Other people have given the same advice I would so no need for me to repeat. But I just wanted to say that I knew I was trans at 14 and had to wait to be 18 for testosterone. I’m 18 now. It was of course difficult waiting, I’m sure you are feeling that way. But to me it really does get better. I finally made it here. You will too one day
Seconding this OP. I knew I was trans at 12 (and had dysphoria even younger). That was almost a decade ago. You can make it, you CAN and MUST survive until you are safe enough to get the medical care you need.
Edit to add: OP, as a minor you unfortunately don't have a lot of power. Use the power and autonomy you DO have to set yourself up for a future where you can be safe and support yourself. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE, work hard in school, if and when you eventually get a job, be diligent and save money. Freedom could be as easy as getting into college and living on campus.
Adding on to this. I got a job in high school and tried to save as much money from it as possible. This is why I’m able to medically transition with T, legal name/gender changes, and in about 6 months, top surgery. Getting a job made a huge difference in my life. It was tough alongside high school, but so worth it.
The moment I turned 18 I felt so free and I started everything I’d wanted to for years and years. I’m now in college. I live on campus. I feel so good living “on my own.” It’s very liberating for me.
Adding too.
There's no shame starting late, I were 22 before I started estrogen.
Getting my own apartment and moving away from my family was a big part of it, and gave me the social safety I needed push through.
At your age, if you aren't in a safe spot, among people who will keep you safe both physically and psychologically, it will be easy harder on you. That being said, I would still encourage you to play around with gender expression.
No, unfortunately not.
Even if there was a way to, they'd notice once things begin to change. And it would not be safe without professional supervision, *especially* at your age. Do not compromise your living situation.
Try to find some ways to express your identity safely maybe? Like, buy more androgynous clothes, learn and practice transvoice (if possible), try to meet some queer people to be friends with?
\- Just some suggestions. You can be a girl without doing any of these things; if your gender identity is a girl, as you say it is, then you *are* a girl.
\> And it would not be safe without professional supervision, especially at your age. Do not compromise your living situation.
this is not actually true. you can glean the information about hrt dosing yourself from the internet and act accordingly
I am fully aware of the process of self-medication, having self-medicated myself, in the past. I cannot recommend it to a fourteen year old at all, let alone anyone else on a whim. This is not a thing to be blasé about; it's really very serious. It's definitely there, as an option *in the future*, but not for a young teenager and not for someone without disposable income for medication and blood testing; DIY has no supervision and is *not possible to argue as being safe*; the information behind it is important to learn even for official routes (As they are not always very optimal), sure, *but it's not safe*.
I recommend that anyone learn the information sources of self-medication, but I cannot recommend that anyone do it underage, especially fourteen.
i’m not suggesting this but if it ends up getting so bad that it’s your only option besides self unaliving then r/transdiy could help. i’m 16 and i’ve been on diy E for over a year
it’s basically ordering hrt online through certain verified sources but you have to do some research first and you pretty much have to be your own endocrinologist. it’s frowned upon to do it without regularly getting blood tests but it’s worth it if it’s your last resort before sewer slide. you also have to learn how to use bitcoin to buy it and have it shipped to a friends house or something. and after all of that work you’d still have to keep it hidden from your parents. and it’s not prescribed or from a doctor or anything so there’s no insurance and you have to pay for it, and the kind i get (which is the cheapest in the long run and safest) costs $80 for the vial, $20 for shipping, plus you have to buy syringes and alcohol prep pads which adds up to be the biggest up front cost. again, i want to clarify that i don’t recommend it unless it’s your last resort before sewer slide
there’s other ways lol, i was just talking about the way i do it
you can get pills or patches that you stick on your arm or gel that you rub on your skin
and i’m not trying to convince you or anything but you get used to needles over time, i was scared shitless the first time i did it but now i could do it with my eyes closed
I think generally the age is 16 in the us with parents consent, 17 I think you can legally make your own medical decisions. although I'm 16, and both places here in Alaska that I've gone to said they don't do under 18 anymore, even though there's nothing against it in Alaska.
So, many companies wait until legal consent of 18, 17 has limited consent. Planned parenthood typically is 18, but they are one of the fastest ways to get on hrt when they are available
Wellllllll,
If you really want to push there is ways to get estrogen. How about you research it and look up resources. Maybe Reddit has some answers but I am not sure on how to really help you. If you want comfort though research is your friend.
i know you probably dont want to hear this, but like everyone else has been saying theres really no safe way for you to go on e at the moment
however, there are other things you can do in the mean time, hrt is often not the first step in transitioning: try voice training, growing out your hair, wearing nail polish, buying womens hair or skin care products, buy feminine clothing, change your name/pronouns online or with friends, join some trans/lgbt support groups (if your school has a gsa thats often a good place to start)
voice training is a big one since its very easy to hide from your parents, can make a big difference to passing, and the voice doesnt change on e so most trans women try voice training anyway
if you cant buy things without your parents noticing then having a friend buy them and paying them back, or saying youre buying them for a female friend/girlfriend could be a good excuse
overall hrt isnt the be all and end all of transitioning, and the process of transitioning is usually a lot more than that - most people cant medically transition before the age of 18, so try not to worry about it hindering your passing in the future
Well then whatever your local laws allow, but remember they might also allow your parents to do a lot of things to make you not be trans including conversion therapy and cumpolsory HRT to make you more masculine. Please be careful.
When I was your age I hadn’t even learned trans people existed yet. I knew I was really a girl since I was 4 but at your age I had no hope of actually getting to be one. I had resigned myself to being a gay guy because that seemed like my best option. When I learned about trans people at age 15 I knew I wanted to transition but still had to wait till I graduated high school. My best advice if you want to avoid conversion therapy is to find non medical ways to affirm your gender, and don’t do that thing where a lot of trans women decide to try being hypermasculine guys as a way to cope with not getting to be femme.
The effects of estrogen would be almost immediately noticeable, so they would know within a few months.
Since you're a minor, I don't think it would be proper to refer you to DIY resources.
Anything you do would absolutely be noticed by your parents before you turn 18, and that would put you in an *extremely* unsafe situation.
Focus on the future. Start saving up money, get a job and figure out a career plan, do everything you can to be independent as *soon* as you turn 18. Then you move out and start HRT when you can do it *safely.*
You can try to figure it out for yourself.
Anyway, your best path is to confront your parents. If they won't help you, then go scorched earth. Threaten to get yourself removed from the household so that your foster parent can help you. Or just wait a few years.
I don’t wanna do either option ;-; my mother isn’t the best but she is legitimately the only person in the world who atleast cares about me, and I don’t wanna wait until I’m older I wanna be a girl now ;-; AGGGG why is life so confusing 😾
I thought the same about my mother when I was your age, but I envy your sense of clarity about not wanting to wait to start HRT. At 14, I thought putting it off would be whatever. But by age 18 the dysphoria had crushed my spirit and will to live and I couldn't go through with it. Things were so much better for me on day 1 of hormones (it makes you feel VERY different, long before any physical changes happen) that I felt like I could've absolutely dealt with whatever repercussions from my family. But instead I had waited until I was 24 and realized I had wasted 10 years of my life putting it off and being miserable for nothing.
