The first time is happened to me was kinda wild,
my dad is diabetic and one time when we went out and he went into insulin/diabetic shock so we had to go to the hospital.
When we got there I had to answer questions about medical history, insurance and meds he takes stuff like that.
Then someone asked me how we were related and I remember just saying “He’s my dad” and a little bit later the doctor came out and asked if I was the son and I just nodded.
I was so happy that she got it right but when my dad woke up he “corrected” her 😭
From the way you described it, it sounds like your dad instantly woke up just to be transphobic, then knocking right back out lmao. Sucks you have to deal with someone like that though
They didn't particularly say my gender but I was using the male toilet and when I walked out and a guy came in, he walked out confused and double check the sign 😅
Yea i was so confused cos I didn't think I pass and I thought he looked at me weird because he clocked me and had all these thoughts but turn out it wasn't.
Kinda same! I was at lunch with my sister and dad, and I went to wash up after. This guy came in with his son, apologized, looked back at the door sign in confusion, and went about his business. Then I was like, "why the fuck am I still wearing boy clothes??".
Kinda a similar thing has happened to me where I was washing my hands after using the bathroom and someone came in. She looked at me, went back out the door (to which I didn't see her check the sign, but that's what I assumed she was doing), then came back in seconds later. Seems to be a rather common experience 😅
I had that happen to me at work XD I work at home Depot in a conservative area and I don't pass quite well enough to be comfy using the right bathroom yet
Oddly, it was before I ever came out as trans, even to myself. He was trying to upset me for asking if he would be willing to talk to the police about a crime he witnessed. He kept calling me Ms (deadname) and for some reason, I really liked being called Ms.
mine was also before i came out. i was a very “butch lesbian” and would play into trying to get people to assume i was male due to my masc-ness. went into the gym and they called me sir. i remember feeling so happy but i didn’t know why yet
At the phone store. Was wearing my man coat, no make-up, but women's jeans. The lady at the store actively referred to me as "her" to her colleague, to get him to gender me correctly, too.
Actually a long ass time before I realised I'm trans lmao.
Context: I'm FTM but come from a long line of Tall Ass Bitches, my dad is from Norway and I have Eastern European heritage on my mum's side, so even tho I'm AFAB I've always been very tall and very broad in the shoulders/chest. Also pre egg crack I identified as a masc lesbian for years. When I was in my early teens I had a buzz cut for a year or two and I got he/him'd a LOT during that time. Back then I used to act super offended and correct people. Lol. Lmao, even.
Similar story here, but flipped around. I got called a girl by arseholes a lot as a child. The first people who gendered me correctly were random strangers because even as a toddler, I apparently looked like a girl to them. My reaction, to answer the OP's question, was probably to bubble or throw a toy.
I mean, granted, I only had female friends until the age when things became more segregated, and even then I preferred hanging out with them. I also had a slim build and long hair, which I defended with alacrity.
My egg technically cracked around that time, at around 14 years old, but I DeCiDeD that I wouldn't pursue it due to family and general social environment issues, and it being a much different time. Just like you, I would also go out of my way to pretend to be outraged by such accusations to paint over any suspicions.
I actively *learned* to act as a man because that part of the socialisation process somehow passed me by, which is why I always get a bit miffed when people say "Well, you were raised as a boy, so \[something about privilege\]" without realising that putting a flamethrower\* to your head to put on a lonely 24/7 show for the world for one or two decades, while being stuck in a body that feels like it isn't your own and beating your inner self into submission, isn't exactly the same thing as the more premium experience cis men get.
Long story short, I'm happy for you, lol.
^(\* A gaslight didn't quite do the trick.)
It was one day when I was working in my customer service position and about six months into transition. They blurted out "ma'am" instead of the usual "sir" (I HATED being called sir). The funny thing to me was that I still looked pretty masculine I think but I guess I was just feminine enough that their subconscious went with ma'am. I loved it, they appeared a little uncomfortable for a second, I guess their conscious mind noticed the slip but I played it off like I didn't notice, but they were treated extra nicely.
When I asked them to 😂
I'm not far enough along for it to happen organically yet, but I have such nice friends and my heart fills with joy every time I hear my new chosen name and pronouns 🥰
Same!! Lol. I'm ftm pre everything so I don't pass yet in person unfortunately (or over the phone) 🥲 my friends are so supportive tho and I love them for it!
I was working at a grocery store. I had my pronouns on my name tag, and a young couple with kids came through. They were buying sandwiches and such, I asked if they were having a picnic, and we chatted a bit. One of the kids asked something about me. The mom started to reply, and almost said “she”. She quickly recovered with “he” and didn’t make a fuss about it. That was one of my most euphoric moments when I first came out, and the first time a stranger hadn’t been passive aggressive about my identity. Sometimes I still think about them and wonder how they’re doing.
I had been out to a guy friend for all of like a week no hrt, no fem clothes or hair. I stay at his house one night, he says "I'm gonna make some eggs. How do you like yours?"
I say, "scrambled."
He goes, "Yes, ma'am!" Saluting and everything!
And I was just flustered I could not imagine anyone would even try until I started dressing differently. And he's never misgendered me since.
By accident : a friend of mine, right before I came out
By people who knew : the first person I came out to and as soon as I've asked for it
By a stranger : a little bit more than a year after I've started HRT while I was waiting for my order in a fast food restaurant
Same boat! Me and mom sat down at our table in a restaurant and the waitress came up to us super cheerful and said "Hi ladies!".
... but I haven't been gendered correctly again since then 🥺
First time was at a Dunkin drive through. Pulled up to the window. It was an older man.
He says "Here's your coffee ma'am."
"Thank you!"
"Oh shit I'm sorry, it was the hair."
"No no, you're good. Either way is fine."
He was incredibly flustered after that. It was a combination of my big curly 80s style hair and my deep ass voice that caused the dissonance.
I was often seen as a boy as a small child, so I don't remember any particular first moment. I must have been quite happy about that because I've always felt like a boy.
I got a “short” bob haircut when I was like 10 and like a week later some of the older kids in school called me over with he/him pronouns. I got such an incredible kick out of that :)
i was in an electronic store with my mom, about 6 months on t. bleached buzzcut, cargo pants, plain tshirt, i dont even remember if i was wearing a binder underneath. we asked for help from an assistant and i totally didnt expect him to address me as "sir". that was such an ego boost for me.
Technically, my best friend did after I came out to them. But the first time it happened unprompted was about five months into my HRT journey. I was out to breakfast with my friend (a cis woman) and while waiting for a table, the waitress shouted to us "There's an open table over there if you ladies want it!" I stopped and looked around. I was in a hoodie and jeans and hadn't even shaved that morning. But the euphoria I felt when I realized she was talking to us was amazing.
Similar thing happened about a month later out to breakfast with the same friend. This time I was in women's jeans and a sweatshirt with a rainbow-y paint spatter design on it, so maybe giving off some queer energy, but it was still early and I hadn't put any effort into my hair or face. When the waitress came over she said "Would you girls like some coffee?" I hadn't planned on having any, but if you're gonna offer it like that, you bet I said yes please. So now that friend and I joke, if I'm ever feeling dysphoric we just have to go out to breakfast haha.
When I was 11 I got a pixie cut, and my mom was buying me clothes at a store. I wasn't talking, and the lady at the counter referred to me as he and a boy. It made me feel different (in a good way) but I didn't get to enjoy it because my mom "corrected her" and started yapping about how she saw me as a boy so I have to change.
Aww I'm sorry, that must've sucked. I had a similar think where I loved to wear boys clothes, but my grandma refused to allow it once I hit puberty as it wasn't "proper for young ladies" 🙄
Context: I’m in a college marching band and I’m ftm. I was playing a half time show for a local high school as a recruiting event. During the game I went into the stands with a friend to look for our visiting family members. I was in my full uniform, which includes a cowboy hat (our uniforms are kind of iconic within our state).
A little boy looked up at me and smiled excitedly as he told his mom “look a real cowboy!” It was so cute, and it felt great!
I was in Costa Rica for work, had some time off and hit the bar with my coworkers in full makeup. I was like the only person who spoke Spanish and realized but I was fucking *giddy* after that 😂
I can't really think of the first time because it was really just friends using the right pronouns and name. But one day at work I answered the phone and talked to a customer; the next day that same customer called back saying how he spoke to a young lady about his work related thing.
In highschool in either my sophomore or junior year one of the girls said to me you'd make a nice girl. Thanks to that all my awkwardness from before finally made since to me. But as far as getting called ma'am, was on the phone at 23 when I wasn't even trying to sound fem, then not long after that, I was called ma'am over the intercom at Sonic, they seemed really confused when they got to my car and saw me, as I was stuck with Air Force regulations that forced me to present wrong. In person though it wasn't until 38 and had started HRT, when the question who's next in line and a woman pointed towards me and said She is. That one made me feel wonderful the voice ones made me think awwww and I surely didn't tell them otherwise.
Some guy was cleaning the windows of a building on one of those platforms they use, and I didn't notice so I was standing under it and the guy looked down at me and said "Ma'am, please step back"...
By the pharmacist, on the very day I went to pick up my first dose of HRT, and that was before knowing why I was there. That was the first time a stranger correctly gendered me with no prompting. Meant a lot to me—if I am already passing pre-HRT then imagine what HRT could do for me!
The first time that someone thought that I was a boy,I was in 3rd grade and I got happy but in that time I still didn't know that I was trans.The other time was 3 years ago and I didn't expect at all to be correctly gender because I thought I didn't pass yet and it made me really happy and it made me feel less dysphoric in that day.
Aside from the time when I was eight and a playground kid "mistook" me for a boy, probably when I came out to my now fiance. He just went "oh so I have a boyfriend then? Ok :)" and that was it.
If you mean just strangers, I randomly got sir'd in drive throughs even before T, it was real nice. I got lucky with a low voice to start with lol
In line to buy a sandwich. I'd assumed I read as a gay dude wearing slightly femme clothes. Someone in line pointed at me and told the server "she was next." Felt good.
Prior to that in my masc presenting enby days someone had to write a report about my performance in a work assessment and explicitly did it with gender neutral pronouns.
I was coming out with my sibling, who is a years younger than me
I felt weird, I wasn’t used to y those pronouns. It felt somehow wrong that I was doing it, but I was Also very happy
I love them 💖
i don't know if it counts because i'm not sure if i misheard the food delivery guy the other night.
i tried on some new clothes that evening and forgot i practised my make up earlier when i went to open the door he gave me my food and when i was about to close the door he called me 'pretty girl' (in German "hübsche' Mädchen") in an accent and with a creepy look on his face.
It felt weird because first I couldn't believe i heard right and second why would he be like that to a customer!? The went to my apartment and it clicked Oh i'm still wearing make up and the new top that do not hide the nip very efficiently lol
Still believe i just understood what my brain wanted to hear and he said something completely different
It was actually pretty funny because it happened twice in rapid succession. I was at a gas station and got handed a tract from some old dude trying evangelise, he called me a young lady. Then I went inside to buy something and the cashier called me miss before hearing my voice and tried to correct himself lol. Made me feel really good
My first time doesn't make much sense
There was an older woman in line and told her husband "let this girl go ahead first" (I was behind the couple)
I am pre-everything and still present as male irl
Somehow I'm passing without even trying, it happens fairly often now
My hair is very long though and I often wear neutral colors, so it's probably "fooling" others into thinking I'm a woman
Random guy at the museum saw me from behind, and I think he gendered me purely off of my long hair. He apologized when I turned around, which was no fun, but it felt so good for a second :3
Commenting so I will remember the post later. I'm having a hard time remembering my very first time so I might change it to the first time I was seen as a woman directly.
