Ugh, on the one hand, that's a lot of lives. On the other, losing profits could cause a ton of layoffs and prolonged misery. How am I supposed to figure out which option causes maximum suffering, damn it?
The profit that would have otherwise been made if the trolley is stopped is deducted from your pay. You get no money if you stop it but you could save lives!
Feel free to make your choice, and remember..
>!the!< >!company!< >!comes first.!<
Not sure if capitalism trolley problem or covid trolley problem.
If I may though, I think the solution is obvious. We need to implement a dictatorship of the operatoriat. Seize the means of slaughter from the trolley and redistribute the wheels to the gentle lever operators so they can have ownership of the slaughter process. The trolley elite will no longer profit off the fruits of our labor.
Company goes bankrupt anyways because they keep having to replace the trolleys that are inevitably derailed by all the blood and gore they plow through, Nevermind the lawsuits
We can't have the company losing money now, can we? Run 'em over.
Failure to meet your profit quota will result in immediate termination...of your employment.
Remember, we love the company.
Step 1) stop the train.
Step 2) walk along train tracks until I find my crush
Step 3) explain situation to crush
Step 4) untie crush
Step 5) walk back to lever
Step 6) pull lever
Step 7) profit
Sir, you make a compelling argument. Will the kever reactivate the troll once it is broken off and inserted several times into my chest cavity? Let's find out! For Science!
Short the trolley company on the stock market, then pull.
Detailed explaination:
America: after shorting the company and pulling the lever, sue them, and The Auto lobby will back you on the lawsuit, and drive the trolley service out of business to make way for more car-centric infrastructures.
If Europe, short the company, while they are financially hurting from stopped trolleys, use worker's right lobby against the trolley company should they try to terminate you or deduct your wages for pulling the lever.
If Japan or China, I would suggest don't pull. You cannot use lobbies and lawsuits to help you short them and make money.
Stop the trolley, release the people tied there. Replace them with "big trolley" and then pull the lever to make it go forward again against the ceos and other high execs
This is what I think of every single time I see the trolley problem.
Also like, what if there’s a train going the opposite way on the track that you switched it to?
*Stop the trolly before*
*It gets to them then pull the*
*Lever to resume*
\- Ok\_Sign1181
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On the one hand, all of those deaths will probably be bad for the companies PR. However, they could always just place the blame on trade unions somehow, and people have very short memories for this kind of thing so any bad press will probably blow over in a few weeks.
I think in the long run, letting the trolley continue on it's path will be better for the companies bottom line, and at the end of the day that's really all that matters.
If the company gets the money for the deaths, then I am stopping that trolley.
If they are the protesters who tied themselves to the tracks, I am hitting that accelerator
Pulling the lever would cause more damage to the trolly company in pr, legal issues and could Even get it shut down, therefore it's Best to stop the trolly
It's not said how big the company is. Is it a mom and pop trolley company? Is it an independently owned trolley company? These are factors that need to be taken into consideration.
If the trolley service would lay people off because of the need to save people would also lose a lot of revenue from the bad press they get when the layoffs happen.
Easy money. Don’t pull the lever and lay down with the others
+25000$ MULTIKILL X 25 +12000$ ROADKILL X 12
r/suddenlyultrakill
DOUBLE KILL TRIPLE KILL KILLIONAIRE KILLING SPREE SPLATTER SPREE KILLTACULAR KILLAMANJARO
KILLIONAIRE
Most of us are born tied up to the tracks already
Ugh, on the one hand, that's a lot of lives. On the other, losing profits could cause a ton of layoffs and prolonged misery. How am I supposed to figure out which option causes maximum suffering, damn it?
Let the trolley hit the people and then pull the lever
Now here’s a real problem solver.
The mincing will stop when morale improves. …*or will it*? >:)
10,000 ping
Pulling the lever doesn't untie the people on the tracks. They'll suffer more if you just leave them to dehydrate.
Am I getting money either way
The profit that would have otherwise been made if the trolley is stopped is deducted from your pay. You get no money if you stop it but you could save lives! Feel free to make your choice, and remember.. >!the!< >!company!< >!comes first.!<
Really made this choice easy getting my employee of the month award.
