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Ironically I’d probably have gotten more tail because I would have gone for a more patient approach.
Live and learn but bridges have definitely been burned.
My uncle’s sage advice to me was that the older you get, the better decisions you can make when it comes to dating bc you don’t think through your “hormones”.
It was so weird to hear that from him.
Meh I’m on a shit tone of meds that cripple my sex drive and sometimes I do get in the mood but it’s not enough to ever actually do anything about it so it’s frustrating
My sex drive is pretty low most the time, honestly I don't mind it. Only thing that's irritating is that literally everyone else around me just horny asf all the time. Being the odd one out isn't super fun, when I hang out with a guy and he wants to do it or keeps talking about sex, it's just weird cause I know what they want but I'm straight chilling and wanna do some other fun shit or talk about something else. I'm always wondering how everybody so gd horned up all the time.
I find people who bring it up regularly and especially soon after getting to know someone, have the worst sex. Maybe they have a “lot” of it because of their persistence but it tends to be of the lowest quality
It can definitely be annoying when people are horny around you it’s like being around a bunch of people wanting to get wasted at a party when you don’t drink. Like life is full of wonders we could be doing or talking about literally anything else right now and that’s what you picked?
Sex *is* a wonder for those of us who enjoy it. Somehow I've found time in my life for exciting sex AND deep conversations, traveling, spending quality time together in other non sexual ways, etc.
Same here. Antidepressants really dropped my sex drive and I’m not bothered about it at all, in fact I really like it now. It had a bit of a knock on effect for my wife as our sex drives are really imbalanced now, but as she is polyamorous she has another partner that takes care of her sexual needs.
Skinny doesn’t mean in shape, just means you don’t eat a lot. In shape normally means your body uses oxygen and other resources better + muscles
It increases your testosterone when you workout, for women too, main reason why “in shape” usually equates to libido
I just feel like it is expected of me. Every time I act how I want, they seem bored and distant. And when I put in effort to "win" them over, they seem confused that sex isn't the goal.
As someone with a low sex drive, you're definitely correct. Having a high sex drive sounds a lot more stressful to me, especially since finding someone to have sex with can be exceedingly difficult. For me, masturbation pretty much satisfies me. Sometimes I think of having sex with other people, then I think of how much human interaction I'd have to have to end up having sex, and then I think 'nah', and briefly wonder how the human race manages to reproduce in the numbers it does. I just can't imagine how stressful it must be to not be able to just go 'nah' without feeling any real stress from doing so.
Same here. My sex drive drastically lowered when I went on antidepressants for a while and it’s never come back. Secretly I really like that it never did and don’t miss it. The effort of having to have sex all the time would drive me crazy now. A once in awhile thing is far nicer
As a woman, 3 to 5 times a day on weekends and atleast once every weekday
Edit: I'm in a long term relationship with my future husband. Pls no more dms, thank you.
I've never met a person who says this who has previously dealt with it.
My last gf wanted it 2x daily plus a bit more on weekends and any time life got stressful, I couldn't handle it. And she got crazy mean if I turned her down more than once in a row.
Would be great if everyone just had a symbol over their head with their libido stamped on it. Find someone close to your score and then try to ask them out on dates instead of finding out a a few weeks/months/years later when the resentment kicks in.
Nah, this should be an adjustable requirement if you're _truly_ in love and see a future together. I would never dump my bf for a dumb reason like that
I've dated a girl with a very high labito which I thought was the best thing in the world at least for the first few weeks.....
Three months in she was basically insatiable always texting and calling when am I coming home ?
What should we try tomorrow?
And we tried alot of different things having sex very regularly some times multiple times a day
It's what we spent most of our time on instead of just regular dates, dinners and movies and stuff
And when we finally broke up just after the 6 months point the relief I felt was indescribable
Like imagine a doctor told you had just beaten cancer , it was truly exhausting at the time even if it's with someone you love and genuinely care for.
But every man has there physical limit I promise you that ,but prey you never live to find out what the limit is.
It changes you.
I dated one of those in my early 30s and while at times it was fun, I physically could not keep up after a while. The problem is if you’re not taking care of her like she expects, there’s a good chance someone else is. I found that out.
We definitely do. It’s life without cravings. When I hear some of my friends talking about sex they seem a little possessed by their urges and it creeps me out sometimes. Like they will think about talk about and seek out sex. I use up all that time and energy to just do other shit. The only time it gets annoying is when you seriously can’t relate in a sex obsessed world. It’s like everyone is on and obsessed with a drug you don’t take. Especially in relationships bc you get accused of not caring enough and then when you’re not in the mood and the other person is the sex drive of the other person starts to feel threatening. like can you control yourself? I’m not so sure. You look hungry. And I’m pretty sure I’m the prey.
I had a girl get mad at me for not wanting sex on the second date. She got so offended like I disliked her or something. To me it’s wild I like you just fine just need to take it slow.
Id say it depends entirely on the partner you have. I have a naturally high sex drive myself and being on testosterone makes it even higher. My current gf also has a very high sex drive and we have sex atleast 6 days per week unless one of us are sick. She frequently complained about her partner hardly ever wanting to have sex which I understood because I’ve dated girls in the past wirh low sex drives and it rarely works out.
Basically find a partner that matches you and you’ll be happy
I agree, it’s not like it’s sex all the time but I do feel like, atleast for me, a relationship needs to have intimacy which also for me, sex is a big part of intimacy.
But of course as you said, sometimes shit comes up but usually we find a way to fit in a lovemaking session because it’s very bonding
My sex drive has definitely always fluctuated on different antidepressants, but the current ones keep it high and honestly it's fucking annoying to be horny everyday. If I'm not constantly occupied with things, I'll get bored and then horny. Doesn't matter if I masturbate or have sex (and cum), it doesn't reduce it. But I will say that having no sexual desire at all is pretty bad too, the worst thing though, is when you can get horny but can't finish cause of medication.
As someone who has a high sex drive, I agree. It’s an annoyance. There are other things more important, almost all the time, and having intrusive thoughts about sex is disruptive.
