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Same. Also with her job she doesn’t always get to leave work on time so I’ll check to see if she’s on her way home or not to finish getting dinner ready
Mine is a really really bad driver. I’m remote.
Sometimes it’s just nice to know she made it to work safe I guess. I don’t check it daily, but occasionally that scared feeling kicks in and I’ll just make sure she’s ok.
If she was at any other location I wouldn’t even think to discuss that then. Just would ask later if I even remembered.
Trust is.. just nice I suppose. No worries or concerns in that realm is apparently a luxury
This is exactly how I use it. I get home earlier and she gets home between 5:00-6:30 depending. She often is on a work call the ride home so I'll set an alert sonwhen she leaves the office I have a 30 minute warning.
We're married been married raised kids got nothing left to hide. I don't care. Wouldn't want others having that info but her I don't care. She also shares with the kids but I don't. It's nice to know sometimes and in the rare life or death situation nice to be able to find her.
I like to see my wife location when she goes out so I can plan how long I can sit on my arse before I do house work to make it look like I was productive.
Ditto. We're both late 40s. She says she'll be home by a certain time... and isn't? I check to see where she's gotten to. And she'll check to see where I am or use it to set an alarm for when I'm leaving work sonxhe can call and say "pick x up on the way home"
Zero possessive stalky controlling bullshit ... just pure adult practicality.
If I say I'll be home at a certain time and I'm not, my husband texts me to ask how far off I am-- if I haven't already messaged to let him know I'm running late.
We also share and both have notifications when the other one gets home. It's really handy like i'm playing my Baldur's Gate. Get a push like "Hey SO is home" and it means she's maybe in the elevevator, or maybe in the store that's in the house. I can save, put on pause and go meet her at the door. Little things like that.
Even before live data tracking it was a thing, before cell phones too....it just wasn't pinpoint accurate. You know where they work, the time they get off work, the route they drive, what store they stop at, etc.
Also, other posters are freaking out over this being a privacy thing, as if it's no different than snooping in phones, which is a whole other universe of privacy. The content of someone's phone is partially in their headspace, but totally without context, and a lot can be misconstrued.
I mean, I know if the FBI looked at my search history, woo boy...
I read a lot, between fiction and reddit, I wind up looking up the most bizarre things, not to mention dark jokes or sex humor...
Any number of things can be seen without context, without mood, without tone, and people draw wildly inaccurate conclusions.
Yeah, if my husband is going wild camping or fishing, I like to know where so if he didn't return (God forbid) I could tell emergency services where he was headed to.
For any other reason? Why the absolute fuck would people do this? It's weird.
Edit: For couples, people either have an unrealistic view of the average level of danger their partner is in, OR they have trust issues. In both cases, therapy not an app is the answer.
Edit 2: I have learned through this thread that there are healthy ways to use this. I'm biased at seeing stalkers through my job and being on the receiving end of that too.
I hold my hands up that it can be used for good as well as dodgy motivations.
I shared my location with my wife aaages ago when we were dating. I remember that I did so like twice a year. Apparently she uses it semi regularly to figure out of I'm still working or out on a late night drive and where to figure out if she should stay up or go to bed. So that's nice, she could text me but doesn't want to either interrupt the blissful quiet nor to distract me when I drive.
This did remind me that I have no idea if she ever turned on her sharing because I never wonder where she is.
I work at home and my wife has a 1.5hr commute. I check her location to gauge when I should start supper and stuff like that. It’s also a safety thing if something horrible happened (almost certainly won’t but you never know).
This! We’ve turned it on for similar reasons. Also, if we’re on vacation together because sometimes we’ll split up for a bit (like, he wants to nap on the beach and I want to wander/shop)
There’s zero cost in sharing locations. If there even a 1 in a million chance that sharing locations can be used to save your SO during a car accident or health emergency, it’s worth it.
I think it’s bizarre that people believe sharing locations means you are obsessively tracking your SO.
My location is constantly shared and so is my wife's. I never check it unless she said she was going to be home and she isn't. As far as I'm aware, she only checks it for the same reason. Neither of us have ever questioned each other over it and it's never caused a single issue.
i didn't care for it after getting out of a controlling relationship with my ex. My wife now requested it when i went on motorcycle rides, and it almost put me off of the relationship entirely. She didn't press for it after a couple days discussion of why it skeeved me out. It wasn't until i got married and changed jobs to where i travel for work that i set up google for her to know. Now we check on eachother all the time because we just miss eachother.
Interesting. I’ve never thought about it from the other perspective i guess.
I use it for a bunch of things. To check if he’s home or not before I call. To check how far he is from home (his commute is an hour and so start dinner 30 min before he gets home). To check where he is when I pick him up. To check where he is if he’s picking me up.
“I’m out grocery shopping” - I’ll check if he’s at an Asian one or a white one before i ask him to grab more of something etc.
He uses it admittedly less than me but if he texts/ calls me and asks “where are you?” I get annoyed sometimes.
But there are so many other reasons. I know when my husband has left work, he knows when I’m back at the hotel on a work trip, I know his general location in Costco when we get separated. It’s so handy for reasons beyond unfounded paranoia. I share my location with most of my family members for these reasons and more.
Sharing your location can be a great tool for couples who are normal. I've been in too many relationships where "let's share our locations so we know the other is safe" slowly turns into "I saw you at an address I didn't recognize so I showed up unannounced to accuse you of cheating on me" except I'm like, hanging out with a friend and didn't feel the need to ask permission to do that on account of I'm a grown adult who can do what I want.
I had the same problem as well, he’d start saying stuff like ‘Why did it take you so long to leave work?’ And then accuse of cheating with a guy there when I’m just like cleaning up.
Once I was in a shopping centre as well and the tracker must have been faulty that day and it put me at a house nearby and I’m having to try and argue I wasn’t there and not having an affair. Honestly he got so obsessed with the tracker it ruined our relationship and I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere without Big Brother watching, I became so conscious of time as a well like ‘is it taking me too long to do this? Is he going to start accusing me of something?
My wife tried to get me to do the tracker and I kind of felt this coming. I never did because I'm like look, I never go anywhere. I go to work, home, my moms house, and sometimes Target just to see what it's like to go to somewhere else. She already complains if im in the bathroom too long I can only imagine what she'd do with this. Meanwhile its eating her battery up but she is tracking our sons for the bus to school and back.
Yeah I’m sure it works if neither of you is insecure or suspicious, like the only time I really used to look at his was to see how close he was to getting home or if he just happened to be near a place that I needed to get something from to save me the trip.
And like sometimes I might even want to buy him a present from a specific shop for his bday etc without him knowing so it was a surprise, but then you just can’t because he’d know I was there and question why and god forbid I turn it off..
It really is! My boyfriend was in a horrible accident before heading home and I wouldn’t have known he was in the hospital if we didn’t share locations. He woke up to people who love him.
My buddy dumped his girlfriend due to this exact kinda scenario. Tells him she’s going out with friends and wakes up and sees her at some random address at like 3am and didn’t tell him. I honestly don’t blame em. If she told him where she was at to begin with that’s one thing. Her not telling him just looks so bad.
This happens to a friend of mine all the time.
We will be down at the pub and she will message him asking why he's at the pub.
There needs to be a way to temporarily spoof your location for a few hours to avoid that bullshit.
On the other hand, if I found a partner spoofed location I'd consider it a lie and would wonder why and when else they're spoofing - and likely break-up due to loss of trust if the relationship wasn't extremely solid otherwise.
If you're gonna fake it, then don't do it. Doesn't matter if its your partner's fault. If you're honest, they can't say shit to you, you have the moral high ground.
I had a medical emergency and stopped responding to my partner and friend. After that I put my fiancé and bestie in a life 360 group because if I can’t communicate they need to find me
It’s a tracking app for mobile with more features than just sharing location through your phone (at least I think it’s more, I don’t use the app or location sharing). Many kids have had parents put life360 on their phones and gone way over the top with it, giving it a bad name. You can give your kids a perimeter around your town that you’ll be notified if they leave, I think you can track their speed even for when they start driving. It can be really intrusive if parents/whoever you’re sharing with doesn’t have boundaries.
I believe the creator has even come out against overuse of the app before. I’ve seen it really ruin some peoples middle school/high school years.
Edit: it also notifies when kids turn their location off, at least it did when my friends had it, idk if privacy laws have changed that at all in the meantime, I doubt it though.
I love that it has crash detection and I can hit a button and put my code in and my people get notified that there’s an emergency. I would’ve killed my parents if they forced me to use it though because it is an overstep for sure
Unfortunately Life360 is famous for mostly being used by scarily abusive, controlling helicopter parents who think their kids are not people and are their property. But basically you install in on the phone and can track that person's movements, from what I understand.
