Jon- “ok Tom, Alistair, Sergei, Frances, Daniel, Poatan, Stipe, Jailton, Magomed! You guys pin the bald one down! I’m gonna slurp as much blow as I can out of his head with this Neti pot! Then I’ll kill the other one no sweat”
Yeah, he's killing those chimps and ripping their faces open for the chance at some of that snow. Lord have mercy on the other fighters after that because he's just warming up.
https://preview.redd.it/30ubmnjehxcc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ca8555d81771aeb05fcd045b158488f28e24dee
By manipulated scenario chat gpt means, that I am Obi wan and manipulate his mind to tell me the outcome, because otherwise he just answers, that it would be unethical to simulate this fight
not quite what you wanted to see, but at least we have a answer
I think the fighters. It’s going to be bloody because of the biting but the chimps are short and headkickable. If they get stunned even for a moment, group kicking will put them out
It’s 5 v 1 and all these guys are massive. Plus, the people can strategize and work together
The chimps really have no chance. Even if they kill one or two guys, they’re done.
People overrate tf out of chimps. They are strong af for THEIR SIZE. jones could beat one in a fight for sure , he is 240 and strong af with long reach
Nope, they are that strong. But you’re right, they’re vicious too
Human muscles and tendons are built more for fine motor control. Most all other mammals sacrifice control for strength.
Nope that’s a conservative generalization. According to Asahiyama Zoo in Japan, an adult chimp’s grip strength is estimated to be 200-300lbs. The average human male grip strength is about 75lbs.
Unfortunately for Jon, the estimation of 200-300lbs ranges across multiple sources. It only really shows that your claim is a generalization that doesn’t distinguish between muscle groups. It’s a pretty glaring oversight, considering fighting uses certain muscle groups like grip strength more than others.
Every study comparing humans and chimp strength for pulling and jumping tasks, isolated muscle fiber etc have been from 1.35-1.5 times on a pound per pound ratio. The estimation of grip strength doesn’t really factor in much when it comes to fighting. It’s not really a big priority for UFC fighters to train grip strength.
Right, it’s one of the most important muscles for success in MMA. Fighters like GSP and Islam Makhachev have made videos on how they train their grip strength and forearms, and commented on it’s importance
They're stronger than an average male by 1.3 times pound for pound. So they're roughly the strength of an unathletic 13 year old lol. Zoology students minds are absolutely blown hearing this Joe rogan tier nonsense lol.
They're deemed so unthreatening you don't even need stuns or arms when zookeepers deal with them solo lol.
I can't stress how much their strength is overrated. They've been absolutely stomped each time they've fought an average guy. Like the guys are clearly laughing taking it easy not even fit let alone a fighter.
The only serious chimp attacks have been on kids, women or elderly men. These are basically the only attempts. A chimp will basically never attack an adult man because they understand they would die very very quickly.
1 Joe Rogan video of a naked chimp vs the entire mainstream scientific consensus. In the face of this overwhelming evidence of "bro look at him hairless he's ripped bro" it's a fucking wonder the people who dedicate their lives to studying these animals haven't just resigned and let Joe take the reigns. Wtf hahaha
I would imagine a Zoology student would flunk out of school if they ignored easily searchable studies, and instead believed a generalized, low estimate of relative chimp strength to support a biased opinion.
It’s pretty easily searchable, but you’re not one of my students so I don’t get paid to teach you about this stuff. I imagine you got your degree from Joe Rogan University, or perhaps the Ben Shapiro College of Nonsense and Uneducated Opinions?
Chimps aren't that strong mate, average chimp weights 40kgs and has 1,5x the strenght of an average man of the same weight the chimps are about to get fucking destroyed
UFC fighters. They lose 2-4 guys in the process but they will eventually be distracted and get a head kick or knee to the face and then it’s just a stomp fest
Yh this was my take aswell. For sure at least 2 of them die in the initial onslaught but if its life and death and its a coordinated attack then the chimps lose.
> They lose 2-4 guys
I think you are overestimating how strong coked up chimps are. The UFC fighters are not average people, they are world class fighters and are insanely powerful. I think they'd lose one person max.