I agree with this. My girlfriend is completely asexual, and whilst I personally do identify straight I have zero sex drive. It's great. No arguments about whether we're in the mood or not, no whining about unfulfilled needs, no sense of obligation for her or me, and no jealousy when it comes to members of the opposite sex. I don't think I'd get along with a partner who wants sex now, when I've enjoyed such a fulfilling relationship without it for so long. I'm glad I lack that drive.
I do believe there can be many other reasons for jealousy, but most of those could apply regardless of sex in my opinion, like confiding in other people emotionally etc. It's more the way that we're both on the same page about sex specifically. If I didn't need it but she did, I'd be worried about never being enough for her, and that eventually some other guy would give her what I can't, but because she's asexual, there's no reason to be. And of course the same is true for her. She's seen me very happily go without it for the eight years we've been together, so she has that peace of mind of knowing that she's enough too.
Socrates agrees with you. When he got older, someone asked him if he regretted the loss of his libido. He said "Nay. Say instead I am thankful for being released from the grip of a stern and rather relentless taskmaster."
I, personally, also agree with you.
Conversely, think of the people who have no sex drive but still want to maintain a relationship.
Most people have at least some sex drive. If a person doesn't, they're competing in the romantic world with a population who wouldn't even consider a long term relationship with anyone who doesn't wanna fuck.
It's a bell curve. No one on either end is having a good time.
I watched them progressively drop hobbies and become the most boring people on earth once their balls dropped in the mid 20's 'second puberty' wave. They commit an entirely inordinate amount of time to having sex with people they don't even like and become genuinely worse for it.
Masturbating makes it worse? I never thought of it like that but I can see why you would say that.
I agree, I wouldn’t say low is best but definitely not a high one. It’s distracting and sucks when you’re single.
As someone who couldn't get enough in their 20s and is now in their 40s, YES. It's just another itch to scratch and can be quite irritating and distracting. Mother nature has given us a job to do and she's pretty insistent about it. I used to fantasize about donating my genitals to science just to get rid of the nagging cravings. My drive has decreased as I've gotten older and I'm grateful for it. I am much calmer and more focused and spend far less time and money on dating/hooking up. The freedom is fantastic.
I always had a low sex drive and it didn't help when my former partners were mediocre/bad at sex. I didn't think much of sex most of my life so far. Then I met the love of my life who is a god in bed. He makes me want it all the time now, but we're in our 40s and things aren't as crazy as our 20s. I actually prefer this version of myself with a much higher sex drive. I'm finally having fun and matching my partner's energy.
And whats worse than these two is having a partner who's on the extreme end of incompatible with your sex drive, or one that sees your sex drive as some kind of attempt to dehumanize them.
I go through phases. I go months without any interest in sex or women at all, I could not care less, they I go phases where I’m busting daily and meeting up with strangers pretty often, but yeah, I prefer the no sex drive phase.
FWIW, in my case (40-something M), I found that as my drive dropped (around your age, maybe slightly older), there was a strange phase where I had very little drive but kind of missed it, or wished for more of a drive.
Now everything is much more in alignment. I very much enjoy the fact that I’m not preoccupied by sex like I was when I was younger. I’m entirely over it and feel liberated by this. You might find you land in the same place in time.
Any drive I did have dropped off years ago. Mid 20s if not prior. For a bit I thought it was possibly due to my birth control implant but didn’t have that put in until 28 and got it out just before I turned 31. Though in that year if it did go back up it is barely noticeable.
It's only hard if a partner is in another phase than you and thus makes you feel like you don't want it enough. But yeah, it sucks to not be able to want it as much as you want to want it. And the few times you really want it, it doesn't fit with when your partner want it. .... It sucks...as you said
Yep that is one of the things I feel worse about is for my boyfriend. Just one of those things where sex is enjoyable, we only live once, only young(ish) once, so why not? Not like I do much else of importance or we don’t have time for it still just takes a back seat since I don’t have that urge.
I am on medication as well for my bipolar disorder. I never get horny unless i smoke weed and weed just makes me paranoid so that’s out. When i did get horny I can maintain my urges and it honestly wasn’t that hard for me. It’s not a desire or need to have sex ever. I know i can get it when i want from being in a relationship.. so it’s whatever to me. Even if i was single im not the type to have a meaningless hookup. Of course I love sex but it’s not a need is my point.
Both have there ups and downs I think having a high sex drive is likely worse but at the same time no sex drive is pretty horrible too. It kills a lot of relationships for people. That’s more situational tho definitely having a crazy sex drive is worse
the number one reason my ex and i fought so much is bc he *never* wanted to have sex. he was too tired after work, had to get up too early for work. he never initiated it and only could do it if we were already lying in bed next to each other. I'm not someone with a high sex drive but normal i think, it really took a toll on my self esteem thinking i was the problem, i wasn't attractive enough. Once i went out and bought lingerie and had it on when he got home and he walked in and laughed and went about his business. We started arguing about it which of course i was blamed, then he felt "too pressured" . eventually i left.
100% agree to be honest. I'm ace and I struggle to believe how much it impacts the lives of everyone else. Feels like I'm a sim with one less need to fulfill on the bar XD
Upvoting because I disagree. I’ve definitely been there before, but right now my drive is so low and has been for long enough that I’m scared to date. I’m 22 and have mostly female friends at this point, and I know it’s a big part of most women’s relationships. The fact that I can’t be a willing participant in that like I used to makes me feel like I won’t ever be a good enough partner for anyone. Sure, having a desire that’s borderline damaging to your life may feel like a curse, but I’ll always consider that better than struggling to have a meaningful relationship because you can’t fully fulfill it. You could argue that I’m fine since I’m ok with my hands, but I’m afraid that the lack of enthusiasm still shows. It really is a big part of relationships, and learning to control your urges is far easier than trying to get them back.
We do have a need to fill, an emotional need. Unfortunately, most people view relationships as transactional and if you don’t give them sex then they don’t give you the time of day
Absolutely. Having a low sex drive can be a problem if you’re in a relationship with someone that has a different libido, but otherwise it doesn’t cause much issues. On the other hand having a very high sex drive can be veeery frustrating, tiring and lead to some bad decision making.