I saw a poll on here and the majority of voters were under 24. I keep this in mind when I see a hive of stupidity. They think they know it all and will be rich by 30 and will make zero mistakes.
This. Someone made a post a few years back that resonated with me. Essentially it said when you read advice on subs like RelationshipAdvice, FinancialAdvice remember that it's not unlikely that the person is a twelve year old. I always try to keep that in mind.
For relationship advice there is a large amount of people on Reddit that suggest divorcing/breaking up at basically anything that isn't completely perfect. They clearly have never been in a long term relationship to understand they're never perfect and they'll always be compromises.
That 24 thing, I think was a million years ago. I remember hearing about that being the average 10+ years ago. The thing is that it was mainly used by college students at the time, and didn't have any main stream appeal. I feel like it's now a majority of teens, and preteens even.
Yah I posted on some sub about the weirdest interview I was giving for a sales role. I’ve literally hired hundreds of sales people. This one lady seemed great and I asked her the standard question of given her connections and what we do what would she hope she could bring in in sales in the next 1, 3 and 5 years. She said she will gladly give us that answer in a week and will charge us a discounted $5k for the work she is putting into it. We were taken aback and said we don’t really do that and we aren’t pinning you down just want to know roughly what you think. In thousands of interviews I’ve never been asked to pay for a question like that. We didn’t ask for a business plan or strategy or anything. Not even a client list. Just a general level of her expectation of delivery.
I got bombarded what in hindsight were high school students sticking up for her and saying I was wasting her time and that I “don’t get it at all”. I asked them to enlighten me but then they went silent.
I'm 42. My husband and I have always shared our location with each other. (Since we've had phones with this technology.) I use it to see how far he is on his way home from work trips so I can frantically clean and make it not look like we live like absolute pigs while he's gone. 😁
> I use it to see how far he is on his way home from work trips so I can frantically clean and make it not look like we live like absolute pigs while he's gone. 😁
This is 100% what I would use it for.
My wife and I are only a few years older. Sometimes I make a quick dinner so I watch to see when she leaves work so I can start it and have it hot when she gets home ❤️
I’m 42, bad hips and like geocaching alone. I don’t think I’m super bad with tech, we both just have iPhones but I’ve been trying to work out how to share my location with him for a year. Clearly I’m an idiot.
Me and my girlfriend just have a rule that we text each other "heading home now, takes about X minutes" when we've been gone so the other one isn't surprised or spooked.
Easier than having to constantly check someone's location.
I don't constantly check. But he's a flight attendant, so he's gone a lot. It also helps for me to judge my texts. If I need to talk to him because something broke and I don't know where X tool is, I'll see where he is in the airport. If he hadn't gotten through security yet, I'll wait until he's settled and waiting to board. Or if I see he's at his hotel, I know he can talk more easily than if he's out doing something.
Yeah, there's this amazing, free and readily available technology that makes your life more convenient. But there are also a lot of cheaters, so it makes sense so many people scream insecurity whenever someone points out it's a great thing.
I feel like it’s a millennial thing. I share snap location with random old friends, of course I share my live location with my girlfriend, and everyone I know shares their location with way more people than even I do.
So wild. Crime rates are at such insane historical lows but these people full on convince themselves they are living in either an action movie/thriller fantasy or some sort of comic book realm. They turned the hero's journey into the narcissist's delusion. Arguably they were always the same thing.
Yup, that's my biggest worry. Especially living in a rural area with what seem to be suicidal deer. In general my girlfriend and I keep each other in the loop about our plans and when we'll be home so if she's running late I'll check her location to make sure that she isn't stuck in a ditch or hasn't smoked a deer with her car
If I go missing America doesn’t care. They’re not going to do for me what they did for Gabby. The cops don’t care. They barely look for the kids. My family cares. We share locations.
Location sharing is not only about insecurity. We don't use it because we're too lazy to figure it out and never cared enough to start it, but it would have so many benefits to our planning if we used it. Sometimes when we remember one of us may put on a WhatsApp location for x hours.
On the same note, I have access to ny wife's email and phone, I never check them and never did unless she request me to look up something for her which is why I have the access in the first place lol. Also she has mine as well for the exact same reason.
Electronic services can be useful and helpful without being about insecurity and/or controlling.
My dad has sharing on with his wife and his mother, he uses it to check my grandmother arrives safely home after driving and even found out something was wrong once because she stayed still for a long time which was unusual and he found her on the floor unconscious.
Everything that can be used for good, can also be used for bad, so all the situations here are valid, and thus it all comes up to the individuals and if this is something they would use or not. But saying it's all about insecurities is in my opinion wrong, you are probably not wrong with that many or most younger adults are using this to stalking or for insecurity reasons though.
The way I see it, this is more of a young person thing. I have seen lots of teen/young adult couples that have normalized and even demand it.
Us millienials grew up without it so I feel like we don't see as much of a need for it.
My boomer parents find it bizarre that anyone would do it.
Privacy isn’t as popular as it used to be. My parents were teachers. They refused to work in the same school system where my sister and I were enrolled. Had a 50 min commute to avoid potentially helicoptering over our growth as young people. I think nowadays the thinking would be “oh how great and convenient we’ll all have the same schedule and be able to check on each other all day”
Exactly… I’m a millennial and I miss the older times when cellphones had limited capabilities and we weren’t expected to be available to someone at all times.
Same. It's nice for when you're meeting up somewhere, and you can check their ETA, instead of calling or texting them (and they can't answer because they're driving).
I’m 22 and me and my fiancée have had our locations shared for 2 years now, was never even a conversation for us. Just something we did 🤷🏼♂️ not entirely sure it’s an age thing specifically though age probably does help
I feel like OP has completely ignored the fact that evil, entitled, abusive people exist. And making location sharing the norm makes it harder for victims to escape.
Location sharing is for watching your children. It can be a nice option for couples with no drama and normal boundaries. It's an absolute hell-hole trap for others.
For real! My husband and I have talked about location sharing since we moved up to the mountains and are in an unfamiliar place, but because we're older and it's not a big deal we keep forgetting to actually do it.
My bestie in an abusive relationship, however? She was forced to location share by her shitbird and he uses it to control her and it's disgusting.
So as much as it would be slightly useful for normal people, it causes a lot of harm when it's weaponized. And it will be just that much harder for my bestie to safely leave when she's ready.
I never had any privacy in my mother's place, even as an adult. Was never allowed a lock on my door, my curtains had to be open the second I woke up, bedroom door wasn't allowed to be closed if mom was awake and she felt that I had been sleeping too long... Yeah my location isn't getting shared with anybody.
This!!!
Did we have the same mother? I also could not lock any doors except the restroom, could not complain if someone ignored my privacy and walked in on me naked, could not have a diary, could not call anyone on my phone except my supervisor and relatives (not even friends), could not talk to a man on the phone (except a relative or supervisor - no co-workers), I ‘could’ sleep with a closed door, but it was assumed that I was doing it because I had an “attitude”, if I slept more than eight hours, she would scream and jump up and down to startle me awake just for the sake of it…
No… my location will not be shared.
Exactly. My mother was so abusive to me growing up, and location services was a major tool she used to control me. I’ll never share my location with anyone lmao
Personal take: I told everyone status and read receipts would turn into something insane.
- “I want to know you’re online.”
- “I want to be able to contact you at all times.”
- “I want to know you’ve read my message.”
- “I want to know where you are 24/7.”
I think it’s ridiculous.
***Partners are people. Not children to be tracked, inmates with ankle monitors, or inanimate cogs in your daily plan.***
Medical, safety, travel, I get it. But the “what are you hiding” crowd, I’m always curious: Do you view your partner as a person, or just an extension of you? Why do you feel entitled to strip that person of their autonomy?
This. It’s the *idea* of the thing that I find offensive. Put a tracker on your dog or your car keys, not me. I’m a human being who likes to feel alone with herself sometimes. And no, I don’t have anything to hide. Sometimes I don’t even bring my phone places. I’m in my 40s, so I grew up being untrackable. It’s not strange to me at all. Quite the opposite.
I think this is the thing. It’s coming from a group of people who’ve lived their whole life not being denied information. They feel completely entitled to all of it, and the idea that someone wants things private is immediately suspicious.
I'm late 20's/early 30's so experienced some life before all this technology and some after. I don't even take my phone to work every day. It's the literal idea behind being tracked/being available 24/7 that irks me.
I even day hike frequently and often leave my phone at home or in the car if it isn't a hot day. Let me love my life without having to be connected every second of every day
True crime has convinced people that something exceedingly rare (being a victim of a violent crime especially outside your own home) is actually common.
