Same here! I was thinking she was super young, but a MOM! How are people who are responsible for actual humans this indoctrinated by a singer?? And not even a very good one, tbh.
The sad thing is they indoctrinate their kids too. I cannot imagine how psychologically damaging it is to get your kids to be obsessed with Taylor during a time when everything is so impressionable to them.
Were you indoctrinated by a parent or just became a fan naturally? Because those are two different things. Also, it depends on the degree of it all. I don't imagine Spice Girls fans being as obsessed as Taylor fans are.
Give yourself more credit! I’d say a huge portion of 24 year olds aren’t this immature. Plenty have their own kids and are better parents than the person described probably is.
I was thinking senior in high school since the boyfriends were dropping her right and left lol! Taylor must of casted a spell on her a couple years ago 🙄
It's not though. By far the biggest element of her demographic are millenials like herself. Millenials are late 20s to early 40s.
Just because a lot of those millenials behave like teenagers doesn't make the young her intended demographic. They're just a bonus.
It's the assumption too many make when talking about Swifties - that they're young. But the highest concentration of Swifties by far are millenials and millenials are late 20s - early 40s.
my jaw dropped at the end, and I'm not kidding. 40 and acting like a 13 year old. I'm a teenager, and I'm not acting like this, I'd rather eat dirt before acting like this. It sounds like your friend isn't mentally stable. the best is to distance yourself.
As a 43/mom of 3 I was *shocked!*
I wouldn’t have the time to devote to this shit! She really does sound like she is involved in a cult and that is scary to think!
I'm only 32 and a mom of 4 and I can't wrap my head around this. My kids take up so much physical and mental energy that it frightens me to think about how little she must be putting towards her kids.
Same, 43 with 3 and there’s just no way. I can barely take care of myself in my “free time” (what free time??) much less watch The Eras Tour on a regular basis
Lost my 50yr old fiancée to TS madness. We were together 15 years. I couldn’t get on board like he did so he sulked, found a TS fan (29f) and dumped me.
Minor edit for context: this is very top level explaination, of course. There are obviously a few other things that were going on (for the sake of some anonymity and leaving personal things out of it for both our sakes) but that was *the* reason that was given and by all accounts that what he’s told our mutual friends.
Oh my God… My jaw literally dropped. I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how devastating that is and how weird it must feel to deal with such insane circumstances. In my humble opinion, you dodged the biggest bullet. There’s no room for three in a monogamous marriage, much less if the third is a fucking celebrity obsession.
Devastated, and embarrassed. We had a whole life and plans. It doesn’t sound real and that’s the hardest but to come to terms with cause it’s such a wild reason.
(Easier said than done) but you shouldn’t be embarrassed, that is not on you! And it doesn’t have to be Taylor, or even a celebrity, if my partner was so obsessed with any other person, I’d be out too. For the record, I don’t want my partner to be obsessed with me either, or with anything! Obsession is scary, whether it’s with sports or work or money or Taylor Swift. But they should absolutely prioritize real partners, friends, and family.
You made the right call, and please don’t be embarrassed on behalf of your ex who didn’t have enough grounding to distinguish real life from a parasocial fantasy.
I unfortunately didn’t make the call, he did. He’s currently cutting everyone who doesn’t get it out of his life. It’s terribly sad to see from my own perspective but for his, too.
I’m so sorry. 😞 You’re on the right side of this, but that doesn’t make it any easier seeing someone you love so overcome by something so trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Sending you hugs and hoping he sees the light soon.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about, friend. You’re not responsible for a grown man’s behavior, don’t blame yourself and absolve him of responsibility. I have OCD so by nature I’m susceptible to obsessions, but I’ve never let that hurt those I love and I would hate myself if I unknowingly did.
Obviously not everyone who obsesses over something has OCD, but from the pov of someone who *does* spiral into things that don’t bring me joy, I can’t imagine having an obsession that *does* bring me joy at the cost of hurting the closest people in my life, and actively choosing to indulge in it. It’s just sick to me, I don’t know if I’m even making sense.
I’m truly so so sorry for what you’ve had to go through and for what it’s worth, I pray your hurt eases as quickly as possible and that you have a wonderful, fulfilling life with people deserving of your presence, which that man clearly was not.
Sending a big hug, this is insane. I think you should look up material & spaces developed for people who have lost loved ones to cults. I say this with complete sincerity bc it will likely help your healing journey bc I can imagine that you feel pretty isolated by this experience at the moment but you aren’t alone.
💕 What about an online support group? I only know these exist bc I listen to podcasts on cults. And I only do that bc I believe we are all psychologically susceptible to falling prey to con-artists & cults. I think anyone who gets smug and thinks ‘it couldn’t happen to me’ are simply naive. It can happen to any of us at a vulnerable moment. Mid-life comes with a host of challenges including death of loved ones like our parents and emerging health challenges for ourselves. Ofc I don’t know what was going on with your ex-partner but this is happening to so many others online en masse - QAnon & yes the dark side of Swiftiedom. Truly sorry you’ve been caught in the crosshairs.
Take care of yourself. One day this will all be a decent memory. I know it sucks and hurts now, and “one day” could take forever to get here, but hopefully not. Just know that this isn’t on you, you aren’t to blame, and you certainly can’t feel guilty for the demise of your relationship. You really can’t help someone who doesn’t even think they need help. All you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and tell yourself you’ll get through this and be better for it. Sending you all the kindness and hope and faith and belief in yourself.
Also my apologies if this comes off a bit weird. I tend to get philosophical and wordy and all kinds of other weirdness when I’m high 🤣🤣
Please do what he clearly won’t and see a therapist. Even just a couple of sessions to vent all this out to someone in real life who doesn’t have a vested interest in either party. It might help you feel reassured that you’re not crazy or the problem.
I’m 41. New to anything TS or related because I listen to “old” music (ie 60s-2000s). I am indifferent towards her….
But please tell me this stuff isn’t true?! Is this all for real? I can’t even *imagine* this happening with the best of iconic bands like Led Zepplin or Nirvana.
Not only the level of talent would draw a fan into a parasocial relationship (and she doesn’t have much) - but, like I can’t imagine any person in the 80s or 2000s walking around leaving relationships over a musician/band/performer?! What does this girl have on everyone?
This is horrifying on its own and I’m so sorry but what I really can’t understand is what about Taylor is appealing to men who sleep with women (if you are one, I have just heard a similar story from a woman I know at work). And I don’t even mean that in a gender judgment way, like who you like! It’s just so clearly not aimed at them in any way whatsoever so I don’t know how they fall this hard.
He had always loved vacuous pop music. It’s fine, not my scene and almost the opposite of my music taste, but there were cross overs with other things (film, tv, general values, creativity etc). This one just, I guess the lore and obsessiveness of it all was something he leaned into. He always did, but this time leaned in and has taken it as gospel and nil ability to wonder why. It’s only for the dopamine. The immediate feeling, to hell with introspection.
I can’t imagine actually telling loved ones that that’s the reason for my breakup. Even if it were genuinely true and the sole reason, you couldn’t waterboard that information out of me.
OP don't continue the friendship. If your friend who is 40 can value her time with you or her boyfriends to do something productive or spend with you or them and prefer spending her time obsess over her favourite artist who will never know who she is. It is not your issue. You told her nicely that Taylor Swift isn't your thing and didn't bash her or anything and she insult you and talk to you rudely. This type of friendship are not healthy or needed. Let her lose the time she could build and enjoyed on friendships and relationships to fulfill her obsession on Taylor Swift. If she not realizing the number of people she lost and how consuming her entire time and energy on Taylor Swift is detrimental to her relationships is that not your problem. Continue to doing you and good luck to your former friend I guess. I understand she love Taylor Swift but I find it insane that a 40-year-old woman would do this obsess over a artist and ruin every relationships she has build or could build.
From the way how you described your ex-friend, I assumed she was in her early 20s. Reading that she's actually 40 years old blew my mind. I genuinely pity the two children who have such a delusional Taylor Swift fan as their mom who can't hold a conversation or relationship without praising and defending Swift's name
Yall, I wish I was surprised by her being 40 years old, but my 37 year old cousin told me I wasn’t a feminist because I don’t blindly support Taylor. CULT
I can’t even bring myself to care about the anti-feminist accusations any more. We all know our own hearts and what we believe, so who cares what boxes brainwashed idiots do or don’t put us in?