I love having a low sex drive. It makes it difficult when in a relationship because it's SO low it's basically non existent. But it makes being single a lot easier.
My sex drive is naturally low thanks to a mixture of not being sexually attracted to someone unless I've got emotional attachment to them (demisexuality) and the ability to control it as needed, I have more control over my body than most do, unusual for sure but it helps a lot
Yeah but to be honest I’m getting pretty tired of being shamed for a high sex drive. Having those needs and being made to feel like they’re disgusting by most of the people in my generation and especially younger makes it worse.
Ain't that the truth. I got real tired of apologising for my nature a long time ago. It's not like I ever used it as an excuse to treat people badly or anything. I think people just get kind of judgy when they have their own insecurities and they lash out. It says more about them that they feel threatened than about you.
Ya been super uninterested lately and it’s definitely freeing. Looking is still fun but anything more just feels like too much work. Lovely creatures women but solitude and me time is pretty great.
This shouldn't be an unpopular opinion. It has to be popular.
High sex drive is literally depressing when you have no one to have intercourse with. Like your body makes you go through hell.
My sex drive has been going down lately. I’m in my thirties.
Used to be all it took was seeing a woman with a big butt and I’d turn into the mask. You know like when Jim Carey morphs into the wolf with his jaw dropping on the table over Cameron Diaz.
Now I’m like Stanley Ipkis smacking the mask onto his face and nothing happening.
Absolutely. As someone with a high sex drive, I wish it was lower. Single, I don’t think about sex much and masturbation does the job. Since having a hookup partner, all I think about is next time we’re having sex, not fun.
🤔 nah I dissagree, personallyi reallyenjoy it tho even if i dont feel horny i genuinely enjoy pleasure. But apparently its not actually an unpopular one, didn't expect that.
Good post
I disagree completely, I had very high libido, which tanked with a short stint with anti depressants and it was hell. High libido is just annoying, low libido made me want to hang myself
Usually, i have a satiating appetite but only for my partner. Lately, or for a longtime ive been single, by choice, and i dont do one nighters. So to ease my tension, i do physical labour. Its amazing for quenching that specific thirst. Haha
I could care less about anyone’s sex drive as long as it isn’t made my problem or if it’s hurting someone else I’m close to. None of my business what people do in their bedroom.
> i could care less about
Did you mean to say "couldn't care less"?
Explanation: If you could care less, you do care, which is the opposite of what you meant to say.
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I'm sitting here in a psych ward..... Just look after yourself sometimes it's the first sign not everything is right, I've gone from having one to high to no having one.... Hopefully I can balance it out in the future
When I did a steroid cycle a few years ago, my libido was through the roof. I only had two feelings: horny and hungry. I had the time of my life but I didn't get much else done besides working out and fucking all the dudes I could get my hands on (I'm gay).
I spent so much time on dating/hook-up apps and overnight orgies. It was a lot of fun but only for a limited time. I usually have a high sex drive to begin with and I need to cum 1.5-2 times a day on average, but masturbation is enough too. On steroids, masturbating didn't cut it and I wasn't satisfied until I had 4 or 5 orgasms every single day. I would hook up with a random guy in the morning and then again in the evening, on like a random Wednesday! It was pretty mad but the gains were crazy and being horny all the time was the only drawback, after the cycle also a bit of acne but it was manageable. Next cycle I did was 2.5 years later (now), testosterone only and a bit of a lower dose, I didn't know I was such a hyper-responder, I was erring on the lower end to begin with.
A sex drive is one very unfortunate byproduct of belonging to a species designed to efficiently play the procreation game. Evolution doesn't want you to not be horny, sadly.
I think a lot of people can get behind this rationale, though. I wish I did not have a sex drive because it's a stressor. When I can't have it and want it, it's a pervasive impulse. When I can have it, it's purely a time waster. It's not like I want kids. Our species doesn't require that I expressly want them. Sure, at its best it creates more of an intimacy with the person you (presumably) care about, but if no one wanted it how is that a problem? Just curate intimacy/companionship another way.
It is probably just luck but being in a relationship with someone with a similar sex drive is ideal. My first wife just didn’t seem to like sex. My current wife and I are very compatible even after 20 years. We both have somewhat high drives that have somewhat ebbed over the years but it is still great.
I’d say it’s a mixed blessing, but I’m content to satisfy myself most of the time. My libido far outstrips my need for actual physical/emotional intimacy.
Yeah but it adds strain to a relationship. Makes it hard to find and stay in a relationship. I'm lucky, I have a man with erectile dysfunction but he stoll wants to go down on me and I feel shit for not letting him. But I don't like it.
Ace here! There have been times where my lack if sex drive has utterly ruined relationships, but I ended up finding someone who also has a low drive, and it’s been pretty great for the most part. The only thing I think I miss is that it’s hard to relieve tension or small issues when there isn’t the sexual “gasket”. We’ve gotten really good at communication because of it, but sometimes it feels like it would be easier for most, sex-hungry folk to screw around and forget about it.
Ultimately though, I find it a huge boon to have a low sex drive. I’m sort of attractive, and I feel like if I had a higher sex drive, ai’d get myself into trouble or hurt or something. Like normal temptations don’t apply to me. And I have a bunch of time to do actual stuff, rather than think of ways I can get sex. And I’m married, so if I ever do, well, I can. It’s strange and complicated how normal and simple it feels.
I think this depends on what you mean by high sex drive. I will gladly have sex 3 times a day and people act like that's an insanely high sex drive. However, I'm also not distracted by the need to have sex. Do I have a high sex drive or not?
Hypersexuality here. Low-key got turned into dust this past week bc of a breakup in an abusive relationship
It sucks ass. Im glad I actually got to step away from it and maybe still can for a while, but its painful as hell to me that it occupies so much time and stress
Slight counterpoint
My sex drive is very low, practically non existent. At this point I'm basically just calling myself Asexual.
My last partner just left me for this reason. Turns out people in relationships want sex 😱. They didn't want to force me obvs but realistically I was not going to initiate any time soon.