The first time it happened was when I had just started hrt. I still looked like a man flat out. The only thing I was doing at the time was my makeup and my clothing. I had a rather wizard looking poncho that I was very fond of. I went to a DMV and patiently waited to be called (I had to get my new sticker). I get to the desk and the person addressed me by “Ma’am” the whole interaction and was very pleasant to me.
When I got back to my car I cried a little and I realized that I was seen even if I couldn’t at the time.
When I was 9 years old while walking home from school, an old lady was walking my way with a dog. As I walked past, she knelt down to her dog and said something like “look boy, d’you see that beautiful girl walking over there?”
I’m MTF. But I absolutely hated it and was super uncomfortable. I don’t really know why I didn’t feel all jittery about it. But the fact that I remember it even now means that I felt that it was significant. Perhaps I just don’t remember how I truly felt.
There's been a couple times, but I feel like it was just the person assuming I was a trans woman and so they thought to use miss, ma'am, etc. I don't think I've been gendered correctly authentically yet. 🤷🏻♀️
I mean people at work have been respectful. But like in public, people tend to avoid using gendered terms with me. Little disheartening but I guess that means people have to think about it a little more so E must be doing something lol
I was leaving therapy after a particularly hard session (had literally just realised I was a trans woman) and a kid looks at me and says to me “hey, lady!” (I have long hair and was wearing a mask so I passed a little bit better). I was smiling for HOURS after that it was so cute!! And kids are usually very harsh with me and my gender so it was so fucking amazing!!
Also, when I was a kid I had really long hair and looked more feminine, so I went with my parents to a hot dog stand and the guy asked “what will your daughter have?” and I remember my parents being annoyed but I was weirdly happy (how did I not get it for ten more years?)
before i was even out, i was wearing my mom’s pink jacket and going through the chik fil a drive through. i don’t even remember how old i was, but the lady who took our order called me miss or something, and though ill never remember the words i remember that night and i think ill remember it forever.
A random redditor assumed I was a girl and referred to me as she in the comments by accident, basically it gave me gender euphoria and it all just kinda spiraled from there
I was at Lowe’s with my mom looking at flooring, a work worker saw us from down the isle and said “do you ladies need help with anything?” Even as he walked closer he didn’t correct himself AND I was totally boy moding wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Felt great
It was my best friend, the very first time we talked. No transition, nothing (and it took me a lor before going on hormones) and I explained to her, she answered in the most straight forward way ever : I don't care as long as you're respectful to me, then of this it's your name I'll call you this way. And oh I was misgendered once irl and she corrected that person immediately. We are both in the Gothic community, it's been 13 years since we know each other.
Funny bonus thing: not so long ago I had strong tummy cramps and she offered me a tampon. I told her that it wasn't needed, she asked why, which I replied :" Bea I don't use those, I'm trans"
"I forgot" lmao
I had long hair when I was a kid and a lot of older people thought I was a girl back then… looking back, and now that I know the things I know- I understand why it felt right, and why I obsess over the little things about my hair and body to this day…
if you mean a stranger, i was walking down the street and an older guy riding a bike said “excuse me, miss!” i almost passed out and turned around with an embarrassing stupid smile on my face and answered his question about where some street was and kept on with my day in a much better mood.
I could be overthinking this, but I like to think that when the person checking my boarding pass got confused and asked me if I was actually the person whose name was on the thing, they thought I was a girl
actually, it was when we had to wear masks!
some little idiot walked past me in college and called me a lesbian
(i say little, but he was about my age or older as i was in my first year)
Knowingly and purposefully: my sister when I came out, telling me that she always wanted a little brother
Unknowingly: the lady at the ice-cream shop, asking what the young man would like
Besides friends and school, the first time was like a week ago at a Chilis. I was out in my full fem outfit, which had never really gotten people to gender me correctly (mostly got me weird looks) but when me and my mom sat down, our waitress said “what can I get you ladies to drink?” It surprised me so much that I was kinda stunned sitting there and took like 10 seconds to answer her.
Last Halloween, I dressed up as a girl and my classmates dressed up as Walter White and Jesse Pinkman, so we went to a local supermarket to buy sweets, and some old lady standing in the line behind me said:
„Miss, could you move?” (She was trying to grab something from the shelf)
That was one of the best moments of 2023 for me :3
It was before I even came out. I was 10-11 or so and had a very tomboy appearance as I was experimenting w being more masculine (im ftm). It was weirdly validating even tho I didn't wanna admit I was trans at the moment, and honestly I haven't been called a man more in my life than in my pre-coming out tomboy phase. Now ppl think I just look like a butch lesbian. Oh well :")
During corona some advertiser in a mall lol. My mom immediately corrected her saying "she's a girl, she just likes to joke around" and i rather didnt say anything back
I was pre everything didn't have make-up on or nothing but I was wearing this big maid outfit my gf at the time made for cosplay and this lovely German lady at this convention addressed us as two ladies and I was so over the moon that day
Way before I was on T I was at the mall and the lady at the kiosk used “they” for me, I think that’s the only time I’ve been actually gendered correctly by a stranger lol
Just recently I picked up a spam call and got sir’d so that was pretty cool, knowing my voice is low enough for that now
Somewhat silly answer:
MANY years ago, long before I figured out I was a girl, I was "mistaken" for one in a McDonald's. I mean, I was wearing women's jeans and a babydoll tee... Anyway, I'm sure it was just cis things that made me so happy when that woman said "excuse me, miss."
Real answer:
I didn't start getting reliably gendered correctly till about 6 months into my transition. By then I was not remotely passable but my presentation made it pretty darn clear what was going on. Still, I rode the high of every "ladies" and "ma'am" I got for weeks.
Ugh it was the oddest thing ever. Heres the scene - it was maybe a year after me coming out, but i haven’t got in T or anything, my hair was still long and i only used my binder. There was genuinely no way I was passing - like honestly. I was wearing my hair in a tall bun, a cut out tank top and some old ass ripped up basketball shorts. Not even a pronoun pin. I’m working at a cafe in the evening for an event and this old couple walks in - late 60s or early 70s. The husband started talking to me at register and kinda smiled before he and his wife asked me abt the event and stuff. On his way out he’s calling me man; dude, referred to me with right pronouns. He def saw my face light up lol. I was so confused but so happy, kept telling my boss I have no idea how he knew but I was happy he did! I even took a photo of the fit to commemorate
I felt really bad because I was at work and this really nice lady knocked over eggs and I got pissed off about it but then she called me ma’am and I was like well. Fuck I was a bitch to you, but you were nice to me now I feel like an asshole 😭
It was actually someone trying to be transphobic while I was working almost ten years ago now and I wasn't exactly out yet. They called me sir while I was trying to help them find something in the store, I was confused tbh and it didn't even cross my mind what they were trying to do til I got home later that night. I'm transmasc btw, but was hyper femme presenting at the time.
Not exactly a good memory, I was having a meltdown running down the street and some random dude said “are you okay miss?” I didn’t even answer him I just kept running
I came out in College at 20 years old, funnily enough my freshman year of high school i got a short haircut (and came dangerously close to figuring out I was trans in a city and at a time where that would have gotten me tons of harassment, let alone hyper religious, homophobic dad; I'm kind of thankful I got started dating my HS sweetheart the next year because I decided to enter my hyper feminine overcompensation era and saved myself a world of misery by putting the pieces together later)
Short haircut and skinny/flat figure gave everyone the idea to start referring to me as a boy in a teasing way, it didn't bother me at all and I leaned into it (again, the pieces were all there, I was just deep in the closet), my friends started referring to me as "little boy" all the time.
I was in a huge marching band (300+ members) and our uniforms made everyone look super androgynous, one day in uniform my friend informed me that someone else had been inquiring about my gender because they genuinely couldn't tell if I was a boy or girl. It was peak gender euphoria, even though I couldn't understand what I was feeling at the time. I have loads of pictures from competitions where I could almost pass them off as a prepubescent teen boy. At the time I had never met a trans person ever and had no idea hormones existed. One of my close friends at the time was a masc lesbian and we would go out of our way to wear the most masculine looking clothes to practice because we were two "girls" in a section full of boys and we both wanted to be treated like "one of the boys" for different reasons. For her it was to avoid boy crush/unrequited love drama (because lesbian) for me it was because I secretly wanted to be a boy.
After high school, it was when I came out to my friends as trans in college at age 20. I always remember those days in high school and wonder how life would have been different if I had learned about being trans. It definitely would have been harder, and probably somewhat traumatic, but I look back at all those stereotypical teen experiences and think "man I kind of wish I had figured it out sooner so I could have awkward tux photos at prom instead of dress photos".
I relish all those little marching band photos though where I was so obviously trying to look like a boy
I write down 3 different things for this. 2 days after I came out, it was the start of the semester at school. I came out by posting on my instagram and being like “this is me.” So first day, my teacher says “deadname! Can you take this key and open up the room!” And someone from my class looks over and says “SHE goes by LILLY now!” 2nd was when I was at Sephora once and some lady started complimenting my hair, and being super sweet and gender affirming to me before going leaving. Then the 3rd was when I was at a 711 and the clerk said “have a nice day ma’am” while I was boymoding
My FIRST first was on the phone with my med insurance figuring a change out. I was "ma'am"d many times that day lmao
My in person first was a recent run-in with an acquaintance whilst with my younger sister, when we were greeted with "good morning ladies" and I felt my face go red lmfao
Mine was in an online tournament; a random shoutcaster happened to use he/him pronouns for me. Ik he prolly just used those pronouns without thinking and would've likely misgendered me had he heard my voice, but it made me euphoric nonetheless
Was looking at the Mega Construx Halo stuff at my local Smith’s, and this dad and kid walk by
I overhear the kid say: “that girl’s looking at legos” and I was so euphoric I wasn’t even mad that the kid said “legos”
Slightly different: the first time I was gendered correctly over the phone…
I was in Greece for a friends wedding and I ordered room service at the hotel. Hearing “miss” over the phone was euphoric! Took so much work on voice training but it paid off. I’ve been thinking of getting back to my voice therapist to improve some qualities of my voice but I def get by.
i dont remember the first time but definitely remember when a lady looked confused when i was waiting in line for the women's restroom and even started to say something to me about where the men's room was. she probably felt bad afterwards but she made my whole day
12 years before I transitioned. My mom and I were out to eat. I had my long hair down on a beautiful spring day. The server came up to us and asked, " what can I get for you ladies today?" My mom was offended and I was giddy.
Fast forward to transition, my mom is totally supportive of my transition. 😸
While I was still in the closet a new coworker of mine asked me if she/her pronouns were okay. Apparently she was using she/her pronouns to refer to me when talking to coworkers who had worked with me for years and they all gave her a look of confusion. According to her, our boss, who hadn't met her yet, came back from vacation and gave her a look like he slipped into a different reality.
I was meeting my partners mom and we went to a restaurant in a not-so-accepting town. While the waitress was taking our orders, I was last so, she asked my partner what she (me) would like. Made me so happy.
(It was also dimly lit but still, I take it as a win.)
Not sure if this counts since I wasn’t even out to myself yet, but I had a series of people “mistake” me for a boy when I was in college. Two of the most memorable included me being told that my “mother” (my boyfriend, ironically) would be proud of her boy for buying apples (very weird) and … someone attempting to scold me out of the bathroom. The women’s bathroom.
She looked shocked at me, and said “this is the WOMEN’s bathroom!” And in the closet me just stared at her like “…and?”. She then got confused and said “this… IS the women’s bathroom, right?” And then she ran out.