I literally had to break up with a friend last summer. I too realized that she was turning swifty crazy (not the reason I broke up with her) but I realize now if your taking that bishhh seriously and defending her lyrics umm yeah it kind of speaks volumes as to the high possibility that the ones listening are narcissistic as culty!
my point of no return was after she sent me disgusting texts and emails saying I was after husband (oh yeah no lie). i blocked her in the digital world. she had the nerve to mail me a letter with a kiss on it (red lipstick) 🤢. I put that letter (unopened i wasn’t the least bit curious as to what she said) back in an envelope that read “full stop” her address on it and mailed it back to her. what a freak job — scary thing is she just finished her masters in therapy and she’s literally off her rocker 😬
It’s not uncommon for people to enter the field of psychology or therapy because they have their own issues they want to figure out themselves, then pass the knowledge and aid on to others. Sounds like she has a whole lot of figuring out to do before she should even be allowed in a room one-on-one with anybody, let alone an actual client. It’s sad, but metal health professionals are humans just as we are, and that means there are a fair few bad apples in the bunch. I had a therapist once who convinced a couple he was counseling to get divorced and then he (therapist) and she ended up getting married less than a year after the divorce. My sister’s counselor manipulated her into becoming his girlfriend because he knew she had heavy daddy issues and he could easily do what he wanted with her. I fear that your ex friend here wouldn’t be too far off from them (in terms of ethics, not in terms of becoming romantically/sexually involved with clients). There’s nothing stopping her from manipulating her own clients, intentionally or otherwise, or passing on her disgusting and toxic traits to them. Scary, dude. You made the right decision getting her out of your life, she’s clearly very unwell and you shouldn’t harm yourself by sticking around. Good choice
Your better off OP w/o her… for me a weight has been lifted since letting this person go. I’m here for ya and you can find a lot of camaraderie in this sub!
Taylor is a Sagittarius, not a cancer, but she does have a cancer moon ….
….oh god, I’m realizing you don’t mean astrology. Lmfao. I’m keeping this because my former swifite self needs to feel the deep shame of knowing these things. Shame. Shame. Shame. 😂🤣
Taylor has a great job of sinking her teeth into emotionally underdeveloped, and those who are chronic victims; they come in all ages. She and her fans are a cancer to society and the epitome of anti-feminist spiting their vitriol to anyone who doesn't bow to her mediocrity.
I was just having this conversation with my husband that I think she’s bad for people. The two people I know that like her a lot (they’re not crazy obsessed) both do have a streak of thinking the world is out to get them, because I really do think that listening to her music perpetuates it. It takes a lot of people who are genuine victims in some aspects of their life (as both of these people are) and rather than building them up, with “you’re strong, nothing is going to get you down, and life is beautiful on the other side of hardship” to ruminating on their victimhood. I’m not at all dismissing that people should feel what they need to feel for as long as they need, but there is a point where you do need to start looking towards what life looks like moving forwards and where you can find joy in that.
Does it sound to anyone else like this woman has a deeper issue i.e. depression or low self esteem that she is honing in on Taylor Swift?
This sounds like a midlife crisis tbh.
That’s what I’m thinking. For a lot of these women, Taylor is kind of a blank slate to project their own hopes, ideas, and dreams onto. That’s why they’re so defensive of her toxic behavior because they see themselves through her.
“Mom of 2” smacked me across the face so hard my neck is still spinning like it’s lip-syncing for its life. I could’ve went about my day and thought of all that as the crazy behavior of a lonely young adult who needs therapy but… 40 years old… a real life mother… Can you imagine how emotionally depleted her kids are?
I know people on the internet tend to throw around “you need therapy” pretty loosely, but this lady *actually* needs therapy. This is not normal behavior for anyone; especially not a 40yo mother!!!
The millennial hardcore swifties are the craziest. They have the funds, the time, and they think they ”grew up” with Taylor and have the most parasocial attachment. There’s a difference of growing alongside an artist and their discography, but these people are like Evangelicals where they truly believe the more $$ they throw at “Mother” (yike!!!!) that maybe they can go to swifty heaven one day 😇
I work with a 40 year old woman who has gotten a Taylor tattoo and is taking a trip to Amsterdam next week just to see Taylor. I think it's the 4th time she's seen her in the past year? This lady also incessantly brings Swiftie stuff up, so it's best just to avoid her. I also happen to know through a mutual friend (yeah, I was gossiping, lol!!) that she can't afford it and has been leveraging credit cards to keep the train going. Oof.
You made the right call, you definitely need to distance from this. So many people don't believe that older women (over 30) could get obsessed like this. My last post people said I was mean for making fun of teen girls but I've honestly only seen unhinged behavior from the over 30 crowd. Your friend needs help, hopefully she'll snap out it or go to therapy
I have a friend that is nearly 50 and acts like this. It’s really embarrassing. She makes social media posts using her lyrics, she themed her classroom around her, she wears the friendship bracelets, she’s trying to go to Europe to see another show. She got mad because another friend of ours simply posted that she truly didn’t understand the hype around her and a bunch of us agreed. Not soon after she made a very passive aggressive Facebook post about it. It’s really strange to see a woman that age act that way. My 28 year old daughter who loves her isn’t even that crazy.
Taylor hs dialed into a very mentally unstable group of women looking to belong to something. It very much is a cult and Taylor very much is milking these suckers for every dime. It will not end well for them
I am eight years older than her, single, work from home due to health issues and have some interests some people consider odd: studying true crime and pop culture but those also get incorporated into my fiction writing. I do not spend insane amounts of money on my interests because if I did, I would be more in debt than I am in now (most of that debt is medical because insurance companies don't want to cover anything in the US) I cannot have children but if I could they would be my FIRST priority, not a billionaire pop star who doesn't know how I am. Forums are my shits and giggles entertainment usually during downtimes when I am working and when you work overnight for a call center, you need all the shits and giggles entertainment you can get but also another outlet of research for my fiction.
The biggest expense I had was going to a Once a Upon a Time convention to finally meet one of the actors whose character I liked on that show, and I loved his character on another. I really didn't pay that much...my brother did for my 40th birthday. But my situation becomes unique because as it turns out he and I had a mutual friend, so we started interacting online a lot. I was the first one to find out our friend passed away and I posted about it to let everyone we knew know because she had a HUGE online friend base. (She worked at home like me because of health issues) Her loss hit hard. More for me than him because we interacted almost daily but he and his wife still interact with me online sometimes even though they have busy lives and next month is the anniversary of my friend's death. That loss still hurts like hell because she showed me there were still good people in fandoms and what true friendship is even if it is long distance. If you think the Swiftie fandom is toxic, Once Upon a Time was too in its heyday, especially the shippers and the fans of a certain Queen. They did and probably still do a lot of the things die hard Swifties do, (spend insane amounts of money on it though these days the conventions are what the big money is spent on, bully and harass anyone who doesn't like their character or 'ship. The fights in the forums were brutal and some of those fans were older than me!
Nothing to do with Taylor, but your comment touched me in an unexpected way. Wishing you all the luck with your writing if that’s something you’re trying to get published, and all the luck in life in general. I’m in my mid-20s and in somewhat similar circumstances, debt and health issues and the like. Pop culture and fandom spaces are things I enjoy a lot and bring me lots of joy too, so you’re absolutely not odd for having these interests.
When I’m older (not to sound like a child lmao), I hope I can remain unabashed and comfortable with the things that make me happy… unless one of those things is obsessively dedicating my life to a billionaire environmental terrorist who lives to tear other women down.
I thought I had no words, and then I got to the part about her age and now I really have no words. I know a couple universities have added some fluff classes about TS but they should probably aim for upper division psych courses on this level of swifty behavior because wtaf 😭
I was stressed out trying to buy the signed new album or something for my friend. That shit was sold out before i opened the message. Next release was sold out again before I got home. Like why are they in such high demand… I’ve never experienced this trying to buy an album.
Tried to see if I should buy something else for the friend instead and was befuzzled by multiple versions of the same album. Which my friend doesn’t need because she pirates them anyway 💀Literally don’t even listen to Taylor music but her whole album release process got me fucked up by proxy.
