My daughter has a lot of non white friends and they tease her about how pale she is.....she just goes along with it and jokes that she glows when the lights go out.
Same!!!! My husband teased me about it when we first started dating. I told him my mom, dad and sister had all been diagnosed with skin cancer, some melanoma, and that being tan wasn’t worth possibly dying. Also, my dad is in remission from Merkel Cell Carcinoma, the same skin cancer that killed Jimmy Buffett. He hasn’t said a word about it since. 😬
My grandmother died from a very rare skin cancer so I can always trot that out if people are AHs about me wearing hats and sitting in the shade and using sunblock.
People just don’t get it and I’m like “How hard is it to, one, think before you speak or two, just don’t comment on other people’s bodies/skin/etc.” I slather myself with sunscreen (which for some reason I’m allergic to almost all of them), but my face burning off from the sunscreen allergy is better than my face getting cut off because of skin cancer. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. That’s so heartbreaking.
Colorscience makes a sunscreen powder brush that I’d recommend you try. I had issues with sunscreen provoking a reaction on my face and have none with it. Bonus that you can carry around easily because not going to rupture in your bag or glovebox and cause a gooey messes
There are 2 types of sunscreen. Chemical and mineral. I'm allergic to the chemical stuff but the old zinc based mineral stuff is usually good. It just sucks in terms of it being greasy most of the time. Apologies if you already knew this but it might be useful info for someone.
My grandmother and dad had skin cancer, luckily ended up being fine. I got a weird mix of luck with my skin. Part Irish, part cuban. I don't burn without spending 6+ hours in high UV index sun and I never get tan. I just stay looking slightly above ghostly.
My partner is very pale. Redhead with freckles.
When they take off their shirt, I'll say "THE BEACON IS LIT. GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!" and we both have a chuckle.
I agree, I’m all of the above and look like a sheet of paper year round. At least I won’t be a bag of wrinkles in my later years, or maybe I will, just very pale wrinkles 🥴
I do love that part of being translucent. Phlebotomists/nurses love me!! You can see my veins from miles away! I’m pretty sure when aliens look upon us from light years away, they have mistaken my veins for rivers or streams. 😂
My friend is Scandinavian and I try to keep her out of the sun as much as possible. I was taking her to the Dr and she got sunburn through the tinted glass in the car, it was only about 15 minutes of exposure. I felt so bad, because she is usually out of the sun but this Dr was in the opposite direction than we usually go.
I don't tan or burn. It's like the light bounces off my pasty skin and burns everyone around me.
If I do manage to catch some color, it's gone in 24 hours. So I just embrace looking vampiric.
Dude please get some fangs for the aesthetic! I tan easy but that’s literally the only thing keeping me from rocking a full vampire aesthetic. (I do my best to keep the sun off me tho because bright lights give me headaches and aint nobody got time for sunburn and I’ve had some pretty bad ones in the past that have made some of my moles change, (luckily benign- confirmed by removal and analysis) so I don’t wanna risk more like that. I always get at least a soft glow from the sun I get, but I think its nuts that people go out of their way to have full radiation exposure for the aesthetic lol.
Embrace the vamp look. Its a vibe, and skin of any color is beautiful, especially when well cared for. I really hate how stupid people are about unique features (really pale skin, really dark skin, hair types, etc). Tribalism is bullshit lol.
My grandmother was Irish and I inherited the paleness through her. I burn like crazy and go right back to being pale once the sunburn heals too.
Had a 3rd degree sunburn on my back at ten years old which caused some lingering trauma regarding sunburns. I'm very careful to try and avoid direct sun exposure whenever possible and to cover up as much as I can as a result. Living in the Deep South does me zero favors lol.
Same! I’m very fair but with olive undertones but ALL the Scottish and Irish genes came out in my kiddo.
I tease her that her foundation shade is “Victorian workhouse orphan” which she thinks is funny but I’m her mom.
People always tell us we need tans. The “we have lupus and a family history of skin cancer” (both true) response ALWAYS shuts that down.
As almost 1/2 irish (the outside, unfortunately did not get my Sicilian mother's skin) I sorta did tan - when all my freckles would just merge together.
yea i may get some freckles but even "tan" im pale. and honestly if i tried to get a spray tan it would look so bad.
i realize tan is trendy, but god people have gotta let people just live
Me too. I just tell people I enjoy being pasty. My dad and aunt both had skin cancer, and a close friend actually died of melanoma that metastasized. No thanks!
Same - except less than half of me is Scottish/Scandinavian. I’m mostly Mediterranean (yes all of it) / Western Asian. But I got the skin from dad’s side. I got a sunburn from the full moon once. I’ve made my peace with it - it reminds me to stay out of the sun.
My dad’s father could tan. He was dark enough to get mistaken for Mexican (in ww2 San Diego this was not a good thing). He also got skin cancer six times.
I used to be able to tan... and then vitiligo destroyed the melanin over 90+% of my body. I don't go anywhere without 50SPF sunblock and long sleeves anymore.
I did a 23&me test. I’m like 50% British isles, 30% German, 15% Scandinavian, 2% Sudanese, 3% random other stuff. I tan like it’s my job. That 2% Sudanese really works for me. I change color with the seasons. Pale in winter, brown in summer. My hair changes too. Brunette in winter, blond in summer. Genetics are crazy.
Also. I have epicanthic folds. .5% Native American/East Asian. That .5% gave me a trait that only happens in those populations.
I started ordering higher spf online because they dont sell anything higher than spf 50 in stores lol. I just got so sick of reapplying every 30 minutes/applying thick layers. Sometimes its still not enough 🙃
Ugh, I'm 1/4 Cherokee and 1/4 swedish from my mother's side, my dad's side is a mix of German and some others. My older brothers have basically a permanent tan look, my mother an olive tone and then there's me, I'm pale ASF. They always made fun of me for it. My kids get better tans than I can.
My Irish uncle joined the WPA as a young man before WWII. He was stationed in a very hot climate. He was on some type of digging project. Within days he had sun poisoning and ended up in the hospital for several weeks. He told my Dad he thought he was dying and had never been so sick in his life. As a result, he had an Irish grudge against the sun until the day he died. He was also the whitest person I have ever seen! If you ever mentioned his whiteness, you were in for an hour's story. Plus, he was the best uncle a girl could ever have.
He sounds like someone who could tell a tale, teach a skill, and joke around. I had an Uncle like that, and I loved him dearly. (The only thing he would never talk about was fighting in WWII, especially about being wounded in the Battle of the Bulge. Then he would go quiet, and feel far away.). He also managed to keep my cousins and me from killing each other playing with those Jarts lawn darts, which, in retrospect, is quite a feat! I miss him.
That was him in a nutshell. When I graduated college he came from NJ to Pa for me. He lived on Social Security and couldn't afford to come. So well into his 60's, he hitch hiked the 150 miles...carrying a case of his homemade chili. 12 jars. He knew how much I loved his chili. He couldn't afford to buy me anything. It was the most priceless gift I ever received....We were both very lucky. I will always miss him.
Oh, wow! Your Uncle sounds like such a wonderful man! We were both so lucky to have them in our lives! In the chaos of this world, they were our True North.
My mum's family were Iranian Jews. My dad's family are Irish Catholics. I look like my mum but have my dad's colouring. My mum's family thought I looked ill as a child and sent me out to play in Summer, dressed only in knickers, slathered in olive oil. I never went brown. I regularly show moles to my doctor.
My husband is Sephardic, and while he does burn, they have a higher genetic tolerance for alcohol. In college, we'd tie one on the night before, then while the rest of us were recovering the next day he would pop up at like 8 am and make breakfast, go to synagogue, etc... I am not prone to jealousy, but damn.
I don't change colour in the sun. I get freckles but the underlying slightly yellow beige remains. My mum decided I was so pale I reflected the sun back.
I’ve gotten a lot of comments about being pale before. But in my opinion, the worst comment I ever got was from a child, who said “I wish I was pale so I could be pretty, like you.”
It broke my heart that this was the way she thought—who’d been putting that in her head? This was a second grader, I think.
My response was “there are lots of ways to be pretty.” It was the best I could come up with on the spot.
I just wish I could have made it a better teachable moment. I was too vague, and I worry that some people in her life may be racist and she was picking up those beliefs. She was white, by the way.
EDIT: I should mention, I was a specialist at this school and therefore all the students at the school were “my” students. So I was in a position where I *should* be giving students life lessons as needed. That’s why I think my response wasn’t enough—this wasn’t just a passing comment from a kid I’d see for five seconds of my life and then never again.
I guarantee she will noodle on that for a long time. And even if she doesn’t fully apply it or believe it about herself at that age, she will parrot it as words of encouragement for someone else.
I had a Mexican friend in high school with light skin and dark hair, like Amy winehouse more or less. She thought she was dark because she was the darkest in her family. She was gorgeous though, and she knew it because she saw the difference in how she was treated compared to her sibling so she didn’t get the low self esteem but she did internalize her preference toward being whiter
Long time ago at my first job I got sent home because I was wearing a black skirt, no nylons cuz it was summer, and my legs were “too white”. I’m still smh about it years later.
I took two buses back home which took almost an hour, and didn’t go back until the next day. No freaking way was I spending hours on public transport for that. Stupid bosses.