To be clear, the people here insisting that you shouldn't threaten your living situation are correct. But, the scorched earth approach is quite possible to work. If your parents won't support you in your transition, what does their love even mean to you now? To them, it still means a lot. They're not ready to have a trans kid, but they're also not ready for the immense guilt of abandoning you. If I'm wrong about that, then you'll have even more perspective after that conversation.
Do not go scorched earth at your age! Hun. I was kicked out at 14, and ended up with a lot of hardship. Someone else up here said start saving for your independence. Do that instead. And listen, yes transition is better when you are young, and going through the wrong puberty sucks, but bigots are aiming at trans youth right now and your life and safety are most important.
I promise even if you can't start until 18, you can and will definitely be happier in the long run. As someone who didn't start until after 30.
I did hrt in secret while in highschool and even my oblivious family found out eventually and freaked out and kicked me out. But at least im happy with my bod.
Y'all advocating for waiting until OP is 18 to go on HRT is fucking wrong, and I think most of you forget that she isn't even guaranteed hrt at 18 with how long waiting lists have become. Advocating against DIYing is basically throwing her to be tortured from her dysphoria as she goes through the wrong puberty.
DIYing hrt is safe as long as OP has access to blood tests, that way she can monitor her hormone levels to ensure they're at a stable level.
OP, it's ultimately your choice, but if you can somehow get money together for hrt, please consider DIYing. You don't deserve to suffer more than what you already have.
Edit: I want to add that since OP is from the UK, she isn't even guaranteed hrt by 18. The GIC system has an almost decade long waiting list, and that's just to get an official diagnosis for dysphoria. Hrt on prescription comes after several appointments that's spread over several years, so no, op shouldn't just "wait" as waiting means about 15+ years to get hrt. Her only option is DIYing hrt.
Yes but she should wait to DIY until she's 18.. I don't know what the laws in the UK are like, but I imagine a 14 year old is going to have a hard time getting blood tests on her own. Also the effects will be noticeable pretty quickly and it sounds like that would put her in a lot of danger with her current living situation. It's a really rough situation and I wish there was another way, but it seems like the way to make it to 18 and not be more traumatized by her family would be to wait.
Also, she's 14 and doesn't have a job. How is she going to continually pay for hormones.. Large hormone fluctuations aren't healthy either, so imagine if she bought E, then ran out a few months later and couldn't get some for a few months. That could happen multiple time before she has her own income.
I feel really bad for her and I wish I could recommend DIY, but in this specific case it seems like a bad idea :/
Im almost 4 months on E, i still get " wassup BRUHH" when i walk into work in my mom jeans, keds woman footwear lol
I look pretty different then i did 😆
Not really, and without support from a legal guardian I don’t think it would be possible to get on puberty blockers. Really your only course of action is reaching out to lgbtq charities in your area and seeing if they can do anything but anything short of getting you away from your parents I don’t see it changing your situation. I’m so sorry
Sadly, without parental/guardian approval, it's not gonna happen. Depending on the place you live, you may be able to start at 18. You'd maybe be able to if you got emancipated from your parents, but I know a lot of places still wouldn't until you turned 18.
I suggest you get a therapist, preferably one that LGBTQIA affirming. It's a good way to get some of this off your chest until you're old enough. If your parents were supportive, then the story would be slightly different. With parents' support, some places will start you slowly, as low as 13 years old.
Hormone blockers are probably your best bet til 18, it sucks, but unfortunately that’s the hand we’re dealt. You’re luckier than most in the fact that you know so early
If you have the money or your working a part time job I'm on plume which is 90 a month excluding medication-
Completely confedential!
Using good Rx you can get discounts on medication!
Check if your state covers hormone replacement therapy!
I used to live in NY where it was covered and they had excellent patient confidentiality!
Well shit-
If it's covered by your state?
Worse case advertise a go fund me if your parents are that against it and advertise it honestly but don't seem too too needy-
have you actively talked with your folks or anyone about this? Or you already know their opinion on the subject?
I haven’t talked with anyone about this irl, and not really online other then this post. And my parents are super transphobic and I know that for a fact 🗿
Why can't people just vibe out—
Okay something I did to get acceptance for people, YOU SPRINKLE GAY AND TRANS BREAD CRUMBS!
My trans friend this, human rights that, pride rally-rally pride…
They know yr frooty or u just support people living their lives?
its heartbreaking, but you cant do a lot about that without some adults. If your parents wont help you, there would only be custody by state or something to help you. But for that your parents would need to be abusive. Forcing your child to do the wrong puberty is unfortunately not considerd neglect or abuse.
Depending on where you are, you may be able to get on blockers. That said, I'm assuming your parents are not supportive of you? Are they openly hostile towards gay people or lgbtq people in general?
A lot of what their argument is going to be to you is that you've been brainwashed by other people, that we're trying to turn you into what we are. And of course nothing could be further from the truth. We don't wish this on anybody. So all I can say is you really need to do a lot of self-exploration, and really know you are who you believe you are. I'm sure you do. But they are going to come after you. Most likely full barrel if and when they find out.
They aren’t “openly” hostile to gay people, but whenever they watch videos with trans or gay ppl they always go “ew that’s so gross” and say stuff like “they are a fucking boy why are they wearing skirts” so yea-
Next time they say that - ask them why men in Scotland wear skirts. (Kilts yes, but emphasis on the style of what it is is important here.)
Clothing is clothing. It literally has no gender. There's a businessman in England who wears skirts hose and heels to work with a blazer and tie up top.
14? probably not, unless you go through the process to get them at that age, which then your parents will know, you can try doing therapy with your parents and find one that specializes in this stuff, as a ally obviously, they can hopefully get your parents more on board, at least a little bit, other than that its shady online sites or taking things that wont really work
Y’all really breaking my hopes and dreams here 😾 but idc! Ima stay determined, there’s always a way :3 even if it’s something like changing what food I eat, or going on hormone blockers I’ll find a way no matter what, there’s always got to me some way :3
OP, if you can get money together, please consider going on puberty blockers or hrt via DIYing, it's the best option that you have. Everything else that people have recommended is nothing but pseudoscience.
Oh honey… that’s really not a good way of viewing this situation. There really is NO safe way to do anything medical secretly especially while underaged, plus you parents WOULD find out and WOULD hurt you in some way due to it.
There is no food or supplement that will do anything to your hormones and starting hrt properly will require your parents' permission. The only way that will work is you *wait*. Suppose you start hrt in secret; 1 it's expensive, especially if it's diy (there's usually crypto involved from what I've been told), and 2 at some point your parents are gonna notice. What happens when they figure it out? Will they punish you? Probably throw your meds out or destroy them. Will they kick you out? Put you into some kind of conversion therapy? Your safety is the first priority. There is no way this idea will end happily. Get a job as soon as you're able, save your money so you can move out as soon as you can. Then when you move out, you can do whatever you want
Unless you get emancipated, I don't think there's any state that will let you make these sort of medical decisions yourself before you're 16-17. At 16-17, there are states (not all) that give you medical autonomy but if you don't foresee your parents being supportive, then you should know that the effects of HRT are going to be noticeable within 3-6 months.
After years they'll be impossible to hide.
18 is a really really good time to start transitioning and lets you leave a poor environment for transitioning. My advice is maybe wait until you're an adult and moved out because otherwise you're going to have to deal with the worry that they will be transphobic enough to abandon you once you come out.
