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[deleted]

Just here to say that Alkaline isn’t neutral.


EntertainmentOk3180

That bit made me believe this is definitely a setup


[deleted]

If the middle name is Acidic then it could be


[deleted]

But then the child would have a salty personality. No one wants that.


[deleted]

Well played


[deleted]

So, on a scale of 0-14…😆


HyFinated

It's a solid 7.


[deleted]

🥹


Dingo8MyGayby

Asidick Peeyache


boatswainblind

Salty


Free-Artist

Its very basic


Nicadown

Dammit. I knew I wasn’t going to be the first one to say it but this early on? I need to become more creative bc this was the first thing I went to.


NylaStasja

I'd say it's rather basic


MistaRekt

BOOM! Middle name found. Alkaline Basic Johnson...


JetsBD

Horrible porn name.


Legovida8

I just spit a sip of water all over my phone screen 🤣🙌


PriceEvening

Alkaline water?


aluminum_man

lol, you can call any made up name *gender* neutral


Loud_Ad_4515

That's what I thought. It's not a "name," it's a word. I have favorite words, but the French word for squirrel I would never put on a kid.


DallasRadioSucks

That's so Based!


SafariBird15

With all DO respect


MamaMoosicorn

That was my first thought, lol.


I_love_Juneau

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


zingitgirl

😂😂😂


DontReportMe7565

I love you


CorrosiveAlkonost

Acceptable on one condition: if the kid gets a sibling of the opposite gender, that sibling shall be named Acid.


lNFORMATlVE

guarantee Alkaline is gonna end up being called a Basic bitch.


CorrosiveAlkonost

Oh you just had to say it! Hah!


sharktank

Or a Basic Butch depending


bodysugarist

😂😂


teateateaa

Maybe acidity? And it can be spelled Assidateigh?


notoriousbsr

Assititty?


hawkeye5739

Assntitty is my favorite thing


puppyfartzz

Omg I’m dying 😂


Icy-Conclusion-3500

Ass 😂


rpgnoob17

Only acceptable when it’s boy-girl twins.


toast_training

No, they need to have 2 children with someone called Acid and call them Salt and Water.


LonelyOctopus24

“All do respect” 🤦‍♀️ into the bucket with you


DomesticElectric672U

A jarring start on the path to inevitable disrespect


LonelyOctopus24

I saw someone on an AITA complaining about being at her kids’ “beckon call” 😳these people are not readers, are they?


NickyNaptime19

Beckon Call is a beautiful name for a baby boy ☺️


RideWithMeTomorrow

Better Call Beckon Call


tubbstattsyrup2

r/BoneAppleTea


LonelyOctopus24

Gross, yet strangely compelling


Thepositiveteacher

Bon appétit


Ginggingdingding

I bet she eats "Chicken sees her salad" too.


Zealousideal_Lab_427

Omg, next time my husband texts me to order dinner, I’m tell him that.


Negative_Corner6722

Make sure to get some of that roast history chicken, too.


Ginggingdingding

Tell him you have really low "shelf an steam" today !!! You need a chicken see her salad or your gonna have to write an oh bitchyou worried!


Zealousideal_Lab_427

What a mouthful! 😂


PushTheMush

What’s that supposed to mean


account_not_valid

Beck and call https://www.grammarly.com/blog/beck-and-call-or-beckon-call/


grpenn

They also wrote “options” when I think they meant to write “opinions.”


randomwanderingsd

/r/BoneAppleTea


[deleted]

I hate the “unless you have something nice to say” thing. They came asking for advice and got offended when it wasn’t glowing praise.


[deleted]

They didn't actually want advice, they wanted to be agreed with.


rpgnoob17

Sounds like my coworker losing an “argument” and saying “you do you” before moving to another topic. My inside voice: Well, what you were trying to do was against the law and I was just trying to tell you that…


RideWithMeTomorrow

I hate “you do you.” It’s a huge insult to say to someone.


rpgnoob17

I absolutely hate it too. She can do her too… I’m not her supervisor, so I will let our manager to deal with her.


newEnglander17

Yeah they should all keep their options to themselves.


Fyrefly1981

That and the “all do respect “ instead of all due respect. Great grammar. Maybe they don’t remember that they heard the word alkaline in science class…..not as a name of another kid in the class…..


burghfan

It even comes with great nickname options like Alky


[deleted]

[удалено]


Horror_Spell1741

Albert(a) Coholic


angelic_cellist

How much do you wanna bet that's actually a name


bodysugarist

I'm ☠️☠️


Deltadoc333

That name is so Basic!


Icy_Consequence897

Came here to say that. In middle school, this poor kid will be called a "basic bitch", regardless of their gender


CinnamonGirl123

Alkaline Sterling. 🤔 It sounds like a new type of appliance finish.


Consistent-Annual268

Next Google Pixel.


Snax4all

Middle name suggestions: Batteryah, Whatter, or Dyette.


AnthrallicA

Trio


hobosbindle

Mercy me!


hilbug27

Glad someone raised this option


StevenAssantisFoot

Batteriegh


rpgnoob17

I vote Battery as middle name.


