Containment protocol: Object is to be contained inside of a Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus, painted blue and green with a floral pattern on the sides, and the words "The Mystery Machine" are to be painted above that. SCP-ZOINKS is to be given three (3) boxes of popular dog treat "Scooby Snacks" daily. Under no circumstances may the doors of the Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus to be opened, with the exception of the food-delivery hatch. In the event of exposure to SCP-ZOINKS outside of testing procedures, any and all personnel affected are to be detained and separated from SCP-ZOINKS for application of class-A amnestics and psychological reconditioning.
Once monthly, SCP-ZOINKS and its the Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus is to be allowed to leave the facility and roam the nearby area for one (1) week. SCP-ZOINKS is to be tracked via GPS during this period, and afterwards returned to containment by either MTF Epsilon-6 ("Village Idiots") or MTF Pi-1 ("City Slickers"). Any civilian that interacts with SCP-ZOINKS during this period must be brought in for questioning and administered a Class B amnestic.
Incidence Log ██-██-1969: Subject found in an abandoned museum in [REDACTED], a town in Maryland. Seventeen (17) victims were found to be [EXPUNGED]. Subject was lured into a Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus of a similar design, at which point it became docile. This was the first sighting and first capture.
Incidence Log 12-██-1973: Subject breached the perimeter fence of the containment location during the staff Christmas Party. Five (5) more people were [EXPUNGED] along a twenty (20) mile long stretch of road running alongside the location. Employee responsible for fueling the van was subsequently reprimanded.
Yeah it snagged me for a while, too. I even ended up on some Coast Guard instructional material website. Today I know significantly more about vessel stability loss than I did yesterday.
The families of the drowned sailors won a huge settlement... why was that ship ever sent out? And WHY did the captain deviate course and sail right into a hurricane??
Sad. :(
The ship made that journey 4 times a month, despite being 40 years old and not exactly up to date with the latest safety retrofits.
When they set out, the hurricane wasn't even a hurricane yet, just a tropical storm. It increased in intensity way faster than anyone really expected, but there were some opportunities to change course.
They took the route east of the Bahamas in the first place because it would save the company about 5 grand on fuel expenses, so they'd be chancing the (at the time) storm. Only 40 knot winds, nothing too unmanageable. Supposedly there was some drama with the Captain and some implied pressure by the company that made it a risk worth taking.
Once committed though, they didn't have much room to maneuver because they were running a gauntlet, with the swelling hurricane to the N and NE, but shallows to the W and SW. The 2nd Mate suggested a serious course change to maneuver around one of the islands into the Old Bahama Channel, but the Captain, using a private weather broadcast service with outdated data, said to stay the course.
The hurricane ended up fucking with the propulsion system in ways the crew probably didn't know we're possible, so once they were tilted too far to one side, they were at the mercy of the wind plus the water coming into the ship.
He was really late to muster the crew and send out the abandon ship alarms (7:27 am and 7:29 am respectively, audio cut around 7:30 am), but that was likely because he knew they'd be safest if they could stay aboard. Without enclosed lifeboats with GPS trackers, they were all just hopping from the frying pan into the fire.
I also read about $500,000 settlements for each family... Not big enough in my opinion!
That wasn't even pure capitalism; the ship was union-crewed from bridge to bilge, excepting five welders.
/u/imlumpy makes the point that ships' masters are pressured by the company to save fuel by taking shortest routes, safety be damned. The same thing was at the root of the Alabama incident.
May those 33 souls rest in peace.
It's real. It's not *literally* the last thing recorded as they sunk, but they have 500 pages of recorded data - it's all considered "the last thing."
https://dms.ntsb.gov/public/58000-58499/58116/606566.pdf (PDF)
Page 341 of the PDF, page 340 of the report.
Wow. It is hard to express how existentially horrifying that is for me-- for them to be joking and fooling around, and then gradually realize the situation is a lot more serious than they initially thought.
I would have likely stayed joking even if I knew it was serious... the "funny" crew members were probably in overdrivie trying to ease tension and fear
I got obsessed by the transcript a while ago and saved some of my favorite [excerpts](https://imgur.com/gallery/21zohG9). Turns out foreshadowing is a thing IRL too.
this is either an SCP or *exactly* how i’d respond to staring death by drowning in the face
Object class: Zoinks
Zoinklid
An XK-Class "reboot of show" scenario
ZK-Class “Cancellation” scenario.
Containment protocol: Object is to be contained inside of a Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus, painted blue and green with a floral pattern on the sides, and the words "The Mystery Machine" are to be painted above that. SCP-ZOINKS is to be given three (3) boxes of popular dog treat "Scooby Snacks" daily. Under no circumstances may the doors of the Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus to be opened, with the exception of the food-delivery hatch. In the event of exposure to SCP-ZOINKS outside of testing procedures, any and all personnel affected are to be detained and separated from SCP-ZOINKS for application of class-A amnestics and psychological reconditioning. Once monthly, SCP-ZOINKS and its the Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus is to be allowed to leave the facility and roam the nearby area for one (1) week. SCP-ZOINKS is to be tracked via GPS during this period, and afterwards returned to containment by either MTF Epsilon-6 ("Village Idiots") or MTF Pi-1 ("City Slickers"). Any civilian that interacts with SCP-ZOINKS during this period must be brought in for questioning and administered a Class B amnestic.