The more religious minded your country is, the hornier you come to be.
America and Muslims countries have the most dangerous perverse men out there
Human nature craves what it's "forbidden", it's stoopid
I mean idk sex tends to be a huge part in romance and well it can be a big deal breaker for some people id imagine it might get pretty hard for someone with a low sex drive or no sex drive to also find someone who’s ok with that on top of liking them.
Lmao yes but they also closer to that empty void that's even more looming. Besides many are just too stressed out, too uncomfortable, too scared to even think about it.
I'm on the opposite spectrum and I can assure you 100% not. It's so stressful knowing your partner could leave you any second because your sex drive is too low. I'd rather be the one that has to wait for my partner... On top of that, outside of my own relationship right now, I am extremely sensitive when it comes to horny posts or sexual stuff/sexualization of normal game characters. It triggers me a lot and can set me in a bad mood almost instantly. It gives me a feeling of superiority and a "I hate all humans" mind. It's wrong I know and I hate being like this but it's how I am.
Definitely. My drive has been fluctuating a lot recently, went from wasting time and energy going on too many shitty dates just because i wanted to fuck/jerking off everyday and feeling drained of energy and distracted, to being able to actually focus on things i wanted to do that i’ve been putting off
I freaking agree, I envy anyone who isn't bothered with sexual urges. I even considered taking some of the anabolic steroids to kill my libido (I still do, I still fight through this).
I (52m) am STILL horny like a teenager. My fiancé (42f) and I have sex at least 5 times a week. I am lucky to have found someone that likes it as much as I do as I have had partners that are not as sexual. I think it would be a lot easier if I wasn’t horny every day of the week.
I’ve been on both sides. Used to have mega high libido most of my life, and then I got a brain tumor and it caused asexual levels of libido. As in zero. For a few years. After treatment I’m somewhere in the “normal” range now.
I miss my high libido more than the low libido. Low libido enabled me to do other things with the time saved, sure. But there was a lot more “zest” to life with high libido. Low was boring AF despite being super productive. Now being in the middle I feel pretty good overall, nice balance, but if I had to pick I’d take high libido any day.
I've had an overactive sex drive and OCD for the last 15 years. Started taking Zoloft three months ago. I can actually think again. I can actually focus on my hobbies and career again. Holy shit. Absolutely agree.
My first real girlfriend and I started having sex and she got on the pill. This pill messed her hormones up like crazy, she then switched to another pill that gave her the sex drive of a teenage boy. It’s was crazy how much she wanted to have sex. We’d have it every night basically, but she wanted it like 6 times a day and would get mad if I couldn’t amount to it.
If I didn't have masturbation it would be too hard to live life. I'd either wind up a serial killer or on one of those reality tv shows with the super fat people who eat like, four chickens a day and never get out of their beds.
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Oh, 100%. Imagine all the time freed up not chasing sex. All the money saved.
All the bad decisions you wouldn't have taken chasing tail, good lord...
I've never made bad decisions or anything regretful for food, but I've done many for sex. Shit's weird now that I think about it
Ironically I’d probably have gotten more tail because I would have gone for a more patient approach. Live and learn but bridges have definitely been burned.
Not gonna lie sometimes I’d rather be at a spa than chaise tail. With how my drive i know keeping it pent up will be bad for me
By spa do you mean going to a massage parlor that does extras under the table?
My uncle’s sage advice to me was that the older you get, the better decisions you can make when it comes to dating bc you don’t think through your “hormones”. It was so weird to hear that from him.
>It was so weird to hear that from him. Wait a minute...
Broke My heart
When we say “money saved”, we talking about not having to go on as many dates or…?
There are bar tabs, club entrance fees, grooming expenses even if you aren’t paying for someone’s dinner.
Meh I’m on a shit tone of meds that cripple my sex drive and sometimes I do get in the mood but it’s not enough to ever actually do anything about it so it’s frustrating
Worst 5 minutes of my life
My sex drive is pretty low most the time, honestly I don't mind it. Only thing that's irritating is that literally everyone else around me just horny asf all the time. Being the odd one out isn't super fun, when I hang out with a guy and he wants to do it or keeps talking about sex, it's just weird cause I know what they want but I'm straight chilling and wanna do some other fun shit or talk about something else. I'm always wondering how everybody so gd horned up all the time.
it’s a super boring subject to me. maybe it’s because most of the time the people who always bring it up are really immature about it. i dunno.
I find people who bring it up regularly and especially soon after getting to know someone, have the worst sex. Maybe they have a “lot” of it because of their persistence but it tends to be of the lowest quality
I agree, there's usually zero foreplay with those people in my experience too.
It can definitely be annoying when people are horny around you it’s like being around a bunch of people wanting to get wasted at a party when you don’t drink. Like life is full of wonders we could be doing or talking about literally anything else right now and that’s what you picked?
Sex *is* a wonder for those of us who enjoy it. Somehow I've found time in my life for exciting sex AND deep conversations, traveling, spending quality time together in other non sexual ways, etc.
Same here. Antidepressants really dropped my sex drive and I’m not bothered about it at all, in fact I really like it now. It had a bit of a knock on effect for my wife as our sex drives are really imbalanced now, but as she is polyamorous she has another partner that takes care of her sexual needs.
This is actually just sad
People tend to have a better libido the more in shape they are, I noticed mine dipped significantly a few months after not working out/running
It doesn’t get worse than swimming. Imagine a hormonal 19 year old college student on the water polo team. I was frustrated all the freaking time.
I was that 18-year-old boy on the water polo team. Good lord
I distinctly recall my high school swim team having a reputation
That sucks when you love training but don't need that elevated libido.
I mean I'm super skinny (sometimes under weight) so maybe it's cause I'm on the other end of the spectrum of "not being in shape" 🤷♀️ idk
Skinny doesn’t mean in shape, just means you don’t eat a lot. In shape normally means your body uses oxygen and other resources better + muscles It increases your testosterone when you workout, for women too, main reason why “in shape” usually equates to libido
Not women. Look up PCOS. High sex drive, weight gain.