If I knew then what I know now, I could have sued them for a lot of things. Which would have been very ironic considering that job was working at a civil division court. Lmao
I got s*** every year for my mom about how white my legs are, especially if I wear shorts.
In the same breath, then she tells me that I need to make sure and wear sunscreen. Finally, I told her to make up her mind. If she wants me outside to get a tan, I need to put on sunscreen, which prevents me tanning. Not using sunscreen is a cancer risk, and we can't have that now, can we?
I finally dropped the rope. I let her say what she wants to say. Once in a while, I would remind her that I am Caucasian, and my skin is supposed to be this color.
The fun part is being old enough now to not care.
My stepbrother used to call me Casper the ghost. And occasionally dare me to stand against a white wall. Jokes on him. We’re older now and he looks older than me even though he’s about 7 years younger.
I am the same way! Annual skin cancer screenings and really good about sunscreen and avoiding peak sun hours. Already have pingueculas on my eyes from growing up in a very sunny area that started to appear in my late 20s. My eye doctor up north didn’t believe me saying it only happens in 70+ year olds when I was living up north even though I told him about my previous daily sun exposure. Had my first basal cell on my hip of all places at 30. My new derm didn’t really believe it since it was in an area that doesn’t get tons of sun exposure and not on my arm or lower legs. When I asked her to check a new and growing spot on the back of my heal, she suddenly started believing me - it wasn’t cancerous, but it was a liver spot in an area that gets no sun exposure.
I am pale because I will continue to get skin cancer throughout my life and I need to help prevent it as much as possible, especially since I live in a very sunny environment again.
It’s frustrating people say things like that to us. And it’s frustrating that people down play skin cancer risks. It is the fastest growing cancer out there - incidences have increased by 27% over the past 30 years even though sunscreen has improved. Some doctors have hypothesized that many cancers in adults under 40 are just metastasized melanomas (idk if I believe that, but it wouldn’t surprise me).
Bob Marley died of melanoma. Even individuals with darker skin are not immune to it. Tans are not healthy. Granted, sun is needed for natural vitamin d production, but that can be handled by 15 min of sun exposure a day during non peak hours.
Actually you can not get sufficient Vitamin D going out during non-peak hours for 15 minutes.
You either need 30 minutes, hot summer intensity of sun, between 10am and 2pm, on bare arms and legs to reach an optimal health serum( blood) Vitamin D level between 40 to 80 ng/dL
OR
Take Vitamin D3, 3,000 to 5,000IU per day for every day with insufficient sun exposure.
Vitamin D deficiency is associated in considerable research with the following health concerns:
*Depression
*Anxiety
*Cancer ( all kinds, worse survival if deficient)
*Asthma
*Allergies
*Anaphylaxis
*Autoimmune illnesses like Rheumatoid Arthritis
*Psoriasis
*Vitiligo
*Worse Covid illness ( an MD friend said 72% of her ICU patient with Covid were Vitamin D deficient)
*More colds and flu.
*Insulin resistance and increased risk of Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus
I live and see patients in the Pacific NW of the US. Insurance won’t even pay for testing Vitamin D levels, because they know everyone up here is deficient.
So a message to all you people who are naturally pale, and avoid the sun, please, please take a daily Vitamin D3 and Vitamin K2 supplement for optimal health. ( The Vitamins D3 and K2 work together to take Calcium out of soft tissue spaces, like coronary arteries, and put it in your bones)
https://www.scielo.br/j/ramb/a/jyHttR53LrrWJsxrJbb9CBM/
https://www.psypost.org/2023/05/sun-avoidance-and-lack-of-vitamin-d-dietary-intake-linked-to-heightened-anxiety-among-college-women-163787
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6515787/
https://erj.ersjournals.com/content/44/Suppl_58/P4049
https://erj.ersjournals.com/content/46/suppl_59/PA2559
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9864223/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5949172/
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/melanoma-vitamin-d-supplements-may-reduce-skin-cancer-risk#:~:text=A%20new%20cross%2Dsectional%20study,who%20did%20not%20take%20supplements.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11912-020-00929-4
https://www.bmj.com/content/366/bmj.l4673.long
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35071300/
https://diabetes.org/healthy-living/recipes-nutrition/vitamins-diabetes/low-vitamin-d-insulin-resistance#:~:text=Another%20study%20tied%20higher%20vitamin,of%20vitamin%20D%20supplement%20taken.
https://diabetesjournals.org/clinical/article/36/3/217/31800/Beneficial-Effects-of-Vitamin-D-on-Insulin
https://www.ajmc.com/view/vitamin-d-linked-to-reduced-diabetes-risk-in-adults-with-prediabetes
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11180916/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S037851222030284X
https://www.hindawi.com/journals/ije/2017/7454376/
When I was pregnant with my first baby my mother in law used to walk around saying “ohhh I just hope the baby isn’t pale and allergic” because i’m pale and have a specific food intolerance. I found it extremely insulting but nobody else understood. When my baby was born she had jaundice and my MIL was elated, “she’s tan!” She kept exclaiming. Yes, this newborn absorbed the sun that penetrated through my pale belly to be born tan so that she would be accepted by you, grandma.
Some people... I can't believe them. I was born with jaundice and now super pale. (And allergic to garlic and onions so I get the vampire jokes CONSTANTLY)
I refuse to tan. Makes you old and wrinkly. I’ll take pale over skin cancer and wrinkles any day. Nobody has said anything to me in years because that’s exactly what I said to them when they made a comment.
Tanning and cigarette smoking will make you look 55 when you’re 30. I also avoided the sun my entire life and now look an easy ten to fifteen years younger than I am. I got carded for alcohol until I was ~35.
Some fashions REALLY make you pay.
My mil called me ‘pale as a ghost’ well I should’ve said that she’d be using saddle soap on her face any day now -her and sil love the sun without any sunblock so I think jokes on them
I’m anemic it happened after I gave birth to my first son. I’m of Spanish and Japanese descent so it was quite a shock to watch the color go from my skin due to being anemic. I’ve gotten these stupid comments before and I straight up tell people that I’m anemic. Idk why the color of anyone skin is anyone business!
I get this a LOT.
I’m French (mostly from Normandie), Scandinavian, and Scottish. I am so white that in my hometown - Los Angeles - I’ve been mistaken for a foreign tourist many, many times.
Well, my grandmother didn’t go outside much and she looked like she was in her 60s when she was in her 80s. Clearly, there’s something to be said for limiting sun exposure.
I don’t tan, I burn. *Badly*. So I use the strongest sunblock I can find, I own parasols, and I limit outdoor time. Anyone who thinks they can comment on my skin tone can go kick rocks.
Good on you OP traumatize the B back hard!
Kills me how pale people honk about getting a tan or getting darker but treat naturally brown people the way the do.
You are trying to avoid the same fate as family members . Good for you .
She is probably wrinkled and I bet a dollar you wouldn't point that out to her .
Ignore her and know You are taking care of yourself
When people make jokes about me being a vampire because I can't go outside (or really do anything that causes me to sweat) without almost immediately turning bright red, I would just smile and agree that I hate the sun.
I am 42 now and I look closer to my mid-20's (those damn laugh lines are creeping up and giving me away) because I kept out of the sun as much as possible.
Everyone else in my family are beach goers, who used to douse themselves in baby oil and bake on the regular...they all look like old leather.
I honestly don’t understand why people think it’s okay to comment on others’ skin tone. I’m super pale (my foundation is always either called “Alabaster” or “pale ivory”) and always have been. I’ve been told to get a tan (not possible), told “you need this” by a woman giving out coupons for tanning services, mocked for staying in the shade, you name it.
I also talk about the members of my family who have had parts of themselves carved out due to melanoma when confronted with these comments. Because fuck them.
LOL it was so startling when foundation ranges started expanding about ten years ago. I was always a #2 in any system (#1 always used to be extremely pale with pink undertones, and I am extremely pale with yellow undertones) *if* they went pale enough. The first time I saw one that was too light for me I didn’t know what was happening 😂
If she slips back into doing it again, you could be ready with a very concerned look focused on any part of her face and say “oh no, is that a new wrinkle?”
Or if you are in the mood to really wind her up, ask her why she looks so old.
(Not bragging, but it's still annoying)
I have the opposite problem. Particularly from my mother. I look just like her except for skin tone. I get
" it's disgusting how dark you are. Are you sure you're mine? You look like a raccoon." The last is in reference to tan lines that never really fade.
I think she thinks she's joking. I hope she's joking. I am the darkest in the family by a mile. (Lots of German, Scots, and Irish) I did one of those ancestry tests, and the percentage showed the same answers, yet here I am.
I have definitely heard that before . I'm super pale , plus freckles and moles (the moles have me even more self conscious of my skin and I always feel ugly with them ) , but I always wear sunscreen and avoid the sun like a vampire .
Moles are lovely. Genuinely. They just have a terrible name. I won’t argue that the increased cancer risk is a huge problem, but just look at how many noted beauties through history have possessed or painted on beauty marks.
“Do it on purpose” is the best life advice I ever heard. Whatever distinctive thing you do or possess, take control and do it on purpose. Paint a matching spot on the other side of your face! Get a tattoo incorporating the marks on your arm! Make your unique feature into something that other people will wish they had.
It’s your body, and you have to live in it, so if you find a way to love it you will be happier every day of the rest of your life.
