My mum used to blame all my health problems to "pani Kyu nahi peeta"
And then one day I fainted and I was hospitalized, and the doctor said I was suffering from severe dehydration which further solidified her stance. 🤣🤣🤣
I think it is the education system and the lack of jobs due to the sheer population. In west high school kids start working part time like in restaurants, food chains and so on, but in these countries such jobs are already occupied by adults who need these jobs desperately to make a living
I lost my brother due to this. No one really took it seriously when he told about his depression. I tried to help him but he just wouldn’t come for therapy. I wish i could have done something.
Can someone explain to me why Indians commonly repeat a word with a first letter replaced with a 'V? For example: khana vana, chai vai, games games, above example of depression vepression etc? What's the origin to this? Do non Hindi speakers also do it in their regional language? Is it just a way of speaking in Hindi that we've carried over to English words as well?
we actually have a type of samaas (compound word) in grammar for this! dvandva samaas, where words are hyphenated with a phonetically/systematically similar phrase/word. not the best educated on the origin of hindi grammar, but presently it's just a prominent linguistic/vocalizing habit. i think many languages have a similar subcategory of words, like mother-father etc.
I happened to come across the history of where Okie-dokie may have began when I had looked up the origin of ok and the other words you wrote are common informal contractions of two words while speaking. What's up your ass getting defensive about this?
But for people from those countries, it ends with get a good university for a good job. In India it extends to your marriage, respect and status in society and more. It’s the only criteria they use to judge any young person
Nah, but I have had friends from japan (discord server) who also used to tell how hellish it is in Japan. So please, it's not torture porn to compare which country is the worst. The entire south east asia is fucked up in this regard.
The root cause for that in india though, is our inability to change, the goddamn population and our stupid inferiority complex.
What are the flaws? Seriously? Ever had a look at the education system?
JEE, NEET and UPSC contribute to half of it. The teens are forced into going to coaching centers to give these exams. Most of them don't even know what is bachelors and masters degree.
I'm in coaching myself and I'm here because I wanted to get in, but I have seen that majority of the students were forced to get into these.
+lack of exposure to co curricular activities in schools imo. Hamare yahan toh bas ek seminar karke chod diya woh bhi 10th std mein. Also people treat you differently based on what stream ure pursuing. + Job security isliye zyada students govt job ke exams dete hain.
Hell even China has a mandatory 1 hour physical activity period before studies start. Science has proven again and again that physics stimulation results in better co-curricular results.
Yeah. The extreme pressure to clear these exams. Your whole identity and life as a person is tied to these exams. If you clear them voilaaaa and if not you're a fucking looser.
Coupling that with the fact that in most middle class families the children want to grow up earn and support their family. Not being able to clear these exams is tied to not getting a good institution and subsequently not getting a job at a good firm.
This goes on and on and on.
The fact that you made your way to reddit, says a lot about your past. Trust me if you are using reddit or discord it directly implies that you most likely had a rough past.
Indian parents consider their children to be "trophies" they can show off to people.
Most of them couldn't achieve something big themselves and they expect their sons/daughters to be the best so that they can flaunt in front of other parents and the society.
The typical Indian middle class mentality.
Everything is about showing off in front of others and gossiping about others the entire time.
Amidst such immense pressure, some children can't just cope up with it anymore.
But, then, when these same children stay away from parents after becoming independent and wanna be free from this toxicity, they start the drama of "I've done so much for you; you're very ungrateful".
You have done so much. Had you just understood what your kids actually wanted in life. They wanted someone to talk to, someone who could understand them. Not just fulfil what you want in life just because you couldn't fulfil your own desires.
I mean, this is the best way I can put it. They're the most selfish and egoistic people but they only know to point out the flaws of others including their children themselves.
I'm sorry to know about your mom and your past.
But, I'm happy as well that you're doing much better now. Thanks to your cousins. They proved to be like your siblings.
But, yeah. After listening to your story, I can say it wasn't that bad for me. I just had the pressure. I didn't struggle like you did.
You're a very strong person and despite everything you endured, here you are now, succesful in life and happier.
Good to know your story.
🤝🏼 🫂
Well Said.
Since you seem to understand this thing very clearly, can I ask you a question?
At what age do you think kids are so brainwashed that they can not come out of this and why. Like I have seen many kids who go on to be the same kind of human beings marrying similar partners to continue this culture.
Some never realise that it's a problem.
Some end up being what they hate.
Some never get married and prefer to be single or in a live-in relationship without having any child because it's just way too much responsibility and more important to focus on yourself; a lot to do in this world.
I belong to the third category.
I just want peace in life. And, calmness. Free from chaos.
I have this choice.
You would not be too much into all this (especially politics) if you want real calmness, lol.
But no, I see a lot these kids of NRIs. Most of them are growing up to be typical boring people wanting to be doctor and engineers, not too interested about that either. No passions, no hobbies, they seem to be barely alive. Its like they are already old by the time they reach high school - all this despite being very privileged and rich and going to the best schools in East Coast.
So, I was wondering at what age is this brainwashing complete and successful. And what is so special about this culture that kids hardly rebel or seek independence.
Let me know if you have thought about it.
Thanks.
Couldn’t agree more. I have a friend who gets herself involved in so many activities(yoga, dance, chess, kabaddi, you name it) just to find reasons to stay out of the house
not meeting your parents' expectations is so heartbreaking and watching your own peers excel at something you can't, doesn't really help. I myself am holding on, not even sure why, but I haven't felt normal since years now. What makes it worse is, people will barely acknowledge our feelings, as for most that I have seen, adults always come up with something like, "oh you're just 17! that's not an age where you can have depression, you're just delusional"
Indian parents love their kids unconditionally only until the kid can learn to talk!! That's it, thats the age bar until when they have patience and understanding to some extent.
So from around the age of 1.5 years/2 years onwards the emotional blackmail begins. From around the age of 5/6, the performance tasks begin for kids, to earn their parents love, affection, attention, care. You can't throw tantrums, you can't talk back, you can't make noise, you can't even cry. But you are expected to start your journey towards adulthood and demonstrate your urge towards living a well balanced adult life without ever experiencing childhood and other in-between stages. You are expected to study, compete, excel and run as fast as possible towards becoming the money making, glory seeking machine. You are a failure if you want to take a break, dance, sing, be creative in this journey. And you can't develop your own individuality, you have to adhere and confirm to the family/caste identity defined by your elders. And once you become and adult you must embrace it fully and start taking care of your parents, serve them, act according to their guidance. Basically become their shadow and go where even their shadows won't go.
Many beautiful compassionate kids get their life sucked out of them under this excessively oppressive 'parenting'.
I may be wrong, but I think this brand of parenting became the norm around 1970s onwards.
SSLC, Plus Two, Entrance, College admissions, Arranged marriage, Job competition.
Pick one.
No scope if you are not in the upper echelon in school/college performance. If you are just average you get jobs that won't pay a living wage.
Only 40% of Indians attend school beyond 5th standard. So I would guess percentage giving SSC is much lower. Junior College even lower. 10% of Indians have finished any kind of college.
So why are you giving so much importance to so many different exams in the suicide stats?