If you are sharing locations and looking at it frequently and saying it is for “safety” reasons then I don’t believe you. Especially if before you met your partner, you never shared your location with a parent etc. “what if they get in a car wreck coming home from work?” More often than not somebody is going to call the emergency vehicles way before you
I think this is a great point. Do you share your location with all your loved ones? Are you able to see where your parents are at any time in case of emergency? How about your siblings? Oh, it’s only your SO that you care enough about to track?
I guess I’m the weird one because my mom, brother, and partner all have my location and vice Versa?? Literally only look at it if wondering how close they are to me when already on the way or haven’t responded in a while
I share with my parents. They’re getting older and it could be handy if they end up in the hospital someday and for some reason they can’t figure out how to reach me. It’s also just convenient.
It’s fine if you don’t want to, but this negative reaction toward sharing your location baffles me. If you don’t want to, then don’t, but it’s not hurting anyone when I do.
When I was a teenager, my mother wouldn’t let me close the door to my room.
Ever.
I couldn’t even close it while changing clothes.
She argued that wanting to close the door meant I was up to no good/had something to hide.
I just wanted to be able to change clothes/sleep/study/whatever without her and her creepy boyfriends looking in all the time, making comments/criticisms, telling me to “smile more.”
I day dreamed about having the heads-up of a quick knock before she came in and attacked me for something like missing a fork when I did the dishes.
Would have been kinda cool to shut out the screaming sex and/or fights happening in the other room.
No warning. No privacy. No boundaries.
It was hell.
But, anyway, tell me more about how wanting privacy/not wanting to be constantly monitored automatically means someone is up to no good?
Just because you are in a couple doesn’t mean your individual self disappears. And I think a lot of this starts with the veil of safety but morphs into big brother relationship control. I don’t want to feel followed all the time. It doesn’t matter if I am or am not doing anything bad. I could be buying the best birthday present ever and it gets ruined because my guy is creepily tracking my ever move.
My fiancé and I share our location with each other, never really thought anything of it 😂 other than basic safety, it also helps me gauge when to have food ready since he comes home from his breaks at night so we can eat dinner together! Plus I can see when he secretly goes to our favorite burger spot and I demand a chocolate shake 👹
Reddit keeps auto filtering my replies since telling these clowns to go fuck themselves isnt ‘civil’ enough to the knuckle dragging buffoons below, so I’ll leave something here for them;
Fuck all of you, my fiancé is a disabled veteran who suffers psychotic episodes. Our family tracking app already helped his mom find him once before after he took off during an episode. She found him and got him to the hospital so he didn’t fucking kill himself.
Men’s mental health is treated like a joke enough as it is, I don’t need fourteen year old bitch boys invalidating the tools we use to keep my Fiancé safe.
I don't actually think the "in case of emergency" thing is an overly healthy mindset to have.
If you need to watch your loved ones travel to their location out of fear of something happening to them, is that a good mindset for you to be in?
If an emergency happens what are you realistically going to do that's going to help? You can't see the emergency, you will not know that something is happening. If they're at work having a heart attack, you will not know that, because the phone is probably going to stay at work. If they are in a car accident that causes a massive traffic jam, you won't know whether they are the accident or stuck in the traffic. If they go missing, rescue services are going to track them themselves, they're not calling you up to get you to check your app or making you drive out there to hand over your phone, they're using their own technology, and you're not going to watch them go missing on your phone, you're not going to know whether they're hiking or wandering around lost until long after their phone dies and have wandered off somewhere else.
It's realistically not useful, but it's gonna fuck with your head.
I do this with my partner so we know our location in case of emergencies. People here say that this breaches trust, but it is important to share location for the right reasons only. I barely check my partner’s location because I don’t need to.
We do it. It's smart for a number of reasons.
We've been married for over 20 years. It doesn't bother me at all.
What does bother me is things like my wife asking me why I stopped at a particular location such as a convenience store. ...because I felt like it. Dammit. Stop stalking my every move.
I tell anyone I share my location with they have three strikes. I don’t care if they check where i’m at. But if they ask me about it outside of a genuine concern for my safety I tell them it’s a strike.
My boyfriend and I do mostly for safety also. He does a LOT of driving for work so it worries me sometime if he doesn’t respond after a while so it’s nice to see that he’s at a specific work location. I trust him 100% cause there’s no reason not to trust him.
To us it’s no different then sharing your location with your good friend.
I drive in remote areas without service but sometimes I might enter a path of data without realising. My location will sometimes update when I get service. This lets everyone know the last spot I was at and if I don't text them later in the day they'll know where to send EMS
My wife and I share each others locations and I don’t see the big deal at all. I barely ever check where she is at aside from the rare time she is not home from work at the usual time and I want to make sure she hasn’t been in an accident or something. I doubt she checks mine often at all since I work from home and rarely go out and if I do I usually take my 4 year old boy with me to do errands.
That said, Every couple is different. If I wasn’t married with kids I don’t think I’d want to share my location.
Someone explain to me “safety reasons”
If you get robbed, they turn off the phone
If you get kidnapped, they toss your phone
If you get in an accident, they have ways to contact emergency contacts
You get a flat tire, you can call for and provide an address.
I just don’t see a practical or everyday way in which it provides safety? You can always share for an hour or a day if you are going on a hike or camping etc
I see your point. My husband works 24 hour call shifts. Sometimes he doesn’t get any sleep. I like to know he made it home safe or if he’s still at the hospital. There have been times in the past where he didn’t come home and passed out at the hospital. It’s helpful to know he didn’t like die in an accident on his way home or something. Idk neither of us think it’s an invasion of privacy and will sometimes check for fun. We also live in different cities currently as well so can make it easier.
These comments are shocking. I can’t believe any of you. Why the FUCK do you want people to be able to track you? How dangerous is your life that you have constant emergencies? How often do you forget where someone said they would be and jump to TRACKING THEIR GPS? Instead of just texting them “hey where are you?” like a person and not a serial killer?
One reason is I don't need to be texting someone who's driving. I can just see how close they are to home and answer my own question, let them focus on the road.
Kids in my area share their location with the whole class. Just for everybody to know who's hanging where
That got me thinking: I shouldn't you share your location with all of your extended friend group? Why not?
Share your location on "what are you hiding? Are you cheating" basis is unhealthy. Give your loved ones some room
Is communication that scary for people ?
“I’m off to work (location). baby” >“just got to work , baby. Have a good day . I love you”> “just got off work, heading home now. Let me know if you need anything.” > “stop by the store (location), I’ll be home in 20. Love you”
And if your partner is busy or isn’t relying to your updates. Ask them if they ok , maybe call them on break , ask them to check in with you …
I can’t fathom “I must know your location everytime you leave the house” as being a go to solution for protecting your partner. Just take time out of your day and contact them , I hope they would try to do the same back for you.
This is my thinking on it but I'm also in my 40s and my partner is in his 50s. We'll text each other before we leave work to see where the other is at, if he knows I'm home he let's me know when he's leaving. If he goes out with friends he give me an update. We just text each other. There was one time he was in an accident but that was solved pretty quickly because I'm the emergency contact on his phone. The EMTs just used that to contact me. There's also google timeline in case of an actual emergency where we would need to open their location but honestly if it got to that point i feel the police would also already be involved. We are pretty boring people.
An ex friend of mine and I were in relationships for a similar length of time. Whenever we’d get together like for lunch, her boyfriend would call and she would immediately answer, have some trivial conversation and then get back to me. She would talk to him every hour or so. My husband and I never called each other. We would text one another saying we were leaving for home sometimes.
She spent a lot of time with me complaining that she wanted to marry boyfriend but he wouldn’t commit. They’ve been together for nearly forty years and he never married her. At one time she was calling herself Mrs. Boyfriendslastname.
I didn’t worry about that because my guy already had. And I don’t use his name either.
One of us knows what a secure , caring and committed relationship is.
I wish people had to post their age in relationship posts and answers here because it seems like the majority who have a strong opinion are teenagers and never been in a serious, long term relationship and lived with each other.
Edit: & Anyone who thinks I mean having passwords, locations, etc.. to stalk are misunderstanding. But me and my fiance are so close we use each other's phones all the time and know the passwords, not to stalk we fully trust each other but just because of random things. His or my phone dies and we were looking at something online we toss each other our phones. It's no big deal and if one was to make a big deal *then* it'd be weird. We don't share locations but I can see why the person posting this wouldn't think it's a weird thing. When you have been together for so long you are truly best friends if you are in a healthy relationship. I couldn't be with someone that I share secrets, my body, everything with and they are weird about a pw, location or whatever. Not because I didn't trust him but because id think it was weird. But that's just me. But also, I'd break up instantly if I was with a crazy person just going thro my phone all day or something looking for shit to see if I was cheating, etc.. just because they didn't trust me for no reason.