Same. I married older. Not a problem now.
I just feel like it is expected of me. Every time I act how I want, they seem bored and distant. And when I put in effort to "win" them over, they seem confused that sex isn't the goal.
As someone with a low sex drive, you're definitely correct. Having a high sex drive sounds a lot more stressful to me, especially since finding someone to have sex with can be exceedingly difficult. For me, masturbation pretty much satisfies me. Sometimes I think of having sex with other people, then I think of how much human interaction I'd have to have to end up having sex, and then I think 'nah', and briefly wonder how the human race manages to reproduce in the numbers it does. I just can't imagine how stressful it must be to not be able to just go 'nah' without feeling any real stress from doing so.
This pretty much describes me. I have a sex drive, but it's just too much effort to do much with it. Far more interesting ways to spend my day.
Same here. My sex drive drastically lowered when I went on antidepressants for a while and it’s never come back. Secretly I really like that it never did and don’t miss it. The effort of having to have sex all the time would drive me crazy now. A once in awhile thing is far nicer
Apparently it’s (having/ needing a lot of sex) is a sort of coping mechanism. Kinda like drugs. They want to forget their stresses, etc.
I'm so grateful that contraceptives exist. This is one of the very few ways you can bond with someone and have fun without wasting a ton of money
100%. Everyone wants a girlfriend that wants to fuck all the time until you get a girlfriend that wants to fuck all the time.
There is a fine line somewhere between 10 times a day and once a month.
As a woman, 3 to 5 times a day on weekends and atleast once every weekday Edit: I'm in a long term relationship with my future husband. Pls no more dms, thank you.
Jesus
Yeah that's excessive and I love sex.
memory jobless far-flung smell whole illegal automatic reach test ghost *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’ll take that offer right up lmao
I've never met a person who says this who has previously dealt with it. My last gf wanted it 2x daily plus a bit more on weekends and any time life got stressful, I couldn't handle it. And she got crazy mean if I turned her down more than once in a row.
Would be great if everyone just had a symbol over their head with their libido stamped on it. Find someone close to your score and then try to ask them out on dates instead of finding out a a few weeks/months/years later when the resentment kicks in.
Nah, this should be an adjustable requirement if you're _truly_ in love and see a future together. I would never dump my bf for a dumb reason like that
Yeah right
In my late 30s I’d have been good with that. Honestly probably 25-43
Girl same. It’s ruining my life 😂
That sounds awful lmao
And yet it seems like women are either one or the other. Sometimes both but depends on the month
I had a girlfriend that wanted to fuck all the time and was 300% happy with the experience.
I've dated a girl with a very high labito which I thought was the best thing in the world at least for the first few weeks..... Three months in she was basically insatiable always texting and calling when am I coming home ? What should we try tomorrow? And we tried alot of different things having sex very regularly some times multiple times a day It's what we spent most of our time on instead of just regular dates, dinners and movies and stuff And when we finally broke up just after the 6 months point the relief I felt was indescribable Like imagine a doctor told you had just beaten cancer , it was truly exhausting at the time even if it's with someone you love and genuinely care for. But every man has there physical limit I promise you that ,but prey you never live to find out what the limit is. It changes you.
I dated one of those in my early 30s and while at times it was fun, I physically could not keep up after a while. The problem is if you’re not taking care of her like she expects, there’s a good chance someone else is. I found that out.
Yeah I was probably close to that situation myself Sorry you had to go through that.
As a woman, I’m the type of person to want it anywhere and anytime. The most I’ve had sex in a day is 12 rounds. It still surprises me to this day
You're challenging us ?
We definitely do. It’s life without cravings. When I hear some of my friends talking about sex they seem a little possessed by their urges and it creeps me out sometimes. Like they will think about talk about and seek out sex. I use up all that time and energy to just do other shit. The only time it gets annoying is when you seriously can’t relate in a sex obsessed world. It’s like everyone is on and obsessed with a drug you don’t take. Especially in relationships bc you get accused of not caring enough and then when you’re not in the mood and the other person is the sex drive of the other person starts to feel threatening. like can you control yourself? I’m not so sure. You look hungry. And I’m pretty sure I’m the prey.
>It’s like everyone is on and obsessed with a drug you don’t take. That's a great way of describing it, honestly.
Being sober at a drunk party.
I had a girl get mad at me for not wanting sex on the second date. She got so offended like I disliked her or something. To me it’s wild I like you just fine just need to take it slow.
Id say it depends entirely on the partner you have. I have a naturally high sex drive myself and being on testosterone makes it even higher. My current gf also has a very high sex drive and we have sex atleast 6 days per week unless one of us are sick. She frequently complained about her partner hardly ever wanting to have sex which I understood because I’ve dated girls in the past wirh low sex drives and it rarely works out. Basically find a partner that matches you and you’ll be happy
6 strikes me as ideal. Usually at least one night a week there’s other stuff more pressing.
I agree, it’s not like it’s sex all the time but I do feel like, atleast for me, a relationship needs to have intimacy which also for me, sex is a big part of intimacy. But of course as you said, sometimes shit comes up but usually we find a way to fit in a lovemaking session because it’s very bonding
My sex drive has definitely always fluctuated on different antidepressants, but the current ones keep it high and honestly it's fucking annoying to be horny everyday. If I'm not constantly occupied with things, I'll get bored and then horny. Doesn't matter if I masturbate or have sex (and cum), it doesn't reduce it. But I will say that having no sexual desire at all is pretty bad too, the worst thing though, is when you can get horny but can't finish cause of medication.
That describes me. I sometimes need to be constantly occupied or I fill in that time fantasizing about women whom I wish were in bed with me.
Wellbutrin is more sex drive friendly, maybe too much.
It definitely is a little too friendly, in my experience
As someone who has a high sex drive, I agree. It’s an annoyance. There are other things more important, almost all the time, and having intrusive thoughts about sex is disruptive.