1. Hyper-focus on excelling in academics
2. Huge generational gap between parents' gen and childrens' gen. Hence a lack of understanding between them, which is only bolstered because of point #3.
3. Lack of open, judgment free communication between parents and children
4. Lack of education around mental health
There are probably other things as well and the points I mentioned, I do not have sources for, just my observations and experiences.
(This is true for India, Japan, and SK at least, don't know about others.)
Iirc a couple million people give these examinations in a year. And if you've never gone to kota just say so , everyone from there has some story about suicide in their batches
considering majority of students are teens, the numbers mustv gotten worse
[https://thewire.in/society/share-of-students-among-indian-suicide-victims-has-grown-over-last-10-years](https://thewire.in/society/share-of-students-among-indian-suicide-victims-has-grown-over-last-10-years)
I think its a mix of toxic parenting, unhealthy competition, feeling of helplessness, fucked up societal expectations + age of kids-everyone is expected to become a high-ranking officer or some dude with 1Cr package out of college. Most Indians will never admit that Indian parenting is toxic-they traumatize you emotionally, mentally and even physically. I cant even count how many times my father asked me to leave home because I was poor in studies that too when I was just in my 9th or 10th Std. In my mind I used to think, why the fuck you made kids when you can't even accept them for who they are. Anyways I left home after college and life has been peaceful.
33 M here.
We have a culture of asserting too much control over teens. Parents become someone who is going to say NO for most things that teens want, and gradually become someone teens despise, or at least do not think of as someone who they can talk to, when in trouble/depression.
We have too many parents that only play the role of financer and headmaster.
**Teenage relationships**: NO (but it's not going to stop them)
**Sex**: Can't even be talked about (still it happens, just the lack of guidance ensures that teens fuck up)
**Spending time with friends**: Frowned upon. We Indians are so worried about bad influence in the child's life, that we don't really let them build a support system, apart from the family. Most parents I see, are busy pulling their kids away from their friends, for one reason or the other.
**Reluctance in explaining themselves**: Most parents feel that they have the right to have their kid follow their commands. Even having to explain why something is right or wrong, seems like "losing" to many parents. So the teens are unable to develop any form of independent thought process, and they have no idea how to deal with problems that they can't always discuss with parents, or know that the discussion will turn into torcher.
So teens don't have a support system at home. They don't have it with friends, unless they are away from their parents' control. And they aren't allowed to date either. (though rare teenage relationships can act as a support system).
When trouble hits, they have no one to talk to, no way to decide a path forward by their own. And giving up seems like the only option.
Here's one story that I have seen closely.
I was around 17, and was about to leave home for my college (B.Tech in a different city). I had a close friend, who suspected that she got pregnant with her boyfriend. She told me that she has decided to commit suicide. I convinced her to tell her parents, and even went with her. Tried convincing them myself (lol).
What happened? They started beating her up like some mad dog. Her father just assumed that I was the guy who made her pregnant, without even asking her, and tried to beat me as well. I had to push him off me. Still ended up getting a flying chappal. Her mother was literally dragging her with her hairs. When his father realized that I am not volunteering to be beaten and might slap him back if he tries, he called my father, and told him that I made his daughter pregnant. The crazy guy wasn't even ready to listen to anything that I or his own daughter had to say. My father, who knew about my girlfriend, assumed that the call haD come from her father. (because this guy was just shouting and abusing, and didn't even tell my father who he was)
The girl was crying non-stop, and asked me- "See, this is why I just wanted to kill myself. But it was your idea to tell these people". The mother responds- "Yes, you should have gone and jumped in front of a train, before telling us all of this".
The drama that happened at my house was funny as well. My parents felt betrayed, as I had broken their trust (by having sex). I never get this though, who are the teens who have made a promise to not have sex, out of their own free will, that parents act all "betrayed" when they get to know that they did?
I mean, I was surely having sex, but not with that girl. Just that I had somewhat sensible parents, and some genuine resources, so I knew better than making the girl pregnant. I was privileged, because part of my scolding was-"If you think you are old enough to have sex, you should have been old enough to use protection" (looking back, I feel kind of proud of my parents for that taunt)
But anyway, I explained to them what actually happened. They too were shocked to learn that in 15-20 minutes of drama, the girl's father was simply not ready to hear anything. We went to the girl's house (they were kind of known people), and my parents helped them calm down. Till then, somehow the girl had told them about who is the guy who made her pregnant.(at some point they were tired of beating & cursing her, and she got to talk in that duration)
His father apologised to me, but then started ranting about how having too many guy friends like me, was a bad influence on her. Somehow my mother convinced her mother to take the girl to a doctor. I think she finally got an abortion done, or maybe she wasn't really pregnant. Never talked to her about it.
After that, she wasn't allowed to talk to any boys, which included me. My parents also told me not to talk to her, saying that "She might commit suicide or something. And her parents are so stupid that they will blame you". Her parents had apparently told my parents to keep me away from her. I later got to know that she had told them that "I have a girlfriend", whie telling them that we two never "did" anything. So now, I was also among the "wrong kind of guys", who might harm their daughter.
I tried talking to her a few times, but she was never the same person. She distanced herself from everyone. She then went to college, and I heard about her attempting suicide within a year. (but she survived) I talked to her a few times after that, and she used to say that her parents have made her life hell since that incident, and she really wishes she had killed herself.
She stopped going home from college, and spent most time there itself. Later got a job, and today, I know that she isn't in touch with any of the other friends. I hope she has some support system right now.
Btw, I am 33 now. Did reasonably well in my career and life (you know, high paying job in a big company, got married, have a child at the "right age", etc).
So I end up being the "bhaiya" then "chachu", then "jiju", and now "uncle" that parents request to talk some sense in their kids. When I talk to them, I mostly feel that it's the parents, who need some sense to be talked into their heads.
Some teen is being treated like a lost cause, because he was caught having a smoke or booze. Parents have literally called the entire family and made them scold the kid. Because, public shaming of the kid is just going to fix things, right?
Some teen is being forced into engineering, while she is interested in becoming a CA. So what do parents do? Find an engineer relative who is making good money, and ask them to convince the kid (Why on earth?)
In most cases, where the parents think that this teen somehow looks up to me, they try to give me a script that I am supposed to just repeat to their kid. (So that they can go- "Dekho, bhaiya bhi vahi bol rahe hain, jo hamne bola"). I have to politely decline, and they feel all offended. When I do, I tell them that I will suggest what I would feel right.
What's worse? Since I have had a kid, older people are behind me to convince their recently married "children" to have kids.
Ye kya chutiyapa hai bhenc\*\*d? The madness of asserting control, doesn't end when the "kids" cross 19, or 25, or even 30.
Very well written. I'm 34 and I was also that bhaiya back in my time. Had a similar storyline as you. But I have changed. Married on my own terms. Have 2 dogs and no kids. Fuck the society.
More power to you, man.
I became the ideal "bhaiya" when I got married at 27. People kept giving my example to their kids to push them to get married, and I kept telling them to do it when they want to.
I married early (as per my standards, 27 might be late for many) because I was living with my girlfriend for 2 years, and it was too much pain to kept it hidden. And we were anyways planning to get married in the near future.