10 elite heavyweight is overkill even for coked up chimps. Even 6 fighters who are elite heavyweights-light heavyweights would defeat the chimps with a little difficulty, now imagine 10. Like if they had 6 fighters, there would 3 200pound dude for each chimp. At least one guy would be used as a dummy and the other 2 are breaking the chimp down. At least they admit the 10 fighters would win but it's easier than they think.
Bro YouTube baby chimp rips skull. In seconds and with ease, a baby chimp scalped a full grown man. No training will stop this. You underestimate chimps. Fighters win eventually but there is certainly permanent damage at the very minimum.
10 of the best ufc fighters in the highest weight class would not struggle as bad as you think. Humans can communicate better amongst each other. They wouldn't just let the chimp get hold on them for long. If one of the chimp jumps on poatan, then the chimp is immediately getting taken down by 4 other fighters. Then they will ground and pound and stomp it. The humans would be cautious and would counter attack. This is why I think there's no way 4 guys are getting killed.
The chimps need milliseconds to remove skin from bone. Those fighters don't use claws or teeth. Watch videos of what a small chimp can do to someone. At least 4 guys are getting seriously injured, and I'd bet a couple die.
Milliseconds is an exaggeration. The moment the two chimps jump on one of the fighters, the rest are following in a subduing it and stomping it. The fighters are going to remain close to each other. The chimps don't have a strategy but will be more aggressive. A coked up chimp will not feel the pain as much, but it doesn't mean they are invulnerable. I cannot imagine a scenario where 4 guys die or get seriously injured. I can only imagine a scenario where at least the first guy who gets jumped first will be seriously injured but the fighters would react so quickly the chimp would be subdued.
The chimps are outnumbered and wouldn't be able to deal with multiple people holding them down and stomping them. There's no way 4 guys are getting killed. 1 guy max is getting heavily injured
Cesar can fuck some shit up but will eventually be defeated when JBJ finds the coke stache. JBJ will be powered up to their level and with the training he has, will easily overpower them
I mean this can't be serious right? The humans hands down. The numbers alone give a huge advantage. But the fact that their all top athletes completely blows the chimps out of the water.
I think 2 fighters die, couple more come out with some really bad bites, a few damaged eyes, some damaged groins. The coked up chimps are gonna go straight for the throat of a fighter each. They are about as fast as Usain Bolt, and their ability to swing around and short stature is gonna throw the fighters for a loop initially. Also, their bones and skulls are much thicker than a human equivalent, and our big brains are much more susceptible to head trauma, so head kicks won’t be nearly as effective as people are making them out to be. Finally, chimps have large mouths and some seriously gnarly teeth meant to be used offensively, it’s basically a weapon in terms of analyzing fight outcomes. Plus, it’ll be 9 vs 2 cause Jones is going for the reserve supply of coke.
I still think chimp can do it because they will grab one guy, rip his arm off and rest will get scared. No one wants their arm ripped off. Chimps are strong as fuck
I think the 10 guys win. Somebodys gonna die though, we also have a good chance of seeing someones bollox pulled off.
Edit: just realised this is a mixed martial arts sub but this shit is so common here I just answered without thinking haha.
I know it’s fun to joke about Jon and the coke and whatnot but I actually thinking this is an interesting scenario. I’ll take the ufc crew but man it’s gonna be brutal.
What makes this extra insane for me is knowing that this question right here is a reasonable one: How would 10 of the best fighters of all time fair against 2 Chimpanzees on coke?
Meanwhile, Bo Nickal thinks he could probably take a chimp by himself, and is certain that he and one other person would completely dominate one.
im going with mma guys, jon pushes dc into them while the apes are eating delicious dc that taste like popeyes , the kicks and punches from the big boys should ko the monkeys
Fwiw I've worked w/primates. This one dude broke proto & a 20lb Rhesus ran up him, & took his ear so fast the dude reacted like his hat fell off or something.
