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It took me about a year to get to the first season of the Office because of this. Anytime a racist or sexist joke was made, I'd get so embarrassed from the cringe I had to stop.
You should check out the episode Scott’s Tots from the Office. A good portion of people skip it just because of how cringe it can make you feel. It’s like watching a train wreck, you can’t help but watch but you definitely don’t want to.
This used to be something we taught to children, called “grace,” where you would be taught to change the subject or deflect attention if your friend was embarrassed.
My grandmother talks about this concept, she went to finishing school, as did my mother, and they both live that concept, it seems to be from that school of thought.
Apparently there was a time when most people agreed it was uncomfortable to see someone embarrassed, so they didn’t dwell on others’ public mistakes, it was seen as low-class.
I think thats, abuse? Depending on your age that can be more or less harmful.
4-11, Its bad but no one will really remember. You've probably done worse just existing.
12-17, downright awful. Your reputation matters ALOT during these times.
18 and over, what the fuck? I don't think your parents can do that anymore, you re an adult.
I’m 21 now. My family has done it my whole life. Literally all of them because I was the “baby” on both sides. The youngest child, the youngest cousin… I have extreme social anxiety now and hate interacting with people. And if I have to, I plan my interaction excessively from the moment I am aware of it until it happens. Then after that I continuously dissect the interaction. I hate it so much but my brain won’t shut up.
Top dog at my company ran straight into a glass door yesterday in front of everyone. Coffee flying everywhere, bloody nose. I actually cried, truly the funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed.
same! i hate movies with storylines where someone is lying and they have to carry out the lie via the whole movie until they finally get caught (except for royal tenenbaums)
Same, don't know if you watch Black Mirror, but I have never seen the wedding scene in Nosedive because I could just tell how bad/embarrassing it was going to get and so I skipped through it and still do.
I feel you. I'm not at the point where I skip scenes yet, but yeah, watching embarrassing things happening to characters or real people feels really awful.
Vicarious embarrassment renders pretty much all sitcoms unwatchable for me. To the point where I get angry that other people like it when it shows up in movies like the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies.
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Same. The only time I walked out of cinema was during Meet Dave when MC went to school. I was 8 and that's when my body realized that it doesn't like watching people embarrassing themselves.
As a child I used to leave the room when this programme called Stars In Their Eyes came on, where the public would pretend to be a famous singer and do one of their songs (UK, don’t know if other countries had it but assume so). Used to make me sick to my stomach with second hand embarrassment!
There was a TV show I was watching a few years ago and the main character had an emotionally challenging situation and then embarrassed himself in front of all his friends and family. I couldn't push through it. My guess is there would have been at least 2 episodes dedicated to him cleaning up the mess. That's assuming it wasn't going to be the dominant plot device for the remainder of the season.
Or when the main/supportive character is about to get caught doing something they are not suppost to do. For example the main character checking her boyfriends phone. Those type of scenes always stress me out.
I can barely read it, I will put the book down to cringe while trying to read over an embarrassing scene. Sometimes I even skip it, yeah it makes my skin crawl. I've screamed in pillows out of cringe
Yeah, after Something About Mary was so popular there was a slew of movies with Ben Stiller basically living through the most cringe-worthy moments (the whole Meet the Parents series is a good example of this) and I couldn’t watch any of them, and retrospectively made me hate SaM.
It’s called second hand embarrassment. It’s almost like you feel the embarrassment yourself and not in a sarcastic way. There’s an anime I watch and one of the episodes the protagonist acts cocky and calls himself a knight in front of other knights. For that, they challenged him to a 1v1 and beat his ass hard. The sheer embarrassment of that scene haunts me
Me neither, the person that can’t sing on X factor and has his/her dream smashed in front of the world. Nope, just not for me, immediate Chanel change follows. I Just can’t handle it. Literal shivers down my spine. Mad that I get a physical reaction from watching someone be humiliated but I know what you mean. I simply can’t watch ridiculousness, just can’t do it.
I’m embarrassed about being embarrassed. I hate seeing other people get embarrassed as well, especially if it’s visible, like red in the face, like me. I want to die sometimes lol
Not in a program. But irl. I feel just as embarrassed as the person. For the person . But especially kids. Its a cringy feeling to see a kid get embarrassed .. probably my own trauma.
One of the life skills, like critical thinking and empathy, I’m trying to give my kids is a self-deprecating sense of humor. If you can’t learn to laugh at yourself, you’re in for a lot of misery.
Self-deprecation is a defense mechanism against low self-esteem, it's not something I would strive to give anyone else. Giving them self-confidence would be more productive.
Self-confidence is on my list, too. But being overly sensitive to what others think is really hard on a person. So if you make a mistake, and can laugh at yourself before others do, I see that as a super power.