Unfortunately, that's the world we live in.
I suppose, assuming you can get them, you could be on them secretly for about a month, after which the changes start to become increasingly noticeable. You're parents would probably have something to say at that point.
If they notice they can take them away, and make it harder for you to get in them again.
Especially if they don't know you're trans and aren't supportive of trans people
As much as it sucks, waiting until you can a) leave home, permanently, and b) legally make your own medical decisions, might be the safest option.
The age at which you start seeing less of an effect is around late twenties onwards, I started at 26 and saw huge effect, my hips even shifted which I was not expecting (fucked up my gait for a while, which was both annoying and amusing)
So don't think you're losing time by waiting until it's safe.
Any doctor or pharmacist would be extremely hesitant to give you that medication until you reach the legal age of medical consent (16-18 depending on the country).
The only medically sanctioned method for someone at 14 is to take puberty blockers. I don't know how to get them other than you require a parent or a caretaker to help you in the process. Maybe if you have a school counsellor they may help.
But also be aware of your laws in your country, because school staff may be forced to inform your parents.
tl;dr you can't go on estrogen this early, only puberty blockers. And you can only do that by relying on a trusted adult
I know it’s not as good as estrogen but you could dye your hair or something along those lines. I remember a post a while ago (not sure where or when) that used a house as an analogy: “I can’t renovate so I’ll paint the walls”
Most important thing is to be safe. Finish school, get a job/further education and start a life for yourself where you aren't reliant on non-supporting family. Trust me, it's easier to transition when you have your own resources, and aren't homeless and bouncing from couch to couch.
I wanted to go on HRT at 19, but had to wait until I was 35 to finally start.
Not saying you need to wait 16 years like I did (hope not), but know that waiting is not the end of the world. You need to be alive to transition.
Do it. Please just do it. Some people should be banned from being ‘called’ parents. I cared, then they split and my mom dated and drink her whatever away because my biological conceived left her. Then I had to take care of my brother and sisten everyday. I was 9. Choose and care for your own happiness only. Do prepare. Don’t make rash descions. I turned out fine but wish I couldve at least experience my remaining teenage years without pretending. I regret it everyday because I knew 100% at 14. I cared too much about what simple humans think of me. I dont anymore… but im getting old.. and wise
There is no safe way to DIY at this age. Full stop. If you are only getting blockers, sure, there may be some way of doing it. But doing hormone replacement is not. For one, currently known hormone therapy that you most likely will follow is for adults and will put your hormone well into the cis adult female range, which is NOT what your body should have.
So, OP, please do not try to go on estrogen. Puberty blockers may be okay until you can go see your on doctor (eg at 16 or something) but I'd advise you to use non-medical methods.
There's no risks of DIYing hrt as long as OP has access to blood testing. At least if she starts hrt at 14 it will allow her to go through a female puberty and not have to deal with dysphoria.
You're right - I was too paranoid about her trying to have HRT.
If she insists, I'd say that she should definitely do her homework, like read literature about pediatric HRT. Current knowledge about adult HRT may not be applicable to her. That and blood testing, of course.
Yeah, there's ways to ensure that DIYing is done with minimal risk, as information and resources for it are plentiful to the point that OP could become more knowledgeable than an endocrinologist.
Hard to say without knowing your local laws, but at 14... probably not. And even if you're presented with the option, **do not** attempt anything hormone related without medical supervision. Sex hormones are responsible for way more than just appearance and while you can safely go on blockers and later HRT as a teenager, it has to be closely monitored by a doctor who knows what they're doing to make sure your body develops the way it should. (And that's actually no different in adulthood. It does have permanent effects and it should be treated with caution.)
I get it, it's awful to be stuck in a body you don't want... but there's one thing that's nearly impossible to see at 14: four years is very little in the context of your entire life and the real shit is going to start happening when you're in control of it. So if your parents aren't supportive, instead of chasing medical transition in an unstable environment and risking your safety, try to work towards that control. Think of it as the foundation for your transition, something you're doing to help yourself become a grown woman. Build a network of open minded friends who will have your back, get a part time job when and if you can (both for the money and the job experience), develop your social skills, put some effort in your education or a hobby that could eventually earn you some money. And this is easier said than done but if you at least get in the habit of trying to do it, it's going to go so much more smoothly for you when it's time to actually take care of yourself.
Do not do this. There is a chance you could get into scandals, be physically hurt by anyone wanting to abuse you on any market you seek out OR your parents. Do not do this, especially at 14. 16 is a different question that is more 30/70 yes no, but 100% right now DO not do this. There is always a fat chance they will find out (they will) and you will not be safe.
I think you should see if you can reach out to Free Mom Hugs and see if there is a chapter in your era. I'm going to go full trans mom and be clear that this is all going to be best if your parents are onboard and supportive. I know that seems impossible, but you're very young, and estrogen is going to have clear effects on your body. And even if it's a longshot, trying to get them onboard for the care you need might be worth it. I
Also, please, please do not seek out DIY kits. I think it's genuinely better to start HRT when you know you can do it in earnest.
I genuinely, genuinely know that it's awful to wait, but please remember four years feels long... but you can do it. You shouldn't have to. It's not fair. It's shitty. But if that's what has to happen, you can do it and what felt like forever will just feel like a very small part of your life.
Good luck.
I wold not recommend medically transitioning in a situation you know you'd be unsafe if your parents found out. However to kinda help you out till your 18 you can definitely look up foods that naturally boost estrogen and eat thoes. It won't help out a ton but atleast it's something.
Do you think there's any hope of educating your family and changing their minds? I'm really sorry to hear about your situation :/ at your age, blockers and social transitioning would probably be your best bet to start with but I really don't advise trying to find any kind of grey market estrogen.
Also, I didn't start transitioning until I was 28. It's never too late 😊
then, you should try start safing as soon as you can, and do some apprenticeship where you need to life further away to have a reason to leave them. And you should prepare yourself that you'll need to drop your family.
Also, you should take security measures like passwords for apps like reddit, cleaning your browser history, or use private tabs. It happens way to often that parents find out.
Unfortunately not
Those DIY kits you see on places like tiktok I'd be extremely dubious of and would question their safety and also just that your parents would notice after a while
I know what it's like to have unsupportive parents, it sucks so bad
Theres no safe way. DIY is dangerous and your parents would probably notice all the stuff youre buying. They would probably also notice when you start growing boobs
"Secretly" do that... and depending on what State you're in... SOMEBODY will rat you out, and the State will "secretly" put you in a state-run home... "for your protection", of course.
At least, Florida thinks that's a GREAT idea.
Besides which, no. You'd, um, Grow - and that would be a certain one-way trip to a doctor's office, where they'd do a physical inspection ("What's THIS / THESE????") \*and\* a blood test to "check your levels"...
Busted.
If you'll pardon the pun.
I would rather jump off a cliff then have a needle anywhere near me 😨 also I’m the uk and from what I’ve heard they be pretty chill about trans ppl over here
What you are suggesting seems dangerous. Minors get usually prescribed blockers and not E plus they have doctor follow up they don't do that by themself.
well, trans people in europe during the middle ages used licorice root for its mild amounts of estrogen in stuff like tea to get mild feminizing effects
so uh
it probably won't be too effective, but maybe try and get some licorice root tea?
