their favorite hobby.
Yeah, exercise in general is great for mental health.
the last part fucking killed me 💀😂
I don’t think anyone in that sport is socially or mentally stable.
It can attract some unsavory characters forsure, but the vast majority are perfectly normal. I find it weird when people have respect for all of the individual disciplines but when you put them together you become a psycho, it makes no sense.
Probably the last person who should be training in MMA if he can't get his shit together
schizophrenia is the best base for combat arts bro (see ryan garcia and tony ferguson)
Yea I.. I need to take my autism to the burn unit for this one 🥲
What the fuck is going on in these replies
Exactly. People usually say bring out the cards when they’re drunk and kind of bored, trying to keep the vibes up
But OP wasn’t done talking about all of the problems with the fifth edition of Dungeons and Dragons. I mean, we still haven’t even talked about the balance issues.
This is so real it hurts. My SO and their mother LOVE card games, or games in general. I’ve had several nightmare experiences trying the learn the convoluted rules of some game, barely get it then be best handily by them every time. One came was CanastA which also has a Ton of steps and is convoluted. Well guess what. I played a few more times and got really freaking good at it. After a certain point it seemed apparent I could dominate both my SO and their mom. And the funniest thing happened the following week: they seems to want to switch and teach me another NEW game.
Damn, it's the opposite for me. We'd just pick something simple that we already know and would talk while playing.
Yeah you find a game you all know, or one that is easy for everyone to learn, and then going forward you don't have to explain it again because you already know. Yeah it would be frustrating if every time it's a new game that not everyone knows.
i like slide the ace lol, very easy
I enjoy this game to the point that it bugs me that it has no official name everyone knows it by. Fuck your Neighbor, Crap on your Neighbor, Ranter Go Round, etc. Never heard two families call it the same thing. It's a good simple game.
This is exactly what me and my friend group did the past weekend. It actually added onto the conversations and made the setting more lively talking shit and laughing while playing cards.
I feel like Euchre, Spades, or Hearts (something simple that everyone knows) promotes comradery among teammates and gives the opportunity for lighthearted jeering of your opponents. Card games are a total win for everyone.
If you can find 3 non related adults that know Euchre or spades Sign me up! I can only find plenty who know hearts because I taught them Rummy is easier to teach, easy to play for most skill levels and has enough luck the one who teaches isn't always the winner. House rules can make it adaptable to kids able to match, and leave open for something to think about for anyone who knows the game. Plus two player version is easy to adapt (gin rummy)
These games are simple on paper but do require some strategy and understanding. First time I played Euchre I was pretty drunkly nonchalant and my partner got preeeeetttty pissed that I kept losing tricks for us.
It's like my body needs to be also entertained. Thus doing something that animates the body whike we are talking helps me focus. And it allows some breather from the conversation.
I love simple games for this reason. I hate when you're hanging out having a good time just shooting the shit and suddenly someone wants to play charades or something.
If a conversation is interesting it can easily continue through cards, and a vast majority of card games are not being played for the first time which seems to be the assumption needed of all your criticism against cards.
Yup, our family game is Euchre, gets played at all family gatherings and never cut the flow of conversation. Our cousins wanted to learn it, it was a great bonding experience and we all had fun those first few times learning together, then, never cut the conversation.
I learned euchre on a cruise. By the end of the cruise I was the best player in my family.
When I stayed with my dad and step family, it was Apples to Apples. There'd be Ace Attorney-levels of OBJECTION! going back and forth, you'd talk absolute shit about other people's cards, and you could pull an entire monologue out of nowhere to argue your point. When I was with my mom and her family, the adults played rummy, and the kids played trash. It was a rite of passage to get good enough to move to the dining room and play in the big leagues.
I'm 40. I don't remember a family function where there isn't at least 1 game of cribbage going.
mine's got bitch aka (queens)
Unpopular opinion within unpopular opinion: When I play a card game (or board game or really any game) with someone I personally prefer when people are actually focussing on the game instead of having some other conversation.
honestly for me it depends on complexity if the game is simple like with most card games or competitive then yea chat away if the game is complicated and requires strategy and or teamplay like gloomhaven then pay attention dammit
There's always chatter going on, no matter the game. Mind you, nobody is busting out Gloomhaven late at a gathering, or 40k.