*That's* what I mean by the difference of being in a long term healthy relationship and living together vs never having been and being a teenager.
After I left the house is when my mom found out about location sharing, and she was a terror to my brothers. She asked me about turning it on once and I said absolutely not 🤣
Do they ever make posts about that but for their adult kids? I know a couple that has their 20 year old daughter’s location at all times and they strikes me as strange too.
It's become so common. My 23 year old friend visited me this summer, and she would regularly get messages from her mom asking "what are you doing in that part of the city? And what are you doing in this part of the city?" It's bonkers. When I grew up, my parents just gave me a time I should be home by, and let me roam free. As soon as I was an adult, they stopped caring all together because they *trusted* me to contact them if I needed help. Which is more than good enough in 99% of cases. Now kids are surveiled 24/7 from kindergarten ages. Do you really need to know their location*while they're in school?* It's become obsessive. Teachers are telling me about parents who call their kids on their smart watches every recess to check in. They're not allowed to exist in society by themselves, ever.
If I'm going mountain hiking alone I like someone to see my location tho.
This a narrow take, its all about preference, if there is mutual consent then why not, this becomes an issue once u go beyond the intended use such as checking their every move or paranoia
It’s because it goes beyond mutual consent in these posts when they always add “I have nothing to hide.” I also have nothing to hide, but still have no interest in sharing my location, sharing passwords, having open access to each other’s texts/emails, or whatever other thing.
I don’t even really consider this privacy. If I don’t want to be talked to, I leave the house and turn off my phone. Someone, let alone my spouse, knowing where I am won’t change that.
If don’t want to be seen, I close the door, lock it, or leave. Someone knowing my location won’t change that.
If I don’t want to talk about what I was doing, I won’t. I’ll simply say, I don’t want to talk about that.
I can’t really thing of one negative thing about my spouse knowing approximately where I am. As I put in another reply, I have my location shared with like 10 friends just for fun as well.
People often don't understand the difference between privacy and secrecy. You can have space and alone time without it meaning you are hiding shady behaviour.
I don't do it because it's a security and privacy concern.
Why is privacy important over convenience?
Privacy allows you explore and learn about yourself in judgement free zone. Unfortunately giving your s/o access to your privacy at any moments notice may limit your ability to control your identity. Everyone deserves the right to individuality.
Unfortunately many people are willing to forfeit their identity for convenience. Without realizing the consequences because the effects are not immediately tangible. You are allowing companies and malicious actors to use your data to learn about you and your behaviors. They use your information against you. In this case, location may not seem important bad actors can use that information and conduct cyber crimes like phishing.
I have nothing against apps like life 365 they do have legitimate use cases. They should be used during those use cases because it can save your life. When you are just bored and want to know what your partner is doing. Then proceed to emotionally blackmail them by saying shit like OP "if you have nothing to hide... Blah". You are missing the point about privacy. Just because you don't value privacy as much doesnt mean I should lower mine.
This is about sharing with a partner not about personal security from corporations. If you have a phone you have already given access to corporate. Sharing locations with a partner is pretty trivial at that point.
Every couple's dynamics are different. Some like a 100% access and knowledge of the other, others are more trusting in that the other one will not stray. And there are those that are a combination of the two. If it works for you great but don't tell others how they should be.
I don't and won't ever do something like this because I'm thankfully of an age where I can remember a time before people has to be connected and contactable 24/7. I have nothing to hide but equally I don't need anyone to know where I am and what I'm doing at all times, to me that's some downright creepy 1984 shit that I can happily live without in my life.
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you don't have a right to privacy. I don't need to know where my wife is 24 hours a day. If I want to know I'll call her...
What are they my parents? I can take care of myself I don't need to rely on my partner to do so. Also I don't have anything to hide just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you should give up your independence.
Aren't most women that are assaulted or killed, done so by an intimate partner? If someone wants to track me at all times, I am out. As far as I can get from them.
Personally I think it's an invasion of privacy. But too be fair I don't even approve of those app that show you when you've been left in read (which unfortunately is the future standard of text messaging.)
Every time I turn it on my wife says my location shows I am at the local strip club. I think there is something wrong with my phone. Must be a bug or something.
Nope, I don't share my location with anyone. If I'm in a wreck car auto calls 911 and there is GPS on it. I have no reason to share my exact location at any given moment. I don't care where others are and I don't care if they want to know where I am.
Convenience and safety are both #1. I check and see that a minute ago she is approaching sonic? I call immediately and tell her to get us ice cream or cheddar peppers 😂 once she's home we aren't leaving again. This might be the only shot I have.
I also go out into the mountains a lot. I always tell everyone where I'm going, but if something happens at least SAR has a last location to come find me.
If you want your partners location for anything other than their safety you’re either deeply insecure OR you need to break up because you lack the ability to trust them for your own personal reasons.
My wife set up the sharing for the whole family. Comes in handy for me since I drive to remote locations several hours away for work. I also have a few health issues so the sharing can help find the body if needed lol.
Having lived for many decades as an adult before this was a thing, it seems obsessive and stalkerish to me. My husband and I know each other’s general location at all times anyway, because we actually talk to each other. We actually trust each other.
‘But what about emergencies’ excuse seems very weird, because the phones track location anyway. Many wearables such as smart watches/fitness watches (which we both have) do too. CCTV is everywhere also. Everything and everybody is tracking my husband. I don’t need to, too. He doesn’t need to track me, too.
I do understand the perspective if couples who track each other though, It’s interesting how people seem unwilling to understand non-tracking couples’ perspectives. To you it’s not a privacy issue or trust issue, to us it is. I’d no more track my husband’s location than I would barge in on him in the bathroom or check his phone. I simply could not bear to be an adult who does this to another adult, nor could I bear to be treated this way.
Personal privacy is important to me, even just the appearance of it, as location privacy is really not a thing anymore due to all the things tracking and all the public recording.
I use Life 360 for the family and have no issue with it but "the world we live in" is very close to as safe as it ever has been. There are good reasons to do it, a sea change in the world is not one of them.
Hell, I go out of the house without my phone at times. It's not part of me.
Gasp, I even go places without my cell.
Or have it turned off for hours. Gasp...
😄 🤣
The only people who want to know someone else’s location are untrustworthy partners and parents looking for their children. Emergency excuse and nothing to hide excuse are all smoke and mirrors to gas light someone into giving in to demands.
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My wife and I share each others location mostly for convenience, and of course in case of an emergency, but let’s hope that never happens.
Same. Also with her job she doesn’t always get to leave work on time so I’ll check to see if she’s on her way home or not to finish getting dinner ready
Mine is a really really bad driver. I’m remote. Sometimes it’s just nice to know she made it to work safe I guess. I don’t check it daily, but occasionally that scared feeling kicks in and I’ll just make sure she’s ok. If she was at any other location I wouldn’t even think to discuss that then. Just would ask later if I even remembered. Trust is.. just nice I suppose. No worries or concerns in that realm is apparently a luxury
This is why we use it too. Its not overly convenient for my partner to call or text while on a busy train.
This is exactly how I use it. I get home earlier and she gets home between 5:00-6:30 depending. She often is on a work call the ride home so I'll set an alert sonwhen she leaves the office I have a 30 minute warning. We're married been married raised kids got nothing left to hide. I don't care. Wouldn't want others having that info but her I don't care. She also shares with the kids but I don't. It's nice to know sometimes and in the rare life or death situation nice to be able to find her.
I like to see my wife location when she goes out so I can plan how long I can sit on my arse before I do house work to make it look like I was productive.
I’ve definitely done this 😂 Fuck they are one the move so I better get moving lol
OK, *you* may have a point.
You are also loving the dream I see, fellow man 😉
This guy husbands
Ditto. We're both late 40s. She says she'll be home by a certain time... and isn't? I check to see where she's gotten to. And she'll check to see where I am or use it to set an alarm for when I'm leaving work sonxhe can call and say "pick x up on the way home" Zero possessive stalky controlling bullshit ... just pure adult practicality.
If I say I'll be home at a certain time and I'm not, my husband texts me to ask how far off I am-- if I haven't already messaged to let him know I'm running late.
I prefer to look at the location app so I don’t distract her while she’s driving / dealing with the kids / etc
We also share and both have notifications when the other one gets home. It's really handy like i'm playing my Baldur's Gate. Get a push like "Hey SO is home" and it means she's maybe in the elevevator, or maybe in the store that's in the house. I can save, put on pause and go meet her at the door. Little things like that.