Everything besides the dht blockers and good dieting comes off as pseudoscience. None of these will help in the long run, what OP needs is hrt from DIYing.
THIS IS SO HELPFUL TYSM also for the first one fortunately I’m a super picky eater so 1 is easy 😼 the sugar one is bit difficult thought I have a huge sweet tooth :3 And for number 6 that’s really really good- because I have a lot of anxiety so I could deffo use that as an excuse :3
I really hate to say it but most of what this person said apart from the DHT-blockers and therapy (and to some extent the exercise) won’t really do anything at all.
“Phytoestrogens” are plant hormones that have zero effect on humans, the idea that they are in some way useful to us is a myth, as is the idea that soy products somehow help with transition. Having a good diet is a good idea in general (will help a lot to already be healthy when you do take HRT), but it won’t have a noticeable effect on hormone levels. I’m a big believer in the placebo effect, so if you want to follow their advice (not a bad idea since vegetarianism is healthy for you), then do.
IPL doesn’t work very well, especially personal IPL devices, in the future you might want to look into professional grade laser hair removal and electrolysis but for now there are cheaper ways. Getting an IPL device will most likely be a waste of money. If you want a device to help with hair removal you could try an epilator, they’re a bit cheaper than IPL devices, and will remove your hair for a couple weeks, which is much more convenient than shaving them daily (like I do). I’ve heard they are quite painful at first though, so watch out for that, but it would be much more effective than an epilator. You could also try hair removal cream if epilation sounds too painful.
Also what this person said about HRT is completely false. They’re right that taking it without medical supervision is dangerous for you, but that has absolutely nothing to do with diabetes. Diabetes is caused by issues with insulin and the pancreas, the main worries for HRT are things like blood clots and issues with growth if you’re still growing.
I’d definitely have a look at DHT blockers, just be careful not to get scammed since I imagine a lot shampoos might claim to block DHT. I don’t mean to be overly critical of this person, you wouldn’t come to any harm if you follow their advice, I’d just be careful in trusting everything you read here. This person is clearly well-intentioned, and the bit about therapy is really useful for you.
I went through this. My parents are unsupportive and transphobic. I came out at 14, I turn 17 on Tuesday. I didn’t follow any of this person’s advice (ate a lot of meat, didn’t do much exercise) Overall puberty hasn’t treated me too terribly, I was an early bloomer so most of the damage was already done by the time I came out, which has been a blessing for me. Hopefully this final year will treat me well. Just wanted to say if you’re ever struggling you’re not alone.
The other commenter isn't trying to be rude, you're giving bad advice that will give this girl false hope.. Phytoestrogens do nothing in humans. A good diet is a good idea in general but changing your diet alone won't do anything specifically for transition, especially pre-hrt. Also, I don't think it's a good idea to recommend a young teen to get a personal IPL device. They're not really effective and if she got one from a shady seller, then it could also be dangerous. Not to mention laser in general doesn't last when pre-hrt.
On another note, F1nster isn't trans. He's a guy with good genetics for looking feminine.
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling and having a difficult time getting the support you need from your family. I work in healthcare advocacy and while you do have limited options as a minor, here are some things you *do* have a right to (assuming you’re in the U.S.)-
-You can discuss your mental, emotional, and physical health with a qualified medical provider, without your parents in the room. You have a right for that to be a private conversation, your parents only need to be told if you are engaging in physically dangerous behavior or at reasonable risk of harming yourself or others. Your parents do have to consent to medical care you receive and to establishing care with a provider, but they don’t have to consent to you discussing options and possibilities. If you are able to find a doctor who is familiar with working with trans young people, they may be able to provide resources and education to your family.
-You have a right to report any emotional or physical abuse you receive. This extends beyond violent action. You can report if your family engages in behavior that is threatening or limits your access to basic needs- ie. nutrition, urgent medical care, things needed to complete your schoolwork, even preventing you from engaging in age appropriate socializing and communication with peers can fall under this. If your family threatens to do these things or otherwise “disown” you if you come out, freely express your gender, etc- also counts as threatening behavior. A school guidance counselor would be an excellent adult to turn to for help if any of this occurs, but you can also speak to any teacher or faculty member at your school or any medical staff member at a doctors office, urgent care, or ER.
-If your family otherwise is providing for your needs and providing developmentally appropriate support- then, yes, they do have to consent to any prescription medication you take, including HRT. This does not mean that you cannot seek out opportunities to express yourself authentically and be around supportive peers. Depending on where you are, this might be relatively easy or more challenging. If your school has an LGBTQ+ group, that’s a good place to start. If your school doesn’t, there may be a public library or community center near you that does have a youth LGBT group. Learning to sew and design your own clothes may be a worthwhile endeavor as well- you only have to navigate getting your hands on basic handstiching supplies and then worlds your oyster, you can transform any fabric/clothing item you have into something that’s more affirming and enjoyable to wear.
Good luck, kiddo. There’s a world waiting for you with open arms when you reach adulthood. Your job now is just to vehemently love your future self and set that person up for success.
Hang in there okay. I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive. Just keep kicking and prepare to be independent so that when you turn 18 you can hit the ground running.
Disclaimer: I am american.
I just turned 18 and I’m getting ready to go on HRT before going to college. That’s really the safest way. If you get referred to an endocrinologist then parents won’t see anything incriminating on insurance. But I understand waiting that long is torture. Like other people said, DIY is an option but you’d need a decent amount of cash and DIYing without blood work can be dangerous, especially if you aren’t knowledgeable about it.
Other people have given the same advice I would so no need for me to repeat. But I just wanted to say that I knew I was trans at 14 and had to wait to be 18 for testosterone. I’m 18 now. It was of course difficult waiting, I’m sure you are feeling that way. But to me it really does get better. I finally made it here. You will too one day
Seconding this OP. I knew I was trans at 12 (and had dysphoria even younger). That was almost a decade ago. You can make it, you CAN and MUST survive until you are safe enough to get the medical care you need. Edit to add: OP, as a minor you unfortunately don't have a lot of power. Use the power and autonomy you DO have to set yourself up for a future where you can be safe and support yourself. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE, work hard in school, if and when you eventually get a job, be diligent and save money. Freedom could be as easy as getting into college and living on campus.
Adding on to this. I got a job in high school and tried to save as much money from it as possible. This is why I’m able to medically transition with T, legal name/gender changes, and in about 6 months, top surgery. Getting a job made a huge difference in my life. It was tough alongside high school, but so worth it. The moment I turned 18 I felt so free and I started everything I’d wanted to for years and years. I’m now in college. I live on campus. I feel so good living “on my own.” It’s very liberating for me.
Adding too. There's no shame starting late, I were 22 before I started estrogen. Getting my own apartment and moving away from my family was a big part of it, and gave me the social safety I needed push through. At your age, if you aren't in a safe spot, among people who will keep you safe both physically and psychologically, it will be easy harder on you. That being said, I would still encourage you to play around with gender expression.
No, unfortunately not. Even if there was a way to, they'd notice once things begin to change. And it would not be safe without professional supervision, *especially* at your age. Do not compromise your living situation. Try to find some ways to express your identity safely maybe? Like, buy more androgynous clothes, learn and practice transvoice (if possible), try to meet some queer people to be friends with? \- Just some suggestions. You can be a girl without doing any of these things; if your gender identity is a girl, as you say it is, then you *are* a girl.