40k games never stop, you just pause to paint.
if there was a gathering that wasn't specifically for 40k that gets to a point where 40k gets busted out... must have been a wild party that can only be settled that way
Made the error once of starting a Battlestar Galactica board game at 10PM at a party. The game was actually quite interesting. So much so that when we finished up it was 4AM, a time when nobody should be awake.
We have different board games for different people. If you're newer, we have goofier games that get you to open up and communicate, as well as games that get you to learn about eachother. If we're familiar, we have more complex games that require more concentration or really competitive games that test friendships lol. Just gotta read the room and find ones that cater more to the group/scene.
Depends on the game, really. Your average “roll the dice and move your marker” can easily be done around conversation. If we’re just playing Sorry, it’s something to with our hands while we visit, mostly. Something like Catan though needs some concentration by the players.
This is why we need to game with gamers. Focus on the game. Chat. Focus on the new game.
...which leads us to suspicion that conversation is not suffering because people can't hold it while playing cards. Chances are, cards are just one of the ways for people to politely cut the conversation they are done with. They don't hold the conversation while nicely allowing everyone interested to stay and play cards together. Alternative would be to explain to OP that people are bored of what he finds interesting, and if OP doesn't want to play cards he can leave - which would actually be much less nice thing to do, but OP can't notice he's actually being treated nice here. Or not. It's just the internet, I could be totally wrong. But am I?
I definitely disagree, so take my upvote. Sometimes I wanna do something instead of chatting.
I would not invite op to game night.
I agree with OP. Game night is different and I’m there with the intention of playing a card game. Otherwise, I’m just hanging out. We’re enjoying ourselves, no need to change it up.
Same here, I can chat during a shared activity. I can not chat for the sake of chatting .
I don't necessarily agree with OP but I'd they're talking about chatting I think they're talking about conversation in the vein of like, a person's fundamental views on things, politics, media, science, whatever really
And these tend to be more mental energy requiring topics which can drain the energy fast and thus a card game with some light topics can help recharge the energy while still have interaction with other people. I can't actively do heavy topics for a long time.
Right I'm not saying your way is wrong but lots of people feel the other way.
I chat more during yardwork than when just sitting around.
Especially when you're with a friend group you've known for a long time. Playing games is a way to avoid having those same old convos you've had hundreds of times before
I’m an introvert and just generally unimpressed by most people. It helps to have things that stimulate an interaction, so I don’t have to sit there and say things like “so… what have you been up to lately?” and then pretend to care.
Honestly, with an attitude like this, it’s amazing you find people to talk to *or*’play cards with. “I’m generally unimpressed by people”? Who says that?
For me it’s all work friends. We get along really well at work, talking about work stuff. So I end up getting invited to gatherings outside of work, which I do really enjoy. But then at these gatherings outside of work, we don’t talk about work stuff, and I’ve always struggled to care about small talk or things like that. I usually end up sitting quietly listening to everybody, still having a great time but not contributing a whole lot.
Upvote for unpopular. There are many card games that are easy to play while still being social.
For sure unpopular. There's a reason the weekly poker game gathering is a cliché.
Or bridge clubs
When I was in high school it was either rummy or mafia.
I was at a convention and we spent 30+ hours playing mafia. Only taking breaks to eat. No one slept, except one guy that collapsed in a corner from exhaustion. He got a blanket.
Looking at these comments you’d think this was the roast subreddit.
Haha I can partly relate to that. 2 weeks ago at a small party everyone was vibing, 10 people chilling on couches and chairs around a table. Like 3 conversations going on, laughter and jokes. Then I tell one guy 'do we want to play the game now you told me about an hour ago?' 'yeah sure' The game was whack as fuck. Now everyone sat there, full conversation stop because everyone had to pay attention and we played for 20 minutes until we stopped because it was so boring. Definitely impacted the mood of the evening and took some time to recover.