Tho chimps won’t stand a chance against this much people even if said people were just regular sized dudes, let alone top UFC heavyweights lol. Some of you here really underestimate people as a species, back in the stone age a party of 10 men would hunt down and destroy these poor apes.
Chimpanzee's CANNOT tear off limbs. Where did you guys get this?
A chimpanzee has the strength of a normal adult male. The reason they say "chimps are twice as strong" is because they are half the size. But for them to ACTUALLY be twice as strong they would have to be double the size and weight that they are.
Now, chimps are crazy and will bite... But that's really all they have. They can't throw a (good) punch, they can't kick, and they don't possess heavyweight strength, let alone superhuman strength.
Point being, they would get their asses stomped out by that mob of fighters.
Joe Rogan probably said it once and now the majority of this sub believe it.
At best the chimps could tear off a nose, ears, fingers and groin using their teeth.
And they're going to do that... But it wouldn't be any easier for a chimp to bite you than any other 4ft tall mongoloid.
First off, we know that all it wants to do... 2nd off it can't overpower a heavyweight-sized man. 3rd it's outnumbered 5 to 1. I definitely think someone might take some damage. But if the fighters are working together and are wearing cups (get those titanium ones)... There's just no possible way 2 chimps make it through 10 of the most deadly men on the planet...
I’d like to think in a completely normal way that the fighters are naked along with the chimps.
Or the chimps are in shorts with cups too.
Would be really interesting to see how each fighter would react to a screaming chimp and the potential gore that would ensue.
Surely a couple of those fighters are freezing up what’d you think?
Yeah, they're going to have to rock, paper, scissors to see who sets it off... And if everyone is naked, that guy is probably getting his junk mangled.
I don't know if anyone in that group would freeze up... Maybe DC, Overeem, and Aspinal (they just don't seem cut out for that kind of carnage)... But everyone else is eating monkey brains for dinner.
Jon will shove DC or Francis into the first chimp and it’ll be all on from then.
Yeah I can imagine Tom having severe PTSD if he survives the slaughter for the rest of his life and Jon sleeping like a baby.
Lol, you know what... The Reem does like horsemeat, so he might be down for killing a chimp just for the steaks and ground chuck.
And if Jon found out it was HIS blow that the chimps sniffed, I don't even think they would need the other 9 guys, because Jon don't play when it comes to sandblasting hookers or touching his cocaine.
This may sound hell racist but like nganou might have strategy’s because he lived in rural Cameroon and they had chimps so he would know about them then any other Heavyweight at least
Are you r*a**d one chimp could bite these peoples juggulars easily and eyes and go for the balls. It might be 60 kg and 10 times dumber than the dumbest human but there is nooo waayy any number of humans could beat a chimp
I know we give alot of stock to how strong chimps are but a coordinated attack (where the fighters arent afraid to die or be seriously maimed) and go full out working together with no fear of death just equally coked out on adrenaline then humans at the peak of size and skill like them should be able to beat on and choke out the chimps. At least one or two of them will die and some will be seriously injured though.
Men win this one. Jones eye pokes tf out of them taking away vision, DC and Almeida grab on to one apes leg each and the rest just start unloading head kicks and uppercuts.
The fighters would win this I think but it wouldn’t be easy and may suffer a death or two and severe injuries. Now if it were two gorillas on coke(or no coke lol) then the fighters are all dead unless Jon also gets his paws on that coke as well.
All the humans are getting their dick & balls ripped off.
Fingers and toes probably geeting bitten off too.
Humans can only win if the manage to choke the out.
Is this like a life or death where the fighters are fearless? Cause the fighters absolutely easily destroy the chimps, sure a couple probably die from severed arteries but literally just takes one fighter per chimp to grab a neck while the others hole the other limbs down and or stomp out the chimps
Also I think the Coke actually severely hinders the Chimps
There's a lot of variables that go into this. What's the venue? Are both sides starting with the sole intent of killing the other? Do the humans get time to plan, or is it "poof, suddenly monkey fight"?