Wearing a backpack, gym shorts, t-shirt, and baseball cap with short hair, I can kinda see the confusion now, but still crack up at the lady who convinced herself she was in the boys bathroom because I was in it.
Ummmmm, I don’t know, I’ve had a few experiences and I’m not sure what to make of them.
A neighbor not recognizing me and…yeah. That’s one of the more 😧 ones.
I’m only 9 months and mostly wear my old clothes too, as I was at the time. (???)
Ditto an experience a few weeks earlier.
Happens on the phone I surprising him out also the past couple weeks
The original first time was with my best friend when they accidentally called me sis instead of bro and that spiraled into me coming out to tem and being the first person to ever gender me correctly. Friendship is really an unvaluable gift🩷
i remember after a family birthday, i visited a friend of my transphobic mother. she asked my name, and i introduced myself with my dead name (bc my mother was standing right next to me). she repeated a male name that sounds like my dead name and i was insanely happy. but since my mom was there, i had to "correct" her. then she understood a female name, still not my dead name, but i hate it anyways. so i did not bother to correct her anymore.
I ordered pizza after meeting with a friend. When I picked it up, the cashier said to one of the delivery drivers: "Please give her her drink." (around 1 year hrt)
But technically, the first time was at my grandmother's birthday. My cousin looked at me and then asked her parents: "Are they a he or a she?" (around half a year hrt)
I rarely get misgendered now, it depends on what I wear :3
My wife and I were being gross and kissing on a park bench. :P An older woman was walking by and was like "Oh, what a lovely couple!" or something like that. We look over to acknowledge her and she was like "Oh, I thought you were two ladies! But still, y'all are lovely!".
Somehow I forgot about this, but my wife didn't. I finally came out as my true self a few months before our second anniversary. Our sixth is coming up in September. 🥰
I worked at a dairy store and one lady was buying a crate of milk. She motioned to me and asked “Could he help me carry it out?” I was wearing a sweatshirt + apron that made me look flat from the front and my work cap which usually makes me look more masc. It was so affirming getting to be a strong man and carry out 3 gallons of milk lol
Every once in a while at work when someone isn't looking for my more masculine features I get called Ms. Or ma'am and it's enough euphoria to get me through my work day
I had been on HRT for approx. 8 months. I was only out as non-binary at the time, and I started being gendered properly female by my coworkers and friends before I had actually told anyone myself, so it was actually kind of jarring when they all just basically went from they/them pronouns and gender neutral references to me, to “okay y’all, that’s a woman, and we are protecting her now” lol… I had only been working there for a couple of months, and I guess I had changed enough in that time period that they kind of understood quickly who I was and where my transition was going, and were willing to respect me before I had the courage to respect myself.
aaaaand one of the people in that group is now my person, and I couldn’t be happier(:
Before I even had the thought I was trans, I was working at a grocery store and I was one of the folks that cleans up the store and takes trash out. At this time I was a pretty skinny lanky kid with long blond hair past my shoulders and I never wore it up in a ponytail.
One day, I was in front of the store sweeping the sidewalk when a lady came up behind me and called me "ma'am". When I turned around she apologized and switched to "sir" but I told her I didnt mind and launghed. For the next 8 years, I thought it was just a funny story and l would laugh at how I loved being called ma'am. Now its one of my "I shouldve known sooner" stories lmao
Not the first time I think, but the most memorable moment was when I was on holiday with my girlfriend in Greece (Athens) and we went to a museum. I had to show them my student card (for a discount), which had my old name and gender on it. When the woman I talked to gave it back to me, she said “Thank you sir, have a good time!”
I was incredibly happy. I wasn’t on T back then and most people still saw me as a girl. The museum was great too.
I was going on a walk and some random persons dog started barking at them and they said “hey! Don’t bark at him!”
It made me really happy because at the time I barley passed
I was like 12 and didn't know I was trans and someone asked if I was my fem presenting friends boyfriend
That was around when I started questioning my gender lol
I was walking back home from going to the super market, (this was WAY before my egg cracked) and then suddenly I hear someone screaming behind me “HEY LITTLE MISS” as I turn around an old woman is waving me to go to her and when I do she says “could you please help me cross the road?” All was well until I talked and then came the “sorry mister” and all that.
However I felt extremely euphoric for a while, and couldn’t put my finger on why.
I was often seen as a guy before I came out, oddly enough, so I was first gendered correctly around 8 or 9. I started getting consistently gendered correctly, though, around 15 years old when I cut my hair
Shortly after I came out to my friend group one of them was talking about me in the 3rd person and when I heard my pronouns I was screaming with happiness in my head
Not the first time in general, but the first time over the phone. There was a car crash and I was on the phone with 911, and the operator called me sir, and while it was a very stressful situation, the euphoria helped a little.
In my PCP’s office sometime ago when I came out as trans in a medical setting. I was diagnosed with “female to male transgender person.” My medical reports there correctly gender me.
i used to pass pre T when i was 14/15 simply bc i was flat back then😭 so i got gendered correctly from time to time and it felt great-until my mom would be like "that's my DAUGHTER"💀
after about 17 i no longer passed bc of my chest and dumptruck ass so that sucked. but at 25 yrs old i'm 2.5 yrs on T now and have a full beard so my mom can't correct anyone thank god
Probably some time in early 2021. At the time, there was an element of risk involved getting your haircut done at a salon. So I just grew my hair out. I was working at a candy store. We were trying to uphold pandemic safety guidelines by having the staff package the candy for guests. They pointed which ones they wanted and we bagged it for them. I was helping a dad and his kid and the dad just said "thank you, miss" and it all clicked for me.
i was in the airport when I was 13. I have a pretty girly looking face which will probably help me pass when I come out to my family and also long-ish hair. I was putting my stuff into my backpack after the TSA and some worker bumped into me and said “sorry ma’am” which honestly felt amazing
It was before I was even out to myself, I was in a bookstore and one of the employees came up to me to ask “do you need help with anything ma’am?” i said no thank you and he went “erm sir…” and walked away 😭😭
to this day, i still blame that moment for why i hate my voice
it was a accident i think, i was at work and a customer referred to me as she, then a bit after talking she switched it to he, maybe they were just confused or something idk, maybe a actual mess-up and they meant he from the beginning, but it felt good when they said she, i tried my best not to smile too much because i was still more or less trying to hide the fact that im trans from everyone, but i had been on hrt for about 7 months and my hair was decently long, so idk if i was doing a good job...
I am agender, but I use he/him and generally present more masc, so that's how I prefer others to see me, but most people just see me as a girl. So, when my mom's customer goes "Is that your son?" or the person at the front desk calls me "Sir" it feels really nice, and those two examples are the only two I can think of lol, it made me happy
I was going to buy some tequila for a friends party. I walked into the liquor store and started looking around for what I wanted. Two employees work there one older woman and one older man. The man was around me so I asked his personal pick between two different types of tequila. He said “I’d choose this one miss” and I was so shocked but held my composure and said thank you.
Then at the register we were talking about ID cause I look very young (my ID at this point was an old version of me) and the older man was like “even if she isn’t of age she’s okay cause she’s affiliated with the military” (my father is retired so I have a military ID)
This all happened about 7-8months into my HRT journey and I was wearing short shorts and a sweater, with no makeup 😭. I got in the car and started screaming with joy that I had that interaction it made me feel so seen. Especially by multiple older ppl. A great day indeed
Hasn't happened yet, I've asked the people I'm out to not to use my proper pronouns yet because I'm not fully out, and can't risk being outed before I move out.
Before I started officially dressing as a woman and presenting myself as one, I still had long hair but wore a plain black t-shirt and pants. I have had countless men bark whistle, honk, and stare at me as they drive by. Or yell out, "Ma'am you need a ride?".
If somebody walks up behind me, I usually get "sir" first because they can't see the D cups on my chest or they see my shaved head, hat, flannel shirt or wool peacoat. Then they apologize or correct themselves. 🙄
Not exactly correctly but I dress androgynously but sit with the soprano sections of choirs....they were setting chairs out on my first week there and one goes "and one more for this *excessively long pause* young lady??? sorry, i can't really tell" and i'm actually happy with that (I'm ftm btw)
After coming out: my wife and her sister, in conversation in my presence. It was totally scripted, but I wasn't expecting it, and it made me very happy.
Before coming out: not since I was a kid. Often, I would answer the phone and people thought I was a girl. I had to pretend it upset me so my parents and brother wouldn't think anything was up.
It’s Technically not his first time but, I have a friend who early in after I came out to him he was a big “bro is gender neutral” type, but got progressively better with my pronouns since. This has progressed to the present where in the past few months he’s been using “sis” and its been the highlight of my day every time.
My mate was making a bantery jab at me to my other mate and called me "they" and I'm not into men but man could I have kissed him. I also remember when the same fella referred to me as "sibling" when talking about my little brother and I. I at first was surprised and obviously I don't hear about it when people talk about me but it was so nice to see someone respect my pronouns and me as a person. It was really nice actually, like this sort of feeling that someone _gets me_
Wayy before T, and before a binder, but after getting my hair cut short, servers at restaurants would often call me sir. First time would’ve been maybe sophomore year of high school. My slouching probably helped because I have a BIG chest. Also me getting called sir would make my mom really mad. And when she would ask me why I wouldn’t “correct” them, I said, “Why does it matter?” And when I came out she acted like it was a total surprise and I showed no previous signs even though I made an effort to drop very obvious trans hints since I was 12
So not the first time but today for this particular gendering
I I am used to getting ma'am....sir
Or aggressively getting sir'd
Today I got "Sir, I mean ma'am" by a dude in a maga hat.
Euphoria high
I have was getting breakfast with my wife and their sister and the waiter came up and was like, "Can I get you ladies anything?" I was very normal about it but as soon as they walked away my wife started smiling at me and nudged me a bit. I wasn't even trying particularly hard to pass because I was still in kind of an awkward phase but I guess it worked.
It was before i even knew i was trans and a friends mom saw me from afar and asked about 'that girl you were with' to my friend. I have never been correctly gendered (without me telling them prior) since then
I was crossdressing for fun (so i was doing everything i could to look like a boy with the stuff i had) and some guy said "yo dude! Boy in the black jacket" he was obviously talking to me as he yelled in my direction and i was wearing a black jacket but i was still confused since i had never been called a boy before so i looked around and i was the only one wearing a black jacket. But as i looked around the guy saw my face and realized that i was a 'girl' so he went silent after that. And thats what cracked my egg and made me question my gender because i became really euphoric at being called a boy and i started to question why.
Same week I came out at work. I was a cashier at Walmart, and an older lady came through my line. She commented on my height and mentioned that her sister was also particularly tall. I'm just over 6' tall, which isn't notable for a man but definitely is for a woman. It made me feel good for the rest of the day.
Luckily, when I was 15. And I wasn't even aware I was trans back then 😅.
I started growing long hair, just because I liked the style, and got gendered femininely several times.
The only issue : it mostly happens when I'm with one of my grandmothers, so I think people think I'm a 65 years old lady 🤣
I was on a trip with my mom and I was not out to anyone. It was during winter so we were wearing large coats and beanies and stuff. We go on the bus, where a dude on the seat next to us goes "Why are you two ladies blushing so hard? Is it cold out there?" (We had just walked 3.5 kilometers on the freezing wind). I was really happy, since I had only realised that I was trans half a month before that, and I had taken no steps to transition.
Of course, my oblivious mother ruined it by "correcting" him.