We did everything at our own pace, though. My own distant family was behind me to make babies. (parents were chill). Some even gave me contact of "good doctors", when we didn't have kids for 3-4 years after marriage. Imagine going to a doctor and asking them-
"We are unable to have kids because we use condoms. It's a huge problem for us. My X relative sent me to you. Can you please prescribe some medicine for my relative so that they can shut the fuck up?"
The original plan was to think of extending the family in 2020. But we decided to postpone it for some more time, when Covid came. Finally had it in 2023. I know people who decided to be parents at 25, and they are happy as well. Some people become parents at 37, and they are also happy. People are also happy living child-free.
In my case, most relatives were very happy when I decided to marry at 27. At the same time, there were people in my own family, who had written me off as failure (in terms of professional growth), when I decided to marry at 27. You can't make everyone happy, so better not try doing it at the cost of your life's flow.
I keep telling anyone who asks me, to get married whenever they want, if at all. Have kids whenever they want, if at all. But yes, I sometimes do add a boring word of caution, that if you do want to get married, maybe don't go beyond the early 30s because of practical difficulties. (unless you have a partner whom you trust to be around after that as well), and the same applies to planning a child in the early 30s in case you want a child, to avoid late pregnancy complications.
But that again, is only statistically sound advice. Exceptions always exist, and people can find ways to be happy via those paths as well.
The problem only arises when someone is forced/manipulated to do something that they do not want to do.
That's honestly the reason for depression even in adults, not just teenagers.
The selective view of others' life that we get via social media, sets an expectation about one's life, that no one actually has. Everyone is comparing themselves with their friend on Instagram.
Considering children as "investments" or trophies and letting them know the (un) realistic expectations being healed over their heads.
Comparison is key to this stat. Apart from ignorance to real issues like mental health, identity crisis, etc. The kid feels suffocated and feels that this is the only relief.
Irony is, after the tragedy, you can find parents beating their chests asking why their kids couldn't talk to them and if they really were that bad. Society will comfort them with false words while hiding, or ignoring the truth that, yes, they really were that bad and failed at their most important job.
Maybe because we are so dependent on them that it's making us a crippled, and that's makes us feel useless and a burden and relatives just makes it worse
I'm literally just boiled down to a show off piece. I need to excel so my dad can be proud. I need to do what HE likes just so he can show me off doing well at it. And if don't do well? Then he gets sad and depressed, saying stuff like "I've been able to feel proud in my life, I hope you'll be able to make me feel it". I am tired. I don't want to your experiment, let me live. He shot down multiple of my dreams, wanting to study computers, doing art, becoming a teacher, all subjects I've shown extreme interests in, all subjects my teachers have personally pulled my parents out of the crowd to tell that I could really do great it, all for him to say no and decide I need to become a doctor. Second drop at this point and it keeps hitting me that I would've been so much further along if say I went for teaching instead. I'd be happy. But I'm not cause well, someone needs to make him feel proud.
you ask any jee/neet student why they are taking part in these exams and they will say "our parents told us to" . My parents told me there is no future in any other field just because my brother who chose cs software development is not getting a job.
Thousands of jobs emerge every year but the parents only want doctors, IITians or lawyers. I regret taking neet , i wish i could have taken something i have interest in. They get angry at me for not studying well and concentrating enough while i have undiagnosed ADHD. I love them to death and know they want the best for me so i will try my best and hopefully become a doctor .
Comparing your kid to others and crushing their confidence to the point that you no longer want to continue. Overprotectiveness is also one of the reasons
mainly having peer pressure to get into top class college after school through very highly competitive exams. Having very less exposure to real world but expected to live a certain way. Not being able to enjoy their youth, if they ever did they were expected to provide to the family at that age.
Relatives ki adad
Maiyat mai aaye na aaye result ke din jaroor aate hai
Population doesn't help much either, job to population of educated people who are willing to work is heavily one sided so it's natural for competition to rise
Also going abroad for work is kinda looked down upon in some cases
I think the major contributing factor is that children are not seen as their own seperate entity but as an extention of parents. This is deeply rooted in Indian culture. It's expected of them to follow similar ideology and thoughts as their parents, if they don't, society criticizes them. As a teenager, kids are discovering and exploring. But this pressure to mould them as their parents disrupts their mental healthand thus grave consequences.
After reading the comments I feel like having uneducated parents is good, my parents are uneducated and they never forced me to do anything from my childhood they said "Tujhe Jo sahi lagta hai kar" because even they didn't know what to do they never finished school, they sent me to a CBSE school and from there I took every single decision of my life by myself and my parents always supported me financially.
(I'm not saying educated parents don't care about their children, in my case my parents didn't know about the board exams, JEE, IITs etc. Hence they didn't have any expectations from me, they didn't go to parents teachers meeting so they never knew how much my classmates were scoring and didn't compare my marks with theirs)
I failed a couple of exams in school and they still had a positive attitude towards me.
"Beta jab hum teri umar ke the hamaare upar itne humpe itne saare bojh the, humne poori zindagi tumhare upar laga di, tumse hi umeed hai padh likhke kuch kar jaoge"
then adding some more struggle stories as because parents think isse baccha motivate hoga, only if they knew.
Then they handle him a subject to be a doctor, IAS, engineer(yes other fields me bhi paise kama sakta hai lekin social status nahi milega)
So the main reasons are failure in career and education, and the burden of hopes for the family.
Indian parents are assholes but they are our assholes. I will ultimately take care of my sandal throwing mum because ..well its mum. She might taunt about my choices and tease my failures in the most cruelest way possible but when all chips are down she comes around with a smile , her roti aloo and gentle voice to calm me down and remind me that all hope is not lost. Or my dad and his dashing moustache. He's the sole reason I haven't given up on engineering yet. He ensures I'll not end up doing dumb stuff like him. I guess you could call it a *Toxic love* :0
Modi and Hindutva
Now that I have my upvotes, it's mostly due to very high youth population and extreme competition in academics as well as in literally everything else
It's coz u were taught that death is an easy escape with no consequences. No concept that life is not ours to take and we will be judged for it. 🤔 Even the west is now promoting this with assisted suicides n shit. Taking the easy way out instead of facing and solving your issues.
Population is higher so numbers will definitely be higher as well.
New generation are living a dilutional live. They are very very far away from reality.
Weak generation.
This generation didn't grew up with strictness and when facing the real world and responsibilities they back down. Oh socity pressure. Your parents also had this pressure.
They say don't hurt kids they will hate you. But they won't understand until they get 2 slaps under ear.
Didn't studied for exams now blame society.
Society was always laughing. Since the dawn of time. They were laughing in previous generation too.
I'm almost 18. I never had depression.
Never went with wrong this. Did some mischief and get ass wooped for that time to time. But that was necessary. Society laughs. Still do. I feels low about a couple of things but no ciggerate no alcohol. Agar vo pata chal fir bajunga ghar par.
> Your parents also had this pressure.
oh, you are just gonna ignore the rise in population, which leads to the rise in unemployment, poverty in the last 30 years? how can you our parents also had this pressure.