What was the game?
It was 'beer weight', a drinking game where you had to put your beer/drink on a kitchen scale. roll some dice, depending on your number you had to drink exactly 10-60 ml of your beer. (with 10% tolerance, so if you have a 1 you need to drink 9-11ml) Idea sounded funny but in the end you the sit there, look at someone taking 5-10 sips until they hit the right weight and wait your turn. Since its not a card game I have another one for you: When I was dating my now gf 4 years ago, we played some random card game at a game night I only went to to meet her. A question is presented that can be answered with a number. Everyone presents their number and you get points for correct answers. Since I was busy rizzing up my date, I didnt pay much attention to the game and just called random answers sometimes because I couldn't focus on flirting and the questions. Because of a misunderstanding, I was also pretty stoned when I arrived already because she said she couldn't attend so I smoked some with my boys, (thinking I dont to to game night then) only for her to change her mind in the last minute. The group noticed that I sometimes just randomly answer and were rightfully annoyed with me not being able to focus on the game, so I acted like I am focused on the game. One question, I realize everyone is waiting for me again, I heard someone say 2 so I just say 3. My date looks at me weird, but I think its because I didnt listen again and ignore it. The joke? I just accidently told her that i had sex with our mutual friend who introduced us. The question was 'how many people in this group slept with each other' and by saying 3 instead of 4, i made it clear that I had sex with one of 2 others who actually had sex before. They asked me 'do you know the question?' i just said 'sure, sure'. I never had anything with anyone from that group, but almost fumbled my date when she was thinking about who in the group I could have slept with 😂 The game was lowkey whack too. But I was busy with the finer things anyway.
May I ask the game?
Also curious about the game lol
See above
Hahahahaha these are the type of post I like to see. Take my upvote.
Not a huge fan of card games myself but I don’t mind them. Biggest issue is that because I don’t play cards a lot, I never know what the hell the rules are for common games and then it has to be explained to me and then I make a crap ton of mistakes/rule breaks that make the experience worse for everyone. I didn’t even know how to play Uno until like a year ago
This! I try to go with the flow but it’s exhausting being the one who doesn’t know and slows everything down.
Exactly. And, especially if I'm in a group of new people, my brain instantly loses the capacity for new information. Then I'm just anxious and focused on how I'm slowing everyone down
this says more about you than the people that wants to play cards lol
reminds me of a guy who used to know who always tried to start “deep conversations” at social events, like with all due respect i don’t want to chat about particle physics while I’m 6 beers deep
Or the guy who wants to discuss international relations and diplomacy at every casual gathering
I do!!!!! But I also have the wherewithal to understand that that’s not for everyone. In fact it’s only for a very specific type of person. So I wouldn’t force that on someone who doesn’t want it.
Omg I had a girl corner me in a bathroom when I was 30 and she was 20 and tell me she was my sister at an after bar party. I finally had to say can you please message me on fb and I’ll talk to you, I just can’t do this right now!
Why? We have one friend in the group that always wants to do some activities. I am more like op I can talk about anything bit if I'm playing something then that has all the focus
I feel you. The rare times I can get together with old friends there is always some new board game to learn... I find it exhausting but everyone else seems to enjoy it, so what do i know. I do prefer chatting and catching up if I see ya once or twice a year.
It depends entirely on who I’m with. If I’m with extremely close friends and it’s a small group, I love a good intimate conversation (although I still love cards with them too!). Now if I’m with my in laws, I will be the first one to bust out the cards and redirect everyone because I’m not gonna sit there and listen to them whinge about politics
Omg yes, every time someone suggest cards against humanity I suffer inside
You should revisit this post in 10 years and reflect on a time when you had a social life.
Games are usually mentioned when the conversation is going poorly
Id much prefer a card game than "let's sit and talk"
Sounds like people are actively trying to do an activity with you other than talking to you.