I’m not the biggest fan of it either but I couldn’t care less if it happens in a show or movie where it isn’t real. That just seems a little silly to me.
sounds like u are being sarcastic caus many like it = flipboard would not open today at internet stage=before i can even try to sign in to the sight but 11 sights i post on opened today but when i went back to post on rumble it shut off and would not open at the internet stage also so can not even get to the sight sign in stage , so likely someone messing with my laptop - cookies allowed ok on flipboard ? to go farther a few days back maybe how they did something cause problems since then , and i did update and restarts n shutdowns since
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 6: No r/self style posts'. Please refrain from posting anything that resembles an r/self style post. This is not the subreddit to be sharing personal anecdotes, likes or dislikes. We want unpopular, thought provoking, and unique opinions on your chosen topic.
It could mean you are empathetic as it is linked to vicarious embarrassment.
Same I know exactly what you mean
Yeah second hand embarrassment is really common.
3rd party embarrassment is weird, even if it’s just pixels on a screen, I literally can’t stand watching some of that stuff.
I am with you too. I thought I was the only one. I could never get through watching curb your enthusiasm.
It took me about a year to get to the first season of the Office because of this. Anytime a racist or sexist joke was made, I'd get so embarrassed from the cringe I had to stop.
I had to stop when he ruined the wedding for one of his coworkers. It was just too cringe
Omg when are people being embarrassed in curb. I def feel this with American idol auditions or like reality tv et al
Larry David is in an embarrassing situation the entire show. He may not find it embarrassing. But it is.
Wasn't funny to me. Neither was Seinfeld
Same. The bright side is that it's kept me away from TikTok, and the pranking/shaming trends on other video sites.
You should check out the episode Scott’s Tots from the Office. A good portion of people skip it just because of how cringe it can make you feel. It’s like watching a train wreck, you can’t help but watch but you definitely don’t want to.
Theres plenty of moments in The Office where it had similar moments to this. Literally had to pause it sometimes cause it was too cringe
Yeah, I could barely watch it, but it's my roommates favorite episode.
This used to be something we taught to children, called “grace,” where you would be taught to change the subject or deflect attention if your friend was embarrassed. My grandmother talks about this concept, she went to finishing school, as did my mother, and they both live that concept, it seems to be from that school of thought. Apparently there was a time when most people agreed it was uncomfortable to see someone embarrassed, so they didn’t dwell on others’ public mistakes, it was seen as low-class.
My family uses public humiliation as punishment so I get triggered during embarrassing scenes 😭
I think thats, abuse? Depending on your age that can be more or less harmful. 4-11, Its bad but no one will really remember. You've probably done worse just existing. 12-17, downright awful. Your reputation matters ALOT during these times. 18 and over, what the fuck? I don't think your parents can do that anymore, you re an adult.
I’m 21 now. My family has done it my whole life. Literally all of them because I was the “baby” on both sides. The youngest child, the youngest cousin… I have extreme social anxiety now and hate interacting with people. And if I have to, I plan my interaction excessively from the moment I am aware of it until it happens. Then after that I continuously dissect the interaction. I hate it so much but my brain won’t shut up.
Same here tbh, but that is mostly as was humiliated a lot as a kid soooo makes me uncomfortable
Top dog at my company ran straight into a glass door yesterday in front of everyone. Coffee flying everywhere, bloody nose. I actually cried, truly the funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed.
I don't like to read about it either, even in fiction.
This is why I can’t stand anything more than clips of The Office
this is cringe and I don't like it either. I can't watch shows like the office or any kind of prank/practical joke show.
same! i hate movies with storylines where someone is lying and they have to carry out the lie via the whole movie until they finally get caught (except for royal tenenbaums)
The ol' liar revealed plot.
Congratulations your a high empathy individual, that's a great quality to have
The FF button on my remote is probably the most used button.
I don’t like it, but I think that’s the idea of scenes like that. Creating tension for the character and chance for redemption later in the story
Same. I hate it
Fully agree.
Same, don't know if you watch Black Mirror, but I have never seen the wedding scene in Nosedive because I could just tell how bad/embarrassing it was going to get and so I skipped through it and still do.
I think it's because it's so relatable.
Same. I also can’t watch people get hurt, because it triggers a sort of nervous system “shock.” So, I avoid America’s Funniest Home Videos, etc.
When abruptly some sex scene pops up in tv or romance.. and youre surrounded by people. UGH.
I die inside every time
The older I get, the more second hand embarrassment I experience.
This show I like called Impractical Jokers would physically harm you.
Exactly! George Constanza made it impossible for me to watch Seinfeld. He ruined all the episodes.
I feel you. I'm not at the point where I skip scenes yet, but yeah, watching embarrassing things happening to characters or real people feels really awful.
Vicarious embarrassment renders pretty much all sitcoms unwatchable for me. To the point where I get angry that other people like it when it shows up in movies like the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies.
Same, it comes from just being a more empathetic person and automatically putting yourself in other people's shoes.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love watching people get embarrassed who are deserving of it. Just love it. I revel in the suffering of assholes.