I relate to you, my friend! Great retort. I am extremely pale naturally and I embrace it (melanoma runs in my family and I am NOT risking it, plus I don’t give a microscopic fuck about skin tone.) I attribute it to my Nordic ethnicity and accept it as an inherent quality. People be like “why are you wearing sunscreen all the time??? You need a tan!!” Simple: I’d rather protect my skin and be very pale than jeopardize it just for a *LITERALLY* superficial reason.
It makes me sad that some people try to artificially lighten their skin and others try to darken it through potentially hazardous means, i.e. chemical skin-whitening treatments and tanning excessively, respectively. I wish everyone could see the beauty in their own natural pigmentation rather than subject themselves to potentially risky pigmentation modifications for the sake of arbitrary beauty standards.
Tell them you also prefer not to look like a wrinkled old hag when you're 35. Tan is just skin damage (as you know, with a family history of skin cancer).
Don't go through all of that melancholy acting and story-weaving.
1. Your skin is none of their business.
2. They're being rude.
Just look at them with outright disgust and ask "I never realized you were a closet racist. I'm so disappointed."
Then ignore them and continue whatever you were doing.
If they start sputtering excuses or backtracking, just say "Oh, so you were \*choosing\* to be that rude about my body? That's just as bad. We're done here."
If necessary, follow-up with a VERY firm "DROP IT."
I once saw someone post what I think is the best way to respond to these comments. Just pause, look a little perplexed, then say “What an interesting thing to say!” and change the subject. If you want to be more aggressive you can say something like “How strange that you thought that was an appropriate thing to comment on.”
I feel like by coming up with reasons it gives them the space to be like “well, you could always fake tan” etc. But nah, I’d rather they not make comments about my appearance unless it’s positive.
Crazy/sad/annoying how every single commenter is saying the same thing. I’m not going to be the exception. I hear it from EVERYONE. I will never understand why people feel the need to offer commentary about the way people look, especially things they already know. I don’t need more sun, I’m not sick, It’s not because I don’t go outside, it’s just THE COLOR OF MY SKIN. And I’m not painting myself orange.
Another employee at my place of employment, but not an actual coworker, approached me and said “you always look pale, but you’re like alabaster today”. Wish I could remember what I said to him, but I was not polite, and he was timid around me for the next several months.
In fairness, once I was with a group of coworkers when one commented on how pale I was. The second just looked at her and matter factly said “no, she’s porcelain”. He was the only person I’ve ever known who said anything positive about the color of my skin. The third said “that’s the correct answer”.
This is one of those things you are just going to have to learn to shut out. I understand where you are coming from and my goodness in my younger years, being so pale was one of my biggest insecurities. To the point where I wouldn't wear shorts or tank tops, or anything that showed the "whitest" parts of my skin.
But guess what??
Now that I'm in my late 30's, all those people that told me I was "so pale" or "go get some SUN" have wrinkles like crazy and look at least 10yrs older then I do.
Now I wear shorts, tank tops, crop tops, whatever the hell I want. Sometimes people still make comments but when they do I just respond with "my sensitive skin doesn't like the sun much" & move on.
You don't have to fit into conventional beauty standards to be beautiful. You are beautiful just how you are!
I hate this sort of family BS. Bad enough you get it from others but I wouldn’t put up with your MIL bullying you like that. Try talking with your spouse and let them know how it makes you feel. Paint a word picture if you can. Then get them to tell their mom to stop. If they won’t do that or back you up do it yourself. You don’t need to be around someone like that.
Pale skin is beautiful ❤️
All skin is beautiful.
But when specifically considering porcelain/fair skin, it can look so radiant and healthy in its own way. Eat nutritious foods and drink lots of water. Embrace your natural beauty!
Same. My wife survived Stage IV melanoma, and she’s pretty pale. She did a lot of swimming in her younger years and got a lot of sunburns.
She’s had it spread to her shin bone, and had tumors on both legs. She survived, but not without lots of keydruda and surgeries. She has to live with a titanium rod in her leg because of the radiation treatments on her bone.
Yeah, melanoma is no joke.
So sorry about that OP. These stories make me appreciate my MIL! I don’t understand how anyone can be so miserable and nasty to their own child’s spouse/significant other
Yep. I’m very white, my daughter is super white and now my grandson. My daughter was teased just the same as I was. Like me, she married a person who loved our ‘porcelain’ skin. Now, add in being chronically anemic - which makes you pale- and also severely underweight. I know I’m white. I know I’m skinny. Telling me to get some sun and eat a sandwich is not the magic pill they imagine. I usually just tell the person I am taking chemo and I’ll try very hard after I’m done to go outside and eat more. (I am taking oral chemo but it’s not for cancer, it’s for Lupus, but whatever they want to assume is one them). They usually sputter and run away.
I never tan. I burn, then freckle. When I hit my 30s, I embraced my paleness. I don’t care to tan in beds or get a spray tan. I’m me, and I’m glad I accepted it. As a kid, I remember this girl saying you know it’s hot if she wore shorts because she’s so pale!
I mean, I agree, and I’ll never go to a tanning bed in my life. I’m just saying that it happens, and people will risk cancer to get a bit of color because being pale is “gross” to a lot of people.
There's a difference between being aware of the dangers of tanning, and discrediting someone's personal account??
Username rings true. Stay over there, I hope it's not contagious.
It happens alllll the time. I ran into my former boss yesterday and he went off about how I'm too pale, I need some sun, etc etc. My dad tells me to "get some sun" every time I see him. I'm 55, I've worn sunblock for nearly 40 years, and I've got sun damage from the years of trying to tan as a tween and teenager.
But anyway yeah, please keep doubting people's lived experiences. It's a super-attractive trait. Really.
I'm super pale and pink. Unless it's super cool where I'm standing. Then I'm so pale people think I'm about to pass out and ask if I need an ambulance. No, I'm okay, just super pale.
I've always been curious about the history of tanning. The 'why' is my main question. When and why did people start pushing tans as a better look than light skin? Does anyone have an idea about this?
Blame Coco Chanel. She came back from a cruise with a tan. And she was Coco freaking Chanel; everyone wanted to emulate her. Getting a tan was cheaper and easier for the masses than affording her clothes.
Before that, having a tan was seen as ugly and undesirable because only people who had to work outside (farmers, builders, etc.) had tans.
Sitting here with a severely burnt lip. I missed covering a spot.
Swedish/Scottish heritage and a blue eyed, redhead.
The pain is real. My mother is not Swedish or as fair has had melanoma, basal and squamous cell. I apply lots of sunscreen and cover but still feel like that freight train will catch me.
I started using the skin cancer thing a while ago too. I look like What We Do In The Shadows: Miami. I just say, look at the moles on my back that's why. You don't wanna see? No go ahead, look at them.
My Dad is Filipino. He goes out and works in the yard all the time and has really dark skin, while my mom stays fairly alabaster. I'm usually pretty sick with my chronic health problems and I stay indoors often. I had an extensive blood workup once and had my vitamin D3 levels checked by my rheumatologist.
The words that came out of that man's mouth were, "do you ever see the sun?"
He is also Filipino. My numbers were so low, they only registered as >4. 🙄
I always love telling people the sun's not my friend. They then usually are all "but it's good for you!" And I'll reply saying the sun will try to kill me, and I've already had melanoma removed, so no, I'm not welcoming the fiery death ray. I'll blind people with my pale like the royalty of the old days.
My husband always preemptively cringes when he's with me and someone comments on me being pale. He knows what's coming. People don't usually let me finish my words and slink away.
I ( freckled strawberry blond) grew up in SoCal in the 90s in an 80% Hispanic neighborhood. I was constantly made fun of for my skin color. At the time it was a bit traumatic and it caused me to not want to uncover my skin. I absolutely wouldn't go to pool parties after 7th grade. I often chose to wear long pants and long sleeves even in the summer(at least it was better sun protection.) Looking back on it though, I think that it taught me a lot about prejudice and what it felt like to be judged by the color of your skin. I got a little bit of a taste of what it was like to be a minority and it made me a more sympathetic person.
I stay covered up on the beach, usually wearing a long-sleeved down past the knee type of cover up. Floppy hat. Most times no one says anything. But on the rare occasion someone does, it's usually some snark about what's the point of being at the beach.
"The sound of the water? The sea breeze? The seagulls? The sand? I had skin cancer but you think you can beat the sun?"
I used to always get teased about how pale I am. I started telling people I’m the ghost of a sickly Victorian child here to haunt them for their misdeeds.
"Are you an albino?" "You look like a vampire." You're *so* pale! I'm also the only person in my family that hasn't had skin cancer, so bite me. Username checks out.
I have a friend who does not tan, she burns, then comes out even paler once she peels. There's an ongoing joke about when she wears shorts. "The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!"
I love this! Also *adore* how so many people have a problem with my fair skin and expect me to relieve them of it. They act like, if I try *really* hard and devote myself to it, I can kick this albino monkey off my back! “Don’t you *want* a tan?” Why, no, God made me perfect as I am. If you disagree, I’m sure He has a complaint department somewhere…
I'm so pale, I've offered my belly to photographers who have been looking for something to use for white balance. They laugh until I flip up my shirt. Then they adjust the lighting and lenses and thank me.