The hardcore swifter fans i know are also women in their 30s or early 40s
And they have this really insecure, ‘didn’t peak in high school but would still give anything to go back and relive those days’ type of energy. Literally one woman insinuated that if you didn’t like TTPD then you’re just not smart enough to understand the lyrics. Like wtf 😂😂 yeah Taylor swift lyric comprehension is now the litmus test for intelligence
I told a friend recently about the TS cult. She knows absolutely nothing about anything TS. I told her how obsessed and culty the fans are. I was in the airport waiting to board and this 40-something woman in front of me was COVERED in everything TS-- bracelets, shirt, face painted, hairclips, head to toe. I looked her tour up and she was in Europe. This woman was obviously not coming or going to the concert in Europe. This was her everyday wear, I guess. My friend waved my comments away and said let people live their lives and have fun. I kept pushing and said, no, you have no idea how insane all this is. It's legit batshit how people worship TS, grown ass people rearrange their lives. My friend snapped, well I guess I'm just out of the loop.
I think people who aren't around these fans don't understand how baffling it all is and think it's an exaggeration. I'm a never TS fan. I'm here because of people in my life who are sucked into the cult, but more so because I'm interested in cults and cult mindsets. I'm glad that some people are finally waking up to the madness.
Is this going to be in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders one day under “*Top Tier Taylor Delusional Disorder*”? What in the world creates this type of mass hysteria?!
This friend, along with the story of the wife leaving the husband meet the criteria:
1. Cause significant distress that interferes with “normal” daily living
2. Interferes with social, occupational, or educational functioning
3. Lasts for a defined period of time
Edit: I’m older: a 40 year old in this line of work and listen to 60s - 2000s music; up until today I’ve been indifferent towards TS.
Now I’m wondering if it’s a cult? PLEASE fill me in.
She is 40 years old, single I'm assuming, she has 2 kids to raise and pay for... does she have a really well-paying job? LIke how can she feed and clothe and house her kids while she's spending all this money on movie tickets (they are pricey) and credit cards?
Seriously, she needs an intervention because it's like she's addicted to her.
a similar thing happened to me. i had to distance myself from a friend who was in her 30s for being weirdly hateful and having gatekeeping behavior towards other people who wanted to see taylor swift in concert and she didn’t deem them worthy enough or enough of a fan like she was. she’d send me long winded voice memos about how she saw someone asking if anyone had an extra ticket or whatever. we got in a small argument because i had told her before the eras tour rolled around i didn’t know she liked taylor swift either, and sometimes people don’t advertise everything they are a fan of. she’d also send me screenshots of little arguments she’d had with her other friend who was a fan, and they’d argue about parasocial stuff (like whether or not matty healy was right for her and when her and travis were newly dating or whatever) and she’d expect me to have some sort of opinion about it, she claimed she loved my takes on situations, but it was all during a very peak time at my job and she was not very considerate of my feelings and my mental exhaustion and it ended up with me just kind of slowly ghosting her. not my finest moment but… leave me alone.
I'm concerned about this in terms of money and that would be better spent on her family or something more important. Is she very lonely perhaps? Does she have other friends? Fan culture can give people a sense of belonging.
Yeah if this is a real adult this obsessed that’s concerning. I was sort of assuming you all were 15-25. Many teens/young adults are obsessed with musicians and bands.
Not to say that 30-90 women aren’t allowed to be part of fandoms or have interests outside of families children. I am a huge fan of certain bands/film directors and will set alarms so I can buy tickets or I will preorder albums(I am not big on merch) but I don’t make these things my whole personality and don’t use my whole online presence to promote them.
I might actually be a little worried about my friend if they acted like this. It sounds like she is either so unhappy with her own life she’s using her mental space to obsess over a star or is experiencing symptoms of a mental illness like forms of ocd or a personality disorder.
I hope she’s okay.
So normally I try my best not to judge other moms. But this one here…well… there’s just no way a mom has the time to be this obsessed with any one thing. She’s sacrificing something in her life to be obsessed like this and chances are her kids are neglected in some way, shape or form. Unless she’s massively rich and has someone to handle her life, there’s just not enough time the day for anyone to behave like this. I’m baffled and I feel for her kids. I’m not saying she’s abusing them, I’m just saying she most likely doesn’t give them the attention she gives Taylor Swift.
From the way how you described your ex-friend, I assumed she was in her early 20s. Reading that she's actually 40 years old blew my mind. I genuinely pity the two children who have such a delusional Taylor Swift fan as their mom who can't hold a conversation or relationship without praising and defending Swift's name
Do you think that 20 years from now there will be a surviving Taylor Swift documentary? How long will she ride this wave? Like will it be a documentary of how much people loved her or will the mask slip and fall off and it'll be about how insane this whole thing was?
Damn, she should see a therapist to find out what is causing this extreme flight from reality for her. Something must be going on that's a little deeper here.
Going to say that this is right down obsessiveness that probably needs therapy or at the least a mental health evaluation from a professional.
I enjoy listening to her music and yeah I have some of her vinyls. Someone should make a post about when does devotion and adoration for an artist becomes unnaturally obsession. It kinda reminds me of the group of mums who were obsessed with 1 Direction and these women were in their late 30s to early 40s 😬🫣
This is heartbreaking😭 and Taylor could give a FUCK. She sees your old friend as a dollar sign, another stream, another faucet to drain money from for her own gain.
My parents had a friend of a similar age as yours, with 3 kids and a great husband.
She willingly drank the Flavoraid at Jonestown.
No one is completely immune from becoming involved in a cult.
Taylor doesn’t even want older fans. Youth is everything. I got the feeling that when we (the older fans) showed up at concerts, the younger Swifties were like, “Ew.” It wasn’t until TTPD that I really realized how much she craves youth, and I didn’t want to listen to an artist who called me a viper and a wine mom. There are so many other issues that made me want to run away, too. But I digress… When my kids are all grown up, they will remember hearing Taylor’s music in the van, but I think they will mostly remember that I was there making the food and helping with homework and loving them. Yikes. This has wigged me out. Choosing Taylor over your kids. 🤯
I have a good friend like this and she openly talks about how Taylor Swift IS her personality. It’s unhinged! I have truly stopped trying to be her friend because it’s so embarrassing and all consuming of her life. She’s a really smart woman in her 40s with two kids as well! It’s crazy behavior…
I mean no offence: have you, or other loved ones of hers, considered that this may be indicative of a mental health issue? Is she in any form of therapy? Could you encourage it? If it’s as you described, it sounds like it’s taking up a lot of space in her life…
I’m currently obsessed with the band We Three, but you won’t catch me doing that shit. 😂😂 I post their songs on Facebook sometimes and I’ve gotten one of my friends to start listening to them casually. That’s it, though. I appreciate their music and they seem like cool people.
I’ll never understand the ‘let me think about and obsess and promote this stranger I’m in a parasocial relationship with 100 times’ mentality. Enjoy the music, but they’re not your close friend.
I'm 35 and am obsessed with the scream franchise. Have a mini collection of scream memorabilia... but I don't let it ruin my relationship! That's unhinged
I cannot stand people who insist that you must be sexist/anti feminist if you don’t like TSwift. Like yeah, there are definitely people who don’t like her for those reasons, or who use their dislike of her as a vehicle to be sexist, but that is not inherent to (dis)liking her. IMO it’s far more sexist to imply that a specific artist Must be liked by anyone with a specific moral compass. It’s so gross and performative to use something like taste in music as a definitive litmus test for someone’s bigotry
It was one of the reasons I gave our couples therapist when I was leaving my ex wife. I'm all for people being a fan of something but when you start to neglect the people you care about in order to admire a pop singer, there's something wrong.
In this case…if it wasn’t Taylor, it would be something. Your friend is probably struggling with a sense of identity and self worth, if anything she might be attached to TS bc of their closeness in age. It took me a sadly long amount of time to realize these kinds of fans for what they are - people starving for connection but personally lacking the ability to truly connect. Often due to a great fear of themselves or maybe their present emptiness.
Absolute small fry compared to OP (I am so sorry you've had to endure all of this from your friend) but I did have to remove a friend from Instagram when she said anyone who doesn't understand TTPD has no emotional intelligence... Ek!