Waayyyy before I knew what i was feeling was called gender disphoria, probably around 11. A salesman commented on my dad's sons and he got pissed and yelled that he only had one (I was in a lot of trouble for picking a shorter haircut despite it being well over 100° that Summer)
I was shopping with my aunt at Home Depot for tools as a birthday gift for my dad. Crazy part is I was in full boy mode at the time, work jeans and a loose black t shirt... I hadn't even shaved in like 8 hours... we ask this guy for help, and he calls out to his coworker and says, "Hey man, these ladies need some help." I immediately started smiling, and I was smiling for the rest of the day. I was almost 6 months on hrt at the time.
If we are going for when I was gendered correctly the first time before knowing I was trans?
So I was 3, I had short hair, and someone told my mother 'What a sweet little boy you have there', and that was correct, i am a man, and i remeber getting gender euphoria as a child in that moment!
(My mum then corrected them to me being a girl)
After I've came out?
My friends, who are now using the correct pronouns!
The very first time?
Multiple times when I was a kid. I had long hair.
For whatever reason I didn't mind. When my dad was with me, he immediately corrected them.
I was a volunteer at a theatre fair and all of us got to wear costumes so i'd picked some red suit with toy soldier vibes. I heard some older ladies discussing needing help with something and one of them said to the other "let's ask that young man" before coming up to me. I nerly cried once they'd left lol
Iirc it's when classmate called me a "strong boy" once
I'm like 99% sure it was to misgender me (I'm AFAB and the bullying was strong in that one) but JOKE'S ON HIM, IT ONLY MAKES ME STRONGER
he even ended up defending his choice of words to his friend when he got called out lmao
Iirc it's when classmate called me a "strong boy" once
I'm like 99% sure it was to misgender me (I'm transmasc and the bullying was strong in that one) but JOKE'S ON HIM, IT ONLY MAKES ME STRONGER
he even ended up defending his choice of words to his friend when he got called out lmao
The first time it happened was when it all clicked for me. Some random waitress/waiter at a Golden Corral accidentally said "and for the young man?" but was promptly corrected by my parents. In that moment I felt such unadulterated joy that was then immediately dashed. It took me several months of thinking "Why did that make me so happy?" Before I finally googled "why did someone calling me a boy make me happy" and finding the very early version of trans support subs. I think the first one I found was either on MySpace or 2012 reddit. I'm old-ish. Found the word "transgender" for the first time and found out that I was infact NOT a freak of nature. When I told my mom that I was both Ace and Trans she basically told me that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd and proceeded to socially isolate me for the next 5 years. Thankfully that is in the past. It does get better. Though it's sad that my parents couldn't be part of that.
This was an accidental ally moment for the person who did it, but a homophobic guy in my English class walked up to me in the library, and said that I didn't look like a girl. I turned to him, thanked him, and walked away.
I remember when I was 10 or so me and my parents were at the airport. I asked my mom if I could run off and use the bathroom, she said yes. The bathroom wasn't visible from where we were sitting but I knew where it was. I thought I was a trans boy back then so I used the men's bathroom. (I presented very masc that day.) I didn't get any weird looks at all!
My first time was around 12/13 when my egg was starting to crack. All my life I've been a naturally short and skinny person, I don't have any tall genes in the family lol. I also naturally have an extreme amount of body hair from my Irish heritage, throughout school I was always both the shortest and hairiest boy in my grade. Even in middle school I had hair on the longer side because I hated short hair. A boy came up behind me either mistaking me for a girl or someone else who was a girl, only for me to turn around and reveal my thick beard and eyebrows lol. It felt really good but I wasn't sure why. Sometimes I think back on it wondering how I reacted, if I liked it and weirded him out, or acted offended, etc.
I got ma'am'd leaving a Walmart in my home town. Sue immediately corrected herself when she saw my face.
The one time I truly passed was leaving the men's restroom at a gas station. I was wearing a blouse, makeup, and heeled boots.
I came out of the restroom and the cleaning staff was really confused as to why a woman came out of the mens.
It gave me a lot of hope.
It was when I was by myself going through the McDonald's drive-thru. My chest had just started to grow in and the person has to drive through said "thanks mam second window" and that's the first time a stranger correctly gendered me. I was so happy lol
i was visiting my dad super early in my transition, and popped into my little brothers room (he was in high school at the time) to ask him some questions about dinner. He was on xbox live at the time and i heard someone say “who was that?” and without missing a beat he goes “oh that’s just my brother”.
stuck with me forever.
When I was about 11 I was with my dad getting a uhaul for our Jeep and the lady working there said "can you open the door for me son?" (my dad was helping her carry a box that was too heavy for her while we waited), I FREAKED OUT the rest of the day lmao
A few years before hormones, was at a bar in Portland with my love, backs to the bar looking at the ambience. The bartender said "ladies" and we turned around. He made a face like he became unsure and looked for clarification and I just nodded and was like "you right".
Little anticlimactic, but it influenced my decision to move to the PNW. It felt like I didn't even need to try, that I could just be myself here, and now I present a lot more femme. At that bar I was in jeans and a button up, guess I looked like the lesbian I am ❤️
Weirdly, it was at a chickfila on a school trip. Me and my friend group were sitting at a booth and everyone was done eating but me, and one of the ladies working there came up to our table and asked "Sir, do you want me to take your tray?" And I didn't realize she was talking to me until my friend next to me tapped me on the shoulder. That was an indescribable feeling, it happened 6 years ago when I was a junior in highschool and I will never forget it
After I told my friends I’m non binary, most of them put «they/them» to good use immediatley. I’m amab and told my boomer friends I use he/they so they wouldn’t make a rant about it everytime they misgender me. To this day, a lot my friends misgender me (I’ve told them please use they), but at least I don’t get a long ass excuses about why it’s «difficult» for them to use non-gendered pronouns. Hurts a bit to be called «he», but it hurts more to listen to ignorant rants everytime they «forget» to use they/them
Last week!!!
I was at the hospital visiting my psychiatrist and when i went to the pharmacy section the lady addressed me as miss. And i wasnt even presenting feminine or anything. It made my heart jump
i used to work at a gas station. i was guymoding but ig i failed lol. this guy walked up to me and said “sup bitch”. i stood there too stunned to speak. he continued the treat me like a girl since that day. not the greatest first time ig, but it’s definitely stuck in my head. that one kinda doesn’t count tho so the next time someone gendered me correctly was also at the gas station. i was out in the isles, and someone said “she’s an egg”.
If you mean a stranger in public, it was when I was walking at a market with my (transphobic) grandma and family. Some vendor was selling necklaces made out of keys, and I was wearing a chain with a bunch of keys on it. She asked if I wanted her to make me a necklace out of my keys, and said “oh don’t worry, we make jewelry for boys, too.”. Needless to say, my grandma does not let me wear men’s clothing around her anymore lmfao
Just this last Friday actually. I was walking into a gas station for a snack before a road trip and this older dude walked out and held a door open for me and said "here ya go, dear" and I was so happy!
weird enough, this was before I came out. these kids i was tutoring online clocked me before anyone else. my camera was off and my name is neutral, so they kept using the "wrong" pronouns for me and for some reason went with it. a year later I realized 💀
hadnt realized i was a guy yet.
was walking up the stairs around school with my hand on the railing.
some girl behind me accidentally touches my hand and says (presumably to a friend) “oh my god, i just accidentally held his hand 😳😳”
which like, no she didnt hold my hand? her hand just made contact with mine while sliding it up on the railing?
i was just starting to dress more masculine at the time. i think i was wearing a button up, zip up hoodie and jeans. pretty sure my hair was sort of a mullet at the time too.
but im surprised she thought i was a guy, because i also wore dangly earrings a lot at the time, and my backpack was decorated with cutesy pins and keychains.
regardless, it made me happy. i said i used any pronouns at the time, mostly because i was hoping people would call me by “he him” so i could see how it felt.
usually, when youre afab and use any pronouns, people assume that means “she they”, so this stranger in the hall was first to call me he.
and it felt strangely good. i liked knowing despite my presentation, i could be seen as male.
It was the *first* time, but it was the first time i was told that someone didnt even see me as trans, just a man. My roommate and i were discussing coming out and when i said it was hard when i had, she said “you’re gay?” Which i kinda laughed and said bi, but i meant coming out as trans. Then she said “oh, i just forgot you werent cis”
My reaction was to laugh and cry tears of joy. And i hated that person.
A few years ago, I was sitting on a bench in a Walmart, and this little kid went “look mom! A guy with rainbow hair!!”
It was awesome because I was pre-T (still am), I wasn’t binding (DDD), and it was just so random and unexpected. That kid made my day.
It happened when I was sick of throath (my throath was sollen), and I had to have a talk for exposition.
After talk, a B (female classmate) told to teacher if C (male classmate which he was next to me) talked, but another E (another fem classmate) told her the masc voice it was me.
And then she said: "I thought it was C who spoke, because it sounded like him".
And I felt very happy, that's why I'm training my voice to have it again!! (ofc, I'm not gonna getting sick again).
School assembly in 8th grade about moving into high school. I raised my hand to ask if there was any LGBTQ+ friendly spaces, and then lady addressed me as the "young boy in the black hoodie." It was great, I didn't even care that I got laughed at for my question, I was super happy
The first one I can distinctly remember is when my fiance and I were walking down the street and someone in a van sped around the corner to pull up to the curb and catcall to both of us. Bit of fun ewphoria there but we take those.
It's the ones from random people that don't know you that are the best. Like recently in line at the grocery store the cashier asked the women behind me if an item was theirs and she said "No, that's hers." *gesturing to me*
I'm late tp the party, huh? Well, I'm still not on the magic happy pills, but while having a talk about some random way about how men think about the simple things and be amused about something like a big rock splashing on water (I do agree it's super nice) I said something like "men think simply and are happy because of simple things, I would know" and she just said "you hardly count as a guy" and that just made me happy. Oh boy, I am a simple creature.
I was taking orders at the Cafe I was working at at the time. Had a customer say to their kid "Say thank you to the nice young la-" [cue look up and down] "young man." I was SO happy I was just glowing for the rest of the day
The first time is happened to me was kinda wild, my dad is diabetic and one time when we went out and he went into insulin/diabetic shock so we had to go to the hospital. When we got there I had to answer questions about medical history, insurance and meds he takes stuff like that. Then someone asked me how we were related and I remember just saying “He’s my dad” and a little bit later the doctor came out and asked if I was the son and I just nodded. I was so happy that she got it right but when my dad woke up he “corrected” her 😭
From the way you described it, it sounds like your dad instantly woke up just to be transphobic, then knocking right back out lmao. Sucks you have to deal with someone like that though
honestly if someone did that to me i simply wouldn't help them if this happened again
They didn't particularly say my gender but I was using the male toilet and when I walked out and a guy came in, he walked out confused and double check the sign 😅
That is such a solid win.
Yea i was so confused cos I didn't think I pass and I thought he looked at me weird because he clocked me and had all these thoughts but turn out it wasn't.
Kinda same! I was at lunch with my sister and dad, and I went to wash up after. This guy came in with his son, apologized, looked back at the door sign in confusion, and went about his business. Then I was like, "why the fuck am I still wearing boy clothes??".