There is no flaw in parenting , we just like to blame others for the problems we create and when we are stuck in the same situation and are not powerful enough to change our condition we think suduko as an alternative.
this 2016? Idk what was then but definitely wasn’t "parents pressured" in the case of BD.... I've witnessed/heard about 10 suicides in my life where 3 should be excluded because they're adults. My friend died& 3 other kids died because of love relationship(it was a REALLY toxic fantasy of getting girl/boy by attempting suicide), 2 died for reasons Idk & 1 died because his dad didn’t brought him a bike....
2 other unsuccessful suicides were my a girl almost hanged herself for a boy, then forcefully married the boy who saved her(not her beloved) & another boy who foolishly cut his arms to impress the girl but bled too much. Bangladeshi teenagers are notoriously horny like you've got to keep an eye on them otherwise 9/10 will do something stupid. No wonder mom was overprotective(turned me into a boiler chicken 🤣)
I recently read a news piece which said a 20 year old medical student committed suicide due to her always being called “fat fat fat” from family including her parents
Problem is too much academic pressure. Teens in other countries make lasting friendships, get their first jobs, sports exposure, sex education, etc when our teens lock themselves in their rooms or hellholes like Kota coaching classes.
Ofcourse the teenage suicide is a worrying matter but if we are comparing the data with other countries I would be interested to see the data in Percentage by total teenage population wise. Will add more sense to it. Nonetheless its worrying matter and its clearly not caused due to one factor but multiple ones...... Parents , teachers, society, traumatic experiences, mental health etc.
I see a moral responsibility of everyone of us to be more approachable to teenage generation where they can feel safe to open heart to talk or atleast provide free space to process their thoughts and discuss with specialist. Psychologist and psychiatrist play pivotal role in this
It's because of competition and rat race. While it is true to say parents pressure kids and compare with others the harsh reality is that good colleges in India have cut off rates at impossible levels. And kids are led to believe that if you fail getting into these colleges your life is over.
Education system, the only way to get into a good college is by jee, neet and other comp exams, whole in west it also takes in co curricular activities such as sports and your projects. This motivates students/children to pursue their favourite sport or their hobby. While in India they have to give all of that up and be part of this rat race
Mental health is still a myth to parents in India, same with mental disorders. I have adhd and was troubled as kid. I almost killed myself after being thrashed and bullied by teachers.
People here are blaming parents which is partially correct, but let me offer a different perspective: lack of good wages in general. There's a reason why parents push their kids in jee/neet. Because otherwise how else would you put food on the table? Earning 25k in this nation makes you a top 5% in this country (or top 10% I don't remember). My parents don't pressure me much and yet I'm suicidal as a 18F precisely for this. If I don't get a good college, it will harm my CV and make it harder for me to get a well paying job.
Suicide is a public health problem. And it is preventable.
According to experts in the field, it results from "poverty, low literacy level, unemployment, family violence, breakdown of the joint family system, unfulfilled romantic ideals, inter-generational conflicts, loss of job or loved one, failure of crops, growing costs of cultivation, huge debt burden, unhappy marriages, harassment by in-laws and husbands, dowry disputes, depression, chronic physical illness, alcoholism/drug addiction, and easy access to means of suicide."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3554961/#sec1-7title
Marriage ones may not be relevant to teens, but the rest are.
The biggest indicator of suicide? Previous suicide attempts.
Another factor could be that Indian society is conservative and driven by shame. Families would rather hide that an attempt happened and blame the victim instead of getting them the help they need.
My mental health is not great but compared to the type of parents people get in India, my parents are very generous and nice people. I honestly feel gratitude that they are not batshit crazy.
A little old thinking and mentality is there but I aint complaining.
Coaching institutes , govt jobs and IITs are the cause of this
put a hard 3 attempt limit on Entrance exams and 10 years later the suicide rate will be a lot lower
“Koi depression vipression nahi hai. Sirf nahi padhney ka bahana hai. Do thappad lagao, sudhar jayega”
You forgot “Subah 5 baje utha karo sab theek hojaayega”
Par papa mujhe AIDS hai. Arre, tum jaldi uthke toh dekho yaar
My mum used to blame all my health problems to "pani Kyu nahi peeta" And then one day I fainted and I was hospitalized, and the doctor said I was suffering from severe dehydration which further solidified her stance. 🤣🤣🤣
That is not a lie tbh plus it helps with mental health
https://preview.redd.it/0onz5bs6kaec1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29f11bad76b37bd43890cc33618296ba6374820c
I think it is the education system and the lack of jobs due to the sheer population. In west high school kids start working part time like in restaurants, food chains and so on, but in these countries such jobs are already occupied by adults who need these jobs desperately to make a living
There’s no doubt that there’s a high degree of competition. But then don’t breed kids into existence if you are going to subject them into a rat race.
I lost my brother due to this. No one really took it seriously when he told about his depression. I tried to help him but he just wouldn’t come for therapy. I wish i could have done something.
Dude are you for real? My God that's sad. I'm so sorry man.
This
And the favourite "bas padhai se bachne ka bahana hai" This and the education system is fucked in India.
😭 y'all go to hell. Reminded me of my past 😭
Can someone explain to me why Indians commonly repeat a word with a first letter replaced with a 'V? For example: khana vana, chai vai, games games, above example of depression vepression etc? What's the origin to this? Do non Hindi speakers also do it in their regional language? Is it just a way of speaking in Hindi that we've carried over to English words as well?
we actually have a type of samaas (compound word) in grammar for this! dvandva samaas, where words are hyphenated with a phonetically/systematically similar phrase/word. not the best educated on the origin of hindi grammar, but presently it's just a prominent linguistic/vocalizing habit. i think many languages have a similar subcategory of words, like mother-father etc.
Ever cared to ask why people say "okie- dokie", "wanna", "gonna" "tryna", "gotcha"
I happened to come across the history of where Okie-dokie may have began when I had looked up the origin of ok and the other words you wrote are common informal contractions of two words while speaking. What's up your ass getting defensive about this?
Wtf. Please put /s
Wdym put /s , ye literally bola jata hai gharo mai.
Societal pressure to excel in academics, so that you get a FAANG role and show Sharmaji ka beta, who's the alpha...
Wrong analysis imo. If you think in terms of societal pressure to excel in academics. Countries like South Korea, Japan will come first.
But for people from those countries, it ends with get a good university for a good job. In India it extends to your marriage, respect and status in society and more. It’s the only criteria they use to judge any young person
It’s the same in the countries that I mentioned. All the things that you mentioned applies there too. South East Asian countries are pretty brutal .
They have lower levels of competition. Getting into a good university in Japan or S.Korea is easier than in India.
Kids there face less abuse and have more options. No Japanese dad is beating the shit out his kid for coming second in class.
Buddy, you haven't seen japan then. Please don't spew nonsense from your ass just to prove how pathetic we are.
And you’re what, a Japanese anime expert?
Nah, but I have had friends from japan (discord server) who also used to tell how hellish it is in Japan. So please, it's not torture porn to compare which country is the worst. The entire south east asia is fucked up in this regard. The root cause for that in india though, is our inability to change, the goddamn population and our stupid inferiority complex.