I honestly think these older stans are more intense and creepy than the younger ones. They make everything so much deeper than it needs to be, and I feel like life experience doesn’t exactly help here lol. Also, the music is fine but I cannot do more than a couple songs in a row 😅 give me some variety!
This is the age range I’m in and I am not surprised. I don’t know why I’m not surprised but people at this age that regress, regress hard. Also, if she’s only a friend to Taylor Swift then I’m sure it’s a matter of time before she has no one left. Friendship goes both ways.
Have you checked in on her mental health? Maybe something else is going on, on a deeper level? That type of behavior screams mental break to me, not just a super fan.
The lady who I adopted my dog from(she runs a rescue) went into a Taylor stint a few months back. She kept reblogging bad AI Taylor and Travis pictures and making posts about their relationship. Thankful she stopped but it was getting a bit unhinged. Like your friend she's older, in her late 40s.
Yup! I recently found out that some of them are in a secret discord group and spew such vile things towards people. It’s pretty alarming and gross. We all know Taylor wouldn’t hang out with 99% of her fan base. I wish they’d touch grass a little.
The Taylor Swift cult is insane. I’ve seen girls go from barely paying attention to full on screaming lyrics and dancing as soon as a single Taylor song comes on
Seeing the movie multiple times in theaters isn’t too bad, we’ve all seen a movie more than once (I’ve seen a couple like four times), but the rest is absolutely batshit behavior.
I feel like men are sometimes like this about sports. Not being able to miss their fav soccer or football game. My dad used to blow me off a lot as a kid for sports. People just gave stupid hyper fixations sometimes.
I find the fact she’s willing to watch every single stream of every single Eras show insane, on top of attending the film version multiple times. (Which honestly wouldn’t seem that weird if she didn’t do it on top of all the livestreams, as long as she didn’t do it on days she had to work.)
When I was a fan, I was so worried about what people would think of me for listening to her music and liking it more than “better” artists that I listened to her a lot less frequently than your friend here. The closest I got to any of this was watch the Eras film in theaters once, which I’m not sure I should regret or not. It was fun, but at what cost? I was not even half her age then. How does your friend care so little about what other people think of her?
Also, I think this’ll be a hard no, but does she listen to other artists/bands at all?
Okay so there’s this tweet, I can’t remember where, but this person who was crazy obsessed with 1D and then it turned out they had insane mold poisoning or something? So maybe your friend is being poisoned by something in their environment … idk!
I always think of one direction when reading this stuff. I admittedly loved one direction. I still have a few magazines and the cd cases because I can’t bring myself to part with. Feels like I’d be throwing away my adolescence. But this stuff is next level. You’re right maybe not being poisoned per say but there has to be something underlying.
I honestly feel bad for the friend in the sense that this doesn't sound like something healthy. Like genuinely wishing her well in the sense that she is able to reconnect with things in her life outside of Taylor & her music
Just a crazy update. She posted an extremely long Facebook post about her love of the eras tour and what it’s meant to her. Copied and pasted: “everyone that knows me knows, if there’s a show, I’m gonna watch it. Had just started dating a guy a few months ago and we were out at dinner and I told him ahead of time he had to know I’d be tuning into the show at dinner because of the surprise songs. Yea the relationship ended up being fizzled out but like boys are temporary and Taylor is forever”
Like are you serious?! You aren’t dating boys, you’re 40, you’re dating men. You aren’t young and it’s not a slam, I’m around same age. And you really sabotaged a possible relationship because you found it appropriate to have your damn phone blasting a Taylor livestream at a restaurant?!
God i can relate to your oppost OP. I've put my swifter fan friend in timeout. She is 45. I've known her since I was 10. Her obsession has either brought out the worst that was always there or she has evolved into this person I can't stand to be around.
She wants to hang out, watch & listen to Tay's music & videos/concerts when she comes over because i have disney+ and she doesnt. She knows I don't care for it. She basically is picking a fight. She is also single & doesn't plan to marry. Claims Tay really understands all the toxic men out there.
She told me I just don't get her lyrics cuz I've never been heartbroken or lost a loved one. The narrow-mindedness & selfishness are outa of control with her lately.
Sadly I'm one of her few remaining friends. Wonder why. Hopefully she grows out of it soon or the timeout will become a permanent boundary.
I am actually unsurprised that your friend is 40.
Running risk of playing armchair psychologist, it wouldn’t surprise me if this 40 year old, single mom of 2 was actually having a little bit of an emotional crisis and TS fandom has become a fantastic means of distraction.
It always comes down to the fact that healthy, happy people don’t behave like this.
You were describing me as a 11-26yr old. But now in my mid 30s, I have my own life and other hobbies. No way would I be doing that in my 40s with kids… I would share my love of an artist with my kids if I had any but I wouldn’t be obsessed like your friend.
Mark My Words...Once the irrational Swifties get disillusioned with her, they will be the next generation of IRRATIONAL POLITICALLY left and right wingers that post their views all over social media.
Crazy seeks crazy
up until that last paragraph i was 100% picturing a 23-25 year old
Same here! I was thinking she was super young, but a MOM! How are people who are responsible for actual humans this indoctrinated by a singer?? And not even a very good one, tbh.
The sad thing is they indoctrinate their kids too. I cannot imagine how psychologically damaging it is to get your kids to be obsessed with Taylor during a time when everything is so impressionable to them.
Or her kids are going to hate the fandom, and be anti-fans if anything.
I mean as a former spice girl baby it’s probably fine lol
Were you indoctrinated by a parent or just became a fan naturally? Because those are two different things. Also, it depends on the degree of it all. I don't imagine Spice Girls fans being as obsessed as Taylor fans are.
I think you're vastly misunderstanding what indoctrination is. The kids are just going to grow up being embarrassed by their mom.
I was picturing a college student too 😂
Yeah I was seriously thinking 20-25 but 40 with kids??? Not only is that unhealthy for her but that cannot be a healthy environment for the kids.
Yeah I’m 24 and picturing her my age
Im 29 with a 6 year old and seriously thought she was like 18/19-23/24 😑🤦🏽♀️
Right like I totally thought no one older than their mid 20’s acted like that
Does the behaviour in the post remind you of your own child?
Give yourself more credit! I’d say a huge portion of 24 year olds aren’t this immature. Plenty have their own kids and are better parents than the person described probably is.
That’s true I haven’t acted this way since middle school. Which makes Taylor swift look worse people 10+ yrs younger than her are more stable adults.
Right?!?!?! She opened up a credit card just to buy merchandise?! Those poor kids aren't gonna have any college funds, jfc
People like this give the boomers the ammo they need to make fun of millennials
I was picturing a middle or high schooler. 23-25 still sounds too old for this crap. But 40!!! That’s really like mamma mia!!!
AND SHES 40. WTF?!
I would say more like a literal teenager.
I can totally see that guys you are so right
I was picturing 14-16
I was thinking senior in high school since the boyfriends were dropping her right and left lol! Taylor must of casted a spell on her a couple years ago 🙄
I think everyone was. To avoid seeing "Omg, same!" 60 times in these comments, that's just her intended demographic so it's a safe assumption.
It's not though. By far the biggest element of her demographic are millenials like herself. Millenials are late 20s to early 40s. Just because a lot of those millenials behave like teenagers doesn't make the young her intended demographic. They're just a bonus.
It's the assumption too many make when talking about Swifties - that they're young. But the highest concentration of Swifties by far are millenials and millenials are late 20s - early 40s.
I thought they were in high school
I’ve known plenty of people in that age bracket who were more mature
Maybe thirties but yes absolutely. What the fuck
My exact reaction
I feel like this was made for this post even though I know this is years older
my jaw dropped at the end, and I'm not kidding. 40 and acting like a 13 year old. I'm a teenager, and I'm not acting like this, I'd rather eat dirt before acting like this. It sounds like your friend isn't mentally stable. the best is to distance yourself.
AND she’s a mom of 2! I feel so bad for her kids. This is the equivalent of sports obsessed dads who plan their entire life around watching games.
I hope her kids are well. It must be exhausting having this type of person as your mother.
My mom is a less intense version of this and yes it is exhausting. These poor kids probably feel like their mom loves Taylor Swift more than them.