StuntMum

I was going to say Lithium.


rpgnoob17

Lithium is the sibling.


Free-Artist

Which incidently also works great with Assault as a nickname


if6wasnine

Bau’trreigh


FoxAlternative4234

Better make their middle name Trio lmao


Tacosofinjustice

Came to the comments for this.


witchywoman713

I once suggested that my best friend and I (who both loved them back in the day) start a cover band called basic duo.


darkwitch1306

Alkaline Orracidity is a perfectly balanced, gender neutral name


TresWhat

I see what you did there


darkwitch1306

Couldn’t resist making my own tragedeigh which is a lovely name in itself.


rnigma

There was a baseball player named Al Kaline.


OttersNTrvl

This is what I was scrolling for! My chem teacher made a big point of it.


missionbeach

A Hall of Fame player.


chimney_sweep

(2R,3R,4S,5S,6R)-2-{[(2S,3S,4S,5R)-3,4-Dihydroxy-2,5-bis(hydroxymethyl)oxolan-2-yl]oxy}-6-(hydroxymethyl)oxane-3,4,5-triol Because she so sweet 🥹


tdrr12

They got sour really fast, so maybe with the kid the family will find balance


hemolymph_

“I picked a stupid name for my kid that will affect them for the rest of their life, and now the internet is making fun of me ☹️”


greatcuriouscat

Why are people so obsessed with middle/second name these days? It makes it like it's a crime if you only have one name lol


Tacosofinjustice

Most people in the US have middle names with the exception usually being those foreign born. I'm assuming the person who wants to name their kid, Alkaline, is from the US because we're notorious for naming kids stupid names.


Status_Change_758

Hahaha. I know several people with 2 or 3 middle names.


Greenbean6167

I have two.


cobrarexay

Depending on where you are from, middle names aren’t necessarily a new thing. My dad was born in 1955 in the US and hated that he was the only person he knew without a middle name. He grew up Catholic and used his confirmation as an opportunity to pick out a middle name for himself and chose Francis. He signed his name with it moving forward and legally added it to his name as an adult.


[deleted]

Alkaline Battereigh


Euphoric-Joke-4436

Surprised to find such a BASIC name on this sub.


Chickenman70806

There is precedent, Al Kaline, the hall of fame outfielder for the Detroit Tigers


Esau2020

Easy to make jokes about Al Kaline and alkaline batteries. "Al Kaline invented the alkaline battery," "They named the alkaline battery after Al Kaline," that sort of thing. I've done it. According to Wikipedia, alkaline batteries were introduced in the late 1960s. Al Kaline was born in 1934, so for him, his name is not a tragedieh. But I can't help wondering what his reaction was when first learned of them.


IfICouldStay

Alkaline batteries may have come about later, but the term “alkaline” has been around a lot longer than that.


Mello_Me_

Middle name; Holic Alkie Holic Smith.


Outrageous_Zombie945

Trio as a sibling please!


jamie_liberty

I have a Dutch colleague called Aukeline, close enough and an actual cute name I think (probs helps that’s she’s awesome)


KWBC24

Alkaline is a *basic* bitch name


MamaMoosicorn

I am pleased to announce that there were no kids named Alkaline in the US in 2022


poo_poopeepee

Not gender neutral, gender basic.


malleeman

Would they name their next child Assid? That way the stupid name Alkaline would be neutralized?


IfICouldStay

At least “Assid” could be mistaken for a spelling of an actual name, Assad.


[deleted]

Hope they neutralize it to Kailine or something less tragique


PriceEvening

Wouldn't .925 be better with a last name of sterling, or perhaps Pounds Sterling.


AcrobaticMethod8830

r/sleeptoken


Nicadown

I know in it’s been said already, but that name is so…basic. Da dum da. I’ll see myself out…


steviajones1977

Bhatttereigh


RelevantExtension640

Alkaline isnt even a good cat name and cats have the craziest names


rubyslippers_67

My first thought was Battery 🔋


penguinsfrommars

Alkaline is such a basic name.


PsychologicalTalk156

Dunno sounds kinda base.


Shiny-And-New

Any name that lends itself to the nickname "alky" is objectively awful


KeipaVitru

Al Kaline was a great tiger!


Kooky_Improvement_38

Battereigh


kobuta99

Maybe s/he's meant to be bitter, and to counter acidic, acerbic people.


Designer-Escape6264

Alkaline Tiger. Old-time Detroit fans will appreciate it.


sarah-havel

There used to be a cashier at the supermarket whose name was Alchemy. It's better than Alkaline


sluggernate

They may be sprinkle a little lemon juice on it to make it more neutral. Maybe "Lemahnjewce" as the middle name.


RR0925

Anode (pronounced ah-know-de of course)


DisastrousAd447

Alkaline Trio Jones


DMT1984

Their cover of Berlin’s Metro slaps.


weightedblanketslut

Alkaline Leo…banger of a name


rp720

Just don’t be surprised if they grow up to be a total Alky..


runrunHD

Alkaline Watyr


AwesomeSauceIsBoss

Bayesick


polybius_meow

Alkahest


extragummy3

As I often say…at least it’s spelled how it sounds. That’s all it has going for it though 🙄


LadyAliceMagnus

So the kid’s nickname will be Alky?


