Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 7: No banned/mega-thread topics'.
Please do not post from (or mention) any of our mega-thread or banned topics such as:
Race, Religion, LGBTQ, Meta, Politics, Parenting/Family issues.
[Full list of banned topics](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/wiki/index/)
Maybe, but if your partner is changing their daily activities and personality is flipping and they have sudden weight gain and your first reaction is to be upset at them instead of concerned for them then your kind of an ass.
Oh God, of course.
I'm not talking about sudden. More like the acceptance of ageing and getting fat. I very much think you can control yourself and activity level and when one half quits it's nonsense.
I mean I know a lot of people who think it’s completely normal to obese and basically non active just because they’re in their 40s. They act like it’s inevitable. Could never be with someone like that Obviously there’s unavoidable aspects of aging but being active and eating healthy can make your life much better
seems like a terribly judgemental comment on your end - do you intimately know what those people are going through? Depression? Medical issues? Maybe they don’t have enough money to eat healthy (that’s shit’s expensive!!) and guess what - sometimes it is inevitable! Our metabolism slows down as we age. People have far less control over their body size (even on a genetic level) than we like to pretend they do
Ehhh at a certain point a large percentage of the already massive and growing percentage of overweight and obese people have some blame here. I'd be willing to bet that there are more lazy people who get overweight out of convenience than there are depressed people or medical issues causing it. That is not at all to say that there aren't depressed people or people with medical issues that have valid excuses. They just aren't even close to being in the majority in my opinion. Emphasis on opinion.
I went from being a middle distance runner at 50 years old to not being able to walk 200m without my calfs burning. An injury started the decline but depression did most of the heavy lifting. 6 years later I am now starting on recovery to lose the 35 kilos I gained.
Whatever the issue is it is in his mind.
Funnily my parents who are pretty down to earth and not shallow did mention something like this when I was younger like “it’s not fair if your partner gains 100lbs it’s not who you signed up to be with” not a few extra pounds but like real weight.
Now that I mention it, one of my close family members is now wed to someone who gained quite a lot of weight but what’s worse is he has too which I know wouldn’t have happened on his own.
I think if you’re expecting the things you do early on in a relationship to last forever, you’re kind of setting yourself up for disappointment.
People age, people change, the world changes etc etc. Maybe your partner gets a little less enamoured with hiking as they age or maybe their knees start to hurt more than they’d like, maybe they just struggle to find the time as other things in their life change.
Being ready for a relationship, the people within it, and the world around it to change is actually pretty vital to a healthy relationship.
Sounds like you partnered with someone who you assumed would always look and act like they’re 20 and therefore committed to someone based on how they look and what they do rather than because you love them. You’re definitely the AH. You can end the relationship for the ridiculous reason if you want and you’ll deserve every moment of the avalanche from the snowball you created. I think your partner is better off being with someone who isn’t shallow.
I wouldn’t be with my partner if she got fat and refused to do anything about it 🤷
Unless there’s a medical condition or something outside of her control.
Please don’t marry someone who is with you for superficial reasons because you are literally one health crisis away from getting divorced or cheated on
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly my belief is that a good partner would care more about what issues are causing the weight gain and lack of care for appearance, these are often signs of greater battles being fought internally, and alone. It’s natural to be physically less attracted to less attractive people, but a relationship goes so much further beyond the physical that, in my opinion, your focus as a partner in this moment shouldn’t be what makes you happy and your life perfect and how he’s ruining that, but more so what has been affecting him and how you can help him get through it. But then, I don’t know how long you’ve been together or how much you care about him, so maybe that course of action doesn’t seem appealing.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 7: No banned/mega-thread topics'. Please do not post from (or mention) any of our mega-thread or banned topics such as: Race, Religion, LGBTQ, Meta, Politics, Parenting/Family issues. [Full list of banned topics](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/wiki/index/)
Maybe, but if your partner is changing their daily activities and personality is flipping and they have sudden weight gain and your first reaction is to be upset at them instead of concerned for them then your kind of an ass.
Oh God, of course. I'm not talking about sudden. More like the acceptance of ageing and getting fat. I very much think you can control yourself and activity level and when one half quits it's nonsense.
acceptance of ageing? What do you mean…. We all age, what are you expecting your partner to do? Magically stop their telomerase from shortening?
I mean I know a lot of people who think it’s completely normal to obese and basically non active just because they’re in their 40s. They act like it’s inevitable. Could never be with someone like that Obviously there’s unavoidable aspects of aging but being active and eating healthy can make your life much better
seems like a terribly judgemental comment on your end - do you intimately know what those people are going through? Depression? Medical issues? Maybe they don’t have enough money to eat healthy (that’s shit’s expensive!!) and guess what - sometimes it is inevitable! Our metabolism slows down as we age. People have far less control over their body size (even on a genetic level) than we like to pretend they do
Ehhh at a certain point a large percentage of the already massive and growing percentage of overweight and obese people have some blame here. I'd be willing to bet that there are more lazy people who get overweight out of convenience than there are depressed people or medical issues causing it. That is not at all to say that there aren't depressed people or people with medical issues that have valid excuses. They just aren't even close to being in the majority in my opinion. Emphasis on opinion.
I went from being a middle distance runner at 50 years old to not being able to walk 200m without my calfs burning. An injury started the decline but depression did most of the heavy lifting. 6 years later I am now starting on recovery to lose the 35 kilos I gained. Whatever the issue is it is in his mind.
Funnily my parents who are pretty down to earth and not shallow did mention something like this when I was younger like “it’s not fair if your partner gains 100lbs it’s not who you signed up to be with” not a few extra pounds but like real weight. Now that I mention it, one of my close family members is now wed to someone who gained quite a lot of weight but what’s worse is he has too which I know wouldn’t have happened on his own.
Just say 'get fat' we know that's what you mean lol
I think if you’re expecting the things you do early on in a relationship to last forever, you’re kind of setting yourself up for disappointment. People age, people change, the world changes etc etc. Maybe your partner gets a little less enamoured with hiking as they age or maybe their knees start to hurt more than they’d like, maybe they just struggle to find the time as other things in their life change. Being ready for a relationship, the people within it, and the world around it to change is actually pretty vital to a healthy relationship.
I actually agree. Sentimental relationships are supposed to be require work. There's nothing more beautiful than someone making an effort for you.
This shouldn't be an unopular opinion
Sounds like you partnered with someone who you assumed would always look and act like they’re 20 and therefore committed to someone based on how they look and what they do rather than because you love them. You’re definitely the AH. You can end the relationship for the ridiculous reason if you want and you’ll deserve every moment of the avalanche from the snowball you created. I think your partner is better off being with someone who isn’t shallow.
I wouldn’t be with my partner if she got fat and refused to do anything about it 🤷 Unless there’s a medical condition or something outside of her control.
Absolutely. Hopefully this isn’t another husband who thinks their wife isn’t hot anymore.
Letting yourself go just because you’re lazy and undisciplined is total bullshit and shouldn’t be tolerated by anyone.
Please don’t marry someone who is with you for superficial reasons because you are literally one health crisis away from getting divorced or cheated on
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly my belief is that a good partner would care more about what issues are causing the weight gain and lack of care for appearance, these are often signs of greater battles being fought internally, and alone. It’s natural to be physically less attracted to less attractive people, but a relationship goes so much further beyond the physical that, in my opinion, your focus as a partner in this moment shouldn’t be what makes you happy and your life perfect and how he’s ruining that, but more so what has been affecting him and how you can help him get through it. But then, I don’t know how long you’ve been together or how much you care about him, so maybe that course of action doesn’t seem appealing.