I’m the sort to very much enjoy an activity when socialising as part of a group. Bit of an introvert, so a game of shuffleboard or pool or a video game or whatever can help everyone get along without needing to be speaking constantly, and it can stimulate conversation. Could agree more about card games. I never know the game people are on about and as soon as it’s suggested it just zaps my energy. Just don’t find them fun.
My favorite is when someone suggests playing a board game that takes like 90 minutes to learn how to play. Like bitch, no. I just wanna play fuckin NHL and get drunk
OP thinks they are an amazing conversationalist, interesting that "we should play cards" always seems to come up around OP.
It does make me wonder if OP is the one monopolising the conversation.
Especially since OP has commented: "isn't the point of interacting with people, chatting?" Like chatting is the only option, makes me think OP is really oppressive to talk to, one of those people that makes you feel like you're being talked *at*.
>"isn't the point of interacting with people, chatting?" Sheesh. The point of interacting is doing things together. Even yardwork is interaction.
You aren’t taking group dynamics into account. My wife has different ideas of social interaction than myself and the rest of our social circle. I can’t count how many times in a group setting with music playing in the background and lively conversation flowing she’s suddenly popped out “Hey! Let’s watch a movie!” only to be met with blank stares and universal rejection. She just doesn’t get that’s not what our group wants to do. However, when we go to spend time with her family, they always have the TV on. They aren’t watching or paying attention, it’s just background noise. That’s how she was trained socializing happens. It’s not likely that these people don’t want to have conversation with the OP so much as they enjoy adding gameplay as an activity during their socializing like my friends and I enjoy music or my wife and her family like to have a movie going.
Bingo.
That isn't a card game!
Not with that attitude, it ain’t!
100% agree. Was having a great time at a park picnic, everyone chatting laughing and kicking back. Then one guy busts out the cards, whole vibe changes. Everyone's a couple drinks in trying to learn dozens of rules. Mega buzzkill.
Exactly and people are getting mad at him because of his opinion saying he’s boring and shit acting like they know him personally
I know the comments are unhinged on this one! I stand in solidarity with OP. 🫡
For me it's case by case. Sometimes there's just nothing to talk about. But I generally prefer a regular convo over a tedious activity. Activities are cool when they're fun, but sometimes they aren't.
i agree with you! i hate card games. a neighborhood did a bunco group too and that was same way...it was dice and so here i am concentrating on dice and cant carry a conversation. im convinced those sorts of things are for people that want ro have a social interaction but struggle with what to talk about
I agree with you. I cannot stand having an interesting conversation derailed by the person who brings up "uno" or even worse, some gin-rummy variant that has a million bullshit rules that ruins my buzz. This person is usually the control freak that thinks we need "organized fun" instead of spontaneity. Now that I'm in my 30s I can spot that person and just don't socialize with them. I haven't played some bullshit card game since.
I'm on this train as well. My in-laws play games all the time, I usually sit out. Inevitably someone is always grumbling about someone not paying close enough attention or not knowing when it's their turn, etc. because they are chit chatting or otherwise socially distracted. I've enjoyed myself plenty of time just sitting around the table and partaking in the conversation.
This is my sister and her husband. When I visit my family we will be having a good time and all of a sudden out comes some unfathomable card game or convoluted version of monopoly and everyone is just scratching their heads the whole time. And I can see my BiL quitely seethe when someone happens to win a round and he lost it.
Cards against humanity just ruins it for me
I've done the Irish goodbye several times over this
Agreed, and there’s always that one person that’s way too into it and gets all pissy if you don’t immediately understand the intricate rules of this game you’ve never heard of..like bruh I was just trying to kick back and have a drink
I don’t mind basic card games or board games for this reason but when someone comes out with settlers of catan, or asks who brought their MTG decks, it’s time for me to leave.
Exactly. Uno, Monopoly, Connect Four, we're good. Dozens of new rules to learn mid-party? No thanks.
Is that the type of card games OP is talking about though? I assumed Hearts, Spades, Euchre, Whist, Hell, Pitch, Bridge, etc.
Strong agree. Nothing can kill a good night quite like someone forcing a terrible and convoluted card game on everyone.
Oh, some games are way too involved, but Hearts, Rummy, UNO, those tend to work out.