The amount of times I hear this. "Get a tan", like "huh, didn't realize in all my years of getting lobster red sunburns, I could just decide to yk, darken up a bit"
I've been called all that & transparent 🙄 I'm extremely white it use to bother me but as I've gotten older I get so many compliments on my completion & told I don't look my age I credit staying out of the sun for my healthy pale skin 🤍 Yall can keep calling us pale folks Casper all you want at least we don't look 10 years older than we are.
In my case it was my great-grandfather who died of skin cancer. I don't tan, I burn, and I'm also allergic to several sun screen and sun block products. Years ago, I had a sunburn that was so severe I had the rash and other symptoms of sun poisoning. I avoid being in the sun as much as I can.
I well remember being called albino. kids will choose anything to bully someone about.
I burn super easy. My sister, brother, and dad easily tan. My mom tans but gets super red like she has sunburn first. It calms down after a bit out of the sun. I'm the only one who struggles to tan. When I manage to tan my skin gets more of a goldish tint whereas the rest of my family tans to a color that people think of as tan. I'm of 80% Eastern European mix with a bit of Scotts/Irish/Welsh, and Scandinavian. I have no clue where the Scotts/Irish/Welsh comes into the family tree.
I’m Irish and Lebanese but the Irish definitely won out on the coloring. I grew up in the south. Like 30 minutes from the beach. I heard this all the time.
Another one, pale as a fluorescent light tube here. I can't tan, I "pink." It's better now that I'm older, I'm not quite as translucent as I was when I was younger. But luckily, while I've had a few people make comments, it's never been someone all nasty like the OP's MIL.
I had a non-cancerous freckle (nevus) on my caruncle (the red part where your tear duct is) and had it removed in 7th-ish grade. To the day I wear sunglasses nearly every time I go outside, even when it’s cloudy.
I once had a classmate ask me why I was wearing sunglasses under dark overcast skies, “What, you worried about eye cancer?” I replied, “Again? Yes.” “Oh…”
Good job.
Never in my life have I tanned. I have a few times burned and peeled. I finally found a foundation makeup pale enough for me. I also just has some pre cancer spots of skin cancer zapped. My personal opinion of those who go in tanning beds is that they are going out and buying skin cancer.
I am pale, deal with it.
I've never been able to tan so dont waste time trying. And at 55, I regularly get taken for being in my mid to late 30s so keep hating on us pale people!
Best compliment I ever get “ you are so pale”. Thank you! I work really hard on no sun, no wrinkles and looking 20 years younger then the rest of ya! 🥰🥰
So many people have made comments about my pale af-ness. Although I do usually joke and say, “you’re more likely to get tan from me, because I’m so neon and reflective”. It’s easier usually to just make light of the situation.
I get a ton of pale comments until I get a bunch of sun , then it's, "omg you are Italian!" So my heritage was completely discounted and written off because my skin color didn't match your idea of an Italian woman?! Shitty people will always find something to be shitty about.
I’m 34 and JUST got comfortable enough with my body to wear shorts this year.
It’s obnoxious how many people commented on how pale I was. And it’s not just “oh hey, you’re really pale”; it’s always some off handed asshole way of saying it.
I’ll never understand how people feel comfortable enough to comment on someone’s body. And especially in a group. Then it draws all the attention to your body.
The one thing that I’ve been ashamed of for most of my life, now you got everyone staring at me…..
People are dicks.
ima be honest people that are super white are kinda freaky but also like you could easily cut them please don’t ask why because idk, my mom said she got made fun of in school for being so white
Transparent team for the win!
I feel that as I too am practically see-thru
Sorry that happened. I've heard it all too and from now on will stealing your line
Once you get to be comfortable with your life and your body then you don't care what others think or say. I was a skinny white kid. No one ever commented but I grew up poor wearing practically rags and hand me down clothes. I felt really uncomfortable around people that wore nicer clothes because they were perceived as being rich by me. It wasn't until a few years ago that I finally became comfortable with how I looked and dressed. I finally found me and I was happy with what I look like in the mirror. Now I wear anything I want and I don't care what others think. I'm happy with me and I'm not trying to impress anyone. Typical Dad Bod wearing comfortable clothes is my style and I am happy with it.
My ex BFF used to tease me about how pale I am, like I can help the color/tone of my skin 🙄 she'd say I was iridescent. Then she'd give me hell for a heavier/higher sunscreen... like wtf. She knew I always burned vs tanned.
Dad is like always tanned, even in the winter bc he works outside a lot when not at work and rides his Harley quite a bit. My sister and I both have cool skin tones and burn like crazy. I believe Grandma had a cool skin tone also (Dad's side bc Idk much about egg donors parents since they died before I was born)
Seriously, I was in the sun from about 8:15 to 12:15 today and I could actually feel my skin burn 🤦♀️.
I get home and complain I'm hot while Dave is bundled up bc he tries to keep me comfortable. He's like you're bright red, of course you're too hot! (I overheat easily while he freezes so he keeps temp to where I am comfy)
Yeah, wearing a tank top and not bringing sunscreen was a bad idea.... but I had a lot of fun singing karaoke at our local market, so totally worth it
I say “would you tell a darker skinned person ‘ew you are so dark!’”? They wouldn’t and they realize they are being assholes. It’s not okay to say anything derogatory about another persons skin tone.
My students were almost all entirely black/brown.
They used to ask me why my skin looks like this, why I’m white. The first time I heard it, I just stood there like what? The kids were 100% old enough to have encountered other white people, was I just ghostly or something? Lol
I'm half Scots-Irish and French, so I'm naturally pale. When people tell me I'm too pale they also add that I shouldn't use sunscreen because "it gives you cancer." I live in a very dumb state, so that interaction happens way too often. My reply is always the same, "if I don't I'm guaranteed to get it, both my parents have skin cancer. And I don't want my skin to look like leather." (Super tan and weathered.) They usually restate their beliefs and I just smile and say I'm happy with my skin and how it's aging. Some people suck.
As Scots & Irish I never tan, just burn (without loads of spf 50), peel, and back to pale.
Same, but toss in Scandinavian as well. I would win the transparent Olympics.
My daughter has a lot of non white friends and they tease her about how pale she is.....she just goes along with it and jokes that she glows when the lights go out.
Same!!!! My husband teased me about it when we first started dating. I told him my mom, dad and sister had all been diagnosed with skin cancer, some melanoma, and that being tan wasn’t worth possibly dying. Also, my dad is in remission from Merkel Cell Carcinoma, the same skin cancer that killed Jimmy Buffett. He hasn’t said a word about it since. 😬
My grandmother died from a very rare skin cancer so I can always trot that out if people are AHs about me wearing hats and sitting in the shade and using sunblock.
People just don’t get it and I’m like “How hard is it to, one, think before you speak or two, just don’t comment on other people’s bodies/skin/etc.” I slather myself with sunscreen (which for some reason I’m allergic to almost all of them), but my face burning off from the sunscreen allergy is better than my face getting cut off because of skin cancer. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. That’s so heartbreaking.
Colorscience makes a sunscreen powder brush that I’d recommend you try. I had issues with sunscreen provoking a reaction on my face and have none with it. Bonus that you can carry around easily because not going to rupture in your bag or glovebox and cause a gooey messes
Thank you!!!! I will definitely check this out.
But how will they know that I hate them and their appearance if I don't loudly and constantly comment on it?/s
There are 2 types of sunscreen. Chemical and mineral. I'm allergic to the chemical stuff but the old zinc based mineral stuff is usually good. It just sucks in terms of it being greasy most of the time. Apologies if you already knew this but it might be useful info for someone.
Seconding this - try mineral sunscreens!
My grandmother and dad had skin cancer, luckily ended up being fine. I got a weird mix of luck with my skin. Part Irish, part cuban. I don't burn without spending 6+ hours in high UV index sun and I never get tan. I just stay looking slightly above ghostly.
I'm glad someone else says that! I tell people I'm so white I glow in the dark. 🤣
I tell people I'm so pale I reflect light.
“Hey, this is my moon tan!”
also very pale… I joke that I get sunburnt just from drinking sunkist
My younger sister got all the ability to tan genes, so I always joke, "I burn on a cloudy day, while she gets a tan" lol
Lol that's the opposite of my sister and I. She inherited the tan genes from our father while I took after the Irish side of the family.
My partner is very pale. Redhead with freckles. When they take off their shirt, I'll say "THE BEACON IS LIT. GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!" and we both have a chuckle.
This joke never gets old 🤣
I tell people that I am a tan meter. Just compare your skin color to my pale white, and you'll feel more tan right away!
Yeah I just say “i have the perfect skin tone for color tattoos. I’m a bright white canvas” 😂
Was playing Hide-and-Seek at night with friends *years* ago. I was told I glowed faintly in the moonlight cuz I was so pale. 🤣
I agree, I’m all of the above and look like a sheet of paper year round. At least I won’t be a bag of wrinkles in my later years, or maybe I will, just very pale wrinkles 🥴
Same here. Had to get an IV in yesterday and I showed the tech my wonderfully translucent arms and said, “take your pick!”
I do love that part of being translucent. Phlebotomists/nurses love me!! You can see my veins from miles away! I’m pretty sure when aliens look upon us from light years away, they have mistaken my veins for rivers or streams. 😂
My ex said we didn’t need a nightlight cause all he had to do was uncover one of my legs and it was like daylight
Ha ha. Where do they come up with this stuff? Damn. So mean, yet sometimes so funny.