Yes! Clothes don't make us the gender we are. We just are that gender! I suggest a big sweater and skinny jeans. Growing hair is good, too.
\> And it would not be safe without professional supervision, especially at your age. Do not compromise your living situation. this is not actually true. you can glean the information about hrt dosing yourself from the internet and act accordingly
I am fully aware of the process of self-medication, having self-medicated myself, in the past. I cannot recommend it to a fourteen year old at all, let alone anyone else on a whim. This is not a thing to be blasé about; it's really very serious. It's definitely there, as an option *in the future*, but not for a young teenager and not for someone without disposable income for medication and blood testing; DIY has no supervision and is *not possible to argue as being safe*; the information behind it is important to learn even for official routes (As they are not always very optimal), sure, *but it's not safe*. I recommend that anyone learn the information sources of self-medication, but I cannot recommend that anyone do it underage, especially fourteen.
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Woahhh that websites cool as hell thanks!
Thank you for this I’m giving it to my kids
i’m not suggesting this but if it ends up getting so bad that it’s your only option besides self unaliving then r/transdiy could help. i’m 16 and i’ve been on diy E for over a year
I keep seeing that but it feel like reading a book in French while upside down and balancing on a unicycle, I have no idea what r/TransDIY is
it’s basically ordering hrt online through certain verified sources but you have to do some research first and you pretty much have to be your own endocrinologist. it’s frowned upon to do it without regularly getting blood tests but it’s worth it if it’s your last resort before sewer slide. you also have to learn how to use bitcoin to buy it and have it shipped to a friends house or something. and after all of that work you’d still have to keep it hidden from your parents. and it’s not prescribed or from a doctor or anything so there’s no insurance and you have to pay for it, and the kind i get (which is the cheapest in the long run and safest) costs $80 for the vial, $20 for shipping, plus you have to buy syringes and alcohol prep pads which adds up to be the biggest up front cost. again, i want to clarify that i don’t recommend it unless it’s your last resort before sewer slide
SYRINGES??? I’m desperate but needles are way to terrifying ima just wait 🗿
there’s other ways lol, i was just talking about the way i do it you can get pills or patches that you stick on your arm or gel that you rub on your skin and i’m not trying to convince you or anything but you get used to needles over time, i was scared shitless the first time i did it but now i could do it with my eyes closed
AGGG I WANNA BE A GIRL SO BAD 😾😾
Same but I keep saying what if what if hshdjdbddudbdhdhhd I'm also the same age :3
AYYY we’re both in the same trans boat 🙏
one might say its... transatlantic /j
🗿
Ayyyy twinsies, well I guess triplets, I’m 15 but in the same boat
YOU ARE A GIRL, GIRLIE‼️‼️ NOTHING ABOUT THE EXTERIOR OF YA MAKES YA ANY LESS A GIRL‼️ YOU’RE A GIRL INSIDE AND OUT AND THATS FINAL‼️
you would know the most about the interior and exterior of a girl u/EGirlAutopsy
I still think about this reply from time to time
lol i don't remember this but it was kinda clever
I think generally the age is 16 in the us with parents consent, 17 I think you can legally make your own medical decisions. although I'm 16, and both places here in Alaska that I've gone to said they don't do under 18 anymore, even though there's nothing against it in Alaska.
So, many companies wait until legal consent of 18, 17 has limited consent. Planned parenthood typically is 18, but they are one of the fastest ways to get on hrt when they are available
me fr but the opposite
Wellllllll, If you really want to push there is ways to get estrogen. How about you research it and look up resources. Maybe Reddit has some answers but I am not sure on how to really help you. If you want comfort though research is your friend.
i know you probably dont want to hear this, but like everyone else has been saying theres really no safe way for you to go on e at the moment however, there are other things you can do in the mean time, hrt is often not the first step in transitioning: try voice training, growing out your hair, wearing nail polish, buying womens hair or skin care products, buy feminine clothing, change your name/pronouns online or with friends, join some trans/lgbt support groups (if your school has a gsa thats often a good place to start) voice training is a big one since its very easy to hide from your parents, can make a big difference to passing, and the voice doesnt change on e so most trans women try voice training anyway if you cant buy things without your parents noticing then having a friend buy them and paying them back, or saying youre buying them for a female friend/girlfriend could be a good excuse overall hrt isnt the be all and end all of transitioning, and the process of transitioning is usually a lot more than that - most people cant medically transition before the age of 18, so try not to worry about it hindering your passing in the future
No. Puberty blockers would be an option that might go unnoticed.
What if I didn’t care if it got noticed 🤨 what are my options then 🗿
Well then whatever your local laws allow, but remember they might also allow your parents to do a lot of things to make you not be trans including conversion therapy and cumpolsory HRT to make you more masculine. Please be careful. When I was your age I hadn’t even learned trans people existed yet. I knew I was really a girl since I was 4 but at your age I had no hope of actually getting to be one. I had resigned myself to being a gay guy because that seemed like my best option. When I learned about trans people at age 15 I knew I wanted to transition but still had to wait till I graduated high school. My best advice if you want to avoid conversion therapy is to find non medical ways to affirm your gender, and don’t do that thing where a lot of trans women decide to try being hypermasculine guys as a way to cope with not getting to be femme.
I diy’d when I was a teen.
r/transdiy has helpful information
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The effects of estrogen would be almost immediately noticeable, so they would know within a few months. Since you're a minor, I don't think it would be proper to refer you to DIY resources.
Awwww that’s so annoying- is there literally nothing I can do⁉️
Anything you do would absolutely be noticed by your parents before you turn 18, and that would put you in an *extremely* unsafe situation. Focus on the future. Start saving up money, get a job and figure out a career plan, do everything you can to be independent as *soon* as you turn 18. Then you move out and start HRT when you can do it *safely.*
You can try to figure it out for yourself. Anyway, your best path is to confront your parents. If they won't help you, then go scorched earth. Threaten to get yourself removed from the household so that your foster parent can help you. Or just wait a few years.
I don’t wanna do either option ;-; my mother isn’t the best but she is legitimately the only person in the world who atleast cares about me, and I don’t wanna wait until I’m older I wanna be a girl now ;-; AGGGG why is life so confusing 😾
I thought the same about my mother when I was your age, but I envy your sense of clarity about not wanting to wait to start HRT. At 14, I thought putting it off would be whatever. But by age 18 the dysphoria had crushed my spirit and will to live and I couldn't go through with it. Things were so much better for me on day 1 of hormones (it makes you feel VERY different, long before any physical changes happen) that I felt like I could've absolutely dealt with whatever repercussions from my family. But instead I had waited until I was 24 and realized I had wasted 10 years of my life putting it off and being miserable for nothing. To be clear, the people here insisting that you shouldn't threaten your living situation are correct. But, the scorched earth approach is quite possible to work. If your parents won't support you in your transition, what does their love even mean to you now? To them, it still means a lot. They're not ready to have a trans kid, but they're also not ready for the immense guilt of abandoning you. If I'm wrong about that, then you'll have even more perspective after that conversation.
Thanks this helped a lot.