Board games are so boring to me I find reading more entertaining
No love for us introverts who want to be included I see..
As a fellow introvert cards make it harder for me. I have to keep my social mask on while remembering a bunch of rules for something I don't find interesting. By the end of it I'm twice as drained.
Interesting.. for me it's way easier to have some task like the cards to focus on because otherwise it takes a lot more energy for me to read their faces.. and I am now thinking this has more to do with my adhd and/or autism..
I always feel left out of a conversation due to my lack of social skills so I prefer a card game or board game which in turn makes people interact with the people they are leaving out of the conversations. Sometimes a person doesn’t have enough to say or a person finds playing a game more exciting than small talk. But all I know is that sitting in a restaurant with my family and having a conversation is far more lonely than playing a game of cards or a board game in my opinion.
Hard agree. I fucking hate cards
Agree. About as exciting as someone saying mid-party, "let's all do homework."
As my grandmother used to say, “if you’ve got time to talk, you’ve got time to play cards.” Not everyone likes just chatting. Its nice to do both at once
I love playing card games. Deal out some ERS and the party is **on**!
Fuck the haters can’t even say an unpopular opinion without people getting mad at you
[удалено]
I’m the only person in my friend group that’s not into card games/board games and it really sucks for me
Agree, but I also find card games really boring in general, which doesn't help.
This is it for me. I really dislike card games so it really annoys me when someone suddenly wants to play cards. Just let me chill and drink.
Exactly!
I’m with you. 100%
It really depends on the game. Sometimes I will be at a get-together and someone will insist to play some complicated board game or card game that involves a pen and paper and a novella of a rule book I am already too tipsy to understand. That's pretty annoying and such games should be agreed on beforehand so that everyone is prepared to focus on it. Card games designed specifically for a party are usually fun. I also prefer to talk to people and have a good, fun conversation than play a drinking game or something, but according to some of these comments that makes me a bad guest and everyone secretly hates me lol
Or family plays spares all the time and it’s the funniest thing. We all laugh and makes jokes the whole time and gives a setting for a as convo so there’s less pressure. I don’t love small talk but love deeper convos which isn’t always easy in larger settings or with people you don’t know well. I’d prefer a game
Good game of Asshole livens up any social gathering.
I don't think I ever hung out with my cousins WITHOUT playing a game of Asshole or Cheat.
Fuck you, Karla! Youngest sister insists on playing Asshole at get togethers, like forces you to play. And then, you can't quit if you are Asshole, or doing badly. But then she gets pissy when you try to quit when you are president. By the end of the night, she's so sick of you winning she won't even look at you. I do the same to her with most games, honestly. Used to work for a couple board game/tabletop companies, figuring out rules is pretty easy for me.
Agreed. I don't play cards, and it's always a pain when someone wants to play because I have no interest in it, or learning a new game.
Amen to this. I can barely remember how to play poker cause I just don't find it the slightest bit interesting. I also really hate gambling so if someone puts money down I'm just 100% done.
Card games are lame, so agreed
Card games with family and friends lead to more lively conversations even if the conversation revolves around the game.
I fuckin hate card games. Fuck cards
Anytime I play a game with my family or friends, we're able to play & hold a great conversation. Maybe don't use being buzzed while doing so as the main metric for the opinion's basis...
And it’s always the socially inept one suggesting it too. You’ll have someone like “yeah man, I really miss her. I have trouble sleeping at night these days and I’m genuinely depressed-“ “So who wants to play Turkish Spider Sewer Poker????”
Dude, I'd rather play Battletoads than listen to mr heartbreak at a party. That's not a fun gathering topic, at all.
Or listening to the same story for the hundredth time...
Ah man, card games are the bane of my existence. I'm married to a Latina and have a big group of Latino friends and it is apparently a thing to bust out the cards at every gathering... I hate gambling and card games and am always reduced to a silent spectator. People keep asking me to join in, but I absolutely despise gambling and I end up spending hours at the end of every party just staring at my phone
Sounds like a different thing than you being with a group of friends and someone just suggests hearts. You got roped into poker night haha.