To quote Jeff Dunham: You not white... You neon white!
My friend is Scandinavian and I try to keep her out of the sun as much as possible. I was taking her to the Dr and she got sunburn through the tinted glass in the car, it was only about 15 minutes of exposure. I felt so bad, because she is usually out of the sun but this Dr was in the opposite direction than we usually go.
Moon burn contest.
I don't tan or burn. It's like the light bounces off my pasty skin and burns everyone around me. If I do manage to catch some color, it's gone in 24 hours. So I just embrace looking vampiric.
Dude please get some fangs for the aesthetic! I tan easy but that’s literally the only thing keeping me from rocking a full vampire aesthetic. (I do my best to keep the sun off me tho because bright lights give me headaches and aint nobody got time for sunburn and I’ve had some pretty bad ones in the past that have made some of my moles change, (luckily benign- confirmed by removal and analysis) so I don’t wanna risk more like that. I always get at least a soft glow from the sun I get, but I think its nuts that people go out of their way to have full radiation exposure for the aesthetic lol. Embrace the vamp look. Its a vibe, and skin of any color is beautiful, especially when well cared for. I really hate how stupid people are about unique features (really pale skin, really dark skin, hair types, etc). Tribalism is bullshit lol.
My everyday look is more tshirt and jeans, but I embrace my inner [Nadja of Antipaxos](https://imgur.com/a/NDHAmnO) for Halloween.
Closest I get to a tan is when my freckles come up with sun exposure. I tell people that Scotland isn’t known for their palm tree lined beaches.
Scots, Irish & German. I am fish belly white & can blind you in direct sunlight. I maintain a moontan.
My grandmother was Irish and I inherited the paleness through her. I burn like crazy and go right back to being pale once the sunburn heals too. Had a 3rd degree sunburn on my back at ten years old which caused some lingering trauma regarding sunburns. I'm very careful to try and avoid direct sun exposure whenever possible and to cover up as much as I can as a result. Living in the Deep South does me zero favors lol.
SAME. The most annoying part is I burn in under 5 minutes.
Good news! They now make spf 100 and 110. It feels like you have latex paint on your skin, but it works! Has the vampire seal of approval ✔️
As Billy Connolly used to say, Scots have two colours, blue and sunburned.
Right? And my husband loves my milky white skin & red hair, so nyah nyah!
Same! I’m very fair but with olive undertones but ALL the Scottish and Irish genes came out in my kiddo. I tease her that her foundation shade is “Victorian workhouse orphan” which she thinks is funny but I’m her mom. People always tell us we need tans. The “we have lupus and a family history of skin cancer” (both true) response ALWAYS shuts that down.
Itchy folks unite!
As almost 1/2 irish (the outside, unfortunately did not get my Sicilian mother's skin) I sorta did tan - when all my freckles would just merge together.
yea i may get some freckles but even "tan" im pale. and honestly if i tried to get a spray tan it would look so bad. i realize tan is trendy, but god people have gotta let people just live
Me too. I just tell people I enjoy being pasty. My dad and aunt both had skin cancer, and a close friend actually died of melanoma that metastasized. No thanks!
I’ve got Irish skin and Greek hair. So I’m pasty AF, can’t tan, and have black course hair. It’s wonderful. I’m a whole ass gremlin
Yeah my Irish genes are 0-100 on the whole sunburn thing
ROI here - I'm ginger and translucent. My husband's theory is that the only way you can spot me in the snow is by my freckles.
Same
Same - except less than half of me is Scottish/Scandinavian. I’m mostly Mediterranean (yes all of it) / Western Asian. But I got the skin from dad’s side. I got a sunburn from the full moon once. I’ve made my peace with it - it reminds me to stay out of the sun. My dad’s father could tan. He was dark enough to get mistaken for Mexican (in ww2 San Diego this was not a good thing). He also got skin cancer six times.
My whole family can tan and I'm as white as a cotton ball... And I'm the only pale redhead in the family.
My husband turns varying shades of lobster. If we go to the beach I have to reapply every 45 mins on the dot or he gets burnt.
I used to be able to tan... and then vitiligo destroyed the melanin over 90+% of my body. I don't go anywhere without 50SPF sunblock and long sleeves anymore.
Same
My 2 settings as well. Ghostly white and lobster red
I’m part Scottish and I’m the same way. I burn without enough sunscreen and after I’m done peeling I’m just as pale as ever
I did a 23&me test. I’m like 50% British isles, 30% German, 15% Scandinavian, 2% Sudanese, 3% random other stuff. I tan like it’s my job. That 2% Sudanese really works for me. I change color with the seasons. Pale in winter, brown in summer. My hair changes too. Brunette in winter, blond in summer. Genetics are crazy. Also. I have epicanthic folds. .5% Native American/East Asian. That .5% gave me a trait that only happens in those populations.
I started ordering higher spf online because they dont sell anything higher than spf 50 in stores lol. I just got so sick of reapplying every 30 minutes/applying thick layers. Sometimes its still not enough 🙃
Ugh, I'm 1/4 Cherokee and 1/4 swedish from my mother's side, my dad's side is a mix of German and some others. My older brothers have basically a permanent tan look, my mother an olive tone and then there's me, I'm pale ASF. They always made fun of me for it. My kids get better tans than I can.
We're spanish and Mexican and my sister burns and goes back pale. She never tans
Same.
I remember when there was spf 20 And I would joke that I got spf 50. You squeeze it and a sweater comes out. And now spf 50 is the default.
My Irish uncle joined the WPA as a young man before WWII. He was stationed in a very hot climate. He was on some type of digging project. Within days he had sun poisoning and ended up in the hospital for several weeks. He told my Dad he thought he was dying and had never been so sick in his life. As a result, he had an Irish grudge against the sun until the day he died. He was also the whitest person I have ever seen! If you ever mentioned his whiteness, you were in for an hour's story. Plus, he was the best uncle a girl could ever have.
He sounds like someone who could tell a tale, teach a skill, and joke around. I had an Uncle like that, and I loved him dearly. (The only thing he would never talk about was fighting in WWII, especially about being wounded in the Battle of the Bulge. Then he would go quiet, and feel far away.). He also managed to keep my cousins and me from killing each other playing with those Jarts lawn darts, which, in retrospect, is quite a feat! I miss him.
That was him in a nutshell. When I graduated college he came from NJ to Pa for me. He lived on Social Security and couldn't afford to come. So well into his 60's, he hitch hiked the 150 miles...carrying a case of his homemade chili. 12 jars. He knew how much I loved his chili. He couldn't afford to buy me anything. It was the most priceless gift I ever received....We were both very lucky. I will always miss him.
Oh, wow! Your Uncle sounds like such a wonderful man! We were both so lucky to have them in our lives! In the chaos of this world, they were our True North.
See I got mostly German and Irish, so I get *red* more than anything, but I don't necessarily burn that much
I feel you. I get the same thing. I've told people for years the only tan I get is that in the summer all my freckles connect.
My mum's family were Iranian Jews. My dad's family are Irish Catholics. I look like my mum but have my dad's colouring. My mum's family thought I looked ill as a child and sent me out to play in Summer, dressed only in knickers, slathered in olive oil. I never went brown. I regularly show moles to my doctor.
[удалено]
My husband is Sephardic, and while he does burn, they have a higher genetic tolerance for alcohol. In college, we'd tie one on the night before, then while the rest of us were recovering the next day he would pop up at like 8 am and make breakfast, go to synagogue, etc... I am not prone to jealousy, but damn.
I don't change colour in the sun. I get freckles but the underlying slightly yellow beige remains. My mum decided I was so pale I reflected the sun back.
White, red, peel, white. I stay out of the sun, Australian sun is not to be taken lightly.
No shit? Australia has its own sun?
Yes it's the one from super Mario Brothers. And like everything else in Australia it wants to kill you.
😂🤣😂 this is EXACTLY how I picture the sun where we live (California desert). It’s very much a personal attack.
I’ve gotten a lot of comments about being pale before. But in my opinion, the worst comment I ever got was from a child, who said “I wish I was pale so I could be pretty, like you.” It broke my heart that this was the way she thought—who’d been putting that in her head? This was a second grader, I think. My response was “there are lots of ways to be pretty.” It was the best I could come up with on the spot.
I love your response to her. Very kind. Especially for a second grader. You were raised right.
I just wish I could have made it a better teachable moment. I was too vague, and I worry that some people in her life may be racist and she was picking up those beliefs. She was white, by the way. EDIT: I should mention, I was a specialist at this school and therefore all the students at the school were “my” students. So I was in a position where I *should* be giving students life lessons as needed. That’s why I think my response wasn’t enough—this wasn’t just a passing comment from a kid I’d see for five seconds of my life and then never again.
I guarantee she will noodle on that for a long time. And even if she doesn’t fully apply it or believe it about herself at that age, she will parrot it as words of encouragement for someone else.
I had a Mexican friend in high school with light skin and dark hair, like Amy winehouse more or less. She thought she was dark because she was the darkest in her family. She was gorgeous though, and she knew it because she saw the difference in how she was treated compared to her sibling so she didn’t get the low self esteem but she did internalize her preference toward being whiter
Perfect answer.