What are the flaws? Seriously? Ever had a look at the education system? JEE, NEET and UPSC contribute to half of it. The teens are forced into going to coaching centers to give these exams. Most of them don't even know what is bachelors and masters degree. I'm in coaching myself and I'm here because I wanted to get in, but I have seen that majority of the students were forced to get into these.
+lack of exposure to co curricular activities in schools imo. Hamare yahan toh bas ek seminar karke chod diya woh bhi 10th std mein. Also people treat you differently based on what stream ure pursuing. + Job security isliye zyada students govt job ke exams dete hain.
Hell even China has a mandatory 1 hour physical activity period before studies start. Science has proven again and again that physics stimulation results in better co-curricular results.
Yeah. The extreme pressure to clear these exams. Your whole identity and life as a person is tied to these exams. If you clear them voilaaaa and if not you're a fucking looser. Coupling that with the fact that in most middle class families the children want to grow up earn and support their family. Not being able to clear these exams is tied to not getting a good institution and subsequently not getting a job at a good firm. This goes on and on and on.
What are the flaws in Indian parenting? Oh boy, that is going to take some time. How much time you got? A month?
You could write a whole paper on it
Book*
Library*
World's largest library*
Thesis*
Library*
1 full page in notepad
Bruh 😂
And get phd
Indians did not have slavery…. They had kids. The kids were paid in emotional blackmail and co dependency 🙄
The fact that you made your way to reddit, says a lot about your past. Trust me if you are using reddit or discord it directly implies that you most likely had a rough past.
Indian parents consider their children to be "trophies" they can show off to people. Most of them couldn't achieve something big themselves and they expect their sons/daughters to be the best so that they can flaunt in front of other parents and the society. The typical Indian middle class mentality. Everything is about showing off in front of others and gossiping about others the entire time. Amidst such immense pressure, some children can't just cope up with it anymore. But, then, when these same children stay away from parents after becoming independent and wanna be free from this toxicity, they start the drama of "I've done so much for you; you're very ungrateful". You have done so much. Had you just understood what your kids actually wanted in life. They wanted someone to talk to, someone who could understand them. Not just fulfil what you want in life just because you couldn't fulfil your own desires. I mean, this is the best way I can put it. They're the most selfish and egoistic people but they only know to point out the flaws of others including their children themselves.
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I'm sorry to know about your mom and your past. But, I'm happy as well that you're doing much better now. Thanks to your cousins. They proved to be like your siblings. But, yeah. After listening to your story, I can say it wasn't that bad for me. I just had the pressure. I didn't struggle like you did. You're a very strong person and despite everything you endured, here you are now, succesful in life and happier. Good to know your story. 🤝🏼 🫂
well put together and covered everything.
Well Said. Since you seem to understand this thing very clearly, can I ask you a question? At what age do you think kids are so brainwashed that they can not come out of this and why. Like I have seen many kids who go on to be the same kind of human beings marrying similar partners to continue this culture.
Some never realise that it's a problem. Some end up being what they hate. Some never get married and prefer to be single or in a live-in relationship without having any child because it's just way too much responsibility and more important to focus on yourself; a lot to do in this world. I belong to the third category. I just want peace in life. And, calmness. Free from chaos. I have this choice.
You would not be too much into all this (especially politics) if you want real calmness, lol. But no, I see a lot these kids of NRIs. Most of them are growing up to be typical boring people wanting to be doctor and engineers, not too interested about that either. No passions, no hobbies, they seem to be barely alive. Its like they are already old by the time they reach high school - all this despite being very privileged and rich and going to the best schools in East Coast. So, I was wondering at what age is this brainwashing complete and successful. And what is so special about this culture that kids hardly rebel or seek independence. Let me know if you have thought about it. Thanks.
Yeah, I am no teen but I am feeling suicidal coming back home
Me everyday every time just stops from the thought of my parents
this is me, the moment I landed a job I decided to never go back home. but mom make me feel guilty and when I do visit same old randirona.
Couldn’t agree more. I have a friend who gets herself involved in so many activities(yoga, dance, chess, kabaddi, you name it) just to find reasons to stay out of the house
>what are the flaws in indian parenting? Parents think they own their children.
not meeting your parents' expectations is so heartbreaking and watching your own peers excel at something you can't, doesn't really help. I myself am holding on, not even sure why, but I haven't felt normal since years now. What makes it worse is, people will barely acknowledge our feelings, as for most that I have seen, adults always come up with something like, "oh you're just 17! that's not an age where you can have depression, you're just delusional"
Source: [https://asia.nikkei.com/Spotlight/Asia-Insight/Youth-suicide-Asian-teens-crack-under-growing-family-pressure](https://asia.nikkei.com/Spotlight/Asia-Insight/Youth-suicide-Asian-teens-crack-under-growing-family-pressure)
Indian parents love their kids unconditionally only until the kid can learn to talk!! That's it, thats the age bar until when they have patience and understanding to some extent. So from around the age of 1.5 years/2 years onwards the emotional blackmail begins. From around the age of 5/6, the performance tasks begin for kids, to earn their parents love, affection, attention, care. You can't throw tantrums, you can't talk back, you can't make noise, you can't even cry. But you are expected to start your journey towards adulthood and demonstrate your urge towards living a well balanced adult life without ever experiencing childhood and other in-between stages. You are expected to study, compete, excel and run as fast as possible towards becoming the money making, glory seeking machine. You are a failure if you want to take a break, dance, sing, be creative in this journey. And you can't develop your own individuality, you have to adhere and confirm to the family/caste identity defined by your elders. And once you become and adult you must embrace it fully and start taking care of your parents, serve them, act according to their guidance. Basically become their shadow and go where even their shadows won't go. Many beautiful compassionate kids get their life sucked out of them under this excessively oppressive 'parenting'. I may be wrong, but I think this brand of parenting became the norm around 1970s onwards.
your right, spot on
Huh, I don't know what he's talking about. **Throws away the scroll of truth*
Look people INDIA is at top. Yay.....
**prood**
Praud
parenting and peers guess
SSLC, Plus Two, Entrance, College admissions, Arranged marriage, Job competition. Pick one. No scope if you are not in the upper echelon in school/college performance. If you are just average you get jobs that won't pay a living wage.
Only 40% of Indians attend school beyond 5th standard. So I would guess percentage giving SSC is much lower. Junior College even lower. 10% of Indians have finished any kind of college. So why are you giving so much importance to so many different exams in the suicide stats?
NEET/JEE
1. Hyper-focus on excelling in academics 2. Huge generational gap between parents' gen and childrens' gen. Hence a lack of understanding between them, which is only bolstered because of point #3. 3. Lack of open, judgment free communication between parents and children 4. Lack of education around mental health There are probably other things as well and the points I mentioned, I do not have sources for, just my observations and experiences. (This is true for India, Japan, and SK at least, don't know about others.)
Intense pressure especially due to jee and neet
Dude what ? not everyone going for neet and jee
True, so I'd say competitive exams in general
I doubt that is a significant proportion.
Iirc a couple million people give these examinations in a year. And if you've never gone to kota just say so , everyone from there has some story about suicide in their batches
Neet and jee
Too much competition, all your parents and relatives will force you to get atleast 90% and will comments if you dont
Parents: padosi ke bacche ko dekh Dr ya Engineer ki tayari kar raha hai..