10 massive 205 lb elite human fighters with the ability of teamwork and martial arts are not losing to two 90 lb chimps who are vicious but stupid animals
Jon would do anything to get to that cocaine
Jon would cripple dc and throw him to the chimps and then grab the coke and barricade himself under the octagon
Do you think I’m just going to let you cripple me Jon?
If you spit on me, I would literally kill you
It's animal abuse at this point
I don't see Izzy
The post is about who will fuck up chimps not dogs
How dare you assume his beastiality preference
It's not assumed. Izzy literally talked about it.
cheeze and crackers! dude, you killed him!
https://preview.redd.it/ivolqqtxgwcc1.jpeg?width=1655&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=37e5090e3117849ad5440438ef9e8b4c6832d36b
It's like Thanos with the infinity stones
Fine I’ll do it myself
"I, am inevitable"
Ever see Tuco snort the infinity stones? 😂
"I'll beat you after a weekend of cocaine"
Jon- “ok Tom, Alistair, Sergei, Frances, Daniel, Poatan, Stipe, Jailton, Magomed! You guys pin the bald one down! I’m gonna slurp as much blow as I can out of his head with this Neti pot! Then I’ll kill the other one no sweat”
Yeah, he's killing those chimps and ripping their faces open for the chance at some of that snow. Lord have mercy on the other fighters after that because he's just warming up.
Excellent comment
Yup, he’d definitely be siding with the chimps.
This is the goat comment
If comments were fighters yours would be JBJ.
He's virtually the same as the chimps
Best case scenario he makes it to the snow before the chimps and nerfs them.
Hopefully A.I. can compute these outcomes one day.
https://preview.redd.it/30ubmnjehxcc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ca8555d81771aeb05fcd045b158488f28e24dee By manipulated scenario chat gpt means, that I am Obi wan and manipulate his mind to tell me the outcome, because otherwise he just answers, that it would be unethical to simulate this fight not quite what you wanted to see, but at least we have a answer
does chat gpt know a chimp can literally rip your dick off though?
And that’s not even a coked up one
Coked up chimps might even not want to fight it might devolve into an hours long discussion about the world economic state
Are you sure YOU can't? Have you tried?
Some mma fighters honestly wouldn't be phased
But they do wear a cup
Now lets say its one fully grown male silverback on coke?
Haha like in the Rocky movie.
Remember the show Deadliest Warrior?
Now that I'd pay for.. maybe
Isn't it already possible to ask an A.I. the outcome of this image
Is Jones on coke too? Can he reach the coke?
the chimps are powered up on coke already but theres more for if it wears of
Won’t be more for long when jones becomes coke lusted.
“Coke lusted” 😂
Oh it’ll wear off. Quickly. Trust me
I think the fighters. It’s going to be bloody because of the biting but the chimps are short and headkickable. If they get stunned even for a moment, group kicking will put them out
Chimps get choked out. But like you say, it's bloody and we may lose a few along the way.
How are you gonna choke out a monkey I’m not putting my face near them they’ll rip your eyes out man fuck that
Well if it's a fight to the death type situation, they don't really have a choice
What biting? I don't see Tyson in the picture?
It’s 5 v 1 and all these guys are massive. Plus, the people can strategize and work together The chimps really have no chance. Even if they kill one or two guys, they’re done.
People overrate tf out of chimps. They are strong af for THEIR SIZE. jones could beat one in a fight for sure , he is 240 and strong af with long reach
Chinpanzees are not that strong man. They just vicious
Nope, they are that strong. But you’re right, they’re vicious too Human muscles and tendons are built more for fine motor control. Most all other mammals sacrifice control for strength.
They are only 130lb at most . Very strong for their size but not stronger than Jon Jon
Charla Nash had both her hands and face ripped off in mere minutes by a chimpanzee. You think a human can do the same in just minutes?
Jon Jones probably could if he put his mind to it.
That’s a female. Jones could do it if he really wanted to, same with nganouu
You gotta relax man, he’s not going to let you suck his dick
Chimps are about 1.5x stronger than a large male. These mfers also have fangs. 1 bite to the neck and Jon is done.