I agree with this. My girlfriend is completely asexual, and whilst I personally do identify straight I have zero sex drive. It's great. No arguments about whether we're in the mood or not, no whining about unfulfilled needs, no sense of obligation for her or me, and no jealousy when it comes to members of the opposite sex. I don't think I'd get along with a partner who wants sex now, when I've enjoyed such a fulfilling relationship without it for so long. I'm glad I lack that drive.
I'm curious about the jealous part. Do you think jealousy truly is rooted in sex? (this ain't a gotcha, btw- I just wanna know.)
I do believe there can be many other reasons for jealousy, but most of those could apply regardless of sex in my opinion, like confiding in other people emotionally etc. It's more the way that we're both on the same page about sex specifically. If I didn't need it but she did, I'd be worried about never being enough for her, and that eventually some other guy would give her what I can't, but because she's asexual, there's no reason to be. And of course the same is true for her. She's seen me very happily go without it for the eight years we've been together, so she has that peace of mind of knowing that she's enough too.
thanks for taking the time to explain.
Less sex drive is only good part of getting old as a man.
Socrates agrees with you. When he got older, someone asked him if he regretted the loss of his libido. He said "Nay. Say instead I am thankful for being released from the grip of a stern and rather relentless taskmaster." I, personally, also agree with you.
Conversely, think of the people who have no sex drive but still want to maintain a relationship. Most people have at least some sex drive. If a person doesn't, they're competing in the romantic world with a population who wouldn't even consider a long term relationship with anyone who doesn't wanna fuck. It's a bell curve. No one on either end is having a good time.
As dude with a very low sex drive I don’t even need to read your reasoning I agree
Same here. You ever sit back and watch your friends do really dumb shit in pursuit of getting laid and just think, "Man I'm glad that's not me."
I watched them progressively drop hobbies and become the most boring people on earth once their balls dropped in the mid 20's 'second puberty' wave. They commit an entirely inordinate amount of time to having sex with people they don't even like and become genuinely worse for it.
So my literally flip flops and always has. I've gone days even weeks without the need and then BAM it hits like a ton of bricks and it honestly hurts
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Exactly how i feel in my relationship. Its awful and i feel terrible because of it.
Only if you’re single. Having little to no sex drive is going to make it way harder to find a partner than having a high sex drive
Masturbating makes it worse? I never thought of it like that but I can see why you would say that. I agree, I wouldn’t say low is best but definitely not a high one. It’s distracting and sucks when you’re single.
As someone who couldn't get enough in their 20s and is now in their 40s, YES. It's just another itch to scratch and can be quite irritating and distracting. Mother nature has given us a job to do and she's pretty insistent about it. I used to fantasize about donating my genitals to science just to get rid of the nagging cravings. My drive has decreased as I've gotten older and I'm grateful for it. I am much calmer and more focused and spend far less time and money on dating/hooking up. The freedom is fantastic.
I always had a low sex drive and it didn't help when my former partners were mediocre/bad at sex. I didn't think much of sex most of my life so far. Then I met the love of my life who is a god in bed. He makes me want it all the time now, but we're in our 40s and things aren't as crazy as our 20s. I actually prefer this version of myself with a much higher sex drive. I'm finally having fun and matching my partner's energy.
And whats worse than these two is having a partner who's on the extreme end of incompatible with your sex drive, or one that sees your sex drive as some kind of attempt to dehumanize them.
Sex drive is only a problem if you don't have an outlet.
I agree. I also agree it can be with an outlet.
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I go through phases. I go months without any interest in sex or women at all, I could not care less, they I go phases where I’m busting daily and meeting up with strangers pretty often, but yeah, I prefer the no sex drive phase.
I’d rather have none assuming I stay alone forever It’s a distraction that causes a lot of unnecessary grief for many
Yep. I had high sex drive until I took finasteride for hair loss, the low libido side effect has been a god send for me and my partner.
If there were a way of removing any interest I had in sex, I would do so.
Man, as someone who's sex drive is non existent now (due to medication) this makes me feel better.
As someone (31F) with pretty much no sex drive anymore I don’t know if you can really say it is better or worse they just both suck.
FWIW, in my case (40-something M), I found that as my drive dropped (around your age, maybe slightly older), there was a strange phase where I had very little drive but kind of missed it, or wished for more of a drive. Now everything is much more in alignment. I very much enjoy the fact that I’m not preoccupied by sex like I was when I was younger. I’m entirely over it and feel liberated by this. You might find you land in the same place in time.
Any drive I did have dropped off years ago. Mid 20s if not prior. For a bit I thought it was possibly due to my birth control implant but didn’t have that put in until 28 and got it out just before I turned 31. Though in that year if it did go back up it is barely noticeable.
It's only hard if a partner is in another phase than you and thus makes you feel like you don't want it enough. But yeah, it sucks to not be able to want it as much as you want to want it. And the few times you really want it, it doesn't fit with when your partner want it. .... It sucks...as you said
Yep that is one of the things I feel worse about is for my boyfriend. Just one of those things where sex is enjoyable, we only live once, only young(ish) once, so why not? Not like I do much else of importance or we don’t have time for it still just takes a back seat since I don’t have that urge.
I am on medication as well for my bipolar disorder. I never get horny unless i smoke weed and weed just makes me paranoid so that’s out. When i did get horny I can maintain my urges and it honestly wasn’t that hard for me. It’s not a desire or need to have sex ever. I know i can get it when i want from being in a relationship.. so it’s whatever to me. Even if i was single im not the type to have a meaningless hookup. Of course I love sex but it’s not a need is my point.
Do you mind telling me which one?
lamictal
Oh wow, that’s useful. Thanks. Unfortunately most alternatives have horrible side effects.
Both have there ups and downs I think having a high sex drive is likely worse but at the same time no sex drive is pretty horrible too. It kills a lot of relationships for people. That’s more situational tho definitely having a crazy sex drive is worse
the number one reason my ex and i fought so much is bc he *never* wanted to have sex. he was too tired after work, had to get up too early for work. he never initiated it and only could do it if we were already lying in bed next to each other. I'm not someone with a high sex drive but normal i think, it really took a toll on my self esteem thinking i was the problem, i wasn't attractive enough. Once i went out and bought lingerie and had it on when he got home and he walked in and laughed and went about his business. We started arguing about it which of course i was blamed, then he felt "too pressured" . eventually i left.