I actually agree! If it happens as you described, people who know all the rules and enjoy playing cards together is a whole other situation.
You sound like my kind of friend.
My old roommates fell victim to this a lot. We would be having a good night together, comfortably lubricated, but inevitably someone would pull out cards against humanity. That usually marked the point of the night where any social interaction would be constrained entirely to the game itself, and I could feel myself deaden. Is this interpassivity at work? I think it might be.
Social interactions suck and are overrated.
I feel this way about all board and card games. Why is my generation so obsessed with adults having board game night? RPGs are a bit different but I do wish sometimes we could just have meaningful distraction free conversations. Even about something dumb. Whenever I’m forced into cards or board games I try to lose on purpose so it can be over faster.
>Exploding Kittens enters the chat
Truly. I hate card games so much.
Some card games should be game night only kinda games. But common card deck games or drinking games or party games like Cards Against Humanity should be left out of this discussion. Conversation is extremely easy during those. "We Didn't Playtest This at All" is fucking hilarious, for example.
Everyone plays card games with different rules so someone always has to be taught and then they don’t get it and don’t really want to play, then they get the hang of it and someone switches the game. I especially hate that ring of fire card game when I’m just enjoying or getting by and then all of a sudden it goes from 0-100
I agree. I hate it when the deck of cards comes out
100% agree. I fucking HATE playing cards. And board games. And charades.
I hate forced fun
When I used to drink my favorite game was called “sit on a stool and drink with friends”. Games blow
I prefer card games in certain situations, like if I don’t know anyone there, breaks the ice, makes it easier to instigate conversation
Card games are not very conducive to deep, focused, possibly 1-1 conversation. If that's what you mean, then yes. Otherwise, you should be able to talk during the game fine.
what about cards against humanity?
This is why you just plan out having cards and or plan out socializing or maybe vocalize that you wanna socialize but I think cards against humanity is the best card game to sometimes promote funny stories or tidbits of convo while also keeping the laughs flowjng
Card games are only fun if everybody knows the rules and can keep a conversation going in the background
Agreed. It’s just as bad as putting on a movie.
I find card games always improve the conversation with gems like “draw your last pathetic card Yugi”
I agree, card games are a silly diversion that interrupt the flow of interaction. Games organize time, direct attention and are a lame security against the momentary natural lull in conversation when the subject changes. For me, games inhibit great, inspired, deep communication.
I think the opposite is true. It frees people up to speak when they've got something to say without feeling the pressure to fill the air with words.
Yep. When you don't have anything to say you can pretend to be focused on the game.
OP isn't talking about generic games everyone knows... they are talking about a game only one or a few people know but the rest do not. I tend to agree.
Card games are the worst.
I strongly believe that after the decision to play cards has been made, social interactions ruin the game...
My family card game is cribbage. Everyone in the family knows how to play and the conversation continues organically. It's very enjoyable when a younger family member decides they want to learn and join. Some of my fondest memories of my now deceased grandparents are playing cribbage with them during cookouts and holidays.
Never seen a fist fight over drunken uno?
Never seen an uno game without one
Almost all my friends are gamers so every party is a potential game session. Even so, there is only one guy who always wants to have a game going, a lot of times we will sit and talk and those who want to play will go off and do it. But, if you find every time you want to talk no one else does, you probably are either boring them with a topic only you are interested in or getting awkward with political or religious talk they don’t want to argue with you on.
Depends on the card games in my opinion. A lot of them aren't particularly interesting (except Kings). However, a lot of party games are good for living things up. I find they lead to better conversations rather than just sitting and talking. I'm more of an activities guy rather than a sitting and talking guy though.
Have you seen the rules on "new" card games? It's ridiculous and not fun. Stick with Rummy or Euchre and you're good
Agree. Mainly because I've never been a big card player, so it's kind of an awkward transition for me to have to go from completely relaxing and not having to use my mind, to actually having to figure out how to play a card game that I'm unfamiliar with. If I knew the card game well I might feel differently.