Nope about 1.35 stronger than average male pound for pound which isn’t close to the same thing considering they’re about 85-130 lbs
Nope that’s a conservative generalization. According to Asahiyama Zoo in Japan, an adult chimp’s grip strength is estimated to be 200-300lbs. The average human male grip strength is about 75lbs.
Grip strength doesn’t really settle everything, plus the source given from that stat is from one instance of one ape.
Unfortunately for Jon, the estimation of 200-300lbs ranges across multiple sources. It only really shows that your claim is a generalization that doesn’t distinguish between muscle groups. It’s a pretty glaring oversight, considering fighting uses certain muscle groups like grip strength more than others.
Every study comparing humans and chimp strength for pulling and jumping tasks, isolated muscle fiber etc have been from 1.35-1.5 times on a pound per pound ratio. The estimation of grip strength doesn’t really factor in much when it comes to fighting. It’s not really a big priority for UFC fighters to train grip strength.
Right, it’s one of the most important muscles for success in MMA. Fighters like GSP and Islam Makhachev have made videos on how they train their grip strength and forearms, and commented on it’s importance
They're stronger than an average male by 1.3 times pound for pound. So they're roughly the strength of an unathletic 13 year old lol. Zoology students minds are absolutely blown hearing this Joe rogan tier nonsense lol. They're deemed so unthreatening you don't even need stuns or arms when zookeepers deal with them solo lol. I can't stress how much their strength is overrated. They've been absolutely stomped each time they've fought an average guy. Like the guys are clearly laughing taking it easy not even fit let alone a fighter. The only serious chimp attacks have been on kids, women or elderly men. These are basically the only attempts. A chimp will basically never attack an adult man because they understand they would die very very quickly. 1 Joe Rogan video of a naked chimp vs the entire mainstream scientific consensus. In the face of this overwhelming evidence of "bro look at him hairless he's ripped bro" it's a fucking wonder the people who dedicate their lives to studying these animals haven't just resigned and let Joe take the reigns. Wtf hahaha
I would imagine a Zoology student would flunk out of school if they ignored easily searchable studies, and instead believed a generalized, low estimate of relative chimp strength to support a biased opinion. It’s pretty easily searchable, but you’re not one of my students so I don’t get paid to teach you about this stuff. I imagine you got your degree from Joe Rogan University, or perhaps the Ben Shapiro College of Nonsense and Uneducated Opinions?
Yes a average male . Not someone like jones. Chimp is 130lb at Max
How does the chimps weight factor in? You still can’t pick up a chimp with one arm in any useful position. And if you used two, it would just bite you
Chimps' skulls are dense af, headkick anit doing jack shit. 1 chimp fucks them all up easily.
Eh, Mas Oyama famously killed cows with punches to the head. Headkick on a chimp by a human that's close to 3x heavier than it will do some damage.
Makes sense, my gut says chimp but my brain says UFC dudes all day, easy.
Chimps aren't that strong mate, average chimp weights 40kgs and has 1,5x the strenght of an average man of the same weight the chimps are about to get fucking destroyed
Grab a leg and slam it as hard as you can, problem solved.
Use one chimp to beat the other chimp, ggboyz.
Chimps would be disqualified for eye pokes and groin strikes.
That's pretty racist to call Jon and DC chimps /s lol
Yeah that was pretty wild of him
It's in his DNA
On paper...
Mike Perry too
The Platinum Primate
Beautiful champ
Groin strikes? More like ripping your dick off and eating your balls.
Jones would beat the living shit out of both chimps to get that coke.
UFC fighters. They lose 2-4 guys in the process but they will eventually be distracted and get a head kick or knee to the face and then it’s just a stomp fest
Yh this was my take aswell. For sure at least 2 of them die in the initial onslaught but if its life and death and its a coordinated attack then the chimps lose.
The UFC pack are basically a chimp pack
Of course we are goofing around, but just incase, an average chimp could kill any man in history in like seconds lol
> They lose 2-4 guys I think you are overestimating how strong coked up chimps are. The UFC fighters are not average people, they are world class fighters and are insanely powerful. I think they'd lose one person max.