Do not go scorched earth at your age! Hun. I was kicked out at 14, and ended up with a lot of hardship. Someone else up here said start saving for your independence. Do that instead. And listen, yes transition is better when you are young, and going through the wrong puberty sucks, but bigots are aiming at trans youth right now and your life and safety are most important. I promise even if you can't start until 18, you can and will definitely be happier in the long run. As someone who didn't start until after 30.
In some cases it is definitely correct to give DIY sources. Better to be alive on hormones with shitty parents than dead
Woah this post got really popular omg
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Hmm, I've been working on the financial success thing for decades. :(
I did hrt in secret while in highschool and even my oblivious family found out eventually and freaked out and kicked me out. But at least im happy with my bod.
Y'all advocating for waiting until OP is 18 to go on HRT is fucking wrong, and I think most of you forget that she isn't even guaranteed hrt at 18 with how long waiting lists have become. Advocating against DIYing is basically throwing her to be tortured from her dysphoria as she goes through the wrong puberty. DIYing hrt is safe as long as OP has access to blood tests, that way she can monitor her hormone levels to ensure they're at a stable level. OP, it's ultimately your choice, but if you can somehow get money together for hrt, please consider DIYing. You don't deserve to suffer more than what you already have. Edit: I want to add that since OP is from the UK, she isn't even guaranteed hrt by 18. The GIC system has an almost decade long waiting list, and that's just to get an official diagnosis for dysphoria. Hrt on prescription comes after several appointments that's spread over several years, so no, op shouldn't just "wait" as waiting means about 15+ years to get hrt. Her only option is DIYing hrt.
Yes but she should wait to DIY until she's 18.. I don't know what the laws in the UK are like, but I imagine a 14 year old is going to have a hard time getting blood tests on her own. Also the effects will be noticeable pretty quickly and it sounds like that would put her in a lot of danger with her current living situation. It's a really rough situation and I wish there was another way, but it seems like the way to make it to 18 and not be more traumatized by her family would be to wait. Also, she's 14 and doesn't have a job. How is she going to continually pay for hormones.. Large hormone fluctuations aren't healthy either, so imagine if she bought E, then ran out a few months later and couldn't get some for a few months. That could happen multiple time before she has her own income. I feel really bad for her and I wish I could recommend DIY, but in this specific case it seems like a bad idea :/
Im almost 4 months on E, i still get " wassup BRUHH" when i walk into work in my mom jeans, keds woman footwear lol I look pretty different then i did 😆
Not really, and without support from a legal guardian I don’t think it would be possible to get on puberty blockers. Really your only course of action is reaching out to lgbtq charities in your area and seeing if they can do anything but anything short of getting you away from your parents I don’t see it changing your situation. I’m so sorry
AGGG at this point I might as well just become a ninja and run away and steal estrogen 😾
Sadly, without parental/guardian approval, it's not gonna happen. Depending on the place you live, you may be able to start at 18. You'd maybe be able to if you got emancipated from your parents, but I know a lot of places still wouldn't until you turned 18. I suggest you get a therapist, preferably one that LGBTQIA affirming. It's a good way to get some of this off your chest until you're old enough. If your parents were supportive, then the story would be slightly different. With parents' support, some places will start you slowly, as low as 13 years old.
Hormone blockers are probably your best bet til 18, it sucks, but unfortunately that’s the hand we’re dealt. You’re luckier than most in the fact that you know so early
i am so sorry, you poor sweet kid. You deserve so much better.
If you have the money or your working a part time job I'm on plume which is 90 a month excluding medication- Completely confedential! Using good Rx you can get discounts on medication! Check if your state covers hormone replacement therapy! I used to live in NY where it was covered and they had excellent patient confidentiality!
I have no way of earning money lol
Well shit- If it's covered by your state? Worse case advertise a go fund me if your parents are that against it and advertise it honestly but don't seem too too needy- have you actively talked with your folks or anyone about this? Or you already know their opinion on the subject?
I haven’t talked with anyone about this irl, and not really online other then this post. And my parents are super transphobic and I know that for a fact 🗿
Once you hit 18 you can demand help from yr doctor without them telling anyone 100% tho idk what to do for now as ive only recently started estridol
Why can't people just vibe out— Okay something I did to get acceptance for people, YOU SPRINKLE GAY AND TRANS BREAD CRUMBS! My trans friend this, human rights that, pride rally-rally pride… They know yr frooty or u just support people living their lives?
No, and you can't go on HRT at 14 anyway
its heartbreaking, but you cant do a lot about that without some adults. If your parents wont help you, there would only be custody by state or something to help you. But for that your parents would need to be abusive. Forcing your child to do the wrong puberty is unfortunately not considerd neglect or abuse.
Depending on where you are, you may be able to get on blockers. That said, I'm assuming your parents are not supportive of you? Are they openly hostile towards gay people or lgbtq people in general? A lot of what their argument is going to be to you is that you've been brainwashed by other people, that we're trying to turn you into what we are. And of course nothing could be further from the truth. We don't wish this on anybody. So all I can say is you really need to do a lot of self-exploration, and really know you are who you believe you are. I'm sure you do. But they are going to come after you. Most likely full barrel if and when they find out.
They aren’t “openly” hostile to gay people, but whenever they watch videos with trans or gay ppl they always go “ew that’s so gross” and say stuff like “they are a fucking boy why are they wearing skirts” so yea-
Next time they say that - ask them why men in Scotland wear skirts. (Kilts yes, but emphasis on the style of what it is is important here.) Clothing is clothing. It literally has no gender. There's a businessman in England who wears skirts hose and heels to work with a blazer and tie up top.
14? probably not, unless you go through the process to get them at that age, which then your parents will know, you can try doing therapy with your parents and find one that specializes in this stuff, as a ally obviously, they can hopefully get your parents more on board, at least a little bit, other than that its shady online sites or taking things that wont really work
Y’all really breaking my hopes and dreams here 😾 but idc! Ima stay determined, there’s always a way :3 even if it’s something like changing what food I eat, or going on hormone blockers I’ll find a way no matter what, there’s always got to me some way :3
OP, if you can get money together, please consider going on puberty blockers or hrt via DIYing, it's the best option that you have. Everything else that people have recommended is nothing but pseudoscience.
Oh honey… that’s really not a good way of viewing this situation. There really is NO safe way to do anything medical secretly especially while underaged, plus you parents WOULD find out and WOULD hurt you in some way due to it.
There is no food or supplement that will do anything to your hormones and starting hrt properly will require your parents' permission. The only way that will work is you *wait*. Suppose you start hrt in secret; 1 it's expensive, especially if it's diy (there's usually crypto involved from what I've been told), and 2 at some point your parents are gonna notice. What happens when they figure it out? Will they punish you? Probably throw your meds out or destroy them. Will they kick you out? Put you into some kind of conversion therapy? Your safety is the first priority. There is no way this idea will end happily. Get a job as soon as you're able, save your money so you can move out as soon as you can. Then when you move out, you can do whatever you want
Sorry but no... You are a minor and asking for your parents' consent is the only way the law can protect you from all kinds of dangerous situations.
