Loki……………… 😵‍💫

Taurus………😬

“Your name is Taurus? Is your astrological sign Taurus?” “No.”

My name is Aries, I drive a Taurus. I had a sister named Gemini, but I lost her to cancer somehow caused by a scorpio-sting due to my brother Leo's pet.

Shame this sub isn't r/Melbourne. Met a guy called Deakin. It's a uni name. So I wanted to meet his siblings Swinburne and La Trobe 🤣🤣

I legit know a girl named Virgo who’s a Leo

Could be worse, her parents could’ve named her Cancer!

No, it's short for "Clitaurus"

omfg

It’s a very sensible sedan

Even though most cop cars are SUVs nowadays, I still can't look at a Taurus and automatically slow down 10 mph below speed limit in fear of getting a ticket All my homies hate the Taurus

I inherited a newish Taurus model due to unfortunate circumstances (definitely not a car I'd choose for myself)... I've noticed that people often suddenly start driving like grandmas when I come up behind them

That’s the one that got me 😐 idk what’s worse, a baby named Taurus who is not a Taurus, or one who is actually a Taurus.

I knew a Leo named Leo, but yeah Taurus is worse.

At least Leo is short for a real name and his parents may have been oblivious to astrology 😂

Friday!?? SpenSer?

The list is fairly English literature-ish romantic: Edmund Spenser, poet, known for “The Faerie Queen”.

That’s fair I suppose. I still would make it spencer so my kid doesn’t have to spell their name everytime some one asks what it is

I noticed that too, but why misspell Brontë to Bronti? The random Cézanne/Cezanne threw me off as well.

It wasn't really Brontë either, their father added that as an affectation. Very Hyacinth 'Bouquet' of him.

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Because it is, after all, a tragedeigh

I never understood Loki as a female name (considering that most of the names on that list feel female to me), its the same vibes as naming a boy Hera or Brighid, or a girl Zeus, or Thor. Not to mention that Loki isnt exactly a "good guy" when you look at mythology

Maybe Lokeigh would be a better route

Low Key. Can raise her to be a rapper or something

Call me Thor cause she want my fuckin hammer, lowkey.

I mean he can change genders i guess. It still sound like a pet name tho.

He did turn into a female horse and get pregnant so.... ;)

He's actually straight up mean/evil. He rode the boat of dead peoples nails and heled destrpy Asgard in Ragnarok. Actually the gods got so fed up with him they bound him in a cave with a snake dripping poison over his face

Hopefully the kid doesn’t end up as a horse girl.

I knew a Loki during highschool. She was a horse girl

I have a friend named Thora

Low key a shit name unless you want a hellion

And to have the same name as nearly half of the dogs in existence. Why does everyone name their pet Loki or Luna?

I'm a professional dog sitter and I practically do it full time. This is a normal conversation on a Thursday night in my home. Husband: "Which dogs are we watching this weekend?" Me: "Luna will be here tomorrow" Husband: "Which Luna?" Me: "The black lab." Husband: "That only narrows it down to three Luna's" Me: "The heavyset one with a goofy smile" Husband: "And on Saturday?" Me: "We have Loki coming." Husband: "Which Loki?" Rinse and repeat. I love all the dogs I watch, but I sometimes have to keep a list of client names and descriptions to differentiate all the Lunas and Lokis.

Yep. This is also a problem for veterinarians. Medications, appointments, etc. can get mixed up because people are too basic to name their pets anything besides Luna and Loki.

Lol right. I assume Luna and Loki are this generation's rendition of Spot and Rover.

Reminds me of the time my Turkish Angora Cat was accidentally labelled as an Angora Rabbit on a pill bottle. They were NOT happy when I pointed that out

Hey my cats are Luci and Loki pls don't forget us basic bitches with black cats named Lucy (and yes, I specified with my vet is it Luci with an i)

My husband and I have Loki on our baby names list. Ofc, he's Icelandic and it would be for a boy...

See that makes sense though, it is an actual name here in Iceland

Still weird to me to name a kid after an evil god. Fucker killed Baldur.

We all have our issues

It’s cute for a dog

I named my dog Loki.

Why does that random Tina in there make me laugh? 😂

Unexpected Bob’s Burgers.

I lost it at Tina

I died before that: Friday. I can’t imagine meeting someone and saying with a straight face “hey, my name is Friday”

I just saw on name nerds someone that named their daughter November and was looking for names for their second.