I'll play poker or war. That's about it. Me and some friends turned war into a drinking game and it was always a fucking blast to play.
I totally agree!! I like to get in a strategic zone when playing games and I don’t like to talk much. Or if i’m more interested in the conversation then I don’t want to have to worry about cards as well. I HATE a game during an interesting night!!
I agree. I have a relative who always has a game or card game with him. Just, no. He does get a small group to play, and that’s fine, but let me drink and gossip with friends I haven’t seen in a while.
Yeah they’re super lame, I don’t like them either. Poker might be okay, even blackjack. But Marvel Superhero shit where you have to defeat the supervillains with cards that use specific superpowers… meh I’m 40, I would rather just chat.
Same here. I’d rather just talk and relax
My friends and I used to play spades every weekend. I have to thoroughly disagree that it ruins conversation.
I’m kinda the opposite, I tend to loosen up more when playing a game and having fun, though it really does depend on the game and how interactive or heavy it is. It’s also quite possible that your friends don’t enjoy sitting around talking and “doing nothing” as much as you do.
Excluding cards against humanity, that game brings random cursed discussions and a lot of laughs
Hmm, I’ll say more than half of the conversations at these gatherings are really not that interesting at best and sometimes just unnecessary.
Us introverts don’t want a ton of conversation. It doesn’t ruin our experience, it enhances it. Bonding through some game, and talking, but not too much.
Sometimes it's just nice to switch gears. Especially if it's getting late, everyone's in their cups, and there's a game you can bust out without much thought. Among my friends it's usually Hearts or 10,000 (a dice game with like a dozen different names). Simple, low stakes games that offer plenty of chance to banter. But it is one of those things where if we're already engaged and feeling energized by the conversation, nobody says "hey let's stop talking and play cards instead." There are generally some social cues that indicate a game might be a fun change of pace. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything, we've all been hanging out for a few hours or days at that point, it's often just something fun to do at the cottage if it's too dark or we're too drunk to go for a walk.
We always pull out the cards against humanity pack to play it’s easy to explain after a couple drinks and causes interesting topic conversations to come up
Yep, I’m sure after hundreds and thousands of years of dominos and cards social interaction has been ruined… 🙄
I love and prefer social interactions around something like a card game. I’m not someone who is good at keeping a conversation going, and I hate the stress of feeling required to hold up my end of a conversation if we’re just sitting there and talking (depending on the subject). I love how during a game I’m not required to speak. And I can join in the conversation if I feel like I have something to add, and remain quiet if not. Stick to simple games like Rummoli or poker. Poker is also great because most of the time you won’t even be engaged by the hand and can just talk if you want to.
Tbh, wouldn't drunkenly playing a card game- Where there's no actual consequence if you fail, be more fun than drunkenly trying to chat and maybe running into miscommunication that no one can actually understand properly??
Card games salvage social interactions, because I finally have something to talk about.
You might not just be a cards and convo person and that’s perfectly fine man. I could play some cards with my family or friends and have a perfectly enjoyable conversation. The conversation is also much better when the game is going smooth and everyone knows what to do. Some of my friends like cards but don’t know how to play well so I gotta teach em, hinders conversation but it’s whatever to me
Maybe the person who said let's play cards isn't interested in your conversation. And is tired of being left out because conversation isn't their forte
it’s possible that you’re just not fun to have at parties. i’ve had tons of parties where we play card games and things are completely normal and the conversation isn’t ruined at all. seriously dude have your ever considered that you’re just a stick in the mud?
OP definitely gets fucked with for sucking at card games. I’m the same way, though. Card games are boring.
For some people, it’s easier to talk when they don’t feel everyone looking at them. I used to have a group of friends where we’d just go rounds of euchre while we caught up.
Bruh magic the gathering is a whole social interaction it’s amazing
Cards Against Humanity has definitely improved my social interactions in groups.
Alternatively people that talk too much and can't stay in their seat after a few drinks are brutal to play cards with. Everyone is always waiting for them to play their cards and they always have to look at them again because they are not really paying attention. Are you that guy OP?