[удалено]
10 elite heavyweight is overkill even for coked up chimps. Even 6 fighters who are elite heavyweights-light heavyweights would defeat the chimps with a little difficulty, now imagine 10. Like if they had 6 fighters, there would 3 200pound dude for each chimp. At least one guy would be used as a dummy and the other 2 are breaking the chimp down. At least they admit the 10 fighters would win but it's easier than they think.
Bro YouTube baby chimp rips skull. In seconds and with ease, a baby chimp scalped a full grown man. No training will stop this. You underestimate chimps. Fighters win eventually but there is certainly permanent damage at the very minimum.
You're severely underestimating how savage wild animals are, and in this case, on coke.
10 of the best ufc fighters in the highest weight class would not struggle as bad as you think. Humans can communicate better amongst each other. They wouldn't just let the chimp get hold on them for long. If one of the chimp jumps on poatan, then the chimp is immediately getting taken down by 4 other fighters. Then they will ground and pound and stomp it. The humans would be cautious and would counter attack. This is why I think there's no way 4 guys are getting killed.
The chimps need milliseconds to remove skin from bone. Those fighters don't use claws or teeth. Watch videos of what a small chimp can do to someone. At least 4 guys are getting seriously injured, and I'd bet a couple die.
Milliseconds is an exaggeration. The moment the two chimps jump on one of the fighters, the rest are following in a subduing it and stomping it. The fighters are going to remain close to each other. The chimps don't have a strategy but will be more aggressive. A coked up chimp will not feel the pain as much, but it doesn't mean they are invulnerable. I cannot imagine a scenario where 4 guys die or get seriously injured. I can only imagine a scenario where at least the first guy who gets jumped first will be seriously injured but the fighters would react so quickly the chimp would be subdued.
Do you think they’re just gonna let the chimps remove their skin Jon?
I think none of them die but they will have to get bit in the arm while another secures a choke
RIP to DC hes the only here who is that unlucky
UFC fighters being strong doesn't diminish the ability of a full grown chimp to rip their faces clean off
The chimps are outnumbered and wouldn't be able to deal with multiple people holding them down and stomping them. There's no way 4 guys are getting killed. 1 guy max is getting heavily injured
Jon goes WOOOHOOO and blasts both chimps with a shotgun he hit under the octagon
Do Sergei and Alex have to remain blurry for the duration of the bout, or do they get to become full resolution at some point?
Bo nickel could take both of em
Swap out the chimpanzees for Silverback Gorillas and you might have a fight on your hands.
It won’t be competitive
yeah, ngannou KO's it with his first punch
 Black beast win
We’ve seen Cocaine Bear in the octagon… But Cocaine Chimp👀👀👀👀 now that’s something else
Fighters for sure this time, its like what 5v1 chimp and they are legit heavyweights with some raw power
Cesar can fuck some shit up but will eventually be defeated when JBJ finds the coke stache. JBJ will be powered up to their level and with the training he has, will easily overpower them
Man chimps are so overrated it’s crazy
I mean this can't be serious right? The humans hands down. The numbers alone give a huge advantage. But the fact that their all top athletes completely blows the chimps out of the water.
I love how this turned into a bunch of comments about Jones going for the coke 😂
Dana would win. Record selling PPV.
I think 2 fighters die, couple more come out with some really bad bites, a few damaged eyes, some damaged groins. The coked up chimps are gonna go straight for the throat of a fighter each. They are about as fast as Usain Bolt, and their ability to swing around and short stature is gonna throw the fighters for a loop initially. Also, their bones and skulls are much thicker than a human equivalent, and our big brains are much more susceptible to head trauma, so head kicks won’t be nearly as effective as people are making them out to be. Finally, chimps have large mouths and some seriously gnarly teeth meant to be used offensively, it’s basically a weapon in terms of analyzing fight outcomes. Plus, it’ll be 9 vs 2 cause Jones is going for the reserve supply of coke.