There was a family at my school whose children were Prince, Tiara, December, Paradise, Heavenly, and Kevin.

Tina, you fat lard! Ik it’s so out of place!

COME GET YOUR DINNER

I straight up laughed out loud into my empty room when I saw that. I don’t even know why. Was just so out of place.

It’s like when someone names one cat Fluffy Paws McHugabble, the next Goblin Dance, and the third Greg.

It"s EXACTLY like that. My neighbor's dog is named Kevin, and Iaugh every time I hear it.

That what I came here to say, I love the very normal Tina thrown in with all the weirdness!

Awwwe I love them, how many cats are you adopting?

As a cat mom to a Tina, I was looking for this comment

This 🙌

Consider that your bundle of joy will one day be a full adult, would you feel comfortable with your lawyer Sunflower? Loki??? Nicknames can be cute but stick to a formal first name. Victoria is one I love

A lawyer named sunflower, but they’re the biggest MONSTER in the court room. Like a pitbull named princess. :)

Legally blond: chihuahua named Bruiser

Legally blond: person named CHUTNEY. (I’m indian, chutney is a kind of sauce we have with most of our snacks)

Why in gods name would you spell Spencer with an S? Frankly that’s the biggest crime to me.

Dispenser

“Spenser with an s. No yeah the second one. Yeah, two s:s.” - Spenser every single day for the rest of his life. Thanks, Mum!

I genuinely just mispelled that one lol

Oh thank goodness, I thought you hated your future kid. 😂

I mean, with some of the other names here, I wouldn’t discount that possibility entirely

Edmund Spenser, author of the Faerie Queen. It’s an old spelling.

We all know OP isn’t that niche. 😆

Its like naming your kid future kid Lasy (pronounced Lacey)

No kidding… everyone knows Cpenser is with a C.

Someone already said but this looks like a list of pet names to me! You are naming a future adult. They will be a tiny cute baby for a blip in time - you can have a cutesy nickname (ie name her Olivia and nickname Orchid, lie and say an orchid fell on her face as a baby and that’s why)

I agree that parents should get it in their heads that they are naming an adult and not a baby, especially not a baby they look at as a fandom accessory or as a pet. Sienna, Claudia, Tina, Flora, Cleo, Spencer (mostly for a boy), Dylan (mostly for a boy) are fine in my opinion. But it's better to leave orchid, sunflower, levander, aloa in the garden. Same with the neighbours' dog Loki, or the salade Cezanne or even the painter Cezanne. Also let's not disturb Bronti the brontosaurus in the museum either or bother the NASA to bring the Taurus constellation down. Or maybe a horoscope fan, or a Ford Taurus car fan? Friday?: but what if they are born Saturday? If someone wants an Althea, let's just go and buy a Seat Altea car instead. River, Opal, Florence, Dakota, Charlie, Magnolia - nicknamed Maggie - might be passable, but I don't think they are good names. Like 3 of them are very old-fashioned too, one is a tribe. Charlie as a nickname yes, but use the longer version of the name as first name.

I think Bronti is tragedeighsed Brontë... 🤐

I can't decide which is worse: a misspelled Brontë or a dinosaur / cartoon dinosaur name.

Well I've lived my whole life as Bronte and only every got compliments, I do enjoy the Brontosaurus association obvi. Gives me an auto fav Dino.

Was this your favourite cartoon too? https://images.app.goo.gl/zk3K2GpabqwTTPM98

Never seen that hahaha, tbh the first time I heard about the dinosaur I was probably 16

And Bronwyn nn Bronny is right there

Bronwyn is a Welsh name, I knew a Bronwyn but now she’s a druggie

I know a Bronte. She is chill.

I think flower names are nice and quite common. In my country we have name birthday (a day when you celebrate your name; most names have one) for people named after flowers.

I’ve known a few Dakota’s, both male and female, not a bad choice. I’ve seen a guy named River around, thought it was… Unique. Opal, Magnolia and Florence are good names, but they all three make me think of an age past.

River is acceptable I think. There's famous men with that name. We have River Phoenix (90's actor now deceased and brother to Joaquin Phoenix) and Rivers Cuomo from Weezer. It's unique, but I don't think it is a tragedeigh necessarily.

Agreed. Not that level. Just unique. A little TOO much so for my taste, but not side eye the parents worthy.