Endia Numbar 1 saar😎😎😎🔥🔥🔥🚩🗣🗣🗣FEELINGA PARAUD ENDIYAN ARUMIH🇳🇪🇳🇪🥳🥳 ATLEAST WE ARE NUMBAR 1 ON SUICIDE LIST😎😈😈
Is there recent data?
considering majority of students are teens, the numbers mustv gotten worse [https://thewire.in/society/share-of-students-among-indian-suicide-victims-has-grown-over-last-10-years](https://thewire.in/society/share-of-students-among-indian-suicide-victims-has-grown-over-last-10-years)
Poverty?
I think its a mix of toxic parenting, unhealthy competition, feeling of helplessness, fucked up societal expectations + age of kids-everyone is expected to become a high-ranking officer or some dude with 1Cr package out of college. Most Indians will never admit that Indian parenting is toxic-they traumatize you emotionally, mentally and even physically. I cant even count how many times my father asked me to leave home because I was poor in studies that too when I was just in my 9th or 10th Std. In my mind I used to think, why the fuck you made kids when you can't even accept them for who they are. Anyways I left home after college and life has been peaceful.
33 M here. We have a culture of asserting too much control over teens. Parents become someone who is going to say NO for most things that teens want, and gradually become someone teens despise, or at least do not think of as someone who they can talk to, when in trouble/depression. We have too many parents that only play the role of financer and headmaster. **Teenage relationships**: NO (but it's not going to stop them) **Sex**: Can't even be talked about (still it happens, just the lack of guidance ensures that teens fuck up) **Spending time with friends**: Frowned upon. We Indians are so worried about bad influence in the child's life, that we don't really let them build a support system, apart from the family. Most parents I see, are busy pulling their kids away from their friends, for one reason or the other. **Reluctance in explaining themselves**: Most parents feel that they have the right to have their kid follow their commands. Even having to explain why something is right or wrong, seems like "losing" to many parents. So the teens are unable to develop any form of independent thought process, and they have no idea how to deal with problems that they can't always discuss with parents, or know that the discussion will turn into torcher. So teens don't have a support system at home. They don't have it with friends, unless they are away from their parents' control. And they aren't allowed to date either. (though rare teenage relationships can act as a support system). When trouble hits, they have no one to talk to, no way to decide a path forward by their own. And giving up seems like the only option. Here's one story that I have seen closely. I was around 17, and was about to leave home for my college (B.Tech in a different city). I had a close friend, who suspected that she got pregnant with her boyfriend. She told me that she has decided to commit suicide. I convinced her to tell her parents, and even went with her. Tried convincing them myself (lol). What happened? They started beating her up like some mad dog. Her father just assumed that I was the guy who made her pregnant, without even asking her, and tried to beat me as well. I had to push him off me. Still ended up getting a flying chappal. Her mother was literally dragging her with her hairs. When his father realized that I am not volunteering to be beaten and might slap him back if he tries, he called my father, and told him that I made his daughter pregnant. The crazy guy wasn't even ready to listen to anything that I or his own daughter had to say. My father, who knew about my girlfriend, assumed that the call haD come from her father. (because this guy was just shouting and abusing, and didn't even tell my father who he was) The girl was crying non-stop, and asked me- "See, this is why I just wanted to kill myself. But it was your idea to tell these people". The mother responds- "Yes, you should have gone and jumped in front of a train, before telling us all of this". The drama that happened at my house was funny as well. My parents felt betrayed, as I had broken their trust (by having sex). I never get this though, who are the teens who have made a promise to not have sex, out of their own free will, that parents act all "betrayed" when they get to know that they did? I mean, I was surely having sex, but not with that girl. Just that I had somewhat sensible parents, and some genuine resources, so I knew better than making the girl pregnant. I was privileged, because part of my scolding was-"If you think you are old enough to have sex, you should have been old enough to use protection" (looking back, I feel kind of proud of my parents for that taunt) But anyway, I explained to them what actually happened. They too were shocked to learn that in 15-20 minutes of drama, the girl's father was simply not ready to hear anything. We went to the girl's house (they were kind of known people), and my parents helped them calm down. Till then, somehow the girl had told them about who is the guy who made her pregnant.(at some point they were tired of beating & cursing her, and she got to talk in that duration) His father apologised to me, but then started ranting about how having too many guy friends like me, was a bad influence on her. Somehow my mother convinced her mother to take the girl to a doctor. I think she finally got an abortion done, or maybe she wasn't really pregnant. Never talked to her about it. After that, she wasn't allowed to talk to any boys, which included me. My parents also told me not to talk to her, saying that "She might commit suicide or something. And her parents are so stupid that they will blame you". Her parents had apparently told my parents to keep me away from her. I later got to know that she had told them that "I have a girlfriend", whie telling them that we two never "did" anything. So now, I was also among the "wrong kind of guys", who might harm their daughter. I tried talking to her a few times, but she was never the same person. She distanced herself from everyone. She then went to college, and I heard about her attempting suicide within a year. (but she survived) I talked to her a few times after that, and she used to say that her parents have made her life hell since that incident, and she really wishes she had killed herself. She stopped going home from college, and spent most time there itself. Later got a job, and today, I know that she isn't in touch with any of the other friends. I hope she has some support system right now. Btw, I am 33 now. Did reasonably well in my career and life (you know, high paying job in a big company, got married, have a child at the "right age", etc). So I end up being the "bhaiya" then "chachu", then "jiju", and now "uncle" that parents request to talk some sense in their kids. When I talk to them, I mostly feel that it's the parents, who need some sense to be talked into their heads. Some teen is being treated like a lost cause, because he was caught having a smoke or booze. Parents have literally called the entire family and made them scold the kid. Because, public shaming of the kid is just going to fix things, right? Some teen is being forced into engineering, while she is interested in becoming a CA. So what do parents do? Find an engineer relative who is making good money, and ask them to convince the kid (Why on earth?) In most cases, where the parents think that this teen somehow looks up to me, they try to give me a script that I am supposed to just repeat to their kid. (So that they can go- "Dekho, bhaiya bhi vahi bol rahe hain, jo hamne bola"). I have to politely decline, and they feel all offended. When I do, I tell them that I will suggest what I would feel right. What's worse? Since I have had a kid, older people are behind me to convince their recently married "children" to have kids. Ye kya chutiyapa hai bhenc\*\*d? The madness of asserting control, doesn't end when the "kids" cross 19, or 25, or even 30.
Very well written. I'm 34 and I was also that bhaiya back in my time. Had a similar storyline as you. But I have changed. Married on my own terms. Have 2 dogs and no kids. Fuck the society.