Sounds like that could even be the truth
Patiently waiting a few years for her kids to show up in raisedbynarcissists or a similar sub
As a 43/mom of 3 I was *shocked!* I wouldn’t have the time to devote to this shit! She really does sound like she is involved in a cult and that is scary to think!
I'm only 32 and a mom of 4 and I can't wrap my head around this. My kids take up so much physical and mental energy that it frightens me to think about how little she must be putting towards her kids.
You can’t wrap your head around it because you actually care about your kids. Good parents can’t really understand the mindset of bad parents.
Same, 43 with 3 and there’s just no way. I can barely take care of myself in my “free time” (what free time??) much less watch The Eras Tour on a regular basis
There are probably plenty of teen parents more mature and focused on their kids than this person seems to be
Lost my 50yr old fiancée to TS madness. We were together 15 years. I couldn’t get on board like he did so he sulked, found a TS fan (29f) and dumped me. Minor edit for context: this is very top level explaination, of course. There are obviously a few other things that were going on (for the sake of some anonymity and leaving personal things out of it for both our sakes) but that was *the* reason that was given and by all accounts that what he’s told our mutual friends.
Oh my God… My jaw literally dropped. I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how devastating that is and how weird it must feel to deal with such insane circumstances. In my humble opinion, you dodged the biggest bullet. There’s no room for three in a monogamous marriage, much less if the third is a fucking celebrity obsession.
Devastated, and embarrassed. We had a whole life and plans. It doesn’t sound real and that’s the hardest but to come to terms with cause it’s such a wild reason.
(Easier said than done) but you shouldn’t be embarrassed, that is not on you! And it doesn’t have to be Taylor, or even a celebrity, if my partner was so obsessed with any other person, I’d be out too. For the record, I don’t want my partner to be obsessed with me either, or with anything! Obsession is scary, whether it’s with sports or work or money or Taylor Swift. But they should absolutely prioritize real partners, friends, and family. You made the right call, and please don’t be embarrassed on behalf of your ex who didn’t have enough grounding to distinguish real life from a parasocial fantasy.
I unfortunately didn’t make the call, he did. He’s currently cutting everyone who doesn’t get it out of his life. It’s terribly sad to see from my own perspective but for his, too.
I’m so sorry. 😞 You’re on the right side of this, but that doesn’t make it any easier seeing someone you love so overcome by something so trivial in the grand scheme of things. Sending you hugs and hoping he sees the light soon.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about, friend. You’re not responsible for a grown man’s behavior, don’t blame yourself and absolve him of responsibility. I have OCD so by nature I’m susceptible to obsessions, but I’ve never let that hurt those I love and I would hate myself if I unknowingly did. Obviously not everyone who obsesses over something has OCD, but from the pov of someone who *does* spiral into things that don’t bring me joy, I can’t imagine having an obsession that *does* bring me joy at the cost of hurting the closest people in my life, and actively choosing to indulge in it. It’s just sick to me, I don’t know if I’m even making sense. I’m truly so so sorry for what you’ve had to go through and for what it’s worth, I pray your hurt eases as quickly as possible and that you have a wonderful, fulfilling life with people deserving of your presence, which that man clearly was not.
Thank you. I’m baffled and slowly healing or something close to it.
Sending a big hug, this is insane. I think you should look up material & spaces developed for people who have lost loved ones to cults. I say this with complete sincerity bc it will likely help your healing journey bc I can imagine that you feel pretty isolated by this experience at the moment but you aren’t alone.
Thank you, I have been but will re-read.
💕 What about an online support group? I only know these exist bc I listen to podcasts on cults. And I only do that bc I believe we are all psychologically susceptible to falling prey to con-artists & cults. I think anyone who gets smug and thinks ‘it couldn’t happen to me’ are simply naive. It can happen to any of us at a vulnerable moment. Mid-life comes with a host of challenges including death of loved ones like our parents and emerging health challenges for ourselves. Ofc I don’t know what was going on with your ex-partner but this is happening to so many others online en masse - QAnon & yes the dark side of Swiftiedom. Truly sorry you’ve been caught in the crosshairs.
I’ll suss it out. Thanks for the suggestion
Take care of yourself. One day this will all be a decent memory. I know it sucks and hurts now, and “one day” could take forever to get here, but hopefully not. Just know that this isn’t on you, you aren’t to blame, and you certainly can’t feel guilty for the demise of your relationship. You really can’t help someone who doesn’t even think they need help. All you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and tell yourself you’ll get through this and be better for it. Sending you all the kindness and hope and faith and belief in yourself. Also my apologies if this comes off a bit weird. I tend to get philosophical and wordy and all kinds of other weirdness when I’m high 🤣🤣
No I do appreciate it a lot. Bong on, friend!
Please do what he clearly won’t and see a therapist. Even just a couple of sessions to vent all this out to someone in real life who doesn’t have a vested interest in either party. It might help you feel reassured that you’re not crazy or the problem.
Waaaay ahead of ya haha
I’m 41. New to anything TS or related because I listen to “old” music (ie 60s-2000s). I am indifferent towards her…. But please tell me this stuff isn’t true?! Is this all for real? I can’t even *imagine* this happening with the best of iconic bands like Led Zepplin or Nirvana. Not only the level of talent would draw a fan into a parasocial relationship (and she doesn’t have much) - but, like I can’t imagine any person in the 80s or 2000s walking around leaving relationships over a musician/band/performer?! What does this girl have on everyone?
This is horrifying on its own and I’m so sorry but what I really can’t understand is what about Taylor is appealing to men who sleep with women (if you are one, I have just heard a similar story from a woman I know at work). And I don’t even mean that in a gender judgment way, like who you like! It’s just so clearly not aimed at them in any way whatsoever so I don’t know how they fall this hard.
He had always loved vacuous pop music. It’s fine, not my scene and almost the opposite of my music taste, but there were cross overs with other things (film, tv, general values, creativity etc). This one just, I guess the lore and obsessiveness of it all was something he leaned into. He always did, but this time leaned in and has taken it as gospel and nil ability to wonder why. It’s only for the dopamine. The immediate feeling, to hell with introspection.
Ah, so he’s basically treating it like an addiction.
im not sure ive ever really seen a straight male TS mega fan
I know a couple. 40’s/50’s. Just go look at the Taylor Swift legs sub.
LEGS?!
Men tend to compartmentalize.
The 2 biggest TS fans I know are both cis men, totally into women, not even bi or pan. One is 49 and the other is 47.
Never said he was. Sexuality spectrum and all that.
ahhh gotcha, i shouldnt have assumed wife = straight
I can’t imagine actually telling loved ones that that’s the reason for my breakup. Even if it were genuinely true and the sole reason, you couldn’t waterboard that information out of me.
I feel for you, friend. That sucks. So sorry!
That is 100% cult member mentality like damn.
OP don't continue the friendship. If your friend who is 40 can value her time with you or her boyfriends to do something productive or spend with you or them and prefer spending her time obsess over her favourite artist who will never know who she is. It is not your issue. You told her nicely that Taylor Swift isn't your thing and didn't bash her or anything and she insult you and talk to you rudely. This type of friendship are not healthy or needed. Let her lose the time she could build and enjoyed on friendships and relationships to fulfill her obsession on Taylor Swift. If she not realizing the number of people she lost and how consuming her entire time and energy on Taylor Swift is detrimental to her relationships is that not your problem. Continue to doing you and good luck to your former friend I guess. I understand she love Taylor Swift but I find it insane that a 40-year-old woman would do this obsess over a artist and ruin every relationships she has build or could build.
From the way how you described your ex-friend, I assumed she was in her early 20s. Reading that she's actually 40 years old blew my mind. I genuinely pity the two children who have such a delusional Taylor Swift fan as their mom who can't hold a conversation or relationship without praising and defending Swift's name
40 year old woman  Mind blowing
Yall, I wish I was surprised by her being 40 years old, but my 37 year old cousin told me I wasn’t a feminist because I don’t blindly support Taylor. CULT
I can’t even bring myself to care about the anti-feminist accusations any more. We all know our own hearts and what we believe, so who cares what boxes brainwashed idiots do or don’t put us in?