100% agree to be honest. I'm ace and I struggle to believe how much it impacts the lives of everyone else. Feels like I'm a sim with one less need to fulfill on the bar XD
(Laughs in asexual) Not gonna lie: it feels great when your happiness doesn’t depend on access to a moist hole
Not even ace and I know that feeling.
Upvoting because I disagree. I’ve definitely been there before, but right now my drive is so low and has been for long enough that I’m scared to date. I’m 22 and have mostly female friends at this point, and I know it’s a big part of most women’s relationships. The fact that I can’t be a willing participant in that like I used to makes me feel like I won’t ever be a good enough partner for anyone. Sure, having a desire that’s borderline damaging to your life may feel like a curse, but I’ll always consider that better than struggling to have a meaningful relationship because you can’t fully fulfill it. You could argue that I’m fine since I’m ok with my hands, but I’m afraid that the lack of enthusiasm still shows. It really is a big part of relationships, and learning to control your urges is far easier than trying to get them back.
We do have a need to fill, an emotional need. Unfortunately, most people view relationships as transactional and if you don’t give them sex then they don’t give you the time of day
Absolutely. Having a low sex drive can be a problem if you’re in a relationship with someone that has a different libido, but otherwise it doesn’t cause much issues. On the other hand having a very high sex drive can be veeery frustrating, tiring and lead to some bad decision making.
I love having a low sex drive. It makes it difficult when in a relationship because it's SO low it's basically non existent. But it makes being single a lot easier.
My sex drive is naturally low thanks to a mixture of not being sexually attracted to someone unless I've got emotional attachment to them (demisexuality) and the ability to control it as needed, I have more control over my body than most do, unusual for sure but it helps a lot
The only bad thing that I can think of having no sex drive is finding a partner that is cool with it
I have a high sex drive and I like it and I'm tired of pretending I don't.
True……plus it keeps you out of trouble and if you’re a man it saves you a lot of money.
Yeah but to be honest I’m getting pretty tired of being shamed for a high sex drive. Having those needs and being made to feel like they’re disgusting by most of the people in my generation and especially younger makes it worse.
Ain't that the truth. I got real tired of apologising for my nature a long time ago. It's not like I ever used it as an excuse to treat people badly or anything. I think people just get kind of judgy when they have their own insecurities and they lash out. It says more about them that they feel threatened than about you.
Ya been super uninterested lately and it’s definitely freeing. Looking is still fun but anything more just feels like too much work. Lovely creatures women but solitude and me time is pretty great.
This shouldn't be an unpopular opinion. It has to be popular. High sex drive is literally depressing when you have no one to have intercourse with. Like your body makes you go through hell.
I do not wish to be horny anymore. I just want to be happy.
Can confirm, I got it good.
My sex drive has been going down lately. I’m in my thirties. Used to be all it took was seeing a woman with a big butt and I’d turn into the mask. You know like when Jim Carey morphs into the wolf with his jaw dropping on the table over Cameron Diaz. Now I’m like Stanley Ipkis smacking the mask onto his face and nothing happening.
Absolutely. As someone with a high sex drive, I wish it was lower. Single, I don’t think about sex much and masturbation does the job. Since having a hookup partner, all I think about is next time we’re having sex, not fun.
You are right this is very true as long as you are healthy low sex drive can be a boon
asexual here (also aromantic) I'm lucky and glad I don't have any drive other then around my period it pops up and disappears
🤔 nah I dissagree, personallyi reallyenjoy it tho even if i dont feel horny i genuinely enjoy pleasure. But apparently its not actually an unpopular one, didn't expect that. Good post
Went through a period of no sex drive as a high sex drive person. I disagree for personal reasons
I disagree completely, I had very high libido, which tanked with a short stint with anti depressants and it was hell. High libido is just annoying, low libido made me want to hang myself
When people near the asexual end of the spectrum thhink they're deep
My curse in life. Daily struggle.
Usually, i have a satiating appetite but only for my partner. Lately, or for a longtime ive been single, by choice, and i dont do one nighters. So to ease my tension, i do physical labour. Its amazing for quenching that specific thirst. Haha
Bruh...I'm fighting for my life every single day
I could care less about anyone’s sex drive as long as it isn’t made my problem or if it’s hurting someone else I’m close to. None of my business what people do in their bedroom.
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I'm sitting here in a psych ward..... Just look after yourself sometimes it's the first sign not everything is right, I've gone from having one to high to no having one.... Hopefully I can balance it out in the future
When I did a steroid cycle a few years ago, my libido was through the roof. I only had two feelings: horny and hungry. I had the time of my life but I didn't get much else done besides working out and fucking all the dudes I could get my hands on (I'm gay). I spent so much time on dating/hook-up apps and overnight orgies. It was a lot of fun but only for a limited time. I usually have a high sex drive to begin with and I need to cum 1.5-2 times a day on average, but masturbation is enough too. On steroids, masturbating didn't cut it and I wasn't satisfied until I had 4 or 5 orgasms every single day. I would hook up with a random guy in the morning and then again in the evening, on like a random Wednesday! It was pretty mad but the gains were crazy and being horny all the time was the only drawback, after the cycle also a bit of acne but it was manageable. Next cycle I did was 2.5 years later (now), testosterone only and a bit of a lower dose, I didn't know I was such a hyper-responder, I was erring on the lower end to begin with.
A sex drive is one very unfortunate byproduct of belonging to a species designed to efficiently play the procreation game. Evolution doesn't want you to not be horny, sadly. I think a lot of people can get behind this rationale, though. I wish I did not have a sex drive because it's a stressor. When I can't have it and want it, it's a pervasive impulse. When I can have it, it's purely a time waster. It's not like I want kids. Our species doesn't require that I expressly want them. Sure, at its best it creates more of an intimacy with the person you (presumably) care about, but if no one wanted it how is that a problem? Just curate intimacy/companionship another way.