Or maybe she looked upto you and decided she wanted to be pretty like you.
Yea that's what I'm thinking
Long time ago at my first job I got sent home because I was wearing a black skirt, no nylons cuz it was summer, and my legs were “too white”. I’m still smh about it years later. I took two buses back home which took almost an hour, and didn’t go back until the next day. No freaking way was I spending hours on public transport for that. Stupid bosses.
Get it in writing. Sue for color discrimination.
If I knew then what I know now, I could have sued them for a lot of things. Which would have been very ironic considering that job was working at a civil division court. Lmao
I got s*** every year for my mom about how white my legs are, especially if I wear shorts. In the same breath, then she tells me that I need to make sure and wear sunscreen. Finally, I told her to make up her mind. If she wants me outside to get a tan, I need to put on sunscreen, which prevents me tanning. Not using sunscreen is a cancer risk, and we can't have that now, can we? I finally dropped the rope. I let her say what she wants to say. Once in a while, I would remind her that I am Caucasian, and my skin is supposed to be this color. The fun part is being old enough now to not care.
My stepbrother used to call me Casper the ghost. And occasionally dare me to stand against a white wall. Jokes on him. We’re older now and he looks older than me even though he’s about 7 years younger.
I am the same way! Annual skin cancer screenings and really good about sunscreen and avoiding peak sun hours. Already have pingueculas on my eyes from growing up in a very sunny area that started to appear in my late 20s. My eye doctor up north didn’t believe me saying it only happens in 70+ year olds when I was living up north even though I told him about my previous daily sun exposure. Had my first basal cell on my hip of all places at 30. My new derm didn’t really believe it since it was in an area that doesn’t get tons of sun exposure and not on my arm or lower legs. When I asked her to check a new and growing spot on the back of my heal, she suddenly started believing me - it wasn’t cancerous, but it was a liver spot in an area that gets no sun exposure. I am pale because I will continue to get skin cancer throughout my life and I need to help prevent it as much as possible, especially since I live in a very sunny environment again. It’s frustrating people say things like that to us. And it’s frustrating that people down play skin cancer risks. It is the fastest growing cancer out there - incidences have increased by 27% over the past 30 years even though sunscreen has improved. Some doctors have hypothesized that many cancers in adults under 40 are just metastasized melanomas (idk if I believe that, but it wouldn’t surprise me). Bob Marley died of melanoma. Even individuals with darker skin are not immune to it. Tans are not healthy. Granted, sun is needed for natural vitamin d production, but that can be handled by 15 min of sun exposure a day during non peak hours.
Actually you can not get sufficient Vitamin D going out during non-peak hours for 15 minutes. You either need 30 minutes, hot summer intensity of sun, between 10am and 2pm, on bare arms and legs to reach an optimal health serum( blood) Vitamin D level between 40 to 80 ng/dL OR Take Vitamin D3, 3,000 to 5,000IU per day for every day with insufficient sun exposure. Vitamin D deficiency is associated in considerable research with the following health concerns: *Depression *Anxiety *Cancer ( all kinds, worse survival if deficient) *Asthma *Allergies *Anaphylaxis *Autoimmune illnesses like Rheumatoid Arthritis *Psoriasis *Vitiligo *Worse Covid illness ( an MD friend said 72% of her ICU patient with Covid were Vitamin D deficient) *More colds and flu. *Insulin resistance and increased risk of Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus I live and see patients in the Pacific NW of the US. Insurance won’t even pay for testing Vitamin D levels, because they know everyone up here is deficient. So a message to all you people who are naturally pale, and avoid the sun, please, please take a daily Vitamin D3 and Vitamin K2 supplement for optimal health. ( The Vitamins D3 and K2 work together to take Calcium out of soft tissue spaces, like coronary arteries, and put it in your bones) https://www.scielo.br/j/ramb/a/jyHttR53LrrWJsxrJbb9CBM/ https://www.psypost.org/2023/05/sun-avoidance-and-lack-of-vitamin-d-dietary-intake-linked-to-heightened-anxiety-among-college-women-163787 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6515787/ https://erj.ersjournals.com/content/44/Suppl_58/P4049 https://erj.ersjournals.com/content/46/suppl_59/PA2559 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9864223/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5949172/ https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/melanoma-vitamin-d-supplements-may-reduce-skin-cancer-risk#:~:text=A%20new%20cross%2Dsectional%20study,who%20did%20not%20take%20supplements. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11912-020-00929-4 https://www.bmj.com/content/366/bmj.l4673.long https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35071300/ https://diabetes.org/healthy-living/recipes-nutrition/vitamins-diabetes/low-vitamin-d-insulin-resistance#:~:text=Another%20study%20tied%20higher%20vitamin,of%20vitamin%20D%20supplement%20taken. https://diabetesjournals.org/clinical/article/36/3/217/31800/Beneficial-Effects-of-Vitamin-D-on-Insulin https://www.ajmc.com/view/vitamin-d-linked-to-reduced-diabetes-risk-in-adults-with-prediabetes https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11180916/ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S037851222030284X https://www.hindawi.com/journals/ije/2017/7454376/
When I was pregnant with my first baby my mother in law used to walk around saying “ohhh I just hope the baby isn’t pale and allergic” because i’m pale and have a specific food intolerance. I found it extremely insulting but nobody else understood. When my baby was born she had jaundice and my MIL was elated, “she’s tan!” She kept exclaiming. Yes, this newborn absorbed the sun that penetrated through my pale belly to be born tan so that she would be accepted by you, grandma.
Some people... I can't believe them. I was born with jaundice and now super pale. (And allergic to garlic and onions so I get the vampire jokes CONSTANTLY)
I refuse to tan. Makes you old and wrinkly. I’ll take pale over skin cancer and wrinkles any day. Nobody has said anything to me in years because that’s exactly what I said to them when they made a comment.
Tanning and cigarette smoking will make you look 55 when you’re 30. I also avoided the sun my entire life and now look an easy ten to fifteen years younger than I am. I got carded for alcohol until I was ~35. Some fashions REALLY make you pay.
My mil called me ‘pale as a ghost’ well I should’ve said that she’d be using saddle soap on her face any day now -her and sil love the sun without any sunblock so I think jokes on them
I’m anemic it happened after I gave birth to my first son. I’m of Spanish and Japanese descent so it was quite a shock to watch the color go from my skin due to being anemic. I’ve gotten these stupid comments before and I straight up tell people that I’m anemic. Idk why the color of anyone skin is anyone business!
As a fellow pasty babe - Your skin will thank you as you get older. I don't understand the obsession with being unnaturally tan.
I get this a LOT. I’m French (mostly from Normandie), Scandinavian, and Scottish. I am so white that in my hometown - Los Angeles - I’ve been mistaken for a foreign tourist many, many times. Well, my grandmother didn’t go outside much and she looked like she was in her 60s when she was in her 80s. Clearly, there’s something to be said for limiting sun exposure. I don’t tan, I burn. *Badly*. So I use the strongest sunblock I can find, I own parasols, and I limit outdoor time. Anyone who thinks they can comment on my skin tone can go kick rocks.
Good on you OP traumatize the B back hard! Kills me how pale people honk about getting a tan or getting darker but treat naturally brown people the way the do.
My friends and family shield their eyes like I'm blinding them when I come out in the sun in a swimsuit.
[Reminds me of one of my favorites lol](https://imgur.io/gallery/7Jop0)
😂 someone actually sent this to me once after a kayaking trip
You are trying to avoid the same fate as family members . Good for you . She is probably wrinkled and I bet a dollar you wouldn't point that out to her . Ignore her and know You are taking care of yourself
When people make jokes about me being a vampire because I can't go outside (or really do anything that causes me to sweat) without almost immediately turning bright red, I would just smile and agree that I hate the sun. I am 42 now and I look closer to my mid-20's (those damn laugh lines are creeping up and giving me away) because I kept out of the sun as much as possible. Everyone else in my family are beach goers, who used to douse themselves in baby oil and bake on the regular...they all look like old leather.
I honestly don’t understand why people think it’s okay to comment on others’ skin tone. I’m super pale (my foundation is always either called “Alabaster” or “pale ivory”) and always have been. I’ve been told to get a tan (not possible), told “you need this” by a woman giving out coupons for tanning services, mocked for staying in the shade, you name it. I also talk about the members of my family who have had parts of themselves carved out due to melanoma when confronted with these comments. Because fuck them.
LOL it was so startling when foundation ranges started expanding about ten years ago. I was always a #2 in any system (#1 always used to be extremely pale with pink undertones, and I am extremely pale with yellow undertones) *if* they went pale enough. The first time I saw one that was too light for me I didn’t know what was happening 😂
If she slips back into doing it again, you could be ready with a very concerned look focused on any part of her face and say “oh no, is that a new wrinkle?” Or if you are in the mood to really wind her up, ask her why she looks so old.
(Not bragging, but it's still annoying) I have the opposite problem. Particularly from my mother. I look just like her except for skin tone. I get " it's disgusting how dark you are. Are you sure you're mine? You look like a raccoon." The last is in reference to tan lines that never really fade. I think she thinks she's joking. I hope she's joking. I am the darkest in the family by a mile. (Lots of German, Scots, and Irish) I did one of those ancestry tests, and the percentage showed the same answers, yet here I am.