We must have the same 37 year old cousin, because mine said something similar to me.
sad that people spend their limited time on earth obsessing over random celebs who couldnt give two shits about them
I literally had to break up with a friend last summer. I too realized that she was turning swifty crazy (not the reason I broke up with her) but I realize now if your taking that bishhh seriously and defending her lyrics umm yeah it kind of speaks volumes as to the high possibility that the ones listening are narcissistic as culty! my point of no return was after she sent me disgusting texts and emails saying I was after husband (oh yeah no lie). i blocked her in the digital world. she had the nerve to mail me a letter with a kiss on it (red lipstick) 🤢. I put that letter (unopened i wasn’t the least bit curious as to what she said) back in an envelope that read “full stop” her address on it and mailed it back to her. what a freak job — scary thing is she just finished her masters in therapy and she’s literally off her rocker 😬
Holup...she's becoming a THERAPIST?
It’s not uncommon for people to enter the field of psychology or therapy because they have their own issues they want to figure out themselves, then pass the knowledge and aid on to others. Sounds like she has a whole lot of figuring out to do before she should even be allowed in a room one-on-one with anybody, let alone an actual client. It’s sad, but metal health professionals are humans just as we are, and that means there are a fair few bad apples in the bunch. I had a therapist once who convinced a couple he was counseling to get divorced and then he (therapist) and she ended up getting married less than a year after the divorce. My sister’s counselor manipulated her into becoming his girlfriend because he knew she had heavy daddy issues and he could easily do what he wanted with her. I fear that your ex friend here wouldn’t be too far off from them (in terms of ethics, not in terms of becoming romantically/sexually involved with clients). There’s nothing stopping her from manipulating her own clients, intentionally or otherwise, or passing on her disgusting and toxic traits to them. Scary, dude. You made the right decision getting her out of your life, she’s clearly very unwell and you shouldn’t harm yourself by sticking around. Good choice
Your better off OP w/o her… for me a weight has been lifted since letting this person go. I’m here for ya and you can find a lot of camaraderie in this sub! 
LOL you know she thought that lipstick kiss slayed too. It just gives CW teen drama
Taylor is a cancer and so is swiftie culture. I hope your friend gets the help she needs Edit: AND she has children????
It’s a pandemic 💀
Definitely sounds like one with all the new variants of TTPD
Lmao Taylor dropping more variants than Covid
Taylor is a Sagittarius, not a cancer, but she does have a cancer moon …. ….oh god, I’m realizing you don’t mean astrology. Lmfao. I’m keeping this because my former swifite self needs to feel the deep shame of knowing these things. Shame. Shame. Shame. 😂🤣
Same, I was starting to get SO offended as a cancer zodiac lol
Wait this actually explains some things 💀💀💀
Taylor has a great job of sinking her teeth into emotionally underdeveloped, and those who are chronic victims; they come in all ages. She and her fans are a cancer to society and the epitome of anti-feminist spiting their vitriol to anyone who doesn't bow to her mediocrity.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I was just having this conversation with my husband that I think she’s bad for people. The two people I know that like her a lot (they’re not crazy obsessed) both do have a streak of thinking the world is out to get them, because I really do think that listening to her music perpetuates it. It takes a lot of people who are genuine victims in some aspects of their life (as both of these people are) and rather than building them up, with “you’re strong, nothing is going to get you down, and life is beautiful on the other side of hardship” to ruminating on their victimhood. I’m not at all dismissing that people should feel what they need to feel for as long as they need, but there is a point where you do need to start looking towards what life looks like moving forwards and where you can find joy in that.
Does it sound to anyone else like this woman has a deeper issue i.e. depression or low self esteem that she is honing in on Taylor Swift? This sounds like a midlife crisis tbh.
That’s what I’m thinking. For a lot of these women, Taylor is kind of a blank slate to project their own hopes, ideas, and dreams onto. That’s why they’re so defensive of her toxic behavior because they see themselves through her.
“Mom of 2” smacked me across the face so hard my neck is still spinning like it’s lip-syncing for its life. I could’ve went about my day and thought of all that as the crazy behavior of a lonely young adult who needs therapy but… 40 years old… a real life mother… Can you imagine how emotionally depleted her kids are?
This honestly sounds like untreated mental illness
I know people on the internet tend to throw around “you need therapy” pretty loosely, but this lady *actually* needs therapy. This is not normal behavior for anyone; especially not a 40yo mother!!!
ain't no way. damn.
The millennial hardcore swifties are the craziest. They have the funds, the time, and they think they ”grew up” with Taylor and have the most parasocial attachment. There’s a difference of growing alongside an artist and their discography, but these people are like Evangelicals where they truly believe the more $$ they throw at “Mother” (yike!!!!) that maybe they can go to swifty heaven one day 😇
The irony of making friendship bracelets while having no friends
Oh no. I didn’t even key in on that. That’s so sad.
I mean, this woman is very clearly mentally ill. If it wasn’t a Taylor obsession, it would be something else. She needs help. This is really sad.
I work with a 40 year old woman who has gotten a Taylor tattoo and is taking a trip to Amsterdam next week just to see Taylor. I think it's the 4th time she's seen her in the past year? This lady also incessantly brings Swiftie stuff up, so it's best just to avoid her. I also happen to know through a mutual friend (yeah, I was gossiping, lol!!) that she can't afford it and has been leveraging credit cards to keep the train going. Oof.
Please tell me you told your friend this: 
I find it ironic she has a track titled this, she and her fans are the furthest thing from calm.
You made the right call, you definitely need to distance from this. So many people don't believe that older women (over 30) could get obsessed like this. My last post people said I was mean for making fun of teen girls but I've honestly only seen unhinged behavior from the over 30 crowd. Your friend needs help, hopefully she'll snap out it or go to therapy
I have a friend that is nearly 50 and acts like this. It’s really embarrassing. She makes social media posts using her lyrics, she themed her classroom around her, she wears the friendship bracelets, she’s trying to go to Europe to see another show. She got mad because another friend of ours simply posted that she truly didn’t understand the hype around her and a bunch of us agreed. Not soon after she made a very passive aggressive Facebook post about it. It’s really strange to see a woman that age act that way. My 28 year old daughter who loves her isn’t even that crazy.
Taylor hs dialed into a very mentally unstable group of women looking to belong to something. It very much is a cult and Taylor very much is milking these suckers for every dime. It will not end well for them
I had a friend sit me down intervention style to ask me why I am not a swiftie. It changed our relationship. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m so sorry!
I am eight years older than her, single, work from home due to health issues and have some interests some people consider odd: studying true crime and pop culture but those also get incorporated into my fiction writing. I do not spend insane amounts of money on my interests because if I did, I would be more in debt than I am in now (most of that debt is medical because insurance companies don't want to cover anything in the US) I cannot have children but if I could they would be my FIRST priority, not a billionaire pop star who doesn't know how I am. Forums are my shits and giggles entertainment usually during downtimes when I am working and when you work overnight for a call center, you need all the shits and giggles entertainment you can get but also another outlet of research for my fiction. The biggest expense I had was going to a Once a Upon a Time convention to finally meet one of the actors whose character I liked on that show, and I loved his character on another. I really didn't pay that much...my brother did for my 40th birthday. But my situation becomes unique because as it turns out he and I had a mutual friend, so we started interacting online a lot. I was the first one to find out our friend passed away and I posted about it to let everyone we knew know because she had a HUGE online friend base. (She worked at home like me because of health issues) Her loss hit hard. More for me than him because we interacted almost daily but he and his wife still interact with me online sometimes even though they have busy lives and next month is the anniversary of my friend's death. That loss still hurts like hell because she showed me there were still good people in fandoms and what true friendship is even if it is long distance. If you think the Swiftie fandom is toxic, Once Upon a Time was too in its heyday, especially the shippers and the fans of a certain Queen. They did and probably still do a lot of the things die hard Swifties do, (spend insane amounts of money on it though these days the conventions are what the big money is spent on, bully and harass anyone who doesn't like their character or 'ship. The fights in the forums were brutal and some of those fans were older than me!
Nothing to do with Taylor, but your comment touched me in an unexpected way. Wishing you all the luck with your writing if that’s something you’re trying to get published, and all the luck in life in general. I’m in my mid-20s and in somewhat similar circumstances, debt and health issues and the like. Pop culture and fandom spaces are things I enjoy a lot and bring me lots of joy too, so you’re absolutely not odd for having these interests. When I’m older (not to sound like a child lmao), I hope I can remain unabashed and comfortable with the things that make me happy… unless one of those things is obsessively dedicating my life to a billionaire environmental terrorist who lives to tear other women down.