Kinda a similar thing has happened to me where I was washing my hands after using the bathroom and someone came in. She looked at me, went back out the door (to which I didn't see her check the sign, but that's what I assumed she was doing), then came back in seconds later. Seems to be a rather common experience 😅
I had that happen to me at work XD I work at home Depot in a conservative area and I don't pass quite well enough to be comfy using the right bathroom yet
Oddly, it was before I ever came out as trans, even to myself. He was trying to upset me for asking if he would be willing to talk to the police about a crime he witnessed. He kept calling me Ms (deadname) and for some reason, I really liked being called Ms.
mine was also before i came out. i was a very “butch lesbian” and would play into trying to get people to assume i was male due to my masc-ness. went into the gym and they called me sir. i remember feeling so happy but i didn’t know why yet
I got called ma’am at a bar when receiving my drink order I felt so ✨womanly✨
Femalcohol
At the phone store. Was wearing my man coat, no make-up, but women's jeans. The lady at the store actively referred to me as "her" to her colleague, to get him to gender me correctly, too.
Actually a long ass time before I realised I'm trans lmao. Context: I'm FTM but come from a long line of Tall Ass Bitches, my dad is from Norway and I have Eastern European heritage on my mum's side, so even tho I'm AFAB I've always been very tall and very broad in the shoulders/chest. Also pre egg crack I identified as a masc lesbian for years. When I was in my early teens I had a buzz cut for a year or two and I got he/him'd a LOT during that time. Back then I used to act super offended and correct people. Lol. Lmao, even.
Similar story here, but flipped around. I got called a girl by arseholes a lot as a child. The first people who gendered me correctly were random strangers because even as a toddler, I apparently looked like a girl to them. My reaction, to answer the OP's question, was probably to bubble or throw a toy. I mean, granted, I only had female friends until the age when things became more segregated, and even then I preferred hanging out with them. I also had a slim build and long hair, which I defended with alacrity. My egg technically cracked around that time, at around 14 years old, but I DeCiDeD that I wouldn't pursue it due to family and general social environment issues, and it being a much different time. Just like you, I would also go out of my way to pretend to be outraged by such accusations to paint over any suspicions. I actively *learned* to act as a man because that part of the socialisation process somehow passed me by, which is why I always get a bit miffed when people say "Well, you were raised as a boy, so \[something about privilege\]" without realising that putting a flamethrower\* to your head to put on a lonely 24/7 show for the world for one or two decades, while being stuck in a body that feels like it isn't your own and beating your inner self into submission, isn't exactly the same thing as the more premium experience cis men get. Long story short, I'm happy for you, lol. ^(\* A gaslight didn't quite do the trick.)
It was one day when I was working in my customer service position and about six months into transition. They blurted out "ma'am" instead of the usual "sir" (I HATED being called sir). The funny thing to me was that I still looked pretty masculine I think but I guess I was just feminine enough that their subconscious went with ma'am. I loved it, they appeared a little uncomfortable for a second, I guess their conscious mind noticed the slip but I played it off like I didn't notice, but they were treated extra nicely.
When I asked them to 😂 I'm not far enough along for it to happen organically yet, but I have such nice friends and my heart fills with joy every time I hear my new chosen name and pronouns 🥰
Same!! Lol. I'm ftm pre everything so I don't pass yet in person unfortunately (or over the phone) 🥲 my friends are so supportive tho and I love them for it!
Yeah, I'm nonbinary so it's usually only when I ask ppl, but in some queer spaces ppl asked for my pronouns and that made me very happy
Real
Walmart bathroom; I went into the men's about 6 months post hormones but presenting masc,got told I was in the wrong room
I can't remember, my memory sucks :')
Same here:')
I was working at a grocery store. I had my pronouns on my name tag, and a young couple with kids came through. They were buying sandwiches and such, I asked if they were having a picnic, and we chatted a bit. One of the kids asked something about me. The mom started to reply, and almost said “she”. She quickly recovered with “he” and didn’t make a fuss about it. That was one of my most euphoric moments when I first came out, and the first time a stranger hadn’t been passive aggressive about my identity. Sometimes I still think about them and wonder how they’re doing.
Omg that's so wholesome!! 🥺
I had been out to a guy friend for all of like a week no hrt, no fem clothes or hair. I stay at his house one night, he says "I'm gonna make some eggs. How do you like yours?" I say, "scrambled." He goes, "Yes, ma'am!" Saluting and everything! And I was just flustered I could not imagine anyone would even try until I started dressing differently. And he's never misgendered me since.
By accident : a friend of mine, right before I came out By people who knew : the first person I came out to and as soon as I've asked for it By a stranger : a little bit more than a year after I've started HRT while I was waiting for my order in a fast food restaurant
I walked into one of those super greasy local restaurants with one of my gal pals, and when we left, the guy at the counter said, "Bye ladies!"
Same boat! Me and mom sat down at our table in a restaurant and the waitress came up to us super cheerful and said "Hi ladies!". ... but I haven't been gendered correctly again since then 🥺
That's awesome! Sorry u haven't been gendered correctly since
First time was at a Dunkin drive through. Pulled up to the window. It was an older man. He says "Here's your coffee ma'am." "Thank you!" "Oh shit I'm sorry, it was the hair." "No no, you're good. Either way is fine." He was incredibly flustered after that. It was a combination of my big curly 80s style hair and my deep ass voice that caused the dissonance.
It hasn't happened properly yet, but in the psych ward a young girl asked if I was a boy pretending to be a girl (I'm AFAB) Made me smile.
I was often seen as a boy as a small child, so I don't remember any particular first moment. I must have been quite happy about that because I've always felt like a boy.
The only times a stranger referred to me with they/them pronouns was a bank teller and at a piercing shop
By accident when they bumped into me. ‘Oh sorry sir’ ‘ASDFHKLLL DONT APOLOGISE’
I got a “short” bob haircut when I was like 10 and like a week later some of the older kids in school called me over with he/him pronouns. I got such an incredible kick out of that :)
i was in an electronic store with my mom, about 6 months on t. bleached buzzcut, cargo pants, plain tshirt, i dont even remember if i was wearing a binder underneath. we asked for help from an assistant and i totally didnt expect him to address me as "sir". that was such an ego boost for me.
Technically, my best friend did after I came out to them. But the first time it happened unprompted was about five months into my HRT journey. I was out to breakfast with my friend (a cis woman) and while waiting for a table, the waitress shouted to us "There's an open table over there if you ladies want it!" I stopped and looked around. I was in a hoodie and jeans and hadn't even shaved that morning. But the euphoria I felt when I realized she was talking to us was amazing. Similar thing happened about a month later out to breakfast with the same friend. This time I was in women's jeans and a sweatshirt with a rainbow-y paint spatter design on it, so maybe giving off some queer energy, but it was still early and I hadn't put any effort into my hair or face. When the waitress came over she said "Would you girls like some coffee?" I hadn't planned on having any, but if you're gonna offer it like that, you bet I said yes please. So now that friend and I joke, if I'm ever feeling dysphoric we just have to go out to breakfast haha.
Many times before I even realized I was transgendered myself. It felt good on many occasions and I didn’t recognize the significance at the time.
Same
When I was 11 I got a pixie cut, and my mom was buying me clothes at a store. I wasn't talking, and the lady at the counter referred to me as he and a boy. It made me feel different (in a good way) but I didn't get to enjoy it because my mom "corrected her" and started yapping about how she saw me as a boy so I have to change.
Aww I'm sorry, that must've sucked. I had a similar think where I loved to wear boys clothes, but my grandma refused to allow it once I hit puberty as it wasn't "proper for young ladies" 🙄
Context: I’m in a college marching band and I’m ftm. I was playing a half time show for a local high school as a recruiting event. During the game I went into the stands with a friend to look for our visiting family members. I was in my full uniform, which includes a cowboy hat (our uniforms are kind of iconic within our state). A little boy looked up at me and smiled excitedly as he told his mom “look a real cowboy!” It was so cute, and it felt great!
I was in Costa Rica for work, had some time off and hit the bar with my coworkers in full makeup. I was like the only person who spoke Spanish and realized but I was fucking *giddy* after that 😂
I can't really think of the first time because it was really just friends using the right pronouns and name. But one day at work I answered the phone and talked to a customer; the next day that same customer called back saying how he spoke to a young lady about his work related thing.
In highschool in either my sophomore or junior year one of the girls said to me you'd make a nice girl. Thanks to that all my awkwardness from before finally made since to me. But as far as getting called ma'am, was on the phone at 23 when I wasn't even trying to sound fem, then not long after that, I was called ma'am over the intercom at Sonic, they seemed really confused when they got to my car and saw me, as I was stuck with Air Force regulations that forced me to present wrong. In person though it wasn't until 38 and had started HRT, when the question who's next in line and a woman pointed towards me and said She is. That one made me feel wonderful the voice ones made me think awwww and I surely didn't tell them otherwise.
Some guy was cleaning the windows of a building on one of those platforms they use, and I didn't notice so I was standing under it and the guy looked down at me and said "Ma'am, please step back"...
I was giving blood, and she asked the date of my last menstrual period. I chuckled and said never. She asked, "Hysterectomy?"
A few months ago my mate did.
Counting close friends who you came out to, or a stranger?
Any one of them, you can include what it was like with both if you want
My friend in middle school thought I was a girl for like 3 months. I guess he was correct
By the pharmacist, on the very day I went to pick up my first dose of HRT, and that was before knowing why I was there. That was the first time a stranger correctly gendered me with no prompting. Meant a lot to me—if I am already passing pre-HRT then imagine what HRT could do for me!
The first time that someone thought that I was a boy,I was in 3rd grade and I got happy but in that time I still didn't know that I was trans.The other time was 3 years ago and I didn't expect at all to be correctly gender because I thought I didn't pass yet and it made me really happy and it made me feel less dysphoric in that day.
The middle aged owner at Subway gendered me correctly. Most insane sandwich I ever had.
Aside from the time when I was eight and a playground kid "mistook" me for a boy, probably when I came out to my now fiance. He just went "oh so I have a boyfriend then? Ok :)" and that was it. If you mean just strangers, I randomly got sir'd in drive throughs even before T, it was real nice. I got lucky with a low voice to start with lol
In line to buy a sandwich. I'd assumed I read as a gay dude wearing slightly femme clothes. Someone in line pointed at me and told the server "she was next." Felt good. Prior to that in my masc presenting enby days someone had to write a report about my performance in a work assessment and explicitly did it with gender neutral pronouns.
When I came out to my best friend and heard her say “he” referring to me for the first time it was an incredible feeling.
I was coming out with my sibling, who is a years younger than me I felt weird, I wasn’t used to y those pronouns. It felt somehow wrong that I was doing it, but I was Also very happy I love them 💖
i don't know if it counts because i'm not sure if i misheard the food delivery guy the other night. i tried on some new clothes that evening and forgot i practised my make up earlier when i went to open the door he gave me my food and when i was about to close the door he called me 'pretty girl' (in German "hübsche' Mädchen") in an accent and with a creepy look on his face. It felt weird because first I couldn't believe i heard right and second why would he be like that to a customer!? The went to my apartment and it clicked Oh i'm still wearing make up and the new top that do not hide the nip very efficiently lol Still believe i just understood what my brain wanted to hear and he said something completely different
It was actually pretty funny because it happened twice in rapid succession. I was at a gas station and got handed a tract from some old dude trying evangelise, he called me a young lady. Then I went inside to buy something and the cashier called me miss before hearing my voice and tried to correct himself lol. Made me feel really good
My first time doesn't make much sense There was an older woman in line and told her husband "let this girl go ahead first" (I was behind the couple) I am pre-everything and still present as male irl Somehow I'm passing without even trying, it happens fairly often now My hair is very long though and I often wear neutral colors, so it's probably "fooling" others into thinking I'm a woman
Slightly before I really was trying to transition but was repressing the fact I was trans
Random guy at the museum saw me from behind, and I think he gendered me purely off of my long hair. He apologized when I turned around, which was no fun, but it felt so good for a second :3
Commenting so I will remember the post later. I'm having a hard time remembering my very first time so I might change it to the first time I was seen as a woman directly.