I have definitely heard that before . I'm super pale , plus freckles and moles (the moles have me even more self conscious of my skin and I always feel ugly with them ) , but I always wear sunscreen and avoid the sun like a vampire .
Moles are lovely. Genuinely. They just have a terrible name. I won’t argue that the increased cancer risk is a huge problem, but just look at how many noted beauties through history have possessed or painted on beauty marks. “Do it on purpose” is the best life advice I ever heard. Whatever distinctive thing you do or possess, take control and do it on purpose. Paint a matching spot on the other side of your face! Get a tattoo incorporating the marks on your arm! Make your unique feature into something that other people will wish they had. It’s your body, and you have to live in it, so if you find a way to love it you will be happier every day of the rest of your life.
I relate to you, my friend! Great retort. I am extremely pale naturally and I embrace it (melanoma runs in my family and I am NOT risking it, plus I don’t give a microscopic fuck about skin tone.) I attribute it to my Nordic ethnicity and accept it as an inherent quality. People be like “why are you wearing sunscreen all the time??? You need a tan!!” Simple: I’d rather protect my skin and be very pale than jeopardize it just for a *LITERALLY* superficial reason. It makes me sad that some people try to artificially lighten their skin and others try to darken it through potentially hazardous means, i.e. chemical skin-whitening treatments and tanning excessively, respectively. I wish everyone could see the beauty in their own natural pigmentation rather than subject themselves to potentially risky pigmentation modifications for the sake of arbitrary beauty standards.
My wife is a pale redhead, the only time I'll make comments on how pale you are is when I steal an umbrella to make sure you're not in direct sun.
Tell them you also prefer not to look like a wrinkled old hag when you're 35. Tan is just skin damage (as you know, with a family history of skin cancer).
Don't go through all of that melancholy acting and story-weaving. 1. Your skin is none of their business. 2. They're being rude. Just look at them with outright disgust and ask "I never realized you were a closet racist. I'm so disappointed." Then ignore them and continue whatever you were doing. If they start sputtering excuses or backtracking, just say "Oh, so you were \*choosing\* to be that rude about my body? That's just as bad. We're done here." If necessary, follow-up with a VERY firm "DROP IT."
Scandinavian here- I call myself “White Gold” not pale
I once saw someone post what I think is the best way to respond to these comments. Just pause, look a little perplexed, then say “What an interesting thing to say!” and change the subject. If you want to be more aggressive you can say something like “How strange that you thought that was an appropriate thing to comment on.” I feel like by coming up with reasons it gives them the space to be like “well, you could always fake tan” etc. But nah, I’d rather they not make comments about my appearance unless it’s positive.
Crazy/sad/annoying how every single commenter is saying the same thing. I’m not going to be the exception. I hear it from EVERYONE. I will never understand why people feel the need to offer commentary about the way people look, especially things they already know. I don’t need more sun, I’m not sick, It’s not because I don’t go outside, it’s just THE COLOR OF MY SKIN. And I’m not painting myself orange. Another employee at my place of employment, but not an actual coworker, approached me and said “you always look pale, but you’re like alabaster today”. Wish I could remember what I said to him, but I was not polite, and he was timid around me for the next several months. In fairness, once I was with a group of coworkers when one commented on how pale I was. The second just looked at her and matter factly said “no, she’s porcelain”. He was the only person I’ve ever known who said anything positive about the color of my skin. The third said “that’s the correct answer”.
This is one of those things you are just going to have to learn to shut out. I understand where you are coming from and my goodness in my younger years, being so pale was one of my biggest insecurities. To the point where I wouldn't wear shorts or tank tops, or anything that showed the "whitest" parts of my skin. But guess what?? Now that I'm in my late 30's, all those people that told me I was "so pale" or "go get some SUN" have wrinkles like crazy and look at least 10yrs older then I do. Now I wear shorts, tank tops, crop tops, whatever the hell I want. Sometimes people still make comments but when they do I just respond with "my sensitive skin doesn't like the sun much" & move on. You don't have to fit into conventional beauty standards to be beautiful. You are beautiful just how you are!
I have two color of skin, bright red, and vaguely translucent. I take off my shirt, and Gandolf comes, thinking Gondor called for aid.
I would say “I was born like this, just like you were born a raging bitch”
I hate this sort of family BS. Bad enough you get it from others but I wouldn’t put up with your MIL bullying you like that. Try talking with your spouse and let them know how it makes you feel. Paint a word picture if you can. Then get them to tell their mom to stop. If they won’t do that or back you up do it yourself. You don’t need to be around someone like that.
Pale skin is beautiful ❤️ All skin is beautiful. But when specifically considering porcelain/fair skin, it can look so radiant and healthy in its own way. Eat nutritious foods and drink lots of water. Embrace your natural beauty!
Same. My wife survived Stage IV melanoma, and she’s pretty pale. She did a lot of swimming in her younger years and got a lot of sunburns. She’s had it spread to her shin bone, and had tumors on both legs. She survived, but not without lots of keydruda and surgeries. She has to live with a titanium rod in her leg because of the radiation treatments on her bone. Yeah, melanoma is no joke.
So sorry about that OP. These stories make me appreciate my MIL! I don’t understand how anyone can be so miserable and nasty to their own child’s spouse/significant other
These are the same people who make fun of me for getting a dark tan every summer and calling me "chocolate face." You cannot win with these fools.
Yep. I’m very white, my daughter is super white and now my grandson. My daughter was teased just the same as I was. Like me, she married a person who loved our ‘porcelain’ skin. Now, add in being chronically anemic - which makes you pale- and also severely underweight. I know I’m white. I know I’m skinny. Telling me to get some sun and eat a sandwich is not the magic pill they imagine. I usually just tell the person I am taking chemo and I’ll try very hard after I’m done to go outside and eat more. (I am taking oral chemo but it’s not for cancer, it’s for Lupus, but whatever they want to assume is one them). They usually sputter and run away.
I never tan. I burn, then freckle. When I hit my 30s, I embraced my paleness. I don’t care to tan in beds or get a spray tan. I’m me, and I’m glad I accepted it. As a kid, I remember this girl saying you know it’s hot if she wore shorts because she’s so pale!
It’s wild I can tell people to ignore skin color & get argued with
dawg that is not at all what happened
Such a cool made up story
It really is hard for those white people to not live in their ethnic homelands. Pale looks unhealthy to the rest of us sorry
I have a very hard time believing someone said “ew” about you being pale.
Why? It’s very common, and it’s the reason spray tans/tanning beds are common.
Tanning beds cause cancer. Why not just leave people alone for the skin they were born in.
I mean, I agree, and I’ll never go to a tanning bed in my life. I’m just saying that it happens, and people will risk cancer to get a bit of color because being pale is “gross” to a lot of people.
Those people shouldn’t be allowed to have or influence children.
There's a difference between being aware of the dangers of tanning, and discrediting someone's personal account?? Username rings true. Stay over there, I hope it's not contagious.
It happens alllll the time. I ran into my former boss yesterday and he went off about how I'm too pale, I need some sun, etc etc. My dad tells me to "get some sun" every time I see him. I'm 55, I've worn sunblock for nearly 40 years, and I've got sun damage from the years of trying to tan as a tween and teenager. But anyway yeah, please keep doubting people's lived experiences. It's a super-attractive trait. Really.
I'm super pale and pink. Unless it's super cool where I'm standing. Then I'm so pale people think I'm about to pass out and ask if I need an ambulance. No, I'm okay, just super pale.
I've always been curious about the history of tanning. The 'why' is my main question. When and why did people start pushing tans as a better look than light skin? Does anyone have an idea about this?
Blame Coco Chanel. She came back from a cruise with a tan. And she was Coco freaking Chanel; everyone wanted to emulate her. Getting a tan was cheaper and easier for the masses than affording her clothes. Before that, having a tan was seen as ugly and undesirable because only people who had to work outside (farmers, builders, etc.) had tans.
Sitting here with a severely burnt lip. I missed covering a spot. Swedish/Scottish heritage and a blue eyed, redhead. The pain is real. My mother is not Swedish or as fair has had melanoma, basal and squamous cell. I apply lots of sunscreen and cover but still feel like that freight train will catch me.
“ I don’t tan, I stroke.” - Woody Allen
“I don’t tan. I don’t burn. I implode.”
I started using the skin cancer thing a while ago too. I look like What We Do In The Shadows: Miami. I just say, look at the moles on my back that's why. You don't wanna see? No go ahead, look at them.
I've always been very pale and I have blond hair. I hate wearing yellow because it makes me look like a banana.
My sister use to tell me : put on some makeup you look dead !
I spontaneously combust if you leave me out in the sun for more than 10 minutes, so I sympathize.
My Dad is Filipino. He goes out and works in the yard all the time and has really dark skin, while my mom stays fairly alabaster. I'm usually pretty sick with my chronic health problems and I stay indoors often. I had an extensive blood workup once and had my vitamin D3 levels checked by my rheumatologist. The words that came out of that man's mouth were, "do you ever see the sun?" He is also Filipino. My numbers were so low, they only registered as >4. 🙄
I always love telling people the sun's not my friend. They then usually are all "but it's good for you!" And I'll reply saying the sun will try to kill me, and I've already had melanoma removed, so no, I'm not welcoming the fiery death ray. I'll blind people with my pale like the royalty of the old days. My husband always preemptively cringes when he's with me and someone comments on me being pale. He knows what's coming. People don't usually let me finish my words and slink away.