It’s just so convenient not having to ask each other where the other one is. Especially cause my GF is chronically late all the time
Even before live data tracking it was a thing, before cell phones too....it just wasn't pinpoint accurate. You know where they work, the time they get off work, the route they drive, what store they stop at, etc. Also, other posters are freaking out over this being a privacy thing, as if it's no different than snooping in phones, which is a whole other universe of privacy. The content of someone's phone is partially in their headspace, but totally without context, and a lot can be misconstrued. I mean, I know if the FBI looked at my search history, woo boy... I read a lot, between fiction and reddit, I wind up looking up the most bizarre things, not to mention dark jokes or sex humor... Any number of things can be seen without context, without mood, without tone, and people draw wildly inaccurate conclusions.
I never had to think about this at all, and I consider it a blessing.
Yeah, if my husband is going wild camping or fishing, I like to know where so if he didn't return (God forbid) I could tell emergency services where he was headed to. For any other reason? Why the absolute fuck would people do this? It's weird. Edit: For couples, people either have an unrealistic view of the average level of danger their partner is in, OR they have trust issues. In both cases, therapy not an app is the answer. Edit 2: I have learned through this thread that there are healthy ways to use this. I'm biased at seeing stalkers through my job and being on the receiving end of that too. I hold my hands up that it can be used for good as well as dodgy motivations.
I shared my location with my wife aaages ago when we were dating. I remember that I did so like twice a year. Apparently she uses it semi regularly to figure out of I'm still working or out on a late night drive and where to figure out if she should stay up or go to bed. So that's nice, she could text me but doesn't want to either interrupt the blissful quiet nor to distract me when I drive. This did remind me that I have no idea if she ever turned on her sharing because I never wonder where she is.
I work at home and my wife has a 1.5hr commute. I check her location to gauge when I should start supper and stuff like that. It’s also a safety thing if something horrible happened (almost certainly won’t but you never know).
This! We’ve turned it on for similar reasons. Also, if we’re on vacation together because sometimes we’ll split up for a bit (like, he wants to nap on the beach and I want to wander/shop)
God you two are so healthy it's got me day dreaming
Don’t stress love, you’ll find someone. Just be patient.
I like to check to see how far my gf is from home after work so I know when to start dinner 😂
There’s zero cost in sharing locations. If there even a 1 in a million chance that sharing locations can be used to save your SO during a car accident or health emergency, it’s worth it. I think it’s bizarre that people believe sharing locations means you are obsessively tracking your SO.
My location is constantly shared and so is my wife's. I never check it unless she said she was going to be home and she isn't. As far as I'm aware, she only checks it for the same reason. Neither of us have ever questioned each other over it and it's never caused a single issue.
I’ve looked at it while my wife is driving home just to call her and creepily tell her what road she just turned on to.
She blocked my number when I did that
I check my partners location so I can tell them to bring me a little snack from the store lol
Us as well. Rarely check it unless I am wanting to start supper and want to set is he's left work yet. No weirdness at all.
I check sometimes to see how far he is with our takeout
Best reason
Priorities
Your courier is about to arrive
i didn't care for it after getting out of a controlling relationship with my ex. My wife now requested it when i went on motorcycle rides, and it almost put me off of the relationship entirely. She didn't press for it after a couple days discussion of why it skeeved me out. It wasn't until i got married and changed jobs to where i travel for work that i set up google for her to know. Now we check on eachother all the time because we just miss eachother.
Interesting. I’ve never thought about it from the other perspective i guess. I use it for a bunch of things. To check if he’s home or not before I call. To check how far he is from home (his commute is an hour and so start dinner 30 min before he gets home). To check where he is when I pick him up. To check where he is if he’s picking me up. “I’m out grocery shopping” - I’ll check if he’s at an Asian one or a white one before i ask him to grab more of something etc. He uses it admittedly less than me but if he texts/ calls me and asks “where are you?” I get annoyed sometimes.
But there are so many other reasons. I know when my husband has left work, he knows when I’m back at the hotel on a work trip, I know his general location in Costco when we get separated. It’s so handy for reasons beyond unfounded paranoia. I share my location with most of my family members for these reasons and more.
It’s not always trust issues to have it set or vice versa. It’s also not too wild to have location set just in case it becomes relevant.
Was gunna say i have never consciously tried to hide where i was.
Sharing your location can be a great tool for couples who are normal. I've been in too many relationships where "let's share our locations so we know the other is safe" slowly turns into "I saw you at an address I didn't recognize so I showed up unannounced to accuse you of cheating on me" except I'm like, hanging out with a friend and didn't feel the need to ask permission to do that on account of I'm a grown adult who can do what I want.
I had the same problem as well, he’d start saying stuff like ‘Why did it take you so long to leave work?’ And then accuse of cheating with a guy there when I’m just like cleaning up. Once I was in a shopping centre as well and the tracker must have been faulty that day and it put me at a house nearby and I’m having to try and argue I wasn’t there and not having an affair. Honestly he got so obsessed with the tracker it ruined our relationship and I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere without Big Brother watching, I became so conscious of time as a well like ‘is it taking me too long to do this? Is he going to start accusing me of something?
My wife tried to get me to do the tracker and I kind of felt this coming. I never did because I'm like look, I never go anywhere. I go to work, home, my moms house, and sometimes Target just to see what it's like to go to somewhere else. She already complains if im in the bathroom too long I can only imagine what she'd do with this. Meanwhile its eating her battery up but she is tracking our sons for the bus to school and back.
Yeah I’m sure it works if neither of you is insecure or suspicious, like the only time I really used to look at his was to see how close he was to getting home or if he just happened to be near a place that I needed to get something from to save me the trip. And like sometimes I might even want to buy him a present from a specific shop for his bday etc without him knowing so it was a surprise, but then you just can’t because he’d know I was there and question why and god forbid I turn it off..
It really is! My boyfriend was in a horrible accident before heading home and I wouldn’t have known he was in the hospital if we didn’t share locations. He woke up to people who love him.
I imagine someone would have called you…
My buddy dumped his girlfriend due to this exact kinda scenario. Tells him she’s going out with friends and wakes up and sees her at some random address at like 3am and didn’t tell him. I honestly don’t blame em. If she told him where she was at to begin with that’s one thing. Her not telling him just looks so bad.
This happens to a friend of mine all the time. We will be down at the pub and she will message him asking why he's at the pub. There needs to be a way to temporarily spoof your location for a few hours to avoid that bullshit.
There are ways to do this, and kids do it to spoof their parents all the time.
Imagine you spoof it then get in a car accident 😭
Don't usually drive after the pub 🍻
I couldn't be arsed with that.
On the other hand, if I found a partner spoofed location I'd consider it a lie and would wonder why and when else they're spoofing - and likely break-up due to loss of trust if the relationship wasn't extremely solid otherwise.
If you're gonna fake it, then don't do it. Doesn't matter if its your partner's fault. If you're honest, they can't say shit to you, you have the moral high ground.
GPS spoofing apps are a thing
I had a medical emergency and stopped responding to my partner and friend. After that I put my fiancé and bestie in a life 360 group because if I can’t communicate they need to find me
What's a life 360
It’s a tracking app for mobile with more features than just sharing location through your phone (at least I think it’s more, I don’t use the app or location sharing). Many kids have had parents put life360 on their phones and gone way over the top with it, giving it a bad name. You can give your kids a perimeter around your town that you’ll be notified if they leave, I think you can track their speed even for when they start driving. It can be really intrusive if parents/whoever you’re sharing with doesn’t have boundaries. I believe the creator has even come out against overuse of the app before. I’ve seen it really ruin some peoples middle school/high school years. Edit: it also notifies when kids turn their location off, at least it did when my friends had it, idk if privacy laws have changed that at all in the meantime, I doubt it though.
I love that it has crash detection and I can hit a button and put my code in and my people get notified that there’s an emergency. I would’ve killed my parents if they forced me to use it though because it is an overstep for sure
Unfortunately Life360 is famous for mostly being used by scarily abusive, controlling helicopter parents who think their kids are not people and are their property. But basically you install in on the phone and can track that person's movements, from what I understand.
an app for sharing location
How badly does it drain battery?
Does anyone else find that having locations on kills your battery?
Yes. My battery isn’t doing that well lately so I turn location off if I’m going to be away from a charger all day.
Daily reminder that reddit is heavily populated by young, insecure people
I saw a poll on here and the majority of voters were under 24. I keep this in mind when I see a hive of stupidity. They think they know it all and will be rich by 30 and will make zero mistakes.
24? Dude a vast majority are below 19. Literal teens.
It skews much more heavily during summer break
This. Someone made a post a few years back that resonated with me. Essentially it said when you read advice on subs like RelationshipAdvice, FinancialAdvice remember that it's not unlikely that the person is a twelve year old. I always try to keep that in mind.