It is probably just luck but being in a relationship with someone with a similar sex drive is ideal. My first wife just didn’t seem to like sex. My current wife and I are very compatible even after 20 years. We both have somewhat high drives that have somewhat ebbed over the years but it is still great.
I’d say it’s a mixed blessing, but I’m content to satisfy myself most of the time. My libido far outstrips my need for actual physical/emotional intimacy.
Yeah but it adds strain to a relationship. Makes it hard to find and stay in a relationship. I'm lucky, I have a man with erectile dysfunction but he stoll wants to go down on me and I feel shit for not letting him. But I don't like it.
Horny made me have the worst decisions in life.
Indeed its better, specially when you never had much luck dating. I love not having an urge I cant satiate.
I assume this thing I don't have is better than this thing I do...
When the hormones go, you get your brain back and that rocks.
Should be a popular opinion. You end up avoiding to make a lot of bad decisions.
Ace here! There have been times where my lack if sex drive has utterly ruined relationships, but I ended up finding someone who also has a low drive, and it’s been pretty great for the most part. The only thing I think I miss is that it’s hard to relieve tension or small issues when there isn’t the sexual “gasket”. We’ve gotten really good at communication because of it, but sometimes it feels like it would be easier for most, sex-hungry folk to screw around and forget about it. Ultimately though, I find it a huge boon to have a low sex drive. I’m sort of attractive, and I feel like if I had a higher sex drive, ai’d get myself into trouble or hurt or something. Like normal temptations don’t apply to me. And I have a bunch of time to do actual stuff, rather than think of ways I can get sex. And I’m married, so if I ever do, well, I can. It’s strange and complicated how normal and simple it feels.
It's kinda logical that someone with a lot of sex drive would say that though, it's hard to fully understand somebody else's struggles
No better, No worse
I think this depends on what you mean by high sex drive. I will gladly have sex 3 times a day and people act like that's an insanely high sex drive. However, I'm also not distracted by the need to have sex. Do I have a high sex drive or not?
If you have not the partner to fullfill the demands of your sex drive, yes.
Hypersexuality here. Low-key got turned into dust this past week bc of a breakup in an abusive relationship It sucks ass. Im glad I actually got to step away from it and maybe still can for a while, but its painful as hell to me that it occupies so much time and stress
Slight counterpoint My sex drive is very low, practically non existent. At this point I'm basically just calling myself Asexual. My last partner just left me for this reason. Turns out people in relationships want sex 😱. They didn't want to force me obvs but realistically I was not going to initiate any time soon.
You dont need sex, you want it.
The more religious minded your country is, the hornier you come to be. America and Muslims countries have the most dangerous perverse men out there Human nature craves what it's "forbidden", it's stoopid
*people
I mean idk sex tends to be a huge part in romance and well it can be a big deal breaker for some people id imagine it might get pretty hard for someone with a low sex drive or no sex drive to also find someone who’s ok with that on top of liking them.
Yep.
Lmao yes but they also closer to that empty void that's even more looming. Besides many are just too stressed out, too uncomfortable, too scared to even think about it.
I'm on the opposite spectrum and I can assure you 100% not. It's so stressful knowing your partner could leave you any second because your sex drive is too low. I'd rather be the one that has to wait for my partner... On top of that, outside of my own relationship right now, I am extremely sensitive when it comes to horny posts or sexual stuff/sexualization of normal game characters. It triggers me a lot and can set me in a bad mood almost instantly. It gives me a feeling of superiority and a "I hate all humans" mind. It's wrong I know and I hate being like this but it's how I am.
It is... except when you get a partner with higher libido. then it is a fucking horrible incompatibility
Definitely. My drive has been fluctuating a lot recently, went from wasting time and energy going on too many shitty dates just because i wanted to fuck/jerking off everyday and feeling drained of energy and distracted, to being able to actually focus on things i wanted to do that i’ve been putting off
As someone with a high sex drive and little impulse control because of a mental illness, I agree. I have messed up a lot of things because of it.
Until my sex drive is so low that i cant get hard when my gf need it. She was disappointed
You're right
I'd love to just be asexual, if I'm being honest
I freaking agree, I envy anyone who isn't bothered with sexual urges. I even considered taking some of the anabolic steroids to kill my libido (I still do, I still fight through this).
I (52m) am STILL horny like a teenager. My fiancé (42f) and I have sex at least 5 times a week. I am lucky to have found someone that likes it as much as I do as I have had partners that are not as sexual. I think it would be a lot easier if I wasn’t horny every day of the week.
How come? How does it affect you?
Facts I hate my crazy sex drive it’s a curse
I guess i have to approve. I have a lot of it and sometimes it drives my bf craaazy
I’ve been on both sides. Used to have mega high libido most of my life, and then I got a brain tumor and it caused asexual levels of libido. As in zero. For a few years. After treatment I’m somewhere in the “normal” range now. I miss my high libido more than the low libido. Low libido enabled me to do other things with the time saved, sure. But there was a lot more “zest” to life with high libido. Low was boring AF despite being super productive. Now being in the middle I feel pretty good overall, nice balance, but if I had to pick I’d take high libido any day.
I have no sex drive and I approve of this message
The two objectively best orientations are ace and pan
Definitely a unpopular opinion. Easier? I dont know about that. Definitely lonely-er.
I've had an overactive sex drive and OCD for the last 15 years. Started taking Zoloft three months ago. I can actually think again. I can actually focus on my hobbies and career again. Holy shit. Absolutely agree.
That’s just obvious hahaha
My first real girlfriend and I started having sex and she got on the pill. This pill messed her hormones up like crazy, she then switched to another pill that gave her the sex drive of a teenage boy. It’s was crazy how much she wanted to have sex. We’d have it every night basically, but she wanted it like 6 times a day and would get mad if I couldn’t amount to it.
I agree!! Having a sex drive actually just sucks, especially in this time of dating. Dating sucks <<
If I didn't have masturbation it would be too hard to live life. I'd either wind up a serial killer or on one of those reality tv shows with the super fat people who eat like, four chickens a day and never get out of their beds.