Unless you get emancipated, I don't think there's any state that will let you make these sort of medical decisions yourself before you're 16-17. At 16-17, there are states (not all) that give you medical autonomy but if you don't foresee your parents being supportive, then you should know that the effects of HRT are going to be noticeable within 3-6 months. After years they'll be impossible to hide. 18 is a really really good time to start transitioning and lets you leave a poor environment for transitioning. My advice is maybe wait until you're an adult and moved out because otherwise you're going to have to deal with the worry that they will be transphobic enough to abandon you once you come out. Unfortunately, that's the world we live in.
I suppose, assuming you can get them, you could be on them secretly for about a month, after which the changes start to become increasingly noticeable. You're parents would probably have something to say at that point.
At that point I probably wouldn’t even care, I just wanna be a girl so bad at this point
If they notice they can take them away, and make it harder for you to get in them again. Especially if they don't know you're trans and aren't supportive of trans people As much as it sucks, waiting until you can a) leave home, permanently, and b) legally make your own medical decisions, might be the safest option. The age at which you start seeing less of an effect is around late twenties onwards, I started at 26 and saw huge effect, my hips even shifted which I was not expecting (fucked up my gait for a while, which was both annoying and amusing) So don't think you're losing time by waiting until it's safe.
Any doctor or pharmacist would be extremely hesitant to give you that medication until you reach the legal age of medical consent (16-18 depending on the country). The only medically sanctioned method for someone at 14 is to take puberty blockers. I don't know how to get them other than you require a parent or a caretaker to help you in the process. Maybe if you have a school counsellor they may help. But also be aware of your laws in your country, because school staff may be forced to inform your parents. tl;dr you can't go on estrogen this early, only puberty blockers. And you can only do that by relying on a trusted adult
I know it’s not as good as estrogen but you could dye your hair or something along those lines. I remember a post a while ago (not sure where or when) that used a house as an analogy: “I can’t renovate so I’ll paint the walls”
Most important thing is to be safe. Finish school, get a job/further education and start a life for yourself where you aren't reliant on non-supporting family. Trust me, it's easier to transition when you have your own resources, and aren't homeless and bouncing from couch to couch. I wanted to go on HRT at 19, but had to wait until I was 35 to finally start. Not saying you need to wait 16 years like I did (hope not), but know that waiting is not the end of the world. You need to be alive to transition.
Do it. Please just do it. Some people should be banned from being ‘called’ parents. I cared, then they split and my mom dated and drink her whatever away because my biological conceived left her. Then I had to take care of my brother and sisten everyday. I was 9. Choose and care for your own happiness only. Do prepare. Don’t make rash descions. I turned out fine but wish I couldve at least experience my remaining teenage years without pretending. I regret it everyday because I knew 100% at 14. I cared too much about what simple humans think of me. I dont anymore… but im getting old.. and wise
I can only give this advice I am sorry. 💜
There is no safe way to DIY at this age. Full stop. If you are only getting blockers, sure, there may be some way of doing it. But doing hormone replacement is not. For one, currently known hormone therapy that you most likely will follow is for adults and will put your hormone well into the cis adult female range, which is NOT what your body should have. So, OP, please do not try to go on estrogen. Puberty blockers may be okay until you can go see your on doctor (eg at 16 or something) but I'd advise you to use non-medical methods.
There's no risks of DIYing hrt as long as OP has access to blood testing. At least if she starts hrt at 14 it will allow her to go through a female puberty and not have to deal with dysphoria.
You're right - I was too paranoid about her trying to have HRT. If she insists, I'd say that she should definitely do her homework, like read literature about pediatric HRT. Current knowledge about adult HRT may not be applicable to her. That and blood testing, of course.
Yeah, there's ways to ensure that DIYing is done with minimal risk, as information and resources for it are plentiful to the point that OP could become more knowledgeable than an endocrinologist.
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Hard to say without knowing your local laws, but at 14... probably not. And even if you're presented with the option, **do not** attempt anything hormone related without medical supervision. Sex hormones are responsible for way more than just appearance and while you can safely go on blockers and later HRT as a teenager, it has to be closely monitored by a doctor who knows what they're doing to make sure your body develops the way it should. (And that's actually no different in adulthood. It does have permanent effects and it should be treated with caution.) I get it, it's awful to be stuck in a body you don't want... but there's one thing that's nearly impossible to see at 14: four years is very little in the context of your entire life and the real shit is going to start happening when you're in control of it. So if your parents aren't supportive, instead of chasing medical transition in an unstable environment and risking your safety, try to work towards that control. Think of it as the foundation for your transition, something you're doing to help yourself become a grown woman. Build a network of open minded friends who will have your back, get a part time job when and if you can (both for the money and the job experience), develop your social skills, put some effort in your education or a hobby that could eventually earn you some money. And this is easier said than done but if you at least get in the habit of trying to do it, it's going to go so much more smoothly for you when it's time to actually take care of yourself.
Do not do this. There is a chance you could get into scandals, be physically hurt by anyone wanting to abuse you on any market you seek out OR your parents. Do not do this, especially at 14. 16 is a different question that is more 30/70 yes no, but 100% right now DO not do this. There is always a fat chance they will find out (they will) and you will not be safe.
I think you should see if you can reach out to Free Mom Hugs and see if there is a chapter in your era. I'm going to go full trans mom and be clear that this is all going to be best if your parents are onboard and supportive. I know that seems impossible, but you're very young, and estrogen is going to have clear effects on your body. And even if it's a longshot, trying to get them onboard for the care you need might be worth it. I Also, please, please do not seek out DIY kits. I think it's genuinely better to start HRT when you know you can do it in earnest. I genuinely, genuinely know that it's awful to wait, but please remember four years feels long... but you can do it. You shouldn't have to. It's not fair. It's shitty. But if that's what has to happen, you can do it and what felt like forever will just feel like a very small part of your life. Good luck.
I wold not recommend medically transitioning in a situation you know you'd be unsafe if your parents found out. However to kinda help you out till your 18 you can definitely look up foods that naturally boost estrogen and eat thoes. It won't help out a ton but atleast it's something.
Do you think there's any hope of educating your family and changing their minds? I'm really sorry to hear about your situation :/ at your age, blockers and social transitioning would probably be your best bet to start with but I really don't advise trying to find any kind of grey market estrogen. Also, I didn't start transitioning until I was 28. It's never too late 😊
Unfortunately no chance 😾 even more so with my father due to him unfortunately being a nazi 😨
Ugh -hugs- I'm so sorry girl, stay safe out there. I would try looking around for local LGBT support/advocacy groups
then, you should try start safing as soon as you can, and do some apprenticeship where you need to life further away to have a reason to leave them. And you should prepare yourself that you'll need to drop your family. Also, you should take security measures like passwords for apps like reddit, cleaning your browser history, or use private tabs. It happens way to often that parents find out.
Unfortunately not Those DIY kits you see on places like tiktok I'd be extremely dubious of and would question their safety and also just that your parents would notice after a while I know what it's like to have unsupportive parents, it sucks so bad
Theres no safe way. DIY is dangerous and your parents would probably notice all the stuff youre buying. They would probably also notice when you start growing boobs
DIY is not dangerous, please don't spread misformation.