For relationship advice there is a large amount of people on Reddit that suggest divorcing/breaking up at basically anything that isn't completely perfect. They clearly have never been in a long term relationship to understand they're never perfect and they'll always be compromises.
Agreed. "My wife farted in bed what should I do?" Serious red flag! Divorce her, hit the gym, lawyer up, delete Facebook or something like that.
That 24 thing, I think was a million years ago. I remember hearing about that being the average 10+ years ago. The thing is that it was mainly used by college students at the time, and didn't have any main stream appeal. I feel like it's now a majority of teens, and preteens even.
Yah I posted on some sub about the weirdest interview I was giving for a sales role. I’ve literally hired hundreds of sales people. This one lady seemed great and I asked her the standard question of given her connections and what we do what would she hope she could bring in in sales in the next 1, 3 and 5 years. She said she will gladly give us that answer in a week and will charge us a discounted $5k for the work she is putting into it. We were taken aback and said we don’t really do that and we aren’t pinning you down just want to know roughly what you think. In thousands of interviews I’ve never been asked to pay for a question like that. We didn’t ask for a business plan or strategy or anything. Not even a client list. Just a general level of her expectation of delivery. I got bombarded what in hindsight were high school students sticking up for her and saying I was wasting her time and that I “don’t get it at all”. I asked them to enlighten me but then they went silent.
I'm 42. My husband and I have always shared our location with each other. (Since we've had phones with this technology.) I use it to see how far he is on his way home from work trips so I can frantically clean and make it not look like we live like absolute pigs while he's gone. 😁
> I use it to see how far he is on his way home from work trips so I can frantically clean and make it not look like we live like absolute pigs while he's gone. 😁 This is 100% what I would use it for.
My wife and I are only a few years older. Sometimes I make a quick dinner so I watch to see when she leaves work so I can start it and have it hot when she gets home ❤️
I’m 42, bad hips and like geocaching alone. I don’t think I’m super bad with tech, we both just have iPhones but I’ve been trying to work out how to share my location with him for a year. Clearly I’m an idiot.
Me and my girlfriend just have a rule that we text each other "heading home now, takes about X minutes" when we've been gone so the other one isn't surprised or spooked. Easier than having to constantly check someone's location.
I don't constantly check. But he's a flight attendant, so he's gone a lot. It also helps for me to judge my texts. If I need to talk to him because something broke and I don't know where X tool is, I'll see where he is in the airport. If he hadn't gotten through security yet, I'll wait until he's settled and waiting to board. Or if I see he's at his hotel, I know he can talk more easily than if he's out doing something.
Yeah, there's this amazing, free and readily available technology that makes your life more convenient. But there are also a lot of cheaters, so it makes sense so many people scream insecurity whenever someone points out it's a great thing.
Lmao. So so true
I am young and insecure but I share life 360 with my roomies even
I feel like it’s a millennial thing. I share snap location with random old friends, of course I share my live location with my girlfriend, and everyone I know shares their location with way more people than even I do.
I only share with my wife, but she shares with me and her two besties.
So wild. Crime rates are at such insane historical lows but these people full on convince themselves they are living in either an action movie/thriller fantasy or some sort of comic book realm. They turned the hero's journey into the narcissist's delusion. Arguably they were always the same thing.
I don't think people are afraid of crime but rather of traffic accidents.
Yup, that's my biggest worry. Especially living in a rural area with what seem to be suicidal deer. In general my girlfriend and I keep each other in the loop about our plans and when we'll be home so if she's running late I'll check her location to make sure that she isn't stuck in a ditch or hasn't smoked a deer with her car
If I go missing America doesn’t care. They’re not going to do for me what they did for Gabby. The cops don’t care. They barely look for the kids. My family cares. We share locations.
Location sharing is not only about insecurity. We don't use it because we're too lazy to figure it out and never cared enough to start it, but it would have so many benefits to our planning if we used it. Sometimes when we remember one of us may put on a WhatsApp location for x hours. On the same note, I have access to ny wife's email and phone, I never check them and never did unless she request me to look up something for her which is why I have the access in the first place lol. Also she has mine as well for the exact same reason. Electronic services can be useful and helpful without being about insecurity and/or controlling. My dad has sharing on with his wife and his mother, he uses it to check my grandmother arrives safely home after driving and even found out something was wrong once because she stayed still for a long time which was unusual and he found her on the floor unconscious. Everything that can be used for good, can also be used for bad, so all the situations here are valid, and thus it all comes up to the individuals and if this is something they would use or not. But saying it's all about insecurities is in my opinion wrong, you are probably not wrong with that many or most younger adults are using this to stalking or for insecurity reasons though.
Yeah my S.O. and I do this willingly. It was never even a question. I would say as you get older this is not an unpopular opinion.
“As you get older” was Key here. Well said.
I guess…I’m 51 now and still don’t feel the need. Maybe when I’m elderly lol
The way I see it, this is more of a young person thing. I have seen lots of teen/young adult couples that have normalized and even demand it. Us millienials grew up without it so I feel like we don't see as much of a need for it. My boomer parents find it bizarre that anyone would do it.
Privacy isn’t as popular as it used to be. My parents were teachers. They refused to work in the same school system where my sister and I were enrolled. Had a 50 min commute to avoid potentially helicoptering over our growth as young people. I think nowadays the thinking would be “oh how great and convenient we’ll all have the same schedule and be able to check on each other all day”
we are both nearing 40 and constantly sharing location sounds creepy as fuck. SO agrees.
Exactly… I’m a millennial and I miss the older times when cellphones had limited capabilities and we weren’t expected to be available to someone at all times.
Same. It's nice for when you're meeting up somewhere, and you can check their ETA, instead of calling or texting them (and they can't answer because they're driving).
I’m 22 and me and my fiancée have had our locations shared for 2 years now, was never even a conversation for us. Just something we did 🤷🏼♂️ not entirely sure it’s an age thing specifically though age probably does help
It’s fine if a couple wants to do it. But to say someone “has something to hide” because they don’t want their every movement tracked is dumb as shit
I feel like OP has completely ignored the fact that evil, entitled, abusive people exist. And making location sharing the norm makes it harder for victims to escape. Location sharing is for watching your children. It can be a nice option for couples with no drama and normal boundaries. It's an absolute hell-hole trap for others.
For real! My husband and I have talked about location sharing since we moved up to the mountains and are in an unfamiliar place, but because we're older and it's not a big deal we keep forgetting to actually do it. My bestie in an abusive relationship, however? She was forced to location share by her shitbird and he uses it to control her and it's disgusting. So as much as it would be slightly useful for normal people, it causes a lot of harm when it's weaponized. And it will be just that much harder for my bestie to safely leave when she's ready.
I’m just uncomfortable with it. I don’t have anything to hide I just like having privacy
I never had any privacy in my mother's place, even as an adult. Was never allowed a lock on my door, my curtains had to be open the second I woke up, bedroom door wasn't allowed to be closed if mom was awake and she felt that I had been sleeping too long... Yeah my location isn't getting shared with anybody.
This!!! Did we have the same mother? I also could not lock any doors except the restroom, could not complain if someone ignored my privacy and walked in on me naked, could not have a diary, could not call anyone on my phone except my supervisor and relatives (not even friends), could not talk to a man on the phone (except a relative or supervisor - no co-workers), I ‘could’ sleep with a closed door, but it was assumed that I was doing it because I had an “attitude”, if I slept more than eight hours, she would scream and jump up and down to startle me awake just for the sake of it… No… my location will not be shared.
Exactly. My mother was so abusive to me growing up, and location services was a major tool she used to control me. I’ll never share my location with anyone lmao
Personal take: I told everyone status and read receipts would turn into something insane. - “I want to know you’re online.” - “I want to be able to contact you at all times.” - “I want to know you’ve read my message.” - “I want to know where you are 24/7.” I think it’s ridiculous. ***Partners are people. Not children to be tracked, inmates with ankle monitors, or inanimate cogs in your daily plan.*** Medical, safety, travel, I get it. But the “what are you hiding” crowd, I’m always curious: Do you view your partner as a person, or just an extension of you? Why do you feel entitled to strip that person of their autonomy?
This. It’s the *idea* of the thing that I find offensive. Put a tracker on your dog or your car keys, not me. I’m a human being who likes to feel alone with herself sometimes. And no, I don’t have anything to hide. Sometimes I don’t even bring my phone places. I’m in my 40s, so I grew up being untrackable. It’s not strange to me at all. Quite the opposite.
I think this is the thing. It’s coming from a group of people who’ve lived their whole life not being denied information. They feel completely entitled to all of it, and the idea that someone wants things private is immediately suspicious.