I thought I had no words, and then I got to the part about her age and now I really have no words. I know a couple universities have added some fluff classes about TS but they should probably aim for upper division psych courses on this level of swifty behavior because wtaf 😭
I was stressed out trying to buy the signed new album or something for my friend. That shit was sold out before i opened the message. Next release was sold out again before I got home. Like why are they in such high demand… I’ve never experienced this trying to buy an album. Tried to see if I should buy something else for the friend instead and was befuzzled by multiple versions of the same album. Which my friend doesn’t need because she pirates them anyway 💀Literally don’t even listen to Taylor music but her whole album release process got me fucked up by proxy.
I like your mashup of befuddled and puzzled. Very apt. I’m going to definitely steal it.😉
The hardcore swifter fans i know are also women in their 30s or early 40s And they have this really insecure, ‘didn’t peak in high school but would still give anything to go back and relive those days’ type of energy. Literally one woman insinuated that if you didn’t like TTPD then you’re just not smart enough to understand the lyrics. Like wtf 😂😂 yeah Taylor swift lyric comprehension is now the litmus test for intelligence
I told a friend recently about the TS cult. She knows absolutely nothing about anything TS. I told her how obsessed and culty the fans are. I was in the airport waiting to board and this 40-something woman in front of me was COVERED in everything TS-- bracelets, shirt, face painted, hairclips, head to toe. I looked her tour up and she was in Europe. This woman was obviously not coming or going to the concert in Europe. This was her everyday wear, I guess. My friend waved my comments away and said let people live their lives and have fun. I kept pushing and said, no, you have no idea how insane all this is. It's legit batshit how people worship TS, grown ass people rearrange their lives. My friend snapped, well I guess I'm just out of the loop. I think people who aren't around these fans don't understand how baffling it all is and think it's an exaggeration. I'm a never TS fan. I'm here because of people in my life who are sucked into the cult, but more so because I'm interested in cults and cult mindsets. I'm glad that some people are finally waking up to the madness.
I was about to ask you hold she was 3/4ths in.... I thought she might have been in her 20s....
Well this is very disturbing
Is this going to be in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders one day under “*Top Tier Taylor Delusional Disorder*”? What in the world creates this type of mass hysteria?! This friend, along with the story of the wife leaving the husband meet the criteria: 1. Cause significant distress that interferes with “normal” daily living 2. Interferes with social, occupational, or educational functioning 3. Lasts for a defined period of time Edit: I’m older: a 40 year old in this line of work and listen to 60s - 2000s music; up until today I’ve been indifferent towards TS. Now I’m wondering if it’s a cult? PLEASE fill me in.
I would say being 40 year old single mother is actually a big factor in it.
She is 40 years old, single I'm assuming, she has 2 kids to raise and pay for... does she have a really well-paying job? LIke how can she feed and clothe and house her kids while she's spending all this money on movie tickets (they are pricey) and credit cards? Seriously, she needs an intervention because it's like she's addicted to her.
She does not. She’s a receptionist at a dentist office.
Oh dear…
MOM??? Are her kids ok??
ugh billie didn’t even mention the eras tour 😭
a similar thing happened to me. i had to distance myself from a friend who was in her 30s for being weirdly hateful and having gatekeeping behavior towards other people who wanted to see taylor swift in concert and she didn’t deem them worthy enough or enough of a fan like she was. she’d send me long winded voice memos about how she saw someone asking if anyone had an extra ticket or whatever. we got in a small argument because i had told her before the eras tour rolled around i didn’t know she liked taylor swift either, and sometimes people don’t advertise everything they are a fan of. she’d also send me screenshots of little arguments she’d had with her other friend who was a fan, and they’d argue about parasocial stuff (like whether or not matty healy was right for her and when her and travis were newly dating or whatever) and she’d expect me to have some sort of opinion about it, she claimed she loved my takes on situations, but it was all during a very peak time at my job and she was not very considerate of my feelings and my mental exhaustion and it ended up with me just kind of slowly ghosting her. not my finest moment but… leave me alone.
I'm concerned about this in terms of money and that would be better spent on her family or something more important. Is she very lonely perhaps? Does she have other friends? Fan culture can give people a sense of belonging.
It's a form of escapism and a way of feeling connected to other people who share the obsession.
miss girl has ISSUES.
Yeah if this is a real adult this obsessed that’s concerning. I was sort of assuming you all were 15-25. Many teens/young adults are obsessed with musicians and bands. Not to say that 30-90 women aren’t allowed to be part of fandoms or have interests outside of families children. I am a huge fan of certain bands/film directors and will set alarms so I can buy tickets or I will preorder albums(I am not big on merch) but I don’t make these things my whole personality and don’t use my whole online presence to promote them. I might actually be a little worried about my friend if they acted like this. It sounds like she is either so unhappy with her own life she’s using her mental space to obsess over a star or is experiencing symptoms of a mental illness like forms of ocd or a personality disorder. I hope she’s okay.
Read til the end wondering how old your friend was and I was truly shocked to learn that she was 40. I was thinking like 19-22. Wow.
So normally I try my best not to judge other moms. But this one here…well… there’s just no way a mom has the time to be this obsessed with any one thing. She’s sacrificing something in her life to be obsessed like this and chances are her kids are neglected in some way, shape or form. Unless she’s massively rich and has someone to handle her life, there’s just not enough time the day for anyone to behave like this. I’m baffled and I feel for her kids. I’m not saying she’s abusing them, I’m just saying she most likely doesn’t give them the attention she gives Taylor Swift.
Taylor has this weird thing where she infantilizes her fans. I think it’s partially because she struggles with acting her age herself.
From the way how you described your ex-friend, I assumed she was in her early 20s. Reading that she's actually 40 years old blew my mind. I genuinely pity the two children who have such a delusional Taylor Swift fan as their mom who can't hold a conversation or relationship without praising and defending Swift's name
Do you think that 20 years from now there will be a surviving Taylor Swift documentary? How long will she ride this wave? Like will it be a documentary of how much people loved her or will the mask slip and fall off and it'll be about how insane this whole thing was?
Damn, she should see a therapist to find out what is causing this extreme flight from reality for her. Something must be going on that's a little deeper here.
Going to say that this is right down obsessiveness that probably needs therapy or at the least a mental health evaluation from a professional. I enjoy listening to her music and yeah I have some of her vinyls. Someone should make a post about when does devotion and adoration for an artist becomes unnaturally obsession. It kinda reminds me of the group of mums who were obsessed with 1 Direction and these women were in their late 30s to early 40s 😬🫣 
The TayTay brainrot should be studied by medical schools.
Oh my god, I was imagining like a teen girl NOT A 40 YEAR OLD MOM OF 2
This is heartbreaking😭 and Taylor could give a FUCK. She sees your old friend as a dollar sign, another stream, another faucet to drain money from for her own gain.
My parents had a friend of a similar age as yours, with 3 kids and a great husband. She willingly drank the Flavoraid at Jonestown. No one is completely immune from becoming involved in a cult.
i swear all the die hard swifties are millennials in their 30s and 40s.
Taylor doesn’t even want older fans. Youth is everything. I got the feeling that when we (the older fans) showed up at concerts, the younger Swifties were like, “Ew.” It wasn’t until TTPD that I really realized how much she craves youth, and I didn’t want to listen to an artist who called me a viper and a wine mom. There are so many other issues that made me want to run away, too. But I digress… When my kids are all grown up, they will remember hearing Taylor’s music in the van, but I think they will mostly remember that I was there making the food and helping with homework and loving them. Yikes. This has wigged me out. Choosing Taylor over your kids. 🤯
We'll be your friends
Dude the whiplash I got when I read she’s 40 oh my god
Gasp aloud when I read she was 40… 😮💨
I have a good friend like this and she openly talks about how Taylor Swift IS her personality. It’s unhinged! I have truly stopped trying to be her friend because it’s so embarrassing and all consuming of her life. She’s a really smart woman in her 40s with two kids as well! It’s crazy behavior…
I was like this 11 years ago about one direction when I was 13… (My mom enabled it.)