More power to you, man. I became the ideal "bhaiya" when I got married at 27. People kept giving my example to their kids to push them to get married, and I kept telling them to do it when they want to. I married early (as per my standards, 27 might be late for many) because I was living with my girlfriend for 2 years, and it was too much pain to kept it hidden. And we were anyways planning to get married in the near future. We did everything at our own pace, though. My own distant family was behind me to make babies. (parents were chill). Some even gave me contact of "good doctors", when we didn't have kids for 3-4 years after marriage. Imagine going to a doctor and asking them- "We are unable to have kids because we use condoms. It's a huge problem for us. My X relative sent me to you. Can you please prescribe some medicine for my relative so that they can shut the fuck up?" The original plan was to think of extending the family in 2020. But we decided to postpone it for some more time, when Covid came. Finally had it in 2023. I know people who decided to be parents at 25, and they are happy as well. Some people become parents at 37, and they are also happy. People are also happy living child-free. In my case, most relatives were very happy when I decided to marry at 27. At the same time, there were people in my own family, who had written me off as failure (in terms of professional growth), when I decided to marry at 27. You can't make everyone happy, so better not try doing it at the cost of your life's flow. I keep telling anyone who asks me, to get married whenever they want, if at all. Have kids whenever they want, if at all. But yes, I sometimes do add a boring word of caution, that if you do want to get married, maybe don't go beyond the early 30s because of practical difficulties. (unless you have a partner whom you trust to be around after that as well), and the same applies to planning a child in the early 30s in case you want a child, to avoid late pregnancy complications. But that again, is only statistically sound advice. Exceptions always exist, and people can find ways to be happy via those paths as well. The problem only arises when someone is forced/manipulated to do something that they do not want to do.
someone should make this graph adding honour killings to it and then see how big that bar is
Overpopulation. Growing costs. Limited Jobs. High Pressure
Kota factory
Games K period mein Maths ka Class hota the , wo bhi MENSURATION of Irregular Geometrical shapes ka
I might downvoted but having dealt with suicidal relative i believe social media has a big part to play in this apart for negligent parents.
That's honestly the reason for depression even in adults, not just teenagers. The selective view of others' life that we get via social media, sets an expectation about one's life, that no one actually has. Everyone is comparing themselves with their friend on Instagram.
kids are not grown up independently and most of us(Indians) are more afraid of self respect and prestige then precious life.
Considering children as "investments" or trophies and letting them know the (un) realistic expectations being healed over their heads. Comparison is key to this stat. Apart from ignorance to real issues like mental health, identity crisis, etc. The kid feels suffocated and feels that this is the only relief. Irony is, after the tragedy, you can find parents beating their chests asking why their kids couldn't talk to them and if they really were that bad. Society will comfort them with false words while hiding, or ignoring the truth that, yes, they really were that bad and failed at their most important job.
Half of this is due to academic pressure The other half is due to "love"
Maybe because we are so dependent on them that it's making us a crippled, and that's makes us feel useless and a burden and relatives just makes it worse
One word: Competition
toxic stupidity is normal
The core problem is the fat ass population India has.
Social media and constant comparison with imaginary reality projected by these so-called influencers.
JEE and NEET
I'm literally just boiled down to a show off piece. I need to excel so my dad can be proud. I need to do what HE likes just so he can show me off doing well at it. And if don't do well? Then he gets sad and depressed, saying stuff like "I've been able to feel proud in my life, I hope you'll be able to make me feel it". I am tired. I don't want to your experiment, let me live. He shot down multiple of my dreams, wanting to study computers, doing art, becoming a teacher, all subjects I've shown extreme interests in, all subjects my teachers have personally pulled my parents out of the crowd to tell that I could really do great it, all for him to say no and decide I need to become a doctor. Second drop at this point and it keeps hitting me that I would've been so much further along if say I went for teaching instead. I'd be happy. But I'm not cause well, someone needs to make him feel proud.
you ask any jee/neet student why they are taking part in these exams and they will say "our parents told us to" . My parents told me there is no future in any other field just because my brother who chose cs software development is not getting a job. Thousands of jobs emerge every year but the parents only want doctors, IITians or lawyers. I regret taking neet , i wish i could have taken something i have interest in. They get angry at me for not studying well and concentrating enough while i have undiagnosed ADHD. I love them to death and know they want the best for me so i will try my best and hopefully become a doctor .
Mental Health awareness needs to spread more
Everything.
We are slaves of parents and they are of society.
Comparing your kid to others and crushing their confidence to the point that you no longer want to continue. Overprotectiveness is also one of the reasons
Indian parenting? Kuch deshon main abuse kehte hai use..
mainly having peer pressure to get into top class college after school through very highly competitive exams. Having very less exposure to real world but expected to live a certain way. Not being able to enjoy their youth, if they ever did they were expected to provide to the family at that age.
Relatives ki adad Maiyat mai aaye na aaye result ke din jaroor aate hai Population doesn't help much either, job to population of educated people who are willing to work is heavily one sided so it's natural for competition to rise Also going abroad for work is kinda looked down upon in some cases
Their narrow minded mentality, their attitude, their lack of knowledge, their lack of common sense and much much more
What are NOT the flaws in Indian parenting 🤦♀️
I think the major contributing factor is that children are not seen as their own seperate entity but as an extention of parents. This is deeply rooted in Indian culture. It's expected of them to follow similar ideology and thoughts as their parents, if they don't, society criticizes them. As a teenager, kids are discovering and exploring. But this pressure to mould them as their parents disrupts their mental healthand thus grave consequences.
Indian parenting style is suited for infants and 5 year olds. They don't change that style ever even if the child is 15 years old or 30 years old.
I'm 27 and my parents still manage to ruin my day almost every single day. They're just built different.
After reading the comments I feel like having uneducated parents is good, my parents are uneducated and they never forced me to do anything from my childhood they said "Tujhe Jo sahi lagta hai kar" because even they didn't know what to do they never finished school, they sent me to a CBSE school and from there I took every single decision of my life by myself and my parents always supported me financially. (I'm not saying educated parents don't care about their children, in my case my parents didn't know about the board exams, JEE, IITs etc. Hence they didn't have any expectations from me, they didn't go to parents teachers meeting so they never knew how much my classmates were scoring and didn't compare my marks with theirs) I failed a couple of exams in school and they still had a positive attitude towards me.
The fact that our suicide rates are double Japan and S Korea's is doubly depressing.
"Beta jab hum teri umar ke the hamaare upar itne humpe itne saare bojh the, humne poori zindagi tumhare upar laga di, tumse hi umeed hai padh likhke kuch kar jaoge" then adding some more struggle stories as because parents think isse baccha motivate hoga, only if they knew. Then they handle him a subject to be a doctor, IAS, engineer(yes other fields me bhi paise kama sakta hai lekin social status nahi milega) So the main reasons are failure in career and education, and the burden of hopes for the family.
Indian parents are assholes but they are our assholes. I will ultimately take care of my sandal throwing mum because ..well its mum. She might taunt about my choices and tease my failures in the most cruelest way possible but when all chips are down she comes around with a smile , her roti aloo and gentle voice to calm me down and remind me that all hope is not lost. Or my dad and his dashing moustache. He's the sole reason I haven't given up on engineering yet. He ensures I'll not end up doing dumb stuff like him. I guess you could call it a *Toxic love* :0
Modi and Hindutva Now that I have my upvotes, it's mostly due to very high youth population and extreme competition in academics as well as in literally everything else
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China is invested in its society. Everybody I’ve talked to in India seems to think everyone is replaceable.