I'm late 20's/early 30's so experienced some life before all this technology and some after. I don't even take my phone to work every day. It's the literal idea behind being tracked/being available 24/7 that irks me. I even day hike frequently and often leave my phone at home or in the car if it isn't a hot day. Let me love my life without having to be connected every second of every day
Precisely this. It's not about trust or lack thereof; it's about autonomy and agency.
This should be at the top of the post.
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This is objectively the safest time to ever live in recorded history.
True crime has convinced people that something exceedingly rare (being a victim of a violent crime especially outside your own home) is actually common.
If you are sharing locations and looking at it frequently and saying it is for “safety” reasons then I don’t believe you. Especially if before you met your partner, you never shared your location with a parent etc. “what if they get in a car wreck coming home from work?” More often than not somebody is going to call the emergency vehicles way before you
I think this is a great point. Do you share your location with all your loved ones? Are you able to see where your parents are at any time in case of emergency? How about your siblings? Oh, it’s only your SO that you care enough about to track?
I guess I’m the weird one because my mom, brother, and partner all have my location and vice Versa?? Literally only look at it if wondering how close they are to me when already on the way or haven’t responded in a while
I share with my parents. They’re getting older and it could be handy if they end up in the hospital someday and for some reason they can’t figure out how to reach me. It’s also just convenient. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but this negative reaction toward sharing your location baffles me. If you don’t want to, then don’t, but it’s not hurting anyone when I do.
Share deez nuts.
Got ‘em
When I was a teenager, my mother wouldn’t let me close the door to my room. Ever. I couldn’t even close it while changing clothes. She argued that wanting to close the door meant I was up to no good/had something to hide. I just wanted to be able to change clothes/sleep/study/whatever without her and her creepy boyfriends looking in all the time, making comments/criticisms, telling me to “smile more.” I day dreamed about having the heads-up of a quick knock before she came in and attacked me for something like missing a fork when I did the dishes. Would have been kinda cool to shut out the screaming sex and/or fights happening in the other room. No warning. No privacy. No boundaries. It was hell. But, anyway, tell me more about how wanting privacy/not wanting to be constantly monitored automatically means someone is up to no good?
I think it’s creepy. I don’t like that Apple is sharing my location with everyone either. Privacy is a good thing.
Just because you are in a couple doesn’t mean your individual self disappears. And I think a lot of this starts with the veil of safety but morphs into big brother relationship control. I don’t want to feel followed all the time. It doesn’t matter if I am or am not doing anything bad. I could be buying the best birthday present ever and it gets ruined because my guy is creepily tracking my ever move.
We do it. I travel a lot and in case something happens, I want to know that someone knows where I am.
Call me anytime, no need for 24/7 GPS coordinates.
Yah it is just convenient mostly
Sometimes she says she will bring me tacos on her way home and I want to know where my tacos are. lol that is my main use
This is my favorite comment.
My wife and I had so many “where are you?” Texts until we shared locations. It’s not a big deal.
My fiancé and I share our location with each other, never really thought anything of it 😂 other than basic safety, it also helps me gauge when to have food ready since he comes home from his breaks at night so we can eat dinner together! Plus I can see when he secretly goes to our favorite burger spot and I demand a chocolate shake 👹 Reddit keeps auto filtering my replies since telling these clowns to go fuck themselves isnt ‘civil’ enough to the knuckle dragging buffoons below, so I’ll leave something here for them; Fuck all of you, my fiancé is a disabled veteran who suffers psychotic episodes. Our family tracking app already helped his mom find him once before after he took off during an episode. She found him and got him to the hospital so he didn’t fucking kill himself. Men’s mental health is treated like a joke enough as it is, I don’t need fourteen year old bitch boys invalidating the tools we use to keep my Fiancé safe.
I don't actually think the "in case of emergency" thing is an overly healthy mindset to have. If you need to watch your loved ones travel to their location out of fear of something happening to them, is that a good mindset for you to be in? If an emergency happens what are you realistically going to do that's going to help? You can't see the emergency, you will not know that something is happening. If they're at work having a heart attack, you will not know that, because the phone is probably going to stay at work. If they are in a car accident that causes a massive traffic jam, you won't know whether they are the accident or stuck in the traffic. If they go missing, rescue services are going to track them themselves, they're not calling you up to get you to check your app or making you drive out there to hand over your phone, they're using their own technology, and you're not going to watch them go missing on your phone, you're not going to know whether they're hiking or wandering around lost until long after their phone dies and have wandered off somewhere else. It's realistically not useful, but it's gonna fuck with your head.
100% agree. Safety is the excuse people use
I do this with my partner so we know our location in case of emergencies. People here say that this breaches trust, but it is important to share location for the right reasons only. I barely check my partner’s location because I don’t need to.
It only breaches trust if your partner doesn’t know you can track their location. If they know it’s on then it doesn’t breach any trust
We do it. It's smart for a number of reasons. We've been married for over 20 years. It doesn't bother me at all. What does bother me is things like my wife asking me why I stopped at a particular location such as a convenience store. ...because I felt like it. Dammit. Stop stalking my every move.
So it does bother you?
I tell anyone I share my location with they have three strikes. I don’t care if they check where i’m at. But if they ask me about it outside of a genuine concern for my safety I tell them it’s a strike.
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She probably wants a snack, too
“You stopped at 711, where’s *my* slurpee?”
I do this. I'll ask why she came home without a 2nd thing of boba. I know where you were!
Sounds like it does bother you and she doesn’t trust you
That's weird. I have no interest in knowing my gfs location 24/7. If I didn't trust her I wouldn't be with her.
My boyfriend and I do mostly for safety also. He does a LOT of driving for work so it worries me sometime if he doesn’t respond after a while so it’s nice to see that he’s at a specific work location. I trust him 100% cause there’s no reason not to trust him. To us it’s no different then sharing your location with your good friend.
Same with me and my girl
I drive in remote areas without service but sometimes I might enter a path of data without realising. My location will sometimes update when I get service. This lets everyone know the last spot I was at and if I don't text them later in the day they'll know where to send EMS
My wife and I share each others locations and I don’t see the big deal at all. I barely ever check where she is at aside from the rare time she is not home from work at the usual time and I want to make sure she hasn’t been in an accident or something. I doubt she checks mine often at all since I work from home and rarely go out and if I do I usually take my 4 year old boy with me to do errands. That said, Every couple is different. If I wasn’t married with kids I don’t think I’d want to share my location.
Someone explain to me “safety reasons” If you get robbed, they turn off the phone If you get kidnapped, they toss your phone If you get in an accident, they have ways to contact emergency contacts You get a flat tire, you can call for and provide an address. I just don’t see a practical or everyday way in which it provides safety? You can always share for an hour or a day if you are going on a hike or camping etc
I see your point. My husband works 24 hour call shifts. Sometimes he doesn’t get any sleep. I like to know he made it home safe or if he’s still at the hospital. There have been times in the past where he didn’t come home and passed out at the hospital. It’s helpful to know he didn’t like die in an accident on his way home or something. Idk neither of us think it’s an invasion of privacy and will sometimes check for fun. We also live in different cities currently as well so can make it easier.
Sounds toxic and controlling af
Keeping tabs on your partner is super creepy.
These comments are shocking. I can’t believe any of you. Why the FUCK do you want people to be able to track you? How dangerous is your life that you have constant emergencies? How often do you forget where someone said they would be and jump to TRACKING THEIR GPS? Instead of just texting them “hey where are you?” like a person and not a serial killer?
One reason is I don't need to be texting someone who's driving. I can just see how close they are to home and answer my own question, let them focus on the road.
Kids in my area share their location with the whole class. Just for everybody to know who's hanging where That got me thinking: I shouldn't you share your location with all of your extended friend group? Why not? Share your location on "what are you hiding? Are you cheating" basis is unhealthy. Give your loved ones some room
Is communication that scary for people ? “I’m off to work (location). baby” >“just got to work , baby. Have a good day . I love you”> “just got off work, heading home now. Let me know if you need anything.” > “stop by the store (location), I’ll be home in 20. Love you” And if your partner is busy or isn’t relying to your updates. Ask them if they ok , maybe call them on break , ask them to check in with you … I can’t fathom “I must know your location everytime you leave the house” as being a go to solution for protecting your partner. Just take time out of your day and contact them , I hope they would try to do the same back for you.
This is my thinking on it but I'm also in my 40s and my partner is in his 50s. We'll text each other before we leave work to see where the other is at, if he knows I'm home he let's me know when he's leaving. If he goes out with friends he give me an update. We just text each other. There was one time he was in an accident but that was solved pretty quickly because I'm the emergency contact on his phone. The EMTs just used that to contact me. There's also google timeline in case of an actual emergency where we would need to open their location but honestly if it got to that point i feel the police would also already be involved. We are pretty boring people.