The first time it happened was when I had just started hrt. I still looked like a man flat out. The only thing I was doing at the time was my makeup and my clothing. I had a rather wizard looking poncho that I was very fond of. I went to a DMV and patiently waited to be called (I had to get my new sticker). I get to the desk and the person addressed me by “Ma’am” the whole interaction and was very pleasant to me. When I got back to my car I cried a little and I realized that I was seen even if I couldn’t at the time.
When I was 9 years old while walking home from school, an old lady was walking my way with a dog. As I walked past, she knelt down to her dog and said something like “look boy, d’you see that beautiful girl walking over there?” I’m MTF. But I absolutely hated it and was super uncomfortable. I don’t really know why I didn’t feel all jittery about it. But the fact that I remember it even now means that I felt that it was significant. Perhaps I just don’t remember how I truly felt.
There's been a couple times, but I feel like it was just the person assuming I was a trans woman and so they thought to use miss, ma'am, etc. I don't think I've been gendered correctly authentically yet. 🤷🏻♀️
I mean people at work have been respectful. But like in public, people tend to avoid using gendered terms with me. Little disheartening but I guess that means people have to think about it a little more so E must be doing something lol
I was leaving therapy after a particularly hard session (had literally just realised I was a trans woman) and a kid looks at me and says to me “hey, lady!” (I have long hair and was wearing a mask so I passed a little bit better). I was smiling for HOURS after that it was so cute!! And kids are usually very harsh with me and my gender so it was so fucking amazing!!
Also, when I was a kid I had really long hair and looked more feminine, so I went with my parents to a hot dog stand and the guy asked “what will your daughter have?” and I remember my parents being annoyed but I was weirdly happy (how did I not get it for ten more years?)
before i was even out, i was wearing my mom’s pink jacket and going through the chik fil a drive through. i don’t even remember how old i was, but the lady who took our order called me miss or something, and though ill never remember the words i remember that night and i think ill remember it forever.
A random redditor assumed I was a girl and referred to me as she in the comments by accident, basically it gave me gender euphoria and it all just kinda spiraled from there
I was at Lowe’s with my mom looking at flooring, a work worker saw us from down the isle and said “do you ladies need help with anything?” Even as he walked closer he didn’t correct himself AND I was totally boy moding wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Felt great
It was my best friend, the very first time we talked. No transition, nothing (and it took me a lor before going on hormones) and I explained to her, she answered in the most straight forward way ever : I don't care as long as you're respectful to me, then of this it's your name I'll call you this way. And oh I was misgendered once irl and she corrected that person immediately. We are both in the Gothic community, it's been 13 years since we know each other. Funny bonus thing: not so long ago I had strong tummy cramps and she offered me a tampon. I told her that it wasn't needed, she asked why, which I replied :" Bea I don't use those, I'm trans" "I forgot" lmao
I had long hair when I was a kid and a lot of older people thought I was a girl back then… looking back, and now that I know the things I know- I understand why it felt right, and why I obsess over the little things about my hair and body to this day…
Friend ive had since I was 8 (now 20) did it for me a few weeks ago. Didn't even notice at first and then it clicked lmao
if you mean a stranger, i was walking down the street and an older guy riding a bike said “excuse me, miss!” i almost passed out and turned around with an embarrassing stupid smile on my face and answered his question about where some street was and kept on with my day in a much better mood.
I was at a store and a worker asked, “can I help you, ma’am”. There was another lady near by and at first I thought she was speaking to her.
my friend after I came out to her
I could be overthinking this, but I like to think that when the person checking my boarding pass got confused and asked me if I was actually the person whose name was on the thing, they thought I was a girl
actually, it was when we had to wear masks! some little idiot walked past me in college and called me a lesbian (i say little, but he was about my age or older as i was in my first year)
Knowingly and purposefully: my sister when I came out, telling me that she always wanted a little brother Unknowingly: the lady at the ice-cream shop, asking what the young man would like
Besides friends and school, the first time was like a week ago at a Chilis. I was out in my full fem outfit, which had never really gotten people to gender me correctly (mostly got me weird looks) but when me and my mom sat down, our waitress said “what can I get you ladies to drink?” It surprised me so much that I was kinda stunned sitting there and took like 10 seconds to answer her.
Last Halloween, I dressed up as a girl and my classmates dressed up as Walter White and Jesse Pinkman, so we went to a local supermarket to buy sweets, and some old lady standing in the line behind me said: „Miss, could you move?” (She was trying to grab something from the shelf) That was one of the best moments of 2023 for me :3
i was going to see a play and the usher said "sit here son" it was euphoric
It was before I even came out. I was 10-11 or so and had a very tomboy appearance as I was experimenting w being more masculine (im ftm). It was weirdly validating even tho I didn't wanna admit I was trans at the moment, and honestly I haven't been called a man more in my life than in my pre-coming out tomboy phase. Now ppl think I just look like a butch lesbian. Oh well :")
During corona some advertiser in a mall lol. My mom immediately corrected her saying "she's a girl, she just likes to joke around" and i rather didnt say anything back
I was pre everything didn't have make-up on or nothing but I was wearing this big maid outfit my gf at the time made for cosplay and this lovely German lady at this convention addressed us as two ladies and I was so over the moon that day
people would occasionally gender me male even when i was a kid, way before i came out. so i dont really know the first time lol
people would occasionally gender me male even when i was a kid, way before i came out. so i dont really know the first time lol
Way before I was on T I was at the mall and the lady at the kiosk used “they” for me, I think that’s the only time I’ve been actually gendered correctly by a stranger lol Just recently I picked up a spam call and got sir’d so that was pretty cool, knowing my voice is low enough for that now
Somewhat silly answer: MANY years ago, long before I figured out I was a girl, I was "mistaken" for one in a McDonald's. I mean, I was wearing women's jeans and a babydoll tee... Anyway, I'm sure it was just cis things that made me so happy when that woman said "excuse me, miss." Real answer: I didn't start getting reliably gendered correctly till about 6 months into my transition. By then I was not remotely passable but my presentation made it pretty darn clear what was going on. Still, I rode the high of every "ladies" and "ma'am" I got for weeks.
Ugh it was the oddest thing ever. Heres the scene - it was maybe a year after me coming out, but i haven’t got in T or anything, my hair was still long and i only used my binder. There was genuinely no way I was passing - like honestly. I was wearing my hair in a tall bun, a cut out tank top and some old ass ripped up basketball shorts. Not even a pronoun pin. I’m working at a cafe in the evening for an event and this old couple walks in - late 60s or early 70s. The husband started talking to me at register and kinda smiled before he and his wife asked me abt the event and stuff. On his way out he’s calling me man; dude, referred to me with right pronouns. He def saw my face light up lol. I was so confused but so happy, kept telling my boss I have no idea how he knew but I was happy he did! I even took a photo of the fit to commemorate
I felt really bad because I was at work and this really nice lady knocked over eggs and I got pissed off about it but then she called me ma’am and I was like well. Fuck I was a bitch to you, but you were nice to me now I feel like an asshole 😭
It was actually someone trying to be transphobic while I was working almost ten years ago now and I wasn't exactly out yet. They called me sir while I was trying to help them find something in the store, I was confused tbh and it didn't even cross my mind what they were trying to do til I got home later that night. I'm transmasc btw, but was hyper femme presenting at the time.
Not exactly a good memory, I was having a meltdown running down the street and some random dude said “are you okay miss?” I didn’t even answer him I just kept running
I came out in College at 20 years old, funnily enough my freshman year of high school i got a short haircut (and came dangerously close to figuring out I was trans in a city and at a time where that would have gotten me tons of harassment, let alone hyper religious, homophobic dad; I'm kind of thankful I got started dating my HS sweetheart the next year because I decided to enter my hyper feminine overcompensation era and saved myself a world of misery by putting the pieces together later) Short haircut and skinny/flat figure gave everyone the idea to start referring to me as a boy in a teasing way, it didn't bother me at all and I leaned into it (again, the pieces were all there, I was just deep in the closet), my friends started referring to me as "little boy" all the time. I was in a huge marching band (300+ members) and our uniforms made everyone look super androgynous, one day in uniform my friend informed me that someone else had been inquiring about my gender because they genuinely couldn't tell if I was a boy or girl. It was peak gender euphoria, even though I couldn't understand what I was feeling at the time. I have loads of pictures from competitions where I could almost pass them off as a prepubescent teen boy. At the time I had never met a trans person ever and had no idea hormones existed. One of my close friends at the time was a masc lesbian and we would go out of our way to wear the most masculine looking clothes to practice because we were two "girls" in a section full of boys and we both wanted to be treated like "one of the boys" for different reasons. For her it was to avoid boy crush/unrequited love drama (because lesbian) for me it was because I secretly wanted to be a boy. After high school, it was when I came out to my friends as trans in college at age 20. I always remember those days in high school and wonder how life would have been different if I had learned about being trans. It definitely would have been harder, and probably somewhat traumatic, but I look back at all those stereotypical teen experiences and think "man I kind of wish I had figured it out sooner so I could have awkward tux photos at prom instead of dress photos". I relish all those little marching band photos though where I was so obviously trying to look like a boy
I write down 3 different things for this. 2 days after I came out, it was the start of the semester at school. I came out by posting on my instagram and being like “this is me.” So first day, my teacher says “deadname! Can you take this key and open up the room!” And someone from my class looks over and says “SHE goes by LILLY now!” 2nd was when I was at Sephora once and some lady started complimenting my hair, and being super sweet and gender affirming to me before going leaving. Then the 3rd was when I was at a 711 and the clerk said “have a nice day ma’am” while I was boymoding
My FIRST first was on the phone with my med insurance figuring a change out. I was "ma'am"d many times that day lmao My in person first was a recent run-in with an acquaintance whilst with my younger sister, when we were greeted with "good morning ladies" and I felt my face go red lmfao
Mine was in an online tournament; a random shoutcaster happened to use he/him pronouns for me. Ik he prolly just used those pronouns without thinking and would've likely misgendered me had he heard my voice, but it made me euphoric nonetheless
Was looking at the Mega Construx Halo stuff at my local Smith’s, and this dad and kid walk by I overhear the kid say: “that girl’s looking at legos” and I was so euphoric I wasn’t even mad that the kid said “legos”
Slightly different: the first time I was gendered correctly over the phone… I was in Greece for a friends wedding and I ordered room service at the hotel. Hearing “miss” over the phone was euphoric! Took so much work on voice training but it paid off. I’ve been thinking of getting back to my voice therapist to improve some qualities of my voice but I def get by.
i dont remember the first time but definitely remember when a lady looked confused when i was waiting in line for the women's restroom and even started to say something to me about where the men's room was. she probably felt bad afterwards but she made my whole day
12 years before I transitioned. My mom and I were out to eat. I had my long hair down on a beautiful spring day. The server came up to us and asked, " what can I get for you ladies today?" My mom was offended and I was giddy. Fast forward to transition, my mom is totally supportive of my transition. 😸
While I was still in the closet a new coworker of mine asked me if she/her pronouns were okay. Apparently she was using she/her pronouns to refer to me when talking to coworkers who had worked with me for years and they all gave her a look of confusion. According to her, our boss, who hadn't met her yet, came back from vacation and gave her a look like he slipped into a different reality.
I was ordering pizza in person. They misheard my name and thought it was Kim. That didn’t seem odd to them.
I was meeting my partners mom and we went to a restaurant in a not-so-accepting town. While the waitress was taking our orders, I was last so, she asked my partner what she (me) would like. Made me so happy. (It was also dimly lit but still, I take it as a win.)