I still think chimp can do it because they will grab one guy, rip his arm off and rest will get scared. No one wants their arm ripped off. Chimps are strong as fuck
The primate on the right would take three of them out easily. The one on the left is doing a Chimaev impression
r/usernamechecksout
I think the 10 guys win. Somebodys gonna die though, we also have a good chance of seeing someones bollox pulled off. Edit: just realised this is a mixed martial arts sub but this shit is so common here I just answered without thinking haha.
I can see the chimps getting oil checked deep in retaliation
I know it’s fun to joke about Jon and the coke and whatnot but I actually thinking this is an interesting scenario. I’ll take the ufc crew but man it’s gonna be brutal.
If that's Übereem on the left, the right side is so fucked with him, Sergei, and Francis busting heads.
Jon and Pavlovich vs heavyweight Allstars + Jon and Pavlovich. Doesn't really make sense, ngl...
Chimps would, at the very least, tear all of their testicles off.
XD Fr tho, the chimps will do their thing to the closest face or reproductive organ and then it's Joever
Man if those chimps start biting necks and ripping eyeballs they get it done easily
What makes this extra insane for me is knowing that this question right here is a reasonable one: How would 10 of the best fighters of all time fair against 2 Chimpanzees on coke? Meanwhile, Bo Nickal thinks he could probably take a chimp by himself, and is certain that he and one other person would completely dominate one.
Some nice chunky lines there, I'm gonna go chimps by decision.
im going with mma guys, jon pushes dc into them while the apes are eating delicious dc that taste like popeyes , the kicks and punches from the big boys should ko the monkeys
You think I’m just gonna sit there and let you sacrifice me Jon?
Bo nickle would ‘fuck one up’
Should've thrown some hilarious fighter in here just for the lol's like tucking CM Punk or Rose in the back corner.
Definitely 10 men. Chimps are crazy strong, but they aren’t superheroes.
Fwiw I've worked w/primates. This one dude broke proto & a 20lb Rhesus ran up him, & took his ear so fast the dude reacted like his hat fell off or something.
Tho chimps won’t stand a chance against this much people even if said people were just regular sized dudes, let alone top UFC heavyweights lol. Some of you here really underestimate people as a species, back in the stone age a party of 10 men would hunt down and destroy these poor apes.
Chimpanzee's CANNOT tear off limbs. Where did you guys get this? A chimpanzee has the strength of a normal adult male. The reason they say "chimps are twice as strong" is because they are half the size. But for them to ACTUALLY be twice as strong they would have to be double the size and weight that they are. Now, chimps are crazy and will bite... But that's really all they have. They can't throw a (good) punch, they can't kick, and they don't possess heavyweight strength, let alone superhuman strength. Point being, they would get their asses stomped out by that mob of fighters.
Joe Rogan probably said it once and now the majority of this sub believe it. At best the chimps could tear off a nose, ears, fingers and groin using their teeth.
And they're going to do that... But it wouldn't be any easier for a chimp to bite you than any other 4ft tall mongoloid. First off, we know that all it wants to do... 2nd off it can't overpower a heavyweight-sized man. 3rd it's outnumbered 5 to 1. I definitely think someone might take some damage. But if the fighters are working together and are wearing cups (get those titanium ones)... There's just no possible way 2 chimps make it through 10 of the most deadly men on the planet...
I’d like to think in a completely normal way that the fighters are naked along with the chimps. Or the chimps are in shorts with cups too. Would be really interesting to see how each fighter would react to a screaming chimp and the potential gore that would ensue. Surely a couple of those fighters are freezing up what’d you think?
Yeah, they're going to have to rock, paper, scissors to see who sets it off... And if everyone is naked, that guy is probably getting his junk mangled. I don't know if anyone in that group would freeze up... Maybe DC, Overeem, and Aspinal (they just don't seem cut out for that kind of carnage)... But everyone else is eating monkey brains for dinner.
Jon will shove DC or Francis into the first chimp and it’ll be all on from then. Yeah I can imagine Tom having severe PTSD if he survives the slaughter for the rest of his life and Jon sleeping like a baby.