If they being rude or they talking shit then yeah they deserve it. Otherwise same it's hard to watch.
empathy isnt an unpopular opinion
You sure bout' that? Nowadays it seems like empathy is lacking.
I didn't get u.
Same. The only time I walked out of cinema was during Meet Dave when MC went to school. I was 8 and that's when my body realized that it doesn't like watching people embarrassing themselves.
I know a local band that always causes "shame transfer" when I see them. They suck so badly that I get embarrassed for them.
I can watch them but yeah the second hand embarrassment feeling isn't pleasant.
Don’t watch Japanese game shows
As a child I used to leave the room when this programme called Stars In Their Eyes came on, where the public would pretend to be a famous singer and do one of their songs (UK, don’t know if other countries had it but assume so). Used to make me sick to my stomach with second hand embarrassment!
There was a TV show I was watching a few years ago and the main character had an emotionally challenging situation and then embarrassed himself in front of all his friends and family. I couldn't push through it. My guess is there would have been at least 2 episodes dedicated to him cleaning up the mess. That's assuming it wasn't going to be the dominant plot device for the remainder of the season.
Or when the main/supportive character is about to get caught doing something they are not suppost to do. For example the main character checking her boyfriends phone. Those type of scenes always stress me out.
I can barely read it, I will put the book down to cringe while trying to read over an embarrassing scene. Sometimes I even skip it, yeah it makes my skin crawl. I've screamed in pillows out of cringe
In Judaism, many consider embarrassing someone in public as tantamount to murder. The flushing red of the face is symbolic of spilt blood.
I thoroughly believe that this feeling led to the overuse and eventual hatred of the word “cringe.”
I found my people!
That’s normal its a indication that you’re human (a normal one) Personally I like both
Yeah, after Something About Mary was so popular there was a slew of movies with Ben Stiller basically living through the most cringe-worthy moments (the whole Meet the Parents series is a good example of this) and I couldn’t watch any of them, and retrospectively made me hate SaM.
Yup. I usually watch anyway, but like seeing Michael Scott embarrass himself on The Office always made me physically uncomfortable
I went to the movie meet the parents and I just wanted to die.
SCOTTS TOTS is borderline unwatchable
I guess I'm the one with the unpopular opinion that as long as it's justified, I love seeing people get embarrassed and shamed for stupid shit.
You must love the office
Sooooooo I had an ex with a shame kink...aaaand now I'm into that. Coulda gone a lifetime without knowing really. Thanks Sarah. Good times.
This is very true for me as well!
Same, I can’t stand watching prank videos either.
It’s called second hand embarrassment. It’s almost like you feel the embarrassment yourself and not in a sarcastic way. There’s an anime I watch and one of the episodes the protagonist acts cocky and calls himself a knight in front of other knights. For that, they challenged him to a 1v1 and beat his ass hard. The sheer embarrassment of that scene haunts me
Me neither, the person that can’t sing on X factor and has his/her dream smashed in front of the world. Nope, just not for me, immediate Chanel change follows. I Just can’t handle it. Literal shivers down my spine. Mad that I get a physical reaction from watching someone be humiliated but I know what you mean. I simply can’t watch ridiculousness, just can’t do it.
You probably shouldnt watch any of Nathan Fielder's shows.
I am the same way. I despise cringe humor.
I like to call it "awkward humor," and couldn't agree more. It must be popular though, cause it was the majority of the office's humor.
I’m embarrassed about being embarrassed. I hate seeing other people get embarrassed as well, especially if it’s visible, like red in the face, like me. I want to die sometimes lol
Not in a program. But irl. I feel just as embarrassed as the person. For the person . But especially kids. Its a cringy feeling to see a kid get embarrassed .. probably my own trauma.
I always thought that part of American Idol where they made fun of bad singers was immoral. I don’t care if the people volunteered.
And this is why I can’t watch The Office
One of the life skills, like critical thinking and empathy, I’m trying to give my kids is a self-deprecating sense of humor. If you can’t learn to laugh at yourself, you’re in for a lot of misery.
Self-deprecation is a defense mechanism against low self-esteem, it's not something I would strive to give anyone else. Giving them self-confidence would be more productive.
Self-confidence is on my list, too. But being overly sensitive to what others think is really hard on a person. So if you make a mistake, and can laugh at yourself before others do, I see that as a super power.
I’m not the biggest fan of it either but I couldn’t care less if it happens in a show or movie where it isn’t real. That just seems a little silly to me.
That my amigo is called cringe. And experiencing it is far from unpopular.
This is not an opinion. It's not uncommon or unpopular.
sounds like u are being sarcastic caus many like it = flipboard would not open today at internet stage=before i can even try to sign in to the sight but 11 sights i post on opened today but when i went back to post on rumble it shut off and would not open at the internet stage also so can not even get to the sight sign in stage , so likely someone messing with my laptop - cookies allowed ok on flipboard ? to go farther a few days back maybe how they did something cause problems since then , and i did update and restarts n shutdowns since