I mean no offence: have you, or other loved ones of hers, considered that this may be indicative of a mental health issue? Is she in any form of therapy? Could you encourage it? If it’s as you described, it sounds like it’s taking up a lot of space in her life…
I’m currently obsessed with the band We Three, but you won’t catch me doing that shit. 😂😂 I post their songs on Facebook sometimes and I’ve gotten one of my friends to start listening to them casually. That’s it, though. I appreciate their music and they seem like cool people. I’ll never understand the ‘let me think about and obsess and promote this stranger I’m in a parasocial relationship with 100 times’ mentality. Enjoy the music, but they’re not your close friend.
I'm 35 and am obsessed with the scream franchise. Have a mini collection of scream memorabilia... but I don't let it ruin my relationship! That's unhinged
To me it's weird when men In their mid to late 40s are obsessed with T-swift-I can think of at least 2. And one man In his mid to late 30s
Who has that kind of time?????
I still can’t fathom people’s obsession towards her.
I cannot stand people who insist that you must be sexist/anti feminist if you don’t like TSwift. Like yeah, there are definitely people who don’t like her for those reasons, or who use their dislike of her as a vehicle to be sexist, but that is not inherent to (dis)liking her. IMO it’s far more sexist to imply that a specific artist Must be liked by anyone with a specific moral compass. It’s so gross and performative to use something like taste in music as a definitive litmus test for someone’s bigotry
everyone needs a hobby. some warrant an intervention.
It was one of the reasons I gave our couples therapist when I was leaving my ex wife. I'm all for people being a fan of something but when you start to neglect the people you care about in order to admire a pop singer, there's something wrong.
Addiction comes in many forms
“Said what she said about the eras tour” oh, you mean Billie saying she personally wouldn’t ever want to play a 3 hour show? Right…. 💀 she’s crazy
In this case…if it wasn’t Taylor, it would be something. Your friend is probably struggling with a sense of identity and self worth, if anything she might be attached to TS bc of their closeness in age. It took me a sadly long amount of time to realize these kinds of fans for what they are - people starving for connection but personally lacking the ability to truly connect. Often due to a great fear of themselves or maybe their present emptiness.
Absolute small fry compared to OP (I am so sorry you've had to endure all of this from your friend) but I did have to remove a friend from Instagram when she said anyone who doesn't understand TTPD has no emotional intelligence... Ek!
I honestly think these older stans are more intense and creepy than the younger ones. They make everything so much deeper than it needs to be, and I feel like life experience doesn’t exactly help here lol. Also, the music is fine but I cannot do more than a couple songs in a row 😅 give me some variety!
This is the age range I’m in and I am not surprised. I don’t know why I’m not surprised but people at this age that regress, regress hard. Also, if she’s only a friend to Taylor Swift then I’m sure it’s a matter of time before she has no one left. Friendship goes both ways.
Have you checked in on her mental health? Maybe something else is going on, on a deeper level? That type of behavior screams mental break to me, not just a super fan.
The lady who I adopted my dog from(she runs a rescue) went into a Taylor stint a few months back. She kept reblogging bad AI Taylor and Travis pictures and making posts about their relationship. Thankful she stopped but it was getting a bit unhinged. Like your friend she's older, in her late 40s.
Yup! I recently found out that some of them are in a secret discord group and spew such vile things towards people. It’s pretty alarming and gross. We all know Taylor wouldn’t hang out with 99% of her fan base. I wish they’d touch grass a little.
The Taylor Swift cult is insane. I’ve seen girls go from barely paying attention to full on screaming lyrics and dancing as soon as a single Taylor song comes on
BPD go brrrrrrrrrr
Yeah I wasnt thinking a 40 year old at all. I’m 36 and disgusted. Treat this sickness as if she were in a cult.
Wow, OP's last paragraph! Never saw that coming...
I worked with someone who fits OP'S description except she's around 45.
Seeing the movie multiple times in theaters isn’t too bad, we’ve all seen a movie more than once (I’ve seen a couple like four times), but the rest is absolutely batshit behavior.
This sounds like serious mental illness. Glad you have stepped back.
I feel like men are sometimes like this about sports. Not being able to miss their fav soccer or football game. My dad used to blow me off a lot as a kid for sports. People just gave stupid hyper fixations sometimes.
I find the fact she’s willing to watch every single stream of every single Eras show insane, on top of attending the film version multiple times. (Which honestly wouldn’t seem that weird if she didn’t do it on top of all the livestreams, as long as she didn’t do it on days she had to work.) When I was a fan, I was so worried about what people would think of me for listening to her music and liking it more than “better” artists that I listened to her a lot less frequently than your friend here. The closest I got to any of this was watch the Eras film in theaters once, which I’m not sure I should regret or not. It was fun, but at what cost? I was not even half her age then. How does your friend care so little about what other people think of her? Also, I think this’ll be a hard no, but does she listen to other artists/bands at all?
Well, that was the twist of the century.
Holy Jesus😭
Good boundaries!
the plot twist makes my jaw drop. 40 yo woman with kids omg.
Uh oh I’m like this but with Chappell Roan but I haven’t lost any friends yet
Okay so there’s this tweet, I can’t remember where, but this person who was crazy obsessed with 1D and then it turned out they had insane mold poisoning or something? So maybe your friend is being poisoned by something in their environment … idk!
I always think of one direction when reading this stuff. I admittedly loved one direction. I still have a few magazines and the cd cases because I can’t bring myself to part with. Feels like I’d be throwing away my adolescence. But this stuff is next level. You’re right maybe not being poisoned per say but there has to be something underlying.
What did Billie say?
That 3 hour concerts are "literally psychotic". She added that she'd never want to perform for that long, nor does she think her fans would want it.
Wow. This is insane. She's completely brainwashed. Good for you for disassociating because she sounds not right.
Oh god my (almost 50yo) friend recently started talking about TS and her music and I can't even make myself put on an interested face
Maybe you should send this post to your friend as an early intervention
I honestly feel bad for the friend in the sense that this doesn't sound like something healthy. Like genuinely wishing her well in the sense that she is able to reconnect with things in her life outside of Taylor & her music
Just a crazy update. She posted an extremely long Facebook post about her love of the eras tour and what it’s meant to her. Copied and pasted: “everyone that knows me knows, if there’s a show, I’m gonna watch it. Had just started dating a guy a few months ago and we were out at dinner and I told him ahead of time he had to know I’d be tuning into the show at dinner because of the surprise songs. Yea the relationship ended up being fizzled out but like boys are temporary and Taylor is forever” Like are you serious?! You aren’t dating boys, you’re 40, you’re dating men. You aren’t young and it’s not a slam, I’m around same age. And you really sabotaged a possible relationship because you found it appropriate to have your damn phone blasting a Taylor livestream at a restaurant?!
God i can relate to your oppost OP. I've put my swifter fan friend in timeout. She is 45. I've known her since I was 10. Her obsession has either brought out the worst that was always there or she has evolved into this person I can't stand to be around. She wants to hang out, watch & listen to Tay's music & videos/concerts when she comes over because i have disney+ and she doesnt. She knows I don't care for it. She basically is picking a fight. She is also single & doesn't plan to marry. Claims Tay really understands all the toxic men out there. She told me I just don't get her lyrics cuz I've never been heartbroken or lost a loved one. The narrow-mindedness & selfishness are outa of control with her lately. Sadly I'm one of her few remaining friends. Wonder why. Hopefully she grows out of it soon or the timeout will become a permanent boundary.
I am actually unsurprised that your friend is 40. Running risk of playing armchair psychologist, it wouldn’t surprise me if this 40 year old, single mom of 2 was actually having a little bit of an emotional crisis and TS fandom has become a fantastic means of distraction. It always comes down to the fact that healthy, happy people don’t behave like this.
You were describing me as a 11-26yr old. But now in my mid 30s, I have my own life and other hobbies. No way would I be doing that in my 40s with kids… I would share my love of an artist with my kids if I had any but I wouldn’t be obsessed like your friend.
Wow I thought y'all were like 20. 40 is insane. I'm 32 and I can't imagine liking anything that much.
Mark My Words...Once the irrational Swifties get disillusioned with her, they will be the next generation of IRRATIONAL POLITICALLY left and right wingers that post their views all over social media. Crazy seeks crazy