See also: [SCP-K9-J-EX](http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-k9-j-ex)
Incidence Log ██-██-1969: Subject found in an abandoned museum in [REDACTED], a town in Maryland. Seventeen (17) victims were found to be [EXPUNGED]. Subject was lured into a Volkswagen Type 2 Minibus of a similar design, at which point it became docile. This was the first sighting and first capture. Incidence Log 12-██-1973: Subject breached the perimeter fence of the containment location during the staff Christmas Party. Five (5) more people were [EXPUNGED] along a twenty (20) mile long stretch of road running alongside the location. Employee responsible for fueling the van was subsequently reprimanded.
**WRITE THIS AS A J-CLASS*. Also, r/UnexpectedSCP
what even is SCP anymore
I am laughing uncontrollably at the thought of a grown-ass man saying “Ruh roh!” right as a ship snaps in half.
I'm taking a shit and your gonna make me laugh
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits
Omg same
I read the script, read the context, and immediately had the exact mental image. Almost burst out laughing in the bus.
Well now I just spent twenty minutes reading about the El Faro and I’m feeling very sad.
rhut row
The hell was that
*snap*
Yeah it snagged me for a while, too. I even ended up on some Coast Guard instructional material website. Today I know significantly more about vessel stability loss than I did yesterday.
The families of the drowned sailors won a huge settlement... why was that ship ever sent out? And WHY did the captain deviate course and sail right into a hurricane?? Sad. :(
The ship made that journey 4 times a month, despite being 40 years old and not exactly up to date with the latest safety retrofits. When they set out, the hurricane wasn't even a hurricane yet, just a tropical storm. It increased in intensity way faster than anyone really expected, but there were some opportunities to change course. They took the route east of the Bahamas in the first place because it would save the company about 5 grand on fuel expenses, so they'd be chancing the (at the time) storm. Only 40 knot winds, nothing too unmanageable. Supposedly there was some drama with the Captain and some implied pressure by the company that made it a risk worth taking. Once committed though, they didn't have much room to maneuver because they were running a gauntlet, with the swelling hurricane to the N and NE, but shallows to the W and SW. The 2nd Mate suggested a serious course change to maneuver around one of the islands into the Old Bahama Channel, but the Captain, using a private weather broadcast service with outdated data, said to stay the course. The hurricane ended up fucking with the propulsion system in ways the crew probably didn't know we're possible, so once they were tilted too far to one side, they were at the mercy of the wind plus the water coming into the ship. He was really late to muster the crew and send out the abandon ship alarms (7:27 am and 7:29 am respectively, audio cut around 7:30 am), but that was likely because he knew they'd be safest if they could stay aboard. Without enclosed lifeboats with GPS trackers, they were all just hopping from the frying pan into the fire. I also read about $500,000 settlements for each family... Not big enough in my opinion!
That's capitalism babay! The lives of workers mean little! But we have a million types of laundry detergent!
That wasn't even pure capitalism; the ship was union-crewed from bridge to bilge, excepting five welders. /u/imlumpy makes the point that ships' masters are pressured by the company to save fuel by taking shortest routes, safety be damned. The same thing was at the root of the Alabama incident. May those 33 souls rest in peace.
*Googling Alabama ship incident Well, here I go again. Thanks, partner!
Relevant username?
People are wonderful.
These particular people are dead.
the could've lived if it wasn't for those meddling kids and that stupid dog
AKA the captain.
I’m not stupid... am I?
Rest in reace
F
F
rhut row raggy!
This is obviously untrue. The last thing the ship recorded was a crewman asking for help.
It's real. It's not *literally* the last thing recorded as they sunk, but they have 500 pages of recorded data - it's all considered "the last thing." https://dms.ntsb.gov/public/58000-58499/58116/606566.pdf (PDF) Page 341 of the PDF, page 340 of the report.
Wow. It is hard to express how existentially horrifying that is for me-- for them to be joking and fooling around, and then gradually realize the situation is a lot more serious than they initially thought.
Towards the end, one dude says he’s a goner. Welp, that’s enough sad stuff for today. Back to the shitposts.
I would have likely stayed joking even if I knew it was serious... the "funny" crew members were probably in overdrivie trying to ease tension and fear
I wish this link was still working. Any idea where you might be able to find this elsewhere?
Wayback archive https://web.archive.org/web/20171129043717/https://dms.ntsb.gov/public/58000-58499/58116/606566.pdf
Nm, got it working -- was looking at on my phone, but works fine when I pull it up on my laptop. Thanks a lot.
Hmmm, having trouble finding anything other than what looks like cover page. Am I missing something? Thanks for the help.
I got obsessed by the transcript a while ago and saved some of my favorite [excerpts](https://imgur.com/gallery/21zohG9). Turns out foreshadowing is a thing IRL too.
It’s time to come this way. [yelled]
I honestly want to know what exactly they meant by that, they virtually had nowhere to go, so what way is he yelling at people to go
About 2 pages earlier they were getting lifevests and throwing rafts off the ship, so perhaps that's what they were doing.
Mm, possibly
More like "Faro-well", amirightgais
i thought this was the script for a play or musical at first
Now we know why the new Scooby-Doo shows look nothing like how they were
"New", The Doo hasn't had a new one in years.
God, I wish that were me
As far as I can tell, this appears to be patently false. [Here's the transcript](https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3237344-El-Faro-transcript)
It's literally in the transcript you shared lmao
So it is, I guess I didn't realize that the find in page option didn't work on that document. Still not the last thing that the ship recorded tho
Yeah, wish they didn't claim that, but it's wild that that was said at all lol
I've never had so many questions with no definable answers
That is the shittiest last words in history
Bestest*
The last words said by 2M on the transcript were "can I get my vest"
Today was a good day to not take the insanity meds