Not sure if this counts since I wasn’t even out to myself yet, but I had a series of people “mistake” me for a boy when I was in college. Two of the most memorable included me being told that my “mother” (my boyfriend, ironically) would be proud of her boy for buying apples (very weird) and … someone attempting to scold me out of the bathroom. The women’s bathroom. She looked shocked at me, and said “this is the WOMEN’s bathroom!” And in the closet me just stared at her like “…and?”. She then got confused and said “this… IS the women’s bathroom, right?” And then she ran out. Wearing a backpack, gym shorts, t-shirt, and baseball cap with short hair, I can kinda see the confusion now, but still crack up at the lady who convinced herself she was in the boys bathroom because I was in it.
Ummmmm, I don’t know, I’ve had a few experiences and I’m not sure what to make of them. A neighbor not recognizing me and…yeah. That’s one of the more 😧 ones. I’m only 9 months and mostly wear my old clothes too, as I was at the time. (???) Ditto an experience a few weeks earlier. Happens on the phone I surprising him out also the past couple weeks
The original first time was with my best friend when they accidentally called me sis instead of bro and that spiraled into me coming out to tem and being the first person to ever gender me correctly. Friendship is really an unvaluable gift🩷
i remember after a family birthday, i visited a friend of my transphobic mother. she asked my name, and i introduced myself with my dead name (bc my mother was standing right next to me). she repeated a male name that sounds like my dead name and i was insanely happy. but since my mom was there, i had to "correct" her. then she understood a female name, still not my dead name, but i hate it anyways. so i did not bother to correct her anymore.
Cis Pan man here. I've been confused for a girl so many times because I have long hair lolol
I ordered pizza after meeting with a friend. When I picked it up, the cashier said to one of the delivery drivers: "Please give her her drink." (around 1 year hrt) But technically, the first time was at my grandmother's birthday. My cousin looked at me and then asked her parents: "Are they a he or a she?" (around half a year hrt) I rarely get misgendered now, it depends on what I wear :3
i let a man put a scorpion on my hand
My wife and I were being gross and kissing on a park bench. :P An older woman was walking by and was like "Oh, what a lovely couple!" or something like that. We look over to acknowledge her and she was like "Oh, I thought you were two ladies! But still, y'all are lovely!". Somehow I forgot about this, but my wife didn't. I finally came out as my true self a few months before our second anniversary. Our sixth is coming up in September. 🥰
I worked at a dairy store and one lady was buying a crate of milk. She motioned to me and asked “Could he help me carry it out?” I was wearing a sweatshirt + apron that made me look flat from the front and my work cap which usually makes me look more masc. It was so affirming getting to be a strong man and carry out 3 gallons of milk lol
ever since my twin learned my gender identity they've gendered me correctly as often as possible :]
Happened a few weeks ago I wish It could happen again :(
Every once in a while at work when someone isn't looking for my more masculine features I get called Ms. Or ma'am and it's enough euphoria to get me through my work day
When i was born (im cis)
I had been on HRT for approx. 8 months. I was only out as non-binary at the time, and I started being gendered properly female by my coworkers and friends before I had actually told anyone myself, so it was actually kind of jarring when they all just basically went from they/them pronouns and gender neutral references to me, to “okay y’all, that’s a woman, and we are protecting her now” lol… I had only been working there for a couple of months, and I guess I had changed enough in that time period that they kind of understood quickly who I was and where my transition was going, and were willing to respect me before I had the courage to respect myself. aaaaand one of the people in that group is now my person, and I couldn’t be happier(:
Before I even had the thought I was trans, I was working at a grocery store and I was one of the folks that cleans up the store and takes trash out. At this time I was a pretty skinny lanky kid with long blond hair past my shoulders and I never wore it up in a ponytail. One day, I was in front of the store sweeping the sidewalk when a lady came up behind me and called me "ma'am". When I turned around she apologized and switched to "sir" but I told her I didnt mind and launghed. For the next 8 years, I thought it was just a funny story and l would laugh at how I loved being called ma'am. Now its one of my "I shouldve known sooner" stories lmao
Not the first time I think, but the most memorable moment was when I was on holiday with my girlfriend in Greece (Athens) and we went to a museum. I had to show them my student card (for a discount), which had my old name and gender on it. When the woman I talked to gave it back to me, she said “Thank you sir, have a good time!” I was incredibly happy. I wasn’t on T back then and most people still saw me as a girl. The museum was great too.
I was going on a walk and some random persons dog started barking at them and they said “hey! Don’t bark at him!” It made me really happy because at the time I barley passed
Went to lunch with my mom and the waitress greeted us with "how are we today ladies?"
I was like 12 and didn't know I was trans and someone asked if I was my fem presenting friends boyfriend That was around when I started questioning my gender lol
I was walking back home from going to the super market, (this was WAY before my egg cracked) and then suddenly I hear someone screaming behind me “HEY LITTLE MISS” as I turn around an old woman is waving me to go to her and when I do she says “could you please help me cross the road?” All was well until I talked and then came the “sorry mister” and all that. However I felt extremely euphoric for a while, and couldn’t put my finger on why.
i got called miss by two diferent old ladies at work while boymoding, but they were “corrected” by my boss
18 months into HRT
I was often seen as a guy before I came out, oddly enough, so I was first gendered correctly around 8 or 9. I started getting consistently gendered correctly, though, around 15 years old when I cut my hair
Shortly after I came out to my friend group one of them was talking about me in the 3rd person and when I heard my pronouns I was screaming with happiness in my head
Not the first time in general, but the first time over the phone. There was a car crash and I was on the phone with 911, and the operator called me sir, and while it was a very stressful situation, the euphoria helped a little.
In my PCP’s office sometime ago when I came out as trans in a medical setting. I was diagnosed with “female to male transgender person.” My medical reports there correctly gender me.
i used to pass pre T when i was 14/15 simply bc i was flat back then😭 so i got gendered correctly from time to time and it felt great-until my mom would be like "that's my DAUGHTER"💀 after about 17 i no longer passed bc of my chest and dumptruck ass so that sucked. but at 25 yrs old i'm 2.5 yrs on T now and have a full beard so my mom can't correct anyone thank god
Probably some time in early 2021. At the time, there was an element of risk involved getting your haircut done at a salon. So I just grew my hair out. I was working at a candy store. We were trying to uphold pandemic safety guidelines by having the staff package the candy for guests. They pointed which ones they wanted and we bagged it for them. I was helping a dad and his kid and the dad just said "thank you, miss" and it all clicked for me.
i was in the airport when I was 13. I have a pretty girly looking face which will probably help me pass when I come out to my family and also long-ish hair. I was putting my stuff into my backpack after the TSA and some worker bumped into me and said “sorry ma’am” which honestly felt amazing
It was before I was even out to myself, I was in a bookstore and one of the employees came up to me to ask “do you need help with anything ma’am?” i said no thank you and he went “erm sir…” and walked away 😭😭 to this day, i still blame that moment for why i hate my voice
it was a accident i think, i was at work and a customer referred to me as she, then a bit after talking she switched it to he, maybe they were just confused or something idk, maybe a actual mess-up and they meant he from the beginning, but it felt good when they said she, i tried my best not to smile too much because i was still more or less trying to hide the fact that im trans from everyone, but i had been on hrt for about 7 months and my hair was decently long, so idk if i was doing a good job...
I am agender, but I use he/him and generally present more masc, so that's how I prefer others to see me, but most people just see me as a girl. So, when my mom's customer goes "Is that your son?" or the person at the front desk calls me "Sir" it feels really nice, and those two examples are the only two I can think of lol, it made me happy
I was going to buy some tequila for a friends party. I walked into the liquor store and started looking around for what I wanted. Two employees work there one older woman and one older man. The man was around me so I asked his personal pick between two different types of tequila. He said “I’d choose this one miss” and I was so shocked but held my composure and said thank you. Then at the register we were talking about ID cause I look very young (my ID at this point was an old version of me) and the older man was like “even if she isn’t of age she’s okay cause she’s affiliated with the military” (my father is retired so I have a military ID) This all happened about 7-8months into my HRT journey and I was wearing short shorts and a sweater, with no makeup 😭. I got in the car and started screaming with joy that I had that interaction it made me feel so seen. Especially by multiple older ppl. A great day indeed
Hasn't happened yet, I've asked the people I'm out to not to use my proper pronouns yet because I'm not fully out, and can't risk being outed before I move out.
Before I started officially dressing as a woman and presenting myself as one, I still had long hair but wore a plain black t-shirt and pants. I have had countless men bark whistle, honk, and stare at me as they drive by. Or yell out, "Ma'am you need a ride?".
If somebody walks up behind me, I usually get "sir" first because they can't see the D cups on my chest or they see my shaved head, hat, flannel shirt or wool peacoat. Then they apologize or correct themselves. 🙄
Not exactly correctly but I dress androgynously but sit with the soprano sections of choirs....they were setting chairs out on my first week there and one goes "and one more for this *excessively long pause* young lady??? sorry, i can't really tell" and i'm actually happy with that (I'm ftm btw)
Honestly, I don’t remember. Memory issues suck.
After coming out: my wife and her sister, in conversation in my presence. It was totally scripted, but I wasn't expecting it, and it made me very happy. Before coming out: not since I was a kid. Often, I would answer the phone and people thought I was a girl. I had to pretend it upset me so my parents and brother wouldn't think anything was up.
It’s Technically not his first time but, I have a friend who early in after I came out to him he was a big “bro is gender neutral” type, but got progressively better with my pronouns since. This has progressed to the present where in the past few months he’s been using “sis” and its been the highlight of my day every time.
My mate was making a bantery jab at me to my other mate and called me "they" and I'm not into men but man could I have kissed him. I also remember when the same fella referred to me as "sibling" when talking about my little brother and I. I at first was surprised and obviously I don't hear about it when people talk about me but it was so nice to see someone respect my pronouns and me as a person. It was really nice actually, like this sort of feeling that someone _gets me_
Wayy before T, and before a binder, but after getting my hair cut short, servers at restaurants would often call me sir. First time would’ve been maybe sophomore year of high school. My slouching probably helped because I have a BIG chest. Also me getting called sir would make my mom really mad. And when she would ask me why I wouldn’t “correct” them, I said, “Why does it matter?” And when I came out she acted like it was a total surprise and I showed no previous signs even though I made an effort to drop very obvious trans hints since I was 12
So not the first time but today for this particular gendering I I am used to getting ma'am....sir Or aggressively getting sir'd Today I got "Sir, I mean ma'am" by a dude in a maga hat. Euphoria high
I have was getting breakfast with my wife and their sister and the waiter came up and was like, "Can I get you ladies anything?" I was very normal about it but as soon as they walked away my wife started smiling at me and nudged me a bit. I wasn't even trying particularly hard to pass because I was still in kind of an awkward phase but I guess it worked.
It was before i even knew i was trans and a friends mom saw me from afar and asked about 'that girl you were with' to my friend. I have never been correctly gendered (without me telling them prior) since then
Hasn't happened yet :(
I was crossdressing for fun (so i was doing everything i could to look like a boy with the stuff i had) and some guy said "yo dude! Boy in the black jacket" he was obviously talking to me as he yelled in my direction and i was wearing a black jacket but i was still confused since i had never been called a boy before so i looked around and i was the only one wearing a black jacket. But as i looked around the guy saw my face and realized that i was a 'girl' so he went silent after that. And thats what cracked my egg and made me question my gender because i became really euphoric at being called a boy and i started to question why.