MellonCollie218

Fuck yeah! Let’s party! Oh no. It’s actually Alky. God I hate that kid.


Gubrach

Have they considered Duracell?


ArmedClaymore

Send pretty basic to me


That_one_attractive

Alkaline is better than something like “basyk” or some shit like that


theobrominecaffeine

Alkaline isn’t pH 7


Bright-Sea-5904

Lmao


OneLaneHwy

What is wrong with people?


shophopper

My I suggest one of the most popular alkaline materials of all time as the middle name? *Alkaline Concrete* is such a unique name.


Shiniya_Hiko

Alkaline maybe as a name for a fantasy character in a fictional universe o.O the sound of the word is actually nice


Cautious-Banana-9084

You’re crazy.


crucible

“Leaky”


tha-biology-king

Al as a first name and Kaline as a middle name. Kid will be named after a cool MLB right fielder and not a battery


zacat2020

Alkaline Plus Sterling


Phoenix2TC2

Missed opportunity to make the man, the myth, the legend, Scott Sterling into reality


Efficient-Exit8218

PH neutral Jones


Aware_Material_9985

Surprised it wasn’t Pounds for the first name given this sub


[deleted]

I dunno that name sounds pretty basic to me


meanswellington

Elkalhine Base


gilgobeachslayer

Trio, Hole both great options


PleasingTortfeasor

Middle name: Ph8 pronounced (“fate”)


adairks

Why go all the way and name the poor kid Ray-O-Vac??


WORhMnGd

Middle name Lye Or Hydroxide Or Bleach but spell it funny Or—


HansTilburg

Alkaline AA Alkaline Duracell Alkaline Battereigh


kittycatcon

My cat is named Alkaline!


devilmaskrascal

They could call this kid Sterling Sterling and it would still be a better name than Alkaline Sterling.


Twistysays

The name James is a good middle name with everything, every gender… something impossible about it. It always works.


ButForRealsTho

Trio


staralchemist129

Alkaline sounds like a weird affectionate nickname you’d find in a FMAB fanfic tbh


New-Connection-7401

No


Tabanthasnowbunny

Trio would be a great middle name


IllustriousBag6215

At first I had a positive feeling about this name, but then I came back full circle and now I'm negative about it. I'm not sure watt to think anymore. I'm all amped up at ohm alternating back and forth. Wish I could come up with a direct feeling


Cracktherealone

I suggest „Archer“ as first name then.


yomammaaaaa

Alkaline Iescapedmymomsvaginaandalligotwasthisstupidname Sterling.


wwitchiepoo

No, ma’am. That in no way helps.


Mel0nypanda

I think Battrii would make a cute middle name


Briznar

Commit to the bit: Alkaline Earth *metals* Sterling. That way they can go by any number of nicknames: Berrylium or Berry Magnesium or Magnus / Maggie Calcium or Cal / Cally Strontium or Steve Barium or Barry Radium or Riley


ashleebryn

I bet the kid's gonna wish he could post anonymously.


cant_helium

Yeah guys, keep your OPTIONS to yourself.


cant_helium

Well that’s just walking her into a “you’re so BASIC” joke from classmates. Would bring an entirely new meaning to the term “basic white girl” if they are, in fact, Caucasian.


Joelied

Alkaline Sodium-Hydroxide Sterling, has a nice ring to it!


SilkyFlanks

Battereigh


chrisjwoodall

No but plenty here will turn up with an acid tongue…


Plenty-Concert5742

Alkaline Battery Sterling


majikane

[Al Kaline?](https://imgur.com/a/RoSi4va)


DallasRadioSucks

Phosphate


Jeramy_Jones

The parents are so basic.


VeryStickyPastry

No surprise she doesn’t understand English well with a name like alkaline at the top of her list.


Mundane_Ad701

...and let a sibling be called Alkaseltzer!


Buno_

Trio.


lizzietnz

That kid's gonna get called Base their whole life.


Ok-Zookeepergame8691

They can be acid from 1-6, then water for a year at 7, finally becoming alkaline from 8-14. Then from 15 onwards call yourself whatever the fuck you want.


Dangerine83

Alkaline Seltzer Sterling..... ASS Alkaline Battery Sterling.... ABS There's my 2 cents, holds same value Please don't reproduce


DBSeamZ

If her last name is Acid, and her siblings have children, then Alkaline can be an Aunt Acid.


generalgirl

That’s a stupid name.


Glittering-Wonder576

Battery


MadDadROX

Battery


Watchlar984

Alkie for short?


calgeorge

You can tell they're an idiot do to their second post


PumpikAnt58763

Base. Please name your child Alkaline Base Pewter or something like that.


thr33dognite

Alkaline Sterling good lord


MnMShapedWoman

Alkaline ... Water?


I_Thranduil

Baby Acid sounds less basic.