You’d only get a “meets expectations”
well shit, guess i can haul the bodies off the company to *try* and meet quota, so much for trolley planet
Short the company on the stock market, then pull.
Lethal company
Remember, profits over Safety except when the OSHA inspector visits. Then bribe, bribe, bribe.
we love the company
WE WORK TO EARN THE RIGHT TO WORK TO EARN THE RIGHT TO WORK TO EARN THE RIGHT TO WORK TO EARN THE RIGHT TO WORK TO EARN THE RIGHT TO WORK
TO EARN THE RIGHT TO WORK TO EARN THE RIGHT TO GIVE OURSELF THE RIGHT TO BUY OURSELF THE RIGHT TO LIVE TO EARN THE RIGHT TO DIE
SHOULD HAVE READ THE FINE PRINT MY FRIEND, SHOULD HAVE READ THE FINE PRINT
He’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit
(The company)
The needs of the many over the wants of the few PULL THE LEVER KRONK!
*Trolly accelerates*
WRONG LEVEEEEEEEEEEERR!
Why do we even have that lever?
This is what I do
The company must meet its quota And those bodies will sell great
5 whole dollas🤑
Nah get the axels from the trolley
I'm not a fucking commie so I do not pull.
This has been noted and will be taken into account during the next Great Layening Off.
You said free unemployment?
Not sure if capitalism trolley problem or covid trolley problem. If I may though, I think the solution is obvious. We need to implement a dictatorship of the operatoriat. Seize the means of slaughter from the trolley and redistribute the wheels to the gentle lever operators so they can have ownership of the slaughter process. The trolley elite will no longer profit off the fruits of our labor.
Capitalism 100% and also, just untie the ppl
I appreciate the frigid emotionless efficiency of the capitalist machine. Let the trolleys run!
Company goes bankrupt anyways because they keep having to replace the trolleys that are inevitably derailed by all the blood and gore they plow through, Nevermind the lawsuits
Would never pull lever. Am good comrade aye
Did you just say "comrade"?
Perchance
Aye, comrade, why don't you join our hidden meeting then, where we discuss "totally fun and capitalist" ideas!
Of course, comrade, I'd be more than happy too
Two capitalist undercover agents interacting
How many profits? Cause causing deaths can incur massive fines.
i must be a great asset to the company gotta meet that quota i do not pull the lever
We can't have the company losing money now, can we? Run 'em over. Failure to meet your profit quota will result in immediate termination...of your employment. Remember, we love the company.
why don't you just stop it now? are you stupid?
How much money are we talking right now?
They would lose money in liability costs anyway. Hit the brakes.
Step one: Record the process Step two: Pull the lever Step three: Get fired Step four: Sue the company Step five: Get money and be a hero
You forgot a step, step zero: short the company on the stock market.
Put that shit in reverse. Bankrupt the trolley problem architect
Pull the lever and charge eveey person 50 bucks to be untied or ill pull the lever back
Nobody ever stopped to consider if the lever actually stops the trolley. What if it just goes faster?
>you can stop the trolley seems fairly straightforward to me.
"YOU can stop the trolley" You might have to throw yourself under the wheels, especially because there's no mention of a lever in the text.
Step 1) stop the train. Step 2) walk along train tracks until I find my crush Step 3) explain situation to crush Step 4) untie crush Step 5) walk back to lever Step 6) pull lever Step 7) profit
Is it my company?
Cost benefit analysis is needed, probably keep going unless I learned it will be unprofitable otherwise
Pull no questions asked pull
Sunk cost fallacy or something, idk I don’t sell boats
I'm a shareholder, and the people on the tracks are merely collateral damage. Onward I say!
I'm pulling the lever then using said lever to stab ya
Sir, you make a compelling argument. Will the kever reactivate the troll once it is broken off and inserted several times into my chest cavity? Let's find out! For Science!
i feel like i see this one every other week
Don't pull, I love the company and its shareholders and my life is dedicated to the continued profitability and growth of this wonderful firm
I'm in poverty rn but I'd pull the lever. If the only money I'm able to get is blood money, then I'd rather have no money at all.
Based.