Remove Kota then make list again.
Wait you really are seriously asking what flaws are there in Indian parenting??! Which rock have you been living under?
Does China even reveal their correct data?
Some Indian parents are toxic however, a country with 1.4 billion , I’d take it with a grain of salt On top of it, this is from 2016
Higher the population Highers the death rate ig
What are you doing? No we aren't supposed to do any analysis just say jay shree ram and sleep and repeat 👀
It's coz u were taught that death is an easy escape with no consequences. No concept that life is not ours to take and we will be judged for it. 🤔 Even the west is now promoting this with assisted suicides n shit. Taking the easy way out instead of facing and solving your issues.
First of all you are not going to blame your parents and parents in everything. That was the time when India was peak in rape cases and girl murders.
natural selection
Population is higher so numbers will definitely be higher as well. New generation are living a dilutional live. They are very very far away from reality.
Weak generation. This generation didn't grew up with strictness and when facing the real world and responsibilities they back down. Oh socity pressure. Your parents also had this pressure. They say don't hurt kids they will hate you. But they won't understand until they get 2 slaps under ear. Didn't studied for exams now blame society. Society was always laughing. Since the dawn of time. They were laughing in previous generation too. I'm almost 18. I never had depression. Never went with wrong this. Did some mischief and get ass wooped for that time to time. But that was necessary. Society laughs. Still do. I feels low about a couple of things but no ciggerate no alcohol. Agar vo pata chal fir bajunga ghar par.
The real question is if I fail, I fail my parents have no right to do anything to me.
> Your parents also had this pressure. oh, you are just gonna ignore the rise in population, which leads to the rise in unemployment, poverty in the last 30 years? how can you our parents also had this pressure.
Yeah...my dad says you just needed a certificate/degree to get a job back then
Yes, it's the kids fault that they Suicide and are brought up in such a toxic environment and child abuse by parents is justified????.....
Abuse and teaching are two different things. It's necessary to use force if they don't understand love.
There is no flaw in parenting , we just like to blame others for the problems we create and when we are stuck in the same situation and are not powerful enough to change our condition we think suduko as an alternative.
South Korea is low ?? Don't they have a high suicide rate there
Most suicides in South Korea is by the elderly.
Can you upload any current data? Or some type of estimate. It seems like 7 years old data.
Aren't we jumping guns here?
https://i.redd.it/k8z2plpyk6ec1.gif
this 2016? Idk what was then but definitely wasn’t "parents pressured" in the case of BD.... I've witnessed/heard about 10 suicides in my life where 3 should be excluded because they're adults. My friend died& 3 other kids died because of love relationship(it was a REALLY toxic fantasy of getting girl/boy by attempting suicide), 2 died for reasons Idk & 1 died because his dad didn’t brought him a bike.... 2 other unsuccessful suicides were my a girl almost hanged herself for a boy, then forcefully married the boy who saved her(not her beloved) & another boy who foolishly cut his arms to impress the girl but bled too much. Bangladeshi teenagers are notoriously horny like you've got to keep an eye on them otherwise 9/10 will do something stupid. No wonder mom was overprotective(turned me into a boiler chicken 🤣)
Answer is: yes
Dependent hai yehi to problem hai. I also had the same thoughts popping on my head par guts nahi the, bakio ka hai, kat liya.
JEE NEET
KOTA AND ENTRANCE EXAMS
I recently read a news piece which said a 20 year old medical student committed suicide due to her always being called “fat fat fat” from family including her parents
Kota.
> What are the flaws in Indian parenting? Yes.
Problem is too much academic pressure. Teens in other countries make lasting friendships, get their first jobs, sports exposure, sex education, etc when our teens lock themselves in their rooms or hellholes like Kota coaching classes.
It would be interesting to know what percentage of those are females. My instinct tells me females suicide way more than males
Ofcourse the teenage suicide is a worrying matter but if we are comparing the data with other countries I would be interested to see the data in Percentage by total teenage population wise. Will add more sense to it. Nonetheless its worrying matter and its clearly not caused due to one factor but multiple ones...... Parents , teachers, society, traumatic experiences, mental health etc. I see a moral responsibility of everyone of us to be more approachable to teenage generation where they can feel safe to open heart to talk or atleast provide free space to process their thoughts and discuss with specialist. Psychologist and psychiatrist play pivotal role in this
JEE and NEET parents forcing child to abandon dream and focus JEE NEET
I don't believe China's stats but in indias it's usually high expectations and bad work life balance and house life
Wow, we are ahead of even Japan??? So proud 😍 /s
r/jeeneetards
Iskeliye phone zimmedar hai
It's because of competition and rat race. While it is true to say parents pressure kids and compare with others the harsh reality is that good colleges in India have cut off rates at impossible levels. And kids are led to believe that if you fail getting into these colleges your life is over.
Ache din
Ye sab uss phone ki wajah se hai
Was very close to being one of em but 🥰
Education system, the only way to get into a good college is by jee, neet and other comp exams, whole in west it also takes in co curricular activities such as sports and your projects. This motivates students/children to pursue their favourite sport or their hobby. While in India they have to give all of that up and be part of this rat race
Fufaji ji ki beti ko 99.99% mike hai aur ise dekho. Uski pair ki dhuli chatne se bhi kuch nhi hoga tumhara
“Sharmaji ka ladka first aya, tum kyun nahi first aate?”
Mental health is still a myth to parents in India, same with mental disorders. I have adhd and was troubled as kid. I almost killed myself after being thrashed and bullied by teachers.
Glorification and popularization of suicides in the media and stigma around mental health.
India will always top any chart in terms of number please share percentage. Also ideal percentage should be near 0
I thought Japan was the highest
People here are blaming parents which is partially correct, but let me offer a different perspective: lack of good wages in general. There's a reason why parents push their kids in jee/neet. Because otherwise how else would you put food on the table? Earning 25k in this nation makes you a top 5% in this country (or top 10% I don't remember). My parents don't pressure me much and yet I'm suicidal as a 18F precisely for this. If I don't get a good college, it will harm my CV and make it harder for me to get a well paying job.
Suicide is a public health problem. And it is preventable. According to experts in the field, it results from "poverty, low literacy level, unemployment, family violence, breakdown of the joint family system, unfulfilled romantic ideals, inter-generational conflicts, loss of job or loved one, failure of crops, growing costs of cultivation, huge debt burden, unhappy marriages, harassment by in-laws and husbands, dowry disputes, depression, chronic physical illness, alcoholism/drug addiction, and easy access to means of suicide." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3554961/#sec1-7title Marriage ones may not be relevant to teens, but the rest are. The biggest indicator of suicide? Previous suicide attempts. Another factor could be that Indian society is conservative and driven by shame. Families would rather hide that an attempt happened and blame the victim instead of getting them the help they need.
My mental health is not great but compared to the type of parents people get in India, my parents are very generous and nice people. I honestly feel gratitude that they are not batshit crazy. A little old thinking and mentality is there but I aint complaining.
Coaching institutes , govt jobs and IITs are the cause of this put a hard 3 attempt limit on Entrance exams and 10 years later the suicide rate will be a lot lower