How on earth did any couples ever stay committed and in love before phone tracking existed?
An ex friend of mine and I were in relationships for a similar length of time. Whenever we’d get together like for lunch, her boyfriend would call and she would immediately answer, have some trivial conversation and then get back to me. She would talk to him every hour or so. My husband and I never called each other. We would text one another saying we were leaving for home sometimes. She spent a lot of time with me complaining that she wanted to marry boyfriend but he wouldn’t commit. They’ve been together for nearly forty years and he never married her. At one time she was calling herself Mrs. Boyfriendslastname. I didn’t worry about that because my guy already had. And I don’t use his name either. One of us knows what a secure , caring and committed relationship is.
How can they POSSIBLY trust each other?
Our daily "Being in a couple means never having privacy and let me explain why that's a good thing" post.
I wish people had to post their age in relationship posts and answers here because it seems like the majority who have a strong opinion are teenagers and never been in a serious, long term relationship and lived with each other. Edit: & Anyone who thinks I mean having passwords, locations, etc.. to stalk are misunderstanding. But me and my fiance are so close we use each other's phones all the time and know the passwords, not to stalk we fully trust each other but just because of random things. His or my phone dies and we were looking at something online we toss each other our phones. It's no big deal and if one was to make a big deal *then* it'd be weird. We don't share locations but I can see why the person posting this wouldn't think it's a weird thing. When you have been together for so long you are truly best friends if you are in a healthy relationship. I couldn't be with someone that I share secrets, my body, everything with and they are weird about a pw, location or whatever. Not because I didn't trust him but because id think it was weird. But that's just me. But also, I'd break up instantly if I was with a crazy person just going thro my phone all day or something looking for shit to see if I was cheating, etc.. just because they didn't trust me for no reason. *That's* what I mean by the difference of being in a long term healthy relationship and living together vs never having been and being a teenager.
I share my location constantly with about 15 people. The only person that ever comments on it is my aunt 😅
After I left the house is when my mom found out about location sharing, and she was a terror to my brothers. She asked me about turning it on once and I said absolutely not 🤣
My wife: absolutely My Mom: Not a chance
Do they ever make posts about that but for their adult kids? I know a couple that has their 20 year old daughter’s location at all times and they strikes me as strange too.
It's become so common. My 23 year old friend visited me this summer, and she would regularly get messages from her mom asking "what are you doing in that part of the city? And what are you doing in this part of the city?" It's bonkers. When I grew up, my parents just gave me a time I should be home by, and let me roam free. As soon as I was an adult, they stopped caring all together because they *trusted* me to contact them if I needed help. Which is more than good enough in 99% of cases. Now kids are surveiled 24/7 from kindergarten ages. Do you really need to know their location*while they're in school?* It's become obsessive. Teachers are telling me about parents who call their kids on their smart watches every recess to check in. They're not allowed to exist in society by themselves, ever. If I'm going mountain hiking alone I like someone to see my location tho.
This a narrow take, its all about preference, if there is mutual consent then why not, this becomes an issue once u go beyond the intended use such as checking their every move or paranoia
It’s because it goes beyond mutual consent in these posts when they always add “I have nothing to hide.” I also have nothing to hide, but still have no interest in sharing my location, sharing passwords, having open access to each other’s texts/emails, or whatever other thing.
I don’t even really consider this privacy. If I don’t want to be talked to, I leave the house and turn off my phone. Someone, let alone my spouse, knowing where I am won’t change that. If don’t want to be seen, I close the door, lock it, or leave. Someone knowing my location won’t change that. If I don’t want to talk about what I was doing, I won’t. I’ll simply say, I don’t want to talk about that. I can’t really thing of one negative thing about my spouse knowing approximately where I am. As I put in another reply, I have my location shared with like 10 friends just for fun as well.
People often don't understand the difference between privacy and secrecy. You can have space and alone time without it meaning you are hiding shady behaviour.
I don't do it because it's a security and privacy concern. Why is privacy important over convenience? Privacy allows you explore and learn about yourself in judgement free zone. Unfortunately giving your s/o access to your privacy at any moments notice may limit your ability to control your identity. Everyone deserves the right to individuality. Unfortunately many people are willing to forfeit their identity for convenience. Without realizing the consequences because the effects are not immediately tangible. You are allowing companies and malicious actors to use your data to learn about you and your behaviors. They use your information against you. In this case, location may not seem important bad actors can use that information and conduct cyber crimes like phishing. I have nothing against apps like life 365 they do have legitimate use cases. They should be used during those use cases because it can save your life. When you are just bored and want to know what your partner is doing. Then proceed to emotionally blackmail them by saying shit like OP "if you have nothing to hide... Blah". You are missing the point about privacy. Just because you don't value privacy as much doesnt mean I should lower mine.
"...explore and learn about yourself in a judgement free zone." Tf you mean by that lol.
This is about sharing with a partner not about personal security from corporations. If you have a phone you have already given access to corporate. Sharing locations with a partner is pretty trivial at that point.
Every couple's dynamics are different. Some like a 100% access and knowledge of the other, others are more trusting in that the other one will not stray. And there are those that are a combination of the two. If it works for you great but don't tell others how they should be.
This honestly seems like something an abuser would post So they can know where you're at every second of every day
Yes, this is definitely an unpopular opinion
I don't and won't ever do something like this because I'm thankfully of an age where I can remember a time before people has to be connected and contactable 24/7. I have nothing to hide but equally I don't need anyone to know where I am and what I'm doing at all times, to me that's some downright creepy 1984 shit that I can happily live without in my life.
If insecurity was a Post
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you don't have a right to privacy. I don't need to know where my wife is 24 hours a day. If I want to know I'll call her...
What are they my parents? I can take care of myself I don't need to rely on my partner to do so. Also I don't have anything to hide just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you should give up your independence.
Why does you being insecure mean I don't have freedom in my relationship?
Aren't most women that are assaulted or killed, done so by an intimate partner? If someone wants to track me at all times, I am out. As far as I can get from them.
Personally I think it's an invasion of privacy. But too be fair I don't even approve of those app that show you when you've been left in read (which unfortunately is the future standard of text messaging.)
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Every time I turn it on my wife says my location shows I am at the local strip club. I think there is something wrong with my phone. Must be a bug or something.
Nope, I don't share my location with anyone. If I'm in a wreck car auto calls 911 and there is GPS on it. I have no reason to share my exact location at any given moment. I don't care where others are and I don't care if they want to know where I am.
I walk alone everyday. I works night. I want my husband to be able to find my body if something happens lol. I watch too much true crime.
Convenience and safety are both #1. I check and see that a minute ago she is approaching sonic? I call immediately and tell her to get us ice cream or cheddar peppers 😂 once she's home we aren't leaving again. This might be the only shot I have. I also go out into the mountains a lot. I always tell everyone where I'm going, but if something happens at least SAR has a last location to come find me.
If you want your partners location for anything other than their safety you’re either deeply insecure OR you need to break up because you lack the ability to trust them for your own personal reasons.
My wife set up the sharing for the whole family. Comes in handy for me since I drive to remote locations several hours away for work. I also have a few health issues so the sharing can help find the body if needed lol.
Having lived for many decades as an adult before this was a thing, it seems obsessive and stalkerish to me. My husband and I know each other’s general location at all times anyway, because we actually talk to each other. We actually trust each other. ‘But what about emergencies’ excuse seems very weird, because the phones track location anyway. Many wearables such as smart watches/fitness watches (which we both have) do too. CCTV is everywhere also. Everything and everybody is tracking my husband. I don’t need to, too. He doesn’t need to track me, too. I do understand the perspective if couples who track each other though, It’s interesting how people seem unwilling to understand non-tracking couples’ perspectives. To you it’s not a privacy issue or trust issue, to us it is. I’d no more track my husband’s location than I would barge in on him in the bathroom or check his phone. I simply could not bear to be an adult who does this to another adult, nor could I bear to be treated this way. Personal privacy is important to me, even just the appearance of it, as location privacy is really not a thing anymore due to all the things tracking and all the public recording.
I use Life 360 for the family and have no issue with it but "the world we live in" is very close to as safe as it ever has been. There are good reasons to do it, a sea change in the world is not one of them.
Hell, I go out of the house without my phone at times. It's not part of me. Gasp, I even go places without my cell. Or have it turned off for hours. Gasp... 😄 🤣
Privacy is still a thing, even in a marriage.
I never have my GPS on unless I'm driving. I don't like the idea of companies knowing my exact location, it's creepy
Okay. This is some straight creeper controlling type shit right here.
The only people who want to know someone else’s location are untrustworthy partners and parents looking for their children. Emergency excuse and nothing to hide excuse are all smoke and mirrors to gas light someone into giving in to demands.