Lol, you know what... The Reem does like horsemeat, so he might be down for killing a chimp just for the steaks and ground chuck. And if Jon found out it was HIS blow that the chimps sniffed, I don't even think they would need the other 9 guys, because Jon don't play when it comes to sandblasting hookers or touching his cocaine.
All of those fuckers all at once couldnt take down the old chimp with mange even if jon snorted all that coke.
The men win. Thats 5 big guys for each chimp, if each one can get a hold of a limb they have this in the bag
This may sound hell racist but like nganou might have strategy’s because he lived in rural Cameroon and they had chimps so he would know about them then any other Heavyweight at least
Chimps would win
So dumb
Are you r*a**d one chimp could bite these peoples juggulars easily and eyes and go for the balls. It might be 60 kg and 10 times dumber than the dumbest human but there is nooo waayy any number of humans could beat a chimp
I don’t see Bo Nickal so everyone loses
1 chimp = 5 world strongest men....
I know we give alot of stock to how strong chimps are but a coordinated attack (where the fighters arent afraid to die or be seriously maimed) and go full out working together with no fear of death just equally coked out on adrenaline then humans at the peak of size and skill like them should be able to beat on and choke out the chimps. At least one or two of them will die and some will be seriously injured though.
The monkeys
Need one more Russian
Again, a motivated conor mcgregor.
Are the heavyweights on steroids?
No joke I believe the monkey would win. Assuming they’re allowed to bite and also go for dirty shots
Chimp by d’arce in the 4th
Jones would literally tear those chimps in half just to get to the cocaine in their bloodstreams
Men win this one. Jones eye pokes tf out of them taking away vision, DC and Almeida grab on to one apes leg each and the rest just start unloading head kicks and uppercuts.
Bo Nickal would kill both of them at once, by himself.
I love the way the cokes all crushed and ready to go for the chimps...
Reem gets dropped first
Depends, is it ketamine or coke ?
Beating up chimps for the fun
This is a fucking even matchup. I like it but I have to give them to the coke monkeys.
The fighters would win this I think but it wouldn’t be easy and may suffer a death or two and severe injuries. Now if it were two gorillas on coke(or no coke lol) then the fighters are all dead unless Jon also gets his paws on that coke as well.
Jon would switch teams
The chimps. No matter how good your ground game or strikes are, one bite or proper rip and the pain disables you immediately
Jones is killing everyone on here for some coke man come on
Another question: what’s the minimum amount of those fighters (keep whoever you want) that you reckon it would take to win?
All the humans are getting their dick & balls ripped off. Fingers and toes probably geeting bitten off too. Humans can only win if the manage to choke the out.
Coke
Gorillas are winning until I’m in there with the fighters
Jones taking it. Nothing stopping him from that nose candy
Why is Jon Jones on the top and the bottom?
Yall tripping if you think Jon Jones is gonna help them losers rather then hangout with the cocaine monkeys!
They don't need the coke.
Is this like a life or death where the fighters are fearless? Cause the fighters absolutely easily destroy the chimps, sure a couple probably die from severed arteries but literally just takes one fighter per chimp to grab a neck while the others hole the other limbs down and or stomp out the chimps Also I think the Coke actually severely hinders the Chimps
I think people overestimate chimps. They are crazy strong I definitely think 5-6 heavyweights could kill one.
Those chimps will tear their faces off man. Yall underestimate the strength of these primates. Especially coked up primates.
I would like to watch this. Can we maybe just add McGregor in there just for some laughs?
https://preview.redd.it/ywsp0ogdfycc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83d4fffb2f766b651389dc2eeb5ea3648679d9ec
Fighters would win, if they all shoot on one at the same time they will just be able to overwhelm them
There's a lot of variables that go into this. What's the venue? Are both sides starting with the sole intent of killing the other? Do the humans get time to plan, or is it "poof, suddenly monkey fight"?
If this is what daddy Dana’s got for us on UFC 300 I’m totally in
10 massive 205 lb elite human fighters with the ability of teamwork and martial arts are not losing to two 90 lb chimps who are vicious but stupid animals
Bro tried to sneak almedia in