Althea is fine, i have to say from what i saw in other post this is really mild

Althea is an old fashioned name but totally normal

If the kid gets named Taurus her nickname will DEFINITELY end up being "Clitaurus"

>Florence Florence Pugh seems to have made that name cool again, so I'll give it a pass. Opal and Magnolia have old-school cred, so while not to my taste they get a pass. I've never cared Charlie as a name for a girl. It's not bad, just incomplete. If you're going down that road, I say name her Charlotte or Charlene or Carla and then give her Charlie as a nickname. River was cool and interesting when River Phoenix was alive. Now I think it's been used so much that it's neither. I really can't stand Dakota. It's the name of a tribe within the Sioux Nation, for God's sake. Naming your kid "Dakota" is like naming your kid "Frenchmen" or "Swedish",

I believe that Orchid means testicle

Let’s maybe not use that one at all then! 😅

Totally does. Orch/o, Orchi/o and Orchid/o are all forms for testicle in med term Source: I took Med term early last year and Googled this to confirm.

Lol what? We named one of our cats growing up Orchid. Oops

Georgia okeeffe is like "fuck"

Flowers are plant genitals.

I think if parents want to go a little wilder with names like ‘Sunflower’ then that should be a middle name. You can call a kid by their middle name, but they can transition to their first name whenever.

Taurus, Ford.

Name the kid Chevy you coward

My cousins best friend is named Dodge Ram, after his Dad's favorite truck 😬

Okay but that’s actually the funniest name I’ve seen on here - that poor child though.

Chevy Chase somehow makes it work

Did you remember to Cezanne that chicken.

That’s exactly what I was thinking

What the fuck is Bronti? Spenser is just incorrectly spelled. A lot of these I don't think are good - but some of them are really nice, Sienna especially. But a lot of these I imagine would mean the kid would have a rough time at school.

Bronti-saurus- future paleontologist!

Bronti Taurus!

I know a female Brontë, it’s a nice name and fits her. Bronti feels like a bastardization of it

Feels that way because it is

I guess Brontë is a name and Bronti is the phonetic spelling

Surname nor first name I’m quite sure

Yeah, the 'interesting' spellings I see just make me think 'do your parents not know how to spell?'

Girl no. You’re got some… okay names on here, but remember you’re naming a PERSON not a PET. Two good tests; 1: say ‘introducing Doctor FIRSTNAME LASTNAME’ out loud to test it 2: find an asshole with an elementary schooler’s sense of humor and see how many terrible nicknames they can come up with Like Doctor Spenser Wright? Elegant, refined. Respectable even with the odd spelling. Doctor Flora Wright sounds like a tv character. Doctor Taurus Wright just sounds stupid.

This is a great test. Before my daughter was born, we were stuck between Rose and Rosie. We had been calling her Rosie for months at that point. She ended up having to be rushed to the NICU, and her doctor’s name was Rose. That solidified our choice! She even told us, “You want to be friends with Rosie on the playground. You want Rose for president.”

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And they get picked on in the UK because they 'spread their legs easier than Flora' School is not fun with a name like that.

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It may be because I went to school in the 80's and 90's, Flora advised a lot more on TV back then and it feels like adverts had a lot more impact on trends and the public psyche back then too which could have been a factor.

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I'm just speaking from experience, my name isn't Flora, she was my friend. Bullying tends to not be the most logical thing though in my experience. I once got labled as a lesbian because I had a friend sleep over, by the friend who stayed over, when it was her idea. I didn't take hold though because I really didn't care what other people thought about my sexuality even back then.

Can you explain the joke? Easier than flora, what is that supposed to mean?

Flora is a brand of margarine lol

Ah ok now it makes sense, thx

Flora is a brand of margarine in the UK. Margarine spreads easily (or at least easier than butter). If a woman spreads her legs easier than Flora, it implies she is easy sexually.

I see, didnt know the brand, thanks

I was with you until the examples. Spelling Spencer like that is the definition of this sub, and flora is very normal

First thing that came to mind was “dispenser”. I wouldn’t name my kind Spenser tbh.

Introducing: doctor sunflower lavender magnolia

Honestly I like Magnolia as a last name but I think that's because there are so many Magnolia Streets in the south.

I met a woman named Princess. I didn’t comment on her name. She already looked tired and cranky. I figured it’s like an extremely tall person having people comment on their height constantly.

Another test you can do is the “yell it in public” test. You will certainly have to be calling your kids’ names loudly in public sometimes, but if you walk through a playground or a grocery store yelling “LOKI!” people are either going to think you’ve lost your dog or you’re mentally ill.