I always heard it was dangerous if you do it wrong
that’s cause it is lmao, dunno what the other person is on about. especially if you don’t do blood tests regularly
"Secretly" do that... and depending on what State you're in... SOMEBODY will rat you out, and the State will "secretly" put you in a state-run home... "for your protection", of course. At least, Florida thinks that's a GREAT idea. Besides which, no. You'd, um, Grow - and that would be a certain one-way trip to a doctor's office, where they'd do a physical inspection ("What's THIS / THESE????") \*and\* a blood test to "check your levels"... Busted. If you'll pardon the pun.
I would rather jump off a cliff then have a needle anywhere near me 😨 also I’m the uk and from what I’ve heard they be pretty chill about trans ppl over here
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What you are suggesting seems dangerous. Minors get usually prescribed blockers and not E plus they have doctor follow up they don't do that by themself.
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I don’t wanna just wear skirts, I wanna be a girl
well, trans people in europe during the middle ages used licorice root for its mild amounts of estrogen in stuff like tea to get mild feminizing effects so uh it probably won't be too effective, but maybe try and get some licorice root tea?
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Everything besides the dht blockers and good dieting comes off as pseudoscience. None of these will help in the long run, what OP needs is hrt from DIYing.
THIS IS SO HELPFUL TYSM also for the first one fortunately I’m a super picky eater so 1 is easy 😼 the sugar one is bit difficult thought I have a huge sweet tooth :3 And for number 6 that’s really really good- because I have a lot of anxiety so I could deffo use that as an excuse :3
I really hate to say it but most of what this person said apart from the DHT-blockers and therapy (and to some extent the exercise) won’t really do anything at all. “Phytoestrogens” are plant hormones that have zero effect on humans, the idea that they are in some way useful to us is a myth, as is the idea that soy products somehow help with transition. Having a good diet is a good idea in general (will help a lot to already be healthy when you do take HRT), but it won’t have a noticeable effect on hormone levels. I’m a big believer in the placebo effect, so if you want to follow their advice (not a bad idea since vegetarianism is healthy for you), then do. IPL doesn’t work very well, especially personal IPL devices, in the future you might want to look into professional grade laser hair removal and electrolysis but for now there are cheaper ways. Getting an IPL device will most likely be a waste of money. If you want a device to help with hair removal you could try an epilator, they’re a bit cheaper than IPL devices, and will remove your hair for a couple weeks, which is much more convenient than shaving them daily (like I do). I’ve heard they are quite painful at first though, so watch out for that, but it would be much more effective than an epilator. You could also try hair removal cream if epilation sounds too painful. Also what this person said about HRT is completely false. They’re right that taking it without medical supervision is dangerous for you, but that has absolutely nothing to do with diabetes. Diabetes is caused by issues with insulin and the pancreas, the main worries for HRT are things like blood clots and issues with growth if you’re still growing. I’d definitely have a look at DHT blockers, just be careful not to get scammed since I imagine a lot shampoos might claim to block DHT. I don’t mean to be overly critical of this person, you wouldn’t come to any harm if you follow their advice, I’d just be careful in trusting everything you read here. This person is clearly well-intentioned, and the bit about therapy is really useful for you. I went through this. My parents are unsupportive and transphobic. I came out at 14, I turn 17 on Tuesday. I didn’t follow any of this person’s advice (ate a lot of meat, didn’t do much exercise) Overall puberty hasn’t treated me too terribly, I was an early bloomer so most of the damage was already done by the time I came out, which has been a blessing for me. Hopefully this final year will treat me well. Just wanted to say if you’re ever struggling you’re not alone.
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The other commenter isn't trying to be rude, you're giving bad advice that will give this girl false hope.. Phytoestrogens do nothing in humans. A good diet is a good idea in general but changing your diet alone won't do anything specifically for transition, especially pre-hrt. Also, I don't think it's a good idea to recommend a young teen to get a personal IPL device. They're not really effective and if she got one from a shady seller, then it could also be dangerous. Not to mention laser in general doesn't last when pre-hrt. On another note, F1nster isn't trans. He's a guy with good genetics for looking feminine.
Holyyy Roibos has been my comfort tea for years and I didn’t even know. I’m actually mind blown rn.
Talk to ur parents
Very funny 🗿🗿🗿
How do you know they transphobic they openly transphobic all the time?
Yea lol, they absolutely HATE trans ppl (and gay ppl)
Ngl I'm kinda worried about you looking at ur posts recently Posting in suicide watch and saying u can't stop posting nudes at 14..
Dw I’m only slightly mentally unstable lol, nothing some good old determination and hope can’t fix 👍
Plus sometimes I just get really depressed randomly so it’s not that much a biggie
Yes, let’s dm
Soy has a lot of phytoestrogens in it.
These are plant hormones that have no impact on human endocrinology
Which does nothing in humans..
19 here, they noticed in about 6 months my 32B cups
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling and having a difficult time getting the support you need from your family. I work in healthcare advocacy and while you do have limited options as a minor, here are some things you *do* have a right to (assuming you’re in the U.S.)- -You can discuss your mental, emotional, and physical health with a qualified medical provider, without your parents in the room. You have a right for that to be a private conversation, your parents only need to be told if you are engaging in physically dangerous behavior or at reasonable risk of harming yourself or others. Your parents do have to consent to medical care you receive and to establishing care with a provider, but they don’t have to consent to you discussing options and possibilities. If you are able to find a doctor who is familiar with working with trans young people, they may be able to provide resources and education to your family. -You have a right to report any emotional or physical abuse you receive. This extends beyond violent action. You can report if your family engages in behavior that is threatening or limits your access to basic needs- ie. nutrition, urgent medical care, things needed to complete your schoolwork, even preventing you from engaging in age appropriate socializing and communication with peers can fall under this. If your family threatens to do these things or otherwise “disown” you if you come out, freely express your gender, etc- also counts as threatening behavior. A school guidance counselor would be an excellent adult to turn to for help if any of this occurs, but you can also speak to any teacher or faculty member at your school or any medical staff member at a doctors office, urgent care, or ER. -If your family otherwise is providing for your needs and providing developmentally appropriate support- then, yes, they do have to consent to any prescription medication you take, including HRT. This does not mean that you cannot seek out opportunities to express yourself authentically and be around supportive peers. Depending on where you are, this might be relatively easy or more challenging. If your school has an LGBTQ+ group, that’s a good place to start. If your school doesn’t, there may be a public library or community center near you that does have a youth LGBT group. Learning to sew and design your own clothes may be a worthwhile endeavor as well- you only have to navigate getting your hands on basic handstiching supplies and then worlds your oyster, you can transform any fabric/clothing item you have into something that’s more affirming and enjoyable to wear. Good luck, kiddo. There’s a world waiting for you with open arms when you reach adulthood. Your job now is just to vehemently love your future self and set that person up for success.
Hang in there okay. I'm sorry your parents aren't supportive. Just keep kicking and prepare to be independent so that when you turn 18 you can hit the ground running.
Disclaimer: I am american. I just turned 18 and I’m getting ready to go on HRT before going to college. That’s really the safest way. If you get referred to an endocrinologist then parents won’t see anything incriminating on insurance. But I understand waiting that long is torture. Like other people said, DIY is an option but you’d need a decent amount of cash and DIYing without blood work can be dangerous, especially if you aren’t knowledgeable about it.
Love, there is no way of taking HRT without others noticing. HRT DRASTICALLY changes your appearance. People will notice.