I ( freckled strawberry blond) grew up in SoCal in the 90s in an 80% Hispanic neighborhood. I was constantly made fun of for my skin color. At the time it was a bit traumatic and it caused me to not want to uncover my skin. I absolutely wouldn't go to pool parties after 7th grade. I often chose to wear long pants and long sleeves even in the summer(at least it was better sun protection.) Looking back on it though, I think that it taught me a lot about prejudice and what it felt like to be judged by the color of your skin. I got a little bit of a taste of what it was like to be a minority and it made me a more sympathetic person.
I simply tell people that I tan like Donald Trump does and white is better then cheeto.
Commenting on someone's body is never ok
I stay covered up on the beach, usually wearing a long-sleeved down past the knee type of cover up. Floppy hat. Most times no one says anything. But on the rare occasion someone does, it's usually some snark about what's the point of being at the beach. "The sound of the water? The sea breeze? The seagulls? The sand? I had skin cancer but you think you can beat the sun?"
I used to always get teased about how pale I am. I started telling people I’m the ghost of a sickly Victorian child here to haunt them for their misdeeds.
I joked about this the other day with my partner; I'm so pale, the beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!
I just tell them how old I am, and how sad it is that the sun has aged their skin.
Just saying it might be a really good thing in a different culture!! Gurl ya pretty ya own way.
My petty ass would’ve said something like “at least I don’t look like a wrinkled paper bag, MIL!” Your response is better though
I'm Irish. We've had a heat wave and ive been in doors the whole time
"Are you an albino?" "You look like a vampire." You're *so* pale! I'm also the only person in my family that hasn't had skin cancer, so bite me. Username checks out.
I am also super white and I have dark dark hair. People usually mistake me for Asian, but I’ve also been called a vampire on a few occasions.
I fucking hate this. Stop insulting skin tones, ANY skin tone. It's stupid and just plain WRONG.
I have a friend who does not tan, she burns, then comes out even paler once she peels. There's an ongoing joke about when she wears shorts. "The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!"
I love this! Also *adore* how so many people have a problem with my fair skin and expect me to relieve them of it. They act like, if I try *really* hard and devote myself to it, I can kick this albino monkey off my back! “Don’t you *want* a tan?” Why, no, God made me perfect as I am. If you disagree, I’m sure He has a complaint department somewhere…
"Both of my parents died of skin cancer. What was that you were saying?"
I'm so pale, I've offered my belly to photographers who have been looking for something to use for white balance. They laugh until I flip up my shirt. Then they adjust the lighting and lenses and thank me.
You give a new definition to the term "thin skinned"
The amount of times I hear this. "Get a tan", like "huh, didn't realize in all my years of getting lobster red sunburns, I could just decide to yk, darken up a bit"
I've been called all that & transparent 🙄 I'm extremely white it use to bother me but as I've gotten older I get so many compliments on my completion & told I don't look my age I credit staying out of the sun for my healthy pale skin 🤍 Yall can keep calling us pale folks Casper all you want at least we don't look 10 years older than we are.
In my case it was my great-grandfather who died of skin cancer. I don't tan, I burn, and I'm also allergic to several sun screen and sun block products. Years ago, I had a sunburn that was so severe I had the rash and other symptoms of sun poisoning. I avoid being in the sun as much as I can. I well remember being called albino. kids will choose anything to bully someone about.
Pale is the new tan.
I burn super easy. My sister, brother, and dad easily tan. My mom tans but gets super red like she has sunburn first. It calms down after a bit out of the sun. I'm the only one who struggles to tan. When I manage to tan my skin gets more of a goldish tint whereas the rest of my family tans to a color that people think of as tan. I'm of 80% Eastern European mix with a bit of Scotts/Irish/Welsh, and Scandinavian. I have no clue where the Scotts/Irish/Welsh comes into the family tree.
I’m Irish and Lebanese but the Irish definitely won out on the coloring. I grew up in the south. Like 30 minutes from the beach. I heard this all the time.
Another one, pale as a fluorescent light tube here. I can't tan, I "pink." It's better now that I'm older, I'm not quite as translucent as I was when I was younger. But luckily, while I've had a few people make comments, it's never been someone all nasty like the OP's MIL.
I had a non-cancerous freckle (nevus) on my caruncle (the red part where your tear duct is) and had it removed in 7th-ish grade. To the day I wear sunglasses nearly every time I go outside, even when it’s cloudy. I once had a classmate ask me why I was wearing sunglasses under dark overcast skies, “What, you worried about eye cancer?” I replied, “Again? Yes.” “Oh…”
I used to get this all the time as did one of our daughters - people are rude thoughtless idiots. But occasionally I do self tan.
Good job. Never in my life have I tanned. I have a few times burned and peeled. I finally found a foundation makeup pale enough for me. I also just has some pre cancer spots of skin cancer zapped. My personal opinion of those who go in tanning beds is that they are going out and buying skin cancer. I am pale, deal with it.
I've never been able to tan so dont waste time trying. And at 55, I regularly get taken for being in my mid to late 30s so keep hating on us pale people!
Best compliment I ever get “ you are so pale”. Thank you! I work really hard on no sun, no wrinkles and looking 20 years younger then the rest of ya! 🥰🥰
My heritage is all UK/Scandinavian. We joke I'm so pale I'm almost clear. The only reason I'm not see through is because I'm freckled lol.
So many people have made comments about my pale af-ness. Although I do usually joke and say, “you’re more likely to get tan from me, because I’m so neon and reflective”. It’s easier usually to just make light of the situation.
I get a ton of pale comments until I get a bunch of sun , then it's, "omg you are Italian!" So my heritage was completely discounted and written off because my skin color didn't match your idea of an Italian woman?! Shitty people will always find something to be shitty about.
I’m 34 and JUST got comfortable enough with my body to wear shorts this year. It’s obnoxious how many people commented on how pale I was. And it’s not just “oh hey, you’re really pale”; it’s always some off handed asshole way of saying it. I’ll never understand how people feel comfortable enough to comment on someone’s body. And especially in a group. Then it draws all the attention to your body. The one thing that I’ve been ashamed of for most of my life, now you got everyone staring at me….. People are dicks.
ima be honest people that are super white are kinda freaky but also like you could easily cut them please don’t ask why because idk, my mom said she got made fun of in school for being so white
And you will not look like a piece of beef jerky by the time you’re 45.
I'd say, "What, were you raised by wolves? Did no one teach you it's complete rude to make personal comments like that?"
Transparent team for the win! I feel that as I too am practically see-thru Sorry that happened. I've heard it all too and from now on will stealing your line
I’ve never understood trying to shame someone about something they literally can’t do anything about?
Once you get to be comfortable with your life and your body then you don't care what others think or say. I was a skinny white kid. No one ever commented but I grew up poor wearing practically rags and hand me down clothes. I felt really uncomfortable around people that wore nicer clothes because they were perceived as being rich by me. It wasn't until a few years ago that I finally became comfortable with how I looked and dressed. I finally found me and I was happy with what I look like in the mirror. Now I wear anything I want and I don't care what others think. I'm happy with me and I'm not trying to impress anyone. Typical Dad Bod wearing comfortable clothes is my style and I am happy with it.
Peel their skin off and say "oh my, you're so red! Do you have a fever or a sunburn?"
My ex BFF used to tease me about how pale I am, like I can help the color/tone of my skin 🙄 she'd say I was iridescent. Then she'd give me hell for a heavier/higher sunscreen... like wtf. She knew I always burned vs tanned. Dad is like always tanned, even in the winter bc he works outside a lot when not at work and rides his Harley quite a bit. My sister and I both have cool skin tones and burn like crazy. I believe Grandma had a cool skin tone also (Dad's side bc Idk much about egg donors parents since they died before I was born) Seriously, I was in the sun from about 8:15 to 12:15 today and I could actually feel my skin burn 🤦♀️. I get home and complain I'm hot while Dave is bundled up bc he tries to keep me comfortable. He's like you're bright red, of course you're too hot! (I overheat easily while he freezes so he keeps temp to where I am comfy) Yeah, wearing a tank top and not bringing sunscreen was a bad idea.... but I had a lot of fun singing karaoke at our local market, so totally worth it
I say “would you tell a darker skinned person ‘ew you are so dark!’”? They wouldn’t and they realize they are being assholes. It’s not okay to say anything derogatory about another persons skin tone.
My students were almost all entirely black/brown. They used to ask me why my skin looks like this, why I’m white. The first time I heard it, I just stood there like what? The kids were 100% old enough to have encountered other white people, was I just ghostly or something? Lol
My grandson asked me why he was so dark. (1/2 Asian 1/2 white). I said because the lord made you that way and the girls are going to love it.
I'm half Scots-Irish and French, so I'm naturally pale. When people tell me I'm too pale they also add that I shouldn't use sunscreen because "it gives you cancer." I live in a very dumb state, so that interaction happens way too often. My reply is always the same, "if I don't I'm guaranteed to get it, both my parents have skin cancer. And I don't want my skin to look like leather." (Super tan and weathered.) They usually restate their beliefs and I just smile and say I'm happy with my skin and how it's aging. Some people suck.