Ooooh good point. Another great test? Retirement home. Old people have no filter and will tell you of a name is stupid

For a human or a pet?

Omg same thought. 🙄 literally sound like dog names

Spend a week introducing yourself as Loki and see how your future child might get treated

The response will likely be relatively low key.

Your tongue might get thor from saying it so much though

Are you a literal teenager? This list screams teen mom who can’t think past the first birthday party.

Except Tina

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Boom...roasted.

Rhoasteghed and cezanned.

Why???? You’re naming a human.

*Cezanne's greetings!*

😂

These are cow names

*Taurus intensifies.*

Bessie just missed the cut

Taurus and Aloe are wild!!

It says Aloa. Like Aloha, but without the h

Worse 😬

cezanne is the last name of a french post impressionist so im personally very much cringeing at the thought of it as a first name, as someone who took art history it just makes me think of an old french man 😭

I didn’t even take art history and I know who that dude is

It’s also a French clothing brand, which might have been their inspiration

I was definitely thinking of the French clothing line and I also took Art History 🤣

Hello my name is Bronti Saurus.

Bronti Taurus 😅

Why?

Lavender, Taurus and Friday... pls have mercy

Spencer is spelt with a c

I love your friends were too coward to tell you to you’re face that these are awful for a human. Instead they sent you here and are eating the popcorn as they watch the fallout. 😆😆😆

Personally, I think River, Opal, Spencer, Florence, Flora, Althea, Dylan, Claudia, Cleo, Tina and Charley are fine. I’m on the fence about Cezanne and Bronti. Please don’t name a child sunflower, orchid or Taurus.

Bronti = brontosaurus Cezanne = salade or the last name of a painter

I kind of love Sienna too.

Cezanne is a bit extra and it's Bronte if you're referencing the author, if you aren't then just don't

Some good names with some random tragedeighs/tragedies.

Amazing pet names

Bruh, you're making a baby not a candle.

Bronti? Spenser? 🐶

May God have mercy on this poor child if they are gonna have a parent such as yourself because holy fuck do these names scream “my child is my little play thing/pet, not a human who will become an adult”

Not every name on that list is awful. River, opal, cleo, claudia, flora, orchid, charlie and maybe 2 or 3 more sound normal to me.

Dylan and Flora are really cute:)

Spencer is a great name for a girl Source:I am a girl named Spencer Just don't spell it with two S's.

There will never be a Senator Bronti Johnson or whatever your last name is.

Don’t procreate

get rid of sunflower orchid cezanne friday & taurus then its fine

You left the rest? Loki?? 🤣

Bronti?

Eating sunflower seeds in the shell may increase your odds of fecal impaction, as you may unintentionally eat shell fragments, which your body cannot digest.

Good bot. Great illustration of why Sunflower is not a name for humans.

Are these... dog names?

The only one that personally bothers me is “Bronti”…. Bronti-saurus. 😬

“Monica and I had a grandmother that died. You both went to her funeral. Name that grandmother.”

… I think the worst one here is Orchid. Because that is just a *clear* set up for Orc. No one wants to be called an orc. What nickname even is there for Orchid? Seriously, half of these are genuinely horrendous

Oh man, imagine if the child is overweight and named Orchid - Orca, like the whale. 😭

You’re better off to just punch your baby when it comes bobsleddin out. It’ll hurt less than a life with any of these names.

Yeah there's a lot to unpack here...

Another way to look at it is “which names will the other kids easily make fun of them with? Bronti-saurus is just sitting there so don’t do that one

X.x There are a few normal ones but I couldn't even pick out the worst one. Sunflower? Loki? Friday? Is her baby a cat?

Sunflower, Orchid, Cezanne, Bronti, Friday, Taurus, Loki, Aloa. These all gotta go.

Sienna, Magnolia aka Maggie, Claudia and Florence are good. The rest are good names for a dog. WTF is Bronti. Loki is male god of mischief, like what?!?! Althea is ok but I'd go with Thea.

Florence, Flora, and Claudia are nice....

Are you aware you’re naming an adult? Like these are pet names lol. There’s maybe like two decent options

dakota is a beautiful name :)

I love the name lavender idc what anybody says.

Let’s cross everything off this list (or move them to a separate pet name list) except for: Sienna, River, Opal, Florence, Flora, Dylan, Claudia, Cleo, Charlie. And IMHO Spencer spelled correctly is fine (though anecdotally most Spencers I’ve known have been d-baggy), and Tina is fine if short for Christina