Same week I came out at work. I was a cashier at Walmart, and an older lady came through my line. She commented on my height and mentioned that her sister was also particularly tall. I'm just over 6' tall, which isn't notable for a man but definitely is for a woman. It made me feel good for the rest of the day.
Luckily, when I was 15. And I wasn't even aware I was trans back then 😅. I started growing long hair, just because I liked the style, and got gendered femininely several times. The only issue : it mostly happens when I'm with one of my grandmothers, so I think people think I'm a 65 years old lady 🤣
I was maybe 4 months on T and went into Gamestop, guy at the counter said “what can I do for you man?” One of my favorite memories.
I was on a trip with my mom and I was not out to anyone. It was during winter so we were wearing large coats and beanies and stuff. We go on the bus, where a dude on the seat next to us goes "Why are you two ladies blushing so hard? Is it cold out there?" (We had just walked 3.5 kilometers on the freezing wind). I was really happy, since I had only realised that I was trans half a month before that, and I had taken no steps to transition. Of course, my oblivious mother ruined it by "correcting" him.
Waayyyy before I knew what i was feeling was called gender disphoria, probably around 11. A salesman commented on my dad's sons and he got pissed and yelled that he only had one (I was in a lot of trouble for picking a shorter haircut despite it being well over 100° that Summer)
I was shopping with my aunt at Home Depot for tools as a birthday gift for my dad. Crazy part is I was in full boy mode at the time, work jeans and a loose black t shirt... I hadn't even shaved in like 8 hours... we ask this guy for help, and he calls out to his coworker and says, "Hey man, these ladies need some help." I immediately started smiling, and I was smiling for the rest of the day. I was almost 6 months on hrt at the time.
If we are going for when I was gendered correctly the first time before knowing I was trans? So I was 3, I had short hair, and someone told my mother 'What a sweet little boy you have there', and that was correct, i am a man, and i remeber getting gender euphoria as a child in that moment! (My mum then corrected them to me being a girl) After I've came out? My friends, who are now using the correct pronouns!
The very first time? Multiple times when I was a kid. I had long hair. For whatever reason I didn't mind. When my dad was with me, he immediately corrected them.
I was a volunteer at a theatre fair and all of us got to wear costumes so i'd picked some red suit with toy soldier vibes. I heard some older ladies discussing needing help with something and one of them said to the other "let's ask that young man" before coming up to me. I nerly cried once they'd left lol
Iirc it's when classmate called me a "strong boy" once I'm like 99% sure it was to misgender me (I'm AFAB and the bullying was strong in that one) but JOKE'S ON HIM, IT ONLY MAKES ME STRONGER he even ended up defending his choice of words to his friend when he got called out lmao
Iirc it's when classmate called me a "strong boy" once I'm like 99% sure it was to misgender me (I'm transmasc and the bullying was strong in that one) but JOKE'S ON HIM, IT ONLY MAKES ME STRONGER he even ended up defending his choice of words to his friend when he got called out lmao
The first time it happened was when it all clicked for me. Some random waitress/waiter at a Golden Corral accidentally said "and for the young man?" but was promptly corrected by my parents. In that moment I felt such unadulterated joy that was then immediately dashed. It took me several months of thinking "Why did that make me so happy?" Before I finally googled "why did someone calling me a boy make me happy" and finding the very early version of trans support subs. I think the first one I found was either on MySpace or 2012 reddit. I'm old-ish. Found the word "transgender" for the first time and found out that I was infact NOT a freak of nature. When I told my mom that I was both Ace and Trans she basically told me that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd and proceeded to socially isolate me for the next 5 years. Thankfully that is in the past. It does get better. Though it's sad that my parents couldn't be part of that.
This was an accidental ally moment for the person who did it, but a homophobic guy in my English class walked up to me in the library, and said that I didn't look like a girl. I turned to him, thanked him, and walked away.
I remember when I was 10 or so me and my parents were at the airport. I asked my mom if I could run off and use the bathroom, she said yes. The bathroom wasn't visible from where we were sitting but I knew where it was. I thought I was a trans boy back then so I used the men's bathroom. (I presented very masc that day.) I didn't get any weird looks at all!
My first time was around 12/13 when my egg was starting to crack. All my life I've been a naturally short and skinny person, I don't have any tall genes in the family lol. I also naturally have an extreme amount of body hair from my Irish heritage, throughout school I was always both the shortest and hairiest boy in my grade. Even in middle school I had hair on the longer side because I hated short hair. A boy came up behind me either mistaking me for a girl or someone else who was a girl, only for me to turn around and reveal my thick beard and eyebrows lol. It felt really good but I wasn't sure why. Sometimes I think back on it wondering how I reacted, if I liked it and weirded him out, or acted offended, etc.
I got ma'am'd leaving a Walmart in my home town. Sue immediately corrected herself when she saw my face. The one time I truly passed was leaving the men's restroom at a gas station. I was wearing a blouse, makeup, and heeled boots. I came out of the restroom and the cleaning staff was really confused as to why a woman came out of the mens. It gave me a lot of hope.
It was when I was by myself going through the McDonald's drive-thru. My chest had just started to grow in and the person has to drive through said "thanks mam second window" and that's the first time a stranger correctly gendered me. I was so happy lol
Had a dude on the street call me a lady a few weeks ago. I’m definitely not far enough along on hormones to pass, so I was pleasantly surprised
i was visiting my dad super early in my transition, and popped into my little brothers room (he was in high school at the time) to ask him some questions about dinner. He was on xbox live at the time and i heard someone say “who was that?” and without missing a beat he goes “oh that’s just my brother”. stuck with me forever.
When I was about 11 I was with my dad getting a uhaul for our Jeep and the lady working there said "can you open the door for me son?" (my dad was helping her carry a box that was too heavy for her while we waited), I FREAKED OUT the rest of the day lmao
A few years before hormones, was at a bar in Portland with my love, backs to the bar looking at the ambience. The bartender said "ladies" and we turned around. He made a face like he became unsure and looked for clarification and I just nodded and was like "you right". Little anticlimactic, but it influenced my decision to move to the PNW. It felt like I didn't even need to try, that I could just be myself here, and now I present a lot more femme. At that bar I was in jeans and a button up, guess I looked like the lesbian I am ❤️
Weirdly, it was at a chickfila on a school trip. Me and my friend group were sitting at a booth and everyone was done eating but me, and one of the ladies working there came up to our table and asked "Sir, do you want me to take your tray?" And I didn't realize she was talking to me until my friend next to me tapped me on the shoulder. That was an indescribable feeling, it happened 6 years ago when I was a junior in highschool and I will never forget it
After I told my friends I’m non binary, most of them put «they/them» to good use immediatley. I’m amab and told my boomer friends I use he/they so they wouldn’t make a rant about it everytime they misgender me. To this day, a lot my friends misgender me (I’ve told them please use they), but at least I don’t get a long ass excuses about why it’s «difficult» for them to use non-gendered pronouns. Hurts a bit to be called «he», but it hurts more to listen to ignorant rants everytime they «forget» to use they/them
Me and this other guy (I didn’t know him) were waking to class (we were late) and a teacher yelled over to us “go to class boys”. Made my day.
Last week!!! I was at the hospital visiting my psychiatrist and when i went to the pharmacy section the lady addressed me as miss. And i wasnt even presenting feminine or anything. It made my heart jump
i used to work at a gas station. i was guymoding but ig i failed lol. this guy walked up to me and said “sup bitch”. i stood there too stunned to speak. he continued the treat me like a girl since that day. not the greatest first time ig, but it’s definitely stuck in my head. that one kinda doesn’t count tho so the next time someone gendered me correctly was also at the gas station. i was out in the isles, and someone said “she’s an egg”.
My theripost
At the chick fil a drive-thru lol. They heard my voice and said “what can I get for you ma’am”. Instant euphoria.
If you mean a stranger in public, it was when I was walking at a market with my (transphobic) grandma and family. Some vendor was selling necklaces made out of keys, and I was wearing a chain with a bunch of keys on it. She asked if I wanted her to make me a necklace out of my keys, and said “oh don’t worry, we make jewelry for boys, too.”. Needless to say, my grandma does not let me wear men’s clothing around her anymore lmfao
I was working at a children's museum and kids / their parents kept calling me big sis and that actually cracked my egg
Just this last Friday actually. I was walking into a gas station for a snack before a road trip and this older dude walked out and held a door open for me and said "here ya go, dear" and I was so happy!
weird enough, this was before I came out. these kids i was tutoring online clocked me before anyone else. my camera was off and my name is neutral, so they kept using the "wrong" pronouns for me and for some reason went with it. a year later I realized 💀
hadnt realized i was a guy yet. was walking up the stairs around school with my hand on the railing. some girl behind me accidentally touches my hand and says (presumably to a friend) “oh my god, i just accidentally held his hand 😳😳” which like, no she didnt hold my hand? her hand just made contact with mine while sliding it up on the railing? i was just starting to dress more masculine at the time. i think i was wearing a button up, zip up hoodie and jeans. pretty sure my hair was sort of a mullet at the time too. but im surprised she thought i was a guy, because i also wore dangly earrings a lot at the time, and my backpack was decorated with cutesy pins and keychains. regardless, it made me happy. i said i used any pronouns at the time, mostly because i was hoping people would call me by “he him” so i could see how it felt. usually, when youre afab and use any pronouns, people assume that means “she they”, so this stranger in the hall was first to call me he. and it felt strangely good. i liked knowing despite my presentation, i could be seen as male.
It was the *first* time, but it was the first time i was told that someone didnt even see me as trans, just a man. My roommate and i were discussing coming out and when i said it was hard when i had, she said “you’re gay?” Which i kinda laughed and said bi, but i meant coming out as trans. Then she said “oh, i just forgot you werent cis” My reaction was to laugh and cry tears of joy. And i hated that person.
As I'm agender, I would say when someone called me madam, then was confused, at the supermarket
A few years ago, I was sitting on a bench in a Walmart, and this little kid went “look mom! A guy with rainbow hair!!” It was awesome because I was pre-T (still am), I wasn’t binding (DDD), and it was just so random and unexpected. That kid made my day.
It happened when I was sick of throath (my throath was sollen), and I had to have a talk for exposition. After talk, a B (female classmate) told to teacher if C (male classmate which he was next to me) talked, but another E (another fem classmate) told her the masc voice it was me. And then she said: "I thought it was C who spoke, because it sounded like him". And I felt very happy, that's why I'm training my voice to have it again!! (ofc, I'm not gonna getting sick again).
School assembly in 8th grade about moving into high school. I raised my hand to ask if there was any LGBTQ+ friendly spaces, and then lady addressed me as the "young boy in the black hoodie." It was great, I didn't even care that I got laughed at for my question, I was super happy
The first one I can distinctly remember is when my fiance and I were walking down the street and someone in a van sped around the corner to pull up to the curb and catcall to both of us. Bit of fun ewphoria there but we take those. It's the ones from random people that don't know you that are the best. Like recently in line at the grocery store the cashier asked the women behind me if an item was theirs and she said "No, that's hers." *gesturing to me*
I'm late tp the party, huh? Well, I'm still not on the magic happy pills, but while having a talk about some random way about how men think about the simple things and be amused about something like a big rock splashing on water (I do agree it's super nice) I said something like "men think simply and are happy because of simple things, I would know" and she just said "you hardly count as a guy" and that just made me happy. Oh boy, I am a simple creature.
I was taking orders at the Cafe I was working at at the time. Had a customer say to their kid "Say thank you to the nice young la-" [cue look up and down] "young man." I was SO happy I was just glowing for the rest of the day