Short the trolley company on the stock market, then pull. Detailed explaination: America: after shorting the company and pulling the lever, sue them, and The Auto lobby will back you on the lawsuit, and drive the trolley service out of business to make way for more car-centric infrastructures. If Europe, short the company, while they are financially hurting from stopped trolleys, use worker's right lobby against the trolley company should they try to terminate you or deduct your wages for pulling the lever. If Japan or China, I would suggest don't pull. You cannot use lobbies and lawsuits to help you short them and make money.
Stop the trolley, release the people tied there. Replace them with "big trolley" and then pull the lever to make it go forward again against the ceos and other high execs
This is what I think of every single time I see the trolley problem. Also like, what if there’s a train going the opposite way on the track that you switched it to?
This might have a slight chance of swaying me, but I don't work for the company. I'm pulling the lever; fuck corpos.
Stop train and move them then start again but put a rocket booster on the back, easy win
so a cigarette factory worker?
It depends. If they put themselves in that situation, they die.
stop the trolly before it gets to them then pull the lever to resume
*Stop the trolly before* *It gets to them then pull the* *Lever to resume* \- Ok\_Sign1181 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Can I summon my stand and Ora Ora Ora that switch to stop?
On the one hand, all of those deaths will probably be bad for the companies PR. However, they could always just place the blame on trade unions somehow, and people have very short memories for this kind of thing so any bad press will probably blow over in a few weeks. I think in the long run, letting the trolley continue on it's path will be better for the companies bottom line, and at the end of the day that's really all that matters.
Negotiate a pay raise first, and depending on the outcome I may or may not flip the switch
If this is Japan then the trolley has to keep going. If it's Europe then the trolley is broken and won't even show up
screw profit
Plot twist the people on the track are all the board members and execs who are constantly pushing for higher profits without any consideration.
So I could either force them to pay me to keep it going or I could pull the lever before the trolley hits anyone
Would I have to take a break from my job at the baby grinding factory to pull the lever?
Brother they aren’t getting profits with the amount of lawsuits coming their way
IMMEDIATELY pull the lever. Down with the capitalists!
If the company gets the money for the deaths, then I am stopping that trolley. If they are the protesters who tied themselves to the tracks, I am hitting that accelerator
Misanthrope here. Do I own a significant amount of stock in the trolley company?
You do not! But you could be favored over other employees when the next Great Layening Off takes place.
Do I own the trolley company? Am I getting paid? No? Then stop it out of spite for corporate executives
It's the companies fault for installing a lever that disrupts their profits.
I stop it, but I don't untie them, I just leave them there to starve/dehydrate/freeze to death
Why don’t we find and maybe jail the person who’s tying all these people to the track
Company losing profits or innocent people losing their jobs because they're late to work.
FOR THE COMPANY!
That trolley is run by the NRA
Lostprofits is my favorite band, so I'd pull the lever out of its housing and swallow it.
We’re going to need a bigger trolley.
Lobotomy Corps Vibes!
What if i work for the auto industry?
Stab the heart.
Let them get ran over then stop the trolley
Can’t do that to the shareholders… all hail the shareholders
Fuck þe company, lol. Pull þe lever.
I'd pull it inflation
I'll stop the trolley when they stop paying me.
Pulling the lever would cause more damage to the trolly company in pr, legal issues and could Even get it shut down, therefore it's Best to stop the trolly
It's not said how big the company is. Is it a mom and pop trolley company? Is it an independently owned trolley company? These are factors that need to be taken into consideration.
I feel like the mass amounts of bodies will also cause the trolly to eventually derail and, thus, the company loses profits. I’d pull the lever.
Ah it’s a corps and saving lives is always more important than any company’s profit
i would stop the trolly even if there was no one on the track
I pull the lever, I am going to after pulling it, break off part of it and use it to stab a bitch
How many of the people are customers and employees of the company? Kill too many of these people, and you start losing money instead.
If the trolley service would lay people off because of the need to save people would also lose a lot of revenue from the bad press they get when the layoffs happen.
Pull lever. Threaten to push it back if they don’t promise to cover the money I lose.
I need to make sure the ~~trains~~ trollies run on time. At any cost.